TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

ranger69danger Archive

View 2 posts and 468 comments by ranger69danger on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
13

ranger69danger/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 03:21 AM
4

ranger69danger/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 02:59 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Damn bro. That is rough. So glad mine is approaching a year behind me. You can finish this and go on to other better things faster than it might feel right now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 10:36 PM
1

No, I failed to prepare, went to the stbx and handed her the pen with zero prep. She refused, then a week later drunken bipolar raged assault on me (lol she is like 15” shorter than me.) She called the cops, drug it all out to the bitter end. It pays to make like unfamily ahead of time
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 07:59 PM
7

This. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 12:12 AM
3

You will come to your senses soon. This is the best possible development: you stopped throwing money/time/life at a losing proposition. You can do this. Keep your chin up. Some dudes here wasted lots more of their time than you and they came out of it better, happier, etc. I wasted lotsa time and money on my exwife. But I could not have spent that money or time to get exactly where I am at today, dig. Give it time bro. Chin up.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 05:00 AM
1

Yo dude yes! But it is a symptom not the disease. Tswift is not owned by any one fan. I like her alright, would toss her the D. You might do best if you did not have your ex framing your worldview (and yes at this point a Tswift opinion is almost worldview). You should absolutely lay some pipe on old Taytay if you happen across the chance.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 06:54 PM
3

Dude. Get a lawyer. They are like a halfstep above the morality and work ethic of slime mold but you need them to speak the legalese, to cup the judge’s balls or you are gonna really regret not getting one
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 04:49 PM
9

If no kids, “is staying in the shared home going to put me behind the 8 ball if/when she loses it and physically attacks, calls police, alleges DV/SV/that I instigated, etc?” “Are my guns/pet/valuables/vehicle/existence of an enjoyable life in any jeopardy thru her or her proxies if I stay in the marital home?” (And the corollary “do I stand to lose financially if I leave?”) “Is seeing her - at all - going to make my life worse and would moving out enable me to minimize contact?”
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:05 PM
6

Daaaaaamn. That shit is raw, man. Hit me up if you ever wanna go ride motorbikes or climb a mountain or something. Even just some bouldering. Northern Nm
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 04:11 AM
5

There were many, largely centered on sex frustration in the marriage. Until I had given up and she named my first motorbike my “mistress”. After the second bike she came around and we finalized lol. As to a single failure point where I quit the marriage: I had just come back home (across the mtns and over the hills thru the deserts and down to Death Valley and back again oh my!) from some weeks of fun adventure travel after some weeks of out of state work in an amazing spot (had been avoiding th…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 04:09 AM
2

You should find the right sub and lick his taint
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 03:04 AM
1

Yo, it is way ez and cheap to ride motos…but they will kill you real quick if you are not paying close attention.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 12:34 AM
2

To give our child the highest certainty that her family is ironclad
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 04:53 PM
1

Totally agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 04:51 PM
7

Fuck yes brother. I have value.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 05:39 AM
3

It is an important community. Thank you for sharing of your self
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 03:27 AM
2

Same same. That $270 safe rider course helped me pull the trigger on my first motorbike purchase, the one I had to do to be certain that I needed to divorce. Safe riding!
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 03:25 AM
5

Thank you for your share. Your points on parenting show me that share a similar worldview. The family is the universe. Stay strong out there. You’ve shared with us and we beam you back strength.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 03:23 AM
3

My physiology works, thus the baby. And yes I seek mental health treatment.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 07:12 PM
-6

Aww shucks fellow divorced man I just made a new human and bough6 a r1ng and thrue my savings in the wind on our family home. I moved across the cuntry and away from family and friends to ensure that my daughter has a good life. I am dumber than rocks and I know it. I consent. Edit to add that I never did online dating, recently reconnected with and impregnated my HS sweetheart, the girl I was with on 9/11/01, the person that first saw me nude,as a lover. Point being Hallmark aint got shjt and I…
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 06:05 AM
2

Yep, love, like life, is indeed a timebomb.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 02:45 AM
3

I immediately vacated the shared home when she lost her shit. 10/10 would evac again (I moved across the continental divide twice in the intervening 12 months, also worth it).
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 09:42 PM
2

Yeah, I hate to tell you to seek a four leaf clover but was not sure if you had women like that in your past.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 05:06 PM
2

Yeah I dumped her at 16 because I did not want to pressure her to have intercourse but wanted to shag ASAP. She has shined bright in my sky ever since. I never had to do the webdating thing and for that I am still grateful.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 05:02 PM
2

I avoided dating by selecting for that one most trusted former partner, my HS sweetheart that i was dating on 9/11/01. Thank dog she wanted a family too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 02:52 PM
2

Good, man. Keep spending time every week for just you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 10:37 PM
3

No dude. Spend some money on a real badass hobby. Go skydiving. Avoid the booze. You never have to share space with that person(s) against your will. It sounds like you are doing great for kids. How are you doing for you?
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 02:09 AM
2

Whatever man babydick is hilarious. People that can’t laugh about it…..
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 01:29 AM
1

Bwahahaha prepare for experiential education, grasshopper. You know you are cashdrawer yes?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 04:55 AM
1

Naw just wanted to hit your ouchie-spot. Was already selling the boats and bikes. You feel better about my life now? :-)
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 09:07 PM
3

Thanks for the vote of confidence dickhead. I understand that your dogmas make my life offensive to you. Try not to get too butthurt about it but I think I am gonna buy a boat insteada a ring.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:51 PM
3

Yes, random whores. You know me so well. A home need not be writ in marital law to be a home, son.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 02:30 AM
3

Provide us with some excellent counterexamples then homie. I am the father of a wonderful little baby with my girlfriend. Please help me to understand why it would not be a bad idea for me to wife her….Honestly I need someone with your whimsical optimistic lilt to help me see why I can trust this girlfriend, to see what I stand to gain.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 03:21 PM
9

Yo dude, you need not be surprised. It is in their nature.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 02:42 AM
1

Yeah man I am not an xtian. I just hate the iniquitous ways of those that cheat in people.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 06:28 PM
2

Yeah. Those that propagate sin and immorality are unfortunately afforded the same rights as the….nice guys. You will get past her, she will inevitably drive her shitshow into the mire. You are not them. You are not a cheater. Keep your chin up brother, plenty of us here wear the Nice Guy badge (and got dragged through shit with it just like you).
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 06:07 PM
1

Good luck dude. Lotsa shitbird swindlers out there
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 06:00 PM
4

I quit the house before I filed. You need a place where you never have to see or hear that woman’s evil being again. No help just a vote of hope for righteousness for you brother man.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:19 PM
5

So…don’t marry is the takeaway.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 04:59 PM
1

I would take some time for myself (do whatever you van to energize and center yourself). In that time I would determine personal readiness for divorce. I would contact a lawyer. I would avoid alcohol and “drugs”. I would spend extra monies to eat well and to be sure of proper hydration (whatever that means). I would seek out old and make new friends. I would consider my own role in the death of the thing
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 03:07 AM
1

Bro you are in some bad waters. Take it slow.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 11:30 PM
4

Yup. Felines are like the bitchless bitch of pets.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 11:22 PM
1

I mean you chose to touch that griddle. Not sure how much can be done for you now. It turns out that like we here said it was indeed a very hot griddle.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 11:04 PM
8

I printed and signed the petition for divorce and then handed her the paper and the pen. You are in a situation where you need to consult a lawyer first. Life is too short to live in misery. Don’t do it. See a lawyer, right away. You need to recognize that once you initiate she is going to be your instant mortal enemy….every single thing you do can be turned against you….heck be prepared for her to accuse/initiate spousal violence (I cannot recommend cameras or other recording devices strongly e…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 06:57 PM
3

My mantra for a bit was something queer about: “the Anger poisons only the vessel” on repeat. It is true though. For the betterment of self one must release the injustices of those foul antikarmic beings. To release anger is to crack open and rid one-self of an anachronistic article of servitude. Come for a ride brother. It is better on this side. I promise.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 03:03 AM
4

Go for a rider safety class if you can. I personally try to ride just dirt (not pavement) and it is amazing access to flow activity.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 06:50 PM
2

Oh yeah dude I was diagnosed with PTSD from that 5’nothing greek witch of an exwife attacking me and then calling the cops. Trauma to men in divorce is real. I promise you that if/when you find another person you want to invest your heart in, counseling for yourself and for the partnership is worthwhile.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 06:49 PM
12

Hey man, if you opt out of life you let her (and all those witches the rest of us survived) win. Please do not let her win. Have you been seeking out your old (and I mean anyone in your past) friends? If not you should be. Staying off the booze and stuff? You should be. Eating well? Please treat your body right and get good food, lotsa hydration. This dark moment makes it seem unbearable to consider the future. I understand, totally. Have you considered trying a risky, new-to-you sport or rec pu…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 06:35 PM
1

They are part of any life but the sheer ferocity and frequency of them in divorce is a different beast.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 05:20 PM
2

Ain’t a lick of shame in using therapist +/- meds to get through these turbulent divorce waters. Lotsa weird rogue waves even when it seems calm.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 04:36 PM
1

Where’s the box for had a kid during divorce (no infidelity) and currently unmarried?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 04:28 PM
3

Homie, you are embarking on the journey of liberated self-discovery. There was a brief time and to some extent still, that I noticed the void left by a former family member that turned mortal enemy in a moment (when I asked her to sign petition for divorce)….but we are adaptable, plastic, animals, and the void has shrunk and filled since then. Go find you. That’s what liberation from shitty marriage is about (paraphrasing, for my own life)
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 11:07 PM
3

Still bad as dinc. Can confirm personally
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 04:20 AM
0

No dude. Those things reverse themselves
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:57 AM
2

Keep living. Waste no more time on that woman. In time you will feel wise again lol
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:32 AM
1

Aint nothing better than being done with this quick. Go live your life dude. Don’t sink to meet her at her level
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:01 AM
3

Now is the time homie. What fucking market does your soul or your life exist in? What better time than here, what better time than now, to quit living in misery
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:00 AM
1

Yo dude lose the victimspeak: “marriage made me become a ……”whatever. You became a whatever. I’d further with •commitment kills love [for men]• Props on getting free.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 02:40 AM
2

If you allow her to control your emotions you allow her to win. Let her poison and the evil it creates rest with her brother. Anger only harms the vessel. You are better than her. Let her bad karma be hers.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 11:17 PM
1

Yeah man it was the single mom I dated that helped me to understand that I wanted to reproduce. Losing that kid in the breakup was painful. Real painful. You signed up for heartbreak by loving them. You gave to them. The nature of existence is suffering. You gave of your self so that they suffered less. You did good. Let the pain of their absence be a blessing. You do not have to lose them to life’s cruelty, OD or to trauma. You did good.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:26 PM
3

Yo dude. Keep your pecker in your pants and you will do just great. Think with the cranial head.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:19 PM
3

I had no kids. I left immediately, which ultimately just allowed her to drag it out further. I’d 11/10 move out right away again, given situation. Homie you gotta live with the chance of life that earth gives you, not that wench that you happened to pick. Just my opinion. Women are beautiful mysterious powerful animals.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 02:55 AM
2

You need to call the police. What she did to you is a crime.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 08:52 PM
0

Unintended audience response: I swore off cheating before I got married. My policy upon starting that later-marital relationship was: “If I want to fuck with someone else, I will talk to you about it first.” Same policy in place for me now. But my response, unsolicited, is that yeah: People fucking other people outside of marriage or in response to process/aftermath of divorcing….maybe don’t have the best foundation/framework to embark on a new big emotional/life commitment endeavor. Counterpoin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:03 PM
5

There is no dollar, no belonging, nothing, worth a lick compared to you just getting to be you. Congratulations!! My marriage was short, the divorce long, but I empathize. I’d give 2x the cost if I had to just to be me, as I please.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 08:53 PM
1

No dude. I quit the shared house. It should get better with time. If it does not you have got to do something different.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 03:49 AM
2

I like this answer a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 04:28 PM
1

Sooner you quit the less shit you will go thru to get free. Financial penalties likely imposed by the judge are only going to increase with time. Any financial or other planning you might accomplish will likely be undone if you keep waiting and living this life that you already seem not to want
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 03:14 PM
1

Yeah, similar experience here. I thought I was not long for this world when I got married. Then I figured out my health stuff….and the relationship fizzled. And it was ultimately worthwhile for me to run the gauntlet of divorce to escape the life of misery ahead in that marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 03:11 PM
2

Same.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:08 AM
7

Pull the trigger if you are living in misery is my advice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 02:12 AM
9

