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prolixdreams Archive

View 0 posts and 202 comments by prolixdreams on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Part of it is everyone thinks it's all about young single women but a lot of the people harmed by this are families - long term married couples who already have the kids they can handle and struggle with the odds of contraceptive failure, or couples trying for another kid but who have concerning odds of the kinds of issues that make abortion advisable.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 01:04 AM
1

I have no sympathy for people who care whether their diamond came out of a lab or the ground. They're the exact same thing, one just involves more cruelty and corruption than the other. It's a little evil to say "I know these two items are, down to the molecule, exactly the same thing, but I want the one kids had to die for."
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 12:58 AM
1

That's what my parents did. Just kind of went "huh, guess we should probably get married" and got to it. Been happily married for decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 12:52 AM
3

Crazy take: while the actual scenario/moment of a proposal may be a pleasant surprise to some extent, ideally it would never come out of nowhere or be a true surprise, it should be a nice little fun event that both of you were well aware was on the way because you've already discussed marriage and know you're on the same page about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 12:50 AM
5

Sorry but the policies you vote for reflect your values as a person why don’t you find someone who has the same values. Precisely. This is why I'm so baffled when people are like "oh of course we can date even if we vote differently" like no, accepting differences of opinion are for toppings on your burger, or whether you like cheesy action movies, not who gets human rights. Yes, if you tell me you voted for Trump that provides additional information about you that is a dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:26 PM
1

I don't understand - why not get an abortion then? For me, personally I absolutely would. But it's personal, you can't force people to have abortions. So as long as the option is there to have the child, it's wrong to then punish it for its parents' choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:06 PM
-1

Hit the nail on the head. The reason we should all fight patriarchy is that it actually hurts men, too, or at least most men who aren't the top few most rich and powerful. The same system that tells women they're born to nurture and scolds them for wanting to do something else is the one that looks askance at a man who just wants to relax on a park bench by himself. Dismantling that system frees us all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 02:12 AM
1

met with resistance from pro-choice feminists. The problem is that with actual abortion, no child is born -- no matter how you feel about it, or what you call it, it prevents a birth. The person who would have existed doesn't. A person who doesn't exist can't suffer. "Paper abortion" results in a subjective experience of a life, an innocent child who didn't ask to be born into a broken home with half a household income. They don't deserve to live in poverty, go hungry, be bullied for their hand …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 02:06 AM
9

In my eyes, "good in bed" is 90% a matter of caring whether you're both having a good time, being willing to communicate & try new things about it, and not taking yourself too seriously. No experience is actually needed to do those things and therefore be "good in bed."
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:28 PM
19

My mom AND grandma told me when I was young: ALWAYS make your own money if at all possible. You never know what will happen in life. If you depend 100% on someone else you are relying on them: Never changing their mind about wanting to support you Never cheating and wasting money on their mistress or trading you in for a younger model Never becoming addicted to something that wastes household income like drugs or gambling Never becoming cruel or controlling Never getting into an accident (like i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 01:01 PM
3

With issues where societal benefit or harm intersect with critical personal freedoms, I prefer incentives and structural changes to things like bans. I think it’s best to look at what we can do to prevent the need for choices we’d rather people not make, and ways to leverage those choices to counterbalance harm. I would support higher taxes on crypto earnings, for example, while I would not support a ban. Likewise I support free birth control, comprehensive sex education, and a robust social saf…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 10:03 PM
3

It has nothing to do with benefit to me. Morality is a personal opinion, it’s how you feel, it’s whether abortion gives you the ick, and none of it matters. All that matters is what we as a society choose to make a law of. If YOU find it immoral, don’t do it. I think investing in crypto is immoral, as crypto is both bad for the environment while producing nothing of real value, AND helps criminals hide their activities… so I don’t do it and I don’t make close friends with people who do it. But I…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 09:34 PM
7

I don’t think you understand. The circumstances do not matter. No one can ever take from someone else’s body. If you personally deliberately hit me with your car, I need a kidney transplant to live and you were the only donor who would suffice… you STILL could not be compelled to donate, and if you agreed to donate you could withdraw that consent right until you’re unconscious in surgery. Even if you were dead, no one could take that kidney to save me unless you had already signed off on it — de…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 08:10 PM
10

Ultimately, this boils down to is a fetus deserving of human rights? No. Because you can give a fetus human rights and it still doesn't have the right to take/use parts of someone else's body without them continuously consenting. Consent can be withdrawn at any time as long as you're conscious/alive for bodily donations. Go read McFall v. Shimp and come back.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 03:07 PM
8

I think a lot of men mistake the date-through-hobbies advice. No one expects you to meet your match on the first day of yoga class. The idea is that while meeting someone within the group is possible, you’re meant to create a strong social network that trusts you and sees you as the sort of man they’d like to recommend to their single lady friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 12:15 PM
3

This is basically summed up as different arrangements work out for different couples, which is obvious in real life no matter what Reddit tells you people are supposed to want.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 06:33 PM
1

Yeah most men don’t work very hard to please women they’re with, so I guess everyone else lucky enough to get a husband who puts the effort in should be equally miserable if they’re not trying to have more kids than a quiverfull cultist.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 05:17 PM
5

It's kind of moot. Things like life and ensoulment are red herrings, I'm just pointing out that they're crafted from feelings, not from fact. Ultimately I think only one thing about abortion matters, and that's bodily autonomy. At the end of the day, pregnancy is a state in which you are donating of your body to someone else. You are not only never required to do that under ANY circumstances no matter how bizarre, you are also ALWAYS allowed to stop doing that no matter how much of it you've alr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 03:37 PM
4

No form of birth control save abstinence is 100% effective. So I guess you're just pro dead bedroom. Yikes. Hope you don't think that's a popular stance because that's not what most people want out of a marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 03:12 PM
1

keep your legs closed Are you saying that a married couple who has completed having as many children as they are comfortable with (perhaps they do not wish to risk the health of the wife, or do not make enough money to preserve the lifestyle of their current children) should never have sex again for the rest of their lives? Bear in mind this not at all an unusual scenario, more than half of abortion patients already have at least one child.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 02:59 PM
4

I have to wonder how much better sex ed might help with this, since it's not AS well known that anywhere from 30%-50% of fertilized eggs fail to implant and are simply washed out with the next period, unknown to anyone. If you count a fertilized egg as a human life you'd be too busy grieving the billions of lives snuffed out with a failed implantation to do anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 02:53 PM
1

I’m wondering where risk calculus comes into this. Perhaps baseline is the same or similar but once women factor in their much MUCH higher odds of assault, murder, STIs, unwanted pregnancy, and even just bad sex (given the orgasm gap situation) that behavior becomes less appealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 12:45 PM
1

That’s sort of my point. Obviously some women will be the exception to the rule, but they will be rare. Anyone who wants something rare comes off a bit pathetic just complaining it’s difficult, as if they’re owed it, when they could be working for it or deciding it’s not worthwhile. If that’s really a man’s goal, he should be a. willing to wait for sex with such a woman, b. willing to seek her where she is likely found (often a religious or very community-minded environment) and c. equally rare …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 05:30 PM
-1

Hmm, this idea throws an unfortunate cast on men who complain that they struggle to find themselves a low body-count woman, doesn’t it? Because naturally something that is in low supply and high demand will be very expensive and accessible only to an elite few. Makes complainers look unrealistic about either their own station or the world around them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 05:21 PM
2

I’ve heard that too, but I don’t see how anyone survives not being able to do it. I think everyone does it to an extent. The way a cashier acts with a customer isn’t how they act with their spouse, etc. It’s just harder for us, it takes more practice both to do it and to be able to transition out of it as we grow close with someone. It definitely has a toll, it just seems a necessary one.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:51 PM
1

