pugaczalla Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
107	A bit bummed to see this post from a popular psychologist (over 3M followers). “Flow Exploration”... How different is it from a time-wasting situationship? Maybe I’m just getting old. Not sure what to think about this.	DISCUSSION	pugaczalla	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/02/21 10:37 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
31	The main character is catfished by some ugly guy but she eventually falls in love with his “personality”. Safe to say this is my least favourite film ever Exactly, the first thing that screams about the movie is a racist trope of an undesirable, nerdy, loser Asian male, even if it tries to revert the trope by making him 'win' her in the end. The premise is racist, period. This isn't a good movie for women and men alike.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/11/21 10:44 PM
17	Safety when dating men: Memorize a fake number Google voice? Great for US, doesn’t work everywhere though	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/10/21 12:10 PM
19	Safety when dating men: Memorize a fake number What if he calls or texts you right then and there to check if the number you gave him is real? I’ve seen that advice in the manosphere before. ‘I don’t have a phone on me’ or ‘my phone is broken’ aren’t believable lies and the guy might get annoyed and the situation gets unpleasant. The solution I see is to carry a cheap phone with a real number that you use for situations like this… Which isn’t great because ideally ‘no, thanks’ to a phone request should be enough and we wouldn’t have to searc…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/10/21 10:41 AM
11	quick and easy ways to vet: how to tell there is a mask in the first place After a while, it felt like I’m chasing him so I pulled back and he didn’t do much. It just slowly fizzled out until it died, despite quite intense beginning /another red flag/. After some time, his girlfriend contacted me having found my number on his phone and asked if he cheated with me. I was happy to provide her with every single message and detail ever exchanged lol as the sneaky bastard was deleting all of his messages. I wasn’t the only one he was cheating with. She just had a hunch and …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/10/21 09:52 PM
13	quick and easy ways to vet: how to tell there is a mask in the first place My number one biggest red flag is that he agrees with everything you say and want when it comes to a relationship, dating, marriage, children, where you want to live etc., especially when you give the answer first and when it’s early on. In this way, he can easily future fake, but you’ll feel like you’re on the same page. For example, I dated a guy who asked me what I’m looking for in a relationship, whether I want marriage, children and all of that. Seemed like we were on the exact same page as…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/10/21 09:21 PM
5	Ladies how do you plan to KeEp A mAn? Wrong answers only And we all know that there will be at least one pickmeisha who will bend over backwards for this ‘king’…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/10/21 06:26 PM
2	Conservative men can be so misogynistic that I can no longer tell the difference between reality and satire. 😂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 05:14 PM
65	Racist scrote had it coming I’ll never, ever understand this sort of ‘play’. I don’t know in what kind of cognitive dissonance these people live in. My partner is in a racial minority and I’d never, under any circumstances, think of calling him a racial slur, even more so during an intimate act. The thought of disrespecting him like that is just unimaginable. Do these people really just move on after such play that involves racial slurs? I’d never be able to just move on if a partner who I thought that he loved me called m…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 03:04 PM
7	Conservative men can be so misogynistic that I can no longer tell the difference between reality and satire. Oh no, my feet are size 8, I guess I don’t have a chance with this hot catch now…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 02:48 PM
73	Remember the ex you wanted to marry? Let’s all laugh together Ooooh this will be my emotional release post. My ex: Was following pick up artist gurus and their books and forums and used manipulative psychological tricks to score a date with me. Claimed that he dropped all of this stuff because he wanted only me. Well, 4 years later he was still reading those books as it turned out. Had secret social media accounts. Didn’t clean at all. When I had gotten serious with him, me and my mum cleaned his entire place. I continued to be the maid in the relationship…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 02:41 PM
37	If he wants an*l sex from you, chances are that he has the potential to be, or is, abusive I might be in a tiny minority, but I want to write about it openly in case there are women like me here. I can orgasm from anal stimulation alone. I like those orgasms better than clitoral orgasms. I never come from PIV alone, but PIV + finger in my ass send me to heaven. Gentle anal stimulation makes me melt and I have a full body orgasm experience. Naturally, I was curious about anal sex. I thought it would feel as great as finger or a small toy feel. WRONG!! I tried anal and I didn’t like it.…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 01:15 PM
13	Weaponized incompetence is a form of mental abuse. Oh no, repressed memory resurfacing. Ex: I can’t find x, where is it? Me: It’s here in the drawer. /drawer is two steps from us/ Ex: No, I’ve looked. Me: It’s in the drawer, I’m sure of it. Ex: No, it isn’t. Me - rage intensifies, blood boils Me: I swear if I open it and find it, I’ll… /opens the drawer and finds it/ Ex, mockingly: Yeah what you’re going to do? Hm? What happens? Me - does nothing, because I don’t know what to do but silently rage. I should’ve thrown away that thing as you did! B…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/10/21 11:37 AM
31	LIMERENCE: How to Stay Unattached In my case - happened to me once and it hit hard - limerence was a trauma reaction to behaviour of a particular guy. He was very likely a covert narcissist. He played the hot-and-cold game, kept me on the edge with his messages, sometimes was very affectionate and sometimes barely present. He played on my empathy very early on - he revealed his traumatic experience that made me be more understanding of him and created a false sense of intimacy very fast. There was always this hanging promise in …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/09/21 01:11 PM
64	Sex work is not empowering I’ll never forget a post on a popular forum that I’ve read several years ago… It was men discussing going to prostitutes. Paraphrased, but this was an essence: ‘I get a young whore, pay extra for anal and go savage rough on her, throw her around, pump her asshole etc. and she’s nearly crying. When I finish, I ask her sympathetically and pretend that I care about her: ‘So, what made you decide to start working in this business? Are you liking it so far? It must be tough sometimes.’ I do this so s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/08/21 01:50 PM
591	Imagine an unknowing woman finally gets her guy to go to relationship therapy and it's this guy. This is why we never utilize men for any type of therapy or coaching! Me pre-FDS: I’m sex positive and open minded, I respect other people’s extreme sex lifestyles, everybody is free to do whatever as soon as it’s consensual Me post-FDS: what if BDSM is a scam to remind women of their place, to keep their self-respect levels low and strengthen the association ‘man = power’ and perpetuate gender imbalance? And, why are so many men obsessed with turning women into slaves…? Is BDSM really entirely consensual then? Or are women collectively acting on men’s fantasy of …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/08/21 10:23 PM
102	Ladies, do you consider seeing a man once a week (every Saturday) as fulfilling dating? I dated a man for 2+ months exactly like this, we’d seen each other once a week on average and communicated via text otherwise. I had a gut feeling that it isn’t going anywhere and that it isn’t enough for my liking, there was no talk about making it official etc. Well turned out that he already had a girlfriend 😂 no wonder he was happy to waste my time but not escalate to a relationship. OP you’re posting here so your gut is probably telling you something. Ask questions, dig for some more infor…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/08/21 08:53 PM
68	FDS recommends being upfront about marriage/serious relationship goals to potential partners but FDS-Approved books say to never mention it? I’m cringing quite a bit here… It’s still very pick-me to reach out to a guy who told you upfront that he isn’t looking for a relationship, to keep him as a friend, and to lure him into dating by offering him access to your intimacy. You say that you’re happy to ‘use’ him, as if you think you have the upper hand here, but it’s you who secretly hopes for a commitment from him. I’m sure he’s happy to ‘use’ you too. You’ll gain nothing in this arrangement and you’re very likely wasting your time. I…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/08/21 04:17 PM
304	Women need to know never to ask Reddit for advice. This woman was violated and berated DURING SEX – her husband covered her mouth, accused her of being an attention-seeking slut and now has zero remorse. All the top comments are about how he needs mental help, might be trying sexy talk or a new kink how empathetic and kind he is I’m ok with yelling, situation has made his fuse shorter, he told me to shut up, keeps his hand over my mouth, yells at me not to lie Oh yeah, I totally believe that he is kind and empathetic! /s, of course	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/08/21 01:53 PM
