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rando_dud Archive

View 0 posts and 207 comments by rando_dud on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

You can always say no! "I love you but I don't believe in marriage". They might not stay without marriage.. but then again putting a ring on it doesn't really guarantee you anything either..
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:41 PM
–

Outside of America, more couples cohabitate/coparent without getting married. In Canada, 25% percent of couples never get married. It goes as high as 45% in some provinces. Sweden, Denmark and many european countries have similar dynamics My guess is america is a bit behind the curve on this issue - but it's ripe to follow suit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:38 PM
–

Are they? Is not sleeping with someone classist behavior? It's still possible they want these men to have access to Healthcare and to not be systematically oppressed.. you don't need to sleep with someone to support them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 11:32 AM
0

This is my view as well.. I don't categorize women since it's impossible to really know what they do in private anyways. And because virtue-signaling is somewhat encouraged of women in our culture, you can't guess very accurately.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 11:12 PM
0

It's very probable that her toxic ex was more conventionally/physically attractive than the nice guy. Women don't like to appear shallow so they rarely would come out and say "my ex was mean but he had great hair and we would have cute babies. Other guy is nice but balding badly and I'm not so sure". 90% of the time basic biology actually drives these choices and what is worded is a rationalization.. Most women often lack self-awareness to even understand their own imperatives (as do most men). …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:04 PM
1

You did and I generally agree with your overall point.. my generally outlook is that women behave a lot more like men than our culture portrays. That said, you look at bad boys/ nice guy as if it's a one dimensional equation.. women will take Ryan Reynolds over Joe Pesci 100 times out of a 100. It doesn't matter that Joe is aggressive and unsafe / unpredictable. There are multiple factors at play.. but generally physical attractiveness is 90% of the equation. Demeanor is a minor factor.. for bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:50 PM
16

I don't think RP hates women, it's more about refusing the bluepill culture around women being kind fair little angels and that being nice equals romantic success. Red pill pretty much approaches women the way women approach men.. women know that men might ditch out if a hotter woman becomes available. Women know that men chase beauty and sex.. think with their dicks etc. To me red pill is really the realization that women are also human and relationships with them are frought with risks.. Basic…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:06 PM
0

Men like pornstars even if they usually date less flashy/promiscuous women. Humans gonna human. We're all turned on by hotties, but we also have brains and can extrapolate certain behaviors will prevent a healthy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:46 PM
1

I think too many people skip right to the chase and become pushy too quickly. My approach is that I only really need to initiate positive interactions and let them progress naturally, or end naturally without taking it personally. Sometimes women initated positive interactions with me.. sometimes we vibed, and sometimes we didn't. Being forward, pushy or needy is really the core of the issue here. As long as it's a positive interaction, there is no risk to anyone's safety, pride etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 03:56 PM
5

I think this bitterness is the last phase of blue pill pretty much. If you approach women as if they are precious angels that can be convinced to love you by being nice to them, sooner or later your world view will be confronted with reality. I think men who do the blue pill for a while do tend to reach this stage.. it comes before the realization that your theories don't reflect reality and that you need to go back to the drawing board.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 10:58 PM
1

Dating for men is a numbers game.. even men who are in the top few percentile face high rejection.. It's something like 1:10 success to failure for them, maybe closer to 1:25 for average men. Rationally, if the app doubles your exposure the numbers become more favorable. There are really only two ways men solve the equation.. investing time, effort and money into becoming more attractive to improve the success/failure ratio, or increasing the number of women you approach. It's much cheaper/ easi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:47 PM
1

While true, this is how it works in most other aspects as well. Women are much more receptive if you have straight teeth, nice shirts, nice shoes, nice watch, expensive haircuts, cars etc. Most men buy expensive things to impress women and not for their own satisfaction. Spending 20$ on an app is just a drop in the bucket.. and actually pretty good value per date compared to some of these other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:37 PM
1

This is pretty much how heterosexual relationships work lol. The App is just the tip of the iceberg.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 12:01 PM
1

With liberal women specifically or in general?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 09:10 PM
3

Plenty of people think of Republicans as the party for the rich, or the racist party.. These axis do not land anywhere on the masculinity spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:56 PM
2

So someone agreed with Lindsay Graham and they become more masculine than if they had agreed with Barack Obama? Interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:42 PM
6

I don't know that republican or democrat leanings are good proxy for ideology. Both are fairly amoral, ideologically incoherent, and split tightly amongst regional and racial lines.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:03 PM
2

I would interpret this as a low chemistry, weak attraction sort of issue. When the chemistry and attraction is strong people have a hard time keep their hands to themselves and their pants on. Sex happens easily, organically and often. In dating, chemistry is one of the things you need to check for. If she's able to wait for months, it's not there.. You are right to be concerned.. but don't write that off as a failing on her part, it's a failing in investing time in a low compatibility relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 07:00 PM
32

How is conservatism correlated with testorestone exactly ? Ideology and the physical presence of hormones has next to nothing to do with one another. As people age they tend to get more conservative and have less testosterone for instance.. There is no link between these concepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 06:00 PM
–

I don't disagree that it can be hard and that not everyone enjoys the same success with the same effort. But I also think most men can find love if they have the right mindset. Treating women well, presenting yourself well, having your fears in check and the humility to approach and accept rejection gracefully.. over a long period if needed.. can work wonders. It does no good to rage at women's behaviors and at the inequalities of life.. these are not things we can impact. We only really have co…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 02:10 AM
0

It's not.. Chads don't do any of that. It's 80% chemistry... You simply need to cast a wide net of positive interactions to find where chemistry is present. Where you have strong chemistry with someone, none of the rest is required. If you don't, no amount of gestures or posturing will remedy it. But if you don't have the very basics of decency mastered, that's enough to kill any positive interaction.. so the chemistry cannot be assessed.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 03:14 PM
1

You can can network anywhere if you have a healthy social life. Many friends will have girlfriends, who will have friends.. some of them single women.. The key is to have many positive interactions with as many people as possible. It opens many doors in the second and third degrees. Coworkers can become friends and they have friends, spouses who have friends, sisters, cousins, neighbors.. Even if your hobby is a sausage fest, there is value in these connections and positive interactions as they …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:06 PM
0

Bare minimum social decency isn't 'doing all that'.. we're talking minutes per day in effort. If you look around most men are paired up and this is how they did it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:15 PM
6

Being a victim of impossible circumstances is easier on the ego than putting on a clean shirt, brushing your teeth, smiling and being pleasant to the women around you.. and above all, accepting rejection gracefully. Most of the average men are paired up. Fat guys, bald guys, short guys, poor guys, dumb guys.. Half of these adjectives fit me and I'm paired up lol. It takes some effort and some humility but most men manage.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:37 PM
–