I beg to differ. This is a learned skill. That it is harder for neurodivergent people to learn doesn’t mean it cannot be learned. MANY neurodivergent women and girls, myself included, learn to “mask” our strangeness extremely well for short periods of time as matter of survival among other women and girls, often leading to lower rates of diagnosis. I’ve worked in sales and done well — people frame masking as a bad thing for some reason but while difficult and tiring and not without personal cost…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:32 PM
11

The touching one… few things more unsettling than when a strange man touches my waist or lower back area as he moves past me in a crowded area. If I’m in your way use your words like an adult, and if you MUST touch me touch the same areas you would on another man: shoulder/upper arm.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:29 PM
2

The way I use it it’s someone who is giving off signals that they may be more likely than average to be unsafe to be around/alone with. Common behaviors in men specifically that often trigger this conclusion: Overly sexual or violent speech in mixed & unfamiliar company, Prolonged staring outside of interaction Continuing attempts to flirt or get someone alone after either implicit or explicit rejection Angry or pushy reaction to rejection Inappropriate approaching (such as when a woman is at wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:27 PM
2

I’m not saying change your strategy I’m saying be aware than an environment where a harsh, cynical strategy is most successful will foster mainly harsh, cynical users, so that’s the main kind of person you’ll meet.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 03:51 PM
12

I’ve never used these apps but it seems to me half the problem is that this environment works counter to what women are looking for. When I was single, what I hoped for and dreamed of was to be SPECIAL to someone, to be seen as the best to someone, for someone to get heart eyes especially for me. The fact that I felt that was happening with my now-husband is why that relationship took off so well. It was like a fairytale. I don’t think I’m unusual in desiring that. But on apps like this, the kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 02:23 PM
1

That’s up to you and your risk tolerance but I can’t help being curious: why would it bother you that a sexual partner wants to use protection and ensure you’re both clean of STI’s?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 08:19 PM
3

Of course. My hot take about this is I don’t think dating through work is as bad as people say. I’ve never done it but I don’t judge people who get together with a coworker (assuming they were both single to start with) and don’t warn others against doing so — I only advise thinking ahead and being prepared to behave maturely if the relationship ends.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 04:05 PM
3

Crypto is evil. It didn’t have to be, but it is. Destroying the environment to produce nothing but fake value that helps criminals large and small hide what they’re doing. I have never met a good person who’s into it/who has NO other sketchy values. Perfectly valid litmus test imho.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 03:59 PM
0

In my experience, fiction tends to skip this stage because it's not always the most sexy/romantic? Assuming you're not hooking up on the first date there will probably be at least a LITTLE discussion of your past prior to sex as you get to know each other, and for adults with any caution at all they will ask "when was the last time you got an STI test" and "did you bring a condom" once things start heating up (some intense kissing, etc.) and before anybody penetrates anything. Naturally there ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 01:16 PM
3

As long as it was pleasant enough (doesn't have to have been perfect) I wouldn't mind at any age, I would mainly be self-conscious about whether I handled it well and provided him with a good first time memory. I'd wish he told me beforehand so I could be more careful to do so, but I wouldn't be angry. The only information I feel owed prior to sex is something that might have a negative impact such as STI symptoms/diagnosis. His virginity can't hurt me. Presumably if we're comfortable enough wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 01:08 PM
9

It can be hard to date surgeons of any kind. They’re often married to their work first, and it’s not for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 07:28 PM
2

If I’ve made it seem like it’s my only concern, I’ve miscommunicated - it’s important, but republicans have provided a long, long list of reasons to be kept away from power whenever possible. This is one of many. I just wish we had an actual viable left-wing party. Right now the Overton window is in such a nasty place all we have is far right and centerish. My expectation is that the far right will implode over the next decade or so, the center-right republicans who don’t care about social issue…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 06:19 PM
2

I would actually rather split the bill on a first date - or just pay individually for what we each got - as a matter of course. I feel like it sets an appropriate tone (we are both financially independent adults on equal footing, and I don’t want a man I barely know to feel I owe him anything.) So this sounds about right to me and I’d be perfectly happy to have a second date in that hypothetical. The exception to this is in the event we discussed it in advance due to the other person wanting to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 06:12 PM
2

One drop doesn’t feel like a lot. Enough one drops make a flood.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 06:04 PM
2

About half of abortion patients were actively using a birth control method at the time of their abortion, and republicans are working VERY hard to reduce options for pill abortions and plan B. That they haven't done it yet doesn't mean they're not trying. Unfortunately, you're right: I have little choice but to vote for democrats, due to the awful first-past-the-post + electoral college combo. I hate it. If it were up to me, one person would get one vote, end of, no electoral college, and it wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 03:18 PM
2

Part of the issue is that reproductive rights are where the Roe v. Wade overturn problems START, not end. Roe v. Wade wasn't just about abortion, it was about medical privacy and bodily autonomy. I recommend reading McFall v. Shimp - a case that explains bodily autonomy extremely well. Essentially, it states that no person can EVER be forced to give of their body to any other person. Even if you personally damaged my kidney and you were the only match in the world, you could not be forced to don…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:59 PM
0

Oh hon. Humans have been doing abortion since we understood the connection between sex and pregnancy/herbs and miscarriage. The first plant we drove to extinction (or near extinction, we're not 100% sure) was in the second century BC and it was because it was so good at contraception & abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:51 PM
0

he prides himself on his intelligence David Dunning and Justin Kruger would be proud.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:49 PM
1

This seems like the kind of person who is unlikely to change their view and should probably be avoided. Anyone who says ridiculous things like this in polite company is antisocial. That said, it is very very clear he has never spoken with an actual abortion patient. It's the same level of "ritualistic" as, say, going to get an ingrown toenail removed - one discovers an unwanted medical situation and goes to a medical facility to have it resolved. Freedom being sacred or deity-like is a personal …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 02:36 PM
2

You are free believe that if you like, but you’d be wrong. Voice is part of physical attractiveness just like height, weight, eye color, etc. — the fact that it uses a sense other than vision to cause attraction is clouding your mind and limiting your understanding. But you’re not required to accept that, it’s your life. (The opposite is true, too: I’ve had potential interest in a good-looking guy utterly ruined when he opened his mouth.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 12:14 PM
1

Most of the answers I expect before scrolling are about chemistry. Obviously this is what we’re all looking for, and it’s hard to capture, but wit/humor will go a long way. Physically though: it’s all about the voice for me in terms of instant attraction. I’m not sure if I’m even very unusual in this — I’m a big fan of Mass Effect and the OVERWHELMINGLY most popular male love interest is a spiky velociraptor-esque alien, in part because he has a very attractive voice. A deep voice makes it easie…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 12:05 PM
10

I do not feel non-interactive porn is cheating, and I would not date someone who did feel that way — not because it is an unreasonable demand to me, but because I don’t like jealousy and someone who feels porn is cheating is likely to be controlling/jealous. I think seeing non-interactive porn as cheating is an unusual-enough standpoint/boundary that it falls into my “you better bring this up in the first 5 dates if you don’t want to hurt yourself or someone else” category. Also I think both vie…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:43 AM
8

Healthy weight is a wide range that looks different on different people. The low end of that range, on a lot of people, looks “skinny.” (Just as the high end of that range can sometimes look a bit chubby while being healthy.) It’s an aesthetic call, not a health one.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 11:33 AM
2

Chemically speaking, arousal lowers inhibition and suppresses disgust, it's plainly just how human brains work, so while we all have stuff we would truly never do under any circumstances, someone who is extremely turned on will be willing or interested in doing stuff they will reject if they're not turned on already. Why they're turned on may vary - the person, the situation, etc. But the fact remains. Men, women, everybody - we're all like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:53 PM
1

