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qwaliY Archive

View 2 posts and 238 comments by qwaliY on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

🙌🏾
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/22 07:22 PM
22

If you think it's red flag then you should probably follow your gut and move on, or at least start dating other men so you have a sense of comparison. Also, don't let him being a catch bling you to red flags! I haven't dated in a while so I can't too much comment on the texting part, but personally if we had been talking for a month I would want to have been on more than two dates, but it depends what the pandemic is like on you're area - since you've communicated your boundaries to him I'd say …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 09:35 PM
168

Imo if you just got out of a long term relationship and aren't ready for anything serious you probably shouldn't be entertaining romantic relationships in the first place and should maybe look to building new friendships or strengthening existing ones to assuage loneliness instead. What do you want from him? That should determine your next move
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:42 PM
2

My bad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/21 10:21 PM
47

Stephen Ducat also talked about this point in his book about masculinity in politics - all children learn to identify with their mothers as women are usually the primary caretakers (he observed that this behavioral phenomenon doesn't occur in societies where men are equally present parents), as boys grew up into men and learn that it's no longer okay to identify with women as they are the 'inferior' sex, they eschew anything associated with feminine in order to avoid identification with women an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/21 04:30 AM
32

I think it can be both, I know narcissists do like to cause other people pain bcs getting a reaction out of others validatea their own existence, if they can cause pain/sadness in someone, in their eyes, they assume the person must hold them in high enough regard for their opinion to impact them, which validates their ego, and uplifts them - other dark triad personalities, like sociopaths or pyscopaths like to cause pain for the sake of it, but I can't really speak for them bcs I've not had expe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/21 03:03 AM
113

They care about how others perceive them, it boosts their ego and reaffirms a sense of self they don't have internal control over - their families are already in the long haul so their opinion of them doesn't matter much, and, acts as an output/safety valve for their bad feelings so they can then, go on and continue to presest the perfect facade to everybody else. Also, I think it's like a very big misconception from people who have never dealt with their own crippling insecurity or have never s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 11:42 PM
10

I'm young (20) so I don't have too much experience and I come from a very dysfunctional family so my view may be tainted, but, yes. Generally speaking, the world we live in doesn't reward being high value - capitalism often requires a certain sense of conceit if you want to be successful, being toxic is often rewarded socially when you're young, it's seen as cool or edgy to do drugs, sleep around, play people etc. Being moralistic is often conflated with being boring or prudish so people push ag…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/21 02:47 PM
111

I agree, I think to analyze the scope of the problem - the reduction of women to objects, less than animals ( even animals are acknowledged to have a sex drive, when you ask men about their irrational sexual behavior they'll blame it on "animal instincts"), just vessels for mens humanity ("their" children and their desires) - is to recognise that the patriarchy, in part, depends on the denial of women's sexuality. To acknowledge that one is a sexual being is acknowledge that one is a being in an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/21 08:53 PM
4

Interesting perspective thank you. I do agree as I do want a relationship but I was wondering if what makes casual sex a negative investment was the risks associated with it rather than the fact that it was casual. Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:40 AM
6

Interesting observation, tbh I want a relationship but I was wondering if casual sex with women carries the same risk as it does with men bcs I've seen it argued elsewhere that casual sex is only damaging bcs of the societal and social implications that surround it. And that's true about the people being worth dating are actively looking for relationships. Thank you for the perspective
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:38 AM
2

No you're right, ideally I do want partnership but I'm just wondering big casual sex with women comes with the pitfalls as it does men as I've seen it argued elsewhere that casual sex is only damaging to the societal and social implications that surround it. Thank you for the perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:35 AM
3

No you're right, ideally I do want partnership but I'm just wondering big casual sex with women comes with the pitfalls as it does men as I've seen it argued elsewhere that casual sex is only damaging to the societal and social implications that surround it. Thank you for the perspective.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:34 AM
6

You got me there lmaoo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:32 AM
82

I'm not American so I can't comment much on the American political sphere, but something similar has/is happening in the UK where the government used policies surrounding COVID safety to start implementing a somewhat more authoritarian rule - a recent protester of climate rights was give 51 weeks in jail for peaceful protest, and increasing police force is being justified at (peaceful) vigils for murdered women, amongst other more nefarious policies that are creeping in. So I would say you're ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 01:02 AM
5

You shouldn't feel guilty for taking up resources - resources exist to be used, it gives them purpose!! That's the years of abuse talking, telling you that you don't deserve things, but you absolutely do!! I completely understand how you feel, I constantly feel like I made the wrong decision and that I'm not really ready to really move on with my life, but I am, and I'm sure you are too. It's absolutely terrifying, especially if you come from an environment where you weren't prepared for the wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 10:37 PM
5

I just left a similar situation, my mum was emotionally and verbally abusive, and over the pandemic it ramped up to physical abuse where she attacked and strangled me, I stayed for a year and made a plan to get out, that year in which I stayed was the worst year of my life in terms of my physical and mental health, I was smokijg about 4 blunts a day just to deal with the stress and I stopped eating almost completely- I ended up just going to uni last minute since in the UK they pay for your hous…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 12:32 PM
4

For sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 10:38 PM
34

If you're interested in a lot of books but don't have the funds for all of them check out Z-libary online. I'm not sure if I can include the link to it but it's a v extensive library of books available for free as PDFs and EPUBs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 02:58 AM
33

There's also countless women and girls who are sexually abused by their brothers and fathers, not even familial ties are an errant on safety
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 03:27 PM
26

The worst thing that's happened to you is probably a verbatim porn title that millions of men would jack off to without a second thought. For a lot of men your pain is his pleasure. Be careful with your secrets!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 03:10 PM
93

Not to be rude but he doesn't sound that amazing from what you wrote here! Don't let rose tinted glasses make red flags look white !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/21 02:33 PM
7

I once rejected a guy in College and he spread a rumour that I was the uck-queen (she was a semi-famous prostitue, or at least a viral sensation on Snapchat premium in London - this was before only fans but today she would essentially be an onlyfans girl - who I bear slight resemblance to bcs were both somewhat lightskin with strong noses), and that rumour followed me for two years. Ruined my college experience and gave me crippling anxiety bcs I could hear people whisper about how I was a prost…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/21 08:19 PM
8

A lot of abusers acc do commit suicide when there's a possibility they might face repercussions! It's a way to evade responsibility and keep "control" of the situation, at least they know how their life is going to end rather than questioning what might happen to them in jail. Murder-sucides, where an abuser kills their wife/family and then themselves are sadly quite common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 10:28 PM
105

It's so pathetic that guys have to do this to make someone stay with them. I grew up with a narcissistic parent, my first boyfriend, I suspect, was on the spectrum of narcissism so I grew up hearing these kind of comments and in most of my formative relationships. When you manage to heal from it, or reach a point where you see these people for what they really are, pathetic and spineless without an inch of true self-belief and the need to tear everyone around them down, bcs really and truly the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/21 11:30 AM
135

I hate it tbh (only done it with one guy), but when I was younger I thought I had to do it, and I much prefered it to the other stuff he wanted to do, but I still hated it esp as be was pornsick, would never reciprocate, wouldn't look at me when I was doing it half the time and saw no problem with making me throw up with it :/ - going forward I'll not be doing it again tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:06 AM
2

LOOOOOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 11:54 PM
5

Okay thank youuu!! I'll definitely be switching over to vanguard then!! As I've noticed, of the profits I have made, the service fee ATM is over 10% of it! Time to brush up on my maths lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 11:42 AM
16

I've been using a managed investment ISA through moneybox - "Investment accounts have a £1 monthly product fee. In addition, an annual 0.45% management fee is charged monthly and annual fund fees of 0.12% – 0.58% are charged directly by the fund provider. " - do you think it would be better to switch over to a Vanguard account based on that description? I have quite a diverse portfolio, though it is a hands off account I check the returns daily just to monitor the fluctuations in the market, do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 11:39 PM
11

My mum had me around that age too! I used to hate that I had an old mum growing up, but as I get older I do realize it's a good thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:12 AM
14

My mum had me around that age too! I used to hate that I had an old mum growing up, but as I get older I do realize it's a good thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:12 AM
4

Yes!! My ex did that, I thought he was just too insecure to be himself 🤦🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 04:38 PM
56

Could you expand on the gay mannerisms point, or do you know of books that talk about the issue - bcs I've known two straight men who I first mistook for gay men (which is why I trusted them enough to strike up a friendship) who turned out to be huge predators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 08:15 AM
25

A guy I used to chat to in college told me that he only used to brush his teeth in the morning, bcs he didn't like the taste of tooth paste :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 05:53 PM
110

If another man can get away with it then so can he, vice versa, if another man is punished for the same behaviour then there's a possibility he might be too. Men have unwavering class consciousness, like the uber-rich, personally, I think it's the main reason male-dominated society has prevailed so long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:44 PM
66

I'll definitely read it! In conjunction, I'd also recommend "Who Cooked The Last Supper", by Rosalind Miles, a feminist retelling of history that documents women's shaping of evolution, agriculture, medicine, and so forth - the parts of history that were written out or co-opted by men. Also, wow, 10 trillion is a huge number! omg lol, women's labour really keeps the world running but is so rarely compensated kmt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 07:02 PM
412

The oldest profession is midwifery! imo lol, but yes this is v true, women's labour has shaped the world and it's ignored, devalued, or downright erased so men can perpetuate their false ideals of superiority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:35 PM
41

Yh I don't see how this is a bad thing to do in general, I'm of the belief that your boyfriend shouldn't really be hanging around your friends on a regular basis bcs you're separate people who have separate lives, and honestly, unless you're getting married I don't really think its good to completely intertwine your lives like that unless you're getting married, and even then you should have your own social circles, as well as mutual ones. I don't really see how that's a prank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:25 PM
45

Phone block list: 2 Instagram blocklist: 3 I've just started tho lemme catch up 😅😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 04:00 PM
19

I can't lie, I'm short (5 foot) even if a guy is really handsome I can't really be attracted to guy who's 5'4 and under, BCS being able to look him in the eye comfortably makes me feel like we're the same height even though we're not and it makes me loose attraction to them. I do date short men bcs what's short to others is tall to me tbh (like 5'6 to 6') but I can't really be attracted to a man I don't feel "protected" by.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 08:47 AM
365

Yes! I get that, I hate when girls will invite their boyfriends to outings without consulting you first. He's not my friend, I'm only tolerating his presence bcs you love him lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 10:41 PM
5

tony gaskins?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 06:22 PM
24

I think women who hey addicted to porn have mostly likely been victims of sexual abuse and are using it as a maladaptive coping mechanism/ a form of self harm, once they've dealt with that trauma the addiction usually disappears as well. I don't think their brain interprets it the same way men's does (as in their subconscious actually believes their having sex with the women on screen), so it's a lot easier for women to give it up. Also women have a sense of empathy and can tell that the woman o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 11:08 AM
5

I'm so sorry that happened!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:00 AM
54

This sounds like a cult tactic or something lmao :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 06:07 PM
4

Ovie was such a sweetheart! Greg too! The winter version in 2019 had some HVM and most of the couplings seemed really genuine. And yes I do think a lot of time the women have a tendency to overlook when a guy obviously doesn't like them (Amy and Curtis lmao) or be loyal before they should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 03:07 PM
9

I'm from the UK, so i watch it lmao. It's a bit of a shambles of a show and most of it is dramatized, i haven't caught up with this season as of late but usually, most of the men are LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 02:38 PM
26

Yes, tbh the more stories I hear about my friend's sex lives, the gladder I am I'm a virgin - because they put up with so much disrespect and debauchery in the name of empowerment and "having a hoe phase".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 05:19 PM
24

Agree! It's annoying that we have to have a label for treating people normally and not over objectifying everything and everyone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 05:18 PM
61

I agree! I just turned 20 too! Most of my friends are so obsessed with love and relationships, and can't go more than a month being single, and if they are single they're sleeping with random men. I think the preoccupation this generation has with sex and relationships is largely due to social media and porn, and the idea that everyone else is doing it (according to social media) so they have to as well. Out of all of my friends I was the last one to have a boyfriend (at 17, and youre right it d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 04:40 PM
31

This guy is like a straight-up misogynist, I've seen him talked about in a Cynthia G video, where he was spouting the typical black male rhetoric that "black women should be ride or dies and be submissive to their kings otherwise they'll go overseas and find more submissive women". just ignore him lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 04:30 PM
2

Thats true! I would be interested to hear those answers aswell! I personally believe in paying expenses in proportion to the percentage of income, in situations where you're building a life together - so in those cases if the woman has a lower income she would be paying fewer expenses, simply because she has less to spend, though each partner would still do their fair share of parenting and housework. I'm not sure if that's the FDS view though, my personal viewpoint was informed both by FDS and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 01:46 PM
3

This may be wrong bcs im not at that stage in life yet, but i believe its in reference to the fact that, even if partners are in a truly equitable relationship, women are inherently disadvantaged in the world we live in. How can you divide expenses 50/50 when on average women earn less, when its women who have to take (sometimes unpaid) maternity leave and time out of their career when they have children? How can the split of childcare be equal, when the woman does 90% of the work in creating th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 12:16 PM
3

Pornstars, on average, stay in the industry for three months - after that point, they've either faced too much emotional or mental damage to continue willingly. For non-survival sex workers, as in middle-class women in first world countries who go into the industry bcs it's empowering, I imagine it's probably a similar time frame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 09:51 AM
10

"consensual non-consent" , so basically simulated rape 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 07:08 AM
7

'chloe_' on YouTube is really good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 10:38 AM
4

Well said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:07 AM
29

I knew a few girls when I was in college (16 - 18 in the UK) that had tried anal sex bcs their boyfriends were obsessed with it, even some girls when they were in secondary school (11 - 16) had tried it. You'd be surprised how depraved young men are, and girls - being raised in an increasingly pornified culture, where this is painted as normal - are pressured, whether by their boyfriends or the increasingly sexual culture that surrounds us, into giving in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 08:14 AM
25

This is a really interesting perspective! In my opinion, I think its to do with the fact that, during oral sex, there's no expectation for them to please the woman, or even for them to pay attention to her during the act. I will agree most of the men I've met that are absolutely preoccupied with head, either have a blatant porn addiction, latent homosexuality - they're also obsessed with anal, think going down on women is disgusting or have very homoerotic friendships - or a deep disregard for w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 06:25 AM
19

I literally know a girl who had a gun pulled on her during a tinder hookup!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 05:35 PM
2