There is also just that more attention / dates / sex is on offer from the male direction. Men sell in a saturated buyer's market. Value is determined by supply and demand.. when male attention is in abundant supply, it's individual value is lowered. It's not women's fault that some other guys send out 600 random DMs a week.. or that every day in the office 19 other dudes will look her up and down like she's a sandwich. She is merely operating as a rational actor in a vastly different market dyna…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 05:13 PM
–

This is such a strawman. Most men around you are paired up. I'd bet most of the men are your job are paired up, even the average ones, the fat ones, the short ones, the bald ones.. If it wasn't possible, why would this be ? Women do sometimes hookup with hot dudes. Hot dudes like to smash, and women like hot dudes. But these rarely turn into relationships.. these are more like cheap thrills. He gets something and she gets something, that's all that matters. It's like getting a lapdance. When I g…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 02:15 PM
1

If you could meet and hookup with strippers on the dance floor you would too.. I think the large difference is not preference or even behavior, it's the availability of conventionally attractive people of each gender available for hookups. If dudes could get in line after a Dua Lipa concert and she smashed 20 random dudes.. you might. But she likely doesn't do this like a male rockstar might.. so we don't
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:50 PM
1

Maybe the same caliber, but skewed for overall suitability in a LTR and skewed for sexual attraction in a ONS. Sort of like how you'd use one selection process to pick a stripper for a lap dance, and another entirely for a girl you'd bring home to meet your parents. The chest/waist would be less of a factor in a life partner than in a cheap thrills situation. Women work the same.. we are all roughly the same animal.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 08:34 PM
3

That doesn't seem to track. Most men I know, including very average men, are paired up. This video is one man, one app in one city.. it doesn't necessarily extrapolate to anything useful. Another observation.. if you are only going for hookups and being direct about it, you are not really dating. Hookups and cheap thrills generally tend to heavily favor certain body types.. Just like men get lapdances and follow OF content from specific body types..
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 07:03 PM
2

They pretty much do if you normalize for the number of hours worked. Men on average do 10 more hours of paid work than women a week. 31H vs 41H at least here in Canada.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:00 AM
3

I don't think Red Pill is necessarily anti-feminist or right-leaning. If you boil it right down, women are free now. Free to pursue the men they are most attracted to. Free to leave relationships or marriage anytime for any number of reason. We can argue about the societal causes for this all day but it's moot. It's how the world works now. The blue pill we were raised in doesn't help men navigate these intersexual dynamics effectively. It takes a different framework to navigate from the male pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:53 PM
1

Well yes, but "like them" means they're getting a go from the woman's amygdala.. which looks at things like genes and status before it floods the brain with oxytocin etc. It's correct to say looks/status or face/height/muscle/money or just liking/vibing.. if you boil down vibes, or boil down looks/status it all comes full circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 08:43 PM
10

It's not enough in isolation to keep a relationship but it's the most essential component of finding one and largely needed to maintain as well The level of competition between men is higher I would say. There's a never ending barrage of men of all attractiveness level who will hit on your GF/wife shamelessly and consistently. This is not something typical heterosexual women tend to deal with to the same degree. We know when the spark is lost there are always wolves circling around to take advan…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 05:30 PM
4

I think a lot of red pill is just recognizing that women chase hotties, date around and sleep around just like men do. In my mind simply recognizing these facts, and factoring them into your life choices, does not make you progressive or conservative.. Where you enter conservatism is when you try to coerce them out of their behaviors and preferences.. If you are a liberal, you will defend their freedoms to do what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:23 PM
1

Presentation is worth a few percent but the overall mechanics of attraction is biological / physiological, and not something that is truly accessible to all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:08 PM
9

I'd venture that 60-75% of men don't have the potential to become really attractive. So in that sense it's difficult. For women I would say attractiveness comes a lot easier.. but they are at much higher risks of abuse and violence then men are, and that's no picnic either.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:36 PM
3

Most men I know, young and old, are in a relationship with a woman. If it was a wider societal problem you would think this wouldn't be possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:04 PM
1

Most average men I know are paired up and go to parties etc with their significant others? What you are describing is true in your early 20s maybe.. but that's a specific period that passes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 09:44 PM
1

Exactly. If you were playing games, you take the chance that it will be interpreted as disinterest. Without knowing the other person too well, you have to assume their actions are genuine reflections of their feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 04:02 PM
1

Some level of kissing and groping within the first 3 dates roughly ? I mean everyone is different but for me I think if there is strong chemistry we aren't keeping our hands to ourselves and usually the pants are not far behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 03:55 PM
2

This is also true for men. If I was dating a woman who showed no interest in sex after a few dates I'd assume that's down to lack of interest/attraction as well. A healthy relationship should result in both parties earning each other's trust and dropping their guards gradually. If that doesn't happen organically it's time to cut your losses.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 03:42 PM
1

Basically every adjective that you assign to yourself is cringe and dubious.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 03:32 PM
3

Some jobs require strong communication skills or that you paid attention in school and got the degree. Things women tend to do well at. There's not as many high paying blue collar jobs as in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:26 AM
4

No doubt most men feel that way. Most have prejudice against Jews, blacks, arabs that work on that same principle "I don't hate all Jews just the bankers and the zionists. Antisemitism isn't all bad" Misogyny is never justified IMO but it's totally fine to criticize the actions of individual women.. so long as it's the action you take issue and not the gender of the person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:51 AM
3

I can't relate.. a woman has never stopped me from performing or achieving anything. Hatred and jealousy are almost always based on externalizing fear or shame. I think the real reason for misogyny is men scapegoating women.. or DEI.. for their own failures, instead of looking inwards. Even here in the most liberal cities, the top people in almost every organization are straight white dudes. You have to be pretty fragile to feel these factors are holding you back in any tangible way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 01:00 AM
28

It's probably closer to 'Misogyny comes from protecting men's social privilege. Some men don't like to see women outcompete them in the workplace, the marketplace, or in sexual conquests.. and they are salty about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:25 PM
4

You completely sidestepped my point.. asshole/nice is a minor factor. Hot/ugly is the main thing. Plenty of women date assholes.. it's not exactly rare. 0 women say they like assholes but a huge number still gets with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 09:19 PM
6

In my view women can denounce/deny that they like certain things to protect their public image. In private they might still let get into his DMs. If we're using YT user content to make our points you should check out the jailbreak dating app experiments. https://youtu.be/Alp3kLya2m4?si=P2ZVClpizaZVsoEa How would you explain behavior trumping looks when the huge percentage of women will demonstrably overlook a complelety horrible bio to get with a hottie? My basic premise is that men and women bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 08:54 PM
9

In both of these cases you overlooked the main factor (looks) and overplayed a very minor factor (behavior). I compared these scenarios as they both directly depend on drawing the gaze of the opposite sex.. and that works in specific ways driven by biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:39 PM
10