It’s telling that there is no question mark here. You know that you deserve to not have your emotions nor your physical self exposed to the poisons of infidelity. We know it too. There are so many women out there that….are not this one that has done you so dirty. If I were you I would contact a lawyer and file for divorce before she does. But maybe that’s just me and my stupid monogamist ways
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 02:37 PM
1

Yes. Ignoring this will be a memorably bad decision. You can do this OP. Contact a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 11:40 PM
2

The strength of your own personal will and your own personal self will grow and grow until instead of simple indifference there is a dazzling blankness, something akin to the zombie’s groan for whatever came before. And you will smile. Stay strong brother. We are here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 11:32 PM
1

Yo brother no one is gonna care besides you and the people that matter. My ex straight assaulted me while I was in a bathrobe and then she called the cops and got herself arrested. No one cared about that so I think you gotta keep your expectations at the bottom of the barrel. There is honor in simply moving on to enjoy your own life best you can.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 10:52 PM
1

This is the right attitude. Despite similar ‘tude for me from the early stages of divorce, I was for sure surprised (painfully so) at the magnifying miscarriages of justice later and finally in the divorce. Keep your head up. Let her anger rest with her. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 08:11 PM
3

You can do this, brother. The one true saving grace in your not being the first man to go through this is that you get the rest of us here rooting for you. Don’t overlook this place as you are sure to get more solid knocks to the knackers in this macabre process If I were you I’d ask for a cop to accompany you back into the home if ever she is permitted there again. And props for sticking it out, achieving your ends. I won too, did not want the house but did not want her to keep it after my pres…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 06:59 AM
2

No reason to live in misery
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 11:31 PM
1

Can confirm. It is definitely my fault for biology assigning my testosterone-poisoned self to be the penetrator. I guess we are just sinners…all men. ;-)
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 12:06 AM
1

Sheesh man. This is real rough. I’d buy you a boozeless bevvy and take you for a dirtbike ride if you were around here. I am not experienced with these particularly shitty waters in which you find yourself. But I can tell you for sure that if she is threatening to go nuclear take her at her word. If she is as crazy as it sounds it should not be terribly difficult to maintain 50/50. But you gotta face it dude. Men are non grata in the courts. I’d have had an attorney yesterday. Remember to take c…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 05:40 AM
1

Depends on what you choose to share with potential landlord. Play it how you see it. If you think it will benefit you one way or the other, go for it. Yes, ref only your income tho. Prepare for some real hard hits. And keep your nose clean for just a bit. Anything that you do that she can use against you will be multiplied by the wrath of a woman scorned and the blind dumb subjustice of the state
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 05:05 AM
3

Wait to take the medication til after the mediation. Show up to mediation skeptical, calm, knowing what you want outta the thing. My mediation was a joke which was cool bc I demanded the freeish garnteed-neutral public mediator. It was mainly bad for me bc I allowed the insane valuation attempts my ex made in mediation to smokeshow me before trial. It’s all just a big clump of waste you have to pass. My GF fed and hydrated and loved on me well prior and after. But I still walked away just feelin…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 04:46 AM
6

“Smart man stick dick in honey hole, walk away poor Poor man stick dick in honey hole, walk away dickless” -Confucius, I think.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:47 AM
1

Someone smart said to me once, when asked more or less why we are here: “maybe the point is that there is no point.” It does not matter if you partner or marry again or not. It’s whatever you choose to make of it. I am divorced, careening towards marriage. I guess I am suggesting that I am similar poisoned by the need for another on their terms. It is ok to have it be just about you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 04:40 PM
2

How bout just not legally marrying?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 05:39 AM
2

Truth. I am no peach to live with sometimes and I know it. :-/ Just started - out of shape at almost 40 - my very first martial arts training. I am happier than ever but will never stop needing to do better. Thanks for the reminder. Good luck out there fellas. Grab life by the short curlies and make each day your very own: do your best, be kind (esp to self!).
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 05:53 PM
1

Seems to me u should be ok
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 06:22 AM
3

Let it go. Focus on you. It’s a blessing in disguise that someone else has already stepped into her particular mudpie.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 03:55 PM
2

Nope. Not trying to pick up other damaged goods as myself fit that sad bill
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 06:42 AM
16

I first heard this when I got here (too late in my divorce). It’s a harsh pill but it is truth (even for me now with my babymama GF, wondering if we can be forever). She was never yours. It was simply your turn. Do keep in mind that there are many fish waiting to give you your turn in this vast ocean. Let her go, brother. She was not for you nor ye for she. You will be better for this. We are here to hear you and try to help you avoid our past mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 07:47 AM
2

No. That’s like asking a shark not to nibble after he smelt the chumline of your net worth in the water.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 06:05 AM
6

Homie, let her do her thing. You know, as does any observer, that you are not the human garbage in this situation.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 05:57 AM
2

Good work Dad. Stay strong for you littles.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 05:46 AM
29

WTF are you doing man? Start thinking with the cranial head.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 05:41 AM
4

Depending on how long she drags this out, you might be looking at more than a couple months til you are liberated. There was a little bit of bookkeeping near to start and end but mostly just fucking waiting for months and months and months for me.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:25 PM
1

Consults are good. IME divorce attys are like picking a pop outta a bag of doodoo flavored lollipops. All three of mine were, how do I put this tactfully, about as useful as a bag full of dicks.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 04:01 PM
11

Hard no. No touchie my savings, my belongings, when/if things go south.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 05:28 PM
2

My divorce was largely centered on my desire to reproduce. My daughter, my GF, my family is worth all the years I had to spend, unhappy, with that bipolar squat legged Greek B.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:05 PM
2

Yeah man, the indignities are many, try to keep your armor up. Avoid alcohol and eat well, seek out new and reconnect with old, friends.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:52 PM
2

Yo brother. It sounds like you have been taking some really hard hits, with more to come. Keep your chin up. You have the attitude to make this work. You can do it, we here support you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 07:15 AM
8

No one in divorce court really cares bout who gave who the clap. You probably fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 10:57 PM
0

These loopholes exist because of the dark power of vast accumulations of wealth. They do not exist in writ, solely the massive inertia of that much capital intimidates the smaller person. This can be overt or implied intimidation and it works well for the Billionaires.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 06:00 PM
1

It’s just a nice little fuckyou from the system for owning a set of testicles and a phallus. What? You expected equity? I mean the cultural norm is to just…cut off our dickskin-tip from the getgo. Why wohld your money be any different, man?
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 04:28 AM
2

Moved out before I filed, but well after she refused to sign.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 08:41 PM
2

For real! I got thru this shit starting Mar 26 2022 and my life is better lots now. Let the feels out. But keep em in control because mine at least were real….intense at this point 17 months ago.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:07 AM
3

Dudeman, you feel afraid for lots of reasons. The first one (to me) is the rational realization that divorce chess is already stacked against you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 02:05 AM
19

Yo dude, I started divorce over a year and a half ago. My life is vastly improved via the divorce. You can do this. Stay away from booze for a bit, seek out old and make new friends, and try to force yourself into some growth activity/recreation. Keep reaching out, asking questions here. I know I made plenty of mistakes I’d hate to see you repeat
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 01:07 AM
2

So fucking what? No one in this (‘specially in this divorce) world truly cares. Hey carpenter, we got you. But sometimes lifting a frame alone can break a man. You gotta know when to step away before you break yourself for someone else’ gain.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 03:08 AM
4

Nope. Used to think I had it good with the ex. Turns out I was way wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 06:50 PM
1

Glad to hear, negative outcomes for any bad events (any kind of infraction or lapse of judgment) are magnified immensely during divorce. Keep trying to work with the supports provided by the Army - my Navy buddy got outta his divorce OK thanks to their strong supports for him. You are going to be misheard and ignored and flatout have to sit through misleading portrayals by your former partner. The best thing you can do is to explain yourself, without losing your temper.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 04:38 PM
1

You’re doing the right thing reaching out to others who’ve been through this before you. Avoid alcohol for now, prioritize taking good care of yourself. The money and belongings she took may get ironed out, maybe not. The critical thing is NOT BEING ALONE WITH HER AGAIN. If she already tried to falsely clip you for adultery, she may well try false DV. Do the early return of dependents paperwork ASAP. Get outside for a hike. Keep asking question. You can get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 04:01 PM
24

I know it was in large part my “fault”. I just reached a point where I could not continue living in such a miserable state, returning to a home I did not want to enter after work.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 03:08 PM
-2

That dude has some real babydick energy
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:02 PM
1

You need to file ASAP and quash this. The longer you let this go on the more the court will accept it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:43 PM
2

I’d call it just deserts. It sucks to dig on schadenfreude but I gotta admit I am curious just how much better I fared overall in my divorce vis a vis that slippery little Greek trollop.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:04 PM
1

Have initial divorce papers been filed?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 01:58 PM
1

So summon the old friends! You are right that the loneliness and lack of concern for men in your position are really daunting. You can do this! If I did it you can too!
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:29 AM
3

Yeah, it’s hard for me to handle even minor conflict with my lady without wondering if I need surveillance cameras to back me up at home. The only reason I am not still locked up is because I took video of my 5’ tall Greek ex refusing to leave me alone before she initiated the attack. The whole thing would be funny if she had not lied.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 06:34 AM
2

Naw man it’s getting late and I am raising my daughter with my HS sweetheart.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 05:10 AM
6

Fuck yea brudda burn that fat, no woman worth your time desires a lardo.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 11:08 PM
19

Wait until the 911 call for the physical altercations that she repeatedly initiated, chasing you thru the house. That’s a fun one. Or how about refusal to sign initial petition for divorce in an adult, mutually-respecting, coherent, fashion. The tropes don’t end. I nearly became a misogynist in my divorce. Thank goodness for the existence of….billions of other potentially decent women.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 09:34 PM
1

Pop 5k at some shitbag divorce atty. Whatever I paid those (3) separate pukes that “represented” me in my divorce, I’d do it twice over to be where I am today. Divorce sucks but when it has to happen, it really has to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 08:56 PM
2

Hey bro, I have been there. You gotta get outside. You gotta avoid booze and really think about what rock THC is really doing for you. I myself adhere to a strict drug regimen to keep the mind limber but in the throes of the darkest days of divorce, just a little bit less reefer was in order for me. It’s good you did not reproduce with her. Giving up 99% of my furniture in my divorce was a blessing. You can do this, real, decent partnerships and a whole world of adventures and ecology and cool s…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 06:56 AM
2

I’d tell her that you’d like for her to go suck an egg in another state. This person, this woman, sees you as a personal cash register. You are indeed a human bean though, right? This is not her call. Do not let her run roughshod over you man. You are a human being. File now. Edit to add: at least your adversary is not the sharpest tack in the box hahaha
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 11:30 PM
11

She assaulted me. I don’t hate her, no room in my vessel for that kind of poisonous anger. Do I think that she is human garbage? Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 03:46 PM
3

Your child deserves a father that is able to set boundaries of steel to protect his family. For me - and YMMV - that woman is no linger family.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 03:10 PM
9

No dude. She will be entitled to it in most jurisdictions. Wait a month.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 03:59 AM
2

Good luck duder, life is a freaking struggle on the normal and then romantic relations just….confuse things. It’s all just like the Buddha implied: attachment begets suffering. I am raising my 2 mo kiddo with my gf and the pendulum swings I experience wrt marriage in the future are just…wild. Something about women, I’m just queer for them, all.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:48 AM
1

Naw dude chalk it up to the price of doing business. Would you pay 3k right now to never have to deal with her again?
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 01:39 AM
6

Yo dude. You will not get raped as bad or as good financially as you might be thinking. Your life, your paternal impact on your children, matters. Lots more than you will ever know. I suffered the severing of a marriage in CO recently. It was real bad with her insanity (no kids thank dog). I paid, bigly, to be free of her negativity in my daily life, to have the freedom to pursue what is most important to me, blah blah. Whatever this costs you financially you 1) are no longer to be subject to he…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 06:22 AM
4

Not sure about following other people’s methodologies. I did pretty damn well just winging it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 09:46 PM
1

I see, you want to treat him like a child. I’d treat him like a man but maybe you are right to assume he needs parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 08:23 PM
0

I’m not the one critiquing advice here dude. I trust men to be humans. I trust them to be human with other humans. Do you?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 07:26 PM
0

So he should just go be an angry incel…?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:29 PM
1

Yep. It’s a big shit sandwich, divorce. But the more bread ($) you’ve got the less shit you’ll likely have to eat. It’s great that you have improved yourself. Remember that she may well be 100% on divorce but lack the gumption to pull the trigger. Take good care of yourself dude, you’re the only you that you have.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 05:28 PM
3