I don't have those kinds of friends, my friends are all normal, but in a situation where a single person is dating a married person who is cheating, I judge the married/partnered person 99% and the single person 1% regardless of my personal connection to them or their gender. After all, only one of them made a vow or has an obligation to another person in that scenario. (The 1% is because like, why? Honestly don't see what would be enjoyable about it.)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:47 PM
4

It's wrong/unfair to care about X This is a pointless attitude, I agree - however it IS a reasonable boundary. Just like it's fine to have specific qualifications for a partner... what their qualifications are is also a qualification, if that makes sense. Some people won't date people who discriminate based on height, even if they themselves are tall -- they just don't like the vibes. Plenty of men with money don't want to date women who only date rich men. And that's also fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 04:58 PM
2

If something happened to my husband, regardless of circumstance, I would not attempt proactively to date again. I hated dating when I was younger and that was before it got even worse (online etc.) the idea of doing it again now seems like pure misery. No point. I like my own company, he makes it better, but I wouldn’t actively seek out a partner if he were gone. Too much work for too little reward. I wouldn’t rule out some romance emerging organically (without me actively looking for it) if suc…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 02:54 PM
13

I’m here for it because I know it’s not going anywhere and being legal provides a path to better safety and conditions for workers.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 02:49 PM
0

Okay… how exactly do you propose the state intervene to alleviate male loneliness? (You know this sounds like it’s leading to one of those hilarious “government assigned wives” things right)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 01:41 AM
1

It could, but unfortunately the only way out is for those men to either take a long hard look at themselves and improve the qualities that are most impeding them (hint: it’s not usually anything they can’t change) OR find fulfillment elsewhere. No one else can solve lonely mens’ problem but them, and that seems to be the crux of the issue: that they want other people to solve it for them instead of them having to put in the work.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 08:22 PM
2

Certainly agree. I think people should have whatever standards matter to them, and we’d all be better off if more people worked on themselves and on enjoying their own company before trying to mesh lives with someone else. The only caveat is if your standards are high enough that it becomes difficult or unlikely to find a match, your options are to accept being single (probably better for a lot of people) and focus on friends, family, hobbies, etc. OR alter your standards. “Complain that the peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/24 08:19 PM
4

Who believes humans are children until 25, outside of car rental companies? People need to stop infantilizing themselves. Vulnerable people of all ages (or most ages, anyway) get pushed into or see an easy escape in sex work. I don't think it should be illegal, but I wish there wasn't anyone who felt like they had no better choice. I feel the same way about joining the military or other hazardous jobs. Not that no one should do it, but that it should be VERY well compensated and undertaken by th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 07:07 PM
5

Honestly the first stage a relationship just kind of sucks all around. A lot of the behavior both men and women choose makes some kind of sense, but isn't really fun for anyone involved. It's frustrating not to just be honest, but choosing honest feels so dangerous, either literally or emotionally depending on the situation. This is why I'm baffled by married people who cheat, because you're literally endangering the best part of a relationship in favor of the shittiest part??
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 06:09 PM
–

I don't know anything about them and don't think about them at all. In a general sense I do not think people should post pictures of their children online.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:29 AM
3

The point is that being alone is better than being with someone who doesn't enhance your life, and too many people fear being without a partner when what they should fear is being with the wrong partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:18 PM
3

To the conclusion of your points - largely valid - isn’t that straight women shouldn’t date or marry it’s that they should be very picky and only spend time with, date, and marry men who are certain to add to and improve upon their perfectly serviceable solitude. I don’t agree with the idea that there are no men in this category (as I believe I married one) but I do think there are a lot of women who under-value themselves, give in to external pressures to date, or do themselves a disservice by …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 01:16 PM
–

I’m not sure these are good friends. I’ve had bad “friends” and good friends and the good ones and I all give each other a lot of grace and assume best intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 02:37 AM
6

Why should sex be a defining factor here? I feel like my answer is just what any normal person does when they see a person in peril and feel qualified to help.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:14 AM
–

I am not aware of this being a common phenomenon but given how sex-negative a lot of teens & young adults seem to be these days I guess it makes some sense. If it’s disrupting your life, and it sounds like it is, it’s something to talk to a therapist about.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:13 PM
10

Yes, if I felt I was able to help I would and would probably not spend a lot of time calculating the risk to my own life unless the odds of my survival were obviously overwhelmingly bad. If I hesitate it would be because I am worried about making things worse or adding another person who needs rescue to the scenario. This has nothing to do with whether I have had sex with someone though. My process would be the same for a stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 08:08 PM
-1

Men have an unnecessary duty to interpret IOI The communication may be annoying for you but it is not poor communication in the sense that it is doing exactly what it is meant to do: filter out men who will either not understand the signal or will not react as desired. The subtler or more opaque the signal, the stricter the filter. All is working as intended. That you dislike the intention is another matter entirely.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 12:10 AM
6

I truly believe that most of the time what looks like a cold approach isn't really that cold actually and men are overestimating other men's success at this by not paying attention to the signals they were responding to. You're saying you are regularly going to work, school, friend hangouts, sports, parties, and events, and you are not meeting anyone you would consider dating, but you regularly see total strangers to whom you have zero connection that you want to ask out? Doesn't that seem like …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/24 12:01 AM
2

Yeah it's cheesy and transparent but it gets a conversation started with minimal weirdness so it does the job.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 11:44 PM
1

Nah he's right though. It's not at all unusual to see a man approach a woman and THINK he's making the first move all on his own when really she was shooting him some signals of potential interest before he did anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 11:43 PM
1

Not European but that sounds pretty normal to me. Sometimes the friends/chemistry part happens pretty fast but the idea is there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 11:22 PM
5

Kinda? I've never been hooking up with more than one person at once. Even if a relationship started casually, it was still my only romantic/sexual entanglement until it ended. To my knowledge this was the case for the other people involved as well. Seeing multiple people at once sounds kind of tiring and weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 11:20 PM
11

Decently well traveled here: Humans are all variations on a theme. Many places you may imagine have kinder women also place incredible pressure on the men who want to marry them to do things like give lavish gifts, own their own (nice) home, make over a certain amount, etc. — and they don’t pussyfoot around it or pretend it’s a bit of a naughty desire like Americans do! I invite you — and any man who feels this way — to test your theory. Please, go to wherever you think women are better and find…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 11:03 PM
2

If it is reciprocated/desired: validating, warm, ego-boosting, exciting, a little anxious (am I reading this right? Am I flirting back well?). Think about a time you found out you had a good shot at getting something you wanted, or being right about an important issue/prediction, but it wasn’t a sure thing yet. If the attention is unwanted it ranges from no feeling to intense dread (how will they react if I reject them? How do I thread the needle to interact in whatever way I must, such as schoo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 10:52 PM
22

They’re happy to see you - you walk into a room and they notice you right away or light up. They pay special attention to you more than other people, seem interested in what you think and how you feel, they engage you in conversation and try to learn more about you. They might sustain eye contact more than normal, stand closer than normal, if you already know each other well enough playful physical contact is a possibility. If you have the kind of dynamic where texting or social media interactio…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 09:05 PM
2

Most women I know are pretty consistent: either they seek relationships in a sex-forward way or they don’t. But as I was discussing with someone in that other thread, that kind of consistency is only really viable for women who are themselves fairly attractive and don’t have much trouble locking down the men they’re into with whatever strategy they’re already using. So I guess the reason for this phenomenon is women who try to date way out of their league, don’t get commitment, then drop their s…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 07:01 PM
2

You don’t have to have casual hookups. Whether a woman would hookup with you if you were offering is more important than actually doing it in terms of the responses to that thread. Plenty of women who would be willing to hook up with you would also be perfectly happy to go on some dates with you first.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:54 PM
16

Lukewarm take: its not as attractive as men think for them to have a high count. Makes me think they don’t have very high standards and will just get with anyone who’s willing, so then being into any woman in particular is not much of a compliment to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 06:49 PM
8

