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View 1 post and 346 comments by pro-frog on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Question For Menpro-frog/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 03:28 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Okay, and I bet both partners appreciate getting their mortgage paid? People can contribute equal time and effort without doing exactly the same things, especially when doing different things gets them more than doing the same thing. I mean, if people want to split the work this way, good for them, but it's not as if this is some magical fix-all that anyone could do.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 09:10 PM
0

Doesn't necessarily make financial sense - if one partner makes more or has good benefits associated with full time work, it's kind of silly to split it this way just because.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/23 01:43 PM
1

I think the key difference is that in the first scenario, a man may not necessarily know what the correct answer is, but he does know he's being tested. But in the second answer, he has no idea a test is even happening. That's the key difference between "finding things out" and "shit testing."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 01:39 PM
1

I get what you're saying about people who imply it's impossible to lose weight, but this is the kind of thing that's easier for some people than it is for others. Mental illness, emotional regulation, metabolism, genetics, stress, location, employment..... they can all play a role. It isn't easy for everyone, just like it isn't hard for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/23 05:32 PM
–

They both have responsibility here. If he had a problem with the amount of sex in the relationship, he should've tried to talk it out with her, maybe push for counseling - and she should've been open about how she was losing attraction for him and why. Then they could've worked on fixing it. Instead they opened the relationship to fix a problem, which does not work. Opening a relationship is for when a couple is stable, not when they're feeling resentful.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/23 01:58 PM
6

Right, it's scary. That's a human reaction. You just have to try to be with people who you can trust - not because they have no options, but because they can be believed when they say they want to be with you. It opens you up to the risk of being hurt, but it also means you could be happy and secure with someone who's had sex with other people before.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 06:14 PM
15

That does sound pretty shitty. Why are you thinking about other men while you're having hot sex with a woman? If you're with someone who wants to be with you, there's no reason to let insecurity get in the way of something great.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 05:58 PM
3

Being a rapist correlates with higher body count.............. that is how math works. Criminal men would also be prone to high-risk behavior like unprotected sex, and may be more likely to have sex with women in poverty who might not prioritize having protection on hand or be able to afford an abortion - or even recognize the need for an abortion before it's too late. Not to say that women are only or primarily attracted to good people, but there are a lot of other explanations for those result…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 06:50 PM
4

Sure, that's a risk you take with any interaction. If someone legitimately was interested in a relationship and then changed their mind, that's just the cost of doing business. Sex isn't a ring and people can and do change their minds. That's not the situation you describe, though. You described someone lying, pretending to be interested, and then claiming they changed their mind once they got what they wanted. That absolutely is manipulation. They used someone for sex knowing it was not a mutua…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 03:26 PM
8

So to say "I am looking for a long-term relationship" when you know you're only interested in sex is fine?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 02:39 PM
2

I think the only key word that's really flagging here is "submissiveness." "Feminine" also stands out but it depends on how you interpret it. IMO no one should ever desire a submissive partner, because a submissive partner is one who is pressured not to communicate and enforce their own boundaries. When there is a conflict of yours and their boundaries, it defaults to you. That's not a healthy or equal dynamic, and partnerships should be equal. I see it as a pretty big red flag if you're okay wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 02:32 PM
11

There are a lot fewer women who want casual sex than men who want casual sex. Those women who want casual sex are gonna wanna be with the most attractive option, because without knowing beforehand that someone is good in bed, physical appearance is basically all you have to go on. This means that, yes, an average-looking dude is going to have fewer options for casual sex than an average-looking woman. You're gonna get denied a lot. That doesn't make it okay to do manipulative shit to get a woman…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 02:10 PM
43

For the computer one - it's missing some social weight behind it. A closer equivalent that real men actually deal with would be a father out with his kids being complimented on what a good babysitter he is just for taking the kids to the park. The assumption is that because he's a man, the standard of parenting is lower, so to meet basic expectations is exceptional. It's patronizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 07:20 PM
1

Honestly a good take. I think it becomes very easy (both in the delivery and the interpretation) to conflate "general trends of women's preferences contribute to societal ills" with "so all women are picky bitches who need to be taken down a peg." It's easy for men to blame women, and it's easy for women to get defensive. The reality is that, yeah, there are women out there who get the ick when they see their boyfriend cry. It's wrong, it's harmful, and the problem exists. Yes, there are women w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 03:57 PM
3

So....... then even among women you know, the full line of traits isn't the bare minimum?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 01:26 PM
0

👌👌👌👌👌👌👌 taste
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 04:31 AM
-1

Sexual attraction based on personality ≠ no sexual attraction. Just because she wouldn't jump your bones if she knew nothing about you as a person doesn't mean she's not sexually attracted - because she does know you as a person if you're in a relationship!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 07:22 PM
2

That's a study based purely on facial features, and all it suggests, really, is that men who have more masculine features are more likely to cheat, while women who have more feminine features are no more or less likely to cheat than anyone else. It also suggests that we may be more likely to see a man as a cheater than a woman. That says absolutely nothing about any of the flags I discussed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 07:18 PM
-1

It's not "basically just guessing." So many people don't watch how their partners treat them. Do they actually give a shit about you? Do they do little things that show they care? Are they responding in ways that show they don't care? Have they lost interest in you? When you bring up a concern, can you talk about it or are you waved off? Are you just assumed to be the one who takes care of X Y & Z? Are you taken for granted? Do they make you doubt your instincts that say something is wrong? Do t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 05:24 PM
1

I mean, this is the big issue with developing a long-term relationship primarily on the basis of sexual attraction. It's a factor, but if you look for women who care about more than sexual attraction, you'll find partners who will be loyal because they care more about you and the relationship than they do about constantly ensuring they're having sex with the hottest available mate. It's a risk, sure, because how do you know? You have to try without getting to be certain, and there's a lot of tru…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/22 01:43 PM
1

Could it be that men are imagining what it would be like to fuck whoever's on screen, but women are imagining what it would be like to be whoever's on screen? As in, if they're showing signs of being aroused, she's imagining being aroused and therefore getting turned on.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 02:42 AM
1

I absolutely agree that if they ask you should be open about it. They'll need to get at least a little specific - "Are you a jealous person?" or "What's your relationship like with your parents?" rather than "Do you have any major flaws?" - but if they ask you should be honest. As for your last point I think it's a good idea to be open about those things because they deal so much with your future - not just your past. You're not obligated to be open unless they ask about it, but it just saves ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 12:39 PM
2

Yeah, no, this is crazy. Why should I be that vulnerable with someone who I barely even know? They're not my therapist. If something is a big dealbreaker for you, it's on you to ask about it. It's not someone else's job to rattle off a list of flaws on the first date, and comes across as pretty insecure to do so. What's the worst that happens - you spend a few dates with someone when it turns out it won't work out? I do think if you've got something big that deals with lifestyle-incompatibility …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 07:20 PM
-1

Mostly to marvel at how strange straight dating culture is. Y'all on all sides put so much emphasis on gender roles and for what
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 06:57 PM
19

Maybe for you. As a lesbian I'd say I'm pretty happy to be living in the time I am 👍 Pretty sure most sexual/gender/racial minorities would agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 02:56 PM
12

If the threat of violence is something people can just become accustomed to, why on earth would some people having less luck in dating not be the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/22 02:53 PM
6

Yeah, but it excludes short guys who aren't getting laid on the regular. This study says nothing about how often short guys on the whole have sex; it's talking about how often short guys with a regular female sex partner have sex, as compared to tall guys with a regular female sex partner. Put another way: There are 100 short guys and 100 tall guys. 20 short guys have a regular female partner; 60 tall guys have a regular female partner. Those 20 short guys, on average, are having more sex than t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 07:53 PM
4

Being something is not the same as doing something. You can try out more social events and hobbies without changing who you are as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/22 08:26 PM
11

I will say I think zodiac, "manifesting," etc runs a spectrum of magical thinking. Many people who say things like that are just using this superstitious format to do practical things - express their intentions for their life, pay attention to their gut and emotions, make conversation. Super anecdotal, but most people I know who like astrology just do it for fun and don't think any of it has real bearing on their life. Basically, just because someone is using those buzzwords doesn't necessarily …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/22 01:52 PM
1

If we're talking fanfiction, a major factor is often that platonic relationships between men are more deeply explored in some forms of media than romantic relationships between men and women. The men are main characters with depth and interesting features; the women are side characters or secondary leads with flat or uninteresting development. You see that in a lot of classic fandom-heavy works like Supernatural, Sherlock, Star Trek.... If you don't give your male lead an interesting romantic pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 10:34 PM
1

I wouldn't say I'm ignoring it. I never claimed who we're attracted to is totally within our control, either. It's a combination of factors, including the social environment and what we believe as well as our biology and genetics. They both have a pretty big impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 01:25 AM
2

This is something I find interesting specifically about queer dating. The more I love myself, the more I gravitate toward women who look like me. It doesn't feel like settling - I've felt settling, lmao. It feels more like I expand my capacity to love and be attracted to people when I accept that I do not have to treat a body that looks like mine as unattractive or unlovable. That experience is why I kind of call BS on the idea that who we're attracted to is totally out of our control. It's not …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 05:59 PM
7

"Men only look down on femininity when women try to compare themselves to men." Is there another way I ought to read that? Also, I do find it insulting to suggest men are naturally better leaders. Good leadership is the result of a number of admirable qualities all coming together in one person, including drive, confidence, self-assurance, competence, communication, humility, curiosity, and empathy, among others. Men and women are both perfectly capable of doing well at all of those individually…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:13 PM
2

Sorry, to be clear - men only look down on femininity when women deign to suggest that femininity does not, in fact, make someone inferior?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 05:04 PM
5

Yeah... they follow a few similar trends, such as "I don't date because I want to stay single," or "I'm fine being single but in a perfect world I'd have a good partner," or "I've had a lot of bad experiences in dating but I'm not fine being single, I just wish it wasn't so hard" It's not as if every person does something entirely different. You could probably sort people's dating behaviors into a handful of broad categories. But like.... not everyone does the same thing, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 02:24 PM
1

How do you measure this? How accurately can you measure the effectiveness of a pickup artist, when obviously they would lie about their degree of success? Can you name specific men or women you're thinking of as evidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:10 PM
1

As others have said, therapy is still an option. You could also just date people for a little while until the topic comes up and then discuss the fact that it makes you feel insecure. You can have the conversation with someone without blaming or shaming them as long as you emphasize that the feeling comes from assumptions you've made rather than any sort of universal truth. Might not always go well, since there are no guarantees in life, but it's one option. But yeah, I mean, there isn't a great…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:17 PM
2

If this gets taken down I'd recommend this post for r/Relationship_Advice - they'll do a pretty good job of explaining that the relationship you were in was emotionally abusive. The "loving" behavior you recall (like crying reading the love letter) was what's called love-bombing. It's not real, it's manipulation. Consciously or subconsciously, he knows that this is the way to keep you hooked - shower you with so much more affection than you've gotten from anyone else, so you put up with heinous …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 12:39 PM
12

Not the original commenter, but - yeah, kind of. A dude who intentionally seeks out insecure women who don't feel comfortable with themselves or their boundaries has some pretty significant shortcomings, especially if that's the only kind of woman he thinks he can get. A dude who makes it clear what he is and isn't looking for and gets with a woman whose boundary maintenance is so poor that she just ignores what she wants isn't at fault. But any dude who seeks out women like that, especially as …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 02:06 PM
2

Fucked up to lie about stuff like that. I think it's silly to worry about N-count and get all in your head about what it means, but you're allowed to worry about things I find silly. I wouldn't want anyone in a relationship lying about something I find important because they think my concerns aren't worth respecting. If you have to lie to keep the relationship, don't keep it. Leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 03:58 PM
8

OP drafting a rewrite of this post as we speak to get the answer he wants
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 02:31 PM
2

I feel like you're thinking that there's a finite supply of hurt and anger to be dished out, and if you spend some of it on the homewrecker, you end up letting the cheater off the hook, just a little bit. In reality, you can be hurt and angry at both! If I get stabbed and left for dead, and a stranger just walks by me, dying on the ground, sees I need help, and refuses to call 911, I'd be pretty justified being pissed at them. They didn't kill me, but they had a clear opportunity to help me and …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 10:17 PM
13

Not any of the older women I know, but that's a limited perspective. Stuff like this always sounds so bizarre when most of the women you know are pretty secure and confident in themselves and their relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 03:37 PM
12

I gotta make this a flair or something. What's good for you isn't good for everyone! Some women have better experiences with casual sex than you did. And it is liberating to be ABLE to have casual sex. The sex itself is not for everyone, but the CHOICE to freely have sex with whoever wants to have sex with you is indeed a freedom, whether or not you choose to use it. You should never give up your right to the choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 12:53 PM
10