30	My long distance boyfriend deadass just told me I should move to Iran,,, Long-distance and he wants you to move to a country which is on 116th position in terms of legal discrimination of women? So almost at the very bottom in the whole world? To a country which severely restricts women’s rights? Are you of Iranian origin too and have family there? Do you speak the language? Even if yes, think long and hard about moving there. Women flee Iran for a reason, especially educated women. No matter how low your self-esteem is and that you feel like no other man will ever l…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/08/21 11:22 AM
435	A TERRORIST murdered five people in the UK. Women should learn a lesson. (Context in comments) So, it’s collectively us women’s fault that an unhinged, mentally ill psycho shot a toddler? Hey, I’m not taking responsibility for that.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/08/21 11:55 PM
44	In a post asking reddit to ban incel subs after an incel shooting in the UK, comments that FDS needs to be banned But imagine the outrage of the whole world when a one, single woman would shoot a man in the name of FDS. We women in here would know that she doesn’t represent us and we never, ever advocate violence and murder and we never use extreme language such as ‘all men are scrotes’ (no, lurkers, we really do praise high value behaviour in men and want to partner up with such men). But who would believe us.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/08/21 11:52 PM
18	What is it about video games that I, and many others, find so repulsive? I’ll tell you why I don’t like video games and wouldn’t date a serious gamer. And when I tried OLD, everyone who mentioned on their profile anything related to video games was an instant hard pass. Because it’s a hobby that doesn’t engage with the outside world and it’s usually solitary. Because it’s easy to spend multiple hours a day on it and sit with a slumped back and thus neglect your physical health and posture. Because it makes a man disappear and disengage from the real world and the now…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/08/21 11:41 PM
14	i must’ve subbed to this ‘dating coach’ back in my pickmeisha days... No, he hasn’t responded yet 😆 *mods pls delete if not allowed I knew it was Hussey from the first few lines… Fuck him, even in my pickme days his advice didn’t appeal to me. Why? Because he advocates ‘banter’ for women as a way to capture guy’s attention, to write light, fun, banter-y texts to appear to be ‘the cool girl’. But this ‘cool girl banter’ only attracts LVMs. A HVM looks for connection and shows genuine interest, he doesn’t look for banter. I don’t fuckin need Matthew Hussey to teach me how to be fun and lighthearted to tiptoe around LV behaviou…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/08/21 05:30 PM
1	I’m obsessed with the FDS podcast and I love listening to it while at the gym. Are there any other podcasts that are female centric and focus on leveling up personally, economically, socially, etc. ? Authentic Sex with Juliet Allen - the only sex related podcast I can stand. She isn’t a radical feminist, but she and her partner are, in my opinion, HV people. It’s a nice change from sEx PoSiTiViTy, hookup and fast-food sex content out there which focuses on male pleasure and experience.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/08/21 02:55 PM
21	I’m obsessed with the FDS podcast and I love listening to it while at the gym. Are there any other podcasts that are female centric and focus on leveling up personally, economically, socially, etc. ? Authentic Sex with Juliet Allen - the only sex related podcast I can stand. She isn’t a radical feminist, but she and her partner are, in my opinion, HV people. It’s a nice change from sEx PoSiTiViTy, hookup and fast-food sex content out there which focuses on male pleasure and experience.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/08/21 02:54 PM
9	Why is it the most hideous men that are Ethically Non Monogamous (ENM)? I know a guy who recently decided to dab into eThIcAL nOn-MoNoGaMy. He is 37 and has a long string of failed relationships behind him, mostly because he never ‘feels enough spark’ or ‘isn’t madly in love with them like with that one ex when he was in his early twenties’, but he has no problem of wasting women’s time for months or years pretending to be happy with the relationship and using them emotionally and sexually. So, his conclusion was that evidently monogamy doesn’t work for him and it’s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/08/21 12:13 PM
45	looking for examples of hyper-competency and then low-value behavior Maybe this isn’t exactly what you’re looking for for this post,but: men shooting down your excitement and ideas. Were you excited about the amazing movie you just saw and want to discuss it? You’ll be shot down in a minute. It was alright, nothing original, there was a massive plot hole, acting wasn’t that good, he knows a better movie... And your excitement from watching a good movie is gone. Were you excited about the upcoming weekend and want to discuss plans? You thought about a nice trip, y…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	26/07/21 12:08 PM
74	How on earth is this romantic? “Romantic” definition: ‘conducive to or characterized by the expression of love.’ What a strange way to express love. The only pleasure I can imagine in this situation for a woman is being turned on by the thought of the act because she’s BDSM brainwashed and confuses domination and humiliation for love and affection. I’m 100% sure that when it comes to doing the act, there’s actually very little pleasure for her. But the society tells her that she enjoys rough and humiliating things, so she mus…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/07/21 12:34 PM
24	When did it “click” for you that’s what posted here/the principles were helping/helped you? Let’s start a list for others… FDS helped me to question my internalised misogyny, realise what compulsory heterosexuality is and to come out as bisexual. I was deep, deep in denial about my attraction to women. I spend my middle and high school years fantasising about my female classmate while rejecting every boy or dropping boys after kissing them. I still identified as fully hetero well into my late twenties… I realised that what I want from men is affection, admiration and for them to see me as a good and worthy person, b…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/07/21 11:17 AM
38	The Real Reason Scarlett Johansson Divorced Ryan Reynolds He’s perpetually in relationships and marriages with zero breaks for self-reflection in between. No matter if it’s Ryan Reynolds or an unknown guy, this is a red flag. I won’t be surprised if he moves on from Blake at some point in the nearest 5 years and immediately finds someone else, or cheats on her.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/07/21 01:04 PM
3	How can you deal with celibacy & accept it? I recommend a Juliet Allen podcast about sex. It is probably the closest sex podcast aligned with FDS (although not entirely, just choose episodes you like that align with your values). She doesn’t encourage hookups, calling it a ‘fast food sex’. She is against porn too. I’d rather have a solo session with some candles and dim light, do erotic self-hypnosis, touch myself slowly and the way I exactly like and let my fantasy run wild than let a random guy disrespect my body for 15 min of nearly ex…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/07/21 11:55 AM
17	What kind of mothers + fathers make LVMs? Emotionally immature parents who aren’t able to recognise their children’s needs (especially emotional) and the fact that children are their own persons. Daughters tend to internalise and blame themselves for being such a bad person and develop eating disorders, depression, anxiety etc., sons tend to externalise and act out, develop anger issues, get addicted, commit crimes etc. Weak mothers with no boundaries who pander to men their whole life: from her father/brothers to her husband to her son…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/07/21 06:09 AM
29	Childfree POV Fellow childfree woman here! Sometimes, I too catch myself thinking something along the lines of ‘how will I get them to treat me right if I don’t give them a child, their legacy?’ And then I stop because it’s my internalised misogyny speaking and reducing my worth to the biological function of childbearing. ‘Maybe I should go 50/50 since not giving birth makes me more equal to him’. Nah. We face an everyday threat of rape, harassment, abuse and violence from men (fathers, managers, community an…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/07/21 03:09 PM
20	After years of wasting my time going on dates with losers, this subreddit helped me become selective and considerate of my time/understanding how much skin I really have in the game. ‘You look smart’ guy - there’s more to it than just a low effort walk date. Any guy who’s ideal date includes something over-the-top intellectual like a date that consists of discussing philosophy theories, quantum physics, linguistic hypotheses etc. is a high IQ/low EQ type of guy, maybe even a cerebral narcissist. By saying ‘you look smart’ you feel the need to prove to him that indeed you are intellectually stimulating enough for him and can discuss difficult topics. Dates are for getting to …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/07/21 07:15 AM