I am not.. I am just illustrating that respect is not an important metric in attraction and in dating success. Men are still attracted to disrespectful women provided they have the right physical attributes.. and the thing same is true for women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 05:16 PM
13

Do you think Sydney Sweeney's getting her major roles lately because she is respectful? And that the average girl will land roles like that by diligently learning her lines and being polite during castings? If she stopped being respectful, do you think she will stop being sucessful in entertainment and dating? There is a reality to being attractive that simply transcends behavior.. it works very much the same for men. Women understand the red pill intuitively and practice it every day. Most seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:14 PM
39

The universal way is: 1 - Be attractive 2 - Don't be unattractive. As far as approaching successfully, it requires assessing mutual attraction via body language and acceptance that it's rarely there in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 04:03 PM
11

Yes, the attractive men are the tiny minority who really clean up.. that was the original point.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 01:25 PM
1

There's a whole culture of Pick Up Artist in the red pill that I don't subscribe to. I think Red Pill is a good model for understanding attraction. Beyond that, it's not a useful guide for building and sustaining quality relationships with women. There are many more angles to relationships than attraction alone. You do need to be kind and supportive to your partner if your goal is something beyond hooking up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 01:30 PM
1

You are a woman, you will likely get some level of male interest even if this is not your number 1 priority. For men, the dynamics are very different. Many men will get next to zero female interest. They will need to work hard to get a fraction of what you likely get without trying. Being born a man puts us on the wrong side of the supply/demand curve in mating.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 11:40 PM
8

Is this the moment you turn red pill ? I've dabbled in it and I think there is truth to it but it's not 100% accurate. I think red pill is a good model to understand attraction and the mechanics of the hookup culture.. But it's not an accurate depiction of real-life in that monogamy is still the dominant goal for both genders and relationship skills beyond simply creating attraction are still necessary. It's ultimately more important and more fulfulling to be a good person than to simply to be 1…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 01:23 PM
3

Long term stability is already dead in traditional marriage.. just look at the divorce rates. Serial monogamy while maintaining rational legal/financial distances to account for rising risk of separation just makes more and more sense. It also allows couples to reduce housing costs.. they can act as if they were married in some aspects but remain somewhat prepared to split.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 07:28 PM
10

This is true.. for me specifically I dabbled in RP when I noticed the large disconnect between how women speak, and how they actually behave. Some of this is down to evolution and general female conflict avoidance / community building. Women tend towards indirect communication styles and virtue signaling. This is a phenomenon that you can observe yourself, but it's not politically correct to point out in polite company. Once you start to look more at mating behavior and less at language, the cle…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:56 PM
31

I think our culture depicts men accurately.. as being cheating, perverted, deceitful, violent, selfish.. You bring a guy home to meet your parents he will be considered harmful unless proven otherwise. Our culture depicts women as kind, fair, gentle angels. You bring a girl home to meet your parents and they will be charmed.. they will treat her as harmless unless proven otherwise. The red pill to an extent is the realization that our social conditioning was bad. Women act a lot more like men th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:39 PM
6

You have it backwards. Misogyny does not cause dating success... dating success causes misogyny to some extent. When a man reaches a certain level of success where women throw themselves at them all the time, they can begin to treat women as disposable. A bit like how women on dating sites treat their matches and their messages.. When they have so many offers they become sort of meaningless. You are 100% right that acting misogynistic will not improve your odds.. the extent that it works is only…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:36 PM
2

I realize average vs median is different. Most men make closer to the median for sure.. even 90K isn't impressing women in the US today. But as you know, 45K USD is still very hard to come by in most other countries. I can't really say what passport bros plan to do. Maybe wine and dine and screw in the Philippines for a few months and head back. Maybe they hope to bring someone back to marry. Maybe they have a way to be digital nomads. Maybe they straight up just pay for sex and they can buy a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 05:25 PM
1

For sure
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:54 PM
1

Having good skin, nice teeth, nice clothes, cheekbones, curves, hair, dimples etc are all a result of privilege as well. The whole game runs on privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:17 PM
5

Put another way, let's say a dude from Norway stays next door for a few weeks. He's 6'2 and makes 180K. Say you live in small town Kentucky where nothing much happens. Maybe in his small town in Norway, he was average. Everyone is tall, and everyone has good jobs on the oil rigs or whatever. The women think he's OK or meh. Some guys there are 6'5 and make 300K. These are the ones with all the sucess. Once he's in the average US small town, he slots in right near the top of the dating pool. Our p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 03:09 PM
3

I mean minimum as above the bar that you can live a marginal lifestyle in the west.. which isn't really desirable to most western women. But worldwide, your below average American is financially better off than most of his foreign counterparts. The average income in the Philippines is 4K USD.. in the US it's 92K. For height, the average man in the US is 5'10, and the average in the Philippines is 5'4 Someone can be average to below average in the US and potentially find himself in the top percen…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 02:59 PM
3

It makes sense - there is an oversupply of men with minimum incomes in the west who can't land a fertile woman. There is an oversupply of fertile women in the east who can't land a man with a minimum income. Travel enables supply and demand to equalize to a degree
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 02:46 PM
–

You are looking at attraction on the axis of behavior, when it's mostly just a product of biology. The chads and players don't objectify women because they are bad people, they objectify women as they are swamped with sexual options, making each of them easily replaceable. When something is in abundant supply, it becomes less valuable. The biology causes this behavior, not the other way around. This is true of men as well. Many men date difficult women and reward bad behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:36 PM
3

They idealize their success with women, real or perceived.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:16 PM
2

It's a biological caveman process in our subconscious. It works very much the same way as bonding and attraction in women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 11:05 AM
7

No.. the brain knows the difference. It normally releases oxytocin (bonding hormones) after actual sex.. but not after going solo. The thing OP is describing is that the brain sometimes doesn't release oxytocin even with a woman.. she might have gotten you to orgasm but the brain knows she isn't a keeper and opts to not bond you.. Hence the post nut clarity. Pre-nut, the horniness crowds out our view. Once that's released, you get clarity on what else is there or not there.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:23 AM
–

I think you should also consider the massive volume of dates, messages, 'players' out there on offer on the side of men. The reason for the red pill is that there is just a tremendous quantity of male attention on offer. As a man, you are trying to sell yourself in a buyer's market. The women themselves are not causing 90 other guys to send messages to the same cute girl you just wrote to. Market forces cause an oversupply, crowding average men out of the market, swamping women with bad options,…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 01:34 AM
1

You could be that guy in the eye of the right woman though.. Agreed that it's mostly pre-determined. Think of dating as detective work to find out which bucket you land in with a particular woman, and less as trying to convince / sway her decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 04:32 PM
1

The same banter lands quite differently depending on who is delivering it. It's a trap to think men can short-circuit evolution with conversation. It's a minor factor at best. Attractiveness is more more primal than social. The typical man will get better returns working on his physical fitness than his conversation skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 02:39 PM
2

