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View 1 post and 454 comments by rbbrks on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
0

Questionrbbrks/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:09 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
-2

Contemplate her position, I urge you. She is as trapped as you are.
/r/MensRights12/02/16 07:59 AM
0

I totally agree that alimony these days can get out of whack, but the title of this post is definitely misleading. Alimony was originally created as a means of ensuring that men didn't financially abandon women after fathering their children; it worked off the notion that many men did not feel as obligated to care for children as women, which is certainly a product of socialized and gendered family roles.
/r/MensRights18/04/15 12:55 AM
-13

maybe be have different definitions of trolling then. I belong here just as much as anyone else, unless you think only people who agree with you belong here?
/r/MensRights25/03/15 01:44 AM
-11

i know a prosecutor dropping a case isn't a crime--they do so all the time, with good reasons like the ones you delineate here. perhaps i didn't phrase my post as i should have. i didn't mean to imply that i thought a prosecutor dropping a case was a crime or that i thought indicting someone for false allegation was likely or possible in our current system. i just meant that most cases of false allegation would necessitate a "not guilty" verdict for someone accused of rape (someone abusing the c…
/r/MensRights25/03/15 01:34 AM
-17

interesting. everything i've read pretty much came to the conclusion that there just wasn't enough evidence to support the accusation--not that there was evidence to support the idea that Jackie intentionally misled the police. that's why the cops came out publicly saying "we can't prove something terrible did not happen." as far as i know, the big issues were that the fraternity didn't register a party for that evening, and thus nobody could prove a party happened that night (shocking--all frat…
/r/MensRights25/03/15 01:19 AM
-17

is it trolling or challenging in a reasonable, albeit argumentative, but ultimately civil way? disagreeing isn't trolling (there's a reason the mods haven't kicked me off this sub, I've been here a while). either way, i'd love to hear your thoughts on my post in case you're in the mood to come up with them!
/r/MensRights25/03/15 01:06 AM
-24

yes, but one loses a case for failing to provide evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that their accusation is true. one is also a "liar" (in any demonstrable sense) if they fail to provide evidence beyond a reasonable doubt that their accusation is true. it's six of one and a half dozen of the other; at the end of the day, anyone who accuses anyone of a crime and can't prove it could be seen as a "liar." doesn't mean the crime didn't happen, just means they can't prove it to the standards our jud…
/r/MensRights25/03/15 12:56 AM
4

yes, because: In each of the three cases reviewed where a man was killed by his intimate partner, the man had been the domestic violence abuser in the relationship and was killed by his domestic violence victim. in other words, the female victim had killed her male abuser, probably in self-defense. interestingly, and to support the idea that the female killers were victims of DV defending themselves with deadly force: All male domestic violence abusers killed by female domestic violence victims …
/r/MensRights25/03/15 12:37 AM
1

Colleges are not prepared to deal with crimes like rape. Many "judicial boards" at colleges are composed of administrators (trained and experts in administering colleges), professors (trained and experts in teaching) and even students (trained and experts in drinking and asking for extensions on papers). Colleges should call the cops when a crime is reported, and if the accused is found guilty of rape (assuming their student decorum guidelines prohibit sexual assault), expel the student.
/r/MensRights25/03/15 12:24 AM
-41

The title of this is pretty misleading. Gillibrand is just saying that rape victims shouldn't face criminal charges for false allegations. This makes a lot of sense because when you get down to the nitty-gritty in our justice system, any "not guilty" verdict of a person accused would lead to the assumption that the allegation was false; we know, however, that because many rape cases are difficult to prove (he said, she said), that many rapists of all genders do in fact get off scot-free. Not onl…
/r/MensRights25/03/15 12:14 AM
-1

If you think people can accidentally rape people then you already have a ridiculous definition of rape. Okay--scenario. And bear with me, I know you've probably heard it before. Boy meets girl, girl meets boy, they are attracted to one another/flirt for a while at a party. Go back to her room, things start getting sexual. Girl is a virgin, doesn't want to tell boy, scared he won't be attracted to her if she's inexperienced. Boy starts taking girl's clothes off, girl gets uncomfortable but doesn'…
/r/MensRights10/03/15 12:16 AM
1

Sorry I forgot that in your mind adding the word "potentially" makes every hateful stereotype go away. It doesn't. For example this isn't any different: ""Yes of course the Jews potentially eat Christian babies" okay, but still-your example targets one group, effectively "othering" Jews. by saying "all people are potential rapists" nobody is "othered," and the reality that rapists are not "others" is acknowledged. "There's nothing wrong with saying all black people are potential shoplifters. Eve…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 09:01 PM
0

Well it's deeply offensive again. You are repeating hate propaganda. It's like going around saying, "Yes of course the Jews eat Christian babies, but then again don't we all?" I don't see the comparison here. Jews don't, in fact, eat Christian babies--but, in fact, almost everyone on earth is physically capable of rape. what are you getting at? Adding on the end, "oh but I say it of all people" doesn't help, because only one minority group is regularly accused of the thing. You are spreading a m…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 08:16 PM
0

Are you just fucking with me now? You are pretending to see nothing offensive with that example either? You turn up here and call yourself a feminist. You are being offensive. no, i just don't think it's a good comparison. using the word "feminist" in a subreddit where the word "feminist" is probably present in every single comment thread isn't so obviously offensive as wearing a Klan uniform to an NAACP meeting. now, i understand that being a feminist on this thread is provocative by nature, so…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 08:04 PM
-2

i just mean that it's ironic to criticize "women" for generalizing men. there's a generalization present in FuckAllSJWs' criticism of generalization--that's noteworthy to me. Secondly since you yourself say all men are potential rapists I myself say that all people are potential rapists--i've said it before and i'll say it again. I have the power to rape, you have the power to rape, we all have the power to rape. I don't think that's extreme, that's a statement of fact. note that i'm not saying …
/r/MensRights09/03/15 07:47 PM
0

Uhuh. But you said the men did something "to offend" which implies intention. no, no, that's the point. offense happens all the time without any intention. we have the endless power to offend, and often we're unable to check ourselves before we offend--all we can do is apologize when we do. That's just bullshit. Again it's a manifesto for narcissists. Do you also say women should be able to say men raped them if they "feel" raped? i mean, okay, but i also phrased that sentence with the genders r…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 07:26 PM
2

why don't they have to hear each other? then what's the point of screaming at all?
/r/MensRights09/03/15 06:54 PM
-1

Because they aren't. sadly, it's not up to the person saying something to determine whether or not it's offensive. i could have been raised in a society where it's completely acceptable to use the N-word, and mean no harm in saying it to a black person, but i still need to take responsibility for the fact that it offends them if it does. So what you are describing is women making up shit to dehumanise men. no, i'm just saying that a woman can be, and deserves to be, offended if a guy intrudes on…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 06:18 PM
2

two people screaming only makes both hard to hear.
/r/MensRights09/03/15 05:53 PM
-1

You should be ashamed to identify with crap like this. i don't! i denounced this author many times during my post. i agree with rational, pragmatic feminism--not extremism. So fucking what? Firstly you make it all about subjective feelings which means the more narcissistic the person the more they "feel harassed". Secondly do you think this is unique to women somehow? Everyone gets hassled. I bet men get it worse than women do too, especially from other men. look, i agree with you. i think peopl…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 05:13 PM
1

that's at least what this one radical, extreme feminist woman believes! not sure if i'd extrapolate to "women" all believing this--then you're just as bad as her saying all men are rapists.
/r/MensRights09/03/15 05:00 PM
-3

definitely don't agree with the radicalism here. but i think the larger feminist viewpoint (that is, what most reasonable feminists would assert, instead of this extremism) is that most women have at some point felt harassed by a man. i'm a feminist, and i won't ever agree with the extrapolation that the "overwhelming majority" of women have been attacked, raped, or assaulted. but i do think that most men, probably unwittingly, have said something or done something to harass a woman at least ben…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 04:37 PM
1

i think the idea is that you're not both drinking two cups of tea, it's that you've made/offered to make someone a cup of tea and then have to deal with how they respond to your offer. the "two people together" thing holds true, because what's being "shared" is the tea--one person offers, one person receives. the shared experience is the act of receiving and drinking the tea someone has taken the time to prepare for you. true, tea can be enjoyed individually, but it's not the same as having some…
/r/MensRights09/03/15 04:26 PM
-5

okay, but consider the medium--the person here is holding a sign, probably at a protest. you kind of have to oversimplify in that scenario. you get the point though--a lot of the stigma of prison for men is the notion of being raped, and a lot of the stigma of walking down the street alone for women is being raped. it's not completely off-base.
/r/MensRights09/03/15 04:14 PM
1

interesting. i guess i don't feel the same, but thanks for replying! i appreciate it. nice to get some honest answers.
/r/MensRights09/03/15 03:33 PM
1

so what's the cut-off for you in terms of an acceptable number of partners? less than 5, more than 10?
/r/MensRights09/03/15 03:23 PM
1

what i mean is, if you were to hear that a person has had many sexual partners in their lifetime, would the gender of that person make a difference to you in terms of if you deem them "disgusting" or not? further, are all people who have had many sexual partners "promiscuous"? if, say, a 45-year-old woman has had 25 sexual partners during her lifetime, but was in a monogamous, long-term (around a year or so) relationship with each, is that still "disgusting" to you?
/r/MensRights09/03/15 12:33 AM
1

do you think the same of men who have a lot of sexual partners? does gender make a difference to you in that sense? it's interesting. thought experiment time: i feel like a lot of why we think having a lot of sexual partners is bad comes down to the fact that we don't live in a sex-positive society--that is, we consider sex something to be private, hidden, and separate from daily life. if we lived in a culture where having a lot of sexual partners was considered the norm, would you still think i…
/r/MensRights08/03/15 11:27 PM
2

interesting. but what, to you, needs to be excused? do you think having a lot of sexual partners is immoral?
/r/MensRights08/03/15 10:10 PM
2

i appreciate that, thank you. i understand OP's perspective--he probably felt very attacked. but that doesn't mean we should lose objectivity.
/r/MensRights08/03/15 09:59 PM
1

agreed. a lot of police procedure is extremely aggressive--i understand why, because it's better to be safe than sorry, but at the end of the day most cop training just bolsters the notion that a cop's life is more valuable than a citizen's.
/r/MensRights08/03/15 09:43 PM
1

engaging in conversation with people i tend to disagree with, but respect fully for their dogged faith in their cause. you? just calling people douchebags? that's cool too.
/r/MensRights08/03/15 09:13 PM
1

They absolutely would not. They would call paramedics, and possibly a social worker who would spend their time explaining to her how she's the victim and she'll be safe if she just tells them where the guy is. see, i disagree. i grew up in a somewhat rough area and have seen tons of women be cuffed and thrown roughly into cars just because they were getting in a cop's face or being rude/uncooperative. i think a cop's demeanor depends a lot on how an individual approaches him/her--if they feel at…
/r/MensRights08/03/15 08:57 PM
1

you don't know how the OP was behaving--you're hearing this from his perspective. he could have been yelling, walking quickly towards the cops (which they see as "threatening"), or visibly agitated. he had a bloody lip, so cops knew he had recently been involved in a violent altercation. seriously, for all they knew, he called the cops to try to get his girlfriend out of the house, proceeded to get into a fight with her and knocked her out/seriously injured her, and then tried to head them off w…
/r/MensRights08/03/15 08:32 PM
1

I don't think it's bullshit. While I'm not a cop, I know people in the armed forces and am friendly with a fair number of my local police officers. from what they say, they're trained pretty intensely to perceive unknown individuals as threats--it's for their "safety." i don't agree with it, because i think often they go too far in protecting their safety (so far that they begin prioritizing the safety of a cop over the safety of a citizen). i grew up in a somewhat rough area and have certainly …
/r/MensRights08/03/15 08:20 PM
2

interesting. i totally understand preference--totally your prerogative to be attracted to who you're attracted to and not others. i was just curious--do you think that if a woman has had a lot of sexual partners, she'd automatically "slitting around?" like would you flat-out reject a woman if you knew she had more than X number of partners, or would you be willing to get to know her situation better?
/r/MensRights08/03/15 08:07 PM
-9

dispatchers are different from cops--the people who answer the phone are in an entirely different place than the people who respond to the call and arrive at the scene. when information is transmitted on dispatcher radio, it's just the essential details: yes, gender of the caller can be one of those details, but it doesn't change how cops behave when they arrive at the scene. to them, everyone is a potential threat. further, you're assuming that everyone who calls the cops is the victim of a cri…
/r/MensRights06/03/15 09:36 PM
-5

yeah, exactly. cops come into a scene without any knowledge of who's who, and while i definitely think they make gendered assumptions in a lot of cases, this particular instance wasn't gender bias. they were just doing what they were supposed to when someone doesn't cooperate.
/r/MensRights06/03/15 09:26 PM
-11

okay, but from the cop's perspective: they get a call that someone needs to be removed from a property. they head to the property. an individual comes outside, with a bloody lip but no serious injuries, and tells them that the person whose removal was requested has "left" and that there's no need for the cops anymore. the cop follows procedure (subduing an unknown individual who has confronted them--at this point they have no idea who you are, if the property is yours, if you're in fact the pers…
/r/MensRights06/03/15 08:06 PM
1

here's the thing though--most of these choices have to do with whether or not the individual wants to have or care for a child. the difference between men and women wanting to have and care for a child is the toll it takes on their body: there's no physical effect to a man when he fathers a child. when a woman mothers a child, be it through experiencing pregnancy, going through birth (and its many, potentially life-threatening complications--even in medically advanced nations) and recovery (remo…
/r/MensRights06/03/15 07:50 PM
1

i agree it's not slut shaming--but purely out of curiosity, why would someone's past sexual history affect your current attraction? (assuming that they have a clean bill of health). Like what about the fact that someone has had a lot of sex makes them less sexually appealing? to me, that's a good thing--I like knowing someone is probably going to have a few tricks up their sleeve.
/r/MensRights06/03/15 07:33 PM
1

We do not know if rapists have discernable behavior becouse every time some one tries to look feminists scream "rape appologist!" that's not why we don't know if rapists have discernible behavior patterns. we don't know if they do because there are a number of scenarios in which rape can happen, all with different perpetrators and different intentions. the "stranger in a dark alley" scenario is vastly different from the "date rape" scenario, which is vastly different from the "drunk husband atta…
/r/MensRights04/03/15 03:05 AM
1

you're simply arguing because he said something accurate. Because he uttered an opinion. I'm not arguing because he gave his opinion. I'm arguing because he gave his opinion in a rude, offensive way, and I don't have a lot of respect for people who resort to insults when arguing. I pointed it out because he followed his rude, offensive descriptions with advice on how to be diplomatic in public forums, and I thought the irony was worth noting for any readers of his advice. Why take advice from so…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 05:09 PM
1

You clearly state that you view all people as potential rapists. That's nuts. I don't understand how that's nuts. Every single person on this earth is capable of rape--that's something important to remember in the discussion about rape. Rape isn't something that only evil, ill-intentioned people can do, it's not something only shadowy figures with malicious thoughts and violent urges are capable of. Rape happens so often because we refuse to accept that we are all powerful enough to rape someone…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 04:47 PM
0

very convenient that once i point out how patronizing and ill-tempered a lot of your fellow MRAs tend to be, and how it's a problem for your movement overall because it stops legitimate discussion/makes MRAs seem insolent, i'm ridiculous, trivial, and need to "grow up." you're like a parody of yourself.
/r/MensRights03/03/15 05:17 AM
1

Which means that the entire concept of "most rapists are within social sphere" is fundementally flawed. by "social sphere" i just mean people who are reasonably accepted in a social setting--that is, they won't arouse any suspicion. i may have only met somebody last week, and to me, they might be a stranger, but their presence at a party i'm attending or at a friend's home may not necessarily be strange to anyone. to use your metaphor, it would be like seeing a neighbor of yours outside at 11pm-…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 05:07 AM
0

Really what your mad about is that I started with pandering to the audience, and to do that I didn't play paddy cakes with Feminism or try to handle women with kid gloves. incorrect. you can make that assumption if you want, but it's wrong. i don't think any of my posts indicate that i think women should be handled with kid gloves or that feminism should be pandered to--if you can find something that implies i do, please respond with a quote. all i've ever said is that your post is ironic. Infla…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 04:57 AM
-2

