puzzled-panda Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
17	Husband won't step up - help	ADVICE	puzzled-panda	/r/RedPillWomen	28/11/15 11:13 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Husband won't step up - help I'm not really from Argentina, I changed a few details just to protect my identity. What I can say is that my actual country is going through a serious crisis and my lifetime savings have been cut in half in relation to the dollar from 2014 to 2015. Sucks. A week after I wrote this thread, we received my interview date for the visa. If everything goes right, we're moving in less than a month from now! I'm excited and a little nervous. We bought a trailer last week that will be waiting for us the…	/r/RedPillWomen	26/12/15 10:13 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help We should move soon. If things aren't better then, we might look into professional help. Thanks for the advice.	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 11:58 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help Forgot to ask: how did you get over your depression?	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 10:51 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help That addresses my dilemma of bringing it up/not bringing it up..	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 09:04 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help Yes, I do. I think he has been for years. We do talk about how he feels. It's hard for me to help him though. I can't fully understand his emotional blocks. I can relate to some things, I am also introverted, insecure, afraid of failure and have depressive tendencies. But none of that stops me from doing what needs to be done. And I can't explain why, I just push through, even when I'm unhappy. If I don't understand how I'm able to do it, I can't explain to him how he can. And I have told him se…	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 08:51 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help With the advice I got here, I actually started asking him today about our options. It has made him research costs and create some goals himself. We are looking into how much it should actually take and what we can do. Don't know if he will stick to the plan, but at least this time it's fully his plan. It's a small step, but it looks better than yesterday. Thank you so much for the help.	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 06:33 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help You're right. I happen to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world, which he often complains about, as if it's the reason for all our problems. Then when I worry about our future, he will repeat how it will be much much cheaper to live where he is from. I think he might overestimate the "cheapness". My ideal would have been to get a decent income before we ask for the visa, but it wasn't happening so I just went for it. He did say that things would be different in the US. So me appl…	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 06:12 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help That's harsh, but I appreciate your honesty. I also don't believe in ending a marriage and I think I'm much more capable of going my entire life like this, holding to a thread of hope, than to give up all together. Some might think that's stupid, but that's just how I am. I have no interest in looking for another man, if this somehow doesn't work, that's it for me. I am afraid of the poison you talked about, because I already taste some of it. It can destroy things. Maybe I won't ever go for div…	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 05:59 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help He does help in the house in some ways - but we aren't in our own house yet - and he helps me a lot with some of my work stuff. I did know about his difficulties when we married, but he was always in a constant struggle to get better and I love him, so I always believe he will. His speed might be really really slow, but he is actually better than 10 years ago. One of the issues is that, when things are bad, we always have an alternative. He couldn't afford an apartment so my mom accepted him in …	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 05:31 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help Guess you're right. In reality, I don't think we'll be homeless and that's what scares me the most. I'm afraid we won't get the money and he'll say "let's live with my grandma for a while" and that will just perpetuate our current situation in Argentina. It's really hard to control my anxiety and not let it show. I hoped there was an attitude I could have that would encourage him. But I guess being patient and going with it is my only option.	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 05:10 PM
2	Husband won't step up - help I tried to make it objective, I tried to mostly tell the facts that happened in our history much more than my feelings about it. I didn't come here wanting advice on how to change him. It might not be clear to you, but I really wanted to know how I can be better in this. It's obvious to me that whatever I'm doing is resulting in fights and frustration. I'm very open to criticism. But it sounds like you want me to know everything I do wrong before I even start writing. Saying "I do this and this …	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 04:38 PM
2	Husband won't step up - help That makes sense, I should accept more of his personality instead of expecting to change it. At the same time, if I accept all this right now, it sounds like we'll be homeless in a couple months. That's my conflict. Again, I have to wait and see what happens. But I'm trying to figure out what's the best I can be, so that at least I'm not making things worse. Maybe not saying anything at all anymore is my only route now.	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 01:45 PM
3	Husband won't step up - help I edited it, I hope that's better	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 01:38 PM
1	Husband won't step up - help I get what you're saying. Sometimes it does sound like I made a timeline without consulting him. It's hard for me to understand that because 10 years is not what I envisioned, yet I waited. We both want kids as soon as possible and the clock is ticking. And while none of this has happened in the time I wish it happened, I'm worried about the next months because that's when we'll have to get a house for ourselves, food, bills etc. He wants to go back to America as soon as possible. Is it my short…	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 01:13 PM
2	Husband won't step up - help He talks about how he wants to change all the time. He wants to be "the man I deserve", he wants to lead. He gets depressed often for not being that man. I wonder if maybe I'm not giving enough space. But it's hard to sit and watch after 10 years, it really is. Hundreds of times I gave him lots of space and didn't nag, to find out later it had been just wasted time.	/r/RedPillWomen	29/11/15 01:02 PM