57	Anyone else traumatised by their mothers having relationships with multiple men? I wish we could normalise dating without having to move in and blend families and all of that nonsense, especially if there are kids from a previous relationship. Yes, pick me mums are a literal danger to their children’s psychological development. By marrying or dating NVMs their give us various traumas. They marry all sort of dangerous and abusive men. Felons, all sorts of addicts, alcoholics, men with anger issues, highly controlling men, men with low empathy, emotionally immature men, men with untreated psychological issues, men with personality disorders, chronic liars, sexually promiscuous cheaters, men with dark secrets, pedophiles, extremists, for…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/07/21 03:31 PM
46	This is the most laughably pathetic thing I've seen in a long time. How about I’ll just be myself. If it requires so much mental gymnastics, it isn’t a good relationship. Women like her are spending so much energy figuring out how to be a good partner to someone who’s probably never happy with them anyways. Would any guy say things like that? I guarantee that her partner doesn’t spend a minute thinking how to be a better partner. Nah sis, always match the guy’s effort.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/07/21 04:31 PM
5	Could there be a more dumpster fire LVM tinder profile? I need to unpack with the FDS ladies Emotionally mature In open relationship Pick one.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/07/21 02:41 PM
177	Girl, you need the FBI, not relationship advice 😳 Do you all notice how it’s so serious that it’s beyond readers’ ability to give a helpful answer, it’s a job of a trained mental health professional (psychiatrist, psychotherapist, criminal psychologist etc.) to help such a man and de-escalate chances of him acting out on his fantasies, but SOMEHOW the Internet considers it fairly… normal? Like masturbating to mutilated rape victims is… normal, or only mildly disturbing, as soon as it isn’t acted out on? Pedophiles who masturbate to children’s p…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/07/21 02:31 PM
28	Stop asking why he did that—start asking if it’s acceptable to you YES!!! I just made a similar post (look in my history) - sometimes, look at yourself and how you feel about the guy. If you feel in any way deficient, inadequate, wondering how to ‘win’ his love etc., if he triggers something strange in you, if he does something you can’t tolerate, you have to listen to yourself and run! We analyse the shit out of men’s behaviour forgetting to listen to our gut. We ask about the subtlest signs of an abuser, the lesser known red flags, the manipulation tactics th…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/07/21 11:25 AM
28	"there's a darkness inside me" Chris Watts also used this reasoning. “Please, don’t judge me on this one time event, I’m a good person!”. He killed his pregnant wife and their two little daughters. Anyone who did something objectively bad and uses an excuse of ‘darkness taking over’, ‘it’s like it wasn’t me’, ‘I don’t know what happened’ etc. is vile and a potential abuser who will never admit his fault and take the responsibility and use it to become a better person. A good person who made a genuine mistake feels guilt and s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/07/21 03:50 PM
6	Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy I see we dated the same Irish guy!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 07:46 PM
208	Subtle signs of manipulation and psychological abuse They trigger a feeling of inadequacy in you. Their words or actions don’t matter, they might be using techniques tailored uniquely to you, but you feel like you need to be on your best behaviour, like you need to impress him because otherwise he’ll lose interest, like you need to hold his attention because he might slip away, like you can’t make a mistake, like you need to think a lot before you reply to a text or call him, like you need to prove that you’re lovable, like you need to always appe…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 03:42 PM
35	Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy Bilingual isn’t the same as a polyglot. Bilingual isn’t a deal breaker for me at all. I too tend to date men who grew up in the West but their parents are immigrants, or men who moved countries and speak languages of those countries.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 03:04 PM
50	Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy It’s a little bit different when you’re from a multilingual place. Speaking one language in a place like this is limiting and it’s understandable to not to want to date someone like that. I lived in multiple countries and I seek partners who lived internationally as well, or at least their parents come from a different country/culture. I talk specifically about highly intelligent polyglots who learn 5-10 random languages for ego boost and narcissistic supply. I don’t consider a person a polyglot…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 02:10 PM
296	Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy Polyglots I dated or befriended or some polyglots I follow online are of various shades of narcissism. They are usually quite self-absorbed, selfish, low in empathy, value ‘thinking over feeling’, call themselves ‘very logical’, they’re the cerebral narcissists. High IQ, huge egos, need for attention and constant praise for their accomplishments. They ‘love learning’ above anything, forgetting about actual social skills and empathy needed very much for connecting with various cultures. They migh…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 01:11 PM
615	Please share stories of some weirdly specific rules you set after that one guy No guy who mentions even once that he’s intimidated’ by anything related to me. ‘Intimidated’ by my TV, ‘intimidated’ by my job, ‘intimidated by <insert character trait>’, intimidated by this and that. Just no. No normal guy says anything like that. No. Just dump that guy on the spot, please. I have to bleach my brain because I’m having bad memories now. Also, no polyglots.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 12:46 PM
41	The guy is 55!!! 🤢 Absolutely! He’s a deluded narc, and she’s probably trying to constantly prove herself to him (‘I’m tired of being smothered by my wife trying to prove she loves me’). She’ll be devastated at first, but when she sees past his narcissistic mask, she’ll be free.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 12:37 PM
159	The guy is 55!!! 🤢 Ego bigger than his IQ. I bet this female friend thinks that she’s lucky to have a male friend, maybe even a mentor, who isn’t hitting on her. Lol both her and him will have a surprise: her because he turns out to be just like all other guys pretending fRiEnDsHiP to get into her pants, and him because he’ll end up losing the friendship, the wife and probably some family relationships too. Anyways, the guy is a deluded twat. I’ll take a slice of his confidence and audacity though and I’ll put it …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/06/21 10:41 AM
41	Level up for your daughter's sake! An interesting article about father LVM's influence on women's expectations of men and in turn their sexual behaviour Literally all of us who had a shit father (abusive/neglectful/addicted/cheating/low EQ/etc) KNOW that it would be simply better if he didn’t exist or wasn’t in the picture at all. We don’t need to read studies to know and feel all the negative effects of living with such a ‘father’. With that being said, I’m glad that the researchers are looking into it and taking it seriously. Honestly, my biggest dream is for the women to stop reproducing with various abusers and various emotionally immature m…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/06/21 10:25 AM
47	Men truly build their entire lives around gaining access to women Yep! Plus, always find out the reason for a man going vegan. The good sign is that in general, he cares about environment, empathises with animals, wants to do something good for the planet and that it’s a morally right thing to do, to reduce your meat and diary consumption. But, many of them (especially millennials) become vegan because ‘research shows that meat is bad for you’. Which is true, it’s better for your health to reduce the meat and diary intake. But be careful about men who became v…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/06/21 01:02 PM
66	This article makes a case against poly relationships. 'It’s good to have friends. It’s good to have multiple confidantes. But people aren’t just fungible widgets in a factory. You don’t just lump them in a shopping bag until your heart is full.' I’m 99.9% convinced that non-monogamy attracts a wide variety of emotionally immature people, both men and women. Some of them are narcissistic, some have low emotional intelligence, some are traumatised, some have low self-esteem, some are emotionally volatile, some are just lost. Most of them need a long-term therapy, not 5 relationships. They don’t realise that they don’t need to have all of their needs met by external force (a person). Emotional maturity and resilience comes from the inside.…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/06/21 06:12 PM
2	Keeping my resolve - leaving a professional victim. That’s great. As the therapy progresses, you’ll be able to access your feelings more and more and you’ll build a strong ‘core self’. Soon, it will be impossible for you to tolerate anything you don’t want to tolerate. If somebody is acting in a way you don’t like, you won’t feel the need to entertain that person, (over)explain yourself, argue your case, question yourself and your feelings, and look for external validation for your feelings. You’ll just know what you feel and cut the bullshit sho…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/06/21 02:51 PM