This currently describes my friend who I'm on the fence about, I'm always considering cutting her off bcs I feel like I can't have a conversation with her that's not about men or what other people are doing - and she knows wayyy too many men, she'll go drinking or just hang around with cars with groups of guys since secondary school, her ex's friends - but she's been there for me through some tough times recently. Do you think there's ever any helping these women or is it better to just cut your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:58 AM
3

Thank you! I just turned 20 in march and this was really inspiring to read :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:53 AM
16

Journal It! is a really good app that I use as a digital journal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 04:13 PM
23

Yep, this was the case for me sadly, and also for my best friend - a surprising amount of women are abused by their brothers, cousins and age-mate male family members as a result on porn. Child on child sexual assault has also increased tenfold, I remember reading in an article that it's up 400% in schools in the UK, as a result of porn. Young boys (and adult men, though in the case of children I think it's more dire bcs their brain is a sponge) are being socialised to view women as walking fles…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 09:25 AM
4

It's a case of cognitive dissonance that mentally absolves them of guilt for the way in which they treat women. Deep down, or even high-up, they know that the way in which they treat women they deem as "whores" is wrong - hence their outrage when anything of similar sort is done to them,.or is even mentioned to be done to them - but they have such a fragile and deluded sense of self, the idea that they are a "good man", a "god-fearing man", that they cannot admit that their actions are bad. So i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 08:21 AM
32

Could you expand on this, it's a really interesting perspective!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 10:20 PM
3

🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:26 PM
2

Whats her YouTube name? I'd love to check her out !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:57 AM
63

The world is dependant on women (unpaid) labour, in all facets of society - from housewives, to mothers, to friends, to scientific and social contributions stolen from women and accredited to men. Men are raised - though not really raised, just coddled and then released upon to the world expecting the same preferential treatment - to be dependant on women's labor, so they never develop the skills they need to exist sufficiently, independent of women. From the time they're boys, men are coddled b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:45 PM
5

Yeah the drill scene is so demonic, idk if you meant london or chicago drill but i livein London and drill music is defintely reflected in culture. I'm 20, but when i was growing up, boys would literally take pride in how violent they were, how many girls they could trick into sex - like when i was 16 i knew boys who had already been through like 30 women. Black boys are literally being raised by music and its terrifying, they honestly take pride in being degenerates. I learnt my lesson from my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:26 PM
10

Sorry to keep asking, but I am going to do an online course in financial management and planning so I can start my own business in the near future - though it's not an actual accreditation it'll come with a small certification. Is this what you mean by my certs or are you talking about a formal degree?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 06:00 PM
22

Would this be applicable for a young person (early 20s) looking for a side hustle/job while they take some time out from college, or do you think people would feel apprehensive in hiring someone young to manage their money?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:18 PM
1

Red cross: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2018/feb/24/red-cross-21-staff-members-left-due-to-sexual-misconduct-in-past-three-years UNICEF : https://www.unicef.org/press-releases/unicef-statement-allegations-sexual-exploitation-and-abuse-democratic-republic-congo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 07:23 PM
5

I've read some articles about both UNICEF and Red Cross "peacemakers" raping/coercing the very people they've been sent to help, by makeing women and children have sex with them in exchange for medicine or food supplies. There was one article I read where a peacemaker admitted to molesting hundreds of little boys while he was deployed in Haiti iirc. If I find the articles again I'll link them here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 10:11 AM
10

Also during WW2 hundreds of thousands of German were raped by allied soldiers, literally, to death - to the point where many women took their own lives rather than be subjected to gang rape by the soldiers. In times of war it's always women and children that suffer the most and usually at the hands of the men that have been sent to protect them. The same thing happens with UNICEF, the red cross, and I'm sure in military occupation of foreign countries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 08:10 AM
5

Yep, I've seen men say online that their biggest motivator is sex (and I guess relationships since traditionally sex is relegated to relationships), down to the point where the decisions they make in life revolve around it - e.g, get a good job so I can make food money and have sex with loads of girls, go to the gym and get a good body so I can have aex with loads of girls, if their religious they get married so they can have sex. It's easily observable with incels and other online communities. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 05:03 PM
21

Yep, I know several women including me that were assaulted and even raped by other children - for me it was my brother, and my best friend was also molested by her step brother when she was a child, and then by her younger brother when she was an adult. The first time someone followed me home and sexually assaulted me, I was 11 and he was, at max, probably 2 or so years older than me. People like to pretending young boys are innocent and have no idea what their doing, but their being taught by o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 07:57 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 07:29 AM
8

How do you going about cutting LV people off? Or distancing yourself from them? I'm in the process of moving away from an abusive family and applying to uni once I'm solidly independent which is fine, but I struggle to cut LV friends off bcs I don't have a familial system to fall back on. It also means that most of my childhood friends are somewhat dysfunctional BCS of who I was when I met them, is it worth it to sympathise with them and how they grow? Is it best to call them out, just to give t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:10 PM
6

I've no idea what the letters stand for lol, that's just her URL http://gcdk.tumblr.com here's the link tho!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 03:22 PM
47

This is from GCDK on Tumblr, I'm p sure she's still active but the OP of the post she left the comment on might have deleted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 08:25 AM
2

omg ik, the decision-making process can be hard there's so many to choose from lol! I got the Native Instruments S88, and can attest that semi-weight keys are a real game-changer, it really gets you in the zone when playing. Heard that the MK3 comes with a lot of good software too, and i love that name lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:55 PM
6

Omg, I bought an 88 midi keyboard board in January, how're you finding it so far! Which one did you get?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:41 PM
2

I'll definitely look into him then. I also think Tony is a narc so I try to take what he says with a grain of salt be he generally still expects women to concede to men and obviously doesn't respect women as intellectual/sexual equals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:36 PM
29

"It's obvious you're going through a hard time right now" "You're not doing as much as me, I'm about to change my life, you're too needy"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:01 PM
3

Please write that post!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:25 AM
161

This is actually so true! I've never thought about it like that before, even when women are offered sex - as opposed to rape -, it's not an offer of sex but an offer to serve another person's pleasure. Rarely ever are men eager to go out of their way to satisfy women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 08:15 PM
5

Honestly yeah, NPD is either borne out of extreme cases of abuse and neglect, as a defense mechanism, or out of emotional neglect in favour of celebration of achievement - as in no one cares about their feelings growing up, but they care about what they do in school - or growing up extremely coddled and entitled, never being made to think about how other people feel or face consequences for actions. With the latter two being how most men are raised, its not surprising that most men are varying s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 06:55 PM
12

I would recommend any women dealing with this because they were raised in a narcissistic family or otherwise abusive/unhealthy dynamic to read "Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, by Kenneth M. Adams" It helped me tremendously in putting a name to the patterns i noticed in my own NPD family!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 01:32 PM
70

honestly i think its to do with the rise of "petite" porn :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:44 PM
3

Just to say, I didn't write that expert, so I can't speak for the methodology behind the research/ observation. IMO, it's possibility 1, though it's caused by a much larger issue of socialisation and inequality within society. I'm gonna be speaking in sociological generalisations bcs its a macro issue that plays out in interpersonal relationships on a micro-level. Its also gonna be a somewhat long explanation bcs its not a simple issue. I'll bold the TD;LR tho The world is dependant on women (un…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:38 PM
59