If you know any men who are considered conventionally attractive, you will find that women are constantly approaching them and are quite direct about it. The reason most women don't approach most men is that they aren't attracted to most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 02:34 PM
1

Personally I am purple pill - I believe there are two sexual marketplaces. -A short term "hookup culture" which acts very much as the red pill outlines - there is an asymmetrical distribution as the top men are sexually accessible to a wider range of women. A male 9 or 10 sleeps with hundreds of women who are 6,7 and 8s. These women having access to 9s and 10s don't really hookup with 6,7 and 8s males. This is what RP calls hypergamy. -The long term market where people partner up, buy a house, g…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 03:23 PM
1

I am more purple pill than red pill personally. I do believe that for understanding attraction and modern dating dynamics, hypergamy is a useful concept and is a generally accurate model. I absolutely believe in love. Love, sex and attraction are not interchangeable terms. Love has a platonic dimension, you build a friendship and a partnership over time as well as have a sexual dimension in a marriage, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 01:20 PM
1

It's surface level for women as well but more criteria need to be met.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/26 12:42 PM
2

It's relevant but if these men don't exceed the bar, there is no sex available to them.. Hence no gamy to form the complete word hypergamy lol. Hyper attraction but not hypergamy
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 09:47 PM
2

Because this selection bias for equal/higher financial status is specific to female mate selection. Men will readily date down, sideways or up the economic ladder. It's not a relevant factor for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 09:36 PM
3

It is hypergamy in contrast to how men behave. High likelihood that Drake will bang a handful of groupies on his next tour concert, for example. He likely doesn't care about their life details. He's a star, they are hot. Economics don't factor into these decisions. I don't think Sabrina Carpenter or Tate McRae lets fan after fan enter their suite for quickies after a concert. They likely want to get with other artists, athletes, actors.. people on their level or better.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 09:23 PM
2

Let's say for the sake of modeling the red pill that you ranked all men from 1-10 based on looks-50%, money-40% and charisma-10%. Every man gets a score of 1-10 on the final score. In the red pill this is the SMV (sexual marketplace value) Now repeat the relative SMV for every woman. Now the formula is more like 90% looks, 5% charm, 5% virtue. It's not really about her looks vs his, or his money. It's her relative rank amongst the available females, vs his relative rank amongst the available men…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 09:03 PM
2

How they are weighed exactly is extremely subjective and also depends on cultural norms etc. It's just a general model. As an extreme example of the theory at play, think of Cinderella and other similar tales. The pretty peasant girl is on the level of the prince. It wouldn't work in reverse. There isn't a fairy tale of a princess marrying a handsome peasant. A poor man, regardless of his looks is going to be mid to most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 08:54 PM
6

In the red pill theory, male attractiveness is a composite score . One portion looks, and one portion socio-economic success, and a dash of 'smoothness/mojo (game). The combination of the 3, compared to the other men, needs to match or exceed the women's relative beauty, compared to other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 06:43 PM
3

This is basically it. In our society women are valued for their physical appearance and fertility. Men are valued for achieving success. Put bluntly, women's sexuality is objectified, and men's success is objectified. Does that make men shallow and women hypergamous? Generally yes - but this is how our culture works. Not everyone follows the cultural norms.. and not everyone is able to attract what they want.. to go after conventional attractiveness means facing steep competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 06:29 PM
1

Men and women both have biological itches to scratch. The sex is mostly useful in scratching that itch and releasing the related tension. It's not the result of a rational cost/benefit analysis.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 05:50 PM
5

Is it objectification or can it be purely transactional ? If there is coercion involved, that's another thing entirely.. But all of us with regular jobs trade our bodily and mental wellness for dollars in one way or another. As long as the transaction is mutually beneficial and agreed upon, it's not fundamentally different than working construction and wrecking your knees moving materials all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 01:58 PM
7

Same applies for women. Long term, exclusive relationships work exactly the same for women as for men. A woman who walks away from a long term relationship with a real life partner faces a real chance she won't find another. It's easier for women to find hookups, but hookups for women are constantly on offer.. they don't have any value. It's the female equivalent of a man hitting escorts and hitting shady massages places. Cheap thrills where the other person isn't that into you, and might not re…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:50 PM
3

I think if you boil it right down confidence is that you don't need or seek external validation. Those people who don't see your value or can't see past your height, for the most part, have little to offer you in return themselves. You aren't missing out on anything by failing to impress them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 03:26 PM
2

Women come and go. You don't own her, no matter what the vows or the paperwork says. The answer is simply don't plan to being together forever. Don't get married thinking that for you it will be different somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 04:41 PM
1

Asexual might not be the right word. More likely men will gradually channel their efforts and resources towards sex workers and other cheap thrills like OF, porn etc instead of pursuing relationships with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/25 03:47 PM
3

Plus female desire works on a stratification basis. If all men suddenly became 6'2, the bar would move to 6'8. If all men had a jawline that can cut glass, it would then move to dimples or eyebrow ridges or ear shapes. There are trillions of sperm chasing each egg. Women want to secure amongst the best that is available. There is a lot of supply on offer that they can rationally weed out.. it's as simple as that. Being born a man puts you, by default, on the wrong side of the sexual supply and d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 03:38 PM
4

This is the wrong mindset. Always have small positive interactions with women and (if single) being open to wherever that goes.. including nowhere. You lose nothing. It doesn't matter if you are friend zoned, you made her smile, you hone your people skills, and you are no worse for it. The trick is to avoid investing yourself too early. You vibe or you don't.. The next woman and the one after that might vibe or not. Where you can go wrong is to pursue someone you don't vibe with. Get good at fig…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 04:11 PM
6

You have built up quite a strawman here. Absolutely nothing stops you from having positive social interactions with women. Some of these positive social interactions will escalate naturally.. 95% of them won't. All you need to do is have positive interaction and be open to wherever it might lead. - there is no downside or stigma to smiling, holding doors, telling SFW jokes, complimenting non-physical things, asking pertinent questions etc. Being attractive might bring this number down to 85%, be…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:54 PM
7

I think it's more like deploring a wider societal phenomenon. There were good aspects to traditional gender roles that both genders miss. I'm sure many would prefer to be in a relationship like Marge and Homer Simpson. Unfortunately, no amount of grinding on my part can turn Carrie Bradshaw into Marge Simpson. No grinding can turn 2025 into 1955. A rational person should not expect to change the culture, but needs figure out how to flow with the current.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:23 PM
6

The modern relationships are a post-feminist dynamic. No denying it. Women are free to go and that's good for them. But it would be silly for men to pretend we are in the 1950s gender roles anymore. When she is statistically a 40% flight risk, you don't place the same value or investment into the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 01:25 PM
6

Our ancestors would get married at like 18 and the woman would stick around until death do them part. The world has changed. Today the divorce rate is 54% and the overwhelming majority is initiated by women. It would be silly to go all in on that roll of dice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 01:14 PM
5