You might ask him what his point in that phrasing was rather than presuming to mindread him. no, as i said, he actually responded to me. to quote, he said "Loading up on vindictive against someone like Marcotte helps me convince the audience of regular readers or /r/MensRights of my points." he intentionally used inflammatory language, because to him, it's a way of convincing his readers of his points (i happen to disagree with him on that). no mind-reading, don't worry. My point is that calling…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 12:38 AM
1

i'm not really a delusional feminist. you can look through my post history, i agree with the spirit of a lot of MRM points, especially on custody, circumcision, suicide rates/mental health issues, etc.. It's just frustrating to me that simply because I question and challenge points with (yes, feminist) perspective, i'm "delusional." what about my posts is delusional, irrational, off-base, wild? i do what i can to stay civil and rational, though i'm probably not perfect with it--still, a lot of w…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 12:16 AM
1

to me, it's just the insult. he didn't call her a misandrist (which some would argue is an insult anyway, but i don't really think so), he called her a hateful sexist bigot and then compared her to members of the KKK. that goes beyond labeling and enters the realm of name-calling. there's no value in calling her hateful or a bigot; even if 100% of the world agreed with him on that point, it would still have this ring of insolence and disrespect. she could be the biggest sexist in the world, i do…
/r/MensRights03/03/15 12:06 AM
0

do i really need to link to these things to be taken seriously? do a google search if you think i'm making this stuff up. if it makes you feel better, there's an entire book about this topic--read its notes and bibliography if you want some citations. anyway, are you really trying to say that i'm off-base for making the claim that rape is underreported? in your world, is that issue really still up for debate? who has ever argued that all rapes go reported? to answer your question--"how can anybo…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 11:56 PM
0

i understand, i do get it. i know he's not debating about marcotte, i know he's responding to a question on how to properly debate in public forums. what i'm saying is that he's giving advice on how to debate in the same post where he demonstrates really poor debate tactics. and yes, i know, this post isn't part of a debate, so yes, he shouldn't be held to the same standards as he would in a debate. but it's poor form to insult people you disagree with, even when you're not talking directly to t…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 11:45 PM
1

honestly, i'm just getting at the fact that you're giving advice to MRAs on how to debate in public forums without demonstrating diplomacy in your own posts. it's hypocritical. whatever sort of subversion or undermining you think you're playing at in discussion with feminists--it doesn't matter. when you post things that are inflammatory and insulting when you're "amongst friends," it just goes to show that you don't truly adhere to any sort of civil standard. you just play the role in public--a…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 11:31 PM
-2

okay, fine. there's no fact in the absence of data. i'll rephrase: "that being said, rape, according to myriad experts in law enforcement, the justice system, the National Research Council, the US Census Bureau, the CDC's National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey and the FBI, is underreported among all demographics. they, really, really, believe that." as an aside, gravity is still technically a theory! crazy, huh?
/r/MensRights02/03/15 11:15 PM
1

if you'd quote the rest of my post, my point is that while men suffer a particular set of difficulties unique or nearly unique to their gender when it comes to obtaining justice, so do women. there are problems female victims face that are unique or nearly unique to their gender too. in that sense, no gender is "more" shamed, no gender is "more" discouraged from reporting, no gender is "more" scared of retribution from their attacker if they do report. men are shamed, discouraged, and scared for…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 11:05 PM
-2

Google helps: "Hate speech is speech that offends, threatens, or insults groups, based on race, color, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, disability, or other traits." So I'll give you that. OP wasn't insulting the feminist movement, necessarily, or targeting Marcotte for being a woman, necessarily. so "hate speech" was the wrong technical term. that being said, the point of OP's description of Marcotte (as he actually admits elsewhere in this thread) was to be vindictive. he purpose…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 10:53 PM
1

a) i'll disagree with your definition of debate-- debate to me is structured, most often carried out with certain standards of conduct (robert's rules and the like) and demands respect between disagreeing parties. even the quick google definition of "argument" describes it as "typically a heated or angry," while "debate" is to "argue about (a subject), especially in a formal manner." but that's semantics. in terms of audience, i'm with you. i know catering to an audience is important, and that d…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 10:38 PM
-1

i agree with OP's post beyond what he said about Marcotte; he's right to say that MRAs can and should initiate debate in an approachable way and to avoid people who are beyond the point of discussion (like Marcotte.) My point is that it's pretty ironic to encourage civil debate immediately after insulting and comparing an individual one disagrees with to the KKK. OP makes a good point--bring up pressing, important, worthwhile issues in a civil way. but when OP gives that advice and refuses to pr…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 09:38 PM
1

obviously i don't have the number, nobody ever could. but am i wrong in saying that a lot of rapes go unreported? i don't really see your point here. read for my argument, not for semantics. getting caught up in tiny details and pointing them out just prolongs the pointless nonsense we have to wade through before having an actual discussion.
/r/MensRights02/03/15 09:01 PM
1

i understand your point. you think that male rapists and rape victims are treated differently than female rapists and rape victims, especially in the sense that male victims are not given the amount of respect and empathy they deserve. and i agree with you. i'm merely adding to the conversation. i'm saying that while yes, male victims go through a particularly overwhelming set of difficulties in terms of reporting and holding their abuser responsible, it doesn't mean that the problem is gendered…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 08:36 PM
2

in my world all rapists are considered rapists; all people are considered potential rapists. potential murderers too, for that matter, or potential victims. i think the issue of the statistical majority of female-on-male rape going unpunished is a major problem. i'm just trying to show that it's not necessarily gendered; the statistical majority of ALL rape goes unpunished. just because more men get convicted of rape doesn't mean there's something systematically sexist about rape convictions; it…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 07:44 PM
1

I get what you mean but let's face it women rapists have it much easier. Her actions are cheered by many the victims get ridiculed and even blamed. Yes, many female rape victims get the blame as well, however you never hear people say how hot her rapist is and how lucky she was. If I’m wrong, please correct me. you're so correct on these things; I'll never argue with anyone on those points. young boys coerced into sex with older women are treated like miniature adults who got lucky. as for the l…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 07:11 PM
-6

i know who she is, i have read the majority of her report--it certainly has flaws in terms of who is considered a victim and its working definition of rape. that being said, rape is still underreported among all demographics. we know that. rape, as a result of its being underreported, is under-prosecuted. that's just common sense--if people aren't accused of the crime, they won't be prosecuted for it. finally, rape is committed more often by men than by women. mary koss is certainly not the only…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 06:52 PM
1

i don't think i'm wasting my time--to me, debate is only worthwhile with people i disagree with. otherwise it's just an ideological circle jerk.
/r/MensRights02/03/15 06:38 PM
-3

maybe so. but does that make what i said wrong? contemptuously labeling my argument doesn't actually do anything to address its content.
/r/MensRights02/03/15 06:27 PM
-2

it does when only half the people involved believe the spade is a spade. a lot of people might agree with me that, say, George W. Bush is an idiot, but just because people agree with my inflammatory language (even if it's accurate) doesn't make it any less inflammatory. And inflammatory language certainly harms debate.
/r/MensRights02/03/15 06:17 PM
-13

maybe in terms of cases brought to court. but if you think larger: with the number of rapes gone unreported, the number of rapists who do not get arrested even when the crime is reported, and the number of rapists who plead down to little/no jail time--all this with the knowledge that men, statistically speaking, rape more people of any gender than women do--more male rapists probably walk free than women do. (I understand that female-on-male rape is highly underreported/thus under-prosecuted. b…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 06:07 PM
0

why does it matter how long the victim has known the perpetrator? it's not about the depth of the relationship, it's about proximity. the importance of that statistic (inflated or otherwise) is to point out the fact that rapists are not "others," they're people we know. it isn't meant to show that people are perhaps unwise for placing trust in "acquaintances"; it's meant to show that hey, that girl you just met last week? and that guy you've known for a decade? they're far more likely to rape yo…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 05:52 PM
0

a few things wrong with this: a) transgendered men are just as real as any cis man. b)the word "real" here isn't referring to the gender identity of the rapist; it's referring to tangibility. if "real" men don't rape, all the "real" men you know (your friends, your hallmates, your coworkers, your bosses) aren't threats. but in actuality, these "real" men are all threats, because anyone--man, woman, queergendered folks--anyone can rape. insisting that "real" men don't rape just "others" rapists (…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 05:41 PM
-7

i understand that, it's just a curious choice to use bigoted hatespeech when condemning someone for using bigoted hatespeech. GenderNeutralLanguag brings up valid points in the rest of their comment (circumcision, custody rights, etc.) but the importance of those points is overshadowed by loaded terms like "bigot" and "hateful" in the beginning of the post. GenderNeutralLanguag can make the most well thought-out, logically sound argument in the world, but if they choose to preface it with insult…
/r/MensRights02/03/15 05:30 PM
-13

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/9782616/Rapists-and-other-violent-criminals-let-off-with-a-slap-on-the-wrist.html this happens both ways: "In April last year a 25 year-old man walked free from court after admitting he raped a woman when he was drunk." this is an instance of failed justice--not of gendered discrimination.
/r/MensRights02/03/15 05:18 PM
-2

this is seriously messed up--this girl is clearly disturbed. but was this event the result of a systematic pattern of societal discrimination against men?
/r/MensRights02/03/15 05:07 PM
-10

don't argue, debate. Amanda Marcott is a hateful sexist bigot. it's really hard to debate when you use language like that. debate requires diplomacy; practice what you preach.
/r/MensRights02/03/15 04:50 PM
1

fair enough. good talk
/r/MensRights02/12/14 11:39 PM
1

no? but a) they weren't children, unlike this girl, and b) what does that have to do with anything? if a young boy was acting exactly like this girl did, again: i'm pretty sure that video would get a similar response. this isn't about gender, not at all, it's about a teacher abusing a student.
/r/MensRights02/12/14 08:00 PM
1

yeah i'm pretty sure that video would get a similar response if the kid in question were a boy. think about how much shit Mike Rice got for getting physical with his players at Rutgers--and those dudes were like twice his size.
/r/MensRights02/12/14 05:31 PM
0

i don't hate men. i just enjoy engaging people in conversation who i disagree with (i feel like it's an interesting/more engaging way to learn about stuff), and because i disagree with a lot of people on this subreddit i spend time here. me disagreeing with you on particular social issues does not in any way mean i hate you. i'm sorry you've made that assumption.
/r/MensRights02/12/14 04:40 PM
-1

I get it. I guess to me, a lot of these stories seem deeply personal to the writers--and a lot of responses by commenters are similarly personal. People are clearly engaging with these stories more actively than simply sitting on the couch and laughing/pointing as, say, Joffrey turns slowly purple and dies. I saw that scene too, and was totally satisfied and happy with it, but when I see violence happening to real people it just has a different impact on me. It upsets me. I think my issue with a…
/r/PussyPassDenied02/12/14 04:25 AM
-8

i understand, im not trying to say you find joy in the abuse of innocent people. i'm just saying finding joy in the abuse of contextually bad people-- especially when the only reason you have to even think they're "bad" is the functionally anonymous word of a probably pissed-off redditor--makes me less inclined to agree with your larger point. people getting hurt is people getting hurt, no matter what. violence should not be glorified, people should not be patted on the back and told "way to go!…
/r/PussyPassDenied01/12/14 10:07 PM
-24

Seeing some of those women put in their place makes me feel a little better. i was so on board with you until that. nobody should be physically assaulted, and I'm sorry you were assaulted in such a way where you couldn't defend yourself in a socially acceptable way. but this? stories of anonymous women being hurt, just as you were hurt, told from the point of view of individuals who feel just as much anger and shame as you (and are therefore very probably downplaying their own roles in the escal…
/r/PussyPassDenied01/12/14 09:02 PM
1

what's the context for this video? what was happening before he started recording?
/r/MensRights10/11/14 11:23 PM
0

sucks for men who don't like burgers
/r/MensRights10/11/14 09:29 PM
3

it's a gender-specific cultural problem, though, because women don't catcall nearly as often as men do in urban america. further, if they had replicated this experiment in central american and south american countries, i'm fairly confident that they'd get similar results. anecdotal evidence (which i know is flawed, but bear with me) of attractive female friends of mine who have visited Chile and Argentina said that the "machismo" culture was absolutely insane there in terms of catcalling. they c…
/r/MensRights04/11/14 03:46 AM
0

Why does that make it janky evidence? Nobody's insisting that catcalling is equally prevalent in all parts of the country, or even city. Obviously catcalling is going to happen more in certain areas (clearly Harlem is a hotspot)…but it's still happening.
/r/MensRights04/11/14 03:36 AM
0

nope! i think if a man really doesn't want to impregnate a woman, ultimately, he shouldn't have sex, and if a woman really doesn't want to get pregnant, she shouldn't have sex. but i'm realistic about the world we live in, and i realize that despite the fact that there's a lot of people out there that don't want to become parents, they will still have sex. and i realize that there are methods of birth control out there to help people not get pregnant, and if they're all available to everyone at …
/r/MensRights12/10/14 10:25 PM
0

an archaic and unrealistic form of birth control given the fact that our modern society values sex and almost everything about our modern culture encourages people to have sex.
/r/MensRights10/10/14 11:30 PM
0

WHERE?HOW?WHY? Men only have one form of birth control, 2 if you consider vasectomies, and neither of them are guaranteed to be covered, under the law. Even if men really have free access to condoms everyway, its still not a right protected under the law. You sure have a funny way of spinning things. most free health clinics (where most people who don't have jobs and presumably can't afford birth control go to receive medical care) have condoms available upon request. it's a good investment for …
/r/MensRights10/10/14 04:22 AM
1

But vasectomies are not. vasectomies and condoms are just about equally reliable for every man. why do you need a surgical procedure when condoms are free and work for every single man? Then stop having sex with him when he removes it. from a woman's perspective, it's sometimes hard to tell if a man is wearing a condom or not (especially if it's dark and in certain positions, like doggie), and there's a weird subculture of men who think it's okay/funny to remove a condom without his partner's kn…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 10:33 PM
1

They have to pay for it themselves just like men do for birth control. condoms are free in a variety of locations. Because the ACA requires insurances to fully cover things for women (tubal ligation) that they don't require for men (vasectomies). fair enough. but again, because of the nature of female reproductive structure, some women need to get their tubes tied as their only option for birth control. men can go to planned parenthood, grab a handful of free condoms, and be set 99% of the time.…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 10:18 PM
1

for women whose only reliable method of birth control is IUD, they were denied birth control. what are you not getting about that? If you want a type of birth control not covered, you can pay for it yourself. it's not that simple. female birth control methods are generally far more expensive than male methods (condoms are extraordinarily cheap to produce). society gives poor men have free access to 99% reliable birth control; women do not have that luxury. You are saying that right now. i'll rep…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 09:47 PM
1

true. but it's a chemical contraceptive, no? it's something besides a condom that can prevent pregnancy, and is not permanent. as it stands, i don't think there's a male pill in development that is reliable and non-permanent.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 09:37 PM
1

Women working at Hobby Lobby were not denied birth control. for a woman whose body does not respond to hormonal birth control methods, or for whom the side effects of hormonal birth control are too severe to handle, and whose vaginal shape and contours make using female condoms and cervical caps unreliable, creating a need for an IUD--yes, they were denied birth control. female reproductive organs have a lot of moving parts, which is part of why there are so many methods of birth control. what w…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 09:25 PM
0

in one case, not given coverage for every birth control imaginable(just about 95% of them), that men somehow have more reproductive/birth control rights that one case set a precedent, something the supreme court takes pretty seriously. and considering the fact that men have 100% access to exisiting birth control of their choosing (it really isn't hard to find free condoms--seriously, go to a college activities fair and stockpile if you're that angry about paying the 80 cents or whatever it costs…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 09:10 PM
1

it is being brought to market
/r/MensRights09/10/14 08:38 PM
0

Sorry--forcing others to treat you with a superior amount of respect purely due to your gender is not a "right. nobody's asking for a superior amount. When feminists demand the "right" not to suffer violence on the street at night, they are not asking for an actual right--because how would "not being the target of violence" be enforced? nobody's asking for the right to not be the victim of a crime. that doesn't make sense. being the victim of a crime unto itself means someone didn't respect your…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 07:32 PM
-1

the hobby lobby case--look it up. women denied birth control of their choosing because of their employer's (not their own) religious beliefs, which the government upheld. vasectomy is as much "birth control" as hysterectomy is--it's an invasive procedure, and if a woman decides to get a hysterectomy for the purposes of birth control, her health insurance would not cover it (it would be an elective procedure). further, condoms are available for free at any planned parenthood, which the government…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 07:22 PM
1

there is no simply gender-swapped version of this poster out there. i would be fine with a gender-swapped version.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 07:12 PM
-1

here's one--the right to easily obtain any kind of birth control they desire and want to use for themselves. either way, i'm not sure if you know this, but when we talk about rights, people are generally referring to social rights--aka, the way individuals are treated by society. doesn't have to be mandated by the government for a system or society to be biased against a particular gender.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 06:57 PM
0

it's not a punishment of a gender. it uses a well-known colloquialism, "that guy" (referring to someone who does something that's well-known as being "uncool," like spilling beer all over someone at a party), and appropriates it to send a relatable message to young people who understand the meaning of the original term. as a woman, i've been called "that guy" (i've spilled my share of beer) and i understand that the meaning isn't gendered, it's referring to the fact that i did something socially…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 06:45 PM
0

Except you don't need to be in any sort of "situation" to be accused of rape. yeah, you do. you need to be in a situation where consent is unclear. if consent is unclear and you don't want to be accused of rape, get clear consent. You can also find yourself in a situation where someone threatens to accuse you of rape if you refuse to have sex with them. you can also find yourself in a situation where someone threatens to accuse you of rape if you don't play with their pet hamster. anyone can acc…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 06:31 PM
1

In my experience, part of the problem there is that she doesn't say no directly as to avoid hurting him, but he interprets it as "not right now." yeah, that's totally fair. i think more women need to stop worrying about coming off as "mean" in some way by being direct. it's a weird socialization thing, women are taught to always smile and be nice and not offend anyone, but i think it's bull. be direct when you need to be direct.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 03:51 PM
0

i don't think most men would rape a woman when she's passed out. i do think we need to constantly remind everyone to not take advantage of passed out people. i think that because it's better to tell a good person "don't do this" (and have them shake their head and say "of course i won't do that") than to fail to tell a bad person "don't do this" (because perhaps reminding them of the social consequences of behaving badly will dissuade them from doing so). but using "bad" and "good" like i do abo…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 03:40 PM
1

