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polyconfused38 Archive

View 2 posts and 106 comments by polyconfused38 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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10

Yeah, tbh it seems like the OP is not recognizing his own mirror image in women who think like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/18 02:58 PM
-6

Being single looks great until a woman's attractiveness starts to drop off, no? I don't think a lot of young women realize just how hard this fall happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/18 02:57 PM
1

High number means she is less likely to ever be satisfied with the sex she is having with you and more likely to wander or get frustrated. It's like people who travel all the time, they get addicted to it, wanderlust.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/18 06:05 AM
6

Not sure what purpose this analysis serves since you’re basically describing like 90-95% of the population. And like 99.9999% if your standard is the Sheryl Sandbergs of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 09:26 PM
2

Yup. I’m on my way there already.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 05:19 PM
6

Right, and while some women might be attracted to the lambo, most women aren't going to be like "my man only has a BMW, I'm going for the lambo guy."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 08:41 AM
0

This might seem like funny advice, but maybe you should try ex-military spouses. They tend to marry on the young side and then divorce. I know three different attractive and nice women who fit this description and remarried -- one married my friend and is a couple years older than him but looks great and is hot, one was my friend from college and married a much better guy the second time than her douchey first husband, and one is someone I met recently who married an older guy after a failed too…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:30 AM
2

same
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 07:16 AM
3

I've noticed that most NBA players tend to have pretty tall wives/gfs. IDK if that's their preference or the women's preference or both.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 04:41 AM
2

I think there have to be ceilings for some of these traits. Between a 6'4" handsome hedge fund manager and a 7'2" handsome hedge fund manager I think a lot of women would choose the 6'4" guy, because 7'2" is actually going to be physically awkward for an average-sized woman -- dancing, hugging, kissing, probably even sex, and she'll basically be talking to his stomach.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 03:39 AM
1

I will say that for myself, I've always felt like 7 and up in hotness is all the same. At that point it just comes down to personality and fit, whether we click or not. I was never really interested in getting "the hottest girl" -- that seems more like an ego thing or arm candy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 03:21 AM
3

I had a 5'6" housemate in college who slayed it with women. His gf was one of the hottest girls I knew. Wasn't cut or anything either, just had this confident, laid back party guy vibe and was fun to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 03:16 AM
0

narcissists who didn't want kids and preferred to just have "experiences"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 03:13 AM
5

an 18 month marriage that started at age 21 is totally forgivable. An 18-month marriage that started at age 33 is a flashing red light.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 03:11 AM
9

People are staring at the 6'11 guy because it's something you don't see every day. Most women do not choose the tallest or most muscular guy they can find, they choose a man with a mix of attractive traits. For example, most women will take a guy who is 6'1", educated, "in shape" (think soccer player) and has high income vs a 6'11" guy who is jacked and makes $35,000 a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 03:08 AM
1

Or pitied.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 02:23 AM
7

But most of them aren’t going to be interested in dealing with a man’s two other sets of kids and all the baggage that entails unless he’s a top .01% catch like a super wealthy man or a celebrity or something
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 02:20 AM
2

Anyone remember the first season of true detective when Harrelson browses the dating site? That was probably the most depressing on-screen thing I’ve ever seen.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 02:12 AM
1

Addicts are often easy to bed, just have the stuff they want, no need to even go redpill. If that’s really how you want to live.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/18 12:23 AM
4

No matter how hot you are there’s always someone hotter out there. Virtually every guy on the planet has to deal with that reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 11:37 PM
2

But who is the keymaster
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 04:25 PM
2

Like a lot of RP stuff it seems like there is some useful advice in there but it’s taken a bit to an extreme. It sounds like it’s designed to create relationships where the other partner is insecure and on her toes all the time, and that seems like the kind of thing that (1) would work better on an already insecure woman and (2) a man would have to himself be very insecure to need.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 02:42 PM
2

Well that wasn’t my question but nonetheless why can’t you view it through the same lens? Two people want the security of a partner while keeping their options open to find a better one.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 04:04 AM
1