I’m BMI normal weight and still get carded in my 30s, I have a decent job that still leaves me with enough time and energy to be productive with chores and in good spirits around the house, I’m VERY good at research/planning/organizing, I am not very fussy or high-maintenance and my preferred lifestyle doesn’t cost much, I can carry on intelligent conversation (which is very important to my husband) or entertain myself with my own quiet inexpensive home-based hobbies, and my friends are supporti…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 05:46 PM
5

Balance is common sense here. Showing vulnerability honestly with your long term partner is great! And both partners should be comforting one another in times of stress. Making them your SOLE source of support is not ideal, though. I suspect this is what often happens when a woman gets overburdened -- a lot of men don't have people other than their girlfriend or wife who they feel comfortable being really vulnerable with, so they put it ALL on her to deal with. Ideally you'd ALSO have supportive…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 01:26 PM
1

If this is something a man finds important, he MUST indicate this before there is a reasonable expectation of deep trust. Like, before cohabitation, before marriage, and DEFINITELY before a pregnancy. If a man said “for some reason I have a weird thing about this, I really want a paternity test someday when I have a kid” on date 5, it’s a little weird but it’s not an accusation — you don’t know her yet, you’re not implying anything about her character. If you bring it up for the first time when …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 09:47 PM
4

This is it precisely. If you actually have a reason to suspect infidelity (such as past actions, strange behavior, evasive or deceptive statements) it’s a WAY different thing than “some podcast creep told me I should do this even though I’ve known my wife for 10 years and have zero cause for concern.”
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 09:39 PM
0

Irrational fears that are impacting your life should not be indulged - that only gives them more power over you. Someone who is SO SURE that his partner is faithful but still wants a paternity test due to illogical fear needs therapy, not to have his irrational fear validated. (Obviously if he actually has reason to suspect cheating this is a whole other thing.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 09:05 PM
2

Yes, precisely: if you broach this BEFORE there is an expectation of deep trust it’s not really offensive. It’s offensive if you wait until she’s already pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 09:03 PM
1

It's unhealthy to have 100% trust in anyone including yourself...if you need someone to trust you 100%, you have a serious insecurity and you should accept that the world simply isn't that black and white. It’s not healthy or unhealthy really. It’s just two totally different outlooks on life and relationships. People who are not aligned on whether they should trust one another to the extent that they would not ask for proof of fidelity are just not compatible. Neither needs to be a different per…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:39 PM
2

That would be illogical. If he was really sure there would be no reason to get one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:35 PM
9

If my husband found out I had a “just in case he suddenly turns abusive” bank account I was keeping hidden from him, he would be justifiably upset. If I asked to go through his messages because I thought he was cheating, he would also be justifiably upset! I wouldn’t do these things because I 100% trust him. I KNOW he is not the kind of person who I would ever have to run from, or who would cheat on me. So I have no need to level tacit accusations out of paranoia. I expect the same trust from hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:28 PM
3

Obviously it's a non-issue for women who didn't have to settle. Wait. I think you might have just cracked it. So many women in here posting “my boyfriends and my husband were hookups that quickly became relationships so it’s the same thing” — which is mostly my experience too, so I didn’t understand why men were so convinced these were totally separate categories… maybe the difference and the reason the conversation seems confusing is that some of us have never actually been in a situation of ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 05:29 PM
3

Maybe you don’t. But most people, when they have their own place and a 7-figure job, move through the world and interact with others much differently than they did when they were trying to scrape coins out of the couch cushions for Taco Bell and arguing with the power company (if they ever experienced this.)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 03:41 PM
3

Simply not feeling precarious improves the way you come off to others. It's hard to explain, but a sense of personal security DOES translate into the way people perceive you. It's not something you can always detect for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 03:22 PM
1

Countless seems a little dramatic of a frame to put on that. There's just as many women in this thread saying they have the same threshold of attraction for either situation, or that they screen men for relationships via hookup. Look at all the posts in this very thread of "my husband was a hookup at first and so were my last 3 boyfriends." It's not "very hot men are for hookups and blah whatever men are for relationships." It's that you'd typically RATHER a relationship with a man who is over y…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 03:21 PM
-1

No, I make it sound like women have good reason to be cautious, and any man who is ungracious about that caution has a much higher chance of being a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:26 PM
4

Honestly livestock vet is a pretty attractive profession. You should see my mom watching Dr. Pol.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 02:18 PM
0

Can’t get pregnant Far less risk of most STDs Much less likely to be physically harmed or killed in the process of trying to date (not that it doesn’t happen, just less) If sex is available to them they are USUALLY not judged harshly for accepting it regardless of the circumstances Far, FAR more likely to orgasm during heterosexual sex and especially with someone new. The orgasm gap is real. Step it up fellas.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 12:03 AM
1

If y’all have that kinda money go for it. Not even as a gendered thing, just lots of folks do sleep better alone in a bed and it’s always nice to have your own space you can do what you want with. Some people get hung up on how it looks if a couple sleeps apart so they don’t even try it, works well for some and not for others. I don’t think most people can afford that (or at least they have a more important use for any spare rooms) though. More affordable versions of this that are also worth try…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:51 PM
19

I get you in the sense of having been fat as a young teen and then I lost weight and became much more attractive in the span of less than a year. The difference in how people treated me was astonishing and depressing. Like, former bullies suddenly being genuinely friendly, a guy who’d rejected me for a hotter friend suddenly acting interested… it definitely feels gross. There’s still people who will like you for you, and the little voice in your head going “would they have liked me before” is us…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:28 PM
17

One of a few things is happening in this situation. VASTLY Most common scenario: The approach was rude in some way — he interrupted her in the middle of something she was enjoying (like talking to the friends she came out with) or in an inappropriate context (like at her place of work) or he tried something sneaky, manipulative (negging) or over-horny/too intimate too fast instead of just a normal introduction. Semi-likely: His approach wasn’t rude but made it obvious he was not what she thought…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 11:02 PM
27

Adult women want adult men. Most grown women looking for a long term partner want someone who shows hallmarks of being responsible — having your own place and being able to hold a job long enough to be promoted and given raises suggests she’s not going to need to drag you along in life, you display obvious outward signs of making a good partner and even father if kids are one of their goals. These successes raised YOUR confidence level. Even if you don’t immediately feel it, your comfort and sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 10:30 PM
5

Yeah that last sentence kind of says it all, like why would we shoot for less with more attractive dudes, kinda doesn’t make any sense as a theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 10:04 PM
3

Totally agree with that first thing - sure I’ll compare fictional characters and celebrities at different levels of hotness but when it comes to engaging romantically OR sexually with a real life man, in terms of physical characteristics either you’re attractive enough or you’re not. If you pass I’ll have specific features that I like but I t’s honestly not that complicated a calculation on the physical side. I feel like a lot of men overthink it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 10:01 PM
3

Sorry man I think she was just being mean on purpose. Most male-female couples I know who got together over the age of 20 started casual to some degree and just didn’t stay that way long as both wanted to lock it down.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:42 PM
0

I don’t think I’ve really had “hookups” as its own category with men. After high school (one boyfriend) both of the men I dated (one of whom I am now married to) were initially not intended to be serious but in both cases we both caught feelings fast. The threshold of “man I would hook up with” and “man I would date” is precisely the same in terms of physical attraction. It is other non-appearance qualities that determine whether they are a short or long term prospect.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:33 PM
2

It's fine as "part of the vetting process" if you do it before you ever even have sex. Ideally within the first 3-5 dates. You're establishing compatibility and ruling out dealbreakers at that time and anything you say isn't really personal at that stage. The really cruel and awful people are the ones that go along letting their partner believe they are trusted only to then say "actually I see you as a potential whore" AFTER they're carrying that person's child. (Because why would you have impre…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 02:01 PM
1