Keep your stuff in a tight line for a bit. You are in some real dire straights right now youngster.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:15 AM
4

+1 the old self lives in memory only. Take the new self where it wants to go, create your new old self
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 03:47 AM
5

No dude, there is still time. I initiated divorce for similar unshared desire to reproduce at 37. My baby girl (by my HS sweetheart) is now 2 months old, smiling and laughing and perfect.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 03:46 AM
10

Bro. Just go dip the wick. Just the tip. Just for a second. I mean fuuck women amirite?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 02:52 AM
6

Because helping others when they need help is good. Because you might see a better way for others to make it through or around the challenges you lived through. Because catharsis and divorce are not really synonymous. The terror and isolation of divorce - particularly, I believe - for men is a special hell. Anything we outside of the situation can offer to help mitigate the suffering is excellent, that’s why you are here. Me too.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 09:16 PM
8

Hey man I asked her to sign a divorce petition when I was 37 and she 34. I am now free of her bipolar bullshit and happily breaking my heart on perfect girlfriends. You can do this but you need to recognize that you are in some dangerous fucking waters for the next bit of time. Godspeed brother.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 07:43 AM
3

Yeah man this is their racket. I went thru three divorce attys and they all sucked azz. Legit sucked azz at their job of protecting my assets and helping me to get efficiently thru the process. Sorry for the bad news. I was there not long ago. Asked her to sign petition for dissolution on 3/26/22 and she drunkenly assaulted me and called 911 on 4/1/22. I did not get the damn thing thru the court until 1/13 of this year. Hope you have hobbies. And some black monies. Take good care dude, there is …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 04:30 AM
7

Hey man, I got divorced last year, lucky Jan 13. This year I greeted my firstborn. The people in your life, the people that are not your shitty exwife, they need the bit of light you can shine their way. The light that only your self can shine into their lives. I promise you that if you can focus on the little things (I personally need fairly risky hobbies/recreation to assist my focus on the little things) you will find greater and deeper shit than the divorce doldrums you find yourself in. Go …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 04:36 AM
2

Oh yeah if you are prepping NOW is the time to quit funding her lifestyle at your expense. Get these things nailed down to the greatest extent prior to filing and it will make the inevitable snafus, miscarriage of justice, distortion and misrepresentation of facts later in the process far more bearable. Good luck to you brother!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:29 PM
1

Take better care of the animal. Get outside, get some endorphins. Drink more water and less booze. Spend extra cash to eat really well. Seek out new, and reach out to old, friends. Try a new hobby or recreational pursuit that is scary/dangerous/foreign to you. Live a little.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:19 PM
2

If I had stopped paying for her health/auto/home insurance during the divorce I would have been held in contempt of court. Talk to your lawyer and read the conditions that you agreed to abide when filing for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:09 PM
1

To the new guys just starting out: talk to your lawyer before doing any of this. Some of this stuff will get you contempt of court charges in many localities.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 08:50 PM
1

Do NOT delete the messages.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 08:37 PM
2

Hey brother, I come from the rough side of the mental tracks too. Let your heart know love. The dark passenger bluffs because he fails to see the blinding light of proper pure unwedded love. Aside from all that, you deserve it. Giving love to your kid is great (just started this parent thing over here) but you deserve some just-for-you-and-an-adult passion.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 02:43 AM
1

The forgiveness juice is a real two-edged blade for men.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 07:45 PM
11

Sunshine + Safe Motorbiking or similar is my Rx. And yeah, most women these days are….modern.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 04:04 AM
3

Wise man say: If the PP goes the mind will follow. Good fuggin luck dude. Other wise man say: if the mind is weak the PP will lead. You know that this type of secret-life behavior is rarely a one-off. Heart/PP interchangeable here. We’re fellers. Honestly, I think you’re still all covered in that damn sticky honey. The love honey just gets errywhere. I think you have slim to nil chances if the situation is as you describe. Get a [secret] vasectomy?
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 03:58 AM
3

You should google a bit about the cenetistas in Barcelona when the Spanish Civil War started. There is a reason the Lincoln Brigade - men like Orwell and Hemingway - fought and sacrificed over there fighting alongside the anarchosyndicalists (yes this is an oxymoron) against the Francoist fascists. The image of the drop-dead gorgeous Catalan woman shirtless and smiling - rifle raised in exaltation - stands in my head stronger than most others. Many cenetistas refused to legally marry their women…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 10:01 PM
5

This is why people keep telling me I am a Libertarian or an Anarchist like it is a bad thing
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 09:19 PM
3

Yep. You made the right choice. Be careful. Have fun!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 05:21 AM
19

It sucks that most lefty candidates are so in the bag of men suck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 12:41 AM
3

My own path lacked the dogmatic “did the self work”. I reconnected with my HS sweetheart bc the online dating world terrifies me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 03:23 PM
6

I too lived in misery for years…and then we got married LoL. I quit the marriage by filing first over a year ago. My life is 100x better today
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:57 PM
8

Holy fuck man. I wish life had not handed you two shit sandwiches like that. At least you got your boys. They love you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:52 PM
9

Damn man. I am terribly sorry to hear this. Give your boys your money and the knowledge to spend it as carefully and wisely as they can at their current maturity level/worldview? At some point it will cease to be so much about your ex. I wish you that peace sooner than later.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:51 PM
6

So make the most of it? Like do crazy fun stuff with your boys with the time you have left, stuff she cannot try to compete with?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:44 PM
25

Given your mortality, the time you won for yourself with your boys is more precious than ever. I applaud your doing the right thing, dad. I am so sorry for your diagnosis, what a brutal turn of events after the war for custody.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 08:41 PM
3

Totally concur about eTOH and ADHD meds as likely contributory causes. It was addition of Rx amfetamin to my exw’s drug intake that made (IMO) her finally lose her shit and drunkenly assault me in a bipolar rage. You need to protect yourself OP. That woman can literally ruin your life instantly with one call to the police. Don’t think it cannot or will not happen to you. The only reason I am not locked up today is because I videorecorded her attack. You are in dangerous waters dude.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 07:23 PM
11

Why would you choose to continue living in misery?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 07:20 PM
4

True dedication would be to swoop her dad and her AP in a tryst. Seriously though, people that cheat are slime. You deserve better OP. The trauma of the images and words and acts will stick with you for some time. The best things to do for me were to engage with the natural earth around me in long dostance river trips and hikes, big adventure moto and dirtbike trips. Take good care of you OP, by avoiding drink and drug, exercising, seeking out old and making new friends, moving forward in your o…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 05:44 PM
15

Goddamn dude. My heart aches for ya. Chin up, you get to spend the time you have to yourself, to yourself. The time you have with him, you get to be the best dad you can be. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 05:49 AM
3

Pragmatic
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 01:18 AM
3

This is next level nihilism, more succinctly snuffing than my casual toss out the window as I left town. I salute you sir.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 01:17 AM
2

Threw that shit out the window on my way outta town lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 01:16 AM
2

I was there battling a wife that wanted me to just, I suppose, give her the house. No, it seems unlikely to me that a judge roundabouts where I got divorced (CO) could compel you to own an asset that you do not want to own. I may well be wrong, but I believe this may be one of the few indignities that you’ll be spared in the coming joyfestival of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 08:16 AM
2

My inflation-adjusted $.31: GTFO. Full stop. When you jump out a plane you don’t do like a half-cocked partial release of your parachute…sure there is a guy flap but the longer you dicker around with this the bittering biggens exponentially every single day. Do not belabor yourself with the mental illness of a person you are actively choosing, every day that you wait, to make your family member. Every animal has some innate self-preservation instinct. Do you?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 05:45 AM
2

I did not read any books or do any formal prep for my D Day(s) but I absolutely rocked the shit outta my divorce (emotionally, personally, motorcycle-wise, etc) and did not get royally fuct in the division of assets. My perspective: you are coming to the full realization of The End of a Thing. Read the Hemingway story, take a motorbike ride to somewhere exciting, drink some whisky while fishing for trout alone in the woods, sack TF up and finish it. Are you gonna keep choking on this apple core …
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 05:38 AM
1

My then-wife was diagnosed with MS and refused to reproduce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 05:50 PM
6

I got to be a dad bc I chose to divorce. 100 worth it
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 09:30 PM
4

You are in danger, serious legal and physical danger, when you are in proximity to that woman. When mine finally got crazy enough in her assaulting me that she called the cops, she went to jail….but so did I even though I behaved 110% honorably, did not defend myself. I am 1’ taller than my exwife, her black Greek eyes and their rage, her diseased mind and her bipolar disorder. I hope you make some moves now….bc shit like this does self resolve favorably. Good luck dude.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 07:25 PM
1

Hey man some of the best experiences of my life have been in divorce or other miserable spots. I’m not telling you to get married, merely highlighting to others the folly of this man.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 06:09 AM
2

Naw man ain’t just infidelity that constitutes betrayal. I was (mildly) jaded before I got betrayed. Which was helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 10:55 PM
-4

No, marriage is not a good deal. Will I do it again? Yes. Sigh.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 09:51 PM
1

Thank you for your opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 05:33 PM
3

You might do well to distance yourself from anything that woman does IMO
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 04:43 PM
1

Nope, chose not to address that elephant in the room as it is unclear to what degree that is still an issue. Thank you for your constructive criticism but I can hire an editor next time.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 04:19 PM
1

Yes I am aware of the distinction. I am pointing out that other mental maladies can be used to “write off” bad behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 09:13 PM
1

I got that he is dry. Continuing to be dry will not hurt things. “Minimize” the booze
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 08:18 PM
4

Uhhh…clinically diagnosed bipolar from age 14…Lithium at age 16….I’m not sure who is doing the diagnosing for other folks but in my case the former wife’s mental illness was documented for at least a decade and a half prior to her mania/drunk/amped on Rx amfetamin (for her recently diagnosed MS) assaults of my person.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:59 PM
13

Dude, I spent years in that zone of “maybe I should just be getting poontang outside the marriage…?” And it sucked. To be so desperate to even consider dipping the wick in strange ink….does not feel so good even for the person considering infidelity. I never did, but I feel your pain. Your stuff will get better. I hope you will think twice about infidelity in the future. For me, quitting the job and the marital home and the town were important first steps to moving forward. For you…I don’t know …
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:54 PM
15

Homie, I ain’t selling you rainbows but I promise minimizing the booze and getting outside to ride dirtbikes or hike into the wilderness will help. Before I got married, I used to just kinda worship endorphins and climbing and trail jogging and hiking Continuing to invest in recreational pursuits will never hurt (until you crash the bike LOL!). I fall into the fortunate first category.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 05:45 AM
8

Yo brother you are not alone. I had some bad shit against me, false accusations of DV, after she assaulted me. It fucking sucks when people abuse the legal system. All I can tell you is that the more I kept focused on the fact that: “anger only harms the vessel”, the more my life got better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 05:37 AM
1

Seems chill. /s
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:02 AM
1

Zero miles. Did not marry mama before making the baby.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:01 AM
2

She can take you for everything if you engage again. You ever heard of vagina dentata. This may be a first documented case. Do. Not. Stick. Your. Dick. BACK. in crazy
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:48 AM
6

Seek out anyone you know that might offer a word of support. Make new friends. For me blabbing semi anon on the web is helpful. Keep working with shrink/therapist and actively look into other practitioners that might be a better fit. Further, I found natural earth immersion, eg big hikes and long distance adventures on motorbikes in remote settings, to be critical for my awareness of the insignificance of my pain, my gripes, my complaints.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 10:16 PM
1

For the unspoken agreement on the spectacularly regular fellatio, she just swallered it on down errytime. The one time I accidentally from quite a distance South of the mouth ejaculated - spurted shall we say - onto her face and eyes, I just kinda knew it was verboten bc it seemed like maybe she had a bad experience with cumspatter in her past. Edit: for the record I plastered the interior walls quite nicely on the reggo as well but…rarely the twain did meet.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 08:58 AM
3

Oh man I bet that is really shitty. It must have sucked to divorce me LMFAO
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 05:12 AM
3

You’re going to experience a lot of people telling you that 5=0, black is white, etc, in the next bit of time. You know up from down. Don’t let them trick you or make you feel bad for it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 03:08 AM
3

Right off the bat I got my guns and important gear for outdoor stuff outta the house. Quit the town and took leave from job, moved across the divide to the desert to be with family. Before the miraculous appearance of a temporary job assignment, I got outdoors. Big solo time in the desert. River trip with a close friend. Rode an inappropriate motorbike for the job on a buncha crazy backcountry routes, climbed a bit. She has changed. You have changed. I recommend thee get outside into the big ope…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 03:06 AM
1

