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quokkita Archive

View 0 posts and 83 comments by quokkita on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I don’t disagree with you, but I also grew up in a heavily Jewish area. It’s touchy AF. Even more so amid the sharp rise in antisemitism. I think if that tradition is going to change, it would have to be men of the Jewish community, and not outsiders, who change it. That totally could happen, but I have to wonder if the lack of major movement indicates that Jewish men are pretty OK with the status quo. Or maybe they all hate it, dunno, I don’t exactly routinely ask my Jewish friends about their …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 09:08 AM
1

Yeah of course. It was interesting and made some valid points. It’s years ago now so I don’t remember everything off the top of my head, but I definitely fall more on the anti-circumcision side of things. Tricky though, bc I also understand that it’s a delicate subject for some Jewish communities. Family court: you can drudge up some absolute bullshit rulings against men and against women. For every woman screwing a man out of seeing his children, there’s a man never paying up for child support …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/21 06:26 AM
-1

FWIW, I ended up here out of curiosity about the original (or what I think was the original?) definition of “red pill”: the view that it is men, and not women, who are primarily discriminated against, with the term being picked up after it was used as a documentary title. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ So yeah I don’t see red pill as about dating, I see it as about gender in current society. Guess it says something about priorities though that the male side of it has turned the conversation almost exclusively to the …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/21 09:48 PM
0

selfies. the difference is selfies.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/21 10:45 PM
1

TIL the bible has a nugget of good relationship advice? Wtf did not see that one coming
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/21 01:46 AM
2

most aren't against traditional gender roles -- they're against being forced into them by de facto discrimination in school and the workplace. and for the men of the world they're against the stigma of being a SAHD. like others have commented here, strict and enforced gender roles hold everyone back, not just women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/21 07:58 AM
1

saw the headline, was going to make the dimorphism argument, turns out you already made it =) totally agree with your take, and i'll also add another bio note (with the disclaimer that obesity is risky, full stop): body fat is particularly dangerous when it is stored in the midsection, which an overweight male body is more likely to do than an overweight female body. or think of how many overweight women there are who lucked out genetically and it all goes to boobs and butt, and how much more at…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:22 AM
3

^ please take my poor woman’s gold🥇
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 12:06 PM
1

i'm just.... concerned that anyone would want having sex to be an "act of service" in their relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/21 03:46 AM
4

Perhaps the last part of your post answers your own question. In the fantasy world of a romance novel, the bad boy changes because of his love/lust for the female protagonist. What could be the bigger ego trip? Like an inverse of a dude who gets off on seducing the virgin. “They changed because I’m so special”. Humans, regardless of gender, tend to love anything that puffs their egos.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/21 11:40 AM
3

Fun fact, this is basically the plot of the movie Something Borrowed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 01:50 PM
1

Yeah I’m still confused by the whole exchange, but glad I at least interpreted your initial comment correctly!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 12:21 PM
6

i suppose we'll blame feminism for your failure to keep to a healthy sleep schedule too. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i'm sorry you've found yourself so angry at the world. get some sleep, drink more water, hate women less, and you'll probably be happier. oíche mhaith
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 05:20 AM
4

are we really gonna blame feminism for the notion that men shouldn't express vulnerability and emotion? and hey clearly you're right about education being fucked, because the both of you are confusing the words to, by, and be, to the point that you cannot understand each other and i cannot understand either of you. reddit gives me headaches.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 05:13 AM
5

i think what u/Economy_Arachnid6818 was trying to say was how boys are typically raised to be "men" and girls are typically raised to be "women". i'm using quotes because what makes someone manly and what makes someone womanly is so subjective. but yeah i think what they were getting at was "manly" typically means not expressing vulnerability or emotion, while the current definition of "womanly" is more permissive of these traits. they were not trying to say that boys are raised by men and girls…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/21 05:02 AM
2

100% i do not regret the pain or the bad relationship itself. If there’s any small regret, it’s the amount of time I spent on the toxic relationship before finally getting out of it and putting my energy into self improvement. I was in my late twenties by the time I got there (practically worthless according to certain lovely RP-ers 😂), and it would’ve been nice to have had more years with my improved self. But oh well! For me, I don’t think there was any viable path to that amount of self growt…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/21 10:40 AM
0

