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razo67 Archive

View 4 posts and 36 comments by razo67 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thanks pal!
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 08:57 PM
1

Yea still with a Councillor working through things. Ultimately its because I love & miss my son and want the best for him. I know that on here u read that sometimes u are better apart but as u said u like to think u can hope it would get better esp with the love u have for ur own son. Think I posted to get comments like urs And perspective of others to sense check myself. The hard part really is moving on and not thinking what if I had done more or tried again so that u can forgive urself and li…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 08:43 PM
1

Yea she does hate my mum, who can be hard work but has a good heart. Dont believe it would ever cross that line tbh but her dislike of my mum is one of the reasons I think she doesn't want me bringing my child to my town. She puts alot if the blame at my familys door now as they never reached out much post seperation so thats were the main animosity comes from now really and its hard to shut down once that can of worms opened. Dont think she liked my response to her pretty much saying pick me or…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 03:01 PM
3

Thanks, appreciate the comments
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 10:17 AM
2

Yea I know that's the logically thing to do just sucks for all involved. Also no when I wasnt in her town it felt crap (esp at first) to be that far away from the wee man so I do understand her emotional state when he's further away from her. Doesn't mean she has to control the situation tho. She believes she has more rights as I initated the seperation and left her home town for space (for 2/3 weeks) and then came back to say I didnt want to continue so she moved back in with her parents. I get…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 10:07 AM
2

In the UK. Distance between wifes Town & my city aren't an issue as its same country and even same county. Spoke to lawyer as well who told me there should be no issues with my request. Would prefer to not take it to court but may end up that way if she wont back down. Part of our problem was it was always her way or the highway on big things but I got tired of it so can't allow that to continue
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/21 09:46 AM
1

2 options 1. Move the brother out. Move the parents stuff out. Get her to pay in. Get her to help u looking after her child. Get her to help u around the house. Get her to fuck If u cant do one or she wont agree to those conditions then hello option 2.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/21 11:02 AM
1

It fucking kills man, not just for u but for kids involved too. I dont think ill ever accept the pain ill just learn to deal with it and like all things it will get easier over time.......right now that doesn't make it any better
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/21 01:06 PM
4

I'm 6 months post seperation & like u I still have the feels and some guilt around leaving my wife and young child as I initiated. Like u I felt under pressure and had the alarm bells going off that built up slowly over 3/4 years before getting too much. I've been going through what u have been recently myself and I believe this comes about as I picture the life we could have had, if I had her best self & I see the person I know she could be............however the reality is there is a diff betw…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/21 05:52 PM
2

Just took a few bits and went to parents for a few weeks to take a step back. Decided I didn't see things changing and after another convo I just said I didn't want to stay together. After that the wife went and stayed with her folks and out of the home we had rented
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/21 09:58 AM
8

They always do. I had to actually leave to get her to come to the table. Sitting down to talk several times over 7/8 months didn't have any effect. I had a toddler who was 1.5 in play and could have made excuses for her but I did that going back 4 years or so. She admitted to not being good to me since we got married 3 years ago and taking me for granted. Part of me was thankful for that but the other part decided thats not enough 6 months later I didn't think I'd have the strength to have staye…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 03:49 PM
3

Take a good look at the girl’s mother. Your partner will, invariably, become just like her mother. You will want to believe this isn’t the case for your sweet little thing. You’re wrong. Completely wrong. This is big. Women do slowly become their mother (pretty natural i think as she raised you) or at least take on alot of her traits so pay attention You must lead your marriage; be the alpha. A good woman will follow a great leader, and compliment her man. It may seem easier and more comfortable…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 03:40 PM
2

My way or the high way is not a good life to lead. U will always be the one comprising your happiness. When u take a step back from ur relationship I guarantee its easy to see the times u prioritised making her happy over actually stopping and asking was it what u wanted. All just to keep the peace & have an easy life. U lose urself that way. As for the db if likely only gets worse esp after kids if ur wife won't work on it with u. I always say to have a chat with wife first, see if u can work o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/21 09:31 PM
1

Yea I know that and its been on my mind to respect that. Just hard when u have a happy child not to wish that you could be good for him and get past it even if u no its not for the best! Time heals and all that
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/21 12:10 AM
1

I think its 2 fold really. 1 is just her own insecurities coming out and her putting me down to build herself up/make herself feel better because someone else wasnt doing things as expected. I made my peace with all that as I believe she didn't intend to hurt me it was just her way of dealing with her own hurt. Doesn't mean I need to take it anymore but I also dont need to hold it against her. 2 is the way she was raised, told shes a good looking woman who should be provided for so she lacks sel…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 10:43 PM
1

Ha it does help, maybe not what I'd like to hear but what I need to hear for sure! I know if she put the effort in with my family like I did hers I wouldn't be on here ultimately. Very hard with a happy young child to not want to channel his happiness into the relationship but ultimately when we were together it was miserable at the end and I've heard about my mistakes, blame at my door, the 'outside influences' which brought our downfall & history revisited by her which has put doubts in my min…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 10:01 PM
1

Yea I think subconsciously i thought my wife was in the wrong on alot of things and it was hard to stick up for someone who wouldn't listen to reason and kept pushing back when I asked for calm or some consideration. Always 2 sides tho and its easy to play the blame game so u need to self reflect too. Really think this would be hard to overcome and things need to be on her terms and I already felt like the relationship was one sided so I couldn't let that slide. Yea its sad things went that way …
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 08:35 PM
3

Easy decision there validated by the next poor guy
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 08:14 PM
1