Emma Watson is an average woman now?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:13 PM
14

When people brought up romance movies that target men, you said that they demonstrated your point - in order to see average men represented, you have to see movies targeted at men, like Scott Pilgrim or Perks of Being a Wallflower. Now the point is that there are no movies about romance that target men? That there are no movies focused on an unrealistic fantasy men have of women?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 10:28 PM
21

Does the average woman have representation in movies that target men?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 08:30 PM
6

IMO this is code for one of two things: "I don't really like you and I'm trying to justify why," or "I don't think you really like me, and once you know what actually liking someone is like you won't want me." Either way, she's just one person. I don't think everyone you come across would feel this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:04 PM
5

I'm with this commenter - I agree with you but this is such a poor argument. Would you feel the same way if we advanced birth control medication so that it has none of those side effects? If getting an abortion was easy, accessible, and affordable for everyone? At that point, would it still be fine for men to financially abort a living child? The answer is no, because there's a living kid who's suffering from the decision. Someone's got to help financially support them, and it can't be the gover…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 03:18 AM
1

Yeah, but modern dating dynamics? That's so heavily impacted by OLD and social changes that it's hard to draw firm conclusions over stuff from over five years ago. I mean, it's context-dependent, but certainly if you're gonna comment on frequency we should be working within the past few years. Small studies can be good and are sometimes unavoidable, but again, you have to be careful about drawing sweeping conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 02:37 AM
2

I don't know about the other women on here, but I tend to notice a lot of studies from the 2000s or earlier with small sample sizes, problems with the methodology, and unrepeated findings. Not every study, of course, but I seriously have to roll my eyes when I see a dude cite some study from 1978 about the frequency of infidelity and expect to translate those findings to today.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 02:19 AM
1

From what I understand, for many women penis size is one of the least important factors contributing to sexual satisfaction. A healthy respect for boundaries, the desire to pleasure their partner, a strong emphasis on foreplay, and a secure, confident mindset are all more important. We can see that for about a third of women the penis is irrelevant to sexual satisfaction. 34% of women reported that they usually orgasm purely through clitoral stimulation (as opposed to 6% who do so purely through…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 08:11 PM
13

So if "odds are" your explanation..... then yes, it is possible it just took her some time to figure it out? How exactly are you calculating these odds?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 07:16 PM
12

Isn't it possible it just takes her some time to figure out whether she likes you, long-term? This would explain the behavior, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 07:01 PM
5

Never heard this before but it sounds really interesting. Do you have a source on the topic? Would love to read more
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 12:25 PM
5

Whatever your stance on abortion, if you were fairly representing feminists you'd know that that is far and away considered to be the most important issue right now. Women in the US are facing real issues, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 12:21 PM
43

It's really hard to take anything like this as genuine because when you dig down into your comments, you don't just think following traditional gender roles is natural - you think it's superior. I believe it's absolutely natural. There is definitely a biological component to some traditionally gendered traits. But it's just as natural for some people to not follow those gendered traits, too. A trend is a trend, not a rule. What's best for you isn't best for everyone. I just find it deeply patron…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 03:04 AM
10

Such a shitty take when abortion rights are so salient right now. You're clearly in a bubble.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/22 02:49 AM
3

Thanks for your contribution 👌
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 05:03 PM
4

Do you have literally any evidence for this claim
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 04:51 PM
12

Not even about being easier. Just think about the number of straight men out there compared to the number of queer women. 90% of bi women being partnered with men makes a lot of sense if only about 5% of all people are queer.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 04:43 PM
3

Is it so strange to think that you could be special to them? That by the nature of who you are, and of the relationship you build together, you could be a unique and important part of their lives? I guess I just don't understand why, if you can't have the specific relationship between two people who have only slept with each other, that any long-term relationship is pointless.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 03:47 AM
2

It's not unfair to you if a woman does not have exactly the same life experience as you. She has no extra power over you, unless you give it to her. It's fair to want someone who's had the same experiences. But that doesn't mean you've been served some injustice if you don't get it. It's fair for me to want a million bucks, but that doesn't mean it's unfair if I don't get it. I will say you're not doing anything immoral? You just seem to be shooting yourself in the foot here. Why is someone's vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 03:30 AM
5

Uh, I guess you don't? You're the one who said you wanted a relationship. Lots of people want the opportunity to have a life partner, share a home, and build a family together, but if you don't want those things, you don't have to seek them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 03:18 AM
5

It's not unfair to want. It's also not unfair if it turns out you can't have it. But I think it's silly to limit your relationship pool so arbitrarily. Virgin and whore are not personality traits. You have no guarantees of anything based on how much sex someone has had. Why make your life harder by filtering out nonvirgins when you could live a long and happy life with one?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 03:08 AM
1

Also not on topic but that's actually a slight misinterpretation of the phrase! "Have" your cake in this case might be more clearly read as "keep" your cake. It doesn't mean "you can't get a cake and also expect to be able to eat it," it means "you can't continue to own a cake if you eat it." Common mistake!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 02:52 AM
15

If you think a woman having a lot of sex, because she wants to and she can, makes her ineligible as a partner, that's your own issues talking. Also, who's to say she was having a lot of sex with a lot of different people? Plenty of women enjoy having a lot of sex with a few long-term boyfriends. Sex is not all casual sex. It really seems like it's jealousy, more than anything. You want to have sex with a lot of women and you can't. It feels impossible to you that you could ever feel like an equa…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 02:07 AM
6

I do wonder how many modern dating issues are a result of more and more women wanting to be childfree. In the scenario you describe, a reliable father is the only need she can't meet. In the past women might've had to put up with some degree of poor behavior in order to pop out a kid and have support for parenting; now, they don't have to, so they can stay single unless and until they find a man who makes her want to stay. I can see how this could upset the general balance of urgency in relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 11:53 AM
1

But why is the solution to sexual inequality between men and women... to worsen the issue by shaming women (and only women) for having sex? Aren't we just feeding into inequality if we say that a woman's decision-making behavior must be compromised if she has casual sex? Why can't she evaluate the risks and take reasonable steps (condom use, BC) to prevent them?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 11:47 AM
0

It might not be exactly the same, but I still find it a little ridiculous to care that much in many cases. IMO the most egregious are when a dude is in a happy, healthy, long-term relationship, and finds out that his girlfriend had a lot of sex when she was younger. It wasn't something she hid, but it's something he's only finding out now, a few months in. And he absolutely tanks this perfectly fine relationship because he can't handle the idea that he's not giving her the best orgasms of her li…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 11:41 AM
3

Honestly I don't even think it's about weird sex - I think it's about sex that is supposed to be degrading or painful for a woman. I feel like there are definitely dudes out there whose porn preferences are tied to misogyny and resentment, and they aren't looking deeper to figure out how that's inherently unhealthy. I'm talking about the dudes who don't give a fuck about aftercare, or think safewords make it less "exciting," or find it appropriate to wax poetic about the ways in which they'd lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 05:36 AM
5

But for this to work, most childfree people should be born to parents (or have grandparents) who didn't really want to be pregnant. That's certainly possible, but do you have evidence to support that? How can we confidently say being childfree has a genetic basis?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 05:24 AM
1

How does this translate to relationships in which one partner is permanently incapable of "giving" as much in the relationship, such as with chronic illness or disability?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 05:19 AM
7

Why? What makes you say the desire to be childfree is mostly genetic? If anything, wouldn't the long history of people without kids dying out over the span of thousands of years imply that it is not a genetic trait? How do you explain the many childfree people who were born - were they all unwanted pregnancies?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 05:05 AM
0

How could you deduce that height was even the primary factor in their decision? Men in their PREFERRED height range were still rejected almost 70% of the time. If anything you've proven that height is in no way the most important factor in whether or not a woman rejects a man. It's significant, and gets more significant the shorter you are, but we have no way of knowing from this study what's impacting that baseline 70%.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 03:28 PM
9

That last part got me too lmfao! The projection is strong... just because being on here isn't healthy for YOU doesn't mean the rest of us have trauma. It's a debate sub, I go here when CMV is dry 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 12:07 PM
2

How do you meet men? Is it different from how you meet women? If you're using OLD, you get more of the general population. But if you're meeting people through friends, or in places you enjoy, or through communities related to your interests, you're more likely to find people who you can engage with in the way you want. This might contribute to the perception that women are shallower and men are deeper. Really, most people aren't gonna engage in the way you want - but the people who do communica…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 08:51 PM
6

Wondering if OP meant "doesn't ever want to have sexual experiences with men" in the context of a monogamous relationship with a woman? Like a bi man who is fine with never having sex with a man if he ends up in a monogamous relationship with a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 06:57 PM
4

Is it irrelevant? What exactly are we supposed to get from this discussion? Wouldn't we want to address the problem? We need to understand the root cause if we're going to address it, and that means understanding that this isn't a phenomenon specific to women - it's a product of the way we view men and women as a society. It's absolutely relevant to bring up how this harms bi men and women differently, and how homophobia differs between genders. But if we treat this as exclusively women's proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 03:46 AM
5

It's all well and good for someone to naturally want a partner to take the lead, but I don't think "submissiveness" is a trait anyone ought to work hard at if they want to be happy....
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 04:13 AM
5

So it's her fault he didn't listen? Because she didn't screen well enough?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 12:46 PM
6

EVERY time I hear a story about a dude who can't find the clit it is accompanied by her attempts to tell him where the F it is and him refusing to listen. Because, yeah, if it's genuinely just that he can't find it, it's a much less interesting story that is solved by guiding his hand to the right spot. I'm sure my anecdotes are not representative and there are definitely some women who say nothing, but there are also plenty of women who DO say something and aren't listened to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 12:08 PM
12

Because it isn't a huge female privilege. Most women don't do what you describe, because it isn't really that great unless you've got some unusual kinks. If most women did this then the "privilege" wouldn't exist. So how can you say that it really benefits most women?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 03:46 AM
3

femme lesbians have entered the chat
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 09:49 PM
12

Isn't it stranger to assume your tastes match everyone else's? I don't expect everyone else to love pineapple on pizza, the color pink, or frogs as much as I do. I like them a lot, but I also know liking things is subjective. No matter how much I love pineapple on pizza, I'd be delusional to say it's everyone's favorite. Why can't people be the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 04:13 PM
17

To anyone who describes femininity as childlike, vulnerable, submissive, or docile: do you understand why some women would reject traditional femininity?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 12:32 PM
1

They isolated a relevant distinction between words. Of course it's a semantic distinction - they're clarifying what they meant by a word they used. In a clinical environment, you describe "high-risk behavior," which is distinct from "self-harm."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 12:23 PM
4

Is this exclusive to femininity? Can a dude be masculine and care about himself & others?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 12:18 PM
1

I think women should pay on a date because if both of us sit around waiting for a man to cover our check we'll be waiting all night! Haha, but actually, I'm a firm believer in taking turns. It doesn't even have to be exactly 50/50. I'm pretty financially stable so I don't mind paying more often if that's how it ends up, but I would definitely get a little judgy if we've been out a few times and she's never reached for her wallet. Just a politeness thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 09:10 PM
1

I agree that if someone has this concern, clarifying beforehand is a pretty good way to be more certain that it won't happen. Definitely a dude should be doing this if he's really worried about a false accusation. But I also think OP is right that being extremely clear about it might not necessarily be smooth or easy. I could see a woman feeling uncomfortable with agreeing out loud that she's okay with only sex, or his delivery being shitty and it ends up making her feel objectified. Or they mig…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 01:03 PM
1

Nah, it's not his job to make sure her boundaries are clear. If he lies or chooses to ignore a clear signal that she's after a relationship, that's on him. But if she's not gonna bother to make sure they're on the same page it sure isn't his job to. Put another way: People who would really prefer a relationship but don't care enough to filter out people looking for casual sex before they sleep together don't really have any basis for complaint if they end up accidentally sleeping with someone lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 06:13 AM
8

If a man knows he just wants sex and knows a woman wants a relationship, I think it's wrong for him to sleep with her without being crystal clear that he just wants sex. If she still wants to believe she can change him or whatever that's her business, but he has some obligation to correct a misunderstanding if he sees it. If both parties are being vague about their intentions there's no issue. If he can honestly say he didn't know she was looking for anything more then he's fine. But if he saw t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 11:17 PM
6