Because 'that guy' isn't going to give a shit about this poster. But it is meant to guilt, shame and intimidate normal men. "that guy" could be you. "that guy" could be me. the focus is not the gender of the perpetrator; it's the act the perpetrator is committing. we're all capable of rape, whether we like it or not. separating yourself from the "rapists" in the world ignores the fact that rape can happen without anyone thinking "i'm raping this person." this poster is meant to educate people on…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 03:16 PM
1

i mean, i don't think nice guys are assholes. i think guys who get angry at women for refusing their romantic advances are assholes. i think most guys in the friendzone situation aren't angry about it, they're disappointed. so they're not assholes. it's the ones who let their disappointment turn into anger at the woman in question (and perhaps rant to friends about how she's a "bitch" or something) that are assholes.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 03:02 PM
-1

the various feminists who have asserted all PIV sex is rape have made several billion false accusations each. i guess that's true. but those accusations would never even be humored by a court of law. i can say someone looking at me without permission is rape, but that doesn't mean anything. Gosh. What sort of experience would lead someone to doubt an accusation of rape? societal pressures, victim blaming, people asserting that women who get drunk at parties should protect themselves more, people…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 02:50 PM
-1

how many men actually even come across a passed out girl, let alone decide to rape her? enough men that people feel the need to make posters about it. no saying women don't do this either, or that there's something in society that makes people feel like they shouldn't make posters depicting women as perpetrators of sexual violence, but just because they don't make posters about women doesn't mean men don't perpetrate the crime of rape and should not be told that taking advantage of an unconsciou…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 01:20 PM
1

I agree that that's a problem--i don't like the idea of anybody taking advantage of someone's clear feelings for their own personal gain. People just do it because the kindness makes them feel special and important, but i happen to think that using someone else is a shitty way to go about feeling like that. women who do that don't have a very strong moral compass.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 04:44 AM
0

in my experience, when things like that happen, the woman in question rarely gets mad at the man for terminating the friendship. typically, she feels uncomfortable maintaining a friendship after the man has expressed feelings for her--makes her feel like he's either waiting for her to change her mind or that he'll just see her sexually/romantically from now on. it's others who make it seem like the guy did something wrong--usually the friends of the two people in question. if a woman really thin…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 04:33 AM
-3

(enough men for it to be a behavior familiar enough in society for the man in question to be called, simply, "that guy")? that's kind of the point...enough incidents like that occur in our society that the situation is almost a cliche. there are certainly more incidents of rape than of false accusation. It seems to be suggesting that women who have not been raped should think twice about reporting. a lot of rape victims spend time debating whether or not their attack was "real," or if anyone wou…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 04:17 AM
-2

have you read things that say those things specifically? i'm not telling you what i think you've read; I'm telling you what i believe is out there based off my own beliefs and assumptions about the world in which i live. i doubt you've read things like that because my personal experience leads me to doubt that such things exist.
/r/MensRights09/10/14 03:43 AM
-2

i'm saying he's projecting his opinion into his representation of what the advertisers think. i could say the same, projecting what i think: "we're betting that mothers are people who 1) enjoy humor directed at fathers and 2) think tiny baby shirts with mildly insulting phrases are cute because obviously a baby would never say something disparaging" see how we both made assumptions about why the advertisers did what they did? and how they're both projections of how we personally feel about the s…
/r/MensRights09/10/14 02:14 AM
-2

what have you read that says all advertisers think mothers are "sexist" and have "fragile egos" that must be "pandered to?" unless you can find something that says those things specifically, it's just your interpretation of an author's work. and you're clearly biased. we all hear what we want to hear, not necessarily what's being said--be humble enough to acknowledge that what you personally take away from an article or whatever you've "read around the topic" might not be what the author intende…
/r/MensRights08/10/14 11:45 PM
1

You're just asking how to defend yourself against people framing you for a crime. Scenario 4 could be "a guy stabs himself in the leg and goes to the police claiming you stabbed him." if someone orchestrates the framing well enough, they'll probably get away with it. but that requires a LOT of planning and organization, as well as an intense motive. in those cases, it's one person's word against the other. in theory, these cases shouldn't end in your conviction because the prosecution wouldn't b…
/r/MensRights08/10/14 11:13 PM
-1

"you're dumb!" make a point or don't, man. you're not changing anyone's mind by just saying I'm wrong without proving it. fact: you don't know for certain what the advertiser's motivations were for making this piece of clothing were. you can guess, but you don't know unless you were part of the process for creating the piece.
/r/MensRights08/10/14 11:03 PM
-4

the poster isn't aimed at those people, though. it's aimed at "that guy," the guy who takes advantage of unconscious people. further, our justice system is designed in such a way that people are innocent until proven guilty. if a man is falsely accused of rape, a court presumes he is innocent until evidence proves he is guilty. you don't report a false accusation; you are simply found innocent when falsely accused. there will be no dip in "false accusation reports" as a result of the "don't be t…
/r/MensRights08/10/14 10:43 PM
0

i don't think it's a woman feeling entitled to the friendship--the friendship already existed. that was the relationship she knew, and he knew, and until the man makes his feelings clear, friendship is exactly what both parties purportedly wanted. so when the man decides friendship is no longer satisfying, he's asking the woman to change the relationship at a basic level. it's no longer friendship, it's romantic. when the woman says she's not interested romantically, but would like to remain fri…
/r/MensRights08/10/14 10:29 PM
-5

pretty sure you're having trouble separating what you think the advertisers' opinions are from your own opinions. in other words…you're projecting your opinion onto them.
/r/MensRights08/10/14 10:19 PM
4

those posters weren't just a role reversal, though. it wasn't a guy lying on a bed, passed out, with a girl looming over him. that would be a role reversal, and that would be totally appropriate. those posters should exist. posters like this aren't a gender reversal, though. they're suggestions that women who regret having sex often report the incident as rape (enough women for it to be a behavior familiar enough in society for the woman in question to be called, simply, "that girl"). those post…
/r/MensRights08/10/14 10:06 PM
-6

definitely with you on the marketing thing. makes sense to appeal to women when they make most of a household's child clothing purchases. pretty sure the rest is just your own projection of what you think "most" mothers are…what exactly makes you say they're sexist and have fragile egos? isn't motherhood (and parenting in general) about downplaying your own ego/needs for the sake of your child? at the end of the day, this is a shirt for a baby, meant to get a chuckle from the moms passing by it …
/r/MensRights08/10/14 09:56 PM
0

I think it's just people noting the fact that she's your significant other--many people don't like the sensation of kissing someone who has a lot of facial hair (I've been the victim of many a stubble-induced face rash). Who's to say they wouldn't say the same thing to your boyfriend if you were gay?
/r/MensRights08/10/14 09:46 PM
1

For men, it's a constant reminder if you're not that complex developed male in real life, you're as good as dead. There's no escaping that. I'm not really sure what you mean by this. Every living person has a highly developed "backstory" in the sense that they've been alive and have memories and depth…nobody in the world is actually just a nameless henchman. what do you mean "if you're not complex and developed?" Feelings are complex and different for all sorts of people. For some people that ki…
/r/MensRights01/10/14 04:50 AM
1

care to elaborate, or provide something to back up what you're saying?
/r/MensRights30/09/14 10:38 PM
1

Yeah, that's like saying 1 is better than 0. ;) Touche. I think you're right, honestly--it's interesting to me that men are the only ones who can be randomly massacred by a hero and have it be acceptable. I guess the difference in my mind is that yeah, a bunch of men just got killed over there, but hey, look! there's a complex, developed male character standing right over there. with women, sexualization is the norm, even for lead characters, so there's little to no escape from the ways in which…
/r/MensRights30/09/14 03:39 PM
1

If we really want things to change, we have two main options on what we can do about this: 1: We make it so that female characters aren't required to be more difficult to write so the average writer can actually write one as well as a male character. Or, 2: We stop throwing money at people like Michael Bay. I think both of those options would be great. I think a lot of the reason, however, that screenwriters have trouble writing complex female characters is because a lot of screenwriters are mal…
/r/MensRights30/09/14 03:05 PM
1

i'm impressed that as a survivor, you can still find a way to find humor in the situation of rape. i'm glad you've healed enough to be able to do so. i'm just being conscious of the fact that not every rape survivor is doing as well as you seem to be doing--saying you feel dirty about what now appears to be a consensual act is poking fun at those who use that phrase and still feel that way with regard to their rape. i'm happy you've moved on, and are healing, but that kind of stuff hurts people …
/r/MensRights30/09/14 01:21 PM
1

And for every one of those, there's a hundred or so men who's sole purpose is to die in the film. That's true--but female characters are also disposable. think about any disaster movie. women are among victims, too. also, think about any movie where a character is made out to be evil or sadistic--usually that character will target females. Buffalo Bill wouldn't have been half as scary if he was trapping men in that well. Their existence. okay, then why most of them happen to be objectively attra…
/r/MensRights30/09/14 03:42 AM
-5

i don't think you're a bad person or anything, not at all. humor is humor, i don't think you meant any harm. i just don't think rape jokes are funny, so we differ there.
/r/MensRights30/09/14 03:24 AM
-2

i agree with that. but if you're implying that every woman who says she was raped because she doesn't remember the guy she wakes up next to is lying, you're generalizing too much.
/r/MensRights30/09/14 03:22 AM
-1

what's wrong with questioning behaviors i disagree with?
/r/MensRights30/09/14 03:18 AM
3

wow, as a woman, let me say--you nailed this. absolutely read my brain. this is how i think!
/r/MensRights30/09/14 12:58 AM
-4

then why say the "feel so dirty" part? that seems to be making light of a common feeling experienced by rape victims.
/r/MensRights30/09/14 12:57 AM
-2

you can realize retroactively you were raped. if someone gets raped at age 10 and represses the memory, only for it to resurface at age 19, did they "just now decide" they were raped?
/r/MensRights30/09/14 12:52 AM
1

nope!
/r/MensRights30/09/14 12:51 AM
2

eh, you'd be surprised. i know a lot of girls who felt pressured into sex at age 15, or younger. that's not to say that each one of those girls in this case felt that way at some point, but i wouldn't discount claims of girls feeling pressured into sex just because you happen to know pop culture portrays men as pressuring girls--just because it happens on TV doesn't mean it doesn't happen in real life, too.
/r/MensRights30/09/14 12:51 AM
0

did you feel violated by the encounters?
/r/MensRights29/09/14 11:59 PM
-5

is this you joking about rape?
/r/MensRights29/09/14 11:59 PM
1

when you say "abused their bodies," do you mean the girls think boys abused their own bodies or that boys abused their, the girl's, bodies?
/r/MensRights29/09/14 11:56 PM
1

interesting. honestly, that's a good point--you need to spend a lot more time convincing an audience to be partial to seeing a woman be injured (at least by a man). that's the nature of our society. however, i disagree that women in general have to be highly characterized in order to be beaten up--think about bellatrix lestrange in the harry potter films. she's barely characterized, she's just given the "crazy killer bitch" vibe from the beginning (scary hair and eyes, black clothes, murderous/t…
/r/MensRights29/09/14 11:52 PM
1

The amount of dynamic men in film compared to non-dynamic isn't that far off from the dynamic women part. i disagree. i think we might be using the word "dynamic" to mean different things, though--yes, there's shitty, undeveloped characters on both ends of the gender spectrum. but when i say "dynamic" i mean "important/interesting for any reason other than sex appeal/romantic interest." there are so, so many male characters in so, so many movies that are important, interesting (and exist) for re…
/r/MensRights29/09/14 11:29 PM
-1

There are a shit ton of movies which fail the bechdel test that have interesting and/or badass female leads, and in most of those films the men are relegated to stock characters as well. That's kinda the point--in a movie where a woman is the lead, is a total badass in every way, she still doesn't talk to another woman about anything other than men. yes, men are stock characters in such films (obviously stock characters exist in both genders, "henchman #1" is probably going to be a male" but it'…
/r/MensRights29/09/14 04:51 PM
1

Dynamic and less sexualized representation of women already exist in modern film and television yes, and 1 is greater than 0, but it's still way less than 50. i think women should be celebrated in all roles, sexualized and otherwise--a big part of going to movies is watching objectively attractive people do crazy or fun things. but it's just the fact that women are stuck in one end, the sexualized end, that makes it seem as if the world does not value them in more dynamic roles.
/r/MensRights29/09/14 04:25 PM
0

i mean, in bechdel's eyes (probably), it's a problem. to feminists, it's a problem. to others, maybe not. it's true that just because one group thinks something is a problem doesn't mean others have to or should necessarily agree. that being said, i think many non-feminists could agree that a more dynamic, less sexualized representation of women could exist in modern film and television. there are many reasons why it does not (all of which boil down to, essentially, sexualizing women works and m…
/r/MensRights29/09/14 04:30 AM
-1

i think the bechdel test isn't really a test like you think it is--if you look at the original comic this test is based off of, you can see it's really just social commentary. Alison Bechdel, the author, is just pointing out the fact that a lot of movies out there don't pass those three criteria; she's not making any grand claims about why that is. it's not really a thought experiment, or a test, it's just pointing out a reality in order to expose potential problems in how women are represented …
/r/MensRights29/09/14 03:49 AM
2

i think the issue is that movies targeted at men (e.g., action films or movies based off comic books, among many many others) don't portray women as anything other than stock characters, like "the girl for the hero to get" or "the sexy but vicious evil villain." movies targeted at women, like romantic comedies, actually often pass the bechdel test. a good example is the recent movie A Fault in Our Stars--the entire movie is aimed at preteen girls, literally revolves around a relationship, yet pa…
/r/MensRights29/09/14 03:43 AM
0

do you define value by how others react to you, though? just because people treat you nicer doesn't mean you're more valuable.
/r/MensRights29/09/14 03:29 AM
0

"Women are, by their very nature, deemed to be valuable. A woman is important, special, something of value without needing to be anything more than a woman. She need not be especially intelligent, charming, or even particularly useful to fulfill the role of “nice to have around”. A woman can be an arrogant, stuck up waste of flesh, but so long as she’s a woman, that’s good enough." I don't know how true this is. What gives an overweight, ugly, mean, asshole, infertile woman any "value" to a man?
/r/MensRights28/09/14 09:07 PM
1

according to who?
/r/MensRights28/09/14 09:05 PM
1

i agree, there's too much of all crime. but who sounds like they're supporting the ultimate ideal of eliminating crime--someone who says people who say a particular crime is underreported have an "internal echo chamber about underreporting stats" or someone who says there's an epidemic that must be addressed?
/r/MensRights26/09/14 07:26 PM
1

did you even read the rest of my post? that quote you pulled out is something i acknowledge is an absurd and irrational extreme. you should probably read whole posts before making catty comments.
/r/MensRights26/09/14 06:51 PM
1

okay, whatever you say bud. but rape is underreported, and there's a lot of rape. there's too much rape.
/r/MensRights26/09/14 06:46 PM
1

why do i have zero basis? don't you understand that rape is one of the most underreported crimes? most experts estimate that only 40% of rapes are reported in the US, and the US has one of the highest reporting rates in the world. in a lot of countries, there's nowhere to even report rape--think about Sudan. Tons and tons of rape as weapons of war, and nowhere to report it. okay, i'll explain this out for you if you really don't get it. i'm using the word "epidemic" in this case as a metaphor. i…
/r/MensRights26/09/14 03:38 AM
1

why's that? feminist agenda or something?
/r/MensRights26/09/14 02:37 AM
0

yes! it is possible to lower one's risk of being raped. the best way to do this would be to lock yourself in a room, interact with zero humans, and live in solitude. that's a great decision in terms of avoiding rape. now, obviously, i'm exaggerating there--i also know that you can lower your risk of being raped by not consuming alcohol to excess, by walking in well-lit areas you're familiar with, by checking in with friends, by not going on dates with people you don't know--all very reasonable, …
/r/MensRights25/09/14 03:30 PM
1

okay, i'm using the word "epidemic" to imply that i think there is a massive, massive amount of rape in the world. to me, a quarter of a million reported rapes (implying millions of unreported rapes) is a massive amount. if you disagree, that's fine, but hey, protip--i wouldn't walk around telling people there's an acceptable amount of rape in this world.
/r/MensRights25/09/14 03:06 PM
1

okay, the UN says there's 250,000 reported cases of rape annually worldwide. so how many go unreported? still not an epidemic?
/r/MensRights25/09/14 12:34 AM
1

i get it, and i understand the point of the experiment--people care less about domestic abuse towards males. but it's not a good experiment. different samples of people will react in different ways, you need more control than this--can't just do this in front of two entirely different groups of people in two entirely different places and make any generalizations about the results.
/r/MensRights25/09/14 12:31 AM
1

no, you're just misinterpreting me. any decisions made leading up to rape are completely irrelevant to the fact that you were raped. it does not matter if you were drunk, or sober, or walking down a dark street where only rapists live at 2am, if you get raped, you were raped, and you did not make the choice to be raped. you made choices to put yourself at risk for rape, but you did not choose to be raped. it is impossible to choose to be raped, because then it would no longer be rape. opening th…
/r/MensRights25/09/14 12:19 AM
0

i agree completely with everything you said. but i said "men rape more than women rape" because it's important to be realistic about a problem when trying to take the steps you outlined above--if we pretend that rape isn't a gendered problem, we're crippling ourselves in our efforts to combat it.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 07:09 PM
0

true. so where do we go from here? don't just stop the conversation at "well, hey, women could be prolific offenders, we don't know for sure." frankly, who gives a shit which gender rapes more? as a people, we're trying to eliminate rape from society. let's target rapists.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:27 PM
-1

this is why nobody takes y'all seriously. with nearly 16,000 annually reported rapes--just in England and Wales, two tiny countries in this whole big world we've got--and an estimated 78,000 total annual rapes….i'd say there's something big going on here.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:21 PM
0