Not a lot but I’ve warmed to some of the ideas. I’m a little put off by all the jargon and acronyms and the absolutist way of looking at things but there is more truth to it than I originally thought. First caught onto this when I started lifting a couple years ago (not because of trp just bc a trainer I knew talked me into it). The changes I experienced in personality, confidence and self esteem were better than years of therapy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 03:59 AM
1

I know it sounds a little condescending but I don’t think she really knew what she wanted from it or why she wanted it. And more dominance def seems like part of it. I don’t know if women are particularly bad at understanding what they really want like terps claim or just my wife is or maybe everyone is. But every step of the way her actions contradicted what she said she wanted and her rationales.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 03:56 AM
2

Yeah, I mean you’re right. I don’t think I’m even looking for help anymore at this point, just sort of venting/trying to figure things out. But I’ve consistently said no to open marriage other than my initial period of “well maybe I’ll think about it”. She hadn’t brought it up again for a while but today she asked me to read The Ethical Slut and I was just like “No. I don’t want polyamory and a book is not going to change my mind.” Weirdly, for the rest of the day she was extra affectionate towa…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 03:48 AM
2

Hot women everywhere realize the error of their chad-chasing ways and beg average men to marry them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 02:50 AM
1

Yeah not that simple though. Two kids a mortgage history and believe it or not still a good amount of love between us. If I was 25 and we had no kids I probably would have ended it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/18 02:28 AM
2

I basically stayed close to the same body fat % while gaining about 20lbs from lifting in two years. I’d like to lose some fat but still look and feel much better than I did.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 06:38 PM
1

Yeah this is the view I’m coming around to, mostly from the experience of having my wife try to get an open marriage out of me. Until then I just didn’t give it much thought, to each his own etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 06:03 PM
1

I used to hate steely dan too fwiw. They were my parents’ music, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:55 PM
4

Yeah while it’s not an ideal situation, 40-50yo divorced men with older kids have kind of a sweet spot window for a second marriage to a younger woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:55 PM
1

Hey nineteen
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:47 PM
2

Hey Walter Becker is dead have some respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:41 PM
2

Your last point is a fair one, but at the same time, I have often found in my life that the more time I spend hanging out with and flirting with other women and becoming interested in them, the more I find “flaws” with my marriage. Because relationships aren’t static things, they’re things you have to choose to give energy to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:39 PM
3

“Just wants to try it out” isn’t a why. Why does she want to try it out?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:23 PM
2

But since sex is tied to bonding, doesn’t having sex with others increase the odds that you will bond with someone else, and that, if they seem “better” you will feel the desire to leave your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:22 PM
4

I agree it’s not a hypothesis you can scientifically test. But its just a Reddit thread. And calling it “evolutionary pressure” vs “subconscious desire” seems like a meaningless distinction to me. Either way it’s a root cause.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:21 PM
2

Ok fair enough. I guess in that situation it could be the case. What about in other situations?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:16 PM
12

Ok, let’s not fight the question with outlier hypos. Let’s say we are talking about a regular marriage, bedroom is not dead but not fireworks either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:12 PM
6

I find the whole MGTOW thing to be very “I’m wounded and I refuse to face it.” Basically guys who are avoiding working through their deep hurts and insecurities and covering it up with an “I’m taking my toys and going home” attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 05:41 AM
1

The French have a way of capturing certain aspects of truth through literary and philosophical hyperbole. This never translates well to Americans, who are very literal and earnest.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/18 04:10 AM
1

I do care, but learning to care less actually made me better at it, paradoxically.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/18 08:57 PM
2

I know rich opiate addicts and I had a UMC family member die indirectly as a result of opiate addiction.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/18 01:34 PM
3

Because you are cherry picking one or two facts about countries that don’t necessarily tell you much about the overall condition of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/18 06:30 AM
3

And I discovered what a difference it makes to my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 06:19 PM
2

No, I discovered barbell lifting in my 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 06:18 PM
1

My impression as a relative old man of the internet is that this generation struggles with the concept of “enough,” not so much materially as in terms of experiences, travel, freedom, lifestyle, work and yes dating. You have to keep looking for the dream job, the better partner, travel to more countries, try more exotic foods etc. this does seem like an outgrowth of social media and apps, including tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 06:01 PM
2

Probably don’t put women on a pedestal. I figured this out on my own before red pill existed but it changed my dating life a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 04:36 PM
1

Lifting is probably the greatest discovery of my life and I’m a little disappointed I only found it in my 30s. Whole life would have been different.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 04:34 PM
15

The blue pill is a straw man set up by the red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 02:04 PM
1

I feel like I did, yes, although not only for the reason you said but also because it made me more likely to stop looking for something “better” as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/18 12:43 PM
2

Lol @ “save face” — women who accuse athletes of rape on campus become pariahs. You think they’re going to risk that to preserve a six month relationship with Joe College?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 06:00 PM
1

I think there are a variety of mating strategies and this might be one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 05:55 PM
7

That’s not my experience at all. Women respect you when you stand up for yourself. What they react badly to is when you overreact and throw a fit like a bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 05:41 PM
5

That’s completely contradictory - you’re saying that women consider it mistreatment to stand up for yourself and then you’re saying they like “mistreatment.” Maybe they just like a man who stands up for himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 05:38 PM
4

Odd to lump in having a spine with mistreatment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 05:27 PM
21

You mean discussing human relationships through a purely analytical framework with long strings of jargon and opaque acronyms isn’t what normal people do?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/18 02:52 AM
2

As much as this is a hilarious meme, is there really much media promotion of cuckoldry? Or do you mean shit like open marriage, in which case yeah the media does push it on us.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/18 03:24 AM
4

It’s a small minority fetish
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/18 11:04 PM
18

The economy actually. I think student debt, high housing and healthcare costs and low wages are hindering people from forming committed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/18 06:46 AM
17

She either consents or doesn’t. If the man being more attractive makes a woman more likely to consent that doesn’t change the fact that it’s consent, and if a man being less attractive makes consent less likely that doesn’t change the fact that it’s not consent. I can’t speculate on the Aziz hypo but I think generally that’s a good thing to understand. Frustrated internet dorks make this “point” over and over again like it proves something — “If he was hotter it wouldn’t be rape!” Well, hot men …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/18 02:13 AM
5

It’s exceedingly rare. Maybe avoid situations that might actually create a motive (eg affair sex or sex with a religious virgin). But really, it’s like asking how to avoid being in a commercial Airliner crash. Don’t worry about it. Go on vacation and enjoy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/18 01:36 AM
2

I do think that a very visible branch of feminism has turned into “ Whatever women want is feminist.” Which is a very consumerist and depoliticized model of feminism. But it’s not the only model.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 08:49 PM
2

Not all or even a majority of young women hand out in dance clubs.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 08:46 PM
1

Also, have you considered seeing a therapist or doing some kind of self-help?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 08:33 PM
1

What kind of area do you live in? Liberal? Conservative? Big city? Small suburb?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 08:29 PM
1

Hard to say without knowing you or seeing you in person. But one thing I will say is that every guy I’ve known who fit your description eventually found someone. I knew a guy who was a virgin into his thirties and still got married and had kids. So don’t give up or fall to despair.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 07:27 PM
1

Approach more women and learn to care less about rejection (these things go hand in hand). Don’t worry about how they react. It’s true you may have a lower batting average than some guys and you have to accept that it isn’t “fair.” Just like if you were playing basketball you’d have to accept that you’ll never dunk or be a heavy shot blocked and learn to maximize your skills as a smaller dude. If you approach a hundred women and not one says yes, then maybe there’s some other problem — setting t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 06:32 PM
1

Give us a little more info on your situation. What traits do you feel are holding you back and what kind of self improvement and socializing are you doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/18 05:22 PM
3

I guarantee you the 5'6" average-looking handyman in my building is happier with his life (nice teacher wife, three kids, house, generally chill guy who laughs and smiles a lot) than the OP (creates pseudo-scientific megathreads relying on psychology today articles and bad logic to validate an excessively binary worldview).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 10:19 PM
6

Let’s see, A is strongly correlated with B and A is strongly correlated with C, therefore B is strongly correlated with C? You must be ugly.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 09:19 PM
1

Yeah well that’s what maintains civilization. It’s not arbitrary
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 08:42 PM
2

B. I can’t say there are literally no set of facts where I would choose A but you didn’t get there. Anyway the hypo is unrealistic. I would never choose A and always try to find someone good enough who would be exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/18 04:40 AM
2

My mother stayed home and then had an unprofitable vanity business from home and was pretty lazy about both. It always bothered me how little she contributed compared to my dad so I think I unconsciously wanted to marry someone with more work ethic and responsibility and I did. Not a high-flying career woman per se but both works and contributes a lot at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 06:33 PM
2

I don’t “help” with childcare, I take care of my kids (when I’m not at work).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/18 12:32 AM
2

I don’t think there’s any plausible world in which there is no “system incentivizing this.” The system incentivizing it is called human biology. Most women want kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 08:22 PM
5

That’s true, but I don’t think that tons of men acted on that in a literal way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 08:21 PM
9

It has nothing to do with absolving anyone. A girl who gets pregnant at 16 is not making a deliberate and rational choice to be a single mother because, she’s not thinking it though much at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 04:51 PM
1

Single parenthood isn’t typically a deliberate choice. More UMS mindset at work skewing things.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 04:49 PM
8

Neither did marriage 1.0. Plenty of dead bedrooms in the good ole days.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 04:01 PM
7

You’re assuming that there’s an intentional process of “becoming single mothers” at work. I’m pretty sure most of them aren’t making a trip to the sperm bank with the intention of “becoming single mothers”, so it has to be something more like they get knocked up and hope the guy will stay and he doesn’t, or they’re just young and don’t think things through at all, or they are divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 03:29 PM
8

Maybe you project insecurity or unhappiness in the way you talk about it. When I assume people will find my job boring they tend to do so. But when I talk about what I like about it they are interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 03:21 PM
14

What do you think marriage is? It’s always been partly an economic arrangement throughout history. What I find weird is that terps think this makes it into some kind of scam, rather than finding it natural to want stability, companionship, regular access to sex and to have offspring and see them thrive. That’s not any pill, it’s just being an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 03:20 PM
7

I half agree but I don’t think fewer women in the workforce would solve the problem as there are other macroeconomic forces driving down wages, as well as inflating costs like housing and tuition and reducing social supports.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 02:57 PM
4

Acceptable to whom? I’m talking about actual couples I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 02:55 PM
19

Young men and women are less interested in marriage because wages suck and debt is high. It’s not rocket science. You marry to do stuff like have kids, buy a house. If you can’t afford to do those things, what’s the point? You want to be butthurt at the Wal-mart assistant manager scraping by on 35k a year because she doesn’t see the point of marrying an unemployed guy or a part time cashier, go ahead. But what would be the point of the marriage for her?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 02:54 PM
14

Women who make the median income or lower don’t want men to make less than them because you basically can’t raise a family that way— the woman’s income isn’t enough alone, yet two working parents requires them to pay for childcare which will eat up most of the second income. This has less to do with evolution or gender norms and more to do with practical economic realities than Terpers think. Also there is huge UMC bias in the way terpers talk about this stuff. Anecdotal but I know plenty of UMC…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/18 02:38 PM
0

Well yeah but it’s about the context. There’s a difference between a peer saying to a peer “Hey, I like you, can we grab a drink sometime?” vs a more senior employee saying “Yeah sure I’ll help you with your career...if you go on a date with me” which is pretty much the implication of Sandberg’s story
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 06:38 AM
3

Sure, also a lot of those “loyal” marriages in the golden old days were frigid, sexless, quietly bitter situations. And my grandmother says a lot of the women around her were drinking heavily or taking Valium to cope with the boredom, loneliness and emptiness of being a suburban housewife. At least now I guess there’s yoga and Pilates.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 05:19 AM
1

I’ve thought this a lot myself. Amateur evolutionary theory is always dicey and hence i tend to stay away from it but here are some flaws I see in TRP thinking about “evolution”: it discounts the possibility that different women might use a wide variety of strategy in mating instead of all simply going for the most “alpha” man they can find at the expense of all other traits. it overemphasizes the individualistic aspect of evolution and discounts that we might have some group-oriented evolutiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 01:55 AM
10

I think Elvis was good looking but also had some feminine qualities. That gets overlooked how a lot of women like men with a mix of masculinity and femininity. Watch Ziggy Stardust and look at how the women faint for Bowie.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/18 12:19 AM
0

But show me an example of someone who actually lost their job for a single incident of asking a coworker out to dinner. Most of these cases are more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 10:49 PM
1

Joking. Fwiw I’m maybe 5’9” on a good day and have been described as”tall” by multiple women, which I can only assume is because I’m handsome, in decent shape and project confidence. I even once had a woman insist I was taller than my brother, who was five feet away from me. He is scruffier and fatter than me but clearly 1-2” taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 10:35 PM
2

Rich
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 10:33 PM
2

What is the context of this millennial women claim I keep hearing? Where did it originate?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 08:25 PM
9

The Aziz story is just a good argument for either (a) having a girlfriend or (b) not trying out your extra freaky shit on ONS. Honestly I don’t see the big deal — casual sex is more freely available than ever. Maybe just go vanilla until you know the person better and don’t try to act out some gonzo porn you saw.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 08:18 PM
5

No. It will give men already afraid to ask women out yet another excuse
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 08:16 PM
3

Oh not saying it’s easy at all, but the way these redpill guys setup this exaggeratedly alpha “chad” character as their competition for virtually all women only furthers their wallowing and bitterness. Maybe they should pause and give some thought to the fact that, somehow, they were born, which means that their “beta” dad who gave them their “beta” genes managed to impregnate someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 06:49 PM
1

A lot of women 18-25 are flighty and don’t know what they want out of life, and few women in that age range want to get married except for uneducated and lower class women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 05:10 PM
1

Has it ever occurred to you that if beta providers could never be sexually attractive, beta provider genes would just die out?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 03:38 PM
4

Honestly a lot of the anger in the manosphere comes from young men sitting around in their basements playing video games and fuming about “chad” rather than just going out, improving themselves, socializing and acting like a normal person. Non-chads meet, date and marry women and even procreate with them every single day. Stop setting up this impossible hill to climb and then being mad at the hill.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 03:36 PM
1

Some guys are out to confirm their worst fears. So guys who follow Roosh hate and fear women and then seek out the kind of women that match their idea of what a woman is. Yeah, you can always find a completely untrustworthy woman with daddy issues who only likes objectification and isn’t capable of good relationships. There are plenty out there, and then it’s confirmation bias at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 02:47 PM
2

I’m married with kids, so were we ever to split up I couldn’t really justify not considering single moms as partners. I can’t even say I’d have an absolute preference for non-moms, I’d take a better quality woman with a kid over a lower quality one without kids. But I’d want to have my own kids with her too, at least one.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 02:43 PM
2

What if he was actively involved in his children’s’ lives, eg had joint custody? And why are you assuming something not in the hypo?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 02:38 PM
23

I’ve been aware of “red pill” concepts for a long time and I think they capture some truths but are overly simplistic. In a way, this is not unlike the movie from which the concept takes its name — in the movie, you live in a lie until you take the red pill and see “the truth.” In reality, truth and perception are messy things that you can never fully resolve. Red pill is not “the truth” it’s just another lens through which to look at things, highlighting some truths and obscuring others.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/18 02:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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