3	Keeping my resolve - leaving a professional victim. Why to let so much drama in your life? This post is tiring to read. Dump the guy asap and focus on levelling yourself up… Therapy will be extremely helpful since you don’t seem to easily follow your gut and feelings. Good luck!!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/06/21 02:26 PM
6	What other podcasts besides from FDS nurture you? I find that the most popular ones are conducted by males, gets tiring after a while. Authentic Sex with Juliet Allen. She isn’t a radical feminist, and isn’t 100% aligned with FDS values and has some episodes I disagree with, but I find her sex advice overall the best out of all the (libfem) garbage out there. She is in favour of connected, passionate, loving, tantric sex as opposed to what she calls ‘a junk food sex’, meaning unsatisfactory one-night stands and similar. Plus, she actually has a degree in Psychology as opposed to some ‘sexperts’.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/06/21 12:14 PM
13	“But I want him to know that I’m not a gold digger and easy to be with.” NO! He will take you on a coffee date and spend the money (the $5 😂🤣😂) you saved him on dinner with another woman who has higher standards than you do. Lol 100%!! Do I want to date a guy who goes on 3 coffee dates weekly and I have to ‘compete’ for his time and validation, or do I want to date a guy who does dinner dates monthly and invests in getting to know his dates? Scrotes who cry that we’re delusional for wanting dinner dates are the ones who date or strive to date multiple times a week and paying for dinner is cost-ineffective for them. Which is great, because we don’t want to date them, we want to date men with standards, who don’t ‘spi…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/06/21 10:33 AM
26	Dear scrotes, this was a discussion about how women in their early 20s DON’T want you, stop approaching us or this will be your future. Raise your hand if you’re in your early 20s and have NEVER been attracted to an old scrote, I’ll go first 🙋🏻‍♀️ A few years ago, in my mid twenties, was on a dating app. The oldest scrote who liked my profile was 67!!! Over 40 years age gap… I was everything but attracted 😂😂😂 First, I was amused, because hahaha grandpa, are you for real? Then, I was puzzled, because what is he going to do with me with that age difference? And then I was immediately horrified by the fact that he’s out there, liking and writing to women my age and very likely even younger ones. It’s disgusting, sleazy and ridiculous. The on…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/06/21 10:16 AM
33	She has his children and made her entire identity about him. Sad Oooh. I feel for her, because I used to idealise my exes too, particularly the one who made me constantly feel like I wasn’t good enough. On top of this, she’s a new mom, losing her identity for kids, feeling ugly after pregnancies destroyed her body. And she works full-time… This alone deserves a regular therapy. I’m pretty sure too that her husband isn’t helping much. Which makes him a shit husband, not the perfect husband, but love and idealisation won’t let her see it. She admires him like s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/06/21 03:43 PM
15	When LVM think being creepy as hell is romantic Is your ex Ted Mosby? Shows that portray stalkers and emotionally unhealthy men as romantic need to disappear forever.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/06/21 08:25 PM
25	I don’t know what YouTube is, I am a MAN though so please praise me for intending to look after my daughters. 100% this!!! Pretend bumbling idiot using daughters to fish for attention from women. Men pride themselves in being problem-solves; the way this post is phrased is not the way a man genuinely looking to learn would phrase, period.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/06/21 01:58 PM
6	I don’t know what YouTube is, I am a MAN though so please praise me for intending to look after my daughters. “As a man, how can I learn to do women’s hair?” The same way as me, as a woman, would do to learn to do man’s hair. I would watch YouTube tutorials described as ‘beginner’, ‘easy’, ‘simple’, ‘5 min’. This extends to any learnable skill, really, not just hair. But ‘I’m a man and those females are so mysterious, no idea what to do’ - classic sexist bumbling idiot. You know what to do, father of 2, you know. This question would sound entirely different if he asked for specific YouTube channel recom…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/06/21 01:52 PM
11	Always, ALWAYS check his phone I’ve listened to one episode of Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin? podcast. There was a couple in their 50s/60s, with grown up children, and the husband was cheating on the wife all throughout the marriage with multiple, multiple women. He, too, was otherwise ‘perfect’: a great husband and a father, attentive, generous, hard-working. They had a strong bond. The wife’s heartbreak was enormous. Their children turned their backs on the father. The trust between her and him was just beyond repair…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/06/21 01:55 PM
13	If your man isn't supporting your hobbies, it's time to move him along and replace him with a woodworking shop that does. I had a similar experience. Whenever we did something aligned with my interests, especially in the context of travel to a particular place and doing activities there that made me excited (I always planned them all and they’re activities that many people enjoy, like eating good food, city exploration, hiking etc.) he was not happy, didn’t try to enjoy himself or just followed along and afterwards would say that it was ‘just ok’ or ‘kind of boring’, ‘not what he would do’ etc. Then he wanted me to…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/06/21 08:27 PM
8	If you're still using dating apps, you're a pickme I agreed with you on dating apps in general. I’m not defending apps or men on it, I hope this is clear from my post. I simply disagree with you on the point that HVMs have busy life and do busy things and would never go on the apps. It isn’t just my ex - there are many, many outwardly successful, intelligent, educated men who appear to be HV but who are low in empathy, narcissistic, selfish, assholes, expecting sex on command, etc. Look at successful ‘techbros’, entrepreneurs, business owners, h…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/06/21 06:37 PM
33	If you're still using dating apps, you're a pickme While I do agree with some of your points like thoughts on Tinder (I also never used it for the same reason) or ‘selling’ yourself online, I don’t agree at all that a HVM would never use a dating app. Why? Because my ex was against dating apps for many reasons. He was exactly what on the surface women here would consider HV: highly educated and intelligent, good career, plenty of interesting hobbies, very well read, dancer, social. He was also a pick up artist and red piller, low in EQ, bad part…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/06/21 03:29 PM
39	Suble Translation - Find a bngmaid who loves you enough to unfold 3x her own baggage on herself with the hidden slice of P** addiction 🤡💩 LMAO what they gonna do when they can't find?? 🤣 Sis go 🧱🗑️ Can someone explain me what the fuck is going on with those sort of pictures having black and brown women being shown in them? I’m white as fuck and from a homogeneously white country. I’ve noticed that many pictures or Twitter messages or TikToks etc. have a similar message for black women (but not Asian/Indian/Middle Eastern women, I’ve noticed) - that somehow being very motherly is very desirable in a relationship??? All of these ‘treat him like a king’, ‘let him unload his trauma’, ‘spoil hi…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/06/21 11:24 AM
43	Rules of misogyny (taken from “feminist agenda” on Facebook) 17th: women are collective, men are individuals. If a woman does a crazy thing, all women are crazy. If a man does a crazy thing, he’s an individual who did a crazy thing.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/06/21 10:51 AM
7	So guys do expect you to be a live in maid just because they earn more than you do. Nevermind the fact that if he lived alone he would still have to do them. Why doesn’t he just fuck off then and divorce her? Oh, because he’d still work 70 hours AND would be forced to shop, meal plan, cook, do dishes, laundry, and clean himself which he obviously doesn’t want to do as having a maidwife is more convenient and much cheaper. He has tons of contempt for her anyways, he should do her a huge favour and divorce her. She’ll be fine with the money she earns. Another entitled low EQ misogynistic techbro twat...	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/06/21 12:29 AM
27	The bigger a dude, the nicer he tends to be. I don't even care about height from an aesthetics standpoint, but I don't date short men because they usually have a Napoleon complex and terrible personality. This could be a confirmation bias. You had bad experiences with shorter men and therefore you are more wary about them. My ex was 6’ and he was a pick up artist, red piller and was low in empathy in general. Another guy I briefly dated was 6’2 and most likely a covert narcissist and a cheater and liar. The best dating experiences I’ve ever had were with men who are on the shorter side or even shorter than me, except for one LV guy, and the two 6’ and over men I seriously dated were the worst. Wh…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/05/21 02:28 PM