You ever seen that SP episode where the Dads have to kill the Amazon guy? “Did you want that pasteurized?” “No it’s ok I can just rub it on my face.” The point is that I wanted variety and she was obviously less interested in variety.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 02:58 AM
3

Sorry to humblebrag but legit it was annoying. So was her fixation on “natural” sexuality overall. But then occasionally shaving full bald like a fucking juvenile. So was her clogging the toilets and plastering her fallen-out hair on the shower wall and leaving it, her reliable vegan shit-talk when I dared to cook meat inside, the cigarettes and tattoos when insisting on organic produce, the irrational fears in outdoor pursuits, the stony silence when her bipolar social retraction of self defens…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 02:56 AM
2

Swallowed every single time she went down. Variety is the spice of life.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 07:55 PM
2

Seems to me that the mother of your children is trying to play you like a piano. I’d get it in writing that spur of the moment showing up to take the kids is not allowed. Or maybe instead you bait the kids with stuff that they like and get them to leave mom’s place for cool-dad time. You are not a piano. You are not a musical instrument. Don’t let her play you like one.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 03:16 PM
0

Thanks dude! I have this indefatigable desire for the love and company of women and now I get to live with two of them! Pretty stoked, which is odd considering how abused and wronged I felt for simply being male in my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 04:03 AM
1

Yeah I am heading towards marrying again with a prenup this time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 03:06 AM
1

LMFAO here. I kept my motorbikes and whitewater and climbing gear here. In such situations The only thing more problematic than an opposition expert is a spurned woman who thinks she’s one. I chose to fight to keep my boats and sentimental climbing gear and my dear sweet underpowered beatup motorbike, but the degree of distraction the ex cooked up on those things makes me wish I had just somehow Huck Finn’d her into keeping them herself. The judge split her valuation against my FUCKING APPRAISED…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:58 PM
3

So I got divorced 1/13/23 (first time, no kids). My daughter by my gf/domestic partner/oldest friend is almost one month old currently. What do you folks think is my best course of action from here? Prenup? Take the kid and run? Fuck her sister?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:55 PM
3

I dunno dude, watching the way that women - strangers - help each other through birth and pregnancy makes me super acutely attuned to the relative opposite or absence of such among men.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:53 PM
3

This is an excellent question.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:37 PM
1

Quit the marital home. I left right away bc I knew that home would hang like an albatross around my neck. I would think long and hard about whether or not you actually want someone that is so clearly just sponging off of you.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:37 PM
1

Breasticles.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 12:58 AM
2

Liberation from shitty marriage is an important way to lesson the suffering of humankind. Good to share the good news.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 12:57 AM
3

Yeah bro. Sure as this fucking bar smells like Axe there is a limitless supply of other boob-sets [is that derogatory?] out there. Find a new set, OP. Prosper.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:40 PM
4

That P had other D before U and her nasty self is not your problem any longer. I promise you, in genuine honest belief, that there exist many better women, individual women of higher quality/caliber/decency/humanity/fuckability than your ex. She is just one. Do you think your ancestors brought you here to fixate about some B on some other D?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:37 PM
29

Bro. I am real glad you are doing as well as you seem to be. You got assaulted. Her arrest and conviction are important to your getting fair treatment in the divorce division of assets. As a fellow male recipient of domestic partner violence, I’d love to buy you a beverage or take you out for a ride. Either way, I beam you strength, integrity, and grace. Good luck brother. Keep asking questions, keep on the good foot, and this will ultimately get better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 08:55 AM
13

Good luck duder. Your good intentions may surprise or may even impress people. You had best unfuck your head if you think good intentions mean a dang thing to anyone aside from yourself at the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 07:36 PM
1

Damn dude. I am legit sorry to hear about the sleeplessness. I am an advocate of many separate diversions to kill the antisleep impulse. Motorbikes and rock climbing, the clean kiss of a good true woman outside of wedlock, the damn dry badlands and the endorphin-fixes of the athletic. PTSD is real and so especially is male victimhood in heteronormative marriage. I wish I could show you a hike or take you for a ride dude. Stay the course. Someone has to bear witness and try to do good.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 05:24 AM
1

The bottom line is that the laws (read this as including as divorce attys insist are law, the dictates of being a JD [that do not apply to non-JDs outside of their atty-client contract]) are built to enact a JD-only fucking monopoly on dialogue about the case. It’s unethical and a money pump and I want in so I can charge a fair rate for actually working hard to actually minimize the suffering of divorcing males
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:32 PM
2

People care when a mechanic fucks up a car. People pay divorce attorneys to intentionally fuck people’s lives up, and there is no recourse if anyone does or does not actually get fucked up. Swell racket. Like tjtle companies
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:14 PM
1

This is the stuff that may send me to school to be a decent divorce atty
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:09 PM
1

Yeah dude it is funny what we trick ourselves into “liking”. My ex has these floppy big areola breasts that just….gross me out to think about these days. And I am a pretty omnivorous guy in that realm. But the fakeness, the millimeters of makeup, those years telling myself I enjoyed a short busty tattooed Greek woman’s body….ech
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:08 PM
2

No kids with the exwife thank dog. I have since reproduced and I am terrified at the prospect of splitting from the mother of my child.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:05 PM
3

All the better. Let someone else smear themselves in her foulness. Not your problem any more and I am real glad you are aware that giving a single flying fuck about her is….hazardous to your mental and maybe even physical health. Focus on finding your own joy every day and this will be a blip in the rearview twelve months from now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:51 PM
1

I spend a lot more time with my kid….now that I finally got to reproduce. Stoked.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:40 PM
1

Left most all the stuff I could bear to and it ultimately was a great call. I can buy new extension cords. I can’t buy my dignity or my joy.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:36 PM
11

Like a hung Phoenix from the flames, we each rise again. Seriously though, I am so glad I got through it, avoided booze as a crutch, etc, to this side of things. It does get better when you get away from shit wife.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 08:30 PM
3

“Got used to fucking fat girls with my exwife” is probably brass plaqued above the pissoir in this place. LMFAO. Reminds me of the Gene Ween song Lets Get Divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 07:17 PM
2

I avoided online dating when I initiated divorce in 2022. Happily raising my new kiddo with my oldest friend, with whom I rekindled a two decade old romance last year. What my woman tells me about trying to date online in big “cool” city USA makes me glad I don’t have to know for now at least.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 07:12 PM
2

You, I think, are missing my point. The No Fault laws of my state did me wrong in that they refused to consider relative “fault” for the divorce (ie her mental illness and assault of my person)
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 05:34 PM
2

I got assaulted and the state not caring bc she was not convicted kinda chafes a bit
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 05:13 PM
0

I’d say No Fault is a guarantee of No Justice but I’m just some biased penis owner
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 04:49 PM
2

Bro. I had no kids w mine but had false accusations made against me in a similar manner by my exwife after she assaulted me (LOL she is over a foot shorter and…less of a threat). I evac’d immediately and did not return without videorecording and witnesses. Do not be around that woman. Do not go to her home. Exchange in front of neutral witnesses ideally on video. You are in a dangerous spot and it is your responsibility to not give her any of your time to use against you. Use the police exchange…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 04:13 PM
5

No offense or anything but maybe you should not be with someone that feels so extremely anti-porn. And maybe she should not be with someone that…frankly apparently enjoys a bit of porno every now and then. Lotsa folks out there to partner with in this world that see porno as better than ketchup
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 08:46 PM
2

Forged anew in the hellfire of divorce, we are men yet.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:47 PM
1

It’s gonna be different in TX than it was in CO but I would guess that the initial petition is similarly brief, ie: we agree that this marriage is done. I’d tell you to hope for rational behavior in one hand and crap in the other but you have already got enough on your hands as it is. Do not expect rational behavior. I did and I suppose it would have been better to be unsurprised.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:33 PM
3

Went from 3B3B 2000sqft home on a gorgeous Ponderosa strewn mountaintop (too high in altitude for me LoL) to motel-truck to rented room to renting a 5b3b smarthouse with wifi controlled irrigated gardens. My roommates are my new baby and my GF. Looking to buy something when the market cools. My life today is 10000000000x better than it was a year ago. So glad my feeble male mind subconsciously auto-amputated that shit partner and pushed the divorce thru. Lean on family and friends, seek out new …
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:28 PM
1

You have one chance to broach the subject tactfully the first time. I tried to be civil and humane and simply handed her the pen after I signed the petition for divorce. That technique did not work out so well for me LOL. Put serious thought into how to couch/frame the issue, and give yourself the best chance of success in bloodbath avoidance by really carefully buttering her up to be rational and humane in her forwarding the process.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:22 PM
3

It really is true: nice guys finish last. I still am not sure what my exwife’s atty gained by leaving me without Health Ins when I crashed my motorbike. Thank goodness for that chest protector because I was kinda surprised to see that silence from opposition meant I had no healthcare coverage. All of that arose bc exwife had refused to get her own HI policy. Nice guys have better stories and sleep well at night I guess.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 04:29 PM
1

Have done since divorce and will continue to do. My baby born out of wedlock nurses by my side as my GF recovers from labor. Life is good and love is grand.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:40 PM
10

Yep, that static and painfully open, y’know, truthful course is strange. Especially when contrasted against a person that…..used to be family and all of a sudden was making false claims against me. It is weird to see how behaving honorably is sometimes the least rewarding path (hoping this is short and medium term).
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:38 PM
2

The irony of this all is the green beans and radishes and (literal) pounds of strawberries I have harvested from my tiny raised beds this year.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:36 PM
4

People do get weird. But people that have had a divorce….understand that when one needs a divorce, one needs a divorce. I like the manure to fruition analogy a lot. I kept amending and watering and hell, seeding, the marital fields. I’m no master gardener but I do till and plow a field alright, fresh sheep manure compost blended for local conditions, the whole 9. I kept pouring myself into that shitty person, worsening my life to try and better hers….and she was not interested in reproduction (t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:34 PM
1

Good women exist. I wish you luck in separating the chaff from the grain. I lucked out and never had to do online dating. I bet you are gonna have fun, some meaningless shagging, and some exquisitely uninvested lighthearted sweet shenanigans. Go get em buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:52 PM
8

“Divorce is not always a bad thing.” Yessir, that’s why they make it so costly. Because it’s worth it to stop living life down to bring a shit partner up. Ramble on good sir.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 08:47 PM
3

It’s probably for the good of the species that many of us males are adamantly optimistic about the quandary that is woman.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:13 PM
3

My path was different. My one rebound, my oldest friend, bore our first baby two weeks ago. She is beautiful, kind, wants a prenup etc. I’d say have fun but armor that fucking heart man. And make sure you’re not getting burned with STDs etc.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:12 PM
1

Yeah man no matter why I did with attorneys the divorce was a farce at justice in complete ignorance of objective fact. Ie: not the video of her repeatedly assaulting me as I repeatedly flee, none of it mattered to the judge nor seemingly to other folks. No kids involved, thank dog. . Gonna prenup before I do anything else with the mother of my new baby. You are in for a rough run no matter what attorney takes his chunk of cash from your disaster “representing” you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:53 PM
3

Nope just a collection of jades dudes. Which is worth something
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 11:30 PM
6

You’re my guinea pig. LMK?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 07:21 PM
2

You need a lawyer. Follow their advice. Your heart is gonna go through the ringer but I believe you are in an OK spot financially, relative to, say, where I was a year ago. Avoid booze for now. Eat well. Invest in a hobby or recreational pursuit. Seek out the company of old friends and make new ones. It’s a wonderful world out here on the other side of divorce. You’re going to like it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 05:00 PM
1

This is halfway decent advice. Just be sure to get consent LOL
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 03:16 AM
10

Yeah man. You’re doing the hardest things right now. Try to make peace with where you happen to be at in this moment…then you are free to be closing your eyes to fly thru to tomorrow, a day closer to finding someone to hug and be hugged by. Take a deep breath. You are a warrior and you are alone in battle for tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 05:09 AM
2

Def disrespectful but not a great idea for you to hang with them if they treat you this way. Maybe feign a mmf bi kink on your end…that whole two dicks dually reinforcing the patriarchy thing is def a burr under some dykes’ saddle. Heh. I would avoid them like the plague if I were you.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 05:19 AM
2

Bro…each door closing, brings a multitude of new doors to choose from. I had to resign after my ex assaulted me and I moved away - then I wound up getting paid super well to ride dirtbikes, and now I am off on to something completely different. Hang in there dude.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 05:13 AM
1

Dude. Time passes. People change. You get to walk away with the same man that snagged that one woman. I feel for you. Loss of a family member and shit. But goodness sakes if you don’t fail yourself worse for groveling as if her turds might burnish gold
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 07:43 AM
4