I always end up finding feminsts quotes/experts from tumblr that coincide with posts on here. Its crazy to think that women half a world away and a couple lifetimes ago had the same thoughts women around the world do now "The parasitism of males on females is, as I see it, demonstrated by the panic, rage and hysteria generated in so many of them by the thought of being abandoned by women. But it is demonstrated in a way that is perhaps more generally persuasive by both literary and sociological …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:08 PM
96

I always end up finding feminsts quotes/experts from tumblr that coincide with posts on here. Its crazy to think that women half a world away and a couple of lifetimes ago had the same thoughts women around the world do now "The parasitism of males on females is, as I see it, demonstrated by the panic, rage and hysteria generated in so many of them by the thought of being abandoned by women. But it is demonstrated in a way that is perhaps more generally persuasive by both literary and sociologic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:32 PM
31

Yeah, ime, (straight) men who have mostly women friends are men who been rejected by other men because they're real-life loser/degenerates/weirdos to a degree that they won't tolerate. Or they have a harem of women friends that they use as emotional outlets and potential sex partners to bolster their ego. A HVM would find his tribe amongst other like-minded men, not to say he wouldn't have women friends, but they wouldn't be his only friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 07:44 PM
10

Yeah, he and the men who watch him are high-key delusional imo, he just puts on a suit and pretends to be somebody and those men really believe him. It says a lot about the state of their lives that they would look up to someone like that :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:24 PM
6

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:15 PM
11

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:15 PM
39

Thank you, this was really helpful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 03:15 PM
117

Can someone transcript this? I can't understand what he's saying at all! Thank you in advance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 12:13 PM
34

The one who got away is the woman they couldn't "conquer", they're still think about her bcs his ego never healed from the rejection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 09:08 AM
47

A lot of manosphere men like Kevin Samuel 🤢 use the term High Value as well, but their version of a high value woman is one that will let herself be walked all over and chase a man so he can feel important
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:23 AM
2

!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:40 AM
194

​ “Making women seem anti-sex and joyless if we want the right to be sexual without being humiliated or hurt, and making men seem wimpy and undersexed if they prefer cooperation to domination, is clearly the tactic of choice for isolating anybody who tries to separate sexuality from violence and domination — which is a challenge to male dominance at its heart.” — Gloria Steinem, Preface of “Outrageous Acts and Everday Rebellions” (2nd ed., 1995)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:26 PM
74

I don't have the link exactly, it was from something i read years ago when i first discovered anti-porn feminism, but these blogs have a lot of resources and if you scour them or find a masterpost they should have a link to it. Hope this helps! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/burndownpornhub https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/antiplondon https://antiplondon.tumblr.com/post/648008769292402688/why-the-porn-industry-must-be-called-to-answer-on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:16 PM
280

It was deemed unethical to introduce people to material that evidently had such a profound effect on them, and when they wanted to do new studies, they couldn't find a control group of men that had never seen porn before.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 03:17 PM
8

I don't think gossiping is the same thing as talking about people in general, sharing information about the people in your life - like where they go to school, did they move house, their parents are sick - is just that, sharing information. Gossiping, imo, is intentionally revealing people's personal business to those who have no business knowing it. As in, telling friend A, whos a stranger to friend B, that friend B just had a miscarriage or that her boyfriend cheated on her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:59 AM
330

I agree, to a certain degree most men fetishize women in general and it is true that men of one race will fetishize women of a differing race, but I don't think it's helpful to WOC to fear-monger about men of other races fetishizing them. Esp, as a black woman - in a community where men are usually extremely sexist - to be told that other men only see you as a fetish is harmful, and something that is actively told to us to stop us from dating outside our race so black men can continue treating u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:18 PM
5

I know it's not as obvious as that, I grew up with a covert narcissistic mother whose behaviour is always excused by everyone else surrounding her despite the fact that they've been abused by her themselves. I wasn't trying to diminish the abuse that you've been through, and I know the isolation of being the only one that's willing to acknowledge the pattern of a narcissists behaviour, and see them for who they really are - I was just trying to put a name to the pattern. Sorry if it came off cra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:54 AM
11

Girl, that's a textbook (communal) narcissist! Understanding narcissistic abuse really helps understand abuse as a whole imo, nearly all abusers are narcissistic on some level bcs they believe they are entitled to treat people however they want, and lack the empathy to see how their actions affect other people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 08:24 AM
9

omg, which guy? But honestly, I'm not surprised, all their talking points seem very incel adjacent and they're part of the black manosphere, which is essentially just seasoned misogyny. A big part of becoming a "women-centered woman", rather than "male-identified", is not listening to useless men lmao. Even if you don't agree with them, they're still living rent-free in your mind - and, as a woman, it's toxic to absorb information from men who make it clear in their talking points that they don'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:37 PM
85

Exactly! Choices aren't made in a vacuum, theyre a reflection of the society we live in, and calculated against the messages we've been inundated with our entire lives. Of course, doing your makeup, as woman, will make you feel good as we live in a society where a woman's worth is measured by her beauty - in a society where you're viewed as an object, becoming the shiniest and most desired, feels like an empowering choice. But it's the equivalent of learning to wear patriarchal chains decorative…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 02:03 PM
14

Lmaoooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 08:12 PM
16

What are the patterns?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:17 PM
3

Is this a book? it sounds like a really good read lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 07:58 AM
56

It's terrible, and the girls are socialised to see it as normal, or called prudes when they speak up about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:14 PM
89

110%, they're so used to dehumanising women and girls that it doesn't even register as wrong in their minds, bcs as far as they're concerned women only exist for them to have sex with so how could it be rape. I remember at the time I saw it I was literally sick to my stomach and asked my male friend, who also saw it, how the mandem could be laughing at the rape of a child and he said, word for word, "you don't know it's rape bcs there was no force". Like, there's no hope for these boys :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 07:13 PM
91

I'm not even talking minors, she was a toddler at most - like it was legitimately childporn. But yh, it's so normalised in this generation that if you say it's bad people look at you like youre crazy :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:46 PM
295

Honestly if anything they're worse, they were raised on porn, in an extremely hypersexualised culture in which rape and abuse are fetished. I just turned 20, when I was a teenager boys my age would watch violent pron in class, demand anal from their girlfriends, be involved in group sex when they were like 15, argue that women deserved to get raped or try to justify pedophilia. Once when I was 16 someone posted childporn to Snapchat and plenty of boys reposted it with laughing emojis making fun …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:01 PM
55

Good for you for leaving him sis! Stay strong!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 03:16 PM
8

Honestly, they usually go after the title of "man of God" bcs it's gives them a good cover for their nefarious antics, and provides them an ever growing supply of vulnerable people to pray on (churchgoers - more specifically women - down on their luck). A good amount of ministers are Narcs, the church provides the perfect place to gain supply, they get to stand up and preach to people who look at them in admiration bcs they view them as a messenger of God, which also feeds into their own ego com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 11:46 AM
182

It's not satire, it's kinda a tiktok meme where women acknowledge the way they let men treat them, it's more of a taking accountability thing so they can do better. That's why they're clapping lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:17 AM
218

Honestly you can tell men aren't used to criticism, anonymous strangers on the internet stating their preference is enough to make them have a breakdown - that's sad. Women grow up having their bodies attacked from all sides - down to sexual harassment, strangers and classmates commenting on and oogling our bodies, families members commenting on our weight, advertising telling us were ugly and need to change; and now, in the age of social media, the promotion of surgical altered bodies as natura…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:20 AM
49