I am happily married but do not have children because I think making a human being is the most serious thing a person can do in life and I'm not confident I can do it well no matter what... so I don't do it. It's that simple. A child is a whole ass human being with their own mind and subjective experience and for many years they have NO ability to defend themselves from the cruelty, carelessness, incompetence, or selfishness of their caretakers. I donate to kids' charities, I help my friends who…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:25 PM
2

I always recommend not marrying and ESPECIALLY not having kids with someone until you have lived with them during a time of crisis. Job loss, death in the family, caring for someone they love who can't care for themselves, severe illness, you have to see what they're like when the heat is on - both when it's on them AND when it's on you. That could take 6 months or 10 years, depends on you and your partner. Frauds usually show who they are under these circumstances. This is less about fault than…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:45 PM
2

Oh no, not at all! You can have physical standards, but: It's better if they're controllable (even with considerable effort) You come off as a hypocrite if you're afraid of being judged for something you are also judging others heavily about The tighter your standards, the narrower your dating pool. It's okay to have intense standards IF you are comfortable with the possibility that no one who meets them may want to date you. Intense standards should go hand in hand with enjoying your own compan…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:30 PM
-4

Honestly I 100% agree. Most people who place the blame for dating failure on something out of their control are ignoring things that ARE in their control because change is hard, and that demonstrates a lack of discipline and honesty with yourself. Making those kinds of excuses is way more unattractive than pretty much any uncontrollable disadvantage you could have, and being "borderline delusional" confident about it not being an issue is actively attractive. I had a friend in college who was fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:23 PM
3

In most cases, I put the blame on both because both had a hand in making the child's life worse. If people's stupid drama is hurting a child, I really don't give a damn how either of them feels. They typically both bear some fault. As I have said elsewhere: yes there are brilliant con artists out there who are 100% at fault, and yes people sometimes experience severe mental illness and trauma that causes them to do a 180 on who they are as a person. These cases are rare though. I don't know why …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:13 PM
0

You can, but you shouldn't. You're making human beings, tying yourself to another person for life in a way marriage can't hope to touch. Why anyone would do that if they still have suspicions about the other person is beyond me. If something "smells fishy" after you have had kids, one of the following is true: You did a bad job choosing who to have kids with Your partner is such a brilliant con artist that they got through the ENTIRE process of building up that trust without ever being detected …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:54 PM
6

Both things can be true. A dad can be deadbeat, and his partner can have failed to do due diligence. Obviously there will be people who manage to play a long enough game that they fool even a careful partner into thinking they're someone they really aren't, or people who lose their minds and walk out on their family... but a lot of people, men and women alike, REALLY do not take choosing the other parent of their child seriously enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:47 PM
8

"Don't blindly trust someone" Yeah. Don't reproduce with someone you just met. Do not reproduce with your partner until and unless you trust them completely. It's that simple. If you are incapable of fully trusting someone without hard evidence to back up your positive assumptions of them, either get therapy or get sterilized because kids need and deserve parents who are a true team, not a couple of self-obsessed idiots acting like teenagers. Having kids is serious and it really bothers me how c…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:44 PM
11

If you can't trust anyone ever again, don't reproduce at all. Get a vasectomy or an IUD (depending on your equipment) and make sure you don't create entire human beings just to be an audience for your drama. Kids didn't ask for that and deserve better.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 01:40 PM
10

doesn’t fap Minor flag for possible issues here. This isn’t a positive, it’s an indicator of a mindset that may be causing trouble. Masturbation is normal, healthy adult behavior. He sounds like he’s a little obsessed with himself. I would ask him what he wants out of a relationship and what type of woman he’s hoping to meet. (If he starts rattling off statistics instead of imagining how they might relate to each other and what her personality is like we have trouble. We have DOUBLE trouble if h…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:30 PM
38

Solution: don’t reproduce with someone you don’t trust to be faithful and a good parent
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 12:19 PM
14

I mean i do understand its intentionally to be unhelpful but yeah. Genuinely don't think anyone intends to be unhelpful. If I had to guess, it's probably because most people, men included, would prefer a long-term serious relationship if given the option. For most people that will result in both desirable companionship AND more sex than seeking one-night-stands (as a long-term partner is likely to agree to sex more often than strangers will unless you're the hottest man on Earth.) The average ro…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:56 PM
28

Better to be with no one than the wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 05:14 PM
3

This isn't a gendered thing, it's a personal thing. Some people can't be happy without a romantic partner, and some can, regardless of being men or women or whatever. I'm not speaking on a spiritual or emotional level here, I'm saying that on a pragmatic, logistical level women need men less than they used to, whereas men's practical-level needs for women remain unchanged, thus the relative need has shifted.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 01:25 PM
2

I think this is more or less true in most western & first world countries, mainly because improving equality means more freedom and economic power than women ever had before - many can afford to live alone, and plenty are content with their own company (especially when the alternative is a mid husband who adds to the labor demand at home instead of helping with it) so in order to be worthwhile, a man has to IMPROVE upon happy solitude. No one wants to admit it, but men are romantically needier t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:58 PM
5

As someone who has lived in both Korea and Japan: Hahahahahahahaha. If you think it's not competitive, good luck lmao. I've known western men who have done very well for themselves but - big shocker - they're good looking, reasonably charismatic men who pretty much did fine back home too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:10 AM
1

The ideal partner has a passionate interest or hobby that: I can manage to be at least semi conversational about (including ones I don't understand yet but might enjoy learning about or at least listening to talk about) That does not typically do damage to people, pets, or property and is reasonably pleasant to be in the presence of, not overly offensive to any senses (loud, smelly, whatever) That doesn't cost overmuch or cause potentially living beyond means/requiring sacrifice to support That …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 12:00 AM
0

If a woman starts a negative rumor about a man, women will avoid that man just because they don’t want to be looked down on by other women. They’re afraid of being the odd one out. In my experience most of these "rumors" are written in pain and smart to heed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/24 11:10 PM
1

I give this advice to women and men and everyone else alike: if you can’t find a partner and you’re fixated on it being due to reasons you can’t change by yourself (things like height, bone structure, breast size or virginity) you are probably shielding your own ego from the real issue, because you know deep down it will take work and vulnerability to address, and that’s hard. Much easier to say it’s everyone else who is wrong and declare yourself doomed and/or give yourself permission to deceiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:10 PM
1

The main character of romance novels for women is typically meant to be an insert of the reader. The MEN may be unrealistic but the female main character seldom is. It’s not a blaming men thing - If what you want is to attract women you need to look at what you can do to make that happen, not what women should change to be attracted to you. Being pessimistic and judgmental will repel more women than virginity every time. Bottom line is: Lying is a fine way to get laid and a terrible way to find …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:31 PM
1

Generally agree with making early stage judgments about someone based on who they choose to hang around. No one is obviously not ideal - not only is there a possible personality issue as you say but I wouldn’t want to be someone’s ONLY social connection. That’s a recipe for unreasonable expectations. Even just a couple good quality close friends and a handful of hobby acquaintances is cool but someone who’s not close with ANYONE or whose friends are all people I can’t stand probably isn’t a good…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:26 PM
1

Ever read Outlander? It’s one of the most popular smutty romance novels for women in the world, even got a TV adaptation. The female main character is experienced and her male love interest is a virgin. More women are into it than you think but the ones who will go for it aren’t the ones who just want sex and you’ll probably have to wait longer into the relationship to have sex with them. Yes it makes it harder to find a fling. It doesn’t make it harder to find a serious relationship. The key is…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:18 PM
3