Yo dude I can promise you that the CO “justice” experience was an education in misstatement of fact by a funnyman in a black robe. It’s….going to come to an end. Some dudes opt to make things right themselves. What I can tell you is that I am glad that I did not do so when I felt so urgently a need for…objective facts and fairness to matter. At the end of the day if you know you are right and you ultimately get to walk away, it is worth the cost. Don’t let her get the final writeup in the papers…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 06:44 AM
1

Huh?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 01:43 AM
2

Relevant facts: 1 person supported the household. 1 person cheated. The court will likely only care about who earned how much than about who fucked who.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 10:01 PM
1

Lawyer up cowboy. You’re getting fucked no matter how you do this. Get a counselor. Accept that you need people like lawyers and counselors to pump lube when the pain intensifies.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 09:21 PM
9

It’s dishonorable to abandon your boy. Stay with us. I can tell you that proportionally I lost more, monetarily, in my divorce and not one moment have I ever found it not to be money well spent. Don’t let her win by opting out of life. Outlive the bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:51 PM
17

While I was in the pit of divorce, I read somewhere (here?) that 1 in 8 men that experience divorce opt out of life. Don’t let her win like this. Stay here with us! I promise you it gets better. Much much better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 08:38 PM
3

That’s really great to hear. Even when you hit bumps in this path the folks here care about you. Getting physically separated will help - I had the good fortune to have abrupt cutoff and support to enact the physical separation immediately. I honestly don’t think I would be alive today if my old man had not come and taken me and the dogs and the guns outta the home the morning after she assaulted me. Dangerous waters for the next chunk of time, keep a solid sober watchman and try to focus on the…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:39 PM
6

Hey dudebro, I am back after my four hours of rest as a new parent. I am worried that you are drunk or that you feel shame about being drunk. We here in the dudes-surviving-divorce group don’t care. We just want you to survive and to be ok. I never got a chance to tell you about drinking my ex wife’s mezcal while she was off working on a new vaginal culture, taking my last stock of the lovely mountain home I worked so hard to have and make nice. Welcome to the acid trip of divorce. It does end e…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:10 PM
10

Homie, I went through some real, real, similar shit except I was the one forcing the issue. You’re in some real dangerous stuff right now. Please, please, do NOT drive drunk. Lay off the booze. I was legally “with” my lovely, poorly managed bipolar and recent MS diagnosis exwife at this time last year. I am not with her now in any way. Get your shit together. For you. No matter how it goes, Avoid booze Eat well Seek friends and make new ones Try a new hobby or recreational interest. Something sc…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 10:44 AM
6

Yeah brudda I was stuck with a vegan that meat shamed me for cooking even just eggs indoors…In the home that we owned. It cost me lots to start over. I’d pay double any day of the week. My life now has the priceless companionship, the lovely infinitely valuable new baby I had sought, the omnivorous sane sex partner. You can do this. Don’t fixate too much on the burnt shit, you have got a whole new set of pans on their way.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 04:58 AM
4

Lots of this depends upon her ailment. Can you quit for a bit? Can you immediately cut down or eliminate costs for the home/marriage that you are covering (if so, stop paying before filing). Keep your head up. We are here to do what little we can to try to minimize the damage to you in this process.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:43 PM
3

Thanks man. I find a benefit from sharing my experience with others, hope to help keep other dudes down in the hole of divorce alive and in one piece, to help them climb out to see the bright sun out here. Lord knows I feel lucky to have…survived. And I initiated etc We’ll see what I do with this damn romantic soul of mine LOL
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 07:30 AM
1

Yes. Don’t ask me how I know. Weeee!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:40 AM
4

Underrated
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:39 AM
3

Avoid the booze. Eat well. Seek friends and make new ones. Try out a sketchy or exciting or dangerous-ish new hobby. You need to remember that you get to walk away from her with you. Lawyer TF up. Consider how dangerous a period this is for you in relation to all of your lifecourse prior. Stay safe. Good luck dude. Documents and decorum go a long time but folks here seem to advocate a lot for something called Grey Rock. Quit your emotions and thoughts of her to the extent possible. Focus on fami…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:38 AM
3

Hahahaha, yeah it is def still a good place for me. Lotsa dudes out there going thru hell. And not a lotta sleep trying to keep baby and healing gf doing well. I know I will do a prenup if (when) I sign papers of writ mawwiage again with the state.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:29 AM
3

My baby, conceived just after I filed, sleeps beside me. My partner by my side, I’ll see myself out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:58 AM
1

I think this is probably correct, and the percentage of divorcees that exit “trial” or perm orders hearings feeling like justice has been fulfilled is simply miniscule bc…divorce mostly sucks
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:02 PM
2

I did the zero-income route and still got a turd outta the judge just fyi
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 06:39 PM
5

Yeah man those woman things can find the marionette strings on us no matter how hard we de-puppettize. It is good that you see it is disproportionate power. Knowledge is the first step.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:44 AM
2

Yes, there is validity to the expression. There is also validity to simply crying one’s eyes out, to screaming the emotion out. Truth is all around you. Try not to go to extremes and keep breathing. You can do this. You are a man no matter how you happen to be feeling at any moment.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 06:49 PM
2

I am on the other end of things…divorced the shit wife, started a new chapter when my daughter by my new partner was born five days ago. To me this day is crystallized in perfection with the year’s first strawberry from the garden waiting on the table with pancakes and bacon as new mama sleeps in late and baby coos in the gentle spring breeze and the birds chirp. I get to be a father. And I did not reproduce with that B that I was married to last year at this time. Sorry you have that burden of …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 04:50 PM
14

Don’t get the clap, have fun, and remember, keep the feels in check.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 04:36 PM
1

Solid public service. Men in divorce crisis, especially male victims of intimate partner violence, need better access to support and advocacy. Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 03:12 PM
1

Dude. This hits me. My first child was born, out of wedlock, by my oldest and dearest friend, four days, 1hr and 3 mins ago. The connection I feel with that little human of my line is WILD and powerful. I divorced about five months ago. Thank dog we did not have kids in that relationship. I don’t know how you will make it through this but I believe that your love, your children’s love, have the potential power to make it happen. Stay the course. Don’t give up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 10:58 PM
3

Try rock climbing. Chicks love that shit. Whitewater anything My point is to take yourself to completely new realm of engagement with fear. Nothing you’re familiar with. Your head is the problem. You’re stuck on this hamster wheel of HER HER HER US US US and when you get to ME after stepping off the wheel, your wiring is old and it defaults to BACK TO WHEEL. rewire that shit man. I am rooting for you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 08:19 PM
2

Get on a motorbike. It will help.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 07:53 PM
1

Fin. Tutti fin. Completo. Compli
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 07:10 PM
3

So dude. Find a door frame? The advice is mostly the same for just about all the phases I went through: Avoid alcohol Eat really well Do spend time and money on (ideally a new for you) hobby or recreational pursuit. Ideally this will be something that will be kinda scary or exciting (read: a good way to meet or attract new partner or friends/acquaintances) I skipped the door frame. You should too, even in your head. STOP PERSEVERATING
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 07:04 PM
7

Brother she don’t care about you, I’d suppose. What are you gonna do to get her back….? Shut your dick in a door frame? (You make me feel lucky to be past the part of feeling terrible for cutting off a person that had been…family). Time heals all…even flattened kinked penii.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 06:36 PM
2

My former wife told me that she was Capital R raped before we got together. She later clarified that the condom broke during consensual intercourse (no intoxicants etc) and there was an issue of communication (he maybe did not know it broke, she claims he did). Send him to the dungeon.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 05:24 PM
1

Yeah man, in the crisscrossing the country to get away/find new job+housing, etc, I neglected to recognize the direct deposit went to what had been regular shared account. Poof. It’s just money. Heck I’d double it to get away from her LoL
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 07:12 AM
1

I would say for the cosmic balance to be upheld, you need to wrong her because I was wronged. ;-) Good luck making sense with people that are wringing you like some sort of mutant half-man half-cash-till. I really did get shafted out of my 2022 return, filed and taxes paid separately, by my ex. Whatevs, c’est la vie. I’d have happily given double what I gave to be rid of her. 🥳
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:44 PM
1

There were no kids in the marriage, dude. I procreated after divorce and have not remarried.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 05:13 PM
1

Yeah man, your OP is like the ghost of shit-marriage-past for me….except you are in that balance point on the path of life and I am past it. Don’t teeter totter in the wrong direction. Take care of you, you deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 07:25 AM
11

Is making your life a Kafka-esque hell to buoy someone else up worth it? For me the answer was no. Hard no. For me it was about her “past traumas” (pretty embellished from my perspective) but moreso the bipolar depressive disorder and MS. Making my life shit to try and breathe a little more life into the relationship by perpetually prioritizing her preferences/needs/eventual enmity with my family was nonfunctional and almost literally killed me in my coping ways. You’re deluding yourself if you …
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 05:07 AM
1

Hey man, I think you and I had different divorce experiences. How about we just agree to disagree?
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 08:27 PM
1

I’m not sure how you play cards. I don’t negotiate in a game of poker. I dominate.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 06:03 PM
3

Do NOT let her trick you into leaving.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 05:16 PM
1

What verbiage would you prefer for physical proof of behavior? I mean bro we are on the same team here. To me it’s cards, to you it’s horseshoes. Whatevs
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 05:15 PM
9

Why TF would you grant mercy to someone that throttled your marriage by unilaterally choosing people outside of your marriage to fuck? No offense or anything. I will caution you that showing your cards too early can have unpleasant result of allowing adversary to construct (what may be bogus) counterarguments prior to discussion of the issue before a judge. You have some really prime cards. I’d talk to the atty about how to best utilize those cards tactfully and to greatest effect. You can do th…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 12:56 PM
2

I have honestly considered going to law school to serve folks in divorce because my own experience with three - count ‘em, 1, 2, 3 - JDs representing me was dismal at best. I will do some googling and we can see what I pull up. You should run with it if keeping attys out of it is an option IMO
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:09 AM
2

This is a nationwide movement and I know that my divorce alma mater (CO) has more and more folks without JDs assisting others thru the process without divorce attorneys drawing out and complicating and driving up the costs
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 08:49 AM
4

I would start by googling divorce assistance advocacy groups. There is a big movement to cut divorce attys out. IMHE if you can do it without those snakes siphoning off of you, you should. Post what you find?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 08:17 AM
3

Hey man, lotsa us are open minded or daft enough to consider or go through with marrying again. I got my current partner pregnant pretty shortly after I filed for divorce. YOLO, F them B’s….with my D. Love and lust exist for lots of reasons. I like them because they feel good while they last…..and as I write you this I await the hopeful arrival of my first child tomorrow or maybe the next day. Our baby is a girl. She will be raised to understand that it is not OK to hit human beings, unless they…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 05:15 AM
2

Bro. You are asking if you should stick it out with an abusive partner just because the courts don’t care about female on male partner violence? Document. Document. Document. Figure out if your state is one or plural party consent for video recording and get her on camera abusing you. That’s your only shot at even a halfway fair shake in the courts. I too was abused physically by a woman I was married to. I used to have so much shame about not defending myself. It gets better. You can do this br…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 04:06 AM
2

Yes but I would not hold out high hopes. I think in terms of ROE (return on effort) you would do best by gunning for half the marital home’s value. Good luck dude. You will do best by recognizing that you are entering the most dangerous part of any marriage - play stuff safe, avoid booze, keep your nose clean. Any fuckup on your part will be magnified through the gauntlet we call divorce. Keep asking questions here, hell, post observations here….I went through some similar iteration of the crap …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 02:54 AM
2

As your forerunner in this process of divorce I can tell you with certitude that anger damages only its vessel. For me, I was fortunate in finding a new job that put me into daily access to a relatively risky full flow activity. I have since moved on work-wise but my choice to invest in that activity benefits me to this day. I am fortunate that my new partner supports my owning a very expensive 300cc trailbike. All of this is to say that you should invest in and pour yourself, your time, into a …
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:47 AM
3

Bro, let him get her off your hands. This is much in your favor.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 02:21 AM
7

Look at it this way, the marriage is a compatibility stress test. I failed mine too. You are more patient than I am. To be in a relationship some modicum of mutuality in terms of sex and friendship is expected (IMHO). For me I already knew I was there but it took her physically assaulting me a week after I printed and signed the petition for divorce then handed her the pen. You can do this. Many have done it before you. I am not gonna paint some rosy fake picture for you but I can tell you that …
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/23 10:02 PM
1