Imo men that think that act is dirty and gay are on the downlow - idk how you could link having sex with women as being gay, unless it's projection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 10:17 AM
106

They know what they're up to, they just think that you don't. So when you call them out on it they see that they can't play that game, and acquiesce - or go in the other direction and throw a fit. When people are being manipulative they know what they're doing, the manipulation depends on the other person not realising they're being manipulated/used
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:15 PM
5

Yh, it's genuinely uncomfortable to watch lol, and whenever there's a woman on the show she always overly hostile and asks them why, they think, other women don't like her. Honestly I've never been able to make it through more than like 2mins bcs it's just bad vibes :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:58 AM
10

Yeah, Zeze Millz is a huge pick me - I think she just likes to be reactionary. If you use the time in which you're waiting to acc evaluate the man, cut him off if he's not up to your standards and/or get a secure commitment from him, then it's unlikely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:02 AM
15

Honestly I think they are, that's why so many of them are in and out of jail - it's the one place they can have sex with men in peace 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:35 AM
21

Yeah, honestly a lot of men in London grew up involved in crime or at least friends with criminals, there's definitely a subculture amongst London men, in which they applaud eachother for depraved criminal/sex acts. The amount of man I knew growing up who would brag about stabbing someone, or thought it was normal to be on police observation or go jail at like 15. Then even if theyre not on crime, they run trains with their friends bcs they have these weird as hell homoerotic friendships, where …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:24 AM
10

Literallyyyy, she's always on twitter defending men for cheating and being embarrassingly h*rny whenever she interviews man for her talk show
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:16 AM
39

It's called "Hot Girls Wanted"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 10:08 PM
26

It's really sad tbh, my friend - who is most def a pickme - did anal with a hookup she met on tinder, she did the whole day of preparation with an enema, only for the man to block her immediately after they had sex. The sexual climate of today's world is really sad. When I was 16/17, there was a bunch of boys at my college who would demand that their girlfriends did anal, with absolutely no care for their pleasure - the most harrowing part imo is that women and girls really feel like they have t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:08 AM
39

These are beautiful!! gold and blue is such an elite color combination lol. How did you make them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 03:57 PM
190

I think we should start embarrassing them tbh, the reason men can and do get away with so much and feel no remorse is bcs no one calls them out on it. Let him know he did a sh*t job! Shame is a prerequisite to growth, and over-inflated egos are borne from a life without consequences and shame. Tell him his willy is trash and then block him lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:59 PM
28

Girl....what? Is dick firming surgery a real thing lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 11:45 PM
24

"Supports Quavo" he's a rapper, that was recently caught on am elevator camera, getting into a physical altercation with his ex girlfriend, Saweetie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 01:52 PM
29

Yesss, they're always deeply maladjusted men who have a revenge fantasy instead of just sorting out their lives lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:49 AM
22

That man is so obviously narcissistic and unhinged, it's crazy to me that men basically worship him just bcs he insults women. Though, it's shows the state of men today - insanely insecure, mommy issues so they hate women, daddy issues so they worship other men that teach them that said hatred is okay, and eager for the approval of other men. A man mentioning Kevin Samuels is a straight red flag imo :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 08:08 PM
16

Yes! It's to make you doubt your own memory of what happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 08:03 PM
10

Nooo, not YungFilly, he seemed nice from his videos - honestly I thought this was about Dutchavelie - but honestly I'm not surprised considering he does that show with Harry Pinero and Krept/Konan (I can never remember which ones which) Honestly the culture towards sex and dating in London is terrible, a lot of London boys are very caught up in a specific brand of masculinity that requires them to be as "road" and macho as possible and not do anything for a women. The amount of men I know that r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:18 AM
15

Omg? my ex would literally never take my top off and it killed my confidence, I thought I was the only one lol. I started thinking maybe he was on the down-low (there were a few other things that made me think that) and he just didnt wanna see boobs?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 06:54 PM
11

Yeah, if they wanna make a difference they should be teaching men to be better - not just bragging to women that they're a "different" kinda man lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 02:37 PM
34

Yeah, I remember when I was in secondary school, boys would be in year 10 (15-16) going out with girls in year 7 (10-11). Men are obsessed with power and control, a person younger than you is easiest to control, hence why their obsessed with young girls at any age. It's a sad and horrifying realisation really :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 02:48 PM
3

Your mum might be a narc, or at least on the spectrum of it - my mum is and what you said sounded very reminiscent not her behaviour. It's really hard to hear that type of stuff from the person that's supposed to love you the most. If you do want to go no contact though, you'll probably end up feeling better for it, if you can't it's best to emotionally detach yourself moving forward. Maybe checkout r/raisedbynarcissists and see if any of it resonates. Best of luck! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 08:36 PM
74

Yep, cheating is a clear sign of poor character - no moral or ethical code - which I don't think is something that can be improved upon, either you value other people's emotional well-being or you don't. Cheating clearly shows that you don't. I think the problem some people have on here is labeling a man or anyone HVM just bcs they say things women like to hear or sometimes act right. Value is about having a good character - you can improve on it but you can't suddenly change your entire sense o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 07:53 PM
4

Yeah, he's so obsessed with being seen as anointed, as if he's a dating Messiah of something lol and pushing the ideal of being married rather than having a healthy relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 03:34 PM
10

I also think Tony Gaskins is a narc tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:30 PM
15

I saw some old instagram posts of his, in which he was "slut-shaming" women for posting pictures of themselves. I haven't watched the video above lol, so I can't comment on it, but most of these male dating coaches are just pandering and don't live by what they preach. They just know women are an easy demographic to make money off of. Honestly, I would be wary of any man trying to date as a woman, as if they even understand what it's like to be a woman in this world lol Edit: grammar
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 01:29 PM
6

that man is so obviously unhinged, i can't believe people - esp women - take him seriously :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:11 AM
21

Yep, as a black women, black men most definitely have and exercise their privilege over women in their own community, and take a weird sense of pride in being able to exploit women that they deem "better" - essentially non-black women - bcs they see it as a way to get back at white supremacy. Their using women as objects to conquer through sex to get back at the men that hold privilege over them in society due to race. So, in short, men are men - regardless of their race
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 09:26 AM
56

It's also just a publicity stunt lol, mbj (and a lot of other black celebrities who have made it known that they exclusively date non-black women) is dating Lori Harvey to pander to black women before his newest project gets released. Honestly I feel like using celeb relationships as an example of anything is tired since there's no insight into what their relationship is acc like
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:20 AM
4

Yeah, it's decent watch for insight on how a narcissist thinks but you can definitely tell he's delusional and has an entirely contrived view of himself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:25 PM
11

I think it's also worth mentioning how rape is definitely an invariable tenant of the patriarchy, which is why men will often send rape threats when their feeling threatened, as it's both a form of control through fear - e.g women should stay in the house to protect themselves, women shouldn't wear certain clothes, women need to be protected by men (from other men) - and through forcible pregnancy and psychological damage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:17 PM
16

Wowww, this is such a succinct and true take. It also explains why, whenever there's a time in history where women have an emerging sense of independence, men in power push to make abortion illegal and demonise contraception.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 08:54 PM
2