31	Passing notes: Who wants to review some common pick up artist e-books being sold /advertised online and review for me? Exactly... I’m sending hugs to the naive early twenties myself. It’s ok, a normal and empathetic person wouldn’t know about those tactics. It’s great to be aware of them now though and spare myself pain and embarrassment.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/05/21 04:04 PM
5	‘No social media’ guys I was in a long-term relationship with a pick up artist and red piller. I was young and naive and didn’t know any of this stuff. All this PUA/red pill stuff was simply way too manipulative and calculated for my brain at the time. I didn’t even think it could exist. It is only now (mostly thanks to FDS) that I’m realising all the red flags and signs even though we broke up more than 2 years ago. He had no social media and was strongly against it, but throughout the relationship it did turn out th…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	30/05/21 01:53 PM
3	I posted a video criticizing scrotes believing women hit a wall and got this comment, with a picture of him to match ☺️ Ok whatever Yeti	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/05/21 10:18 PM
20	Underneath the mask is another mask, and under that is an abuser 😩 Hahahahhahah I’m laughing hysterically because he writes EXACTLY like a guy I used to date briefly, even the BDSM stuff (just not openly on the profile). The guy I dated also claimed he was fiercely loyal, valued honesty, was a staunch feminist, wanted a strong, independent woman, was looking for a deep connection. He also liked to be dominant in bed. This post is him to a T. He also turned out to be cheating on his (pregnant) girlfriend and is very highly likely a covert narcissist. I’ve read t…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/05/21 01:45 PM
17	How to Spot a PA Has an erectile dysfunction in his 20s/30s while having partnered sex (without any serious health issues that might affect it), but doesn’t have it when he wanks. Even if he gets hard, it isn’t ‘hard enough’. He doesn’t have a full, healthy erection usually. He might go a little bit limp here and there. Definitely not enough to call it ED or PIED, but something is off too. He might be actually ashamed of watching porn and admit it to you, and you might think it’s good. NOT!! He still watches it,…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/05/21 11:52 AM
5	Toxic polyamory and its insufferable, holier-than-thou BS I have very little faith and respect for polyamory and polyamorous relationships after one of the biggest poly gurus, Franklin Veaux, turned out to be a piece of shit as his multiple ex-partners came out as victims of his emotional, verbal and financial abuse. He’s an expert in the field, an author of several polyamory books, touring and giving advice on how to have a successful poly relationship and what? He’s a narcissist. Surprise, surprise lol. I don’t need to engage in polyamory to have a s…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/05/21 01:23 PM
11	Too many Pickmeisha’s are levelling up on their looks and not their mentality. It changes nothing except giving more men the illusion of choice. I have an unpopular opinion. None of these TikTok/Instagram women and celebrities who wear revealing clothes, bikini or lingerie, who put extreme make up on and use filters, and who do plastic surgeries when very young are HVW. They do it for attention and external validation and it reeks insecurity. If you’re insecure, you’re not a HVW yet and you’ve got work to do on yourself. None of the HV, confident and secure women I’ve ever met would embarrass themselves with thirst trap selfies or soft-p…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/05/21 11:01 AM
3	I don’t want his name on my doctorate. I’m thinking about changing my surname for the same reason. I don’t want my piece of shit sperm donor surname of my achievements. But I’d take my husbands surname if he and his whole family (especially men) were high value. If it never happens, I’m just going to change my surname to something meaningful to me.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/05/21 12:09 PM
3	Don’t change your last name for a man I want to add a different perspective on it. My father is a NVM and I dislike having his surname. It doesn’t feel like my surname. It feels tainted and I’m not proud to carry it. If I ever get married, I’ll definitely change my surname, especially if a husband and his family are HV people. I’d be proud to carry HV people’s surname. If I never get married though, I’ll change my surname at some point. But if this wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t change my surname so I support the post overall.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/05/21 11:28 PM
5	We’re both mid-30s lawyers. This is first date offer lol. I’ve had a guy ask me for the first!! date for a morning run in a local park... I didn’t know it could get worse than a walk in the park 😂 Like seriously, who the fuck thinks that this is a good first date idea 😂😂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/05/21 10:59 PM
32	Another woman is not yours to “offer” or “give” 🤮 Lol apart from all the wrong things already pointed out - bitch, I don’t give a fuck that you two find me attractive, are YOU attractive to me? I bet it’s a no. The sleaziness is disgusting even on the most attractive person.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/05/21 12:29 PM
64	FDS principles lands on a political news channel. A few FDS’ers in the comments defending this woman for setting standards. So many complaining dinner is expensive and she’s a gold digger for the bare minimum. Why the fuck they feel it’s right and normal to do a news video on it and voice their opinions like they’re god-given absolute truths? I don’t give a fuck about what this woman says (and I won’t be watching the video further because I don’t care about her opinions). We have a woman who states her preferences on TikTok. If you think they’re ridiculous, don’t date her and move on with your life. But no, you make a whole video to pick on her? What the fuck? I get that it might be triggering for som…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/05/21 11:48 AM
5	If you're really married, how come you're on FDS? The reason I love FDS the most is because it encourages me to work on my self-esteem and hold onto my standards. You all helped me to establish my standards and boundaries. It also strongly encourages therapy. Thanks to this, my self-esteem has never been higher. Plus, one of the wisdoms passed here is to always trust your gut (in the context of men). I’m internalising this message every day. Yesterday, I declined a sale offer to a man who seemed to be strange. In the past, I’d definitely ignore…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/05/21 11:10 AM
18	How abusers use your anger against you Because my sperm donor is exactly like this, I had sworn to myself as a teenager that I’ll never be in a relationship and will never marry. Of course, as I grew up, I’ve realised that not every relationship has to be abusive. Having an angry and abusive family member gave me the power to recognise them in wild and stay away from them. I can’t tolerate men who have a short fuse either. My childhood was ruined. I battle many issues stemming from growing up in a verbally and emotionally abusive hou…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	19/05/21 10:40 AM
102	Yes you CAN be intimidatingly beautiful and that's why scrotes don't approach you (a blessing in disguise)! I’ve read somewhere a great advice, maybe even here: don’t dress for a male gaze. Dress for a female gaze. How I see it is that ladies such as Dua Lipa, Kim Kardashian, Ariana Grande, sometimes Hadid sisters, and many Instagram and Tik Tok and Twitch stars dress in a certain way that generally looks appealing to men. With all the respect to those ladies, but in general, the way they look attracts LVMs. They are very sexualised by them too. When you dress classy, or fashionably in a high-end way,…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	17/05/21 04:12 PM
10	Smelly scrotes In some cases this is obviously a hygiene problem or some sort of medical problem (for example excessive sweating), but sometimes a guy smells bad to you even when he just showered because you don’t find him appealing on a biological and hormonal level. Your reaction is telling you that you shouldn’t mate with him because he’s too similar to you. His natural smell might be perfectly fine for other women though. Contraceptive pills can affect your perception of the guy’s natural smell and you mig…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	17/05/21 03:18 PM
16	Angry scrote texts me from another phone number after I blocked and deleted him because we’re not a match... Hahahaha exactly, I haven’t read past a few sentences because I can’t understand anything. His opinion doesn’t matter anyways. OP said she’s a researcher at Harvard... This guy was LUCKY to even breathe air around her for a brief period of time 😂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/05/21 06:24 PM
5	Bullet Dodging Chronicles: Where Are They Now? I don’t know and I don’t care 🤷‍♀️	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/05/21 09:19 PM
35	I don’t even know what to say to this. This is just really sad Congratulations on finding your mum replacement! Now wait a year or two and your mum replacement won’t fuck you anymore because it will feel too gross for her.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/05/21 09:04 PM