This! My son was like 9 and he laughed when he saw a meme of gigachad. I never talked to him about red pill / blue pill to him.. it's in the culture. They, as a culture, understand women go for one type of chin over all others.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 11:50 PM
23

Hard work does not really amount to success at work, socially or in dating for the average man. Success is increasingly a function of privilege and genetics, and men recognize that having average looks and being middle-class has a hard ceiling. Grinding hard to overcome it is very tiresome and has a very low probability of paying the intended dividend. A disproportionate amount of labor and hassle must be expended, where that energy can be spent more efficiently chasing financial independence an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 09:41 PM
1

Au contraire, some men are almost guaranteed success. These are often down to looks, money, height, status. This is basically the gap in the bluepill ideology. Women can be positively feral around conventionally attractive men. It really is as simple as 'become conventionally attractive' - simple but not easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 09:04 PM
1

I think you are mixing up a few things. The bluepill is to assume the best about female mating behavior. That they are 100% honest, sincere, loyal. That they are a fairer sex. Sunshine and rainbows.. Happily ever after. Bluepill will feel safer and easier, until the day your bubble burst. The redpill is to assume that women only care about looks, status, height money. That they will drop you in a heartbeat if someone hotter comes along. You will only find success in love by furthering yourself a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 08:48 PM
1

Sorry to hear. Give it time and try again. There's some really great women out there. My approach is to assume all romantic relationships are transient. Enjoy them but don't lose yourself in them.. don't abandon yourself.. remain ready to walk as needed. The key relationship to maintain is with yourself. Lovers come and go, such is life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:33 AM
0

Well yes, we both own half a house and pay for half a house. We would both receive the equity we've put in respectively. There is no potential loss from walking away, financially-speaking.. beyond the fees of selling a house. If we were married, we'd be on the hook for each other's debts and we'd split savings, retirement accounts etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 05:33 PM
1

We have easy comparables.. France, Germany, Holland, Australia. Are Dutch / French / German men less bitter / frustrated than men in the US ? Seemingly yes.. hard to quantify exactly. There are also wider cultural differences that might contribute to this. There seems to be quite a bit of red pill / black pill content originating from Australia however.. so the effects between comparable cultures seem debatable at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 05:27 PM
0

No we own a house together and pay 50/50.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:42 AM
0

By definition if you don't sign away yours she won't sign away hers. This dude number 3 is me. 3 kids and never tied the knot. We each have our accounts, assets, cars, retirements. Thing go south, we can both just walk out the door. Men like myself are more apprehensive about marriage as divorce courts have an observable bias.. and women initiate almost 80% of divorces. We all know too many men who were burned by the fineprint on this contract.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 09:24 PM
–

True - success also comes with consistency. In high school, things like privilege and genetics are crystal clear advantages, and the compounding effect of hard work haven't had the time to make much difference At 30 or 40, someone who eats clean, works out often, grinds at work, saves, invests consistently will have a tremendous advantage over someone who just coasted. In some cases, it will even be enough to overcome privilege / genetics to some degree, or narrow the gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 02:34 PM
2

True, but a much smaller impact than looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:41 AM
14

Female attraction works very much like male attraction. It's 90% looks. The difference is mostly down to social conditioning and communication styles. Men will outright say they want a face like this and an ass like that. Men are socialized to employ direct communication styles and to not shy away from controversy. Women are socialized to mind their image and their reputation.. and appear virtuous. They communicate more indirectly and signal virtue at every occasion. In the field we're all the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:41 PM
–

This. Most men are not going to have the grace, charm, communication skill and looks of your average woman. This is like a woman complaining she will never be strong enough to move their couch down the stairs. Hire a mover.. if you don't have the card, rent it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 04:16 PM
1

While this is theoretically plausible, if Jack is a 6 or a 7 he can likely find a LTR with a 6 or a 7.. LTRs are more like a standard distribution than hookups. If this girl or that girl is holding out for a 10 , Jack needs to nope out and keep looking. Mating theory can help recognize and navigate these situations effectively. He is not entitled to a certain type of relationship, but adding limiting beliefs in the mix is also not going to help, either.. There's plenty of 6s and 7s datings 6s an…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 12:41 AM
1

Yep.. just as a woman might not really disclose all of her hookups either. The impact that this has on future relationships is not that significant.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 04:46 PM
3

Your body, your wallet, your choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 04:41 PM
–

Where did she say that??
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 03:11 PM
2

I mean 74% of Americans are overweight.. simply having basic health and fitness in check puts you ahead of most.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 09:44 PM
6

You mentioned the physique above all.. but the physique is mutable. Most men can eat well and exercise regularly to improve their physique. Most men stand to gain in attractiveness by maxing their fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:19 PM
1

Why is this woman in a vulnerable position? She has the same earning potential as men..
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 12:00 AM
–

What a lot of us call game is just avoiding the obvious pitfalls. Don't be clingy or overly available. Have your own internal certainties about yourself that she can't shake. Beyond these, you will likely do best by just being your authentic self.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 11:54 PM
2

Most men in my circle are decent people, and most have been in relationships for their entire adult lives. I think you are omitting a lot of relationships in your analysis if you can't find any decent men in relationships.. you aren't looking very hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 12:39 AM
1

Dating as a man in college is supposed to be hard. These women are near their peak in options. They have older, more established men hitting on them online and wherever they go. My takeaway from this experience would be that you are going after the absolute top few percent of women in your area, and having mixed success. This is a good thing.. doubly so as some of them are approaching you first. A portion of your issues may be ND but guaranteed most of it is just being on the wrong side of suppl…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 03:19 PM
0

This is a fair and relational assessment. I don't think there is much one can do on the supply side though. Men will literally kill in order to reproduce. It's very difficult to keep a lid on this hence why most of the shaming gets directed towards women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 04:53 PM
0

You won't really know how she treated other men, beyond the curated version of events she will share with you. Really it's not relevant. She is a good partner to you, or she isn't. Your ego is not hers to manage..
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 12:45 AM
–

This. Women behave much more like men than society leads us to believe. They tend to signal virtue, but don't necessarily practice it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 12:34 AM
1

I think equating fertility to wealth is a false dichotomy. SMV is probably closer to 95% looks for men, and 85-90% looks for women as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 12:29 AM
1

You are completely correct.. The difference is the power dynamic. A woman can be overpowered and coerced by a man. The opposite, while theoretically possible, is statistically far less likely.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 08:42 PM
1

I think your point was correct in 1955.. back when people lived in tight-knit communities and were familiar with each other's history. Nowadays you almost certainly will enter a relationship with a stranger. You have no real idea about their past.. beyond the curated version she will share with you. There is no stigma to cheating or leaving frequently because that information will get buried in the shuffle. She will signal virtue hard at first no matter how virtuous she actually is. As a man you…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 02:41 PM
1