My grandparents have never shared a Bedroom as long as I've known them, and most other older couples I know of sleep in separate rooms - but I always thought it was because they were old and chaste lol, but it might be a generational thing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 04:28 PM
41

Maybe don't resign yourself to not being able to orgasm. I don't mean that in a patronising way or saying that you don't know your own body, but I always thought I couldn't orgasm until I had one. I'm 19, turning 20, I had my first orgasm when I was freshly 19 but I had had a boyfriend before that and I had always tried by myself before. I was the same as you though in the sense that things felt good but they kinda just plateuad intending of peaking lol Usually when women can't orgasm it's bcs t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 05:06 PM
6

I think it's possible if people lead by example - I've always been quite woman centered and cared too much about pursuing relationships, but the world and the friends I have have definitely tried to take that out of me, reading feminist literature and finding this community of like-minded women has just strengthened my resolve. I think that's what most women need tbh. Imo deep down every woman knows about the injustices of world they just feel powerless to change it or contest it so they give in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/21 08:14 AM
177

Tbh the reason this type of man can thrive in the dating world/with woman is specifically because he's not "as bad" as other men. That's also why men love to scream "not all men", BCS even though they're not actually good men, they sure as hell look great in comparison to rapists and abusers, they actively benefit from the bar being in hell which is why they're determined to keep it there. Like sure, your man might ignore your feelings, constantly disappoint you, be shot in bed but at least he d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:26 PM
46

Girl yh, I think they do it on purpose tbh :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 01:01 PM
17

Yep, narcissistic supply to feed their ego is what a lot of men see women as. I remember there was this video on YouTube where these men we're talking about how they should be celebrated for cheating bcs it's so hard for them, and they admitted they cheat just to boost their ego, to make them feel like they still got it or they're still desirable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:25 AM
13

More in the victim blamy sense - as in he gets away with scot free and I was stopped from going anywhere or wearing make up and even wearing certain colours for fear it would make me look "too adult" and incite more abuse - basically trying to put the blame on me in very subtle and insidious ways. Tbh in a lot of these situations the mother's don't want to accept that their sons are bad people and that their replacing the same trauma that the mother has probably experienced as well and not dealt…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:26 PM
6

She went off on him, and is now in therapy and seems to be doing okay - I think she's staying at her sisters house ATM but she's definitely otw to getting out. Honestly you would be surprised how much it happens, in my community at least it happens all the time, a lot of mothers just see their daughters as punching bags for their own childhood trauma so they let anything and everything happen to them :( Thank you for coming to check back tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:21 PM
65

Honestly it's so terrible to see, mother's will 110% defend and allow their sons to be rapists and murderers, it's also why they excuse it outside of their family - because of another man is prosecuted for rape, then their son might be too. I've seen this in my own family and in other people's families. Not to go TMI but I was a victim CSA by an older male in my family - though he was still a child himself, and though I never told anyone about it, as I've grown up I realised that my mum definite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 06:43 PM
44

Nah he has a Birmingham (North/Midland England) accent - And trap came from America but the UK has its own thriving drill scene
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:00 AM
13

Idk why but this is sending me 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/21 01:08 PM
6

It's an interesting thought, bcs the patriarchy as we know it has its roots in agricultural progression in early societies. It's theoried that before the rise of agricultural and animal husbandry humankind was more polygamous - in the sense that women were not seen as the property of one man but we're allowed/expected to have multiple relationships - and egalitarian. Once men started keeping livestock, women were likened to chattel and men began to exploit them for their reproductive capabilitie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 01:54 PM
2

Apparently it does! It's like one of those subjects where neither side can be "proven" but there's anecdotal evidence from men that it makes them less sensitive. I remember when I first found Reddit back when I was a kid, I was in a sub where men were arguing that circumsicion is inhumane bcs it takes away some feeling there. Lol it's a weird random memory but you might be onto something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 10:52 AM
7

There's already been murder cases with that defense!!! The "rough sex" defense is a real thing, a female-led charity called "We can't consent to this" was started in opposition to it. It's quite harrowing that the world will accept shit like this :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 02:08 PM
19

What they really mean is if they ask they won't be able to feign ignorance. "lots of women don't like it when I ask" = "when I ask women they say they don't like it and it makes my willy sad :/"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:31 PM
27

I was just about to say there's a Tumblr post about this!!! But yh that post really opened my eyes lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 03:29 PM
56

I have quite toned arms and my ex would tease me about it all the time! He would bring up how my arms were bigger than his or how I had broad shoulders, these times he was built like a skeleton lol. He's the only person I've been intimate with so it really ruined my self-esteem, it took FDS to make me realise he was projecting his own body insecurities onto me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:10 PM
62

Yes its weird and scary!! Black men already have enough disregard for black women without all this new black Manosphere stuff coming out. I blame Kevin Samuales and all them other serif pick up artist types :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 08:25 PM
2

I don't do this intentionally and I don't think it makes sense to tbh! I'm a very private person aswell and there's not a lot of people I confide in. I mean a general sense, if I tell Friend A about something that's happened in my life that wasn't information that should be shared, and then friend B asks me about, I'll know that Friend A isn't a trustworthy person. Like the commenter below said you should just go around asking people bcs it's a bit of a weird thing to do, but if someones a gossi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:31 AM
3

I'm not talking about gossip tbh, I'm not a gossipy person - I just mean something about my own life - as in I had a fall out with a family member, or something bad happened to me at work - and I only told them about it but another friend ended up asking me about it. It's not an intentional 'test' it's just something that happens and that I've learned from. I'm not saying to go around 'testing' people, but in general things happen in life that shows you a person's character and I was putting tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 11:20 AM
8

Testing someone isn't the same thing as disrespecting them imo, I agree most people with integrity won't string someone along or outright exploit them as his uncle was doing in the expert above, but testing someone's character and values is to be expected. If I offer to split the bill on a date, I'm testing his character - if he lets me pay I'll assume he's not serious about me but if refuses and pays it in full I'll assume he genuinely likes me or at least wants to impress me. If I tell a frien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:16 PM
9

Tbh I think you need to assume they're all shit in order to be discerning, imo benefits them more the give them the 'benefit of doubt', bcs you're assuming that they're naive rather than calculating, aware and mistreating you bcs they know/think they'll get away with it. When you go into it with the mindset that they're shit on purpose and fully aware of what they do - which they are - it's much easier to cut them off if they don't meet your standards or overstep a boundary. It's basically the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 07:05 PM
31

I would put him in the same school as Tony Gaskins, who describes how men think and how they operate when it comes to women and how to be prepared for it, rather than how to appeal to them. I think the qualms with these types of books is that women often don't want to believe that men think so vulgarly, but they do. There's also the thought that HVM think completely differently (I'm not saying this guy is high value) when they probably don't, they might operate differently and not be openly or a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:23 PM
116

Honestly I feel like a lot of men who hate single mothers are sons of single mothers and they're taking out whatever grievences they have with their own mother's out on single mothers as a whole. It's also the resentment they feel towards their father for leaving, and for not instilling them with a sense of meaningful manhood, directed at their mothers bcs they feel the reason they don't fit in with men/masculinity is bcs their mum didn't show them how to - obvs bcs she not a man she can't teach…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 01:52 PM
43