68	Woman spends THREE YEARS as a FWB, later feels resentful about it. 😔Ladies—we can and must demand more. She’s a side chick even in the marriage. One of many things I really love about FDS is that it emphasises the importance of high self-esteem. Imagine if she had it...	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/05/21 08:49 PM
16	I discovered I was an online side chick. Told the girlfriend, got a half-assed sorry text from the scrote, blocked him in no time. I was the side chick, it turned out! I dated the guy for 2,5 months. We had regular in-person dates every week after talking for a month on OLD. So, I wasted 3,5 months all together on him. He was intelligent, very educated, put-together, charming etc. too. Turned out he was cheating on his girlfriend. She even got pregnant with him towards the end of our dating. Many things felt off. He was protective and secretive of his time. I never knew what he’s doing besides work and meeting with me. He p…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/05/21 05:13 PM
43	How to make men pull their own domestic weight from day one. I found out through life experience that a HVM will never expect you to do most of the chores, cooking etc. without pulling any weight himself. It’s simply the LVMs and NVMs who do that. So if you’re struggling with housework, resent your partner for it, you’re the household manager etc., you’re in a relationship with a LVM. A HMW will either hire a cleaner or pull up his weight. I’ve found that in some cases his standards might be lower than yours, but if you voice your preference, he’ll simply…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/05/21 02:22 PM
6	Share your standards! I don’t date men who haven’t lived internationally or who didn’t have a chance to travel much. I don’t date men who “want to travel”. I date men who travelled, are travelling and are curious about the world. I just don’t have anything in common with men who stay their whole life in one place.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/05/21 01:16 PM
5	Is marriage good for women, or a liability to freedom? I don’t think women are downvoting you for wanting children. They’re downvoting you, because you put yourself in a very vulnerable position without a solid financial plan for having 4-5 children. Of course, you can’t have these many kids and work full-time too. But life happens and even if your husband doesn’t turn out to be an abuser, cheater, LVM etc., and leave you struggling after the divorce, he can have an accident and become disabled and unable to work, or he can die. One or more of your …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/05/21 01:29 PM
6	Indian scrotes discussing what they’d ask women before an arranged marriage. The audacity. I recommend a blow up doll, she won’t gossip, have anxiety or diabetes and will do BDSM anal any time you want. Because you’re not looking for a human being, right?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/05/21 09:28 AM
566	True crime and age gaps When I was 18, a man nearly double my age (35) developed feelings for me. We were flatmates, so I had nowhere to escape and because of that I listened to him a lot. One of his favourite topics was ranting about women. He thought we are collectively “fucked up”, “bitches” etc., and he would go on and on with examples proving our idiocy. When I rejected him, he said that “I don’t know what I’m doing”, he thought that “I was nice and innocent” and that’s why he chose me, “I don’t need to be scared”…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/05/21 02:09 PM
9	Scrote's GF can't meet the same standards as his anime sex doll Lol and I bet that he spends more money on that doll than on her	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/05/21 01:02 PM
18	Ghosted? Supreme Pickme Has a Solution 🤡 If you go out of you way to write a lengthy article about how you feel powerful over your “ghoster”, then he still has all the power over you. Sorry not sorry. Fuckin hell, ghosting IS all the closure you need! Not contacting him is dignity, demanding closure and trying to make him feel sorry for his action (he isn’t sorry) is the reverse of dignity.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/05/21 09:48 AM
30	Men’s fixation with younger girls really boils my kidneys. I had way more attention from older men when I was a teenager/in early twenties than I have now. I’m approaching thirties and I look better, I’m more confident and happier, I have my life together. I’m more attractive as a partner than I was as a depressed 20 year old. I don’t get nearly as half of the attention as I used to get, hmmm 😂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/05/21 09:19 AM
7	Billie Eilish and the teenager to Sex Symbol pipeline I see it this way: she feels empowered because she feels sexy and beautiful after hearing damaging comments on her weight, body type, boobs etc. for years which took a hit on her self-esteem. Does it mean that it’s empowering? No. It feels empowering to her just like performing in porn feels empowering for some women. “Look, I’m not forced to do it, I’m doing it voluntarily and happily”. But you are forced in a way, you wouldn’t have to do porn/get naked/pose sexy if patriarchy didn’t treat wome…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/05/21 08:45 AM
53	Words men use to insult us that are actually compliments? Let's get a list going! Opinionated (meaning: they don’t really care about your opinions and wish you’d shut up) High-conflict (meaning: they want you to shut up when you speak up/enforce boundaries/disagree/etc.) Judgemental (meaning: annoyed that you don’t accept just about anything) Gold-digger (meaning: usually just them being angry that we choose someone with actual career and prospects) Ugly (meaning: they thought you’re attractive, you didn’t entertain them/disagreed/showed them your personality that didn’t alig…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/05/21 05:19 PM
23	Ghosted after not putting out on a date Ugh just reading the beginning gave me a bad gut feeling. Glad it didn’t end up much worse when it easily could. Also, although he didn’t turn out to be a psycho, a NVM/dark triad personality guy would use your empathy (in this situation, you feel for him - he wakes up early so he must be tired now) and kindness (good thing to do would be to let him rest) exactly like this guy, in any other scenario. Your GUT knows, do listen to it. It’s a good lesson, we’ve all been there.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/05/21 05:08 PM
3	Educating my daughter on what men will say when she is confident and strong in her opinions, what are we missing? “No one will want you with that attitude” “Good luck finding a relationship” “Ok, ok” said in a patronising way “Don’t get so worked up” - especially when you’re even mildly passionate about something	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/05/21 11:22 AM
18	Things That Perturb LVM 🤡 Having anything bigger/better/more expensive/having more experience/being better at something. Anything that will make them feel intimidated or like he’s not the “teacher”, “patron”, and the one “in control”. LVM/NVM just want someone they can feel superior to.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	04/05/21 10:34 AM
29	Dick does nothing for me. Yes!! I have only had sex that was a slow, hot mutual exploration and experienced man’s genuine interest in my pleasure ONCE!!! in my life and that was when the Internet was fairly new and although porn has started to be easily accessible, men didn’t grow up with it. Afterwards, I’ve only had porn sick limp dicks: one was a rape-porn reenactment enthusiast (hard pounding, trying to do anal without asking first, choking etc.), one had an extreme porn-induced erectile disfunction to the point of n…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/05/21 07:10 PM
2	How far would your ex have gotten with you if you'd been following FDS principles then? Lol it might be it, this guy I dated also tried to appear busier than usual and that’s why I didn’t immediately block him. My thinking was more of a “wow, he’s a busy guy, no wonder he texts me only every few days, well, at least he puts effort in those messages”. Cool story, scrote 😆	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/05/21 05:20 PM
16	Let’s normalize calling scrote behavior for what it is! Manipulation, abuse, and lies Classic projection, just because that person was treated like shit by their partner, it doesn’t mean that it’s a true version of ‘love’.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/05/21 11:56 AM
9	How far would your ex have gotten with you if you'd been following FDS principles then? 1 year long situationship/FWB = now I would’ve ended it after first few texts because: 🚩He was texting me late at night only 🚩He would leave me on read for days/weeks 🚩“What’s up” and other generic texts with no interest in me as a person Over 5 year long relationship = now I would’ve end it after the first date because: 🚩It started with him using various PUA tricks 🚩He forced vulnerability as a tactic to create a quick emotional bond between us 🚩Talked about himself and his projects all the fuc…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/05/21 02:00 PM
90	FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH: Why we don't ask men out My ex was looking for casual hookups some time after we broke up. He told me that there’s this girl in his sports class that is into him, gave him her number, was very friendly with him via text and during classes, asked him out for drinks, all of that. Guess what, he was repulsed by her behaviour. “She’s too much into me”. He literally was looking for a hookup - yet still was turned off by her behaviour. He could “too easily” have sex with her. There’s no way of convincing me that pursuing a gu…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	29/04/21 08:48 PM
26	“At the end of the day, we love each other” 🤡 That’s why I’m so happy that FDS calls out on these behaviours and helps women to realise that they don’t need to tolerate unacceptable behaviour and/or abuse anymore. Let’s normalise dropping addicted/angry/depressed/abusive husbands who don’t go to therapy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/04/21 08:31 PM
60	“At the end of the day, we love each other” 🤡 Yes, because of the pity card of him having a history of child sexual abuse. Which is very sad but even more so he needs to be in therapy like yesterday x2. You can be understanding but everything has its limits - 7 years is long enough to realise you won’t fix him and it’s time to leave.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/04/21 07:56 PM
22	Divorce Him. It's not a woman's job to be your secretary and don't even let him start with the "babe where is my/have you seen my..." Men don't do this for us and it's exhausting to manage their lives for them. Run. I had an anxious reaction to this post. Just reading this made me feel suffocated. It would be my personal hell to have a husband like this.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/04/21 07:29 PM
151	“At the end of the day, we love each other” 🤡 Oh god if only all women would stop trying to fix their “partners” (meaning man-children). He’s a full-blown alcoholic who needs a professional help like yesterday. Mentally, he isn’t in a position to be a partner and a husband. Leave him. Not your job to fix the man. Or stay with him and become a ball of bitterness and anger and damage your own mental health.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/04/21 07:19 PM
50	In order to manipulate you, they don’t need to be more mature than you I’ve learned the hard way to stop Barbara-building. If you have to teach him to pick up his socks, sort his bills, wash the dishes or teach him how to wipe the kitchen table, you lost. You’ll be doing it forever anyways because he will make you do it by being strategically incompetent, slow or waiting until you lose patience, or just won’t bother and will lash out on you to fuck off and do it yourself if you care that much. If he didn’t care about those things before, he won’t care after you are…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	28/04/21 07:05 PM
9	OLD Red Flag Words & Phrases any variation of wanting a woman who ‘doesn’t take herself/life seriously’. Alert, alert, boring dude with no aspirations or personality. He clearly didn’t think for a second what he wants in a partner and is here only to waste your time. Next.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/04/21 12:13 PM
51	Where's the lie? I’m guilty of this clownery 🙋‍♀️ I’d cook, clean and iron for a guy who texted me ‘what’s up’ every two weeks. Lol I don’t know what was in my mind to do that for a casual hookup. Extreme men pleasing taught to me by society and my mother, I guess. Then, first thing I did for my long-term NVM ex is to clean his entire flat (it was extremely dirty 🚩🚩🚩) WITH MY MOM. And continue to clean, cook and perform for him at the cost of my sanity and mental health. Never again. I haven’t done anything like…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	18/04/21 09:54 AM
11	Facts. Me too! I was depressed and I kept getting worse. It weakened my immune system and I kept getting viral infections all the time and felt constantly tired and weak. The stress of LVM/NVM has a big impact on physical well-being too.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/04/21 07:05 PM
93	Stressful situations/Sickness weed out LVM/NVMs Ex: when I had pneumonia and was extremely unwell, he didn’t even cook anything for me. I had to call my mum to come from an another town to take care of me. Me and him lived together and I still had to call someone else 🤡 Current boyfriend: cooks for me all the time, whether sick or not, and takes an extra care of me when I’m feeling even mildly unwell. So yeah, NVMs and LVMs will act shitty when their kitchen appliance and mommy bangmaid is broken. HVMs will naturally take care of you because …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/04/21 10:36 PM
7	If you have to snap a picture of a guy, contact Deux Moi, and ask them to conduct an international search on a dude that checked you out but didn’t ask you out, then he’s just not that into you. 🤦🏾‍♀️ My ex-friend, a pick me, sat on a plane next to one guy for the whole, several hour flight. They talked a bit and that’s it. By the end of the flight she didn’t even know his name. They parted their ways. Then, she wanted me to come to the airport with her to search for this guy’s details, because she felt there was some connection between them. She literally wanted to press the airport staff to get his surname and to find his social media. I obviously didn’t go, told her that this is a very stu…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/04/21 07:40 PM
139	That fucking slug story broke me The same, can’t stop thinking about it and that she goes out of her way to explain him and put blame on her mental health issues or health issues. My heart hurts for her, what kind of life must she have had that she thinks this man loved her? She’s broken by abuse so much that she no longer sees that there’s zero fault of her in this and that she’s trauma bonded to a psychopath abuser and future murderer. “I love my boyfriend and he loves me. He just doesn’t give a fuck about me, is cruel to me,…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/04/21 01:40 PM
146	A post titled “It feels like he doesn’t care about me anymore” by the lady who was fed slugs. It started so small and “innocent” to evolve into her bf feeding her slugs less than a year later. Red flags evolve into life danger sometimes. She didn’t ‘love’ him. She was trauma bonded to him. The more unavailable, cold and shitty he was, the more pressure to perform for love for her. Trauma bond feels like love if you don’t know the difference and are used to hot and cold behaviour throughout your life.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/04/21 09:40 AM
37	PSA about hormones and hormonal birth control when dating and selecting This is exactly what happened to me. I was on the pill since I was 19. Met my ex few years after and although I wasn’t super attracted to him, it was ok enough. I had a low libido - now I know that it was also thanks to the pill - so it didn’t matter to me that I’m not that sexually attracted to him. Big, big mistake. Towards the end of the relationship we weren’t having sex anyways so I stopped taking the pill. After some time, the thought of even kissing him was just absolutely disgusting. His…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	08/04/21 01:55 PM
24	"I look like a goblin but I want a thin princess" smh 😂😂😂 Hahahhahah By the description, I imagined a fairly attractive man who’s ageing well, stylish in a nonchalant way, like a nerdy-but-artsy kind of way, with long-ish hair, lean physique and handsome in an interesting way. Literally everything in his description makes me imagine him like that. Unique, passionate, cute, tall, sexy, sensitive, intelligent... And then you see the actual picture. I want that delusional confidence pill too, maybe it would cure my impostor syndrome lol. I know the type. …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/04/21 12:34 PM
47	Pregnancy and Its Discontents Probably even longer than some months. My mum still pees when sneezing, 21 years after her last pregnancy 😬	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/04/21 10:49 PM
89	Pregnancy and Its Discontents Postpartum genital and pelvic pain that lasts 3 moths and longer. Apparently, a significant percentage of women suffer from pelvic pain for longer than a year. Women who had pelvic pain before are particularly susceptible to it. So, you get a free vulvodynia/vestibulodynia and other pain disorders in the genital area. This is the case both with natural birth and c-section. No idea why this isn’t widely talked about as many, many women experience vulval pain even before pregnancy.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/04/21 10:09 PM
124	Accept no excuses for aggressive behaviour from men. There are no excuses for a man to even raise his voice at you. Ever. My partner never did once, not even when he was dying from cancer. Firstly, I’m sorry for your loss. It’s beautiful that you shared your life with someone wonderful, caring and supportive. I wish you all the best xx Secondly, run at the first signs of aggression and him raising voice ESPECIALLY when he’s stressed, not EVEN when he’s stressed. If he gets aggressive when he’s stressed, he’s not prepared for adult life and it’s stressors. He’s incapable of being a supportive and caring partner. He can’t manage his feelings and shouldn’t even be in a relationship. …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	25/03/21 10:11 AM
70	OLD Cautionary Tales: I rejected men that seemed good on paper. I too had an experience with a great-on-paper liar. He was an Ivy League educated lawyer. Very cultured and intelligent. All boxes checked. Volunteered with children too. Turned out that he was cheating on his girlfriend. She got pregnant while me and him dated. She reached out to me, we talked, she showed me some messages from him. He was emotionally abusive and a horrible gaslighter and a liar. I avoided a covert narcissist dressed up as a ‘total package’. Since then I pay attention to everyth…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	23/03/21 04:13 PM