Yeah, I guess I just disagree that women who say "be clear about your intentions" are trying to trap anyone. The women who care enough to clarify this are probably also the women who are clear about their own intentions before sex. They aren't assuming two people have said nothing about whether they want a relationship, and they find out their intentions don't match after sex; they're assuming a woman has been clear about what she wants and a man has been vague when he knows his intentions don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 11:07 PM
7

I think some of the pushback you're getting in this thread is just people misunderstanding your point. If it's important to a woman that she only have sex with relationship-minded people, I think it's important for her to clarify that beforehand (set that boundary). If she's okay with the risk of sleeping with a dude who's vague about his intentions that's her deal. Your post made me think of people who overtly lie about their intentions, or pretend like they might be open to a relationship when…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 10:31 PM
21

OP, are you saying that men aren't obligated to be honest about their intentions if women don't ask? Or are you saying it should be fine for men to lie about their intentions because they can't get sex without lying?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 10:17 PM
6

If a rich guy doesn't have to give me what I want (fancy car) then I don't have to give him what he wants (trust that I will not steal his fancy car). This is definitely a sensible outcome. Anyone who calls me an asshole for stealing his car is being unfair to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 08:54 PM
4

What if, and this is a big shocker, Billy might just not be able to get what he wants
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 08:32 PM
12

r/MenandFemales
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 12:33 PM
1

Right, but finding a woman attractive is different from walking up to her and making your intentions known. IMO by being the one who cold approaches, you're asking something of the other person. It's like someone who wants you to sign a petition coming up to you. You may or may not agree with what the petition wants, and it's the petitioner's job to find out if you do as quickly and easily as possible, because they are asking for your time. So in that sense, it would really suck if the petitione…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 12:30 PM
1

Rule of thumb I heard once and think is great: if there is something preventing them from physically running away from you, don't cold approach. That's people at their job, on the subway, doing their grocery shopping... anywhere where social or physical consequences would prevent them from leaving, because that means they need to keep you happy no matter how they really feel. I do think the creep factor for men approaching is a little overrated, though I think that's mainly a misunderstanding of…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/22 12:15 PM
1

Honestly, can't find any one way or the other. Purely anecdotal evidence based on the married couples I've seen. Just a lot of "household management" type jobs end up going to the wives, and that includes managing paperwork. But I also know a lot of women who work office jobs and married men who don't work office jobs, so that's a pretty big confounding variable. I do remember one anecdote when this topic came up a while back from someone who claimed to be a divorce lawyer and brought up this po…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 02:59 PM
2

Fair. I think if I were in her shoes I'd also just kind of want to know, even if I thought it was a long shot. Affects the way you'll be living. Plus, even if alimony isn't a thing, child support still might be.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 02:22 AM
-4

Right - I just mean that if she thinks there's a shot at alimony (or he thinks there's a chance he'll have to pay it), one of them is still more motivated to file than the other. In this sense it doesn't necessarily matter how often alimony actually happens; it matters whether the people involved think there's a chance it'll happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 02:15 AM
31

I mean, the "women initiate 70% of divorces" statistic gets tossed around a lot, but it's not really a straightforward thing. Most women tend to be responsible for things like paperwork in a relationship. Even if he cheats on her, that means she's the one who's filing. Women also probably have more motive to actually file, since custody agreements and alimony are tied to filing (and women are stereotypically the ones who benefit from those). It doesn't necessarily mean that women are the reason …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 01:46 AM
29

People like you are why we crap on people who say they want virgins. You can express a preference without insulting people, man.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 01:40 AM
5

That's honestly what I assumed you meant before looking through the comments, too. I think the second claim is just a lot less extreme, which makes it harder to argue against? You might have more of the conversation you're looking for if you talk about the prevalence of the issue, because you clearly do believe it's a substantial concern. I don't think anyone could successfully argue that zero men who say "less baggage" are predatory in the way you describe, and that kind of seems like that woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 11:21 AM
8

OP, a clarifying question, because I think there's been some misinterpretation in the comments. Are you saying all older men who go after younger women, when they do so specifically because they have "less baggage," are predatory? Or are you saying that a predatory man would use the excuse of "less baggage" when they really mean "baggage that means you don't say no to me"? So it's not everyone who says "less baggage," but it might be more than people realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 11:10 AM
24

You REALLY can't argue this at the same time as you argue homophobia doesn't really affect lesbian dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 12:38 AM
5

Okay, in fairness, anyone whose profile makes me laugh out loud is probably getting a swipe right. That zoomed-in profile sounds hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 09:26 PM
9

Maybe... I'm only looking at women, though. I get the vibe that it's just someone who's not really putting in a lot of effort. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 09:23 PM
52

No bio except "just ask." Literally why. Everyone here knows writing a bio sucks. You do it anyway because it is your only chance to make an impression. I do not give a crap how hot you are, if I see "just ask" for a bio I am swiping left. That conversation is going to be a one-sided interview, and it will be like pulling teeth.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 09:00 PM
3

Everyone else here is right then. You're gonna be real upset when you learn how many germs you come into contact with every day. Trust me, an acidic organ that flushes discharge on the daily is not the surface you need to be concerned about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:57 AM
3

I am saying from her perspective my guy. Those aren't her germs. Also you equate sperm to poop and vomit in your OP. You think she oughta be fine with putting your poop up there because it's "your germs"?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:49 AM
3

The thing you piss out of, sir. You piss out of it. How often do you reach in there and clean out the piss? You think there's not little piss particles in your semen? If you're so grossed out by sperm how the hell is it fair for you to put it Inside Of Her Body?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:45 AM
3

Brother if you expect a woman to be okay with putting the stick you piss with IN HER MOUTH and TASTING the stuff you're so grossed out by I think you can suffer through touching a self-cleaning organ.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 10:38 AM
17

Or, God forbid, could it be evidence that women don't solely consider someone's money and looks when looking for a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 12:18 AM
13

The answer to this question is literally always "she can do what she wants, and he can do what he wants." It is never your ethical imperative to have sex with someone, and it is never your ethical imperative to be in a relationship with someone. I think if Sarah is being honest with him and Mark is interested in building a life with her, he'd be pretty dumb to throw her out just because of her past. Though I think Sarah is silly to use marriage as the milestone for sex, since it would suck to fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 06:07 AM
1

Life tends to be easier with a good partner, especially if you want kids. There are plenty of asexual/low-drive women out there. It's just like any relationship, really. Friendships take work, and can sometimes be tumultuous, but I think very few people would say that you shouldn't make friends because of that. So if a relationship is something you're interested in I'd say it's worth trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 02:21 AM
8

I'm saying that you're misinterpreting her point. She's not arguing that all women be single or gay. She just wants women to know they don't have to put up with shitty men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 04:44 PM
9

Right, but no individual woman needs a man to be happy just because he's a man. Said another way - you are better off with no men than with shitty men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 04:40 PM
17

"influencing women to believe they don't need men" <- the mask is slipping, my man
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 04:18 PM
21

Only 6% of people say they'd like to eat cake every day. Therefore only 6% of people have eaten good cake
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:41 PM
2

I mean, it depends on what you mean by "really" think. There's the outer self, who gives all the bluster and arrogance, who has sex with hot guys and who believes she's just as hot because of that. But there's the internal self who struggles to love herself unconditionally. The more she struggles to love herself, the more she seeks external validation from others - her friends or men - to prove that she's actually hot and worthy and has no need for insecurity. As she is, she's not capable of rec…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:09 PM
6

Exactly. It's not that every bi man is a super masculine man, but it doesn't keep someone from being masculine at all. It's largely unrelated.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:20 PM
2

Do you believe it's impossible for an adult to be taken advantage of in a relationship? You seem to be suggesting that those women who were in relationships with older men are admitting they weren't fit to make decisions, which isn't what anyone is saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:18 PM
5

I don't know that it means they don't care about the man, or see him only as a trophy, though I would say it's only homo/biphobia that keeps them from being attracted to bi men. Nothing wrong with wanting a masculine partner, but if you can't respect any bi man as a masculine man, that's bigotry.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 09:12 PM
2

I would really encourage you to watch the Netflix series How to Build a Sex Room. They do a great job interacting with people who are invested in good sex (and not necessarily kinky sex!) from an unbiased, nonjudgmental perspective. I would be surprised if you walked away from that experience believing these couples weren't capable of respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 01:17 PM
4

It sounds like you're projecting your own hangups about sex onto others. Just because you think it's shameful to enjoy sex doesn't mean everyone does. Isn't it possible for those people who don't find it shameful to respect each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 01:02 PM
3

People aren't taking your post seriously because of this mindset, dude. Someone presented evidence that contradicted your theory and your response was "actually you're lying, because my entire premise falls apart if you're not." You're the only one coping here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 12:56 PM
1

Yes, but in that case as well, the people aren't happier doing missionary. The only way to save that relationship is if we can change her faulty belief that a respectable man cannot enjoy that kind of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 12:42 PM
2

All fair points! I loathe every day that we owe so much to Freud.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 12:39 PM
2

Most things like this would appear on a spectrum, yeah; it's rare that a belief like this could only exist in its most extreme states. What I am suggesting is that it is not inherently caused by the sex they're having, but rather a faulty belief that women can't be respectable and enjoy sex at the same time. If you have the same sex without the faulty belief, you wouldn't have a problem; if you have worse sex but maintain the faulty belief, you've still got marital issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 12:32 PM
3

Well, Freud was a pervert. We should take what he says with a grain of salt. This is maybe why OP should be considering the fact that he has reached the same conclusion Freud did.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 12:27 PM
9

What you're describing is a real phenomenon, and it's called the Madonna-Whore complex. Your mistake is thinking it's universal. But yes, men who struggle to maintain the idea of a respectable wife who also enjoys sex have lower relationship satisfaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 12:09 PM
0

I'd start with the fact that he doesn't just have to get hugs from a romantic partner? Hug the homies!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 06:53 PM
1

That is also true. I do agree with the underlying point at the end - "just be confident bro" is not helpful. The kind of work I'm talking about is long-term or lifetime effort for a lot of people, sometimes with the aid of a therapist. It isn't as simple as deciding to do it. I really just wanted to address the hopelessness in some of these comments. It isn't helpful to say "just be confident bro," but it isn't helpful to resign yourself to insecurity, either. The most important thing is to have…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 12:33 PM
9

This is what people don't get about confidence, though. It's not believing you're good at something - it's understanding that you'll be okay regardless of whether you're good at it. A dude who sucks at basketball and gets the opportunity to play one-on-one with LeBron is delusional if he thinks he's going to win. But if he goes in thinking, "Wow, what a cool experience, I hope he gives me some tips to improve afterward," he can walk out self-assured and happy even after he loses. If you tell the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 05:23 AM
3

Wondering if you just reposted this, or if this is an alt acct? In either case, I encourage those who agree with you to check out the responses to that post, and I'll reiterate what I said there. It is certainly easier to be confident when we get external validation - I don't think anyone would argue that. But it's definitely not the only source of confidence. Even people who receive endless validation can struggle with confidence (imposter syndrome), and even people who are endlessly told they …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/22 05:00 AM
5

You seemed to be suggesting that having a lot of sex inherently "shifts" someone's biology - I understood that to reference myths that the vagina is reshaped or damaged by sex, or unsubstantiated concepts such as "pair-bonding" in humans that would mean having a lot of sex makes it impossible for someone to maintain a monogamous relationship. If instead you meant that having a lot of sex with a lot of different people creates a pattern that, for some people, can lead to problems maintaining a mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 06:16 PM
5

"Expect their sexual biology to shift" - They don't expect that, and they shouldn't, because it never shifted in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 03:41 PM
16

If you're looking for marriage you should probably be considering factors other than age and attractiveness. The youngest, hottest, most insufferable woman who's willing to marry you is going to make you less happy than an average-looking woman about your age who actually loves you and who you actually love.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/22 03:18 PM
3

No one says "it's just a numbers game" to hot people? The numbers refer to the fact that somewhere out there are some number of people who would be right for you - you just have to interact with enough people to find them. One method of doing so would be to increase the number of people you interact with. That's the numbers game. It doesn't presume there are a lot of people who find you attractive - it presumes some number of people out there will. That is true for your average dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/22 05:36 PM
3

Do you see posts like that on this sub? I feel like I never do, but I tend to be biased toward women so I might just be tuning it out. I really feel like I see posts like this more frequently, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 09:31 PM
10

Any two people in a relationship have agency and choice. It is possible to be preyed upon, yes, but among consenting adults, both people had some degree of choice. Certainly if you can agree that most women in abusive relationships made choices that contributed to the dynamic, you can agree that men who are utilizing the services of a sex worker made choices that contributed to that dynamic, as well. "Thots" is a derogatory term. You'll find that in the definition, too. You do not have to degrad…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 01:02 PM
25