Honestly I think all men are on the narcissistic spectrum due to the way theyre raised - the criteria for developing narcissism (though not always full blown NPD) is either extreme abuse/ emotional neglect, or being overly praised and catered too, while having emotional needs neglected (as in not being instilled with emotional intelligence). The latter being how most men are raised, they interact with world from a place ego - usually fragile - and power grabbing, which is like textbook narcissis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/21 08:47 PM
216

Dan Schneider was also very weird to Ariana Grande when she was on victorious. There are loads of deleted scenes of her in that show that are just extremely uncomfortable to watch. I'm pretty sure he's a known pedo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 07:10 PM
15

I don't think it's faking being dumb, it's more like not over exerting your energy on a useless arguement that only serves to feed someone's desire to get a reaction out of you, and instead just do what benefits you in the simplest way possible. Imo it's similar to the grey rock method that is used to deal with narcissism. I don't think it's about caring what men want or what they love but instead accepting the reality of how men think, and how engaging in certain behaviours will never benefit u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 09:08 PM
51

It's really common within my culture (jamaican) for men to have multiple baby mothers and just generally bounce around and be bums, usually when a man doesn't have anything going for him in life he has a lot of children, one, to ensure he has continuous access to sex with his baby mothers, and to build himself a 'legacy' in lieu of doing something genuinely meaningful with his life. Issa bit sad but it is what it is 🤷 Sadly the world conditions women to have so little self esteem that theyll wil…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 08:00 PM
36

Paternity being prioritised is the bedrock of the patriarchy, by ensuring that it's the father's lineage is remembered, wealth can be handed down to the male children - who will carry that name forever - while female children are married into someone else's linage and denied generational wealth, leaving them at the mercy of someone else's financial decision. The name change also reflects idea that the wife and family is the property and extension of the father, the whole head of the household th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:35 PM
20

Yep, or they just compliment you at all become they want to make you doubt your looks !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 10:38 AM
17

I feel like when you're quiet people fill in the gaps by projecting their insecurities on you :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 11:59 PM
39

High value isn't synonymous with high earning
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 04:43 PM
35

Yep, men don't really listen to or take direction from women - most boys learn they can step all over women from seeing their father step all over their mother, or from other male family members - which they idolise - that disrespect women. Men learn from other men, and we live in a society in which men disrespect women. No amount of good parenting from a mother can combat societal socialisation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 01:34 PM
45

Men in UK seem to be very against it too, and the Carribbean. It's a machismo thing imo, men who seem to be confident in themselves and their masculinity have no problem doing it but those who don't find it too 'submissive', or they think vaginas are disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 10:25 PM
3

True, sadly a lot of black men are actively dealing with internalised anti-blackness which is why they deal with these types of yt women. I'm not endorsing her actions at all and didn't mean to sound like I was, I don't like her lol, but I definitely feel sorry for their son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 10:37 PM
60

I honestly believe that the reason so many men cheat shamelessly is because they know most/a lot women will allow it :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/20 05:34 PM
17

Yeah, I think there's a fine line between victim blaming and expecting people to take accountability for their decisions - in this case it's the latter. If he wasn't shit before, he won't be after but I do feel sympathy for her having to be tied to a good for nothing babyfather forever, and I definitely feel sorry for her son - being continually abandoned by his father is gonna wreak havoc on his self esteem growing up, kinda like 50 cents son. But yh, most of these rappers ain't sh*t, they defi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 10:18 PM
15

Can you link the post?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 05:35 PM
10

Yeah I get what you mean, he does give off a holier than thou vibe :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 12:50 AM
2

"Eskimo sisters" 😢😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 11:56 PM
37

The only good male dating coach I've seen is Tony Gaskins, since he's more about exposing how LVM think and how not to get duped by them rather than teaching a woman how to get picked - a lot of what he says echoes FDS principles. Tbh I think the best feme dating coaches are the ones that focus on hypergamy since they put a big emphasis on choosing a man that adds value to your life and being confident in yourself as a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 10:44 PM
110

Tbh society was built for men, to us it seems pathetic but theyre living easily and effortlessly off the backs of other people - no stress necessary. If society had really failed men then they would be making an active effort to change it, the world is the way it is because they benefit from it :/ Edit: grammar
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 06:33 PM
5

Idk! Honestly Ive never seen it happen in real life, aside from the time my pickme friend had sex with two boys that Mr and my friend had, respectively, rejected - but I've never seen it happen intentionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 06:18 PM
13

As in, having sex with multiple women in the same friend group
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 03:13 PM
26

They're actually not allowed to do anymore lab research on pornography bcs it's considered so damaging to show to a patient even in a controlled environment. That says a lot :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:36 PM
121

Tbh I think the idea of a "dreamgirl" is a fairly Western idea, "love marriages" are a relatively new ideal in terms of history, a lot of people still see marriage as a tool for advancing social status or wealth - I think the only difference is that women are demonised for wanting to advance their social status, so are often taught to settle for anyone and everyone since their deemed worthless if they don't 'belong' to a man. Historically women were seen and expected to be indentured servants, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 09:22 PM
100

Lool yep, she doesn't want anyone to embarrass her by saying he's their man too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:16 AM
18

Nah he did! She ended up pressing charges on the end :/ Edit : Oop sorry sis I didn't see the edit lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 12:30 AM
43

I feel likes it's maybe an "I'm shit but they're shittier so what's the problem" mentality?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:32 PM
2

Yah that's true tbh, most of it is just about sex, I feel like you find that in most mainstream genres tho since sex is what sells :/ . Maybe with more underground artists you might find some good love songs? I think county and indie tend to have a lot of love songs if your looking for them in general
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 07:28 PM
12

It depends who's making the music! I feel like there definitely been a shift from 90s RNB where they were more sort of mushy love songs, where as now it's essentially f*ckboys and pickmes singing I guess. I think as generations change and norms change music often changes to reflect that - this is an increasingly sex focuses and toxic relationship glorifying generation so music and that revolves around relationships reflect that in order to sell. I think you just have to find the right artist tbh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 05:52 PM
35

Tbh I think it depends more on the family dynamic and cultural expectations, whether or not they were coddled simply for being a boy, whether or not the women in their family are expected to cater to them. Literally every man in the world has female relatives, it doesn't make them any nicer to women - it usually just means their more protective over that individual woman in their family. Its more dependent or whether or not their raised to be respectful imo. I don't think being the older sibling…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:29 PM
2

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1K4c4-YGZr5SrKsox-5phXIXXifsrxjHU/view?usp=sharing heres the link, hope it works !!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:47 PM
43

You should read "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" By Lindsey C.Gibson - I have a PDF of it but I'm not sure if I'm able to link it here - it details, the effects of growing up with parents who are emotionally stunted. I get how you feel, my mother is on the Narcissistic Spectrum and I grew up being completely denied emotional comfort and often being punished/ ridiculed for being emotional - it's tough to grow up with parents that are effectively children themselves, who cant provi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 08:21 PM
89

I find strange because alot of male date coaches who honestly have women's best interest at heart echo a lot of the statements made here, and men who are honest will be the first people to the you that most men ain't sh*t. I feel like people just don't like to see women with standards, especially women who have none for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 11:47 PM
21

https://www.feministcurrent.com/2016/05/09/legalization-has-turned-germany-into-the-bordello-of-europe-we-should-be-ashamed/ This is quite a long winded article and it doesn't outline my comment exactly but it does outline how horrifying the laxx attitude towards prostitution in Germany is - to the point where they have drive-in brothels, tea houses that provide sexual services, flat-rate brothels that offers 'sex and a meal' for only like 25 euros. It's quite sad really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 09:31 PM
131