She could also look to 'upgrade' to a better LTR. Or like you say, more of a Chad pump and dump situation. In either case, a plurality of women will elect one of these two options at some point during their marriage or LTR. Hence - it's just your turn. If you accept the situation and act accordingly, you stand to lose nothing. If you pretend love is a fairytale with an angel, you have a 40% chance of getting burned.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 05:41 PM
1

I don't see a contradiction? A woman can have self-respect and still monkey branch from one man to another, higher status / more handsome man.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 05:28 PM
22

It's more based on behavior than body type. You did not orbit, white knight, bribe, plead.. you behaved with self-respect. You understand that attraction is something you find, not something you negotiate. I think alpha, beta, sigma is all pseudo-science baloney.. if you behave with self-respect and authenticity, you will usually come out ahead. When you feel attraction and it isn't mutual you take the L like a grown man and bow out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 03:22 PM
–

That's the first thing that came to my mind as well!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:44 PM
–

Exactly. Many men buy into women's virtue signaling, while their actual behavior is much more animalistic/amoral and much closer to how men also behave.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:05 PM
–

I mean put a hot female nazi on a dating site, I'd bet many left-leaning men would still tap that if they could. Men and women are very similar. Will overlook many flaws to get a shot at sleeping with hotties.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 03:01 PM
1

If the woman is high value then she gets constant attention and offers from men.. and she is socially and legally free to pursue them. To state that they don't play these games is wrong.. A plurality of them invariably will.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 01:14 PM
1

This is correct.. but the main takeaway, if she isn't yours.. don't commit like she will be. If you approach modern relationships as temporary and transient, then you don't put a year's salary on a wedding. You don't put your life savings down on a house. You don't put on a full banquet when her family comes over for breakfast.. you don't fix her car. Women want the freedom AND full investment from men.. but there is a contradiction at play.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 01:03 PM
2

I need to ask.. what's the pink pill? First time I see this anywhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:55 PM
1

I think they want to attract men who can control themselves and hold a respectful adult conversation. Of course they know the curves brought you to them. You both know it. There is a pass/fail if you can't keep your focus.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:13 AM
-1

I think I am decent.. but a bit below the percentile where you are on easy mode. Maybe a 7/10 on a good day. I'm decently fit, tanned, proportional, green eyes, dimples, good hair, straight teeth.. If I was 6'+ I would be on easy mode, but I'm 5'7 so that holds me back. It seems some women care a lot, and some care very little. I've even met a few who seemed to prefer being in the eye-to-eye range.. but that's rare. It was extremely hard to gage which were which. There is no pattern to it. I wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:45 AM
–

I'm not full-in on the red pill, but they are completely correct that attractiveness does not correlate to niceness or investment. Attractive men will remain attractive regardless of their behavior. This is what people refer to as bad boys. It's not that they are inherently bad, but that women will flock regardless. Unattractive men will remain unattractive regardless of their behavior, niceness, compliments, gifts. The same joke will not illicit any laughter. There are plenty to tinder experime…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 11:05 AM
1

Statistically men and women cheat at the same rates.. but women initiate far more divorces. I'm not saying this to bash women, my issue is marriage itself. Relationships are inherently temporary and transient.. Regardless of gender, you can't bet your financial security on another person's amygdala releasing chemicals in perpetuity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 08:42 PM
1

I'm not married specifically because I dread this exact question and it's high statistical probability.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 08:35 PM
1

This is mostly true - the kicker is that divorce is usually initiated by the woman (80%). Men choose these women but would, more often than not, opt to stay together. However knowing that there is a 40% chance that she leave you and takes a portion of your assets long, the smart choice for men is to not get married. Women stand to gain assets and only face a 10% chance the husband initiates a divorce, so marriage is a smart choice in their case.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 01:56 PM
3

This is the price to pay to not spend most of your free time around idiots, and I'll gladly pay it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 04:05 PM
2

I don't think psychopathy is necessarily involved. If you have lots of options, you filter potential partners out with trial relationships that include a sexual dimension. As long as you are honest about it, and actually trying to find a satisfying LTR, there is no deception involved. I think the psychopath in contrast, strings women along with the premise of an LTR he doesn't intent to have. Using them for gratification, knowingly telling them otherwise..
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 03:58 PM
1

Exactly. It's like they evaluate a 3d object in 2D.. he's tall and handsome. (But has addictions, beats me, steals, cheats, drives drunk, and spends recklessly) Men do this too.. they'll get fixated on a pretty girl and gloss over all of her character flaws. I judge people who fixate on the proportion of a few body parts and fail to see the whole of the human it's attached to. Men or women..
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:00 AM
1

It shaped my internal world view and how I see relationships and intersexual dynamics. I will speak openly about it if asked, but I'm not trying to convert anyone. If you think the red pill is mostly correct, then you know that attraction isn't correlated to your political views or to the level of enlightenment that you've achieved. She's mostly with you because the combination of looks, confidence and money drew her in. The rest, including red pill or blue pill world views, are not strongly cor…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 11:33 PM
2

There absolutely is a way to approach women.. you just need to have one positive interaction as two human beings. Share a joke, a laugh, an observation.. No need to force or push anything. That you happen to be heterosexual people of compatible genders who might vibe, or might not.. it won't get decided by your choice of words or the setting. Biology decides where these interactions go. Your amygdala's release oxytocin, or they don't. All you need to do is to set the stage and see what comes of …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 10:34 PM
2

How is being left-leaning correlated with non-masculine personality traits? Are most men in Europe, Canada, Australia, NZ etc less masculine than the average American? Are god-fearing women in rural areas less feminine as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 04:38 PM
0

Fit / unfit isn't directly correlated to nerd/ bad boy. A full spectrum of physical capacity and body types exists for any personality trait..
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 04:33 PM
0

I think you are conflating multiple things here. Physical attractiveness is completely separate from personality or temperament.. likewise being nerdy and being an asshole are completely unrelated. Plenty of very smart people are extremely abrasive. Someone can be a raging asshole regardless of their looks or interest in science.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 04:24 PM
1

Partly, people have a hard time putting themselves in someone else's perspective. I think men also often fail to appreciate that women are roughly the same animal as us, and behave a lot like men do.. cheat, lie, manipulate, gaslight.. they feel irrational attractions and behave amorally or imorally at times just like men do. Our culture has a way of portraying women as pure and innocent. The reality is that people are people. A full range of character traits exists in both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 01:07 AM
1

Before 30 or so.. yes. After that, it flips somewhat.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 09:43 PM
2

Female attention is less valuable than self-respect. Women come and go, I am with myself 24/7. I agree with your point about women having lots of options for hooking up and we can't really keep a lid on their sexual freedom anymore. Personally I think the right outlook is to just accept that women come and go, and that relationships are fluid and transitory. Don't bank your house, your retirement or your savings on another person's amygdala. The happy juice can stop flowing anytime, or start flo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 09:38 PM
2