I spoke with ombudsman, I spoke with the highest supervisor I could reach. Slander is a crime for a reason. Your situation in the private sector and with different employer from ex is much different. Nonetheless, gather some concrete evidence and maybe just have your atty draft a letter of cease and desist. Slander is a crime.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 11:19 PM
1

Get used to being slandered. If it affects employment you may have legal standing but it is best if you can quash it by making clear to 1) her, 2) if necessary her employer, that you will not stand for workplace slander. I had to nip it in the bud when my ex started slandering me. It worked, tho my situation was different in that we worked for same employer at time of her assault on my body.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:53 PM
2

I would go for ring camera. Keep cell charged and handy with a pocket or similar for any unanticipated one v one interactions. I would suggest getting witnesses for any in person interactions. The only reason I am not still locked up for false DV claim is that I knew she was drunk and started recording before she barged into the spare bedroom. You are in some dangerous waters brother. Keep your eyes sharp and stay on your best behavior. Keep reaching out because this is a vexxing and volatile ti…
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 03:24 PM
1

No
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:09 AM
4

Divorce decree 1/13/23. I filed after she assaulted me and then called the cops on me (sigh) <1 week after I asked her to voluntarily sign the petition for divorce (3/26/22). My life is fucking amazing today. My first child is hopefully arriving in the next 8 days or so. My partner is gorgeous and kind and just right. I am currently in a new city and hoping the new job comes thru (my “divorce” job was….beyond cool) I dunno. I feel like I came out better than most do. Or maybe it was just that ba…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 07:21 AM
2

For me I could not specify what parts of the legal process felt like mortal combat near so well as I could tell you that the moments where I had fear for my bodily safety were in line with OP’s essence of emotion.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 03:26 AM
2

I gather that you’ve not lived through divorce as a man. It’s hard for our dumb little male brains to work through the binary switch from family member to competitor for resources, to legal enemy, to physical abuser (no sarcasms). Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 02:29 AM
1

Huh?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:29 PM
3

Totally disagree with dumping Rosie Palms
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:29 PM
3

Yeah I hear you, totally went thru a phase of shock and kinda dumbfounded sensation that she could literally flip a switch and go from simply refusing to sign the petition to divorce - yet a part of my family - to actively physically assaulting me and then calling the cops to assign blame for her row on me. You will find, I hope, like I did, that the duration of shocky pain is not extreme. For me it went away pretty quickly once I settled in to the fact that she stopped being trustworthy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 06:03 AM
27

Get. Off. The. Internet. For like one day, go camping. Do something spontaneous in recreation. Something exciting. Ride a motorbike. Avoid alcohol. Seek out and make new friends.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:40 AM
10

Bro. This is a zero sum game. IMHO.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:20 AM
4

All is fair in love and war. As your attorney I advise you to defecate, or pay someone to defecate, in the upper tank of his toilet. Then give the goriest bits to his family via public announcement. Think billboard. Naw man seriously I don’t know. My buddy never did give the dread Upper Decker to my former foe…that I know of…heh. Seriously good question though. I have found that anger only poisons the vessel. It is best to let as much go as one can tolerably extrude. I’d spill the beans for sure…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 03:38 AM
16

You need to fucking lawyer up and get an STD test like yesterday brother. I wish I could buy you a beer alternative or some shit man. That woman is doing you wrong and you need some basic buddy support in addition to the answer to your very well-posited query. I’d take you out motorbike riding tomorrow if you were in northern NM, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 03:27 AM
1

Underrated divorce tunes (imho): Wheeler Walker Jr.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 03:14 AM
3

Family savings FTMFW. You are doing this right. Quit while you have not been injured by the person that has been violent to you before. And no, the sad feelings do not ever manifest for some of us. Not me at least. I feel relief. I feel joy. My life today is fan-fucking-tastic, even when ignoring the sick fucking home I was stuck in with a mentally ill abusive then-wife thirteen months ago. Thirteen months, 27 hours ago I signed, after printing, on her printer, the petition for divorce and then …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 03:12 AM
3

Inadequate resources exist for male victims of DV. You’re not alone. It sucks that the cops and the state don’t care, etc. You and me and lots of other people lived through it. Please honor me by caring for your self: please don’t return to an abuser. I am pretty glad that my new partner is ready to bring our baby girl into the world. I intend equip my offspring with ability to physically defend herself from abusers. That said, she will know that her first tactic is to recognize and fucking avoi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:56 PM
4

Bro, I was assaulted by my ex too. It sucks to have to live with the fact that I chose not to escalate by physically defending myself. I would sooner drink Drano than entertain an iota of time with that woman that assaulted me. Do not fuck around with people like this, brother. They will burn you, again and again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:51 PM
4

No offense or anything but I think you need some victim support rather than a rebuilding of bonds with the person that you say filed false DV allegations against you. You need help. Not from her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:46 PM
5

Dudes. We here are rooting for you. I have had many analogous sensations in the past year. All I can say is keep on pushing. It does get better. I promise.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:21 PM
2

Such a good post I had to reply twice: Hearty Hell Yes to that! I am proud to be divorced, proud to have broken free of the doomed fate I shared in that failure of a partnership. The ultimate act of self care, to recognize the intractability of that situation and to en vivo construct and enact an escape plan. Proud is the word, good is the life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 08:47 PM
2

Can confirm. My life today is so much better than it was a year ago when I was still trying to get her to sign
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:05 AM
1

Hey man I resemble that remark! (I moved to a new home and got a divorce)
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 09:01 AM
12

It feels pretty good to just be oneself again, can confirm. For me it was almost repetitive, the slap of all those wavelets of freedom against my stormknocked vessel. And then it became perpetual, the liberation from those dead eyes, the lifting away of the invisible barriers to open communication. Carry on good sir and keep thine craft in the good seas.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 08:13 AM
1

The longer I waited after the pleading began on 3/26/22 when I presented her with petition for divorce, signed by me, and a pen, the more her rate of her insane and vindictive decay increased. You are in a dangerous spot right now no matter how this unfolds. You will figure out what needs to be done. You will do it. How you do it will determine to a significant extent how you will find yourself on 4/24/24. Avoid alcohol. Try to spend some extra $ to eat well. Spend some time on a new to you hobb…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 08:03 AM
3

Sir, I have two words for you: poon. tang. No but seriously cheatarounds exist, so many women in this world, etc. I found a cheataround, and also reason one.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:08 AM
7

You can do this man. We believe in you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 09:30 PM
1

This is a worthwhile question that I’d like to see an answer to.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 02:29 AM
4

For me, when moving on to new potential partners it was the first thing I got out into the open.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 05:36 PM
2

Tell her that you made a mistake and are in the process of un-making that mistake. Start with something reallly bad like a penectomy ;-) then when you back it down to divorce it’s NBD?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 05:00 PM
2

Nope. Help him to avoid booze and take good care of himself (nutrition and hobby time especially). Maybe he needs to invest in home recording, dependent of course on the laws of your state (universal vs single party consent for audiovisual recording)
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 07:17 PM
1

Yeah…I had to try to dissolve food in my mouth to try to minimize my chewing noise for a long time. And now I have a normal partner that chews with gusto, understands that eating an apple is not a silent activity. Divorce was worth it, many times over, to get away from my exwife. Part of marriage is just being a good roommate (or not as the case may be).
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 05:55 PM
6

To quote Bill Murray et al in The Dead Don’t Die….”this won’t end well.” You’re spot-on. In my one divorce experience if the partner exhibits even simple concern for major assetts in person prior to lawyering etc….they see you as a cash machine and will use every single opportunity to milk coin out through the entirety of the process. Think of it this way…you made a bad decision marrying them and each dollar you spend getting away from them is well-spent money. You get to walk away with you. Tha…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 05:16 PM
2

Saw that one somewhere but it may as well have been r/mademesmile
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 05:56 PM
3

Heh! You should see the size of my baby girl due next month. And hear how Hallmark ain’t got shit on me because I am going to make an “honest” woman of my dearest oldest friend that I impregnated two months after I filed. Oh the motorbike wrecks and totalled truck and crosscountry romance of it all. Def hypercharged my life and it sped up…no sign of engine failure or catastrophic self immolation yet.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 05:29 PM
7

Document every lie. Each lie you document is like $ into the bank acct. Do not let her win, nor drive you mad. You can do this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 05:26 PM
7

Stop interacting except in writing.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 03:50 PM
4

Buy a motorbike. Stay sober. Ride the fucking wave brother. You have got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 02:28 AM
10

Not gonna happen. But maybe that’s because I am the fairytale chaser. My life is immensely better one year after I moved across the Continental Divide to get away from exwife. Finalized the divorce 1/23 and I am not looking back, ever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:30 PM
1

Zero messy people from now on for me. Including the mother of my child-to-be. The stories I see here about dating after divorce confirm to me that I was right to skip that one coffee date with an internet stranger. To this day I still have not online dated nor been to stripclub. To the grave with it!
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:26 PM
8

Bwahahaha! Yes this is truth. People and especially prospective partners treat you different if you have numbers or zip codes by which to class you. Honestly man I was terrified of this aspect, having found the exwife by the old fashioned ways. I have thus far avoided it….for me the answer came thru lucky stars and the person I was dating twenty years before I left the ex’s insanity and the marital home. Do not have a good answer for you aside from this: find out where the women that interest yo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:43 PM
15

Getting away from her as soon as you can is a good decision. Her bad karma will stay with her. Recognizing and honoring the pain and anger is important. Eventually you will be best served if you can find a way to let that anger go, to release the anger (it only poisons the vessel). Avoiding booze, spending extra $ to treat yourself to high quality delicious healthy food were helpful for me when I was at this stage of divorce. Invest in a new hobby. An exciting one. For me it was motorbikes espec…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 04:51 PM
1

Bro you are not the first nor the last to enter these straits. It is a treacherous time in life, for any person. You are right to ask about the experiences and perspectives others have and have had as it pertains to your situation. Hire a lawyer, like asap. Avoid booze for now. Eat well. Remember that this is just one woman in the world and your incompatibility speaks more of the partnership than of the individuals. Be kind to yourself. Seek out your friends and try to make new ones. Try a new h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 08:18 PM
5

IMHO let it go before shit gets worse with the fights.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 01:33 AM
2

Oh yeah. Don’t tell her shit.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 10:57 PM
2

You are entering the most dangerous part of any marriage. Avoid the booze. Try to eat well (spend some extra bucks to ensure it if you can). Get used to a hurry up and wait life for maybe a year if she chooses to drag this out. Try to keep a more meta view of it if so…I am waiting to get my ex outta the home that I own over a year after I asked her to sign petition for divorce. This is probably in part because I did a natural male thing and face each step of the process full frontal, armor up, r…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 10:56 PM
2

IMHO both UT rural wise and divorce lawyer wise you’re in a bit of a tough situation. I don’t know Weber like I did Emery but you need to be talking to divorced people in that community. Go to a meeting of Men’s AA. Just to meet dudes that got divorced, maybe in that area. I am not a huge fan of divorce attorneys. IME they were bad enough that I am applying for law school
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 06:18 AM
4

Your new-to-the-process honesty reminds me of the way that I was simply responding pellmell to the immediate divorce challenge exactly one year ago. April 1 2022 she assaulted me and called the cops. One year ago today I drove the adventure 300cc motorbike that I bought (my first moto) Aug 2021 thru a gnarly two track 4wd rt 150 mi RT. You are ahead of me in that I found this sub like 6 mo ago. People here seem to be all about a Greyrock method and some book called No Mo Mr Niceguy. You sound li…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:39 AM
11

Best to separate the wheat from the chaff. Be bold and honest, fellows….the truth fucking hurts for people that ain’t been in a shitty divorce before.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 04:25 AM
4

Yess brotha! Can we get a Hip Hip Hooray, thrice! The court’s ear is so fickle and it’s view so myopic and generally misguided. This sounds like a coup d’etat. Go into law for other men behind the 8ball! So I don’t have to, LOL!
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 04:21 AM
8

You’re doing the right things dude. For me it was the increasing challenges with her management of her bipolar depressive disorder, viciously compounded by the addition of Rx amfetamin with her MS diagnosis in late 2020. Lots of similar rejection of my best efforts to be stalwart steadfast bombproof supporter in her MS journey. So I suggested we get a divorce, handed her the pen after signing the papers…she refused to sign and then got drunk and assaulted me a week later. Divorce was messy and s…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 03:22 AM
4

Brother you did not waste those years. You had to make it through those years to get here to where you are not stuck with a jerk for a partner. It’s better on this side and the less you can keep the anger inside of you the better too. Anger damages only the vessel. You are free from what sounds like a shit partner.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 07:31 PM
2