You just said that if you make any decision at all which results in unwanted sex, then it can't possibly be rape. When did I ever say that? find the quote where i said that, please-- i think you're just misinterpreting me. i said that rape is a decision, one you're still responsible for regardless of sobriety. BEING raped is not a decision--by nature, it's being deprived of the ability to make a choice about having sex.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:20 PM
-1

okay, but everyone in this world knows that being drunk puts you at higher risk for sexual assault. mission accomplished, guys, everyone knows! now why do we still feel the need to bring it up whenever a woman happens to have been drinking before she was raped? she knows it put her at higher risk; so what? she still got raped. it's kinda like how the coast guard still goes out to save people who sailed in risky conditions.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:16 PM
-1

i'll clarify before i say this--the numbers i'm using are completely made up off the top of my head, i understand they're not representative of the facts about rape or sexual assault. anyway: is rape an epidemic if 60% of the population is raped? just because it used to be 70%? because i'd say it is.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:25 AM
-1

no. it's rape if one of the parties involved in sex did not consent to sex. it's really, truly, that fucking simple.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:23 AM
1

hey man--chill. i had homework.
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:22 AM
-2

all statistics are gathered with a political agenda, including the ones you cite here. the author of that article is very clearly trying to make a point about the CDC stats. at the end of the day, stats aside, using common sense and basic knowledge of the world we live in--do you really, truly believe that there are the same amount of male victims of rape perpetrated by women as there are female victims of rape perpetrated by men? does that really make sense to you? because i've seen stats (not …
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:21 AM
0

i agree! i think drunk people can consent. hell, i've had drunk sex, and it was consensual. that being said, i think drunk people are easy to coerce, and drunk people are less likely to actively fight someone off if they're experiencing rape. so being drunk increases chances of you being victimized. it's important to remember, though, that just because someone was drunk, and thus someone made a decision to put themselves in a mental state more vulnerable to rape, does not justify the fact that t…
/r/MensRights24/09/14 04:11 AM
3

if you actively consent to sex, even while drunk (not passed out, not incoherent, mind you), then you were not raped. if you claim you were raped even though you gave consent, that's a false accusation. i don't defend that. HOWEVER. there are far more rapes than false accusations of rape. the epidemic is not false accusation; it is rape. that's why there's attention called to the issue of men using their drunkenness as an excuse for rape. "i was drunk, i couldn't have raped her!" makes no sense.
/r/MensRights23/09/14 08:47 PM
1

I think it's important to remember the context of the school--Wesleyan is a pretty liberal college, especially in terms of gender dynamics. They also have a handful of frats versus only one sorority ( a sorority that doesn't even have a house). So if any school was going to break the traditional gender roles of greek life, it kinda makes sense that it would be the ultra-open minded northeastern liberal arts school with limited options for females interested in that world.
/r/MensRights23/09/14 08:40 PM
-17

you're responsible for your decisions, even while drunk. raping someone is a decision. being raped is not a decision. i don't care about behavior preceding rape, i don't care about clothing or where someone decided to hang out late at night. being raped is not a decision, raping someone is. men rape more than women rape. more men make the decision to rape than women. that's why there needs to be accountability and no dismissal of "he was drunk."
/r/MensRights23/09/14 07:59 PM
1

i'm not sure. i think now, probably yes. but before the NFL scandals broke, probably not. it really does have a lot more to do with publicity and the media than anything else, at least in my mind.
/r/MensRights23/09/14 07:57 PM
0

What about the publicity factor though? Yeah, Solo's case got attention--but women's soccer is hardly as popular as the NFL. Consider this: if the NFL were a lower-profile organization, would they have felt as compelled to suspend Ray Rice and Adrian Peterson? The War Machine MMA case is also comparable--in truth, it's arguably a much more egregious and violent crime than those committed by Rice, Peterson, or Solo. Did that garner the same attention in the mass media? No, because MMA fighters ar…
/r/MensRights23/09/14 07:16 PM
1

ooooooooh.
/r/MensRights22/09/14 12:40 AM
1

they're not really saying men don't get harassed; they're just highlighting types of harassment that happen more often to women. they never say "men never get harassed online" or anything, they just note that harassment towards women online tends to be focused on physical appearance and sexuality. if you're reading deeper into the video just to find a reason to be angry, stop. they're not man-hating, they're hating people who comment on their online posts by saying they should be raped. they use…
/r/MensRights21/09/14 09:16 PM
1

why do you think that is?
/r/MensRights21/09/14 09:12 PM
1

I think some women do. Women who act like they expect male adoration, however, are usually the ones who have issues with their own self-esteem, so I'd keep that in mind. Like anyone else, they find validation through knowing people are attracted to them (a lot of straight women with these self-esteem issues go to lesbian bars for a similar reason--they just want to see if they're attractive enough to get hit on). Women who are confident in themselves as friends and as human beings probably don't…
/r/MensRights21/09/14 09:04 PM
1

You argued that men OUGHT to be profiled based on their gender. when did i say men ought to be profiled for their gender? find me a quote. because i'm pretty sure all i have ever said is that it makes sense that more men are on the no-fly list, because more men have historically been hijackers, and the fact that the no-fly list is mostly male is not discrimination against males. i think you're missing my point here. and you're being rude about it to boot, so i'm not super inclined to read and re…
/r/MensRights18/09/14 03:00 AM
1

first off, stop being so condescending. it's mildly irritating for me, but it detracts from your argument as a whole by making you look petty and angry. stay calm, if you're capable of it. anyway: right now, there's probably EXACTLY the same amount of discrimination on the no fly list based off handedness as there is based off gender. just because there are more men on the no-fly list does not mean they are being profiled for their gender... ...and just because there are more right handed people…
/r/MensRights17/09/14 05:12 PM
1

i agree, but when a lot of the same people engage zoe by saying negative things about her online and then turn around and say "but its an issue of journalism!" it becomes more an issue of self-control. further, i know trolls exist, and you can't really stop them, but i'm just putting it out there that if trolling is exactly what someone wants to produce…wouldn't the biggest troll of all be to NOT troll them?
/r/MensRights17/09/14 04:31 AM
1

fair enough, again, all this stuff goes a bit over my head. to me, though, anyone who engages her is helping her, especially if her goal of just getting attention is so transparent to everyone. ignoring her would be the best route from their perspective, but they don't…so who's to blame? the person who's "plan" is going exactly as she wants, or people who see the plan, know it's there, and help it along the way? maybe both, but either way, you're right. not a men's rights issue.
/r/MensRights17/09/14 04:16 AM
1

But all men shoot people? Nope, never said that! Don't try to put words in my mouth. That's not true at all oh? it's random? Yes; that is profiling. How many of them were right handed? no, it's statistics. most hijackers are men; it makes sense that most people suspected of being hijackers are also men. i assume, honestly, that most hijackers have been right-handed and that most people suspected of being hijackers are also right-handed, but that's simply because the general population is mostly …
/r/MensRights17/09/14 03:02 AM
0

that's not what i'm saying at all. the right-handed-ness would be preemptive--not all right handed people shoot other people, and not all men are on the no-fly list. people on the no-fly list have done something to be there; it's not discrimination against males if more males have done something worthy of being put on the no-fly list than women. and don't say that it's some conspiracy against men that women aren't put on the no-fly list--look at a list of terrorists who have used planes as weapo…
/r/MensRights16/09/14 11:15 PM
1

interesting. i just feel like there are two opposing sides/claims here: one is that journalistic ethics is the core of the controversy/the true reason for all the outrage, and the other side ("zoe's side," if you will) is that zoe quinn is being targeted because of her sexual behaviors and gender in the predominantly male world of gaming. i would be way more inclined to believe the "journalism" side if there weren't so many demonstrable incidents of people attacking zoe about her sex life and ge…
/r/MensRights16/09/14 11:12 PM
1

i'm not sure, i'm willing to bet there's a kind of "solidarity" factor involved in supporting gendered diseases. it's easier to support a cause when there's a sort of "team" mentality to it (especially when it's marketed that way, again, breast cancer groups have done a remarkable job of making breast cancer visible and almost trendy to support). however, breast cancer affects males too, so it's not a gendered disease--it's less common for men to get breast cancer, but it does happen. prostate c…
/r/MensRights16/09/14 11:04 PM
1

why don't i know any of their names though? why is zoe getting all the attention in mass media?
/r/MensRights16/09/14 10:58 PM
1

great career for people who like being called a slut and having their lives threatened, i guess.
/r/MensRights16/09/14 10:58 PM
1

what proportion of people who attack others on planes are male? if you were to guess? it's not discrimination if it makes sense statistically speaking.
/r/MensRights16/09/14 10:57 PM
2

i feel like that's what important, though, bringing attention to the issues in gaming journalism (again, I'm pretty ignorant in this world, but from the sound of it, it sounds like a corrupt one). i just think it's wrong to call her a slut and a whore and send her death threats if she really isn't important. if she's not important, it's just targeting someone.
/r/MensRights16/09/14 09:25 PM
-1

so questioning the integrity of the reporters, then? why aren't they being called into question for letting their sex life impact their work?
/r/MensRights16/09/14 09:05 PM
0

how has anyone seen it if it's been deleted...?
/r/MensRights16/09/14 08:37 PM
2

because society is structured in a way that prevents women from feeling right in approaching a man--she is told from a young age that if she is valuable and attractive enough, men will approach her. even in the modern world, a woman asking out a man is seen as "desperate." check out that graph--women prefer to be asked out not because they're "lazy" or something--women feel validated by going on successful dates and having successful relationships just as much as men do--it's that they feel like…
/r/MensRights16/09/14 08:17 PM
2

i mean, who called her dad and told him she was a whore though? who hacked her friends bank records? seems like zoe and people close to her were targeted. unless you think she's totally lying? if those things are true, regardless of what any feminist has to say, those actions alone seem immoral.
/r/MensRights16/09/14 08:13 PM
2

Breast cancer gets an amazingly disproportionate amount of donations considering it's not the most deadly disease out there. But I don't think it's a gender thing, I think breast cancer just has amazingly competent PR workers and wildly successful campaigns. Think about all the massive corporations breast cancer groups have ties with (Nike, Coca-Cola…). Also, note on that infographic I linked to above that prostate cancer raises the second most amount of money after breast cancer…they use "movme…
/r/MensRights16/09/14 08:05 PM
3

oh. why are people so mad about that though? just like questioning her integrity? people sleep with other people in media circles all the time to get an edge
/r/MensRights16/09/14 07:56 PM
1

you have to take into account how the media reports things. it's not the public that isn't outraged, it's that "footballer acts violently in public" is a "tired" story now--and the media isn't going to press it as hard. fucked up, i know, but that's the way modern media works. further, it wasn't the fact that rice abused his wife that caused the outrage--that story came out a long time ago, and wasn't very well-known. it's the fact that there was new, disturbing video that TMZ released--a very c…
/r/MensRights16/09/14 07:54 PM
2

this is just a man being mistreated. it's not systematic oppression of the gender.
/r/MensRights16/09/14 07:49 PM
2

i'm relatively uninformed on this subject--how does her sex life relate to her job? is it that she slept with people to get her game developed or something?
/r/MensRights16/09/14 07:44 PM
1

well, if feminism dies, i hope it's replaced by a more active movement than the MRM. and hey-- sorry nobody "helps" men. shame that not even the Men's Rights Movement does, you'd think they'd be more motivated than most.
/r/MensRights15/09/14 04:43 AM
1

Okay! Do nothing, make no effort. Be mad that feminists don't help you, but keep doing it in the privacy of your own homes. That's actually great for feminism, now feminists win! Success! /s
/r/MensRights15/09/14 12:39 AM
1

Because you're not asking in good faith. so only questions asked by people who agree with you and support your cause are worth addressing? You seem to think that the MRM has somehow failed if it doesn't live up to your expectations for what a men's movement should be. is it living up to yours currently? you're satisfied with making zero change? Why hasn't feminism accomplished anything for men? because feminism fights for society to view women with as much respect and legitimacy as it views men.…
/r/MensRights14/09/14 07:45 AM
1

please, please, please, address my question. it's insane that you've posted so many times without addressing the content of what i'm asking. nitpicking me is annoying, but you're not making me change my mind. so seriously, answer this, if you're able to: why don't MRAs make concerted efforts to make tangible change in society? if they do, what are those efforts?
/r/MensRights13/09/14 02:38 AM
0

do you not understand how debate works? you present an affirmative statement, then one side argues in favor of the statement, and the other argues in opposition of it. my evidence for the affirmative side is that i have never seen a campaign of any size sponsored by the MRA in an effort to try to spread awareness about issues of underreporting of male rape victims, issues of male homelessness, or any other important issue of male rights.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 11:59 PM
0

is the duluth model a law? no, it is not. it's a program. no legal ramifications come with not following the duluth model. you may think that somehow maryland saying that nobody can be discriminated against because of gender is discriminatory, but pretty much, it's one sentence saying that gendered discrimination is illegal. so focus on that. the duluth model is not law. A woman who interrupts her career to raise her children has made the choice to do so. Like many feminists you seem determined …
/r/MensRights12/09/14 11:06 PM
1

thank you. i suggest the MRM works harder in the face of opposition to fight for their goals and wish you all luck in making headway on important issues.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 10:24 PM
1

Curious, why do you think women say men their age are most attractive to them? Because objectively speaking, a 22 year old guy will usually be more attractive to anyone than a 43 year old guy.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 09:05 PM
3

No shame, I get that younger people are more attractive. That's biology. I'm just saying we should all be realistic about who we're gonna reasonably be able to sleep with.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 09:02 PM
0

Oh I get it! Gender equality isn't really meant to apply in all cases just certain cases that feminists like yourself have deemed important. I guess in those cases where men are victimized, e.g. the Duluth model of DV, gender equality can take a back seat. It's not like men deserve equality anyway amiright? /s There is nothing in the law that says male DV victims should be treated any differently by law enforcement than female victims. Find me somewhere, in a piece of legislation, that says the …
/r/MensRights12/09/14 08:59 PM
-1

The MRM is growing, and it and men's issues are increasingly gaining attention, and it's because we have been speaking out, which is itself a form of activism. We're the main reason why people are starting to pay attention to female-on-male domestic violence and sexual assault. No, show me a fundraiser. Show me a campaign. Show me a headquarters. Show me a poster that isn't just anti-feminist. Speaking out is NOT a form of activism--activism means you campaign to bring about change. Speaking out…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 08:39 PM
1

Small actions are the beginning of every large movement. Do you seriously think every major cultural change in this country happened out of thin air? That kind of thing takes WORK. you have to be willing to put in the shit work if you want to make anything happen. social change is not given to anyone because they complain about how unfair the world is. social change comes through a series of small, incremental successes. the world doesn't jive with massive immediate overhauls. be realistic to be…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 08:20 PM
3

OK Cupid is actually a pretty good data selection, they have an extraordinarily large sample size (just under 2 million users a month, I think). of course, it only applies to people who use online dating, so it's limited in that aspect, but considering the fact that about 1/3 of newly married couples in the US met online, it's not too much of a stretch. It indicates that 20-year-old girls are hot and men of all ages enjoy looking at them. Who could have guessed? yeah, but 20-year-old men are hot…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 08:08 PM
2

that's fun, congrats. statistically speaking, she's unlikely to be genuinely attracted to you. you have certainly found a diamond in the rough. i'm just saying, if every man out there thinks only women aged 20-24 are attractive….there's gonna be a lot of disappointed men out there. only so many 20-24 year olds to go around (and they have this nasty habit of turning 25 and 26, and then 30, and then 40…).
/r/MensRights12/09/14 08:01 PM
1

Argument (or in debate terms, "resolution"): the MRM is an ineffective movement because it makes little to no effort to create tangible social change. the author supports this statement. you oppose it. now argue, back up your argument with fact, and convince me that the MRM isn't more focused on hating feminism than helping homeless men get off the streets.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 07:56 PM
0

So what you are saying is that we shouldn't create a movement that a lot of people know about, we shouldn't create something that will actually make changes happen. We should only think small, think tiny... create a bake sale? Nope! not what I'm saying at all, don't interpret me incorrectly. I'm saying start somewhere--I know money doesn't grow on trees, and something is better than nothing. If y'all end up with a million-dollar campaign to spread awareness about the importance of male rape repo…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 05:07 PM
-1

Most feminists aren't activists; this is because feminism is an ideology, a set of beliefs. A feminist can be a feminist without taking any proactive measures to demonstrate such. The Men's Rights Movement is a movement, an organization of people who in theory have plans and goals to make a change in society. Now, a feminist group or movement should certainly be active, trying to change society. And many, many feminist groups and movements exist, and many of them are making clear moves to try to…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:52 PM
4

Okay, hope the 40 year old men have fun sharing all the 20-year-olds who have zero interest in them.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:47 PM
0

I couldn't care less what statute Maryland has passed. For one thing they're using the Duluth model of DV so this law just pays lip service to gender equality. What does the Duluth model have to do with election fundraising practices? What does the Duluth model have to do with government hiring practices? What does the Duluth model have to do with nominating people for the State Supreme Court? Those are the sorts of things this amendment protects. DV is dealt with in laws, anyway, not constituti…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:46 PM
1

why don't you join kickstarter? why don't you hold fundraisers? Don't wallow in the fact that you don't have money and then do nothing to change it. Or are the feminists maybe more devoted to their cause than you…?
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:36 PM
0

argument to debunk: why doesn't the MRA have funds going to start campaigns for the creation of male shelters? why isn't the movement making any moves?
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:34 PM
1

So focus on one issue at a time, change your name if you have to. If these issues are so important to you, who gives a damn what your name is? Start a fund to increase awareness about the importance of male rape victims reporting their attacks. Make posters. Write blogs. Join kickstarter. Utilize the power of Facebook and twitter. Start with small events in cities, ask people to sign petitions, ask people to donate. Seriously, do a bake sale if you need to. but DO something. and DON'T mention th…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:32 PM
0

fair enough. good points-- i still happen to disagree with your take on the alimony thing, because the new alimony laws disproportionately effected impoverished recipients. but that's a class issue. Mary Koss seems off her hinges. But I thought she was arguing that coercion, envelopment, and rape are separate entities? I could be totally wrong on that. As for the shelters, I think battered women aren't really trying to hang out with a lot of men following being beaten. I understand that the men …
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:26 PM
10

because men over the age of 25 are generally attracted to women that are not attracted to to them. as the other graph shows, women are attracted to men their own age. most couples are similar in age. so standards of attraction from the male perspective generally do no match up with reality; women's generally do. it seems unreasonable to me that men should ignore women their own age when not only are women significantly younger than them less attracted to them, but they're more likely to get a da…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 03:46 PM
0