Mostly hanging out with good dudes who don’t have seething resentment for females and the world at large ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Edit: or dating other women
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/21 10:20 AM
11

^^^ this, 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/21 10:45 PM
2

Part of your argument was that the legal consequences for a man who is the victim of paternity fraud are severe. I agree that this is true. Which is why I flipped it to another situation where the legal consequences would be severe, i.e. marrying someone based on false premises, or choosing to procreate with someone based on false premises. So I'm not sure how you can argue that one should have to prove a lack of fraud in one area, but not in another.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 03:55 AM
1

people who cheat without using protection tend to also not get tested frequently, so they wouldn't be "knowingly" spreading it. that law is not the case everywhere isn't committing paternity fraud also illegal? i guess we're all set then. i'm making direct comparisons in order to highlight your hypocrisy. rules for thee (women) but not for me (men). ​ anywho. go ahead and make it law, and impose a tax on all you RP-ers to pay for it, and we'll be cool =) and ps don't do it via amniotic fluid bc …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 03:28 AM
2

It's intrusive to have to prove your fidelity to your partner. That's my point. I agree with all the people here saying that if you feel like you need one to be sure, you're with the wrong person. I don't demand my partner prove to me he isn't cheating, and he doesn't demand that I prove I'm not lying to him about the conception of a child. If they were mandatory it wouldn't feel intrusive, which is why I have no real problem with them being done for everyone automatically. Apart from hospital r…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 03:16 AM
2

plus if a woman has to prove she isn't lying about paternity, then the man in question should have to prove he isn't secretly fathering children or potentially acquiring STDs on the side. that's also a huge liability for a woman potentially in that situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 03:07 AM
1

how about a one-off going through his phone before a wedding to make sure he hasn't been cheating on her? i disagree that my comparison is a 'hell of a reach', but surely a one-time check to make sure that she isn't agreeing to a contract on false premises would be more equivalent?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/21 03:05 AM
1

Curious here. If a wife wanted to put some tracking app on her husband, or wanted to consistently read all of his messages, emails, whatever. Or maybe she demands a picture from whenever he’s out with his friends to prove he’s not cheating... would that be OK? Bc it ‘helps her feel more secure’? After all, cheating happens all the time and how can she really know without proof? (The point I’m making here is that would be abusive, controlling behaviour) If they wanna make paternity tests mandator…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/21 10:15 PM
8

well said
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/20 12:34 AM
2

Look, maybe. I'm curious to read the whole thing, but when I was trying to access the links in the OP it seemed not to work. ​ So a quickie about science and inconclusive data: data tends to never be 100% conclusive. A good scientist rarely says anything is "proven" nor "disproven". What they say instead is that current evidence supports _________ [some conclusion]. So with anything the best thing to do will be to weigh up as much knowledge as we currently have, acknowledge what direction that k…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/20 01:13 AM
14

I don’t give a hoot if you’re sexist or not, just commenting as a scientist, researcher, and science communicator. Using “debunk” when you mean “insufficient/inconclusive data” would (rightfully) get you retracted from any journal and booed at any conference. If you made it there in the first place, which you probably wouldn’t when misusing descriptors so flagrantly. I’m more mad at our school system for not properly teaching people how science works than I am mad at you. But yeah, go ahead and …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/20 11:23 PM
1

Ha! No arguments there! So maybe the crux of it isn’t that women are less visual, it’s that women on average are more visually stimulating, therefore anyone attracted to women enjoys more visual stimulation? 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 11:28 PM
1

Yeah look, I won’t comment on what most guys do or do not do with their appearance bc mneh. But otherwise, interesting points. For me, even when I do see a hot guy, it’s not enough to “get me off” as the OP says. It’s not enough to turn me on. Whereas my current understanding of men is that images of hot naked women alone is enough to get turned on. But I could be wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 11:47 AM
1

it might be interesting to note male vs female consumption of visual porn (videos and photos) vs erotic literature. i only have anecdotal evidence to offer but it's pretty stark in that every woman i'm friends with likes erotica, vs zero men i've dated (as they're the only ones i'd ever have asked about sexual interests). certainly lends support to the argument that men are more visual.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 04:44 AM
3

this is assuming that these two things are existing within the same time frame (enjoying casual sex and wanting a LTR). i know a lot of women who genuinely enjoyed the casual sex thing for one period of time, and indeed during that time also had sex with men they ended up quite liking "quickly". some of these same women found themselves not enjoying casual sex during a different period of their life, and so didn't do it, LTR potential or not. ​ people grow, people change. it's easy to see this a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 11:32 PM
1