I think the vast majority of people do not see non-interactive porn as infidelity, and most healthy adults understand that other adults need their alone time even in a relationship. As in most aspects of a relationship, people whose preferences deviate significantly from what is common bear the responsibility of explaining that within about 5 dates or so to give their partner the opportunity to decide if that’s a dealbreaker or not. Someone who doesn’t want their partner to EVER view ANY porn sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:56 AM
1

Not gonna find ‘em with that attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:44 AM
1

I feel sad that this idea is so prevalent. I guess if your goal is just to get laid it makes sense. But if you’re looking for someone you share values with who will love you for you, you shouldn’t lie, you should go on that journey of discovery together with someone who’s excited to join you. That said I don’t personally think virginity matters so I probably would be understanding if a man said he fibbed a little when we first met or something - as long as he would be equally understanding of a …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 11:01 PM
1

It’s funny: I’m pretty sure the answer is higher for one ex and lower for the other and it was mutual in both cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:58 PM
1

I feel bad that men have to be constantly feared, especially where children are concerned — men are more likely to be chased out of spaces (e.g. a park) if they’re not with women or children and less likely to be assisted when appearing to be in need alone in public. On the flip side I deeply appreciate men who bear that burden with grace and go out of their way to avoid being scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:45 PM
–

I’ve been pondering this and I think there’s something to it, and the reason for pushback is that in this day and age people tend to filter their potential romantic interests a lot more strictly from an earlier phase. So it seems like people these days may be more likely to try to learn the stance of someone they’re dating, and rule out/dump disagree-ers before they have a chance to really fall in love in the way you’re describing here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:36 PM
–

This isn’t about weight or stretch marks. It’s about people who lose teeth (yes being pregnant can’t permanently change your teeth!) whose abdominal muscles never recover, who see issues like blood pressure problems or autoimmune disorders appear or worsen and never get better, there are REAL problems real people face as a result of pregnancy and childbirth that go far beyond cosmetic. For some it’s worth the risk, or they know they personally are likely to be low risk. But it’s disingenuous to …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:29 PM
–

It’s interesting the genders you choose here — do you feel it works equally both ways? If a childfree man is in love with a woman who wants children, he will “get down for it”?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:25 PM
–

You don’t marry that guy if you don’t want kids. Only someone truly out of their mind would marry someone without already explicitly agreeing on how many children you both want and on what approximate schedule.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:24 PM
–

Dead serious question and you are welcome to DM me if you don’t want to be specific in public, is there a specific product or program you’ve found that looks good? (In addition to community etc.) - I’m always interested in investment possibilities to guard against those kinds of issues
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:20 PM
–

I don’t know, no matter how much we hope children will take care of their parents, we can’t force it. They’re their own people at that point — maybe they choose to live somewhere far away for family or career reasons, maybe they have their own children who have expensive and time-consuming medical issues, maybe their chosen calling doesn’t leave them with much extra in the time/money budget, maybe they spent their life savings escaping an abusive relationship, maybe their partner’s family is muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:18 PM
1

I don't think you really understand what emotional damages are in a legal sense, or how they are applied. I get the sense you imagine that this is something that happens a lot more and a lot more freely in a legal context than actually happens. In order to actually sue successfully for emotional distress or damages, you usually must be able to prove your emotional damages in some way. Simply saying "I am upset" is not enough. Saying "I might get upset" is not enough. Saying "this situation is up…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:59 AM
1

Nnno, you don't get to use forced birth as a whip to punish what you consider to be life choices. The pregnant person gets to decide. Fortunately, around the world, only 65 out of nearly 200 countries limit abortion to any serious extent, which means that 68% of the world has decided at the legal level that forced birth is unacceptable. Time to get with the program. Or hey... you can move to checks list ...I hear Somalia is nice this time of year?
/r/MensRights10/12/20 06:38 AM
1

They have to decide or accept no use of contraception during the consensual sex Orrrrr they use contraception, even very effective contraception used correctly, and she gets pregnant anyway, because it happens sometimes. Not that how she got pregnant matters. The fact is that as the person with the pregnancy, she should be permitted to end it, no matter how it came about. The "child's life" is only "moot" because it depends on the continued donation of blood and tissue from the mother. Like any …
/r/MensRights10/12/20 06:13 AM
1

It's not though, because he doesn't have to carry it, that's my point.
/r/MensRights10/12/20 05:54 AM
1

The developing infant is just as much of the man's body as the woman's. No, I comprehend just fine. You somehow think pregnancy is irrelevant.
/r/MensRights08/12/20 11:35 PM
1

Obviously that's the ideal -- that people will decide before they have sex what they're gonna do in the event of an accident and stick to it -- but ultimately you can't force someone to stay pregnant or end a pregnancy if they lie or change their mind. It's just... unfortunate. I'm kind of half on your side, I think the government should pay child support, not an unwilling parent.
/r/MensRights08/12/20 09:32 AM
1

So you think that what... women should be celibate.... except for with you? Is that it?
/r/MensRights08/12/20 09:17 AM
1

So the man has to be pregnant for 9 months too? News to me...
/r/MensRights08/12/20 08:53 AM
1

If the condom failed, the semen still got in there. Your fault for having a shitty condom. Just don't stick your dick in anyone and you can 100% guarantee no problems like this. (Also, surely you realize that if every woman followed your advice, there would be no one for you to have sex with in the first place because they'd all be celibate?)
/r/MensRights08/12/20 08:52 AM
5

walk at my own pace This one hit me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:56 PM
3

I feel like it's a little mean to equate a vasectomy to being "neutered." Neutered means removal of the testes and therefore cutting off male hormones and masculinity. Vasectomy is just cautery of some very specific tubes - all the bits still function just fine and hormones are intact, they just can't get anyone pregnant. Making the choice to not have kids and then taking action to make sure that you don't get anyone pregnant is perfectly masculine.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 02:47 AM
1

This is essentially what happened to me. I met my now-husband on a college campus and he had frame for days, I fell right in line. (Well, that's oversimplifying the process, but that was the end result anyway.)
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/14 05:13 AM
6

To make the outside match the inside. It's easy to talk like a "good woman" or a "good man" won't care about social issues surrounding a relationship or what outside people think, but it can really get in the way of your life depending on where you live and what the standards there are. It can cause problems with family, employment, and generally living in a community if "living in sin" is an issue where you live. (It is an issue where my husband and I live, and that did influence our choice.) B…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/14 05:09 AM
4

Great comment - my husband and I were in a long distance relationship for around a year, but I think he had already decided he wanted to marry me eventually. (We were living in the same building for five months before we were LDR.) Even with that level of commitment and desire, it was STILL really tough for both of us, and you're so right about the other men in your life thing, I had to practically become a hermit to make it work... but I did, and it did.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/14 06:28 AM
5

This is basically what I came here to say. I often have shorter hair (like OP's friend, my hair usually grows out poorly, I've done every remedy in the book to no avail, I think it's genetic) but I always ask my husband before I get it cut. Fortunately he has a thing for short haired girls so he's usually enthusiastic about it. But I always get his approval before I do any appearance change that can't be immediately reversed.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/14 04:49 AM
4

If a woman can abort up to x weeks, then a man should be able to sign away his involvement up to x-2 weeks. (To give her time to get an abortion if she doesn't want to raise it alone.) This would mean never seeing the kid again but never paying a cent for it either. Edited to add: And failing to inform a suspected father of a known pregnancy should be just as criminal as a doctor giving a woman false information (not common, but has been done by anti-abortion doctors.)
/r/TheRedPill01/05/14 10:46 PM
2

Like other posters, I don't really care if I'm in the mood or not. Unless I'm sick or there's some major issue, he gets it when he wants it - usually I end up in the mood even if I wasn't originally. (It helps that I don't really mind whether or not I finish.)
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 05:03 AM
1