It really helps to find a risky/exciting hobby. Take good care bro
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 07:25 AM
1

Yeah man I just rented my first smart home (divorce finalized 8 days after we moved in) and I kinda don’t loove it already. Neither does the she. Let it go. There is better things for them among us that can let the anger go. The anger only poisons the vessel. In the end I am glad me and my buddy did not drive six hours one way to drop an “upper decker” in any them terlits she used to clog. House will be sold soon I hope. Trust me brother, life gets better and the more you can take the middle roa…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 07:20 AM
1

Zero regrets. No kids…til next month with the one I shoulda married first time round. Back into the fire with me LOL
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:17 AM
2

I started and spent lotsa time on nonmotorized bikes which really helped as did some modicum of mechanical aptitude. Start small and safe - something hard to have hurt you (I started on a little baby 300cc adv streetlegal kawasaki, thumbs upx1000!). I also left the night she assaulted me. Moved in with family on the other side of the Cont Divide and made a new job happen. I reconnected with a woman I dated decades ago when we were 16. I have a special lucky star making this easier but I also qui…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:13 AM
3

Bro I initiated divorce at 37, my life is 10000000xxx better today, at 38. I supercharged my life and it was insane. Is insane. I am a special case overall with some crazy Hallmark loophole, but the fact is that I believe that you can develop yourself further and grow your own hobbies/rec pursuits/interests enough to be the man that uou want to be…during and after divorce. My shit went south for years before I asked for and later filed for divorce. That helped me to keep focused on self and prep…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:01 AM
1

They decide when we fuck. We decide when they marry.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 11:21 PM
1

Bump this post for the hell we have as men wrought in our own lives
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 10:49 PM
1

I think it is pretty clear if there is physical assault that someone is gonna call the cops. I have never seen a situation so bad that the cops cannot make it worse. Why the fuck would anyone stand for being physically assaulted? I left the night she attacked me bodily and never spent a night in that home that I am so close to finally selling.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 06:35 AM
3

Stay strong bro. Keep that recording device charged. It is the only thing that saved me from false DV charges. You are right in the thick of it. Few know just how gnarly this is or will be for you. We here that have some common experiences are rooting for you. Keep your hands to yourself, as it is your only hope. (Not that you need the reminder…I just still have some mental damage from not defending myself in my only real spousal fight or flight situation…. I used to regret not having chosen in …
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 05:53 AM
1

This seems worth your while, to consult a specialist. Don’t walk away, indeed. Your kiddos need you. You need them. Find whimsy where you can. Motorbiking offers incredible access to flowstate for me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 05:07 AM
3

Disclosure: I am not attorney scum although I am considering going to law school to be a decent divorce atty. what I say here in my post-ride endorphin payoff is simply what makes sense to my (well-educated but pissed-off) ptsd-from-a-5’-tall-exwife-“attacking”-me-physically-after-I-asked-for-a-divorce mind. Heh. It seems to me very clear that once premarital items are exchanged for monies and those monies spent on items that enter family/communal use, ie: a home, car, or other trade good, those…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 01:16 AM
2

Words and their specific meanings matter so much in this realm. Thank you for sharing some knowledge.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 11:40 PM
1

I insisted for the public mediator. We paid $300 to waste time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 11:37 PM
1

You are doing a hard thing for your kiddos and you deserve to 1) let her go, for all of your good; 2) take good care of you - avoid the booze; 3) spend some extra money on eating well and exploring a new hobby or rec pursuit (I specifically suggest hopping on a dirtbike or moto). You will be happy again some day. Keep leaning on your buddies! This community of people not (too too)broken by divorce from a woman is here all the time. Lean on us! You can do this brother. I beam you good vibes! You’…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 09:13 PM
1

Hey brother, consider getting STD tested. Keep it low profile but you need to find and retain an attorney IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 02:07 PM
1

I initiated. Due to her assaulting me in a bipolar drunken mania (I am much larger physically, perhaps she was trying to get me to defend myself to the point of self-incrimination…?). The assault came less than a week after I asked politely for her to sign the petition for divorce after I did so in front of her. Here I stand over a year later, waiting to close on the sale of the home, liberated from her sullen dour lifeway. Those soulless black eyes will never make me question if I am safe in my…
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 04:47 AM
6

The law dictates that you are entitled to your share of those family/marital resources because that is reasonable and equitable. Do not let the person that brought a stranger’s germs into your bedroom tell you otherwise. Good luck brother!
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 08:31 PM
8

Bro you got the albatross removed. Ain’t no shame in not being a cheating POS.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:35 AM
3

You have a choice here. Self or daughter. You know exactly what I mean. Option 1 is the more stable. Option 2 the more volatile.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 04:08 AM
2

Mothers have a lot of say. There is only one father. Be the father.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:52 AM
3

Yes, father of son, yes. I saw it with my father’s relation to his bio daughter, my step sister. You are doomed from the get-go as a parent in a failed marriage. You will do you fucking due diligence. You will pay support and show up however you can. Fuck the state. Fuck the police, most especially fuck the judges, and suuuuupperr FUCK the lawyers. You send him a card and a present (pay someone to do it if you cannot) when his birthday and solstices come around. You message him like he is your l…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:51 AM
8

And they wonder why they need such nice metal detectors
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:42 AM
2

You need to file a motion for her prior tax returns to be made evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 03:41 AM
3

Yep, false order attempt against me after a false DV arrest when she assaulted me. I am a full 33cm taller than her, outweigh her significantly and in fact restrained myself when she attacked me. I could have really hurt that woman, but instead practiced good judgment in a fight or flight situation. I was attacked, fled the home that night, and yet the court refuses to consider her abusive conduct. The funny thing is that I am a registered conscientious objector to violence. No one cares though.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 02:04 PM
1

Do not sign until you get the money.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 01:33 PM
1

Yeah, my ex had the bipolar mania (had been diagnosed young, on Li at 16, etc) when she got hammered and assaulted me. Her MS diagnosis a year before gave her license to add amphetamine to her Rx cocktail and she lost her shit a week after I printed and signed petition for divorce. It only took once….I never spent another night in that home after she attacked me. A year later I am starting the family that I always wanted with a woman that is not BPD. My life is immensely better today.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 04:50 PM
5

Bro, I have been there. You will get through this. You will be better. Your life will improve immensely but you have got to be a fucking warrior, a fucking sober monk, to get through this safely in one piece. You are in the most dangerous part of any relationship. Spend some extra money to feed yourself healthy food. Spend some extra money on booze-free hobby or entertainment. See a therapist, fuck a stranger. This is a wild time and you should be able to smile through this because yes, you Take…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 06:50 PM
5

Get it buddy! The grass was fucking bright green for a reason all along! Better women exist, for me. Thank dog I found one. Don’t fuck this up OP
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 12:09 AM
1

Do not move out. Do not step down your quality of life with respect to 1) family time and future family time, 2) the domicile you deserve. Trust me man, no one is giving you a blue ribbon for living in a flophouse or a home that is not fit for you. Treat yourself well in this process. Don’t move out
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 12:00 AM
1

I jumped back into the fryingpan. While I admire your monklike self discipline, I am gluttonous for the pain and the ecstasy. Godspeed brother.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 03:20 AM
3

Formed in this crucible the new self will be better. You can do this. Sack up and take a walk somewhere that makes you feel tiny, somewhere that forces you to see that nature continues indifferent to the struggles of man. Earth abides. Take peace in that and stay the fucking course. We as a group can help you to minimize damage as you navigate this complex maelstrom
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:18 AM
2

If you think the court will care that you are behind the 8ball financially because that is what the court should be considering…you are in for an education on just how wrong you are to own a penis. Good luck brother. Get a lawyer before you do anything else.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 01:55 AM
1

Lou Reed’s divorce album “Ecstasy” has some really good shit for dudes in this space
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 12:15 AM
1

Gene Ween Band “Let’s Get Divorced” is the money. That tuba is perfect! “Sex…..ugh” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=roP5kl63bD0
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 12:12 AM
1

Why in the hell would you sign papers with a woman if you care this much about monay? I wish you well, bro
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 07:55 AM
6

Sepultura, GWAR (caught em live for the first time), lotsa country (Hurt You and E by Matt Mason), Three Loco (Not Coming Home Tonight, Not Worried), lots more It is one of the best times in life for escape and contemplation thru music. Listen loud but drive safe out there boys
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 12:46 AM
2

It’s funny, to come to see that it was indeed just one’s turn with her. F that B! You get to keep you!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:18 AM
1

It only worked for me because I dated the mother of my child-to-be 20+ years ago so I can skip the decade-ish period of trust-growth I’d need with any other woman.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:14 AM
1

That old D will bring you back to drink from the gutter again. Play it safe this time! Source: happily starting a family whilst divorcing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 12:02 AM
2

They, like us, suffer from longterm hormone toxicity and its effects. Disability for sure
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 06:04 PM
3

No. Not wrong. You are simply trying to be an involved parent, from what I can see. Good luck to you brother and remember to inflate the cost of the studio in your financials. Make sure to get some corroborating evidence if you go this route. Your boys will love you no matter what. Keep doing the best you can for them. This will pass eventually and you can be more fully what you choose to be. We are here for you. Stay strong, keep off the booze.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 03:01 AM
2

Do not tell her off. Save it for the judge my brother. I wish you well
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 02:42 AM
7

I second this advice. She has shown her colors and cut the family tie so deeply that whatever strands are left you’d be a fool to trust with your heart, home, money, or anything else. Stay strong OP. Treat yourself well and focus on bettering yourself. A worthwhile woman is out there somewhere, waiting to be wowed and wooed by your super amazing dirtbiking or handcarved sex toys or whatever. You need to invest in your own life and identity….and HAPPINESS!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 06:38 PM
1

Holler at me anytime. It’s weird bc my buddy’s wife has MS and it does not outwardly seem to fuck with their incredibly parenting partnership. Good luck to you and remember that you have folks here that’ve ridden in the same shitty rodeo that want to help you survive it. Don’t be afraid to rely on our knowledge of parallel hell to that which you are experiencing. Best thing you can do is to take good care of you!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 06:35 PM
9

She is old garbage now and he is just the garbage man. You never owned her, it was just your turn. She’s shown her hand and you get to be the honorable parent, the one whose heart was cleft in two and who gives all of what is left to your little one(s). Try a new hobby or recreational pursuit. Spend extra money to eat well. Avoid the booze. Just focus on you and your little one and a truly worthwhile female will come around eventually. I wish you luck brother. I beam you strength to snuff out th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 05:25 PM
1

Nope. Consent takes two brother. You do not want to be sleeping on her old sheets. This is not unreasonable. Put your foot down, IMO. Only an insane person would sign off on such certainty of painful shitty carnival.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 01:54 AM
4

Lawyer up immediately! Do not trust her, do not sleep with her. Record interactions as possible per AL state law
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 09:17 PM
20

Good luck OP. I just today signed contract for sale of marital home. No kids, CO. She has managed to stay in the house that she made unsafe for me for 14 months after she assaulted me on video in a drunken bipolar mania. It took ten months to get the damn divorce finalized. The judge will take her sob story and run with it. Pick a hobby and spend some money on yourself. Spend money to eat well. Avoid the booze. We here are rooting for you. Reach out and use our rough experiences to help you smoo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 08:41 PM
2

I impregnated my current partner less than two months after initiating divorce. I’ve never been happier. And yes, strangely, I am the typically serial monogamist/low body count male.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 04:44 PM
4

You are valuable as just you. You got her in the first place and I guarandamntee you can and will do 10x better than her. Get ahold of yourself, man. You are better than wasting away for some wench that left you. I don’t care who you are or if she was the Siren Goddess Athena, you are better than this. One in 8 men experiencing divorce off themselves. Please stay with us. Please seek friends and community and maybe consider a wild new hobby like motorbiking. I can see you now, cruising with some…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 05:55 AM
36

FREEEEEEDDDDOOOOMMMMMM!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 11:23 PM
1

Wait…did you just say “meow”?!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 08:09 PM
1

Similar position here, just a couple motos into the selfcare splurging. The way I look at it the first bike helped me to drive the wedge that certified the need for divorce. The second one eased the tail end sting (she still won’t sell the damn house).
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 08:07 PM
-1

I do believe that a simple shell game play could help here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 06:05 AM
2

Yessir. I am laughing in agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 11:53 PM
4

Do not leave your home voluntarily. Get your income into your own personal control (separate accounts) immediately before she files. Get as much financially (bills) coming from shared funds rather than directly from your personal monies NOW, before she files.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 06:33 PM
5