You can also expect to be treated well without overextending yourself to maintain relationships with women. I think the red pill view gets it right that attraction and investment are two separate domains.. investing won't generate attraction. Men often get frustrated that they sink time and money into a relationship and the attraction still wanes. I find that it's generally much better to put energy into your fitness / appearance and to invest yourself less. Women will be often be pissed at you,…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 01:23 PM
2

I think you misunderstood the concept. "Chad" is a conventionally attractive man. That's it. Tall dark and handsome. Chad is real. Women care for me and I am in a healthy relationship. But I'm 5'7 and some guys are 6'3 and have better faces/hair etc.. The world receives them differently. In a short term, immediate reaction basis the difference can be huge. Once well acquainted it makes less difference.. as this is one of multiple dimensions to a human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 01:14 PM
1

Ok, I mean that being in a sexless marriage and not having the absolute peak chemistry isn't the same thing. I have had 'modern women' partners who have 'been around the block' (including one night stands with chads surely) and I'm just an average dude, nothing to write home about. We did plenty of stuff. It wasn't an issue. I know I probably wasn't the absolute hottest dude they've had, we still have a good time. I'm a 7 and some dudes are 10s. They'll sleep with anyone.. Staying out of the dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 12:45 PM
0

You are contradicting yourself..
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 11:13 AM
-1

Why such a one dimensional value assessment? Wouldn't it be better to find a woman who you find attractive and who is kind, generous, intelligent, fun, reliable, responsible etc as well? Looks and attraction are one aspect of a successful relationship amongst many others. Don't overlook absolutely everything else..
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 02:24 AM
2

I was spending way less and saving way more as a single guy than once I met someone and had kids. Generally speaking, women do most of the consumer spending, and most advertisering targets women. Once they have access to your account spending will tend to go up, not down.. though this is a gross generalization.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 01:23 PM
0

If she can resist having sex for a month the chemistry is just not strong enough to proceed IMO. There should clearly be sparks flying by the 3rd or 4th date. It should be almost impossible to resist. Remember that sexual attraction is one of cornerstones of a romantic relationship and it would normally peak in the first few weeks and diminish gradually after that..
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 12:36 PM
–

I'd say so. If you take the red pill view that it's 90% looks + money, and you work tirelessly to improve these two areas, you will probably improve your luck in the dating scene beyond what you thought possible. You will get more gains improving your looks than buying better gifts or giving better compliments. The problem is our culture doesn't portray this reality well.. that women are largely superficial and transactional just like men are.. this is taboo. We have a societal view of women as …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 03:55 PM
1

I think you have this backwards.. women are a lot like men. They are attracted to hot people, and more indifferent to average/below average people. Attractive people are used to getting lots of attention.. more or less regardless of their behavior. How much do you care about Sydney Sweeney's behavior, or Ana De Armas.. or anyone else. Let's be honest, they aren't hot for their behavior. Acting kind, genuine, toxic or obnoxious all works on an axis that is non-critical to attraction compared to t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 02:54 PM
3

You should expect some level of attraction and affection in a romantic relationship. The other person doesn't owe it to you, you also don't owe them your continued presence and commitment, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 02:48 PM
2

If one of you is playing games like that, you aren't actually partners.. full stop. Always have a viable path to be able to walk away.. life is too short to be mistreated.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 02:46 PM
1

A quality relationship with an attractive partner is hard to find and hard to replace regardless of gender. Yes, most women can sleep with Chad this weekend if that's what they want. It won't be a quality relationship.. it will more likely be a pump and dump. You can hit the shady Asian massage place anytime as well. Sexual gratification isn't a replacement for a quality relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:03 AM
4

Don't women generally feel entitled to relationships as well ?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:23 PM
8

To be fair the number of unmarried 30 somethings is also on the rise.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 09:54 PM
1

As a man I feel blessed with very low upkeep needs and very large capacity to output work.. mental and physical. For my entire adult life so far I have been able to earn far more than I need to sustain myself comfortably. I also get respect in almost all of my daily interactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 09:51 PM
10

Most people end up with a house and most end up with a mate.. but not all.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 09:09 PM
17

This is a good parallel. For some privileged people, owning a house is a given.. mom and dad will give you X from the trust fund. "Buying a house is easy just call the family accountant and the realtor". If you live in an expensive area, and don't come from generational wealth, you will struggle for years to achieve what some people get on a silver platter. Such is life. Dating is much the same.. if you have the looks, the height, the nice teeth, social connections, social graces, free time, dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 08:08 PM
2

People are free to associate and dissociate at will even after getting married. 40% of married women file for divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 05:41 PM
5

I am one such man.. nothing against my partner but we are not in the 1950s anymore. Women are liberated and they are free. A marriage contract was designed to bind and protect both partners. It's no longer binding, 50% of marriages end of these 80% of these are initiated by women. It also offers absolutely nothing tangible to me in terms of protections.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:11 PM
2

This is also true for women - everyone gets treated differently based on their attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 10:37 PM
2

We have online dating now. You want to meet people, go there. You want to enjoy a drink, go to a bar. You want your dog to socialize, go to the park. The reason people used to approach strangers in bars and public spaces was that dating sites didn't exist. Dating sites are hard, IRL approaches even more so by a factor of 3 or 4.. you have a huge number of people who aren't single and aren't looking in any public setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 01:18 AM
1

I agree with your basic premise. People gonna people. Men and women behave similarly... although there are some gendered difference we are the same animal. Plenty of subpar people and subpar choices to go around with either gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:22 PM
1

How many married men do 0 cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry and parenting nowadays ? Women earn than their mothers did, more and men do more around the house, at least in my circles - ideally this is how you achieve an equal partnership.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 04:17 PM
0

I just look around at the couples around me and it's 50-ish percent IRL as well.. A lot of very solid people I know are divorced..
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 05:49 PM
1

Most men I know are in relationships.. most of them are not mind reader, body builders or anything like that. I'm not saying it's easy but you have built up quite a strawman here. Don't get so tied up with what other people want. Work on yourself, and cultivate positive interaction with people around you. Sooner or later, something will connect. You're not hunting a spouse. you're gardening.. yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:40 AM
5

Seems about right. And you can never really know who is loyal, and who might not be. What it says about modern relationships is that you should be prepared to deal with cheating, divorce etc. The odds are too high to ignore. Hope for the best, plan for the worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 06:43 PM
1

Not denying it.. society tends to see men as more capable and more dangerous. This is well grounded statistically. Men are the greatest danger to women, I agree. My original point is that society more readily gives women kindness and compassion - but generally treats them as less capable. For men, people will tend to view us as more capable but more also threatening - giving us less sympathy, compassion and support. Given this, I feel self-reliance is the best path. You have to play the card you…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 02:05 PM
3