I work in an elementary school where the dress is fairly casual. I usually wear a dress, jacket, and leggings or tights. Sometimes I wear skinny jeans and a button down or shirtdress. Next year I'll have to formal-up my wardrobe though, I'm moving and I've heard standards are stricter where I'm headed.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/14 04:57 AM
30

SNIP: Smile, nod, ignore, proceed. Phrases I've found helpful in executing SNIP: "That's really interesting." "Thanks for offering/mentioning that." "You've given me something to think about." "Hmm. Let me sleep on it." "I need some time to consider that." Then change the subject and never bring it up again, and if she brings it up again, give the exact same response. If she's smart and not excessively rude, she should catch on that she doesn't get to make decisions about your lifestyle, your re…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/14 01:30 AM
1

Your pictures should demonstrate a couple of those interests for you. (Dirtbiking is a great example.) Talking about them is pointless. Resist the urge to vomit information about yourself. Don't build the whole building - give them only the scaffolding and let them construct the rest. Girl imaginations are a powerful tool, if you don't kill the mystery before it's had a chance to build.
/r/trpGAME26/04/14 01:13 PM
3

This is going to sound a little strange, but my husband I have discussed this, and agreed that there are circumstances under which I wouldn't be too upset about him having sex with someone else. It's not at all like what this article describes, but I understand that most men naturally crave variety and if that was something that he wanted enough to go after it, we have a few rules in place that would make that tolerable. (Obviously I would not be stepping out at all, under any circumstances.)
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/14 11:07 AM
2

Totally red pill, though if you ever tried to explain the idea to him he'd give you the people's eyebrow and tell you you're thinking too hard.
/r/TheRedPill25/04/14 11:52 PM
7

Ah, the reflexes thing! Yeah my husband has insane spatial reasoning, mine is awful. I remember the first time we were going to shop for furniture and here I was carefully measuring everything (because I'm awful at that kind of estimation) and he laughed at me and said don't bother! I was foolishly skeptical but when we got home everything fit perfectly. It's like a superpower.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/14 12:47 PM
4

One of a million things I love about him: He believes in the "work smart not hard" mentality (though frankly I think he does both.) He is incredibly perceptive and clever and just always finds the most efficient solution to every problem. He's gone into workplaces and broken records for this and that without even meaning to only because he sees a smarter path that either no one noticed or no one bothered to try. Always impressive. :-)
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/14 12:45 PM
3

I care a lot about my appearance and continually want to maintain/improve it. (I would not be ashamed or reticent to save up for plastic surgery for this purpose.) The notion of gaining significant weight or "letting myself go" horrifies me. I love food but there is no food on Earth that makes me feel better than the desire of my husband. I enjoy many aspects of home maintenance and am a talented cook. (I admit to being a little lazy in the kitchen at times, but the skills are there, I just have…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/14 12:32 PM
3

It just seems a bit obvious to me. I find it odd that I see this being shared around my facebook with comments like, "Oh, those poor women back then" or "I could never fit in." But there's nothing astonishing in here, nothing oppressive, nothing difficult to be or do. I don't feel that these things are too much to ask at all. It seems mostly like basic courtesy. The pictures are a bit funny but the ideas seem simple and perfectly timeless.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/14 12:03 PM
2

I am shocked -SHOCKED- that no one has brought up Irregular Choice, the most gorgeously quirky heels on the planet. I have a couple of pairs and they're so comfortable and flattering, I never used to buy expensive shoes (anything above $50 is expensive to me) but Irregular Choice is soooo worth it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/14 10:49 AM
3

The ones that figured it out early or are easiest to mold are gonna be young. I got swept up by the man I was to marry at 20. If you have a good frame and RP mindset though, that age gap should be far from a problem. I have to wonder where it is you're looking - many women of the sort you seem to be looking for aren't going to be dancing in nightclubs or getting drunk in bars, or even online dating to an extent, though that might be a better shot than the other two. Your best bet is to find acti…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/14 09:15 AM
3

On the surface, everyone I can think of pushed me in a "you go grrl" "be a career woman" etc. kind of way. But that's not what I paid attention to. My parents are happily married in a very traditional way - my dad is the primary breadwinner and sets the frame, a total captain, and my mom stayed home while I was very young and worked part time when I was old enough to look after myself - she didn't work full time again until after I moved out of their house. Her opinion was always taken into acco…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/14 06:03 AM
2

Agreeing with this. If you don't have a romantic date, go with a friend! That's what I did and frankly I think I had more fun than I would have with a romantic date. It was a blast.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/14 05:40 AM
2

Aaaahhhh I'm in the same boat as you OP, I desperately avoid buying clothes that need ironing but there are some things that really want/need it... my biggest issue is that I somehow always end up with my iron dripping water all over the place. Does anyone know if this is preventable?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/14 05:35 AM
1

I am a bit floored by the total lack of self-awareness. I mean, it's one thing if you're just walking that path (sleeping with hypnotizing bad boys until you realize it's getting late) without realizing it, but this author seems to be fully conscious of it... and yet NOT conscious that she's calling herself entitled to give some poor guy the crap end of the stick?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/14 05:31 AM
1

Just chiming in, I met my now-husband at 20 too.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/14 05:26 AM
6

I think this is lovely - I do wish that faith wasn't seemingly required to defend a life choice that can be made perfectly legitimately for a HUGE variety of reasons... but then it shouldn't need to be "defended" at all
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/14 05:11 AM
0

Not a dealbreaker. I don't mind. I'd want to know about it but it wouldn't bother me as long as he's clean and has fathered no children. Provided those two things, I can't imagine why a man with a sexual history is a problem... if anything it makes him less of a flight risk, since he'd have had most of the experiences he was looking for, and it should be flattering that someone who has options chose you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/14 06:15 AM
8

Thank you for mentioning this. I live in Korea and so many dudes come over here expecting to find sweet, submissive women, and they're invariably disappointed (even sometimes finding a worse environment, attitude wise, than they did at home.) It's time to stop acting like Korea is a source for that kind of woman.
/r/TheRedPill16/04/14 06:02 AM
2

How much do you want to bet she's not even talking about The Hobbit as written, but in the form of the most recent films? Basically she's saying "not only do I want you to excuse me for failing to be well-read, but I also want you to excuse me for having the attention span of a fruit fly, because I can't even pay attention to a well-made MOVIE, let alone a book."
/r/TheRedPill15/04/14 05:28 AM
2

I wish the state stayed the hell out of it. Marriage should be a religious/social/community thing, not a state thing. If there were no social or legal issues to cohabiting without marriage, DH and I might have done that instead, as we're not religious and find our commitment a very personal thing just between us. There should be a "parental" contract, to be sure, and very specific terms in the deeds of large property bought together, etc. but when it's just two people staying together, I see no …
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/14 05:29 AM
1

I have IBS and lived with my husband in a studio apartment and this sort of nonsense still never happened and god willing never will. I wake up earlier than him to take care of most of my bathroomy/maintenance needs and I hope it always stays that way!
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 05:28 AM
2

Another only child here, also horrified by the idea of anyone being anywhere near the bathroom when I'm in there! I like my privacy thanks...
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 05:26 AM
1

There's no such thing as "the one." Just one of many ones that would probably work out fine. You don't FIND "the one" you pick one out of that pool and make them "the one." We met when I was 20, it was around six months before I had the idea we might end up together forever, and maybe a year and a half before I was certain. I didn't have much in the way of doubts once I figured it out. The decision to actually get married (as opposed to just live together committed-ly) was a fairly "realistic" o…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 05:21 AM
1

Question about this, mostly I'm in agreement, but is arm-shaving really necessary? I mean, I have thin platinum blonde arm hair and I'm wondering, should I remove it? How much of a big deal is this?
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 04:58 AM
1

I live far away from my family and friends, so social media is a big way I keep up with them... it's all about your SETTINGS! I totally post about when I have the flu or whatever, but I set it to only be displayed to my closest girlfriends.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 04:39 AM
5