Also in countries where sex work is considered an actual form of work, women are encouraged to turn to sex work rather than seeking unemployment benefits - I may be wrong on this but I think Germany is a country in which this happens, if I find the article I read this in I'll post the link. But it's something that's becoming increasingly common in general :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 04:59 PM
21

R/raisedbynarcissists
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:20 AM
27

I just started watching it for the first time! I can't lie I find it funny, and there's not many shows that center black women but all of them (aside from Lynn maybe) are deffo looking to get picked :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 09:37 PM
7

"Come as You Are" by Emily Ngoski (not sure if I spelt her last name right lol) is a great book on female anatomy and pleasure from a purely scientific perspective, as in, she tries to do away with the social mores and assumptions that usually surround the female body. It presents a really good explanation of the female anatomy and dissects the way societal shame is applied to female bodies and their workings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 12:36 PM
3

I feel like "your not stuck up" low-key means you have no standards :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 05:18 PM
80

I'm 5', whenever a man mentions my height unprovoked it's usually to call me "tiny and adorable", they usually seem to be insecure guys. I guess it makes them feel good to get to stand over someone if you get me, even if they're already tall, or they have like a 'petite' fantasy or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 03:23 AM
0

Misery loves company
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:41 AM
3

I'm like 19 and I've just started this journey, aside from my best friend I find it hard to relate to most of my friends/age mates bcs most of them are obsessed with chasing man ! Do you have any advice for finding like-minded friends
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 01:35 AM
12

I feel like it depends, maybe I'm biased bcs I'm younger or bcs I'm black and it's quite a regular occurrence in my community, but I see it as pretty normal to get moved to in an educational setting or on the street - though as another commenter said the type of men who do this do it often. So if they approached you on the street it's likely that they've approached several other women the same way. Just vet them as usual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 02:52 PM
68

My ex always told me he was 5'7 in reality he was 5'4 ( I'm only 5' so it doesn't make a difference to me but it's mad that they acc think you won't notice)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 06:50 PM
7

Yep!!! It honest makes me feel kinda sorry for the men bcs theyve been trapped in a dynamic since childhood to the point where they don't even realise how unhealthy it is. It completely stunts their emotional growth :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 07:38 PM
47

They just want to have their cake and eat it too! Also, they probably have no-sense of self-esteem and are projecting that onto other people, anyone worth their salt has some type of standards, they don't have any so they don't want anyone else to either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 04:21 PM
66

Honestly I think a lot of men are just afraid of being considered "different" so they pick and mix their personality depending on who their around. Kinda like a hive-mind thing/ pack mentality. They wanna be respected by other men, or sought after by woman so they pick and choose the traits and offer the greatest reward. Like how one man might pretend to be feminists to sleep with a feminist woman, and then around and pretend to be religious to sleep with a religious woman. They show their "repr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 10:31 PM
21

Good for you for breaking up with him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 07:08 PM
20

Tony Gaskins on YouTube seems to be a HVM, he's a relationship coach that preaches most of the standards and ideals held here and is very honest about the way LVM think and act, he is Christian though and will often reference God so if that's not your bag you might wanna take him with a grain of salt. It's very interesting to get an honest male perspective, that validates whats said here. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgrOn0FKwRGxdenzTb4GEAg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 12:49 AM
3

True! I feel like you even see it with average/lvm men, i see men on instagram saying that casual sex is emotionally damaging for women, i always thought they were being sexist and bitter. But now I'm realising they know its damaging bcs theyre the ones who do the damage!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 12:09 AM
27

I'm from the UK too and in my limited experience black men are the least likely to do it, whilst shaming other men for doing it, esp if they're Caribbean - they see it as some sort of front to their masculinity or don't see the point since they're not directly benefitting from it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 04:49 PM
4

Most of the women in the porn industry are trafficked, coerced, or otherwise have a history of sexual abuse. Men hate women regardless of whether of not we willingly participate in their antics. I don't thinks it's fair to blame this on the women who are obviously coerced.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:33 PM
1

Maybe so, but that doesn't mean you have to put up with it, and it doesn't mean it doesn't have an affect on your mental and emotional health just because he doesn't mean it. Also addiction isn't a quick fix, once an addict youre always an addict and it's an active decision not to relapse into it, so even if he does get better it doesn't mean he won't get worse again At the end of the day you should do what's best for yourself!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 12:08 PM
1

Alcohol does not a change a person’s fundamental value system. People’s personalities when intoxicated, even though somewhat altered, still bear some relationship to who they are when sober. When you are drunk you may behave in ways that are silly or embarrassing; you might be overly familiar or tactlessly honest, or perhaps careless or forgetful. But do you knock over little old ladies for a laugh? Probably not. Do you sexually assault the clerk at the convenience store? Unlikely. People’s cond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 11:49 AM
7

Maybe you should read "Why does he do that" by Lundy Bancroft to illuminate some of his behavior. But generally speaking a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts, people who aren't violent/abusive don't suddenly get so when they get drunk, it was always an underlying part of their character but the alcohol gives them an excuse to act out without consequence. Him acting like a small lost boy when you threatened to leave is him emotionally blackmailing you into staying. When he tells you your biological…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 11:48 AM
14

Not to be rude but maybe you should consider leaving him? That doesn't sound healthy :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:22 AM
2

Yeah I get what your saying but I feel like it's different, it's not just pressure to be kinky it's an expectation. There were girls in my school doing anal at like 15, getting choked out, nudes were constantly getting exploited and sent around school, it was just part of life. I'm not saying there wasn't pressure to be sexual but I'm saying the sexual environment were growing up in now is different, it coincides with the advent and rise of social media, the ideas surrounding it are kinda differ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:36 PM
17

I can't lie it seems most of the people mocking her are from an older generation but as someone who's 19 and grew up watching porn and so did most of the people around me (boys and girls) this seems very normal and it's only bcs I went through certain truamatising experiences and discovered feminist thought against porn that I know it's wrong. Let's maybe not make fun of people for being a product of their environment, even though I know logically speaking it's normal to watch gentle sex I still…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 11:26 AM
1

For sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 06:58 PM
9

Yeah I'm jamaican/ from the UK and black men are the same here aswell, maybe with the exceptions of Nigerians and Ghanaians bcs their culture is quite traditional in the sense that the man is expected to be the provider, and education and upwards mobility is valued
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:08 PM
2

Sorry if this is an intrusive questions but how are you finding dating with CPTSD, I also have it and I'm working on healing and I'm wondering if it's wise to both try and date and heal at the same time of you get me. I'm worried my trauma has left me with low standards while making me hyper-viglant at the same time. How are you navigating the dating world while dealing with truama? And good on you for standing up for yourself!!! Hope your feeling better and I'm a safer environment now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:40 AM
1

MDMA has worked really well for me in terms of accessing memories and viewing them objectively, as long as you do it around friends - or even on your own as long as your prepared, and you know what your taking (maybe buy a testing kit just for safety) - it should be a good experience. As long as you don't take to much, and drink plenty of water it's rare to have a bad experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:35 AM
3

Breene Lee on YouTube seems like an example of this, she's not really FDS but she preaches the same sort of rhetoric and seems to be doing quite successfully in life and dating. So you might wanna check her out ! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 03:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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