So I generally think the way that the blame is put entirely on the women in this conversation is a problem. But then I also think that children being born to unwed / uncommitted parents is also a problem. I assume there’s a lot of people like me, so where’s the public conversation that emphasises multifaceted causes and remedies? It’s always so black and white about who’s “fault” it is and I’m kinda tired of it. (Not in your comment here. But generally)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/20 12:39 AM
2

Sobering, and a useful addition to this conversation. Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/20 02:45 PM
2

If all women actually knew their cycles enough to do this, I cannot even begin to tell you how different the world would look. Edit: if even a noticeable portion of women knew their cycles this well, point still stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/20 04:50 AM
16

Is there information available on how many of those unmarried parents are cohabitating? Among my millennial peer group, marriage is less important than it was for our parents’ generation. It’s more common these days for two people to be committed and cohabitating, but not be interested in marriage. I wouldn’t really count people in that situation as “single mother” births.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/20 04:45 AM
2

That’s already happening. And what boggles my poor lil pea brain is how the same men can complain about sexual inequality but then support politicians reinforcing and exacerbating some of the most severe wealth inequality in history.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 10:33 PM
3

Well I didn’t and don’t make a habit of hanging around many dudes that thought women were whores. And the flip side wasn’t about thinking men are rapists as much as it would be thinking men are liars and cheats. “Seeing the light” somehow doesn’t seem the right fit for what I mean. It’s more like where your attention and core beliefs are. Let’s say someone believes most people they will meet are shitty. That there are good people, but they’re very few and very hard to “obtain”. They’re very unli…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 02:45 PM
2

.... mostly married / engaged and happy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 02:17 PM
14

Comparing the two makes a good point though. If you read a blog post written by a girl who was saying “men are shit, men only want sex and they’re all the same and can’t be trusted”, you’d probably make an educated guess about what kind of girl she is and the types of experiences she’s had with men. IMO it’s the same with red pill. Some women are shit. Some men are shit. Some women are wonderful. Some men are wonderful. Deciding that women are somehow not just as human and just as individual as …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/20 01:48 AM
1

my understanding of 'emotional labour' was that it was in reference to women tending to organise and micromanage household requirements without much recognition for doing so. i absolutely could be wrong about what the term means, but here's the first article i remember seeing about it. fwiw, in a 'traditional' marriage with the wife specifically tasked as the homemaker, i wouldn't count that as emotional labour. but in the modern world, when both partners usually work full time jobs, why is it t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 08:59 AM
2

....wait, was "poor women" not meant to be sarcastic?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/20 12:57 PM
3

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/20 11:13 AM
5

Anyone else have a minor panic at the realisation that 2030 is ONLY TEN YEARS FROM NOW Wtf, halp, time!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 02:03 PM
3

I think we might be life doppelgängers wtf 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 08:56 AM
2

Most responsible teenager seems like a good thing? Good physical health, high energy, can pay bills on time and cook healthy food? Like, yes please?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 08:53 AM
3

Agreed, I interpreted it as a satire on early 2000s male rappers. They should’ve thrown a yacht in there.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 08:52 AM
9

everyone -- including the MRA / red pill / MGTOW / whatever your preferred term -- could stand to adopt this attitude too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/20 01:05 AM
2

THIS ^ I have had several relationships in which I earned more money and/or excelled in my career more than my male partner. I give zero fucks about it, but years later on reflection the beginning of the end of each relationship was tied to the guy feeling insecure about it. I’ve had several guy friends quietly admit to me that it does bother them that their wife or girlfriend earns more money. Yes there are gold diggers and yes wealthy men have more options. But I also think men could help them…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/20 12:00 AM
148