Or the need for external validation and acceptance.. depending on how you look at it. You can't change how society receives you, but you can go in with the wider perspective that, as a man, evolution has given you more potential for self-reliance and less potential for charm and social graces. If you expect to charm your way into support from others, you are swimming against the current to some degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 08:03 PM
1

We will probably see prostitution made legal in more and more places. In liberal jurisdictions, it's often fully legal like in Europe, or it's legally a grey area with toothless laws that arr not-enforced in places like Canada, New-York, California etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 03:40 PM
1

I remember reading that 90% of content creators on OF make 100$ a month or less.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 03:17 PM
1

Isn't it already? Between OF, porn etc probably 90% of men are sexually and financially interacting with the top female content creators. IRL numbers are hard to quantity because of the legal status but also quite widespread. It's basically the hypergamy chart in reverse with money attached.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 03:13 PM
2

This is all true.. I think success comes more from having positive human interactions with people of the opposite sex and just being open to where that leads. Your goal should not be to impress a woman, it should be to have one positive interaction - share a laugh, a smile, open a door, make a witty observation. Beyond that you vibe or you don't. Things progress or they don't. Your amygdala's chemically synch up, or not. That will only be revealed once you interact and It's all neurocircuitry be…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 02:45 PM
2

I don't know if anyone is getting their emotional needs met through porn.. Totally agree though that it's more of a symptom than a cause. There is a legion of women putting their bodies on a screen. Porn is one medium, but social media, OF are other forums where this takes place at scale. Women exposing themselves to strangere are omnipresent. The content multiplies, niches abound, and usage goes up. There is more than one cause here for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 03:27 AM
6

I don't disagree but when you are self-reliant, you can engage on your own terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 03:08 AM
21

This is true.. but I think for many men the best path to happiness is through independence and self-reliance. I'm always amazed at how revealing it is to take a few days in nature by myself. I got a a pack of smokes, and couple of ramen and I live like a king out there. As men we are blessed with a high physical capacity and low upkeep needs. For most of our lives we can output far more than we need to consume. From an evolutionary perspective, we can connect and disconnect from society as we se…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 01:56 PM
1

Unless they are willing to pay.. If you're willing to get used and degraded you can get your rocks off with people outside of your league no matter your plumbing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:22 PM
23

Might it be you who is not attracted to the women who show easy interest? There is a common thread in these interactions..
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:09 PM
1

Agree to disagree. As people grow older the roles tend to flip somewhat. Men start to die off and supply/ demand flips. We have the same biology, that's a constant, but the dating dynamics fluctuate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 10:37 PM
1

My point all along is that supply exceeds demand.. I haven't change anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 10:09 PM
1

It's all due to biology.. male and female. There is an over supply of semen and a short supply of viable eggs and women who can bring healthy babies to term. We all behave accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 09:50 PM
2

If male attention is in high supply, it has a low value. So in a supply/demand equation, yes.. more options means more selectivity. If you have 30 candidates for a job, you will scrutinize the average candidate more than you would if you had two applicants.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:57 PM
2

Probably because they are looking to strike a nerve and this is a fault line in the male ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:51 PM
2

We all understand how the 100M sprint in the olympics work, but most of us can't win one. Something can be simple to understand but you might not have the right genetics to partake.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:43 PM
3

There may not be an intellectual difference between red pill and incel. If you follow the red pill logic that 20% of men sleep with 80% of the women, some men have a realistic path to get into that top row of attractiveness, and some men simply don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:39 PM
3

Red pill / blue pill is just a framework to understand mating. It has little to do with success. Someone with looks and natural charms will likely have dating success regardless of their understanding of the sub-conscious preferences that women respond to. With moderately easy success, they may never need to dive deeper into the psychology and evolutionary biology of dating. Someone without looks and charms will struggle regardless. The typical blue pill advice of 'just be yourself, be nice,, ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 08:31 PM
2

Men still try to climb, but by definition, there's only a few spots at the top of a hierarchy. Women strongly favor those at the top. Not every man has the genetics and trust fund to get near the top. The adaptation taking place is that more and more men will opt out of chasing women who cluster in loose harems around more attractive men. Or will date, but opt out of marriage and commitment more generally because of their clearer awareness of sexual dynamics in our society.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 06:49 PM
1

This is the same for both genders. Ask women if men should have a good job, be fit, make more than X and see what sort of response you get.. Our society treats women as sex objects, and men as success objects. Where you land on your relative axis dictates your general desirability in the dating market. The short answer is that women complying or not complying with societal norms moves the needle very little on how men will treat them. Looks/fertility are the main axis that dictates female desira…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 06:39 PM
0

You need to have a viable option in being alone that you can default to. If you need an external person to support or validate you, you are a dependent, not a partner. Second, women don't have more relationship options than men. There are roughly the same number of healthy available partners willing to commit to a relationship on either side. Quality relationships are in very short supply for both sexes. Women have an easier time finding hookups who don't intend to settle down with them.. but th…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 06:08 PM
1

I think there is a bit of that in the west too, especially for women.. For men no one really cares.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 01:29 AM
1

This is what women often choose when they are free to choose, and have the financial means to stay single until someone checks all their boxes. In many of the countries you listed, women have no choice, and no career options that would allow them to be single until they find what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 01:23 AM
11

Masculinity is a social construct, not a measurable quantifiable metric. Every culture and subculture values different things in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 07:29 PM
1

Most dudes are broke, but I think you also need to consider that women make 85 cents on the dollar in income.. the average woman has roughly 70 cents on the dollar in net worth. Most women are also broke, basically. Not everyone looks down on a regular guy making 50K a year. Half of American women make less than that..
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 11:08 PM
0

I think we are circling around the same dynamic with different perspectives. As you say, men are into hookups more. More supply chasing fewer opportunities. This is the crux of the red pill 80/20 hypothesis, and some of it is grounded in observable behavior. For sure there is a supply imbalance and some conditioning differences that explains the dynamic. That supports things being skewed to approximately 80/20 in bars, clubs and dating sites.
/r/ExRedPill06/04/25 12:44 AM
1

Fair, I don't know how the math actually shakes out. Thankfully I am not in the dating market anymore, but it does seem like most people who are do complain that it's become a nightmare.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/25 10:13 PM
0

Most people who participate in the 80/20 hookup culture don't take a societal view of the dynamic. It's more a basic attraction and gratification, where the chips fall as 80/20 when you aggregate it all.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/25 01:14 PM
3

My personal take is that the 80/20 rule applies to the hookup culture. This is a short term, self gratification mode of dating. It exists with men too - strippers, escorts, shady massage places. Most people will at some point want commitment and monogamy as well. This market follows something more like a standard distribution..
/r/ExRedPill05/04/25 01:11 PM
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