It all actually started because my wife said she didn't really like my brothers gf, just her manner or whatever. My brother is in my wider friend's group and my wife had a group chat running for all our other halves but refused to include his gf in it as she didn't like her but did adding in some friends new gfs not long after. Then there was an awkwardness between them when my brother and his gf found out. My wife then started to say she didn't want to go to my parents for dinner encase they we…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 05:37 PM
1

Yea good questions. Atm its obviously tough, I'm generally a bit calmer and sound of mind now without the stress, walking on eggshells or always being on edge wondering when the next blowup will happen or the next situation I have to negotiate will come from when its not that way on the other side. Obv miss the thought of happy family and the fact my son is so happy when I have him yet we couldn't be happy together. Hateful to see his smile and realise we seperated. Actually annoyed it got as fa…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 04:16 PM
1

Yea that sucks. Like I understand her perspective that she feels we were married with a child and my mum didn't say much after we seperated and other siblings said a bit but she expected more given the circumstances and that hurts her. Like I get that but I also dont think she acknowledges that my family did like her until she started to edge herself away and put distance between them, turned up to things but wasn't really here and says its because they weren't nice to her. Then when I opened up…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 04:09 PM
2

Yea thanks ive been thinking about that. Kinda why I wrote it down so that I could reread it and gauge what I wanted/my levels of stupidity. The only right way for things to ever work would we both of us to put in effort in all aspects of the relationship, esp those we had problem with over the last few years (more than the family stuff thats just a gd example based on our last convo) otherwise it will come round again in a few months or years and be fighting the same battle right? I seperated i…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 12:37 PM
2

Yea thanks for that. I'm honestly just a bit soft and dont stand up for myself enough (been at councilling since seperation and trying to work on that). Feel like I vented to family initially so they heard all the ins and out (not just one sided but probably more weighed in my favour naturally). My brother said to me she is just trying to rewrite history to make herself look and feel better and I kinda see that. She started to be nicer after she was called out on toxic behaviour and now she's be…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 11:40 AM
5

3400 + 2400 = 5800 Over the 2 cheques u should have had 2900 each. U got 2400 and she got 3400. If she gets arsey asked her what happened with your half of the first cheque. And let her know that she technically owes u 500 but ur alrite to let it go. Surely she has to report the 3400 on her finance form as well?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/21 09:56 PM
2

It should stop hurting the second you realise you had a lucky escape. She cheated on you several times and would have continued to do it. U are now free to find a happy and healthy relationship and u have no baggage to take with you. Kept spending time focusing on yourself, stay active, get some hobbies and when u are in a good place u will be ready to meet someone else and have a good life. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/21 11:31 AM
1

Yea 100% there is no answer its just perspective and understanding of different schools of thought that can help process things for me. Thanks for your input
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/21 09:38 AM
2

Yea I think that's true. The old school view that the male will get nagged but just take it and be understanding and to a degree yes that is correct as everyone has their annoying habits and ways they want things done but there is a difference between nagging and being belittled, talked down to, yelled at for little no reason and having things taken out on u as u are the nearest person. U can take that if u can find ways to cope with it but then why should you if you don't actually have to. Tryi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/21 09:37 AM
1

Thanks crazy! Clear case u were better off out of it
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 08:47 PM
3

Yea leave is a standard comment on here but ppl aren't in other ppls lives so that's generally advise with a big pinch of salt. As for me I offered councilling a few times but she didn't want to go. After I initially left she then said she would go, I thought about it for a few weeks as I felt like I shouldn't have had to leave to get that buy in but ultimately said I would go as it could benefit us either way. At that point she said what's the point as u wont change ur mind anyway, my response …
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 07:25 PM
1

What age was ur daughter? Yea see i have been up or down for a few years and we were divorcing before finding out about the pregnancy tbh. I would be belittled and spoken down to at times but tbh I didn't really know any better and just thought ppl take it of its only sometimes and good other times. After being stressed out, having panic attacks before pregnancy, recovering but then feeling the same things growing again I felt, like you, I had to leave for me. Sucks as the wee man is a cracker a…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 04:41 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 05:20 PM
1

Yea i just wasn't sure how it would work so was interssted in perspective. Going 5/6 days in a row and then my ex having our son for a full week would probably suit me better. Gives every 2nd wknd off and doesnt impact childcare just wasnt sure it could work that way
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 05:16 PM
1

Thanks! Do u no if u can do 5/6 days on and 5/6 days off? Or does if have to be 50/50 over a week?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 05:14 PM
1

She wouldnt live in the place we are at now (was a short term rental while we looked at other options) as all her family are in the other town & her friends are spread out. I would have to move to that small town alone if I wanted to be there all the time. Yea i guess 50/50 in terms of wknds about would work and maybe having our son on opposite weeks would be best for us rather than splitting weeks up by having him 3/4 days each given the distance would be better.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 01:06 PM
1

Thanks, yea kinda feels like it could be a 1 time thing for me tbh! It was the right one for me just not sure that feeling was the same the other way about and hence we grew apart. Bit messy and I learned alot about myself in the last few years but u cant change the past
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 01:02 PM
2

Yea of course I want to be in his life. Our situation is more complicated because my wife will move back to her home town which is an hour away. An hour isn't much and won't be a problem initially but im more thinking once school starts etc ill be working and won't be able to be as involved in the likes of school drop offs and pick ups and wouldnt want him pulled from pilar to post during the week so unsure how that would play out with wanting 50/50 custody. If I knew it wouldnt impact him I'd b…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/20 09:40 AM
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