Yeah I do like a bit of objectification from my partner, but it’s fun because I know he doesn’t actually view me as a decorative object. From someone who hadn’t proven that to me yet, I’d be irritated.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 12:44 PM
1

Trust yourself to be able to tell if someone truly loves you or if they just love the 'status' you enable them to have. And get a pre-nup. If someone throws a hissy fit over a pre-nup, don't marry them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/20 03:31 AM
1

thanks
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 11:49 PM
1

but.... i am a woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 11:44 PM
7

The “wisdom” goes that a girl will chase you and a woman will replace you. An insecure chick will indeed put in more effort, might have sex she does not want, and will try to get more investment from this guy. She will freely give her time and energy. A grown ass woman knows she doesn’t need to waste her time on a boy who is treating her as an option. Her time is valuable and given to those who earn it. Men who aren’t earning it simply don’t take up a huge amount of her mental energy in the firs…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 02:05 PM
10

depends how he treats his partner. if he seems like a good fiance or husband, then sure he would seem more attractive. but i think the characteristics that made him a good partner probably made him attractive regardless of relationship status. soooo, no. ​ for whatever it's worth, here's what's more likely happening with getting more attention: yes, dressing better and confidence is helping you. but even more than that, people are attracted to people who don't _want_ anything from them. goes for…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 07:16 AM
0

Look, to each their own. Just don’t bitch about it if you end up with herpes or with an unplanned child. And don’t bitch about it if a woman doesn’t wanna fuck you without a condom — either put one on, or resign that you don’t get to have sex with her. Somebody can be pro choice and still choose to continue a pregnancy. (Side note, as a request from a very pro-choice person: please don’t say “pro abortion”. It hurts our cause.)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/20 01:00 AM
12

Ya know what’s huge? A baby’s head. Also, medical bills.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/20 09:04 AM
10

Same here! I’m continually shocked how many people, male and female, are apparently OK with not using a condom with casual hookups. I had one or two dudes throw a stink about condoms when I was single and it was kinda like — ok, boy bye, enjoy sex elsewhere then.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/20 03:10 AM
1

To make sure I’m following you correctly: women have the ability to reverse a man’s loss of attraction, but men do not have the ability to reverse a woman’s loss of attraction?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 12:05 AM
3

isn't this true regardless of gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 02:45 AM
12

Being aware is an awesome first step but there’s a solid chance you subconsciously are doing it anyway. We all do, it’s okay. The human brain loves to categorise and predict, and physical attractiveness is one of many categories that brains tend to use to make quick judgements.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/20 11:10 PM
1

i agree with your central premise ( i think ), that people in relationships should continue putting in effort. however, the way you've described it seems to me to assume that "putting out" is always an inconvenience for the woman in a relationship. generally speaking, yes, women have a lower sex drive than men, but it seems like this argument is glossing over that she probably wants a lot of sex out of the relationship too. or maybe it's just me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 11:54 PM
1

thanks for a thoughtful response. the possessiveness angle actually makes sense to me! what i disagree with is the idea that anyone can give "herself" or "himself" away. your "self" is not finite. if it were, then rape would diminish it, which is why i see that hypothetical as illustrative of the lack of logic. but again, at least i can get the possessiveness thing and i'm glad to have learned something new. what's funny to me though is that it's inverse for me (and i reckon for a lot of the men…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/20 11:09 PM
1

while i generally don't agree with you, thank you for acknowledging the different perspectives at play here and noting that men, as well as women, are guilty of failing to empathise with the "other side". so there's a population of men who care about "n count". the size of this segment differs depending who you ask. but for those that do care, what is the actual logic behind this? and a second question, what is the "value" of someone who's been raped at a young age? are they considered a "virgin…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/20 03:51 AM
2

I mean, I agree with you, and people with this "n-count" obsessed way of thinking are pretty unwilling to change their views IME. But I have fun taking apart logic using the opposing argument's own weapons, e.g. statistics. Because #quarantinelife.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 12:31 AM
4

the use of "confounding factors" has made my nerdy statistical heart skip a beat.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 12:06 AM
2