4	My mental health is NORMAL for the first time in my life! Same! I was in a co-dependent relationship with a LVM. I had depression which didn’t seem to go away - only worsen. The breakup was traumatic for me (because I was co-dependent) and it felt like I was dying. It was mainly due to me ‘being depressed’. Yet as early as 3 months after, I started to feel... just great. And it only got better and better. Turns out treating me like an unwanted, stupid and annoying object was causing the depression, who would have thought 😂LVMs literally cause depressio…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/03/21 03:50 PM
2	He was engaged the whole time we dated. Oh BOY do I have a story for you ladies ! Why is the story deleted?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/03/21 03:33 PM
6	What would a world made by women, for women look like? I disagree with most of your points. I don’t want the roles to be reversed and for men to suffer the same way (them deemed crazy, them being finally the ones who are scared, sizes which fit women etc). Nothing good would come out of it. It’s like Katniss and others fighting for the end of Hunger Games only to find out that their leader wants to hold Hunger Games for the oppressor (the Capitol) in retaliation. I believe that in the women-led world, there would be much less crime. There would be a…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/03/21 01:13 PM
56	Men that will not complay with the easiest of request to accommodate you 100%! This is NVMs and LVMs selfishness and low/no empathy again and again. This is what FDS truly is about, it teaches and warns against forming relationships with those men. Imagine having so little empathy that you don’t go outside with your dangerous smoking habit, let alone open the window. Imagine being so selfish that you don’t care what makes your partner happy and comfortable. I’m pretty sure that all of us met at least one low empathy male throughout life. Many of us have fathers and f…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/03/21 01:58 PM
66	A clown in his natural habitat What a prime example of a classless LVM, went on TikTok to see comments and he says that some people cAnT tAkE a JoKe. Lol it’s 2021 and misogynistic wEmEn StUpId jokes have no place in it - I wish women didn’t participate in entertaining asshole clowns like him	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/03/21 11:56 AM
11	Question about men on reddit, are they particularly low value, porn sick and sexist or they represents the general male population in the west? I agree as an immigrant too. I even stopped dating white Western men (with some exceptions, of course). Dating immigrant men has it’s own set of problems too, but I just can’t stand the LV white Western men.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	07/03/21 02:10 PM
20	"A high value man won't wait 3 months for sex" 100% agreed. Your comment is the best comment here. My spidey senses are tingling just after watching few seconds. He thinks he’s the alpha/HV where in reality he’s very likely an angry, controlling, entitled, low on empathy and potentially abusive NVM. This video screams red flags.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/03/21 12:00 PM
9	"A high value man won't wait 3 months for sex" I listened to like 5 seconds and I already know everything about the guy. He’s a LVM. The lion art, the Deadpool figure, some expensive looking bag, condescending and patronising tone, that body language... He looks like he’s about to get very angry. The type of guy who’s always right and has anger management issues. He’s personally offended that some women might want to wait a few months before having sex. A normal guy doesn’t care and either accepts to wait or moves on if he’s not ok with it. …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	03/03/21 11:55 AM
39	NEW FLAIR ALERT (and RANT, and public service warning): SEX ADVICE SCAMMERS How about Esther Perel? She has certificates in therapy, but I just found out that her undergraduate is in French linguistics and literature and Masters is in research on how forced versus voluntary migration affects people (cultural studies). I thought she had a degree in psychology, but she doesn’t. Now I have some doubts. I listened to one particular therapy session with her where the couple was trying to figure things out after it turned out that the husband cheated throughout over 30!! year…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	02/03/21 12:51 PM
74	Signs you're being preyed on by a pick up artist I’ll add stuff from my experience and knowledge. 1) They’ll give genuine compliments too instead of negs. No cringey ‘you’re beautiful’, but something more original. Might compliment you on the choice of outfit (stylish, thought out, great shoes, the colours suit you well etc.) or on something that slightly sets you apart. The reason is so that you’re pleasantly surprised because it’s different from all the sleazy ‘ur pretty’ compliments and you’ll be more open to talking to them. 2) Will instan…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	01/03/21 09:00 PM
12	How to break a trauma bond? Realise that you’re holding onto breadcrumbs. You’re holding onto something that isn’t there. You’re grabbing those crumbs of love and goodwill like you’re drowning and have no choice. When you realise that with full force, you’ll stop and think: ‘wait, why do I settle for this? I should deserve more. Fuck, I DO deserve more.’ Get into therapy and work through it and give yourself time, preferably without dating. When you start dating, BE CAREFUL. Your trauma brain will probably want to fall for…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/02/21 11:40 AM
1	Please talk some sense into me age gap Do you want to have children? If yes, imagine that you get pregnant at around 30-35 (after you finished your education and established yourself in the job market - please secure yourself financially before getting pregnant). Do you want to raise a kid with an older father? He’ll be in his mid to late forties and early fifties when the kid is very young. First of all, the pregnancy will be higher risk since the sperm quality drops after early thirties (aka dusty sperm). Second of all, will a fift…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/02/21 10:59 AM
7	Relationships may take work and effort at times, but you should not be working and sacrificing just to get the BASICS (love, respect, consideration, etc). Know your line and what it will take for you to fold and walk away, and stick to it. Virtual hugs sister. Been there done that. It simply boils down to not caring. All these theories, yeah, it’s nice to understand things, but it’s a lot of science for ‘I don’t care and never really cared or I only cared when it was convenient for me and made me boost my ego (because I fundamentally lack in empathy)’.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	24/02/21 10:38 AM
6	Dating as a woman irl: low effort coffee dates and disappointing sex Translation: I want my peepee in woman’s vagina. It’s unfair that women just exist and get sex and I don’t. I’m hunky and I have a job. Why isn’t that enough to get my peepee wet. What do I do wrong I don’t know. /s It seems to me that this guy is just another boring guy looking for something casual/see how things go/whatever and doesn’t even think what he wants in terms of relationship and dating and women can smell that from miles away.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	17/02/21 07:29 PM
6	tales of a HVM and LVM on Valentine’s Day Yep confirmed. The difference in how LVMs and HVMs operate is stark. My previous relationship with LVM: zero effort on Valentine’s, I mean zero. No flowers, no gifts, nothing planned, not even a meal out, and not even an hour of his time to spend it together at home. Meanwhile, pickme-me would get him a rose every Valentine’s (and pretend that I’m ok with this utter lack of attention) 🤡🤡🤡 My current relationship with a HVM: planned a quality time throughout the day, cooked elaborate breakfast, g…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	16/02/21 04:10 PM
7	I feel too valuable to lower myself to online dating apps again I personally think that dating apps can work but under certain circumstances, for example in very big, diverse and international cities. I’m using myself as an example. There are many highly educated, career-oriented, well-travelled, respectful etc. people and many of them are far away from their friends and families. Online dating is a good option since they don’t have many connections in the new city. In my opinion, using online dating and online friendship/hobby groups doesn’t make you low va…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	15/02/21 11:19 AM
17	That time my ex complained to me that the girl he was trying to cheat with was only trying to sign him up for a multi-level marketing scheme A guy I dated reached out to me looking for comfort but gave a bunch of generic reasons for why he seems to be so run down. Turned out later that he reached out to me on the day of his girlfriend’s abortion. You can’t make this shit up 😂😂😂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	13/02/21 03:46 PM
22	More dating coaches rubbish Lol projection much? Women wanting to be friends with a man is usually not a manipulation. It's just wanting to be friends and keeping it at that level while the guy still tries to put his penis in them. Lol woman wanting to be a friend is not dangling a carrot. Maybe time for men to change that mindset and actually try to form platonic relationships with various women, not just the ones they're sexually attracted to (and then whine about women friendzoning them). Ah, no. I forgot, "a woman who …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/02/21 05:23 PM