So wait, the park where you actually debunk it with fact and clear logical argument? Directly address the accusations she makes about the MRA, and prove that she's wrong in those accusations? That's what the OP wants, right? One sarcastic sentence per paragraph isn't a very good response to her points.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 05:27 AM
-2

She's right. Where's the organized movements by the MRM to start shelters for men? Why does the MRM make posters revolving around women, and not posters saying "masculinity isn't about covering up crimes. report rape." or something to that effect? why haven't there been national campaigns, driven by the MRM, to inform society of the massive issue of male homelessness? feminism isn't actually stopping the MRM in its legitimate claims. feminism as a whole, for example, has no stake in national sui…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 05:19 AM
-1

There is no objective standard that would call the tactics of the MRM more confrontational than the tactics employed by feminists. Just do a quick search on Youtube. Did you miss the part where he says MRAs should stop trying to battle feminism? Because it detracts from the real issues? You're parodying yourself. Feminism is too widespread to be counteracted by a fringe movement like the MRA. it's based in centuries of steady progressive work. stop paying attention to them, work on your own issu…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 05:14 AM
11

How is this a men's rights issue…? All it does is prove that men have unreasonably high standards for female beauty: youth is clearly key to a male's attraction to women.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 05:04 AM
-1

-Not one feminist 'success' has been about equality. [check out the state ratifications.] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equal_Rights_Amendment#State_Equal_Rights_Amendments) you know what, I'll pick out one for you. Maryland: "Equality of rights under the law shall not be abridged or denied because of sex." So it's not about equality? I'm sure there's plenty of very nice people that call themselves feminists. As you explained in an earlier post, these people don't do anything. They don't write t…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:55 AM
-2

The Klu Klux Klan believes in equality too.They just use a different measuring stick. The Ku Klux Klan is hardly comparable to feminism; it is small and based in local groups with clearly defined hierarchies and guidelines (they have an entire secret language, set of handshakes, etc.)--people choose to join the KKK, much like they choose to join the MRM. they have activities, movements, so on. they agree to adhere to certain rules and to advocate certain beliefs. there is no paper you sign to be…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 04:30 AM
-2

It is if the group is inherently bigoted. that's my point--it isn't inherently bigoted. if there is even one feminist who truly believes men and women should be treated equally in society, feminism as a whole is not inherently bigoted. take into account that there are whole factions of feminism that are very anti- radical feminism, and you've got a group that isn't "inherently" anything in particular. the group holds similar, broad, sweeping beliefs, but the more broad something is, the less big…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 02:52 AM
0

fair enough, it makes more sense to generalize people by the choices they make and the beliefs they hold. that being said, feminism isn't exactly a small movement. in any group there are factions, infighting, and disagreements. so it's still not fair to label feminists as "bigots." it would be like me saying that republicans are all gun nuts.
/r/MensRights12/09/14 02:11 AM
-2

Feminists are people who believe that women have it worse than men in every way that can possibly merit inquiry. Feminists are people who think that the only way to get to "equal" is for women to get more and more and more privileges, forever, while men are ignored and dehumanized. By whose definition? Yours? The MRM's? Don't you understand that you are in the overwhelming minority on this issue? None but the most radical feminists would ever say that. Seriously, please, find me a feminist who h…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 02:06 AM
-1

are you paid to post here? who in god's name would pay me to post here? do you really think that's a thing? it's not like feminist groups all sit down together in a room and say "heehee, let's go waste a lot of money paying people to mess with those MRA dummies." sorry, but you're not that high on the feminist agenda. feminist groups don't like the MRM, sure, but they wouldn't waste time and money trying to fight some guerrilla comment warfare with you. of course you do it in as nice as way as p…
/r/MensRights12/09/14 01:52 AM
-2

what universe are you living in? this is so far from any reality i am in touch with. i'm living in the one where people appreciate what actual feminism is. seriously, look up the definition of feminism. it says nothing about activism, it says nothing about speaking out, it just says that feminism is the advocacy of equal treatment. feminists don't have to be loud or obtrusive or bigoted, and often are not. not my fault that you're blind to the vast majority of feminists because they don't choose…
/r/MensRights11/09/14 11:10 PM
-3

no, it's the bloggers you see and people writing for feminist websites. most feminists don't have a blog. most feminists are not activists. most feminists are relatively low-key, non-publicly-vocal individuals. Many, if not most, feminists have never marched, signed petitions, joined groups, or started conversations. Feminists are people who simply believe that women and men should be treated equally by society. The ones you hear from are usually either radical, uneducated, or unintelligent. you…
/r/MensRights11/09/14 10:52 PM
-2

Asserting that "feminists are bigots"--how is that really different from their claims of "you just hate so and so?" you're generalizing feminists just as much as you claim they're generalizing men, straight people, and white people.
/r/MensRights11/09/14 10:04 PM
1

i understand, but the two people in this situation exerted very different amounts of force. in this case, speaking from a legal perspective of course, rice probably should have been charged with either first or third degree assault to janay's fifth degree assault. people are equal, but crimes aren't.
/r/MensRights11/09/14 07:49 PM
1

because he can do an extraordinary amount of damage to a human being. all of janay's attacks didn't even make rice flinch.
/r/MensRights11/09/14 07:20 PM
1

i haven't really started an argument. i was just pointing out the poor quality of your metaphor. the point here is that rice was unable to exercise self-restraint in a scenario where the law, society, and human decency called for it. i don't see where animals fit in--rice is not an animal, he's a human, and should be treated as such and held to the standards of humanity.
/r/MensRights09/09/14 04:22 AM
1

a lot of victims of domestic abuse in lower economic classes stay with their SO because of love. i'm sure it's a combination.
/r/MensRights09/09/14 04:16 AM
1

Restraining someone, even someone who is tiny, isn't as easy as everyone is making it out to be. if he's strong enough to literally knock a human out with a punch (not an easy task--people going unconscious from blows to the head isn't as common as it is in the movies), he's absolutely strong enough to use his body to push her against the wall. he's bigger than her, he's a professional athlete, there is no reason to suggest he's incapable of restraining her. if you say that ray rice is not stron…
/r/MensRights09/09/14 04:13 AM
2

oh boy.
/r/MensRights08/09/14 11:03 PM
1

your reminder that Ray Rice had his assault charges dropped he pled not guilty and agreed to an intervention program, which means he does not have to go to trial and receives no jail time.
/r/MensRights08/09/14 11:02 PM
1

isn't it sad that someone is willing to stay with an abusive husband just because of love and money?
/r/MensRights08/09/14 10:58 PM
10

did he get knocked out cold? also, remember that up until today ray rice only had a two-game suspension for this crime. nobody cared until they had to care about this incident.
/r/MensRights08/09/14 10:51 PM
2

are you implying that all men are like lions, unable to control their violent tendencies?
/r/MensRights08/09/14 10:39 PM
3

She slapped him twice, possibly elbowed him in the face, then became the aggressor when she followed him after he tried to retreat. there's no justification for aggression. there is justification for self-defense, but not for aggression. rice could easily have held her at arm's length, or used his body to pin her/her limbs against the wall to neutralize her. i don't care if he wasn't thinking rationally, a punch like this went above and beyond the "threat" she posed to him. she may have been sla…
/r/MensRights08/09/14 10:38 PM
1

but there's a reason the vast majority of people believe 2+2=4: because that's correct. there's also a reason the vast majority of people define feminism as the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.. Because that's its definition.
/r/MensRights31/08/14 02:30 AM
1

If by being disruptive you actually mean "having energy" then yes. Boys have different school requirements, one of them is exercise. And there's nothing wrong with ogling girls, it's both normal and healthy. By disruptive, I mean "disruptive." As in shouting or running around during class, distracting their peers. Creating a disruption in the classroom. I understand that boys have different energy levels, and that's why I support physical education and lots of recess for young kids. By age 12 or…
/r/MensRights31/08/14 02:26 AM
1

okay, that's your definition of feminism. now ask any non-MRA (and believe it or not, there are people out there worth listening to who aren't MRAs) what theirs is.
/r/MensRights31/08/14 02:09 AM
1

they say rape is a "sexual act" committed by unlawful force, so on--and go on to define a "sexual act" as "contact between the penis and the vulva or anus or mouth, and for purposes of this subparagraph contact involving the penis occurs upon penetration, however slight" one could easily interpret that to mean a woman forcing contact between her vulva/anus/mouth and a man's penis is rape. the language isn't gendered at all, really. but it's interesting that sexual assault is synonymous with rape…
/r/MensRights31/08/14 02:09 AM
4

interesting, you're probably right. but i think people would still be mad at the store employee for grabbing at a person carrying a child. the anger would be more split.
/r/PussyPass30/08/14 05:37 PM
1

I thought sexual assault concerned nonconsensual sexual touching? Like if someone random runs up to you on the street and shoves their tongue down your throat, isn't that sexual assault?
/r/MensRights30/08/14 05:36 PM
2

the MRM is pushing back against feminism, which is pushing back at a traditionally male-dominated society. in the grand scheme of things, feminism is new. women haven't even be able to vote for 100 years in this nation. back in the day, women couldn't own property, marry whoever they wanted, control their bodies, be paid the same amount as a man, work in the same places as men, publish in journals, so on. back when those things were true, society was absolutely controlled by a patriarchal system…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 05:30 PM
3

all right, man, clearly this isn't the kind of conversation where you're willing to concede on any point, no matter how inane. you just want to disagree with me, regardless of what i say, and that's fine.
/r/MensRights30/08/14 05:16 PM
1

suffrage, at its core, was a feminist movement, despite what it was labeled as. it was a group of people fighting for equality for women.
/r/MensRights30/08/14 05:12 PM
-2

[men get away with rape too.] (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/30/robert-richards-rape_n_5060386.html) it's the system that's fucking up.
/r/PussyPass30/08/14 04:48 AM
4

So if it was a dad with a baby in his arms, do you think people wouldn't have gotten pissed at the employee for chasing after him and grabbing at him/his child? Maybe not to the same degree, but I doubt people would've been fine with it. This is more about the kid than the woman.
/r/PussyPass30/08/14 04:45 AM
1

I know this is a different class of assault, but I once saw a grown man come over and slap a little boy upside the head for bullying another little boy. The bully kid seemed to be in pain after, too, so I guess he got hit pretty hard. Nobody really saw it so it wasn't reported, but I really doubt any cop would have charged the man, either. Not to defend anyone's choice to assault a child AT ALL, but I think we as a society weirdly give people a pass when it comes to defending their kids, especia…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 04:40 AM
1

Assuming what you say is true, would it not be considered sexual assault, though?
/r/MensRights30/08/14 04:34 AM
0

What's wrong with holding affirmative consent as the standard for consent? It's the best protection for people accused of rape. If he/she said "yes," then you have that surefire, audible, proof of consent to a sexual act. If he/she doesn't say yes, what exactly is it that you think you're doing, anyway? Because it's probably not consensual sex.
/r/MensRights30/08/14 04:29 AM
2

What about having to undergo major surgery? Would that not be pretty bad? If it's to save my life or improve my health, obviously I'm going to be okay with it despite how much it sucks. Not to mention I would consent to the surgery, and have the option to opt out if I changed my mind. Myself, I'm thinking a medium grade anal rape might not be so bad. I mean, the woman might be quite gentle and use lube. The medical operation might leave me permanently disabled or of diminished mental capacity. I…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 04:17 AM
2

I think you're demonstrating my point right here. You're intentionally seeing the worst in feminism because that's your experience with it. But as a whole, feminism as a movement isn't radical--real feminists working for realistic change are not the same people that would say men have no issues at all worth addressing. And I'm sorry, I don't think you're winning the battle for hearts and minds. Most people don't have a whole lot of respect for the MRM. Most people make fun of it. I'm not necessa…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 03:38 AM
1

I have a very hard time seeing the difference between "Is a rapist" and "should be considered guilty of the crime of rape". I don't think there is a difference? If someone is guilty of rape, they are a rapist. When did I imply otherwise? What are you reading here? If feminists agreed that false accusations really did happen and where a real problem for the victims of false accusation, you would have a point. People have gotten in serious trouble for false accusation. No reasonable person would t…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 01:28 AM
1

Not paying attention because you have driven on the same street for 5+ years is risky driving, not paying attention period is risky driving, regardless of when. It's something that all people do, it something out brains have programmed us to do. As you become increasingly familiar with an environment, your brain pays less attention to its details in the present. That's why you can walk around your house with your eyes closed, your brain remembers it and doesn't need all the same stimuli to be ab…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 01:19 AM
0

Lots of men are convicted of rape on nothing more than an accusation, and people as a whole accept an accusation as definitive evidence. I really don't think that's true. When has this happened? Rape cases ending in conviction usually involve physical evidence. Irrelevant. A woman could be publicly beating her dog and if I told her off for it then I'd risk being attacked by white knights. I also don't think this is true. People usually don't support people abusing their animals. If I saw a man g…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 01:11 AM
1

You just can't make a real argument without sprinkling insults into it, can you? I don't need to read this if you're just going to be rude about it. If you can find a way to sway me using legitimate arguments and real, solid reasoning--not calling me pathetic, not acting like I'm delusional, not calling me retarded (because at this point, calling someone retarded isn't only rude, it's immature) understanding that I'm a human being who deserves to be treated with respect because I'm choosing to e…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 12:59 AM
1

It's true; you did introduce the qualification "forcible", but nomenimion's original comment did not, and i intended my remark more generally. Fair enough. In any case, i think the analogy remains valid, even with forcible rape, because throwing someone in jail is forcible, as are the other physical constraints entailed by false allegation, such as having to hide away at home, being arrested, increased risk of being assaulted, sometimes seriously, or even killed, in the street, or even being rap…
/r/MensRights30/08/14 12:54 AM
1

I don't see how "voluntarily marrying someone" is the same as "being raped", so I don't see how the family's response is in any way, shape or form relevant. The point is that women are also honor killed because they're victims of rape. This isn't something I'm making up just to make a point, it happens. http://www.thehindu.com/news/international/world/rape-victim-faces-honour-killing/article6231194.ece Moreover, you yourself already admit that the government opposes this and the article further …
/r/MensRights30/08/14 12:49 AM
1

I wouldn't say it would be feminism's greatest achievement at all--things like getting the vote in 1920 are definitely more significant achievements. I meant exactly what I said--we'd be in a better place societally if people stopped making assumptions and judgments about lifestyle and home choices based on gender.
/r/MensRights29/08/14 11:58 PM
1

Okay, but wouldn't you agree that feminists deliberately see the worst in the MRM, and MRAs deliberately see the worst in feminism? That's all I meant.
/r/MensRights29/08/14 11:56 PM
1

I hear you. I think it's this idea, though, that a victim of rape who wasn't drinking, wasn't walking through a bad area, so on--essentially, a victim who took every step to protect herself and still ended up getting raped--is somehow different from a victim who didn't take all those steps. At the end of the day, both are victims of rape, and that's what's important to them. I don't think saying "Maybe she should have gotten a little less drunk so she was less vulnerable" is the same as saying "…
/r/MensRights29/08/14 11:54 PM
1

I think women do think they need to take steps to protect themselves--this product will probably be used by a lot of women if it hits the shelves. A lot of women carry mace and guns and rape whistles too. I think the idea is that this nail polish is just one more thing a woman "should have done" to protect herself in the case she is raped--now, if a woman gets roofied and raped, someone will ask her "well why didn't you use the roofie nail polish?" The idea behind the rage at those self-defense …
/r/MensRights29/08/14 01:15 AM
0

they have the list of convolution that is in affect "How she feels about it in the morning" see, i just think that's your interpretation of their convolution; i happen to think that interpretation is incorrect. I agree that the definition of rape is ever-changing, which makes it hard to pin down, but i really don't think any reasonable person would say that consensual sex suddenly turns into rape if one of the parties involved regrets it later. A woman who consents to sex before and during the a…
/r/MensRights29/08/14 01:05 AM
1

agreed. and a lot of feminists get stuck on bashing radical MRM stuff instead of addressing real problems. can't deal, guess i'm gonna have to start my own movement.
/r/MensRights29/08/14 12:57 AM
1

I hear you. Again, I don't begrudge anyone any reason for choosing to end a relationship peacefully and respectfully. But there are some reasons more likely to lead to you being called an asshole, and leaving someone because of their sexual history (a reason completely separate from you unless that person has contracted a lifelong STD like HIV/AIDS), is one of those reasons. He's allowed to leave whenever he wants and for any reason he wants, but this reason means he's going to be called an assh…
/r/MensRights29/08/14 12:05 AM
1

Most of us were a little shocked when we were told to, basically, sit down and shut up. Then they actively suppressed any mention of us, or mens issues, on any forum. See, I think that's messed up. But I've also been on this sub for around a week now and been attacked because many MRAs assume I support feminist ideas. So it kinda goes both ways. It is the fact that feminists cannot, ever, accept they might be wr....wr....wrong, let alone they themselves are rank, sexist bigots. Therefore, femini…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:55 PM
1

I'm honestly not even sure how to address this. Yes, changing diapers is not a violation. Molestation obviously is. Consensual sex is not a violation. Rape obviously is. I have never, ever heard a feminist say that a woman who consents to sex before and during the act, but later regrets it for whatever reason, has been raped. Frankly, feminists know people assume they think this way and are thus very careful never to imply they truly think this way. Seriously, find me one feminist who has said t…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:49 PM
1

Let's not call people "retards," come on now. Don't tell me I "suck at interpersonal communication" when you're the one hurling insults at strangers. Grow up a little. It's someone looking for context. Trying to analyze the situation and understand what risks were taken. Why does it matter how many risks were taken before the rape? Risks aren't illegal. Rape is. This is fucking absurd. First, you were making a general statement about public reaction. The public isn't shown someone beaten and blo…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:44 PM
1

but that's not forced? it's consensual.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:32 PM
1

Idealistically I think affirmative consent is a great idea, however stopping to ask "may I?" at every step is just not how sex works in practice. I get that, but you can also incorporate getting consent into sex. Saying "do you like this?" to an enthusiastic "yes!" can even be a turn-on for many people. It doesn't have to be distant and clinical and unsexy and awkward. Asking someone "is this okay?" can make them feel more comfortable, which will probably make sex better for everyone involved. I…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:31 PM
1

okay, i'll rephrase my first statement to make it make more sense. "rape can certainly happen (and often does) without the rapist meaning to do anything wrong" should read "rape can certainly happen (and often does) without the rapist realizing they've done anything wrong. if someone doesn't get consent, they've made a choice. that's intent. however, in their mind, in that moment, they may not be thinking to themselves "i am raping this person." they still made a choice by failing to get consent…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:08 PM
1

Are we just insulting each other now? You're ugly! I know what an analogy is. I also understand basic psychology. If you compare being raped to getting in a car accident, people will associate the two and their brains will work to find connections between the two. Our brains love finding patterns and work constantly to help us form memories by making connections to other things. Now, when people in this discussion recall the concept of "rape," car accidents may also come to mind either conscious…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 11:03 PM
1

http://america.aljazeera.com/articles/2014/6/1/pakistan-issues-fatwaagainsthonorkillingscallingthemunislamic.html There's an article showing that the government, yes, condemns murder. But two dozen people participated in the murder. Two dozen. That's a lot of people who were okay with murdering a pregnant woman for the "crime" of marrying a man her family didn't agree with. Imagine if that woman had had premarital "sex," as many people believe has happened to an unwed rape victim? But even if th…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 10:55 PM
1

And for that matter, lots of things raise suicide rates for men, overall it's higher for men than for women. So are you actually saying that rape isn't really a big deal? Are other things that cause suicide - such as divorce - worse than rape if they lead to more suicides? I'm really just trying to follow along with your logic here in some sort of consistent manner. I'm not talking about male v. female victims here, just rape victims in general. And I'm simply trying to say that some victims of …
/r/MensRights28/08/14 10:34 PM
2

See, that's what I think feminism is. Doing what works because hell, it works! Once people stop giving people crap for doing things like that, we're going to be in a much better place societally.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 10:10 PM
0

what's the definition of "feminist rape"? this is a bad analogy to make. why would you ever define child molestation that way? doctors need to touch a child's genitalia. parents need to touch a child's genitalia. but they don't do so because it gives them any sort of pleasure, they do so because it's an important part of maintaining a child's health. rape isn't an important part of maintaining anyone's health.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 10:08 PM
1

I'm an idiot, I guess. Damn. What's the point of making the analogy though? If it doesn't accurately reflect what you're trying to compare the example to, why make it? I could say "I'd love to go BASE jumping without a parachute!" too--the analogy isn't perfect at every level, but it's in the same spirit as the seatbelt one: refusing to take easy, obvious precautions to protect yourself in dangerous situations. But it's also fucking ridiculous to make that comparison.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 10:01 PM
1

Asking how drunk a person is implies that if they hadn't been drunk, they wouldn't have been raped, and therefore that their choices led to the rape. That simple. If I got mugged people might first ask what I was doing in so and so bad area at 4am. That doesn't mean they don't sympathize with me. It doesn't mean that they are blaming me. So if you're going to someone, beaten, bloody, and terrified, tell them what happened, and their first response is "well what were you even doing in that part o…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:56 PM
2

Fair enough. I just think that having girls do "boy jobs" and boys do "girl jobs" doesn't actually change the way people see those jobs. Sexism is about the judgement a man faces when he tells his friends that he doesn't do the taxes for his family, about how movies with a mostly-female cast have to boast that it's a "girl-power" film. It's in expectations where the problems lie.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:47 PM
1

I think rape should be assessed by the damage it does to the victim, not by the intent of the rapist. Manslaughter is designed to be used in cases where a death was someone's fault, but they didn't intend to kill. They didn't choose to kill. If someone fails to get consent, that's a choice they made.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:39 PM
1

okay, but in this comparison, saying a driver shouldn't go out in icy conditions is like saying a woman shouldn't go out in public because of the inherent risk of being raped. every danger in this world is preventable if you say in a locked, padded room. also not all crashes come from risky driving (most accidents happen on streets very near to the driver's home, going at relatively low speeds). not all rape comes from risky behavior.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:38 PM
1

I as a man have no rights of autonomy when it comes to reproduction, I am guilty until proven innocent in rape cases, I am generally not allowed to publicly challenge a woman, public schools have been rebuild to benefit girls at boys expense, there are no male-only collage courses and I am for all intents and purposes banned from working as a teacher. I'll give you the reproduction thing. That's fair. But you're not guilty until proven innocent in rape cases, that's not how the American legal sy…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:32 PM
1

fair enough, but to counter, i'd say part of being an adult is being able to let go of someone's past who you care for in the present. if there's no evidence to support that she's presently a "wild woman," then why does the title follow her? will she still be a "wild woman" when she's 30? 40? 70? what's the official cut-off date? it totally is his choice to leave her if he wants. there could be more factors at play in the relationship than her sexual past anyway. but part of being an adult is un…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:26 PM
2

A dick being shoved forcibly into your ass, then mouth, as you cry and beg for help to no avail as the giant man behind you laughs at your pain is the same thing as a woman sitting across from you in a court room and lying about something? sorry for being grotesque, but that's what rape is. it shouldn't be toned down.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:18 PM
1

someone once said on this sub, granted consent can be vague. denied consent is almost always very clear. do you see the difference? I do, but that's why it's important to get clear affirmative consent. rape can happen when someone isn't capable of saying no (they're unconscious, they're too scared to speak, etc etc), and mostly that's why the need for affirmative consent exists. It really isn't hard, as someone actively trying to initiate sex, to say "is this okay?" and not escalating until you …
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:17 PM
2

that being said, I really do get the spirit of the list and what the OP meant. Overall it means well and there are a lot of points I agree with. "$1 for men, $1 for women, and $2 for aliens" definitely being the one i agree with the most.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:08 PM
2

I don't think that things like "a man making dinner" or "a woman mowing the lawn" are necessarily feminist points. I totally get the equality thing, I know that's the point of the list. But I think those examples are better phrases when put into the context of expectation--feminism is "a man not expecting his wife to make dinner" and "a woman not refusing to mow the lawn because that's the man's job." Flipping gender stereotypes upside down isn't the same as equality--it's just switching the ine…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 09:06 PM
1

It's not a fate worse than death That's highly subjective, and clearly not true for many people--rape victims' risk for suicide is increased after the incident. yes it's a problem just like other illegal acts that sociopaths do anyway are a problem. Not all rapists are sociopaths. Implying they are shifts the attention away from the fact that many normal, empathetic, unsuspecting people are rapists too. But there's no way in hell that "One in Four" women are victims, or that it's not even safe t…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:57 PM
1

i'd love a better analogy. I just think this one is harmful because it compares rape to something that isn't intentional.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:39 PM
1

that's fair enough. but seat belts protect you in a very different type of situation than this nail polish would protect you. this analogy is essentially equating rape with an accident.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:38 PM
1

no, because that's stupid. but so is this analogy overall. rape isn't the same thing as a car crash. one is a crime committed by a human being on another through a series of choices, the other involves massive machines, lots of moving parts and variables, and happens in a split second without any parties making any deliberate choices.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:34 PM
3

"It is true however, that chastity belts as actual objects became more widespread in America and England by 19th-century. However they were typically used by women to prevent rape and sexual harrassment in the workplace since industrialization had placed more women in factories and offices." http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/houghtonmodern/2013/05/10/fact-or-fiction-chastity-belts/ Harvard Law ok?
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:29 PM
0

maybe i phrased that wrong. to me, justice for a crime should be focused on the victim's needs and wishes. that's why people are allowed to not press charges against others even if a crime was explicitly committed. Rape is at it's basis where one person is forced to have sex against their will. Use of force implies violence, ergo rape is a violent crime. Rape is certainly a violent crime, but not necessarily physically violent, like you said. A man who is raped by a woman does not have to be hel…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:22 PM
1

You clearly don't know anyone who's had a bad experience after being sexually assaulted. I happen to. Sympathy isn't everyone's first response. They ask how drunk the victim was, implying that the drunkenness was a polite invitation to be raped.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:16 PM
1

is rape really not a problem in your mind?
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:13 PM
1

maybe in your world people aren't shamed for being raped. but in some cultures, being the victim of rape means a woman is "unclean," no longer marriage material. depending on the ambiguity of the situation, a rape victim can even be honor-killed by a family member, and it's totally justified by traditional culture. You say it is "completely out of my control whether or not I am a victim" but that is bullocks. Obviously rape can happen to anyone, but let's not pretend as if you don't have some so…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 08:13 PM
1

are you telling me men aren't shamed for being raped?
/r/MensRights28/08/14 07:58 PM
1

not all of them. icy roads cause a lot of accidents, for instance--there isn't a single person out there who can drive perfectly on ice 100% of the time. car manufacturers send out faulty machines sometimes too. very few car crashes are intentional.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 07:57 PM
-2

If you leave your doors unlocked and wide open, you could be blamed for not making it a bit harder for the criminal to steal your stuff. People would still sympathize with you though. They'd lament the fact that we can't leave our doors open like we used to in the good old days. If you take your car, leave the doors unlocked, and the keys in the ignition you will be blamed for your car being stolen. That's not the scenario you presented originally. Either way, this doesn't equate to being bodily…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 06:41 AM
4

As a woman, not an MRA, I'd agree with Julian on most of these points. Ideally, this sort of thing is what the MRM strives for as well.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 06:07 AM
-2

The OP says he's content in the relationship. That's worth noting. It's not the same thing as somebody being continually, life-threateningly, abused. Don't treat it as such. He sounds like overall he's happy, and that the hitting is more of an annoyance than a threat. However, abuse is abuse, and if he's not okay with her "playful" hitting (it sounds like this girl sucks, hitting people isn't really playful, but whatever), then he needs to get out of the relationship. But hitting back isn't the …
/r/MensRights28/08/14 06:03 AM
4

that's not the same thing as being forcibly bodily penetrated. it's just not.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 05:38 AM
1

You would ask where are their enemies. Just stop in front of a mirror. What do you see? One of their real enemies. I don't think it has to be a MRA vs. feminist world. both sides claim to want equality; why can't we accept that both sides have valid points worth addressing?
/r/MensRights28/08/14 05:37 AM
-7

the vast majority of car crashes are accidents--it doesn't make any sense to blame people for accidents. rapes aren't accidents. someone is responsible when a rape occurs.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 05:33 AM
4

wikipedia tells me: "Such belts were historically designed for women, ostensibly for the purpose of chastity, to protect women from rape or to dissuade women and their potential sexual partners from sexual temptation." so it's a "protection" tool, or a tool to control female sexuality.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 05:25 AM
-2

why does rape have to be a crime with vicious violent intent? crimes don't have to be violent or even intentional to be harmful. many child molesters are not violent or vicious, but that doesn't mean they aren't causing lasting or significant damage. crimes, and the pursuit of justice that follows a crime, is about the victim, not the perpetrator. if someone fails to get consent before having sex with someone else, i don't care what kind of story they're telling themselves in their head about wh…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 05:16 AM
-5

but when your housed is robbed, people don't blame you for being robbed. when your car is broken into, people don't tell you that it's your fault for buying an expensive car. when you get mugged at an ATM, people don't ask you what you were wearing. when you're attacked in a bad part of town, people don't tell you it's your responsibility to not be attacked. rape victims are blamed and shamed for being raped all the time. that's what makes it distinctive from other crimes. it's not my responsibi…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 05:07 AM
1

but very rarely is murder accidental--rape can certainly happen (and often does) without the rapist meaning to do anything wrong. it's the responsibility of both people having sex to ensure their partner is okay with what's happening. this is the one place where assumption is NOT okay, because there are so many stigmas and insecurities about sex out there--and there are plenty of reasons why a victim of rape may not speak up during the act--fear, anxiety about being shamed afterward by their pee…
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:43 AM
1

you'd be surprised about how far some people will go without asking, though, without realizing the harm they're doing. a rapist can rape without saying the words "I wanna rape this person" to themselves. that's the big problem with sexual assault, it's ambiguous. the signs are to remind people (and they're targeted at men because there are more male rapists than female rapits) that they need to be careful when it comes to sex--one person's perfect night can be someone else's nightmare.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:39 AM
1

a man could put a small amount of the polish on his pinky finger or thumb and be subtle about it if he's really that concerned about the social stigmas attached to wearing nail polish as a man.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:33 AM
1

this is ridiculous. if nothing else, this sort of thing will help make the (already relatively low) use of date rape drugs as a tool for rape obsolete. what's wrong with stopping 5% (or whatever the stat of rape involving dtae-rape drugs is) of rape in its tracks? nothing wrong with helping women and men protect themselves AS WE ALSO WORK towards a way to prevent rape in the first place.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:30 AM
2

was he under the impression she hadn't had sex with anyone before meeting him or something? If she committed to him, stayed faithful to him (technically i don't know if she did this, but i feel like he would've broken up with her already if she had cheated on him), and told him she wanted a future with him, why can't he trust that? Past behavior does not dictate future behavior, despite what many people believe--there are plenty of people who went through promiscuous stages and grew out of them.
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:23 AM
1

it seems like whoever wrote the original post was pretty settled on the boyfriend though--she talks about how she discussed marriage and kids with him. isn't it possible she just went through a "wild" stage too? isn't that part of being young?
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:17 AM
1

I haven't, mostly because my experience in this thread has shown me that I'm undoubtedly going to get a lot of different answers for a lot of different reasons. Furthermore, I didn't ask this question to come to any grand conclusions about who has more rights than whom--as I said in my original post, I was really only curious about how MRAs would answer and subsequently defend their responses. I wanted to engage myself in the community here and see y'all in action, to see the ways in which MRAs …
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:09 AM
1

how do you tell the difference between accidents, aka cases of mistaken identity, and intentional false allegations?
/r/MensRights28/08/14 04:01 AM
1

I hear you. But those things aren't really that rare (endometriosis affects about 8-10% of women by most counts, and the majority of women who give birth experience some sort of tearing in need of at least sutures). And if by "preventable" you mean "choose not to have kids, and you won't face these risks," I think you're going too far. Most people, regardless of gender, want to have a reproduce at some point in their lives, and a serious downside of being a woman is facing such significant healt…
/r/MensRights26/08/14 03:27 AM
1

Are you just disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing? I can use more extreme examples--some women's menstrual issues cause them serious, lasting damage, including infertility. Endometriosis can lead to severe and chronic pelvic pain. A lot of women who give birth using modern birthing practices severely damage their vaginas, like rip them wide open. Postpartum depression can lead women to harm themselves or their child, and is a widely underdiagnosed and stigmatized issue. Maternity leave, which…
/r/MensRights25/08/14 06:45 PM
2

No it's not--it's based on people who make child porn receiving money for doing so. It doesn't matter who gives them the money, as long as they get it.
/r/MensRights25/08/14 06:06 AM
1

Okay, maybe you're right, but the point is that most people make child porn because they make money doing so. And they'd probably stop if they no longer made money for doing so.
/r/MensRights25/08/14 06:03 AM
1

the difference between rape and romance? How hot the guy is. I dunno, women can be raped by their boyfriends or husbands--people they obviously find attractive.
/r/MensRights25/08/14 05:27 AM
1

can you prove intent in those 26% of cases?
/r/MensRights25/08/14 05:21 AM
2

I don't understand, wouldn't this apply to rapists who raped men too? Why is this a gender issue? Given the fact that many rapists rape more than once in their lifetimes, isn't this a good thing?
/r/MensRights25/08/14 05:14 AM
2

Woman.
/r/MensRights25/08/14 05:09 AM
-6

A really big issue with FGM, and part of why it's such an important issue, is that it's often performed by those who are not trained medical professionals and is often done with nonsterile instruments in nonsterile environments (sometimes it's even performed with fingernails). The men referred to in this article aren't the majority--most circumcisions, at least in the US where I live, are performed by medical professionals in hospitals. I don't necessarily agree with male circumcision (though gi…
/r/MensRights25/08/14 04:46 AM
2

Most child porn, at some point during its distribution, is exchanged for money. It wouldn't make sense to do something that risky just for the sake of it, anyway.
/r/MensRights25/08/14 04:31 AM
1

Would you say the majority of MRAs insist that feminists make too big a deal of DV against women?
/r/MensRights24/08/14 11:07 PM
1

Because when you go to the police to report the crime, unless there were witnesses, it's still one party's word against the other. They definitely don't have the same level of deniability if there are witnesses, but either way, that doesn't mean more overt attacks are reported more. Just because a woman is sure a man meant to touch her inappropriately doesn't mean she's suddenly going to want to go through the process of reporting it.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 11:06 PM
1

Who's pretending women don't give men unwanted sexual attention?
/r/MensRights24/08/14 11:02 PM
0