Why do these studies always seem to focus on the woman's sexual history and not on the man's? I'd also be curious if a significant difference in partners' sexual histories is influential. So for example, if the man had a high number of previous sexual partners whereas the woman had a low number.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 12:05 AM
3

Isn’t the more accurate table-turn here “imagine thinking you’re entitled to a man’s money just because you had sex”? Anyone here think that?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/20 02:59 PM
1

Eh I just couldn’t be fucked at the time. But sure. So this entire argument is predicated on there being an absolute measurement of human value. Which there isn’t. Even on superficial grounds, one person’s 10/10 is different from another’s. Human connection isn’t arithmetic. You can very easily flip the logic the other way. Around their late twenties, men start to decline too and thus have to lower their own standards. They can’t stay fit so easily anymore. They can’t fuck for as long or as many…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/20 08:03 AM
1

I’ll make you a deal that I’ll do that, and you level up your punctuation and differentiation of your/you’re and there/their/they’re. ; )
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/20 06:20 AM
4

I think “four factors” was him using the wrong four/for. Bless his heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/20 12:30 AM
0

What’s the evidence for it being women lowering their standards as opposed to men lowering it?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/20 12:27 AM
2

I can definitely see where you’re coming from. What seems totally reasonable is gonna be different for everyone. For me, I reckon once you’re having sex with someone, you don’t have sex with anyone else. Most women I know who date around are not sleeping with all the dudes, whereas the men I know who date around are sleeping with multiple. Even for them, I say have fun! It’s when you start becoming dishonest or evasive about your intentions that it’s shitty (whether a man or a woman). Also my “r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/20 12:26 AM
3

Hm. Sounds like you’ve had a really great time in the dating world, and that’s really cool. I wonder if that success was linked to being choosy about who you slept with in the first place — guys who wanted relationships in general. But for a lot of really lovely women I know, they get strung along. Not so much a hit it and quit it, but someone will date them for a bit, sleep together a few times, and then get ghosted, or else told the dude just isn’t sure about things, not ready for a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 10:32 PM
2

Eh. We can agree to disagree there. See previous comment outlining ideas about the relative marketplace proportions for my reasoning.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 02:22 PM
6

Ha yeah was just considering that: the everlasting battle would be helped if either more men moved to the relationship lane, or more women moved to the just sex lane. But then the men complaining about the lack of sex seem to be the same men who shame women who just want sex. TRPs! Be the change! Encourage sex positivity! Hey a gal can naively dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 02:16 PM
5

Yep. I never considered the whole marketplace thing to be the reason behind these generally accurate reactions. My central point is: this whole line of reasoning from RP and similar about how easy women have it is super flawed. It only holds up when you assume casual sex is the end goal for everyone, which makes no logical sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 01:32 PM
8

These discussions usually try to wedge supply and demand onto human behaviour. So taking that logic, there’s a marketplace where people want sex. On that one, there’s few women and lots of men, so the men have to compete. On the relationship marketplace, there’s few men and lots of women, so women have to compete. While there’s some overlap of these two marketplaces, it’s not a lot. So for a woman, it’s not a winning strategy to find someone to have sex with and then try to get a relationship ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 01:20 PM
9

That was my point bruh
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 01:14 PM
9

Do men want sex with women they don’t want relationships with?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 01:12 PM
8

Ok so this was kinda what I was thinking, so I’m glad you said it. Men compete for getting sex. Women compete for getting a relationship. If sex is the ultimate goal, then yeah, course women have it easier! If a relationship is the goal, then seems that men have it easier, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 01:03 PM
14

Original question: compete for sex? Or compete for a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 12:49 PM
24

Just curious: When people (usually RP thinkers) say that women have an easier time dating, are they making any differentiation between “getting laid” and “being in a long term relationship”?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/20 11:33 AM
9

Re: your comment about fake niceness, I think a lot of women do that out of fear. We’ve pretty much all been berated by some random dude at one point or another, called a bitch or a slut out of nowhere. So the fake nice is what women turn to to keep ourselves safe and to minimise conflict. I’m pretty sure I agree overall about being respectful when turning someone down. It does sound a bit like what you want is approval from the rejector though. Like “I think you are a good dude even though I’m …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/20 01:05 PM
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