Brother, the best is yet to come. Thank you for the share. When I felt my daughter-to-be kick from inside of my new partner…I could not sleep late that night and then it hit me: I forgive my ex-wife. I forgive every person that has ever wronged me. Three cheers to the smallest steps giving momentous liberating revelation and emancipation in the healing journey after divorce. Keep up the good work man. Your kids will thank you ad infinitum, forever.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 12:25 AM
6

No: you should emphatically NOT CARE It often takes longer for dudes to get back into “playing the field [of genitalia]”. Don’t feel too bad about it: would you really trade sleeping in the wetspot to have meaningless sex to help clear this divorce off your mind? I would get a paternity test just to be sure. You will find the right time and way to move on. Cialis or similar can really help fellas get over the first time butterflies with a new partner. You are proofing one sterling truth as appli…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 11:52 PM
1

NC FTMFW
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 11:29 PM
2

Bro you make me happy my ex was a bipolar psycho. This is exceptionally delicate, your situation. Best thing to do is to focus on you. Stay away from booze, splurge a little on better healthy eating, maybe check out a new hobby or recreational pursuit. Hop on a motorcycle? (Full disclosure I bought my first bike to help initiate and certify the need for divorce and I bought my second on the downlow to cushion the shock of the divorce “trial” aka hearing). These tools offer me ready access to ful…
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 11:28 PM
3

Do not let her get you into bed again. Lawyer up. STD and Paternity tests asap
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 07:01 AM
1

It took more than six months for me to get the divorce finalized. You are in for one hell of a ride. Do not make things worse for yourself by continuing to do ANYTHING in her presence.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 10:23 PM
1

Yeah brother I got assaulted almost a year ago by my 1’ shorter bipolar exwife in a drunken rage exacerbated by her MS. She called the cops and had me falsely arrested. No one has listened to me. I am ashamed that I let her attack my person and did not defend myself. I am still trying to get my share of equity out of the marital home. Be prepared to get fucked. Good luck dude.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 10:21 PM
2

Not a terrible idea at all
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 10:03 PM
19

Totally common. Lotsa fellas experience this after (or during) the tumult of divorce See a family practice doc and be honest. They will likely prescribe Cialis and you will be sprung from this situation I avoided lots of this stuff by reconnecting with a former partner from the distant past…. But even then the first time was…off. This is not permanent and a pill will open the mental gate you’re stuck behind for now. Don’t beat yourself up over this!
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 04:41 PM
3

Underrated comment
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 03:34 AM
1

Prepare to be unheard, shortchanged, and generally slapdicked around. Keep your sense of humor because you are now a part of the The Great Divorce Farce. Keep in mind that you are simply a logical foil to the main actors.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 07:11 PM
8

Flapjack Titties (aka Beavertails From Hell aka Pepperoni Nipples)
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 07:06 PM
4

My ex wife changed the locks after I left. She had MS. I wish you the best as you tackle the increased incidence of psychosis and irritability attendant. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 06:52 PM
3

New hobby will help. I think you deserve to spoil yourself a bit for the hell of being alive. Spend some ducats on a new sport/hobby/recreation. Something that gives you flow wherein you are consumed fully by the task or challenge at hand. I bought a motorbike to help prove to myself that she did not care to support my interests. That ultimately and critically helped me to print and sign the papers in front of her. Nevermind that it is almost a year later and the childless divorce is yet ongoing…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 04:27 AM
1

It seems like maybe this OP is not a divorced or divorcing man. There are few courses of action fouler than derelict and especially absentee parenting
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 04:21 AM
3

The judge gave her another sixty (actually 63) days because…judges are real good with equity.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 05:56 PM
4

Ha. No. Still waiting for her to finish up that refi she has been “working on” for the last eleven months. LOL.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 06:51 AM
1

Because I was assaulted by my exwife and did not push for the charge to stick. It fucked up my divorce as I am in a “No Fault” state.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 07:05 PM
3

I printed and signed the papers in front of her and then handed her the pen. She assaulted me and the called the cops a week later. If I had not been recording the assault it would have been me that went to jail that night. Record record record failing the ability to distance distance distance.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 06:32 PM
1

You need to file assault complaint immediately. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 04:28 AM
1

First time is ok to be rough. I happen to be one of those dudes requiring an emotional connection before the sexin’ too. I lucked out reconnecting with a past partner after more than two decades. All I am saying is take it easy on yourself. I have trouble with control dictates from my failed marriage, not to mention hangups about the dead dreams shared with my former woman. Don’t get too hungup on anything aside from doing what feels right. Sex wills be yours and under your control sooner than y…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 07:26 AM
3

Threw that shit out the window on my way outta town. 10/10 would do again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 04:58 AM
2

Buddy. Are you sure you can live there alone?
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 07:26 AM
1

No dude it is half hers. I am so fucking sorry for your situation. You’ve got hard times ahead. Everyone here went or is going through it. Listen to the people on this thread. Most important: stay off the booze and take some fucking stock of your ownself. Edit: I did not read your post fully, am drinking fully of this liquor of post-decree nearer-to-freedom while that B fails to refi once again. Edit 2: whatever it costs me in the end, I’d pay double and feel obliged.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/23 06:54 AM
1

Make more money later when she cannot take it is is the intent.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 07:53 PM
1

Oh. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 04:50 AM
21

Yeah man. I know the feeling. You devalued the most important part in your post: You get to walk away with…you. That is the most important thing. No more of her in your life. No more of you in her life. You can make more money. You cannot make more you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 04:07 AM
1

You should consider shopping around a bit for lawyers. They are generally shite so a bit of sifting will pay dividends. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:20 AM
1

HALF the amount added to it during marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 03:19 AM
5

Brother, I struggled with some shakiness that largely coincided with the worst of my divorce. I was concerned about Parkinson’s, ruled it out. See a doctor. Be honest and disclose the surrounding circumstances fully. It could be something aging induced. You gotta take care of you, please see a doctor.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 02:11 AM
0

Yeah…I mean are you surprised?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 01:57 AM
2

Yeah I used to think we should get a legal handicap for testosterone poisoning or “toxic masculinity” but then I got my (new) lady pregnant and holy smokes there is a balancing for my bad teen high T days in effect right now. She started crying when I jested that I’d domesticate one of the nuisance coyotes around our home. I cannot help being born male. I cannot help society’s sick dictates for men. I wish I could apologize for it to all the people (esp in divorce) that somehow had it out for me…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 04:12 AM
2

Yes. If you are here it may be too late. I know I was late getting here and it co$t me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 03:06 AM
13

Yep. Glad you got here soon enough. I was late to get here but what I see makes me proud to be male, proud of the collective efforts of males to subvert the injustice served to us for fault of dick ownership
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 04:28 AM
7

She wants but she is empty. Her platitudes need not be your problem much longer. Block her. Block her yesterday.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/23 01:56 AM
1

I have used many lenses through which to view the woman(s) that betrayed me. My (only) exwife still slips into the subconscious dreamland (I think she was those ceiling sheet breaking python sneks in my dream last night). The decree was 1/13/23 for me. I feel like I had more memorable excreta than her most of the time but then there she was schlopping down them ceiling sheets in my dream last night. You and me brudda, we done freed excalibur from the stone. Slay dragons, reap benefits. No sneks …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 06:44 AM
1

Do not underestimate the fuckage that a perturbed court can wreak. Ask your kids. Write down what they say. Keep that if the time comes to explain to some person in robes (robes?!) why you moved your family.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 03:13 AM
1

Good work OP. Keep this mindset up. Process it later when you have time. Your former teammate is now Gross Other and you are already armoring. Thumbs up!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 03:10 AM
1

I am so impressed by this community. If I had come here before initiating my divorce (last week of March 2022) things could have gone better for me. As it stands my childless abortus of a marriage is legally over but she sits on the bulk of my assets….until the court decides to recognize that she never could have refi’d to begin with etc. Listen to the sages here about the ways of judges. Judges like evidence (and in CO, hunting). Give the judge evidence. Highlight the pertinent stuff. Listen to…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 03:08 AM
5

I dunno about Rollo but I wish this spam or whatever had made it to me before I was assaulted and then falsely arrested a week after I asked her for a divorce and handed her the pen as my signature dried.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 02:50 AM
3

Bro. Don’t do it. You gotta start putting #1 first. Or not, either way you will come around. Stay strong man. Don’t keep thinking of all that old dead shit you used to share with her. It is about you now, man. If you don’t start acting like it, I’d still buy you a beer to cry in, but I would definitely toldyaso.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 12:29 AM
1

You gotta stop thinking about this “we”. It is you, alone, that you need to consider (and the kidlets of course!).
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 12:14 AM
2

Life lock is not a terrible idea. Keep being dad. Keep them safe to the extent possible. Love will carry you through and past her insanity. She is no longer your family but the kiddos are. I commend you on being a good dad: I am about to become a father on the heels of a divorce (my first). Life is a rollercoaster. Listen to Wet Leg’s Ur Mum. Stay strong brother. Get a good ass lock on what you can, and let her insanity consume her and dudebro mcdickpic
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 04:37 AM
3

I did the humane thing and let her know formally in person: I printed and signed papers in front of her and handed her the pen. It did not work out well for me that way. Still waiting eleven months in for the “refi attempt” that is “very close”.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 07:56 AM
3

Extract as much mutual ground as possible from the experiment. Use it as a way to learn more about your opposition’s wants as well as their tactics as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 03:18 AM
1

Yeah, keep your head screwed on tight. Those in the robes with their gavels have thin skin and big ego. You need to do some research on this person, find a hobby of theirs to play into your story. No joke if I had just told the prick in the robes that it was an elk rifle and that I kill elk he would have identified more with me and likely not have so royally robbed me in the final division. That judge of yours is a clown. They all are, but yours seems really special. Do NOT let him own you by sp…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 10:37 AM
2

Not many other people would still be there. I know I wouldn’t. You need to draw the line somewhere, as you have. Stand your ground on that. We out here in internetville wish you well and beam you strength.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 07:13 AM
1

Are you certain that she actually has cancer?
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:38 AM
1

I immediately left after she assaulted me a week after I printed, signed, and handed her the pen for the divorce papers. Do not leave if you can help it (that is, it sounds like you want to keep the home), for some damn reason I have another 40ish days to wait for some supposed refi attempt that is unlikely to manifest. Consider installing cameras in your home (legal in my state, CO). They do not often take civil proceedings well IME. YMMV my ex was major bipolar and unresolved daddy issues, rec…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 03:46 AM
8

Yeah my ex accused me of assaulting her sexually too. Hope you are not in a no fault state (I believe you are innocent).
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/23 09:32 AM
12

I read, as I divorced, that 1/8 men who have divorced, complete suicide. Strength to you all. Stay strong. Don’t let them win by throwing in the towel.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 04:25 PM
1

Bro. Forget what these other fools are saying: the time to make moves is BEFORE YOU FILE. Make moves. File. Profit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 07:40 PM
1

Make sure you talk to the DA to ensure that the charges stick.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 05:28 PM
2

Bro! Mine as well. RIP to me and that B 2018-1/13/23
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 01:20 AM
1

Backup accommodations saved my….life very probably. In the end money is just money and you really care most about getting to walk away with you and your self (and kidlets of course). I’d secure something close to “home” and not “move out” or “live there full time” unless self preservation demands it (it did for me after I told her I was done trying to salvage it).
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 09:39 PM
1

Backup accommodations saved my….life very probably. In the end money is just money and you really care most about getting to walk away with you and your self (and kidlets of course). I’d secure something close to “home” and not “move out” or “live there full time” unless self preservation demands it (it did for me after I told her I was done trying to salvage it).
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 09:29 PM
5

Dude it is not women. Women are just people people and humans are fallible. My problem is with the way that the state stood by and abetted my ex as she abused and harassed and stole from me. I do not want to be part of this state system any longer and frankly when the revolution comes I will be at the “Justice Center” with party favors first in line
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 11:35 PM
2

Yes! Fixing trauma now, have reconnected with my HS sweetheart, definitely on a better track than ever I was in my five year marriage. My abortus of a marriage finally got euthanized by the state yesterday and I am stoked!
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 01:14 AM
2

100 this. Have lived it. Best way outta shittown I ever coulda found.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 01:41 AM
6

Bro. I was similarly harassed, assaulted, berated, had a scuffle over her phone etc. You need to get out now. You need to make sure that the DA pushes the charges and gets them to stick. The state’s harassment charge against my stbxw did not stick and they dropped it without my knowledge: so now the court does not care that she harassed me bc the charge did not stick. Make sure to get the DA to push forward with charges - call them. Talk to a lawyer ASAP and GET AWAY FROM THAT WOMAN!
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 07:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter