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View 10 posts and 41 comments by rationalvet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

In the US it’s usually a fine and a warning for the first time and then the second most likely jail time. Going through something similar. Luckily sometimes I’m able to get her to be reasonable and not react emotionally, so nothing has been violated yet.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 04:38 PM
2

I fired my first divorce attorney once she was served. They were charging me out the ass for every little thing. Every phone call they’d have two attorneys and a paralegal on the phone, and charge me for all 3 people. They wanted to do all kinds of crazy shit and I just wanted a divorce. Spent 4k in a month. This is going to have a huge impact on your life. Go with someone who is going to actually work for you and get shit done.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 08:48 PM
3

Yes. That’s the blue print for women in divorce. Mine dropped the order of protection case once she got a lawyer and found out how expensive it was going to be. Women do the dumbest shit in divorce especially when kids are involved. Be cordial, record everything, and get a good fucking lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 04:06 AM
7

Because I loved her. Worst mistake I ever made.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 12:57 AM
7

I feel ya. Gonna wait until this is all over and keep working on myself. But it’s gotta be better than the mediocre pussy I was getting in my marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 12:50 AM
22

Yes, it was one thing my dad said when I was talking to him. I hadn't mentioned wanting to hurt myself or anything but he could tell I was going through it, he said "ya know if you killed yourself right now, she'd be happy because she'd win." That changed my perspective immensely.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 11:09 PM
5

Your life isn’t over. It’s just changed now. Not wanting to date is normal for men because good men love for real and we didn’t say I do thinking it would end. Find the good in the little moments. Find a routine that works for you and stick to it. I’m sorry man. About to put one of my two dogs down today actually. It was my grandpas dog that I got when he passed. The universe likes to see how much it can throw at ya I guess. And then I’m going to drink myself to sleep. Tomorrow I’ll wake up good…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 09:32 PM
9

This is nothing but a cop out to be honest. You deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 05:06 PM
8

80k is insane - marriage is a fucking scam. I’m 12k into retainers not even 2 months in. But yes your outcome shows that it was worth it. Congrats on making it to the other side.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 06:35 PM
2

Nah man. I wouldn’t do that until after everything was finalized and I had healed from the breakup. I think bringing another person into the equation before everything is finalized is unfair to them. And if you haven’t healed they will be nothing but a rebound. I was the rebound to my stbxw and it didn’t work out for me. And rarely if ever does. I understand the loneliness in the big house when the kids are gone. But that’s when you heal. Be intentional about your healing because to find a good …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 04:42 PM
5

I would imagine that the issues that were there before, especially if there was resentment are unresolved that they will still be there if you try again.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 12:43 PM
1

Absolutely, the problem is though and why people tell you to start fresh, is that you will never get that debt repaid. You will never get closure, or anything else that you are owed. The anger and hate you feel is a poison that you take and hope the other person dies from. All the while they move on and you can’t.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 12:30 PM
2

Had a friend recommend DMT. I don’t know if I’m in the right headspace at the moment for it. But something like what you mentioned after my nightmare is over sounds promising.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 11:38 PM
1

Me too, as I currently grieve.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 09:40 PM
3

Mine brought me in to just validate her feelings. And make me feel terrible for past transgressions. Which was pretty apparent after a couple of sessions. She apparently had nothing to work on. When her feelings weren’t validated immediately she got meaner. I really liked our therapist and it was giving me a neutral perspective on my feelings and was helping me. But I was the only one working on “us” by that time. Your mileage may vary, but most likely not.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 05:24 PM
3

Yes, but again by the time it gets to this point you will never be able to be what she wants. The goal posts will also move, making it impossible for you to ever get ahead. I wrote this as a guide for understanding what may have happened to a lot of us as well as for people to avoid these situations altogether, by walking away.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 11:47 PM
0

I know it. I was disinvited from her family Christmas. I had no idea the narrative she had been building for so long against me to her friends and family, until it was too late. She wanted to be treated like a queen but the queen does not confide in her chambermaid things she should only be talking to the king about. Turns out she was just an entitled princess.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 05:02 PM
1

Yep, it was extremely hard to finally walk away. And I still wrestle with my decisions. After about the 20th time of her telling me she wanted a divorce - I finally told her to get out. Her wild-eyed expression told me she never thought I would.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 08:08 AM
1

The exact same story here man. It sucks for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 07:53 AM
1

Hope is the downfall. Don’t look at what they say, look at what they do. You’ve said everything you need to say, read it back and if I said that to you and that was my relationship and you could be objective would you tell me to stay?
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:16 AM
4

Should’ve just went and jacked off honestly… you’re not missing out
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:14 AM
5

You can’t see it when you’re in it right? But when you get out you realize their withholding was a form of control for them. Even though it wasn’t that great you still yearned for their affection and they would just give it to you as an obligation rather than something to be cherished. Hang in there. But also file as soon as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:43 PM
6

I spent way too long begging for the love I deserve just to get the most mediocre pussy and occasionally the most terrible blow jobs I’ve ever experienced. To the streets they go.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:32 PM
7

This is common. It’s not that they can’t apologize, they won’t. Because there are no consequences for them. You need to walk away. Not go get an apology, but because you know you never will.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:31 PM
5

Especially if kids are involved. They do the dumbest shit.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 02:23 AM
3

That’s gonna be a no from me dawg. There would be no chance of reconciliation. Just get divorced if you want to sleep with other people. You said your husband got drunk and held a gun to your dad’s head? Nothing to reconcile there either.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:56 PM
7

When I found out what she really thought about me after she left and I still loved her. And that my son would be in two different houses, and I’d miss him terribly when he wasn’t with me. It broke me immediately, and changed me forever. I’ll be a changed man after this is over, but for the better because I am choosing better for myself and my son now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 12:50 AM
15

This is actually hilarious. And I fuck with it. But nah man. We are just starting the process but after everything she has done so far to me to try to get her way since she left, by the end of this she will just be a stranger to me that I have to share my son with. I'll never talk bad about her to my son. I didn't want the divorce but now that I am out of it, I realize that I gave her more than she deserved and got nothing in return for my commitment. No reason to give her more attention.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 04:28 AM
9

I begged over and over. There’s no shame in it. I forgive myself. Her lack of care, emotion, and ability to reassure me made it clear that I was just mourning what was already lost. Be embarrassed, move on. Take care of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 03:22 AM
7

This is very common it seems. They can’t leave a marriage without creating a narrative where they are the victim. Because the truth is way more boring, they were just a shitty spouse. And they won’t tell that story. It would require self reflection and accountability. Like others have said, start protecting yourself now. She will definitely call the police next in order to try to move her narrative forward. File for divorce now, before she does that. It doesn’t matter what she thinks, or what he…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 11:18 AM
3

Hola, como estas, estoy bien. Just pretend all of the diacritics are there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 03:32 AM
4

That’s awesome. I’m in the middle of it still. So a lot of lawyer fees to go. I’ve put more money into my sons 529 college fund but I’m not trying to grow my wealth at the moment because assets will still need to be split and I don’t want to give her more than she deserves and enough more than enough for my son. But after this, yes. Fire is the long term goal. Killin it man.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 03:25 AM
6

Living the dream. Just make sure that you evaluate your values and don’t let someone else into your life that doesn’t elevate you on all levels instead of just worried about what you can give them. Someone that doesn’t shame you for what you want, and strive for. Live it up homie.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 02:26 AM
3

So sick. Getting back into hobbies you once enjoyed is like finding yourself again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 01:53 AM
6

The fucking clutter man. That’s awesome. Happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 01:52 AM
2

All of that time, money, loyalty, love, and devotion you gave to her you can now give to yourself. That's a win. It may not seem like it now because you had your whole life planned out thinking they wanted the same thing, but now you have an amazing opportunity without someone else holding you back. Take a trip, make plans, try new things, go to the gym. Be kind to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 02:00 AM
1

Pretty much the same man. I’m sorry. I know how hard it is.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:28 AM
1

Listening to this audiobook at work right now and, holy crap I could have saved myself a lot of time, money, and heartache. Thought I had things figured out, but put up with more than I should have.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:38 PM
7

It’s all the same story over and over. Jesus.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 01:18 AM
1

This was supposed to be more motivational for people going through the heartache of losing their families. But you’re right—no loving parent makes a choice to spend less time with their child. That’s exactly why it’s baffling that someone could walk away and twist the narrative to play the victim. My Ex has done this in every relationship. I loved, I fought, and I gave everything to keep our family intact, but it was never enough for someone more focused on their image and what they got out of i…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 02:29 AM
7

Don't ignore the red flags over your feelings. If you choose to move forward remember, you're not going to be special compared to their exes you are just next. Don't get married if they only care about their needs/wants and not your own. And honestly, there's no reason to get married. Just makes the end of the relationship that much more difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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