It would just be so much easier to take arguments like this seriously if it didn't have all this shaming language throughout it. The men you describe are "preyed on" by women, while the women "choose" those men "if they wish to settle." Men are "average and below average;" women are "older, fatter, and sluttier." You don't have to call women thots to make your point. Frankly, you don't talk very politely about men, either, but it is extremely clear that you think very little of women who have a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/22 11:40 AM
1

The same as my opinion of men who are overly aggressive, too muscular, and often demanding or domineering. Not a big fan. But I'm a big fan of women who are assertive, highly masculine, and muscular, who are not afraid to clearly ask for what they want, and take a leadership role.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/22 07:23 PM
2

Your beef is not with women, it is with a government that claims to fight for freedom and yet violates your basic right to autonomy. No one should be conscripted. Women didn't write those laws.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 12:46 PM
1

Missing some major aspects of male privilege. Perception - the presumption that men are competent in their jobs, that they are meant to make decisions and lead. But when it's convenient, men can also be incompetent - useless at doing chores, keeping track of commitments, and incapable of controlling their urges. Incompetence in these areas is excused as "man behavior" and has no impact on an implicit role as head of household, if they choose to fill it. Medical privilege - Men - abled, cisgender…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 09:24 AM
2

"For some they would be able to, but for the vast majority it's a lost cause." <- what I was referencing. I do agree it's challenging - I didn't mean to imply it wasn't. But acknowledging that something is challenging is useful only so far as it keeps you from blaming yourself for having difficulty - once you start hitting the doom and gloom of "this is probably impossible for me to achieve," you need to shift your focus to figuring out actionable steps to improve your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 11:14 PM
0

I disagree that confidence is a lost cause for the "vast majority" of ugly guys. Cold approaching women in public is not the only factor that affects someone's confidence. This is part of why people suggest getting a hobby or a passion - it lets you build on something that you can be proud of. That confidence can absolutely translate to the dating world. For people who aren't born with looks or personality that all but ensure them interest from the people they're interested in, you have to come …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 05:59 PM
16

If you're talking about a dating profile, one of the primary purposes of the profile is to convey some personality. An average-looking dude can still struggle to get matches if his profile sucks, and his chances can improve is he improves the profile. As for out in the world, you can still draw conclusions about a man based on how he dresses, how he talks to others, what he's doing.... it may not even be that he has a bad personality, there just might be nothing in particular to draw someone in …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 05:41 PM
1

I'm in a workplace that's almost entirely women. It's great - they're the best bosses I've ever had. Clear, straightforward communication about any issues, and a generally uplifting environment where we all try to support each other. The few dudes who work there are the same way. I don't think it's a gendered thing - I think the environment is good because most of us are (good) social workers, who actually give a shit about one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 04:03 AM
7

Everyone's a lesbian now. It's equality
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 08:55 PM
1

If this gets deleted you should throw this up on r/ChangeMyView - I think it'd fit there. I think any leftist would agree with you that women are more likely to be nurses than men are. What they're suggesting is that a man being a nurse should be acceptable. It shouldn't be treated like a hit to his masculinity. It shouldn't really say much of anything about him, except that he's a nurse. The way you go about this is where people conflict, but some people believe that a way to accomplish this is…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 12:02 PM
1

Because designing public policy around what makes you horniest is a terrible idea?????
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 11:09 AM
7

Being responsible for their own needs ≠ being at fault when bad things happen to them. It's easier to think that you're in control of what happens to you than it is to recognize that in a different life situation with different resources you might choose to stay with someone abusive. What if you'd lose your home? Lose your kids? What if you'd risk being accused of being an abuser yourself? What if everyone around you was calling you a liar? What if you believed leaving meant you'd never find lov…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 02:35 AM
10

Is there space in this view for exceptions to the rule? Like is this meant as "most women on average are attracted to power in various forms" or as "all women are biologically hard-wired to be attracted to power"?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 02:02 AM
8

This is exactly the kind of talk that leads to underreporting.... just because you'd have the resources, experience, and physical safety to leave doesn't mean everyone would.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 01:15 AM
7

Men's DV is one of the reasons I'm glad I use this sub - it opened my eyes about what a huge issue underreporting is, and how prevalent and normal it is to see a woman hitting a man and assume he's in the wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:39 PM
10

Yeah, as a lesbian, online discussions about "fetishization" or "objectification" also frequently get dicey. There are times when queer people online start feeling ashamed of just being attracted to a woman, because thinking someone is sexy has been treated as equivalent to treating them like a sex object. I honestly hadn't thought about how similar discussions would affect men, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:34 PM
29

I like this question! I think the big one I see is the body-shaming, which women do a lot of. It shouldn't be seen as woke or transgressive to make fun of a dude's height or his dick size, but in some contexts, I think that it is. Sure, it often happens directly to shitty men who suck, but any dude can hear it and internalize it. It sucks that it's so normalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:22 PM
1

A teenager in your class can't accurately assess you as a person. They see you only in your role as a teacher, they can only fantasize about being your equal, and their options of adult men in their life to compare you to are much more limited at that age. They are not the same as an adult woman who knows you in real life. Honestly, I agree with your overall point - I think everyone's less picky in real life than online. But you would need to compare adult women in real life to adult women onlin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 08:01 PM
3

Haha holy shit
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 07:49 PM
2

Honestly I don't know that rating students' attractiveness, for the point he was trying to make, is any weirder because of their age - I always find it pretty off-putting when people give ratings to specific, real people in their lives. (Editing to add: I do think it is weirder to do so for students in your class, though. Not because of their age but because of the role you have. This would be a very creepy post for one of your students to read and frankly OP should be a lot more careful with wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 07:47 PM
7

The reason it'd be creepy for you, as a teacher, to hook up with your 17-19 year old students is, in part, because your age and the power you have creates an imbalanced relationship. It can be fun for a teenager to fantasize about a relationship like this because it's fantasizing about being seen as an adult, as an equal, by someone who is definitely not their equal. What I'm saying is: the hot girls in your class being attracted to you has very little to do with how they see men in real life an…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 07:10 PM
5

Frankly the fact that they have the language to explain & recognize that their boundaries were trampled is actually a sign of success? Both men & women can stomp all over boundaries, but you rarely see men talk about it, especially with that language. If women are talking more about times when their boundaries were crossed it could be a sign that women generally feel more comfortable using that language to describe the experience - because doing so is no longer seen as being in conflict with the…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 01:39 AM
12

I don't have numbers or anything to support this, but I could see how women could be better communicators on average simply because there's been more specific focus on ensuring women communicate & feel safe to communicate better, specifically when it comes to maintaining boundaries. The trend, stereotypically, would be for women to let their boundaries be trampled because it is more important to make other people happy than it is to be happy yourself, while men would let their boundaries be tram…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 01:28 AM
8

It's difficult to say anything about how often this happens because it's very possible you've been around men for whom this is the case - I think there are definitely plenty of times when women make excuses for men who just don't care. But I think there are also plenty of times when men really are just genuinely bad communicators; one I've seen frequently are men who bury their feelings and let their boundaries get stepped on, and let that resentment grow until it comes out as anger rather than …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 09:19 PM
6

This is what I'm always saying on this freakin sub. Preferences are a combination of biological and SOCIAL factors - just because something makes you feel horny or disgusted doesn't mean we can just throw up our hands and say well, guess it's biology. You are capable of exploring why you have certain reactions to certain traits!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/22 10:46 AM
1

Is the OP not talking about people who say they do those things for themselves??
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 10:07 PM
1

Self-esteem is a complicated thing, but I think the gist of what people mean when they say that is, "I don't care if you think I look overdone, I don't care if you think I look sexier without makeup, I look this way because I want to look this way." Basically, they're saying that what matters to them is that they look in the mirror and think, "I like what I see." What they like is probably influenced by social norms of what women should look like, which is influenced by what men find sexy, so th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 08:54 PM
0

If you're treating her as a unique and intrinsically valuable person, you're not objectifying her. That's the whole point of the word - treating someone like an object, rather than a person. It's not objectification to wife someone up because of their looks - it might be shallow, but that's not objectification.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 12:58 PM
1

I don't think all of online dating is fetishization - you're talking about visual attraction, which is normal and fine. But I actually think you have a point specifically with women who say things like "I only date men over 6ft," and actually follow that pretty strictly. 6ft dudes online have talked about interacting with these types and feeling gross about it for a lot of the reasons people in this discussion have felt about racial fetishization (though of course it's less severe). It feels lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 12:51 PM
6

Isn't the way you're defining these terms pushing us to pick option 3? You literally say she likes "everything about you," both emotionally (option 1) and physically (option 2). If you're asking which is the ultimate form of attraction, wouldn't the answer always be "all of the above"?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 03:07 AM
-1

Saying something transphobic to prove you're not transphobic, good job 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 07:35 PM
13

A lot of what you've covered can be explained by the fact that "bluepill" isn't a real movement. The BP subreddit is satire that makes fun of RP. Bluepill isn't an alternative strategy - it is by definition made up of the people who have heard of redpill and disagree with it. That's all they have in common. There's no coherent strategy because that isn't what connects bluepill together, which is different from the way redpill dating strategy connects redpill folks. Basically: Yeah, BP doesn't ne…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 06:59 PM
-1

A therapist/client dynamic is one-sided. One person is being paid to not bring their baggage into the relationship. The other person is the focus of the partnership - their issues are important, the therapist's are not. This is what we mean when we say women aren't your therapists. Some men enter a relationship with a (usually unintentional) tendency to rely wholly on their partners for all emotional support - they haven't developed emotionally-supportive relationships in their own social circle…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/22 12:35 PM
2

I think you'd get along great with this group of free-thinkers. Haha, but for real. It is possible to consult scientific evidence and also not be a sheeple (sherson?). What you've got is a great jumping-off point to find or even develop further research, but you're not saying facts. You have a guess about how all women work, based solely on your own life experience. You're allowed to have a guess. Just make sure you treat it like a guess. I couldn't even find evidence of a special "bond" forming…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 10:22 PM
3

"I don't believe it based on some ""evidence"" or ""facts"", I believe it based on my own biased perception of one or two events"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 09:34 PM
1

^ example of how internal bias can impact attraction. Lack of attraction is one thing.... being disgusted, especially if your logical mind can accept something is fine, is an indication of bias. You don't have to date anyone you don't want to.... but this reaction to a woman who's had more sex than you is unusual and worth examining. What makes her disgusting? What's different about her? Does it apply to just this woman, or does it apply to anyone "experienced"? What would have happened if you w…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 09:26 PM
1

I used my own experience to demonstrate why anecdotal evidence is so limited. Just because I don't know women who cheat on their partners doesn't mean it never happens. If I tried to say that because I don't know cheaters, no women cheat, that would be wrong. In the same way, your experience is limited. You do not know a random sample of women. I have absolutely no doubts that you know some heinous women doing some heinous shit. But you knowing shitty women doesn't mean all women are shitty. Eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 02:22 PM
1

Breaking: Women Don't Appreciate Being Called Evil Have you ever thought that maybe women are citing their own lived experience as a normal woman when they say it's impossible that "women's nature" is inherently evil? You just expect all women to say, yeah, I guess my nature is naturally selfish and horrible, good talk? I mean, OP wasn't even SAYING evil. OP said "most women do x." When you say anything about most women, it is really important to think about why you believe it's most women. Is i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 10:58 PM
2

"Life experiences" are what we in the business call "anecdotal data." One man's experience with women might make his position understandable, but it doesn't make it true.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 06:50 PM
2

Sorry you don't like your girlfriend? Lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 03:15 PM
1

Is there any evidence to suggest that a weakening of Earth's magnetic field is tied to anxiety? You cite a spike in anxiety over a ten-year period as evidence that a process happening over a 200-year period is the cause. Something else happened in those ten years... the iPhone 1 released in 2007. Wouldn't the documented effects of isolation and excessive social media usage be a more likely culprit for a spike in anxiety?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 01:35 AM
4

Neato
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:42 PM
10

What makes you believe this?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 05:24 PM
3

God I just want to see one woman make a post saying 'I'll only date men over 6'2".' Yeah, no one on PPD would bat an eye at that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/22 01:57 AM
11

Women don't say "men will fuck anything" when they see an ugly girl with a hot guy. They say "men will fuck anything" when they get a copy-pasted compliment on Tinder followed by a dick pic. It's a way of recognizing that a sexual compliment from a man usually indicates absolutely nothing about how they feel about you romantically, or how much they respect you as a person. "Men will fuck anything, so if you want a relationship, make sure he likes you and respects you, too."
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/22 02:03 PM
2

It's also an allowable conclusion that women's selection criteria are understandable? This whole "women just like drama" thing goes to the other extreme of dismissing their choices as Woman Nonsense. It's possible for their choices to be morally neutral.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 01:50 AM
14

Honestly I think clear communication skills should just be taught more in school, period. Both genders would benefit. Women really aren't mind-readers; we're taught to be polite and speak indirectly, so we might recognize what someone is implying more easily than a direct person would, but I think just as often we're projecting our experience onto someone else. We can recognize indirect communication is happening, but that doesn't always lead to clearer communication. Knowing how to speak direct…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 01:15 PM
1

That's my point - there's a reason they aren't having sex. If she has a low libido, just forcing herself to have sex she doesn't want isn't a long-term solution. That doesn't respect her needs. On the other hand, just having almost no sex doesn't respect his needs, either. Some kind of solution needs to be reached, and the first step is recognizing what's causing that lower libido. Is it emotional - does she feel like she can't trust or rely on him? Does she, as was the case for OP, need therapy…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 12:55 PM
13

I think people on this post are operating with two different connotations of the word "expected." Sex should be expected, in the sense that it's respected as a mutual need, and that having too little sex is seen by both parties as a problem that needs to be addressed. A sex life needs to be maintained in the sense that it sometimes takes work to keep it healthy. Sex should not be expected, in the sense that neither party should be pressured to have sex they don't want in order to meet the minimu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 10:39 PM
12

I disagree that he should "just get over it," but I also don't think that it's fair to suggest that she "just get over it" and have sex she doesn't want, either - which is an implication I feel I see a lot. There's this tone to these discussions, sometimes, that suggests her not wanting sex is in some way her problem that she needs to deal with, rather than a product of the relationship dynamics that can't be fixed by one person alone. It would be more productive for both partners to respect eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/22 06:42 PM
12

The thing is, if you do it right, improvements to your chances in the dating world also lead to improvements in your general life. The whole idea is to become a better person, or at least show off a better side of yourself to the world. That's positive change even if it ultimately doesn't lead to a long-term relationship. If improving your chances in the dating world requires making significant sacrifices to your general life - having an eating disorder, going to bars as a recovering alcoholic, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/22 09:21 PM
1

The woman you describe is burnt out. It's not sustainable for her, but she's still doing it because she feels like she'd have to end the relationship in order to ease her workload. There is a third option, in which she talks to her husband about how she's feeling and he takes on some of the work. But she doesn't feel like that's an option. This is because he (intentionally or not) is manipulating her whenever she brings the topic up - making her believe he is really that incapable, half-assing a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 12:23 PM
9

I mean, if you really don't care about respecting your partner or acting as equals, the answer is emotional manipulation?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 05:25 AM
2

Just gonna put these links in my pocket for every time someone says "every college aged woman is fucking 80 guys a year"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 12:29 PM
1

Love the idea (point 6) that according to How Nature Works, having more kids will make us.... move down the food chain? Are we going to start having natural predators because the Wicked Poors dare to procreate? The tigers are gonna get us because people you don't like are having children? Also, a century ago is such a hilarious period of time to pull if you're in the US. Really? The Roaring 20s is your example of a shining society where everything is moving the direction you want it to? That was…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 06:46 AM
4

Always important to remember that if a bi woman is equally attracted to men and women, she's most likely to end up with a man, simply because the pool of straight & bisexual men is so much larger than the pool of gay & bisexual women. Seeing most bi women end up with men most of the time does not indicate that they're "fake," it just means that they're more likely to come across men in a dating context.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/22 04:22 PM
5

Right, but it's not just about the dude? It's not just about what he "gets" out of the relationship. Sex isn't a gift you give to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/22 03:01 PM
–

"Isn't it crazy that I care about this woman even though I have hotter women I'm fucking? Anyway, can't understand why she doesn't want to be with me." Dude, if you can't understand why you caught feelings for a woman on the basis of something other than her looks, this might be contributing to her lack of interest. It doesn't exactly scream "I'm a great long-term option who cares about you as a person." Assuming she was looking for something long-term, this kind of mindset would be noticeable a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/22 05:10 AM
3

When I've heard people say things to the effect of "man wants to have sex with female friend, this makes her think he never gave a shit about being her friend," there's a step in the middle that you haven't addressed - a part where he reveals how he feels, she says no, and he reacts poorly in some way, often by distancing himself from her without explanation. If you don't have that bad reaction where you basically throw away the friendship, then I think you're a lot less likely to get the "this …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 08:35 PM
1

I would say it's difficult to extrapolate this to free users. Why would someone who doesn't care about height bother paying for the privilege of filtering people out?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/22 11:29 PM
1

Are you asking me if more people believing that sleeping with men makes you less masculine..... leads to more people believing sleeping with men makes you less masculine?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/22 06:45 PM
1

Because it plays into a stereotype that gay men are naturally effeminate? Because it causes queer men to have to choose between being with men and being seen as a man? Because it's unhealthy for a man to need to fuck women to be seen as a "real" man? Because you can be plenty masculine and also want to have sex with other men, and it's shitty to suggest that can't be true?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 07:31 PM
1

I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear. Sexual preferences have no inherent morality. They're not an active choice; it's a reaction. We have limited control over our reactions. It's not productive or helpful to wallow in guilt over a reaction. Sexual preferences are impacted by the biases ingrained in us by the social environment. Therefore, discrimination in our sexual preferences could indicate the presence of bias. The more overt and firm we are in our discrimination (eg "I just haven't seen…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 03:39 PM
3

No, not finding someone attractive doesn't mean you're also calling them stupid or dirty. But if you can acknowledge that someone should examine their tendency to cross the street if they see a black man, we can use that as an example. You can argue that they cannot control their fear response in the moment, and they shouldn't be training themselves to ignore their gut in potentially-dangerous situations. But that person has some responsibility to examine why that fear response is showing up in …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:15 PM
3

Bisexual ≠ homosexual, and preferences don't exist in a vacuum - they are impacted by the social environment. So if your preferences are indistinguishable from someone who's intentionally racist and quiet about it, it's worth examining if racist ideas have unintentionally impacted those preferences. The alternative would be to suggest that racism doesn't exist, or that we as humans are unaware of social norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 01:01 PM
10

The social environment and our perceptions of what others are associated with absolutely does impact attraction. Why might someone be attracted to a man in a suit but turned off by that same man in a skirt? Why did men wear heels in the 1700s but only women do today? Why would someone from a culture where women don't wear bras or tops not be titillated by a topless beach? Our perceptions of whether a person is smart or dumb, clean or dirty, loud or quiet, safe or dangerous all impact attraction.…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:42 PM
3

Agreed - you shouldn't be pressured into sleeping with anyone you don't want to, for any reason, even if those reasons are bi/homophobic. It's never wrong to say no or enforce your boundaries. However, it is wrong to say that bi men will inevitably cheat, that it's disgusting for a man to have sex with men, or that it makes a man less masculine if he's attracted to men. And it is always worth examining why you believe what you believe, ESPECIALLY when you can't identify the reason why. That goes…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/22 12:30 PM
1

So....... it's not that women in particular are cruel, then, it's just that people are?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 04:35 PM
1

Okay, so just to be clear: attractive women are unusually cruel because they have it easy in the world. And unattractive women are unusually cruel because they have it harder in the world. It kind of seems like your idea of cruelty isn't tied to how easy or difficult someone has it, it's just tied to the fact that they're a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:52 PM
4

Now that's the issue at hand. She's treating you shitty. Resenting people who treat you like shit is normal. Isn't it possible that the women you're dating are just going through this same experience, too? They've been treated like crap by men in the past, so they test you and assume you're shitty, too. They end up resenting men as a whole because they were treated poorly, which leads to them hurting men before they can be hurt. It doesn't excuse the behavior, but it might help explain it. And i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 05:26 AM
14

What I'm saying is that even when you are in the context of dating, the women you're dating are people. They struggled in math class and banged their head against the wall trying to read classic literature. They got scolded by their parents. They had a loved one pass away. They jumped too high off a swing and twisted their ankle. They stubbed their toe, stepped on a Lego, got brain freeze from a slushie. There were times in their life when they felt humiliated, times when they felt terrified, ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 03:51 AM
22

Really encourage you to start valuing men and women outside of the context of dating. Men and women are more similar than they are different, and at our core we're all people. You can't look at a person and know what they've gone through to become who they are, and you can't universally say that most women just coasted through life to get where they are. That's just not true for the vast majority of people, regardless of gender. But seriously. Try to get to know women outside the context of dati…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/22 02:48 AM
5

This encapsulates what I think is really cruel about all the redpill talking points regarding women. You talk about the choice to have and enjoy a lot of sex as if it's a "mistake," it's "stupid," that she's "used up," that a lot of sex in a woman's past is "repulsive." You're allowed to not want to be with someone who's had a lot of sexual partners. You're allowed to want to be with someone who consistently sees sex and relationships similarly to you. But it's rude to talk about people the way …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 09:23 PM
4

I think maybe the reason for the "firm belief of many women that they have been threatened with sexual attacks" would be because many women in 1903 were threatened with sexual attacks. Also, Marie Curie won the Nobel Prize in Physics the same year this book came out, so I'm not sure what he's going on about no woman making significant achievements in science. And frankly, any assertion about women's relative lack of achievements that ignores the fact that reliable birth control and safe abortion…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/22 08:03 PM
10

To preface, I'm a lesbian, and I have a girlfriend now. It's dope haha. But a couple months ago I didn't. I was in my mid-20s and hadn't kissed anyone since I was 15. I committed the mortal sin of being fat (US women's 20, so overweight or obese, whatever that means to you). I had absolutely zero luck on dating apps in college - I could count my matches on one hand, and I never went on a date. After I graduated I was living with my parents for a year and getting into my first real job, so I didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 11:30 PM
2

Fair point on finding a quote, though in this context it's talking about changing harmful male behavior... it could've been worded more carefully but I can't see how it expresses hatred for men. But to your last point.... they fixate on murderers being men because feminists tend to discuss gender disparities. Like..... the gender side of issues is... what feminism is there for. And it's really hard to argue that there's no gendered aspect to violence. Men are much more likely to perpetrate viole…
/r/AntiFeminists08/07/22 11:57 AM
0

To your first point I'm honestly not sure where you're seeing progressives fail to acknowledging fearmongering of black men. I've seen it consistently brought up every time a black man murdered by the police gets attention, as well as in discussions of the school-to-prison pipeline and even black single motherhood. Frankly I think for many of the discussions you're looking to have about men as a group, you could see discussions about black men. I'm not going to argue with you on male vs female v…
/r/AntiFeminists08/07/22 11:44 AM
-5

Well, your first point isn't a great example because it's not true. White murder victims are overwhelmingly killed by white perpetrators, just as black victims tend to be killed by black perpetrators - violence is generally intra-racial. People are sensitive to an example like that because it's an excuse used pretty frequently, historically, to justify unfounded hatred & fear of black people. So I can see what you're trying to say but I think it's not a fair comparison. As far as I know, no matt…
/r/AntiFeminists08/07/22 03:18 AM
-9

Disclaimer, I'm a feminist who lurks on this sub. I encourage you to really reread that article carefully. Did they say they hate men, or did they say they hate male violence? The two are not synonymous, and the author never claimed that they were. Violence against women is disproportionally committed by men. Violence against MEN is disproportionately committed by men. Isn't it worth acknowledging and investigating that disparity? Isn't it worth giving it a name? And if you reread that article, …
/r/AntiFeminists08/07/22 12:34 AM
1

One could also say that men do it more often because there is an accepted personality of the "idiot husband," or weaponized incompetence. It's considered normal and acceptable for men not to know how to do housework, raise children, or otherwise take care of themselves and others, so to ask them to do so is overstepping their boundaries. "I can't do it" or "You do it better" is used as a way to skirt accountability and responsibility in a relationship. Women don't have this fall-back luxury of "…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 06:17 PM
4

You will probably get a wide variety of answers here. Some will say women always do this. Some will say they rarely do. Some will say men do this more often. Some will say it's an even mix. The fact is the behavior you're describing is something people of both genders are capable of doing. They will both do it sometimes. Your perception of how often will depend on your environment, your experiences, your age, the type of women you seek, the type of men you seek, the type of relationships you see…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 03:54 PM
27

I do see a lot of complaints by men on this sub. If what you're saying is true - that this is constantly repeated in response to valid complaints - providing some examples would really strengthen your point. You could even just go through, say, the last ten posts on this sub that are valid complaints by men, and include the title of the post and a link to the comment saying "women don't owe you sex" or similar, when it exists. Personally, I think you'd find that this is selection bias on your pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 06:33 PM
8

Whenever I see TRP talk about marriage, it's not about financially supporting an agreeable woman.... it's about giving up on the institution entirely, because the former goal is seen as impossible to achieve. That could be selection bias on my part, though. In any case that's what makes me believe these are two groups who end up dating each other - and ultimately just make each other more jaded. FDS is about finding HVM who are willing to commit. TRP is about becoming a HVM without committing. F…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 11:47 AM
5

I actually looked for studies for a bit on this topic. It was a brief search, but I couldn't find any that discussed how many women indicate wanting to be stay-at-home moms. Do you have a source for this?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:41 PM
2

People don't have a specific value universal to everyone they come in contact with. We're not a gallon of milk at the supermarket; all of us have more to offer to some than others, and cost more to some than others. You're also talking specifically about dating value. Women can and do value things beyond just their attractiveness to a potential partner. School, work, and other aspects of their life may take priority. The shame associated with being fat is also hard to shake; it makes it feel mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 07:32 PM
2

I'm assuming from the phrasing of the question that he is indeed radicalized - believes AWALT, engaging in manipulative behaviors, holds not incel-hate for women but just generally dismissive, derogatory opinions of them. In which case I have no doubt his life has improved, but he's still acting immorally. I'd suggest he try keeping the beneficial aspects of redpill (self-improvement, confidence, lack of desperation) while ditching the dismissiveness toward women. I'd argue there are theories th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 12:27 AM
2

Sorry.... one married woman downloads tinder and it means all men should treat any woman who's downloaded the app like she's diseased? A sample size of one is (shockingly) too small to draw sweeping conclusions like this, and anecdotal evidence of women feeling addicted to tinder is meaningless. Should we return to Prohibition since people can become alcoholics?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/22 12:43 PM
8

In all of your comments, you describe really defensive responses from the girlfriend. If you're starting from the place you describe in your post - attempting to control her, telling her to stop - a defensive response makes sense. Because you feel insecure about her going out, you assume she is doing something wrong and assign the responsibility to her to change. But if she isn't doing anything wrong out there, she's just been accused of cheating. She's gonna get defensive, because any other res…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 12:03 PM
18

"For every normal guy there are hordes of desperate souls eating up and encouraging this behavior" Okay, so for every guy who finds this off-putting, there are more for whom it has no impact on their attraction. Wouldn't this mean... that's the normal reaction? How are we defining "normal" if not by "the reaction most people have"? And how, again, are there hordes of men who accept this for every man who doesn't.... if most men also agree with you?? They can't both be true. If you've misjudged t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 10:42 PM
1

As someone strongly against RP bs......... this is literally nothing, it could just as easily be an inside joke or the awkward content of the question causing that tension. You can't just say someone's bad at social skills when they can't see a joke about breath spray between two actors who kissed onscreen as irrefutable proof that they had an affair.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/22 02:34 AM
8

I feel like you think what you've written here isn't still... very sexist, just because you're saying that men love women. You talk about how men accomplished so much while simultaneously ignoring the many, many women who also contributed to these achievements. Just to take your own example, Margaret Hamilton) led a team to create the software that put man on the moon, and I know we all remember Katherine Johnson from Hidden Figures. That's off the dome about cool women who brought humanity to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 05:42 AM
3

I mean, this is in one specific context - providing emotional comfort. Given that men are taught to suppress their emotions and lean on women for emotional support, I think it would be beneficial if more guys were taught emotional awareness & empathy. Allows them to meet those needs independent of having a woman in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 09:36 PM
2

Couldn't you say this about any form of self-improvement? Men who work out feel like the women they date should be fit. Men who dress well feel like the women they date should too. Women who put the effort of makeup into their appearance feel like the men they date should put effort into THEIR appearance. (Generally, of course. Not always.) If you're going to interpret this urge as a need to be better than your partner, then you should at least do it equally. But honestly, I personally think mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 12:38 PM
8

Jesus Christ that was satisfying to read
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/22 12:19 PM
2

Lesbian with lots of female friends, most of whom are queer. Have I ever thought about it? Yeah. Enough to get in the way of our friendship? Nope. Just because it's theoretically possible that in some universe you could see yourself with a person doesn't mean you can't be friends. You can just... enjoy being friends with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 10:40 PM
1

If a woman doesn't have a right to her bodily autonomy regarding her pregnancy, that's a separate conversation about abortion. If you're suggesting we just make it so men AND women don't have that choice, just to make sure it's all equal despite technological advances, I think that's a shortsighted way to define policy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 06:52 PM
1

It is unfair. It's an unfairness that skewed in the favor of men for a long, long time - if both parents wanted a child, one parent had to sign up for a lot more work. That's how it was. If a woman wanted to back out of a pregnancy, she didn't have a choice to safely terminate it. That's how it was. Now, it's skewed the other direction. It is her body - it is impossible for the fetus to live independently without violating her bodily autonomy, so it's her body. She has a choice in what she does …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 03:21 PM
3

Okay you really don't seem to want to hear the point I'm trying to make here. Please look at the OP again and look at those specific examples. Did any of those women shame the men they were talking about? Did any of those women say they wanted him to look different or be different? Did any of those women insult him? Or let me put it another way. "My husband is short. I was used to dating tall guys, but my husband had other traits I value more, and I wouldn't trade him for anyone. The fact that h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 07:24 PM
6

What you're talking about is bad. I'm not arguing that. But the OP was talking about instance where women were ASKED the direct question about their SO and they gave an honest answer. Not musing unprompted about how they wish he had a bigger dick - just STATING that it's not some ten inch monster or whatever, WHEN ASKED. You're conflating the two, but they're different.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 06:41 PM
5

You are assigning this idea that these women are reminiscing on previous partners and wishing that her current partner looked different. THAT is a problem regardless of gender, and of course it does happen. I'd even venture a guess that women could do it more often than men do, though I have no idea what the numbers really look like. But a woman ACKNOWLEDGING WHEN ASKED that her husband is not objectively the hottest man this side of the Mississippi - not stating that she wished he was, or that …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 06:09 PM
4

Men: Women only care about appearances, you have to be Chad to even have a chance at making a girl feel attracted to you Women: Actually, my husband's personality is what win me over more than his looks. That's more important to me than getting the most physically attractive man - getting the man who is most attractive overall. Physical appearance isn't everything to women's attraction. Men: This is a liar, you settled for your husband because Chad wouldn't commit. It's impossible for me to imag…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/22 05:32 PM
1

It's not about what you deserve. It's not about fairness. It's about what each party wants and what they're willing to give up. If someone feels like they're getting the short end of the stick, that sucks, but it's not on the world or on their partner to change for them. Getting whatever the "male equivalent" of a fat donk is (which personally, I would say is a fat donk) doesn't mean you deserve a partner with one - it just means you're more likely to get one than you were before. People are sen…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 08:48 PM
2

can i get a round of applause for tiddies though... just their existence 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 04:37 AM
4

As a lesbian........ these statements aren't universal lmao. I definitely used to think this way, but the fact is that men and women are more alike than they are different. Women can be assholes who objectify other women, and men can genuinely love and respect women while being attracted to them. Ignoring that nuance does both groups a disservice.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 04:30 AM
5

Not a gay man, but as I understand it their experiences with men's attraction to them mirrors straight women's experiences - I don't think that "they have a biological motive" really explains the difference. I think it's probably a lot simpler... People who go on testosterone often find themselves a lot hornier than they were before starting it. I would bet it's largely just a hormonal thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/22 04:23 AM
0

Sorry, I made an assumption. Someone who's staying only because a better option hasn't come along, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 07:52 PM
7

In defense of the orange, I've never seen one rape anybody.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 07:48 PM
0

It's absolutely a problem if one person in a long-term relationship just wishes the other person were someone else. But I worry that that's an insecurity you're projecting onto someone, not what's necessarily really there. Looking at someone's sexual history and deciding that because you think so-and-so is hotter, she's the one who's going to be obsessing over him? That's not fair, and it's not realistic. For a long term relationship, there needs to be a mutual trust that the other person would …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 07:34 PM
8

Places and contexts where carrying a gun is not allowed do exist. Reasons to choose not to carry might not also be "petty ideological" ones - there are real safety concerns about walking around armed, especially in a dating context. Plenty of opportunities for someone to get close enough to turn that weapon against you. And accidents can always happen, especially for someone with children. Not to mention there are some people much more likely to be seen as a threat if they carry a gun than other…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 07:30 AM
1

Yeah, that's where the difference here might be... Can't relate to that feeling of accomplishment at all. Definitely feels like that urge could be where some competitive ideas about sex come from? Like that men having a higher body count is better - but women who make it "easy" for other men and have a high body count themselves are valued lower, since they are "low hanging fruit"...it serves as a way to delegitimize the body counts of other men? And could also explain aggression toward women wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 06:24 PM
0

In the context of this post, it's talking about sex being a reward and, conversely, WITHHOLDING sex being a punishment. There's intention implied there that doesn't exist. If you see withholding sex as a punishment, then you're going to resent whoever's "punishing" you. Like, I think we might be running into a semantic difference here. I'm using reward to mean "a good thing promised to someone," either as a transaction or as motivation. I think you might just be using it to mean "something good …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 05:18 PM
0

Well, that's just it. It's okay to see the work you do as a reward from your boss because that's literally a transaction. Your boss sees it as a transaction just as much as you do. If you see having sex as a "reward," then you're viewing your relationship with her as a transaction. That is okay if this is mutual - i.e., she also just wants casual sex from the encounter. But if you see it as a reward while she sees it as a next step, as a sign of intimacy? If it turns out you're only being kind o…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 03:49 PM
1

That comment you quoted is really intriguing. Is this really how it is for men?? I feel like I'd be fucked in the head if I had to view sex this way. Like, in order to get off, you have to feel like you've hurt someone. I know you say that you don't see sex as violent, but I'm not sure how else to interpret that comment, honestly!! It seems quite violent to me. And this whole idea that it's destructive in a metaphorical way was actually the point I meant to make. Nothing physically changes. Risk…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:46 AM
1

Yeah, I'll be honest, that info comes straight from "something I've heard somewhere on the Internet." Might not be the most reliable source
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:14 AM
10

Yeah, but who would you rather have on your team? The guy who practices with the AHL a few times a week, or the guy who watches NHL all the time? NHL guy doesn't even seem to like playing hockey - he just wants to watch it. Frankly, he might not even have the skills to have a good time playing, especially if he's gonna try and pull the stuff they do in the NHL without the proper training.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 10:59 PM
6

I mean, it's probably better. Frankly from what I understand it has as much to do with excessive & forceful masturbation as it does with porn itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 09:54 PM
38

I think it's relevant that one experience happens with real people in real life, and the other is selling a fantasy experience that even the actresses themselves could not live up to without faking their reactions. Though I do think concerns about porn addiction are overblown, and porn-watching on its own isn't any kind of red flag. Just like drinking alcohol doesn't make you an alcoholic, watching porn doesn't make you an addict.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 08:58 PM
2

So it sounds like the real issue here could be that you're only perceiving sex as degrading or violent? Like... if a man has sex with your hypothetical woman and sees her as an equal, before you two met? If she wasn't degraded or humiliated, just sharing an intimate moment with someone. Would that disgust you the same way? Do you even feel like that's possible? Also, to your point about the risks of penetrative sex - there may be greater risks, but I don't think that can explain the idea that pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 08:11 PM
1

This has become more about winning the argument than examining your beliefs, so I'm calling it here. We're clearly not hearing each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 05:59 PM
2

Would you keep a straight woman from having male friends? And if your certainty that your partner won't cheat is based on the statistical probability of her coming into contact with someone who she wants to fuck and who wants to fuck her - is that even the kind of loyalty that you want?? Regardless of sexuality, if mutual attraction is a numbers game, it's bound to happen at some point. Why wouldn't you just filter for loyalty? Loyalty isn't about finding a partner who could only ever be attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 05:42 PM
2

Just curious.... can you understand why most women wouldn't love this mindset? Because as you said - this isn't based in fact, it's just a feeling. Physically, nothing is taken from her. And if you don't see women's sexuality as destructive, then do you see how it creates a power imbalance? You have the power to destroy her, but she does not have the power to destroy you. I can see why you would want this dynamic, because it means no risk or vulnerability for you. But do you see how it is unfair…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 05:25 PM
1

Honestly I'm just trying to understand here. I don't see any reason other than prejudice that you could say bisexual women aren't worth dating if they aren't open to threesomes - unless you also wouldn't date straight women who aren't open to them, which makes it about sexual compatibility. But it sounds like you're fine with a straight woman who wouldn't have a threesome. I can't find any explanation for this other than that you see bisexuality as a deficit, which needs to be made up for throug…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 04:57 PM
1

So all else equal, a straight woman is better than a bi woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 03:58 PM
2

Well, that's why I didn't say bi women are less likely to be into threesomes. I said it doesn't make sense to ASSUME that they would be into them, because: Bisexuality does not equal sexual openness. Literally all it means is that you could be attracted to more than one gender. That doesn't mean you've had more sex, or that you WANT to have more sex. It doesn't mean you want to fuck everyone you see. There are just hypothetically more people you could be attracted to. I mean, if bi people have a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/22 03:30 PM
11

FYI the idea that a bi woman would be down for threesomes by default makes about as much sense as assuming a straight woman would be down for a threesome with two dudes. The potential to be attracted to a larger pool of people doesn't suddenly make you open to group sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 10:53 PM
11

There are definitely men who do. I would also argue that most men don't know enough about makeup to really tell whether or not they care. But yes, standards around makeup are frequently enforced by other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 06:29 PM
72

On the topic of makeup - I know for many women makeup is seen as the standard for being seen as professional in the workplace, let alone being seen as attractive. That's because not all women have skin naturally free of blemishes like most of the women who do choose to go without makeup. I feel like people on this sub forget that women can have faces just as diverse and varied as men's. Any man you look at and think "poor sap," you can find a woman who looks just like him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/22 02:18 PM
1

I agree that it's not a perfect measure, but it isn't useless. Especially in the US, where we have a two-party system, saying that more women vote than men definitely does not equate to those voices being heard. Your only choices are "bad" and "less bad" - so on a given issue, if A wanted to strip your rights and B wanted to maintain the status quo, you'd reliably vote B. That doesn't mean you'll get what you want, you just won't lose what you have. A better measure might be analyzing the issues…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 06:31 AM
1

You know that they don't include political involvement for the like... joy that it brings the individuals in politics? It's a way to objectively measure the degree to which women's voices are listened to in politics. It being a "small portion of the population" has literally no bearing on how effective it is as a measure lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/22 04:14 AM
–

Honestly, I can really get behind the first part of this post. I don't think it's talked enough about how patriarchy and traditional gender roles do a lot of damage to men. At the very end, though, you do provide two reports that, in your mind, seem to prove that men are disadvantaged when compared to women. I've got a couple problems with that analysis. First, looking at the Global Gender Gap Report. I strongly encourage everyone here to take a good look at what this report factors in - economi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/22 07:49 PM
1

I don't know, cause it says something crappy about them? Why doesn't this guy just admit he's shallow? It's probably the same reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 06:07 PM
1

Women tell you those standards are shallow because they ARE shallow. You literally only seem to care about her body and her background. The only thing about this that hints that you give any kind of a shit about who she is as a person is "sporty." Like, you're allowed to be shallow, but don't pretend that you're not. And people are allowed to criticize you for not caring at all about the personality of the women you date. ("but women are allowed to say they want rich and 6'2"!!!!!" That is also …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 04:01 PM
5

Watching Queer Eye is seriously mind-blowing sometimes. It's amazing what just a professional haircut and some well-fitting clothes can do for a person's appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 06:17 PM
4

This dumbass is talking about trans men binding their chests to make them look flatter. Look up chest binder.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 06:01 PM
6

If the only factor for who you should have sex with is based on avoiding STDs, we should all be having sex with no one.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 05:51 PM
5

In this you come off a little awkward. If you're literally just looking for sex then yeah, it'll probably be pretty tough for you. Not sure what to tell you other than that it's the luck of the draw, a little. Get on OLD, try and get some matches. Week to week, if you're swiping and not getting any matches, switch up your bio until you find something that works. But chances are you need to be looking for a socially awkward woman who also just wants to get laid, and that person might be tough to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 05:48 PM
0

I just get sad when I read comments like this. I'm an overweight lesbian who's chronically single and even I don't feel this desperate. You've told a story about this that's very painful for you and places the blame for that pain on the shoulders of women and "feminists." If love is something you have to purchase, it isn't love - whether you buy it by being young and hot, or through financial resources. Don't you see the women lamenting the same thing that you are? A lot of dating success, for s…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/21 01:17 PM
2

That confusion is fair, honestly. It only becomes entitlement once you start assigning it to the individual - "Why don't you like me? I'm such a nice guy" is a question that implies "You should like me." It puts a woman in the awkward position of justifying on the spot the reason why she doesn't want to date you, which should not be happening. Dating is not something you should have to convince someone to do. Not to mention the fact that it can come paired with "Stupid bitch, you're ugly anyway.…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/21 04:38 AM
7

Well, not if there are other factors at play. The example you keep using is really extreme and only factors in one piece of the puzzle. Real people have a variety of experiences that lead to change and development. Sure, all else aside, if the one and only thing different is the specific dude involved, we can safely assume that dude is her problem with it. But in reality we're talking about years passing, or an experience that leads to realizations about her past, or different sexual experiences…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:56 PM
7

Gonna leave this here for people with dicks who find themselves nodding along to this post, lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:38 PM
4

That does help clarify. He's deciding whether or not he believes her, not whether or not it's actually true - that makes more sense to me, lol. But it is possible for her to change her mind. There are explanations other than "she isn't attracted to you" - you're open to the possibility that her sexual preferences can be affected by factors other than how attractive she finds her current partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:36 PM
9

What would be abuse, if this isn't it? You literally said that they will demand what they want, and sometimes even "take it." What is "taking it" if it is not forcibly having sex with that person? How does that person know the difference between these "testing" no's and real, extant sexual boundaries? ^ You missed this part, do you wanna try again?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:29 PM
2

So you agree that it's completely possible that a woman could do anal with 10 previous partners and then grow to dislike it? And the standard for determining if that's true is........ what her current boyfriend says it is?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:18 PM
17

What would be abuse, if this isn't it? You literally said that they will demand what they want, and sometimes even "take it." What is "taking it" if it is not forcibly having sex with that person? How does that person know the difference between these "testing" no's and real, extant sexual boundaries?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:09 PM
6

Would 9 prior guys be enough for a sample? 5? 2? 1? How many times does she need to have done it precisely before she's never allowed to change her mind on it? How much time needs to pass before it's not "all of a sudden"?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:01 PM
18

In this example she was pressured, manipulated, or straight up forced into doing something she didn't want to. Now that she's out of those abusive relationships, she's supposed to love doing it just because she's technically done it before?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 09:53 PM
22

Just double checking, you'd be cool with HER forcing a sounder up your urethra? She's just taking what she wanted. Isn't that how healthy, consensual sex works?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 09:48 PM
1

Online, sure, but in the real world I think it's pretty rare for that man's social group to shit on a guy who's been rejected by a woman and blames it on her. Women are also socialized to be nice to those men who give them things by giving them what they want - "just give him a chance," "he's done nothing wrong," "it's just a date," etc. On the internet you see a lot of counter-messaging from people frustrated with the real world they grew up in. You've gotta remember that this socialization peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 06:18 PM
4

That's true to a point... Wouldn't we see the "nice guy" response when an unattractive woman chases an attractive man, though? Basing this purely on personal observation, but I feel like it's abnormal even in that case for her to feel entitled to his attention and to get angry at him for not returning it. At that point I think it tends to get pathologized as BPD, honestly, where there's no equivalent entitlement-disorder that's given to men at the same rate - which might be because it's a more a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 06:05 PM
2

Yup! I think part of that is because of the social expectation for men to give service & trinkets in relationships, too. So that's how men tend to court a woman - they give her things and do favors. They're making a sacrifice for a specific goal, and the social upbringing combined with a hormonal tendency toward a short fuse leads to frustration when that goal isn't met. That frustration can get misplaced onto the woman he did those favors for - he gave her xyz and still wasn't interested, she w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 04:49 PM
14

I think the bit you're missing here is the entitlement that comes with "nice guys"- they feel that because they are nice, they're entitled to favor, validation, sex, whatever. It's not just hoping for a good outcome, it's feeling like it's owed to them and getting angry when it isn't delivered. That sort of entitlement and anger is socially unacceptable for women and socially acceptable for men. So you see it more in men than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 04:11 PM
39

I think the reason why people disagree on whether or not this is a problem is the mindset they're assuming that partner is coming from. To me the kicker is understanding why it's different. They're saying the discomfort they feel with that act trumps the pleasure they get from giving you pleasure, so it's not an act they want to perform. In the past, was the act less uncomfortable for them for some reason, like age? Were they subconsciously ignoring their own discomfort entirely because of their…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/21 05:56 PM
3

This is a fun case study on how conservatives and conservative policies treat women. You pretty much have to be indoctrinated in order to fall for that shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 09:24 PM
1

Depends what kind of messages you want back. If you're looking for sex I dunno, but if you're looking for a relationship then dude, be pickier. If she's got nothing to comment on in her profile why are you interested?? What about her is interesting other than her looks? Best conversations come from when you ask an open-ended question about something in the profile. If you can't even think of an open-ended something you want to know more about, just swipe left. Go use other apps if you run out of…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/21 04:28 PM
3

Honestly I think you bring up a good point. It's confusing as hell, and I don't think anybody actually has the answer. I don't have links, but I remember two studies I found in college. The first was a very early study that compared the brain scans of trans women to cis men & women, and found that certain areas of the brains of those trans women were actually more feminine than masculine - there was, potentially, a biological explanation for why they identified as trans. The second was about a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/21 10:36 PM
1

The problem with this argument is that you can't base what women want from a human man on what women want from a fantasy man, because he's just that - a fantasy. He's never gonna disagree with you, never gonna push you too far, never gonna do anything you actually don't want, and he is by definition irresistible. I know one theory about the prevalence of "rape fantasy" is that it's a sexual fantasy that leaves the woman blameless. She's not a whore for having that sex, she didn't even want it - …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/21 08:00 AM
1

IMO this would need to be a bigger conversation... Talk to her about your concerns not from a place of "I think you're gonna cheat on me," but more "It seems like we want different things, what changed for you?" If she claims that for no reason at all she's now ready for commitment, I'd side-eye it. But sometimes people have an experience that changes their priorities, or all along she was looking for commitment from the right person and was just biding her time until they came along. If she see…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 02:14 PM
7

Do you have a mother? Do you love her? A grandmother? A sister? A human woman in your life who you feel anything positive toward? Can you imagine having a four year old daughter and telling her what's in this post? Can you imagine telling a little girl that she will hit her prime at 18 and that the rest of her life will be a tragic downslide, that she'll spend the fifty, sixty years she'll live beyond that just constantly obsessing over the youth she lost, that there is no way she will have POWE…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/21 03:45 AM
1

I think this is a good thing to point out! Though I'm taking it as a reminder of how to engage constructively online. There's a dopamine hit from angrily invalidating someone you disagree with, too, but it doesn't get you anywhere. It's a lot easier to listen to what someone says when they've taken the time to listen to you. Validating the pieces of their argument that ARE true, or that are their lived experience, is really important if you want them to give any weight to what you have to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 11:50 PM
3

lol "They will often murder their partners as they sleep" ?????
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 06:58 PM
5

Tell me more about how BPD people "often murder their partners." Sweet jesus. You jumped straight from "they CAN be violent" - absolutely documented and true - to "people who get a borderline diagnosis should expect to kill someone one day." These are some really bold claims with "just trust me bro" as your source. I'm not arguing against the idea that BPD people can do some terrible things, or even that they're statistically more likely to do them. But the fearmongering here is CRAZY. I feel li…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 06:23 PM
6

Cause everyone knows all women with BPD present exactly the same way. We also all know that the fact that it's categorized next to Antisocial Personality Disorder in the DSM5 means that they're basically serial killers. And that BPD is just the label we give to women who are evil and bad, and there's definitely not a complicated set of biological & environmental factors leading to their behavior. Also absolutely no chance that the dude who developed this zero-feelings ideology had ANYTHING wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 05:28 PM
2

I'm thinking more from the woman's perspective, I guess - if she doesn't trust her partner not to cheat regardless of how they look, that relationship isn't healthy. So it's a moot point to me if fat guys are or aren't as likely to cheat. This is assuming that we're looking for love & genuine commitment, of course, and not a business partnership where a woman wants access to a man without worrying about STIs. If it's the latter case then sure, you sound like a robot but you're right.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 01:34 PM
17

If the only reason he's not cheating is because he feels like he physically can't, or he has fewer opportunities, I still don't think that's a great sign for the relationship. So I don't think it should factor in. If I were a fat guy I'd personally be really hurt by this thought process if I found out about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 12:40 PM
2