I would say the vast majority of child pornographers are motivated by the fact that it's extremely lucrative. That's why people traffic humans, are hitmen/ hired "enforcers," etc. The risk is apparently not a big issue when the reward is high enough. That being said, I have no idea how many child pornographers are pedophiles as well--I'd imagine many of them are. But it's one thing to create child pornography to keep for yourself and another entirely to try to distribute and sell it--the latter,…
/r/MensRights24/08/14 11:01 PM
2

right? like suddenly just this wave of embezzlers, quietly singing their school song as they siphon funds away from their student center budget. I really don't see how reminding men not to rape people would accomplish anything other than offend the men who would never rape somebody anyway. Yeah, I don't think the signs do anything other than remind people of the fact that they're more vulnerable to rape in their current environment, which unto itself isn't a bad thing. But you're right, a rapist…
/r/MensRights24/08/14 10:55 PM
1

are inconveniences not downsides? not even a little, teensy bit? be reasonable.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 10:49 PM
3

People wouldn't put themselves at risk by making child porn unless they knew people would pay them to do it. If people stop paying them to do it, they'll stop.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 03:29 AM
1

But it's a downside! Also, 50 years worth of tampons isn't cheap. So finances come into play. Also giving birth hurts, that's a downside. Also lactation is really difficult for a lot of women, so that sucks. There's a lot of dumb things like that. Downsides!
/r/MensRights24/08/14 03:17 AM
1

I think in the spirit of the question, if you were to choose "female," as a straight man, you'd be a straight female who beyond all doubt loves men. I just meant that choosing "woman" wouldn't necessarily mean giving up loving women.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 03:14 AM
1

Why do they both bear the same level of responsibility if they didn't participate equally in the crime?
/r/MensRights24/08/14 03:10 AM
2

But rape is a much more common and relevant crime on college campuses than murder. I wouldn't expect them to put up signs telling people not to embezzle money, either.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 03:07 AM
1

fair enough. stats are stats, they may never be perfect. i can stop depending on that one. either way, i think we should teach everyone not to rape. because people do rape, and that's fucked up, and even without CDC stats we know that there are more male rapists than female rapists.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 03:00 AM
1

So it makes you uncomfortable that men are receiving unwanted sexual attention in public spaces? How do you feel about catcalling, then? Come on.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 02:56 AM
0

The more major acts of sexual assault like prolonged and aggressive groping or actual attempts at digital penetration were probably being mostly reported for a long time Why do you assume that's the case? I disagree. What about those events have less plausible deniability for the perpetrator? You're right though. All those stats indicate is a rise in reported incidents, it's impossible to know if it shows if sexual offenses overall are on the rise. My post should read "all the stats are showing …
/r/MensRights24/08/14 02:54 AM
1

if you respond to nothing else in my reply, respond to my point about you hearing what you want to hear in my arguments. you've claimed i've said things I haven't many times in your responses. That seems to be a major obstacle in our discussion.
/r/MensRights24/08/14 02:48 AM
1

they won't hurt, kill or rape you because you said no. I don't think men are going to hurt me because I reject them. Sometimes, yes, I feel threatened by men I reject, because they seem very upset and disturbed by my choice (I'd imagine you'd feel the same if a woman seemed overly upset by your rejection), but I understand that the vast majority of men are going to be just fine with it and walk away without thinking. Either way, the original point of me saying that was to show you that yes, men …
/r/MensRights24/08/14 02:46 AM
1

As I've said before, I've read every single comment and not once has any guy here said that they find it offensive when a woman rejects their flirting advances. Okay, that's wrong, a commenter said this in response to my suggestion that men shouldn't take all rejection personally--you can search for the phrase if you want, I copy-pasted it: "No that's pretty much regular human behaviour to take social rejection badly. As I said taking it angrily is probably a defense mechanism." Be right if you'…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 10:03 PM
1

well, if he brought little money into the relationship, why should he expect money when he leaves it? Before you say it, yes, I understand women often marry rich men and get lots of their money in divorce settlements. I happen to think that's absurd as well.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 07:12 PM
2

You're probably right that a man would've gone to jail longer for the same crime. A black person probably would've gone to jail longer for the same crime, too. As would a person of lower education. Or a person of low income. Or a person who lives in an impoverished, crime-riddled neighborhood. See what I mean?
/r/MensRights23/08/14 07:08 PM
1

I would think that most MRAs are MRAs because they think men don't have equal rights in society? But either way, I just mean others on this thread have said things like that to me, especially in reference to catcalling (they say it's just a way to try to instigate a conversation and that women shouldn't we offended by it, or act rudely towards men who do it). Obviously a failed relationship is going to effect you personally.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 05:41 AM
1

I agree, and I don't give anyone anything just because they gave me something, especially not my sexual or romantic partnership. It's good that you have the outlook you do--it's just a cheap drink, it's no big deal if the girl doesn't go home with you at the end of the night because you bought it for her. That's a mature and levelheaded way to approach the situation, at least in my humble opinion. I wish all saw it the way you do--I've had others on this thread tell me directly that a rejection …
/r/MensRights23/08/14 04:30 AM
1

That makes a lot of sense, and you're right in all your points. Just to be fair an agoraphobic woman would likely suffer issues getting pregnant too--sadly getting pregnant, as I'm sure you're aware, isn't always as simple as having unprotected sex during ovulation. She could, however, certainly go to a sperm bank and overall have a much better chance at having and raising a child on her own. I guess expense is the biggest factor in all this--technically, if the world were perfect and you had en…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 04:22 AM
-4

i understand that, but this case had nothing to do with a man's rights being infringed. it's just a woman getting off easy for a crime.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 04:05 AM
5

your statistics are misleading here. yes, there was a 56% increase in sexual offenses against males, but overall the number of sexual offenses against women is nearly 15 times that of crimes against men. all the stats are showing is that sexual offenses overall are on the rise, and that women suffer at a much higher rate than men.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 04:04 AM
-1

that's massively fucked up. she deserves prison for a very, very, long time. but is it a men's right's issue? where were men's rights being limited in this case?
/r/MensRights23/08/14 03:57 AM
0

why isn't it relevant? time doesn't make it irrelevant. murder rates from the 1990s are relatively consistent with current murder rates in the grand scheme of things. and i don't think rape whistles mean that women are always paranoid--being prepared in the somewhat unlikely case of an attack doesn't make me paranoid, it makes me…prepared. And what does paranoia have to do with teaching people not to rape? it's not paranoid to think that people should be taught not to rape. it's also victim-blam…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 03:38 AM
0

I don't think women are paranoid all the time, nor do I think they think all men are out to get them, nor do they think most men are rapists. Many rapists rape more than once, meaning there are more rape victims than rapists. I think most women do realize, however, that the vast majority of rapes are committed by men. A 1997 Bureau of Justice statistical survey said that yes, 99% of rape arrestees were male. That's not to say that number is correct--in fact, it's probably not. But far more men a…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 03:07 AM
1

Probably not if it was done in the context of a psychological study...
/r/MensRights23/08/14 03:00 AM
1

I think I'm misunderstanding you--what did you mean when you said that your problems would be able to be solved by being a woman then?
/r/MensRights23/08/14 02:58 AM
2

He ignores female rapists, which is unfair, but the point is that male choices lead to the vast majority of rapes in this country. All young men ARE potential rapists, as are all young women--he's just working with the facts that more young men go on to be rapists than young women do. What's wrong with reminding people that they have the great power to ruin someone's life--and with great power comes great responsibility?
/r/MensRights23/08/14 02:45 AM
1

I saw that post--the blurb you mentioned was talking about a man not giving up his seat for a mother and her baby, not just a woman. An importance difference to me, because, even as a woman myself, I would certainly give up my seat for a woman and her baby if it looked like she was tired and would appreciate the seat. I would also give up my seat for a man and his baby if it looked like he was tired and would appreciate my seat, though I know that's less common. I don't think twice about standin…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 02:33 AM
2

What about that means he hasn't been threatened with sexual violence? Don't victim-blame or shame, this is why sexual assaults go underreported in men.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 02:20 AM
5

I think the idea is that you don't see any PSAs out there suggesting that when men have "too much to drink" they "make bad decisions." Date rape is date rape regardless of gender, but I think the photoplasty is just trying to say that women get accused of "making a bad decision" when they get too drunk and end up being the victim of an attack, whereas the same is rarely true for men. Men suffer dual victimization after date rape for different, and no less important, reasons, but I don't think th…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 02:06 AM
1

""He was the one who was most responsible for this act," Smith said. Eric Millerberg put a hit out on his wife after she told a jury that her husband injected the girl with heroin and methamphetamine, defense attorney Michael Bouwhuis said...The night Rasmussen died, prosecutors said she helped her husband put the girl's body in their car." Not to say that that information is necessarily accurate or unbiased, but there seems to be an indication he was more proactive in the commissioning of the c…
/r/MensRights23/08/14 02:01 AM
1

Not to compete--I just mean to say that "woman" does not equal "able to have kids" either.
/r/MensRights23/08/14 01:32 AM
1

That's a really interesting perspective--you do kind of get to see what it's like to live as both genders in Second Life. I've spent some time on there as well. However, I don't know about you (and perhaps it's just the novelty of the attention that makes you react positively to it) but I get uncomfortable when men I don't know well try to buy me things (even a drink at a bar). It makes me feel like I'm supposed to give them something in return, even if the gift was unsolicited. I hate feeling l…
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:17 PM
1

Just be an unattractive, overweight girl! I promise people will be rude and ignore you.
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:12 PM
1

That makes a ton of sense. If you value self-expression through clothing, makeup, etc.., it's definitely preferable to be a woman. I happen to not value those things very much (I'm just shitty at eyeliner, okay? Dammit. Ugh.), so I didn't even consider that part of the equation. I think some women might feel strange going out and about in a three-piece suit with suspenders and a fedora or something (and would probably be called a "dyke" or something rude for doing so) but it's way more common an…
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:11 PM
1

Eh, I'm not so sure all women have "inherent value." An unattractive, obese woman? I don't think she stands much better of a chance of living an easier life than you think a man of comparable physical appearance might live. Unattractive women are women too, despite what we all like to think.
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:06 PM
1

Very good point. Women have a lot more freedom in that area, generally speaking. Important to remember though that not all women are capable of getting pregnant--medical problems, financially unable to adopt, etc.
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:04 PM
1

You could just be a kick-ass lesbian though! Food for thought
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:02 PM
1

I can think of one
/r/MensRights22/08/14 10:01 PM
1

That's kind of my point.
/r/MensRights22/08/14 09:59 PM
1

You make a really good point, it is best to be fully informed on a question and all of the ins and outs of a topic before answering a question related to it. I'll be sure to read the article you've posted--it looks like you've taken care to find an interesting and well-resesarched read--as well as the others. I really do appreciate that. That being said, I posed the question as more of a general, instinct-based inquiry. At first glance, examining our society with an (and I know this is impossibl…
/r/MensRights22/08/14 09:56 PM
1

But my fear isn't about being in the statistical majority, it's about being in the minority. I'm afraid of being attacked by someone bigger and stronger than me, because it's very unlikely I'll be able to use just my body to get myself out of the situation. That's not an irrational fear at all, and that's the one I experience when I sit across from a man twice my size. I know not all men are attackers, but I know it is more likely that a man who is bigger than me will do harm to me than a man or…
/r/MensRights22/08/14 09:41 PM
1

You started this by saying women ought to have a right to not be subjected to unwanted sexual attention. Have you changed your mind? I have not changed my mind. I just don't think unwanted sexual attention is romantic. It's closely related. A lot of it is trying to start a relationship Then why have I never been asked for my name? Why haven't I been asked what I do for a living? Those are reasonable questions to ask someone you're trying to start a relationship with. Getting a gut reaction from …
/r/MensRights22/08/14 08:38 PM
1

I'm a little confused by your post. Do you mean that drugs (like alcohol) play an important part in assault? Because I agree with that entirely, and it certainly evens the playing field in terms of physical size. Still, I'm still always going to feel more threatened by someone who can clearly physically overpower me than by someone who cannot. No matter what sort of drugs are involved, to me, a person of my size and stature, a large man is scarier than a small woman or a man smaller than me. I'm…
/r/MensRights22/08/14 08:23 PM
1

I just think there are a lot of instances of women marrying men "below" them in one way or another. A lot of them. In both popular culture and my own life. I know there are trends in relationships, but I also believe the bell curve isn't as wide as you seem to think it is. Also--I do understand statistics, thanks, as I've used them in many of my other comments in this thread. I'd appreciate it if you stopped trying to patronize me. It's not the first time you've done it in this conversation, or …
/r/MensRights22/08/14 08:14 PM
1

Why do I need a better reason? Would you enjoy a life where you feel threatened for a large portion of your day?
/r/MensRights22/08/14 08:03 PM
1

But as it stands, women are the ones who live with more fear (whether that fear is justified or not)--you said so yourself. Using your model, doesn't it then follow that women are easier to control? Who is trying to control them? Unless, of course, you're implying that feminists are trying to control women? If that's the case, it doesn't seem like men have a need to concern themselves with female infighting.
/r/MensRights22/08/14 08:02 PM
1

That's horrible, I don't mean to demean or insult your experience in any way. I know that size and strength isn't the ultimate factor in every assault. But it is an important one in many assaults, especially ones that end in death or massive bodily harm--statistically speaking, I'm more likely to be harmed by a man who is larger than me than one who is smaller than me. That's what sits in my mind when I meet new men, that's why I feel threatened sometimes, and that's all I meant by my post.
/r/MensRights22/08/14 07:57 PM
-1

Fair. IPV has been framed as a female problem, and perhaps it is not. It's hard to tell through stats which gender is truly more at risk, but it is clearly an issue that feminists have championed as a woman's problem. But even though I can say those things, and truly mean them, the overall feeling I've had after posting this question is that everyone in these comments is against me. Even though I've said many many times that I understand how important it is to recognize IPV as a male and female …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 06:53 AM
3

That's a really good point. I think we spend a lot of time telling women to be careful, and don't spend enough time telling men to do the same.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 06:41 AM
-2

I'm not at all saying laws and rights should be determined by how expressive people are. I'm saying psychological well-being of individuals is something worth factoring in when determining whether or not a societal truth is justified.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 06:40 AM
2

Overall, to clarify, my point is that nobody deserves a partner for any reason other than the fact that they're romantically compatible with that person. An unattractive, unaccomplished 40-year-old man should reasonably expect to marry an unattractive, unaccomplished 40-year-old woman, and she should expect the same. End of story, you're right, extremes can be put aside. I thought I was making my point clearer using those examples but I obviously was not. Just to get something out of the way, I …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 06:30 AM
1

But what generalizations and patterns matter? Obviously those exist. People tend to date within their race, and their socioeconomic class. Relationships are stressful, so people in relationships tend to harbor small grudges against their partners. There's tons of universal truths about relationships. My point is that romantic relationships are one of the few arenas in life where one would have to be, to use your word, obtuse, to look at an exception to those universal truths and be genuinely sho…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 06:11 AM
2

Alright, some work: http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/dcp171778_298904.pdf It's a limited example, it's a UK-based study, but it still holds up. If you don't feel like reading, here's the most important part in my opinion: "-Men were most likely to be killed by a friend or acquaintance (39% of all homicides) while women were most likely to be killed by a partner or ex-partner (51% of all homicides). -Women were more likely than men to have experienced domestic or sexual violence. For example, 3% of wome…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 06:03 AM
2

is it part of the feminist agenda to promote fear and paranoia among women though?
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:51 AM
2

I don't think it should be a law. I said above that we cannot legislate that. Do you really think that we, as a species, should not try to be decent to one another in a very general level? I try to be respectful to people in all settings, and I think that it is my right as a human being to demand that standard of respect from my fellow human beings. I understand, again, that we cannot have the "mean police" running around arresting people for being rude--all I mean here is that we should hold ea…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:49 AM
0

Calm down! I'm not an asshole. I am a small woman who is physically incapable of fighting off a 6 foot tall, 180 pound man. I'm allowed to feel threatened. I don't really care how often you tell me that women can threaten men too. I'm not saying they don't. I'm saying in an instant, a man who I'm speaking to face-to-face can put his hands around my throat and choke me out where I can absolutely not do the same thing to most men successfully. A man is much more likely to disarm me if I have a wea…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:35 AM
2

Fair enough. But how many women die at the hands of an intimate partner versus men? We can see that in murder statistics. Spoiler alert: a lot more women die than men.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:25 AM
-3

My psychological well-being is not irrelevant. Maybe to you it is, but it is not to me or my loved ones. Put yourself in the place of a person, not just an abstract "woman."
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:24 AM
2

I don't really think of my friends as human shields, nor do I think they think of themselves that way. Many offer to walk me to my car at night. I don't care what I'm biologically predisposed to--it doesn't have any practical impact on my character. I am not my chromosomes, and neither are you. And do you really not acknowledge the fact that I have been raised to be hyper-aware and feel like I am in danger is a problem? Regardless of whether or not it is justified, I think teaching women to be c…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:22 AM
-2

What system, exactly, are you talking about? What two relationships have you had that are actually the same thing upon real scrutiny? Every single relationship with every single human you know is nuanced and different, even with the "stock" characters in your life like co-workers. The same is true for romantic relationships. Looking at women, anyway, as a giant group like you do above--"what women actually do"--is absurd. They're human beings, theres no one thing that I do or respond to romantic…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:16 AM
0

Please take me at my word that I'm not trying to target you at all. I mean absolutely no offense towards people who have done nothing but reply to me in earnest--I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was insulting you personally. To your point, it's just an issue of a phenomenon I think permeates our culture. If you have a moment, David Wong describes it more eloquently than me here in point #5 http://www.cracked.com/article_19785_5-ways-modern-men-are-trained-to-hate-women.html If you don't want …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 05:11 AM
0

And I don't want to hear you bitch about how sometimes people are rude to you because you don't have any real problems since you live such a privileged life. Now what? Well then don't answer my question on reddit! But you chose to come here, inviting my "bitching" willfully into your world. You know that reddit is a place where people talk and bitch and that's what it's meant for. Streets are meant for walking and transportation, not sexual harassment. I never invited an old man telling me to su…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:57 AM
0

Fair point. For what it's worth, I think the standards for rape and rape investigations are generally terrible (for both male and female victims--envelopment not being in the definition is a joke, it's absurd to think a woman cannot rape a man). However I disagree on the consent issue, I think we can't ever really have too much consent--I know it leads to muddled stories, but if the alternative is lowering them you're asking for more rape and I don't think anyone is on board with that. That bein…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:28 AM
-1

But it's happened to me many, many times. On this comment thread. You can look if you want, I say an ungodly amount of times that I think the issue of DV against men is important. But every time I don't specify that in a post regarding DV, someone replies with a comment along the lines of "but men suffer form DV too! How are you not acknowledging that!", listing some statistics, and implying heavily that I'm biased towards women. Without fail.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:22 AM
1

I said I didn't want to make a bullet list rebuttal for a reason. We can throw stats at each other all day long, showing each other all the probably-biased and probably-skewed numbers we want. The winner of that fight would come down to what societal issues we each value, and we clearly value different things, so we wouldn't get anywhere. So I'm not going to waste my time linking to studies and articles and websites about rape statistics. So please drop that part of the conversation, it doesn't …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:17 AM
-2

Not being called a slut for having sex with who I want to have sex with? Yes, that's a perk to me. I thought the negative was implied--it's a pretty common example, the "player" vs. "hoe" thing. And I think you're in the minority there, I know a lot of guys who congratulate each other on having lots of sex with lots of different girls.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:10 AM
1

Explain to me why I don't feel safe walking to my car at night, then. But I do if I'm walking with a male friend. I think you overestimate safety here, and to me, that's by far the most important issue.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:09 AM
-1

That's true. But I think seeking romantic partners is one of the few areas in life where it's completely unjustified to generalize in anyway. The weirdest, most mismatched couples ever can fall in love and get married.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:08 AM
2

Okay, but I'm sorry, if you're an average guy in your 40s who "does not have much in accomplishments"…where is the personal responsibility there? There are extremely unattractive men who are extremely successful. A man who is unattractive, unaccomplished, and has little in the way of money….what about him makes you think he deserves a rich wife? Why does he deserve a rich husband, for that matter, if he's gay? Why does an across-the-board unattractive person think it's unfair that they're not ma…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 04:05 AM
1

Thanks for the position switch, I respect a guy who can admit when he skims a bit (we all do it…). Anyway, yeah, but my (I should clarify I no longer work for this man) ex-boss has been at the company for 9 years and as far as I'm aware, there's never been a complaint against him. So it would be my word against his, most likely--and I think this is another area where MRAs are a little shortsighted--and that shit still matters. I know people say accusations ruin mens careers, and they do, but a l…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 03:58 AM
3

I instigated the relationship I had with my very first boyfriend. And I've tried instigating relationships since then, and been rejected! I know it sucks, I know it's shit work, and I know it's unfair that that is always expected of men. But I don't think romantic dynamics are an issue of rights--it's a societal issue, sure, but when men bemoan having to make the first move they're getting away from more important points and issues. Kinda like what's happening here. Either way, is street harassm…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 03:33 AM
2

I just struggle to find instances of educated feminists actually saying domestic violence is a "women's only issue" and that they don't think male victims deserve attention. Some nutcases might, sure, but I don't think they should be the ones we measure feminism by. If you could link to something supporting your statement, though, I'll eat my words. I will say more men are not believe or shamed when they come forward with stories of DV. Would you agree or disagree? I would agree! But again, not …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 03:22 AM
3

You're right, I think most people here are informed and have important things to say. It just gets me when people assume I'm being negative by omission--just because I support one thing, doesn't mean I don't support another. If people could just give others the benefit of the doubt I think we'd all be happy campers. Absolutely! I like this approach. We should channel our very ~energetic~ disagreements towards something we can agree on. If all the infighting and MRA vs feminist debate were focuse…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 03:13 AM
2

Okay, but honestly, I haven't heard a single one of my female friends ever speak about a reluctance to "marry down." In reference to my social circles, you're the one characterizing a group by its minority behavior.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 03:07 AM
-1

Fair enough. But I guess because we were talking about an individual scenario, I thought this individual had a chance of becoming part of the exception to that very generalized rule. In theory, Punch_in_the_nuggets could absolutely find a woman who is rich to marry. Is it likely? Maybe not. But it could happen. Maybe he would need to put in a lot of work to find a woman like that, but hey.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 03:05 AM
2

the right to simple human respect from strangers with regard to my body. we cannot legislate this, I know, free speech. I guess I'm just asking everyone to be respectful to one another, while pointing out that men are disproportionalty disrespectful to women in many settings. And before you say it, yeah, I know women can be mean to guys who ask them out. Women can be disrespectful too. I know.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:58 AM
1

That's interesting. To me, it's always just kind of creepy to hear unsolicited sexual advances. But you're right, some women and many men are okay with it. I guess I just think people should err on the side of caution in that particular reason. And oh, I know! I've pursued, and been rejected. It sucks. I think men and women should be on the same plane in that area too--one of the reasons I don't mind texting a guy first or things of that ilk. Men are asked to pursue, even though its equally exci…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:54 AM
-3

I'm telling you I don't want to hear an old man tell me to suck his dick when I walk to work. That's all I'm saying. I'm asking for societal change, a movement of people realizing they should be decent to other human beings on a purely human level, not legislation. I defend to the death your right to say you want me to suck your dick, but I hope you have the decency to not say it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_pay_gap It's not a personal problem. It's a gender problem. I have many female f…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:51 AM
0

If you want to smile and say "hello," go ahead! That's polite. Talking about my genitals is not polite.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:36 AM
-1

Okay, I'll take away all my grand statements and all my claims of fact and statistics. What is true, though, is that MRAs see a woman trying to stop domestic violence against women, and assume without thinking that she would not do the same for men. I don't want anyone, ever, to be beaten by a loved one (or anyone for that matter). I speak out about it happening to women because in my life, I know and know of vastly more women than men who are victims of IPV. That's why the word "woman" is attac…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:35 AM
1

Women are not proportionally represented in the US Congress to the number of women in the United States. Congress, in other words, is a lot of men making decisions that affect women's lives in ways that are uniquely female, like abortion and birth control pills, without understanding what it is like to be a female.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:29 AM
2

In fact it doesn't seem like you have much of an idea of what is important in life either. Take it down a notch. I'm expressing opinions on gender issues here, you don't need to start attacking my values as a human. I use street talk and DV because they're easy examples, things most people are familiar with. I'm trying to include rather than exclude people in the discussion. And look, obviously I don't know what men go through, as I am a woman. I haven't claimed to. I'm asking reddit to play thi…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:28 AM
1

I don't have a right to feel safe? Then why do I have the right to own a gun? It's not because I have the right to murder people, or shoot it off whenever I want. It's so I have the right to feel like I can defend myself. There's a lot of laws about gun ownership, and the vast majority of the defenses for those laws are because legislators agree that people have the right to feel safe in their own homes. Feelings absolutely play a role in legislation. In what ways are women a lot safer than men?
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:20 AM
-2

The vast majority of your male peers will commend you for sleeping with multiple partners in a relatively short space of time.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:18 AM
1

Okay, but again, you're nitpicking my bullet point thing here. Address the last part of my comment as well. I'll repeat it for clarity: "I just want to understand why, as a female--and to use your point, I should be biased toward being a female, I cannot realistically understand what it means to be male--my answer to this question, is, in a heartbeat, "male.""
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:16 AM
4

I think you're generalizing rich women here. I'm relatively well off and wouldn't care if I married a man who was "below" me in some societal way--I want to marry a man I love.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:14 AM
1

Maybe we do. The point is, if you marry a rich woman, the most you would face is some acquaintances, maybe, thinking less of you. But you would be well off, comfortable, and wouldn't have to worry so much. Worth the occasional snicker?
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:14 AM
2

Why is that?
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:11 AM
1

No, I understand that. I'm not trying to take that context away. Men are definitely more likely to be victims of violence. It's 100% your assumption that I'm trying to hide that--if I was, I would've just omitted the word "all." I thought about that when I posted. My point is that 1 in 5 women who suffer physical violence suffer it at the hands of a male intimate partner. And you're ignoring that fact, and all of the connotations and implications of it, because you're too busy jumping down my th…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:09 AM
1

Read the rest of my post before laughing. Don't tell me you'd be laughing if you were in the room with me when my boss had an erection while talking about the tightness of my clothes. That fucking sucked. Why isn't that important? I'm lucky it didn't escalate. A lot of "first world" girls aren't so lucky. Some bosses rape young girls when they're alone in offices with them. I understand that people aren't going to take me seriously all the time--I'm not a genius, I don't know everything, I shoul…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 02:02 AM
1

It could just be a work issue, that's very true. I'd be the last to imply that my ideas deserve undivided attention at all times. I'm happy to have my bad ideas tossed to the side--but if it's because they're bad ideas, not if it's because they're just ideas coming from a woman my boss will assume are bad. I would love to be cast aside for my stupidity, if I'm being stupid--how else will I learn to not be stupid?? Sadly I know a lot of these things are tied to my gender. I've come into new workp…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:52 AM
-3

The right to wear a low-cut shirt and not be told to cover up. The right to breastfeed my hungry child in public without being told I'm being inappropriate. The right to walk down the street and not be told that a stranger wants to see my genitals or wants me to put my mouth on his genitals. The right to earn as much as my identically-qualified, identically-titled colleague who does the same job as me. The right to be listened to by my boss for my ideas, without having to filter them through a m…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:42 AM
5

An MRA getting angry with a woman who says women are at higher risk for domestic violence. In my experience, most MRAs jump to the conclusion that, in saying that, a woman is also saying that domestic violence is not an issue for men. That's happened to me several times in this comment section, actually--I'll say that women are more at-risk for intimate partner violence (an absolute fact), and men assume I'm putting down male victims of partner violence. I'm not at all. I'm just saying women are…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:33 AM
0

Agreed, overall. In an ideal world, as I've posted elsewhere in these comments, though I phrased it differently, the answer to this question would be "why does it matter what gender I am? It makes no societal difference." I just think a lot of MRAs lose sight of what a lot of feminists aim to do--promote women's rights, because as a whole women are at a pretty tangible societal disadvantage and are underrepresented in a lot of important areas--because they assume all feminists are against men's …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:29 AM
1

I'm asking them to practice a thought experiment! Aka tossing aside those things and doing their best to put themselves in the place of a modern women in western society. That's why I said it was a thought experiment...
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:22 AM
0

I do not believe I have ever heard an MRA pushing women down for fighting for their rights either. Okay, but what does it mean when an MRA pushes down a feminist for being outspoken about his or her desire to see women be able to walk down the street without being sexually harassed by passerby? That's the feminist fighting for a woman's right to feel safe in a public space.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:17 AM
0

It's easy to say that when you list a bunch of points about why it's worse off to be a man though. I could create a bullet point list about all the reasons it's objectively worse to be a woman in contemporary Western society, too (I could list sexual assault stats and wage stats and physical appearance/behavioral expectancies and all that good stuff feminists like to throw out there)--but arguing about which of my bullets beat your bullets and vice versa would have us talking all day. I just wan…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:13 AM
-1

Why can't you just marry a rich woman and do all those same things? I know traditionally men are looked down on for being financially dependent on their wives, but I know lots of men who are your age whose wives are the breadwinners--and they're well-respected. It's all in how you hold yourself.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:07 AM
1

That's a really good point. Men have historically been asked, either via a military draft or societal pressure to join the army, to risk their lives for political ideas they have little to no stake in. That being said, wartime is transient. In the US, at least, there has never been a period of longer than (probably, I'm not totally sure of my numbers here) 5 or so years where there's been an active draft. Peacetime or wartime in which service people were voluntary is in the vast majority. Plus, …
/r/MensRights21/08/14 01:04 AM
2

I mean, gender issues certainly exist--if they didn't, there wouldn't be the MRM or feminism. Where are you finding these stats? I've never seen anything saying more men than women are raped in the US. I just found a stat online saying 9 out of every 10 reported rape victims in 2003 were female--I understand that non reported rapes are still rapes, but you can't make sweeping claims based off information that isn't in reported existence. I know 40% of domestic violence victims are men. I also kn…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:44 AM
-2

I think they'd all, of course, decide to be in the dominant strata of society. Who wouldn't? But that's kind of my point. People would answer "male" to this question because they're the dominant strata of society in this context. I don't need to post to r/feminism. I know what everyone would say. Half would choose male to make a point and half would choose female because #girlpower (among other reasons). No need to complicate the discussion further.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:35 AM
1

I agree! That's kind of my point. I want people to consider how pervasive one's gender is to the world around them. Not to discount the other factors you point out--I'm just highlighting the fact that modern_rabbit seemed to quickly assume he could keep his personality and circumstances despite his gender.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:32 AM
3

Fair enough. Maybe my question was too limiting--I was simply trying to avoid people getting caught up in semantics and hypotheticals in their responses. I do contend that many men would find being a woman offensive, though--this coming from the fact that society actively demeans men for doing stereotypically "female" things (sewing, dancing, even wearing pink). This is a dumb example, but most men I know would be pretty disgusted at the idea of getting their period every month. And you're right…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:29 AM
1

I hear you, and I agree for the most part--I don't think feminism as a whole is a coherent movement, I think a lot of "feminists" don't fully understand the complexities of the arguments they claim to support. That's part of the reason why I don't identify myself as a feminist--I'm not, really. I'm just a woman who sees inequality in this world, the harshest of which tend to make women vulnerable and less powerful. As a generally privileged, upper class woman, however, I still do think I'm oppre…
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:20 AM
-2

2008 Bureau of Justice stats estimate that 22% of all violence against women is committed by an intimate partner; that number is 5% for men. That's just to say that if a woman has been attacked, there's just over a 1/5 chance that her male intimate partner attacked her (according to the same stats, 99% of intimate partner violence against women is committed by men), and if a man has been attacked, there's only a 1/20 chance that it was by an intimate partner.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:09 AM
0

Good point. I didn't consider that part of the equation. That being said, is that really your biggest reason for choosing male? The kind of friendships women have with each other seems like a relatively small issue in the grand scheme of gender issues to me.
/r/MensRights21/08/14 12:00 AM
4

Interesting! Not an answer I would expect. Do you mind explaining why?
/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:53 PM
5

I appreciate your swift reply as well! I think I really just want to know why many MRAs, most of whom would answer "male" to this question, still tend to demonize women fighting for their rights. If you can acknowledge that you wouldn't want to be a woman, why get angry at women who want to make the answer to this question "it doesn't matter"? This isn't to say I think you're demonizing feminists or anything in your post--quite the opposite--I'm just speaking about the tendency of the MRM as a w…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:50 PM
1

Interesting. But don't you think your personality and circumstances are influenced by your gender? For example, don't you think your sense of humor is built partially off the fact that you are a man?
/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:43 PM
6

I would definitely choose male. I know that feeds into the idea that my question is loaded, but I'll try to explain myself: I genuinely think that many of the points MRAs bring up about inherent female societal advantages (which I acknowledge definitely exist--for example, nobody can deny that a pretty young woman is, in most social situations, treated better by people than a man would be) are unequal to points feminists bring up about inherent male advantages. A lot of MRAs bring up custodial r…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:32 PM
0

I stand by my statements that women have, historically, been censored and disallowed from speaking their minds publicly. I one hundred percent believe that, to answer your question directly. I don't think it is foolish, I think it is fact. To use your own initial example back at you--voting is a form of political expression. The fact that for nearly 150 years of the existence of the United States, women could not vote, proves that women's freedom of expression was limited by society. I obviously…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:23 PM
0

Women's writing has historically been edited and censored by their male colleagues, especially when such writing concerned female sexuality. In those cases, "freedom of speech" applied to women so long as a man approved it. That is utterly true. Such censorship even exists today. Lindsey Collen, a female author, wrote a book called "The Rape of Sita." The essential message of the book was to say that women not lose their "virtue" or "purity" after being raped. The book was banned in Mauritius, w…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 11:04 PM
-6

I understand that false rape claims exist. This incident is a prime example of that, and I'm in no way denying that some women use rape claims as a weapon against men. What I'm saying is that I don't think the false report was issued because Ibbs was a male. It wasn't an attack on the male species; it was an attack on an individual who happened to be male.
/r/MensRights20/08/14 10:49 PM
-1

What exactly is being "made up" in the article though? All the historical limitations the author points out are true--inheriting property, not being able to go places unaccompanied by a male, etc. Some of these crazy limitations are still in effect, too. Women in Saudi Arabia aren't allowed to drive cars. I don't think they need to go back to the 19th century to legitimize their movement. I think you're missing the point of the article, anyway. The author is pointing out the irony of women being…
/r/MensRights20/08/14 10:39 PM
-18

So...some women are shitty people and knowingly wrongfully accuse men of sexual assault. What does this have to do with men's rights? Sounds like it was an isolated incident.
/r/MensRights20/08/14 10:07 PM
-2

But women are more likely to be sexually assaulted, sexually harassed, victims of domestic abuse, victims of human trafficking, or murdered by an intimate partner. Not really sure how you come to equate things like that to being "treated better by strangers." Even on a less extreme plane, I would definitely give up receiving a smile from the Starbucks barista if it meant my boss would stop staring at my boobs when I'm giving a presentation and then asking me to repeat myself because he wasn't li…
/r/MensRights28/05/14 01:27 AM
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