Enjoyed this I feel like there's so much emphasis placed on being independent when you're young... it used to make me feel bad, because while I'm capable of entertaining myself, I am much happier with my husband, and any experience I could have alone (or even with friends for the most part) is enriched having him with me. I think that being a little dependent is OK, and girls like me who get married early because they find that partner and are happy shouldn't be accused of wasting time that we "…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/14 04:33 AM
2

Before cohabitation/marriage: It depends on the situation. If it's something that happened to him, that he did his best but a bad thing happened anyway, I would stick with him and support him while he fixed it, provided he made an effort to do so. HOWEVER if it was something that happened because of his own neglect and laziness and he had ample opportunity to turn it around and didn't, I would see it as a massive red flag and possibly bail. After marriage: Marriage is for life, not for "until I …
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 11:56 PM
1

Anyone giving you guff is NOT inside your relationship, they're outside it, even your own parents, so they don't get a say. If your husband wants a kid, and you want a kid, heck, don't delay! The younger you get started the better your odds of a healthy pregnancy that you can bounce back from physically without as many problems -- not to mention you'll have the time to do the same a few more times at least! :-) If you know what you want, there's a lot of benefits to starting early.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 11:48 PM
2

I think women get more hung up on it than men because women's beauty is a much bigger % of their value. I do think that constant images of literally impossibly beautiful women can hurt the self-esteem particularly of less-educated teenage girls, but to suggest that we should try to change the media because of that is like suggesting we change the ocean because it's too wet. These are the images that sell, and they will be there as long as they sell, which will be as long as humans exist. The bet…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 11:36 PM
1

You can do the bacon butter thing with duck, too - I love to cook duck and collect all the fat/drippings/etc. and put it in a jar, nothing is more delicious first thing in the morning than a couple eggs scrambled in duck fat!!
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 11:22 PM
1

I don't consider myself a gamer because I don't think I have the skills to back up the title, but I play with my husband sometimes. We play largely co-op games - he's player 1, I'm player 2 (usually that means he's the main, I play support.) We don't like to play competitive games with each other, but co-op where I can learn how to help him out and support his mission are always fun. (Our favorites are Resident Evil 5 and Dynasty Warriors 8.) Edited to add: I also enjoy watching him play heavy n…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/14 02:28 PM
1

Yes, and in large part, I think it was a mistake. My Psychology degree is largely used as a placeholder - people want to see that I have a degree for a job? Here it is. But it's unlikely to ever get used for a psychology job unless I go back to school for an MA, which I cannot afford and don't think would be a good use of my time and energy anyway at this point. If I could go back in time I'd go for pharmacy. I wish every day that I had done exactly that. (It's honestly closer to my interests, b…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/14 02:04 AM
3

28, really?
/r/TheRedPill01/04/14 07:03 AM
8

I think calling her a "whore" is unpleasant, unnecessary, and unhelpful. He shouldn't do that. But the appropriate response to cheating is not to withhold sex, it's to either get over it together or split. Staying together just to torture each other should not be an option a reasonable person would consider. And frankly I find the "emotional connection" thing to be utter crap. If you want to start having sex again, just do it, don't worry about your feelings. A lot of the time, the feelings will…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/14 05:32 AM
1

I don't suspect it would make a difference, as long as you were attracted to the woman in question (due to your connection or whatever reason).
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/14 08:58 AM
1

I was just going to say rice cooker, you can do SO much with one!
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/14 02:32 AM
2

I don't like slut-shaming either (I'm all for staying out of other people's bedrooms entirely, I've no interest in shaming OR encouraging anyone for private lifestyle choices that impact only themselves) but it's quite infuriating that some women seem to believe that slut-shaming is wrong, but it's perfectly OK to shame someone who DOESN'T want to have sex with a lot of people. THAT is what is backwards thinking, in my mind. It's a sure sign of insecurity when someone tries to "convert" you to n…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/14 02:11 AM
8

I think part of it comes from a place of wanting validation. They've made the choice to sleep around, they're not sure if it was the right one, so they want other people to make the same choice to validate the one THEY made. But the choice to be monogamous or wait until marriage is just as valid as any other. Your choice of what you do with your body sexually is very personal and private, it seems so intrusive and rude to get in someone's business about it, unless they're actually hurting others…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/14 02:03 AM
5

I'm sure it's not true for a lot of red pillers who decide to marry, because they wouldn't marry someone who'd hold out on them... but I feel bad for anyone who marries anyone hoping anything will change about their relationship. If you want to marry, you should only marry when you already have things exactly how you want them. Like baking clay. There's no guarantee things won't change for the worse after that, but at least you have a good starting point, since whatever change you're HOPING for …
/r/TheRedPill20/03/14 01:54 AM
2

Etsy is an awesome resource for this - you can get stuff that's customized to you really easily (accessory-wise) and unique and interesting things.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/14 07:26 AM
2

fanfiction, online shopping, and Korean ice cream novelties.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/14 07:20 AM
1

I'm befuddled by the idea that someone would get angry about someone's choice for their own hair. Even if you don't prefer a certain hairstyle on yourself, what could possibly make you angry about someone else doing it, short of them shaving nasty words on their head?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/14 07:16 AM
13

I saw a video about how she kept it a secret and I think there's something nice about that too - she didn't feel the need to burden him with her complaints about being hungry or bored or feeling bad or any diet whining, she just did it and got it done. I feel like that's a good example I should follow... a reminder that just because our bodies are constantly on our minds when we're dieting, we don't need to weigh down our men with that stuff, they don't care, it's not relevant or important to th…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/14 07:03 AM
2

I experience this same thing, but I've had success with portion control - still make him all the stuff he likes, but have almost like "tiny snack" portions of the bad stuff so I can enjoy it with him... and then fill out the rest of the meal with lean protein or low calorie veggies. Or I separate part of the meal for myself, THEN add the unhealthy thing he likes (Like I'm making a stir-fry have it with no rice, but give him rice if he wants it.) If he wanted to lose weight or whatever I'd try to…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/14 06:57 AM
2

At some point this sort of thing becomes a preference thing. My husband has a bit of a fetish for short hair and tattoos. He actually got upset with me when I said I wanted to grow my hair long, even saying that if I'd done that before we'd met he might not have noticed me in the first place. He said he'd allow me to grow it a bit but insisted that I not let it get past my shoulders. ETA: This isn't to say that the idea is wrong (it's totally right) but that while a lot of what is boner-inducing…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/14 07:19 AM
1

This is one of the best things about living in a country where the "shower" is just a random part of your meant-to-get-wet bathroom. (No curtains, no slippery tub and lots of space!)
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/14 07:00 AM
1

:-/ It's not a fetish thing, geez. It straightens posture, makes nice lines under clothes, and reduces appetite. I figured that sort of thing would appeal to folks looking to be and stay feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/14 11:55 AM
2

Ha, good advice... I got a crash course in politely ignoring people's opinions during planning our wedding (when it seemed like EVERYONE had demands to make and I couldn't just go alienating them by laughing in their faces about it.) Rather than making a big fuss I'd just be like "that's interesting" and "thanks for letting me know about that" [immediate and obvious topic change.] Someone I know calls this procedure SNIP: Smile, Nod, Ignore, Proceed.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/14 10:31 PM
3

About to turn 26 - the marriage is less than a year old, but we've been together for five years. I'm not the most experienced person, but I'd dated before, and he was the first guy that ever put his foot down, the first one that ever even TRIED to keep the "frame" in his control, and boy did I resist that at first. I'm not a natural leader to start with, but I'll try to take the wheel if no one else does (and hate every neurotic minute) and no one else ever had. Finally I had someone at the helm…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/14 11:22 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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