I think a key part to this is also that if you haven't befriended them already - how well do you even know them? Whatever feelings you have are either purely appearance-based, or they're a projection of who you think she is. Be someone's friend with the goal of getting to know them better, no matter what happens. If you already have feelings before you've done this, THAT is a problem. You don't know her, and your projection is gonna get in the way of really connecting with her. Once you are her …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 12:29 PM
2

We're all just talking out of our asses with anecdotal experience here. I bet you can pull a dozen examples of women who reject men who go to them for support, and I can pull a dozen examples of women who would welcome & appreciate that. Doesn't it make the most sense that both types are out in the world?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 07:51 PM
2

What you described here is not treating someone like a mother. A lot of women do run into an issue in relationships where men want to rely on them for their emotional needs, but are unwilling to reciprocate when those women need support. There's no evidence that you were doing that in your post. There's a lot of talk in this thread about women saying they want emotional openness but that they'll leave you if you actually express it. I have no idea how common it is, but there's no doubt that what…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 12:00 PM
33

People in a relationship should be on equal footing. If you're in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable for you but still expects you to take care of their emotional needs, you're just their therapist. That's what people mean by that. Ideally, people are at a relatively similar level of maturity and are able to help each other grow and develop. Of course people aren't gonna be perfectly mature - at any point! But your partner should be able to help you just as much as you he…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/21 03:26 PM
1

Part of the problem is that by criticizing bad behavior specific to women, you're saying the same things that misogynists and incels and other crappy people say. Because you can't exactly tag a post with the full context of your beliefs, you get placed in that category and assumed to be in bad faith. So you just don't say it. It's also seen as less of a problem for women to harm men than it is for men to harm women. This is based both on patriarchal reasoning (women are more vulnerable because t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 08:22 PM
3

Are these the same women saying it's okay for men to open up who are also breaking up with them for showing emotion? This feels like it could be one of those times where what looks like hypocrisy is just different women having different opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 04:20 PM
2

It's wrong because you're being judgmental of women for doing something that hurts no one. It's a weird, sexist pissing contest with other men that'll manifest in a relationship as jealousy and insecurity. Why the hell does it affect you if some other man came in her before you? And if it does, why the hell shouldn't it affect her if you came in some other woman before her? Reads like you're planting your flag in some uncharted land to claim ownership - instead of, you know, building a partnersh…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:55 PM
6

I think a lot of the disconnect happening here is the fact that this phrase is really dependent on context, both for the customer and the waitress. It's definitely flirtatious, but there's a way to say it that says, "ha-ha, we're having fun and in no way do I want to have sex with you" - and there's a way to say it that says "ha-ha, we're just having fun...... unless?" So it depends on the delivery from the customer - is he actually hitting on her for real? Would he notice if she was uncomfortab…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 03:09 PM
7

"Sir, have you stopped beating your wife?" "I never beat my wife!" "ANYTHING to not respond with a yes or no, HUH?"
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 09:04 PM
6

Their answer was specific. White women assume that their gender struggles are universally experienced. You can find individual exceptions, but that's the trend. Do you disagree that that's a problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 01:29 PM
1

Yikes!! If it's any help, when I used OKCupid, I had a rough time getting matches at all. I got the impression that it was really only a useful app for people who are willing to pay for it. I've liked Bumble and Hinge a lot more, so those may be worth a try.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 02:14 PM
2

Try OLD, especially an app that's not Tinder. They're not just for hookups. And it's the best way to find single people nowadays - just filter out the folks who want something casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 11:37 AM
2

In general I don't see a problem with what you're saying, but I'm curious how it came up in the first place. Is there any chance this perspective is noticeable in your interactions with younger women? If you're treating everyone with equal respect, it seems fine. You're allowed to have different standards for a fling vs. a friend. The advice about seeing women as friends seems more suited to long term relationships than casual ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/21 04:11 AM
12

What? Why should they have to do that? If they each take equal care of the kid, then they're responsible for their own share of childcare expenses, and do not need to pay the other's. What's wrong with 50/50 custody? And honestly, if clearance from a counselor is enough to make an exception for a no-fault marriage, in most cases you'd just be adding a bureaucratic (and financial!!) hoop to jump through. If there's no love there and someone is that attached to leaving, they're not gonna put their…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 11:40 PM
27

No-fault divorce was created in part because it can be so, so difficult to prove abuse, especially emotional abuse. I also don't think it is healthy for kids to be stuck with a couple whose marriage is unhealthy and unloving, even if it's not abusive; no-fault divorce allows that to happen. Like, really. Would all your friend's problems be solved if he was trapped in a marriage with a woman who wants to leave him? What you want, and what I absolutely agree should be happening, is less preference…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 10:03 PM
1

I gotta say, I hope you're not intending to use this to prove any kind of point. Photo quality alone can have a huge impact on what we deem attractive; putting celebrities' Instagrams up with normal women's Facebooks is not gonna give you accurate information about how they feel about their attractiveness. Whoever said you should've used stock photos was right.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 11:20 AM
1

I think you're getting away from the point here. I'm just here to offer an explanation for why women might be less selective with other women. Lower risk of rejection aggression is one factor. That doesn't mean all women date with the #1 goal of avoiding rejection aggression. It means that when you're seeking a group with minimal rejection aggression, you're more likely to take chances on people you think you might end up rejecting. There are, of course, other factors at play. This isn't the onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 06:28 AM
2

Combination of factors... Being friends with a man puts you at higher risk of what you describe, but I think it's way too extreme to say that it's "most men." More likely that this vocal minority leads to gender essentialist takes like this, which lead to greater fear and paranoia of interacting with men. Hell, I even know this is going on and I still fall into this trap. I've got a tough time being close friends with dudes - when it happens, it's usually a boyfriend of a friend, lmao, which mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 09:23 PM
6

I do, yeah. Pulling from personal experience again, it's just something I see happen pretty often between women who use dating apps, and haven't ever seen between a man and a woman. But then again, I don't know that many straight people who are still looking to date. If I had to guess, I'd say it's at least partially because it's a skill many lesbians developed early, lmao. In school, gay people tend to run in the same circles, so if you want to date while you're young, you have to date your fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 02:40 PM
4

It's more about the fact that men are more likely to be aggressive in the first place, no matter what they look like. They could pull a gun or a knife on you, stalk you, harass you, threaten you. Just because they'd have a tough time physically beating you doesn't mean they can't be dangerous. And size does absolutely nothing to prevent someone from saying abusive language, which just sucks to receive, so it's avoided when possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 02:24 PM
4

LMAO that was my exact response.. he looks like he's gonna say a slur
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 02:08 PM
2

There's variations in results by studies, but this report from the CDC states that lesbians are more likely to be victims of physical and psychological intimate partner violence than heterosexual women (though it's worth noting that across the board, bisexual women are the most vulnerable to all forms of IPV). So, yes, that's true. What I was talking about, though, was rejection violence. This study demonstrates that men are more likely than women to show hostility & aggression when rejected on …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 01:56 PM
3

The sources. The research. The expertise. The basis for your argument. Literally anything. To answer your question, no. In my personal experience, it wasn't a phase for me or any of my friends. Obviously it happens, but everyone in my group has never gone back to identifying as straight. My original point was a response to yours about protector/protected relationship dynamics, and the idea that most lesbians are lesbians because they were abused by men. Do you want to actually respond to that wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 12:52 PM
6

23-25 y/o friend group, actually. Two of those friends are getting married next year. And if this is based on research, I would truly love to see it!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 12:16 PM
7

I mean, of course those things happen. I'm not sure about the prevalence of lesbian bed death, since I've never looked into it and we're all still young, but I am aware that DV between lesbians is a problem. I just saw that you were making some pretty broad generalizations about lesbians without a source and wanted to offer my own experience, since something like this is difficult to quantify with a study. I guess - was this take based on a lot of personal experience with the lesbian dating scen…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 11:52 AM
15

This is just a shot in the dark with no real evidence to back it up. But as a lesbian on dating sites, I do see plenty of women who say they're looking for things like "friends... or more?" or "whatever it turns into." I also know that I have no problem in getting initial responses, and I would not put myself anywhere near a high tier of attractiveness, lmao. I think that in relationships between women, if things don't work out romantically, it's easier to just be friends. It's happened to me, h…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 11:41 AM
10

I can only offer anecdotal evidence as a lesbian with a friend group full of them, but what you say here isn't my experience. No one was abused by a man and most of us realized we were gay around puberty. The protector/protected dynamic also hasn't existed in the relationships I've been in or seen. Maybe it's because none of us are really butch or femme, but there's not been a dominant partner in any of these relationships, honestly. Not that it never happens to anyone, but what you're saying he…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/21 11:21 AM
1

Does this question actually apply to most men, though? Unless you're in the billionaire club or on your way there, your resources are still pretty finite. Does just the hypothetical potential to have infinite resources change a biological drive that much?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 08:02 PM
3

To clarify: Men are now infinitely able to gather resources, and therefore potentially infinitely powerful. Because of this.... men serve women? I guess I don't understand your premise. I can wrap my head around the argument "women evolved to care for children, and men evolved to care for women - because of this, we do not live in a patriarchy now." But then you throw in the capitalism and I'm totally lost, lmao.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 07:18 PM
10

Whew!! I hit a nerve I guess! I'm not even sure how trans bathroom rights got into a discussion on the sexual liberation movement, but here we are, lmao. If I can speak for myself, at least, I'm definitely against pedophilia! I don't think I'm a sick person...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 06:20 PM
1

OP, I think what you might be getting at is: why aren't most women as horny as most men? Part of it's hormones, part of it's the work that goes into it - it takes practice, skill, and patience to bring a woman to orgasm, even if she's doing it herself. It's as much about mindset as it is about the physical sensation. Imperfect comparison, but it's a bit like asking someone why they don't want to go to the amusement park every day. They enjoy it, but there's a fair amount of prep work to be done …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 12:58 PM
16

You're viewing it in context of now. Think about what life was like for US women in the 60s & 70s - abortion wasn't legalized nationwide until 1973, and no-fault divorce was 1975. The birth control pill was approved by the FDA in 1960, but wasn't even legal for unmarried women to use until 1972, and restrictions on obtaining it were only lifted in 1978. These were some of the major policy changes that the sexual liberation movement fought for. It wasn't just about increasing social acceptance fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 11:26 AM
2

I think the problem is that a "nice" guy - someone who's not rude, not abusive, interested in you & the things you like, and pulls his weight in the relationship - is like a baseline for any healthy relationship. You don't WANT a nice guy, it's just a prerequisite. There are some guys who think being nice is enough, but it's not. Incidentally, the guys who want to do that bare minimum are usually also the guys who will stop doing that bare minimum as soon as they can, lmao. Because it's conditio…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 03:17 PM
2

No, typically it's not! It's not surprising to me that men don't, and I'm not advising that anyone start, haha. It's just a factor that leads to men being broadly less attractive than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 02:50 PM
4

Honestly, I don't think you're wrong that society puts women up on a pedestal. I think the mistake is that you see that as a benefit for women. Which it is, in some ways - lower sentencing for violent crime, an easier time getting jobs related to nurturing & children, the extreme underreporting of female sexual assault... But really, it comes back to the model minority concept. Women NEED to be sugar, spice, and everything nice; they NEED to be more mature so that they can manage an entire house…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 01:21 PM
2

How many women wear makeup and spend time on their appearance? How many men wear makeup and spend time on their appearance? Honestly, just look at a show that gives makeovers to men, like Queer Eye. Visually, the "before" for a lot of these guys is pretty average... most of them don't even look ugly, but they don't look attractive. One haircut and a well-fitted outfit later, they're looking totally different - and hot!! Whereas for many of the women on that show, the before and after looks more …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 01:00 PM
8

"Uncontrollable sexual attraction isn't dehumanizing," he says, comparing a woman's body to an object he really wants. Are you suggesting an alternative here? I'm really trying to figure out a way that I'm supposed to read this that doesn't lead me to the conclusion that women are unfairly protective of their bodies. And that the solution is for women to just accept that men are going to objectify them and... be okay with it? I mean, you describe wanting an emotional connection with someone befo…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 07:28 PM
1

Well, the way he describes it, it almost sounds like an addiction. Which is definitely challenging! Addiction is also never managed well through shame, so I agree that just saying "men are disgusting and wrong for even wanting to look at strangers sexually" is never gonna be an effective tactic. Look at how well it worked on this guy, lmao. Plus, wanting sex is normal. But I also don't think throwing up our hands and saying "well, men are just gonna objectify women, nothing to be done about it" …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 06:27 PM
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