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recce22 Archive

View 0 posts and 141 comments by recce22 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yeah sure. Why waste money on cars when you can have other more enjoyable toys? I don’t need to discuss further because you probably live in a basement. 👍
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 11:34 PM
3

This is what is meant by getting “castrated” by your wife. They’re all fucking crazy and operate in auto-mode.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 05:49 AM
2

Always that “Betrayal of Trust” and/or Attachment Injury… It then becomes a downward spiral that they are too weak to pull out of.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 05:47 AM
6

Not going to lie, they feel entitled to your support and money…and that’s with every marriage! This is one of the primary reasons to why there are “Attachment Injuries.” As supporting husbands, we bust our asses for our families. But when it comes time for the much needed assistance, we then become a liability. If we can’t continue to maintain that “lifestyle,” then the cheating and betrayal occurs. IMHO - I’ve learned to never give up my power or trust another person for my well-being and life.…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/22 05:42 AM
2

Sorry you’re going through this. My best advice for you right now is to research: Attachment Injuries and how to deal with feelings of guilt/betrayal. This is serious trauma! It’s all very painful at first, but the problem with couples these days…”they don’t really put in the work!” This stuff takes a long time to heal; you’re constantly challenged with the hurt/pain and wanting to give up. The “real fix” is to reacquaint with who you are as a person, and the same for your wife. Then you can sta…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 06:18 PM
14

Had it happen to 2 friends. Both of my buddies took care of their wives and they both ended up building their careers. Right when the wives reached their goals...the switch turned off/on: (I don't need you anymore. I am an independent woman now.)
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 05:16 AM
1

Unfortunately, we are living with Cluster B Personalities on a daily basis. If you read my comment in detail…you would see my position. You don’t abandon a gravely ill human being. Cluster B people don’t have empathy for others. Despite what his wife did to him, she’s already suffering. You assume way too much! I’m far from being one those disordered personalities.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/22 04:24 AM
3

Women just seem to struggle with contentment and will often just want "more." That's why I'm anti-marriage at this point. I just enjoy it for as long as it lasts. If it lasts forever, great! If not, great! Absolute truth! To add, they have this notion of entitlement and self-centeredness. From casual acquaintances to even family members, some are "bat-shit" crazy. The more that I dig into relationships and human behavior, the more I see the "brokeness."
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:30 PM
1

IMHO - It's going to take a while as you need to heal emotionally. I wouldn't rush into any relationship as you're bound to relapse and fall into another bad one. Prime example of Co-dependents relapsing and falling for manipulative partners over and over again. I've been there myself...but with time and patience, you will get to see more clearly and have stronger boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:19 PM
3

Best advice. We all tend to live with the "ideal version." Unfortunately if someone is callous enough to cheat and disregard someone's love/loyalty, then it was all an act. I could never get myself to accept this fact prior, but this is how some people truly live - callousness, selfishness and total disregard for another human being.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:08 PM
1

In life, no one owes anyone...anything. However, with that said... here's my question for you. Are you still able to negotiate certain details in terms of court proceedings? My thought is that if you can negotiate in private with your Lawyer, then it doesn't hurt to help her out since she's very ill. Yes, she's delusional - gaslights and highly manipulative - but she's still a human being and you sound like a reasonable man for feeling this way. I'm sure you don't want to live with regrets. Do w…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 07:01 PM
5

Wow, never thought India would be like that. Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 02:38 AM
4

I should have seen/accepted this a long long time ago. Would've saved me about 20-years of my life and I would be sitting on a beach with a Tiger beer!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 10:56 PM
4

You're lucky the court was able to smell the "Bullshit!" Thanks for sharing! (Trying keep my remaining "ball" as I lost the 1st one to a relationshit.) I have better chances with an IED - Improvised Explosive Device.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 10:54 PM
5

She sounds like a real Peach. Everything points to a Personality Disorder, constant projection and dumping on him. Men have more rights overseas, especially SE Asia. (I live in both East/West, but about to spend more time in SE Asia for sure.)
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 10:48 PM
4

Indeed. Has it happen to a good friend. She called the police and claimed that he physically assaulted her. The stupid insane laws will always protect women first. He got locked up and spent time in jail. It was her warning and she definitely showed her fangs!
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 03:55 PM
4

Seriously great advice. Independence is key to a fulfilling life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:58 PM
2

Most men/women are selfish and ignorant. They can’t see beyond themselves. Google “self awareness,” and you’ll be disappointed to discover that only 15% of the population is self aware. For the ones that actually do care to make a difference, you will find yourself in lonely company.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:09 PM
3

Be careful with other countries in SE Asia. I know from personal experience. The worst part about those women: “They are ignorant and have limited experience, yet they think they are God’s Gift to humanity.” IMHO - Women are crazy in general, the minute they start making money…or become independent.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 01:31 AM
1

Totally agree. Sometimes you just have to go for it and see what happens. Most guys think they have to be a certain way to gain a women’s respect or attention. (You’re in for a rude awakening if you’re trying for the Alpha Male bullshit). If you don’t have the mental game, you’ll get steamrolled.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 05:55 PM
1

I'm actually trying to help people...because it didn't work for me the first time. I can even agree that Marriage is overrated. I've been through the pain & suffering. But part of truly healing is being able to give back and to live an authentic life. This is why I post on r/Divroce_Men .
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 10:24 PM
1

Honesty is the best policy! Why bother if you can’t be yourself? If you can’t be yourself, then you’re not ready and you have some personal work to do. Women can sense it very quickly!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 09:52 PM
1

Why do I have to be ashamed of being married to bad ass woman? I got her didn’t I?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 09:42 PM
1

I’ll take the Pepsi Challenge with you any day my friend…(You don’t even know what I currently have for my wife.) The point of it all is about being authentic and being yourself. There is no such thing as a wrong approach if you are “yourself.”
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 09:39 PM
1

Unless you’re a celebrity, we all have this problem - no one is an expert and rejection is part of the game. With that said, “Honesty is the best policy…”. I have women indirectly asking me out in very clever ways before. But as a man, I see no shame in being polite and direct. IMHO - It’s how you frame it and deliver it: “You’re an incredible person so I bet every guy is dying to ask you out…”. Determine her response and go from there? I’m no expert but I think you already did the leg work to g…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 08:48 PM
1

Yes, and we have all lived it once. Wait until the Halloween Broom 🧹 comes out of the closet… 🧙, followed by the cobwebs, skeletons and body parts a La (Jeffrey Dahmer).
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:53 AM
3

“I take her 💵 when I’m in need…. I’m a Gold Digger…way over town, that digs on her…” (…Kanye rhythm/beats section) “I ain’t messing with no…Broke, Broke…”
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:45 AM
2

Brother, remember to never reveal your intentions. Best excuse is to say is: “It didn’t work out well for me the 1st time, so this time I want to be sure.” Whether it’s FWB or LTR…. 😉
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 06:40 AM
5

IMHO - Marriage is extremely overrated as you're dealing with a completely separate individual - that has their own set of values and beliefs. The "lie" is believing that couples will continue to coexist with mutual respect and compromise. Unfortunately, compromise goes out the door once their is an imbalance in terms of power dynamics: mental, emotional, financial, social status, etc. We all make the same mistake of looking through "rose-colored glasses" during the courtship. Most couples even …
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 11:46 PM
2

She’s crazy! I suggest you start recording and documenting interactions because she will lie to destroy your life. You’re in more danger than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 06:00 PM
3

It’s going to take awhile for us to get over. I’ve read on many posts/articles that essentially our entire core values were ripped out, destroyed. Sometimes, we cannot forget the trauma ever because it’s a very serious “Attachment Injury.” It’s very painful as we trusted and relied on our partners for support. But it never happened…it’s deep betrayal! IMHO - The only way to process this is to fully understand what happened and it was a lesson taught by a seriously broken individual. I still expe…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 04:55 AM
1

Supposedly Borderlines can do better with therapy, but it requires a lot of work and commitment. Narcissists on the other hand have not done well with recovery. In fact, most experts have no real data of any successful results. They can improve but will resort to their ways once triggered or stressed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 09:29 PM
3

You can’t as they don’t see life the way you do.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 09:23 PM
1

Already making huge contributions! 👍. You’re a good man!
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 09:21 PM
2

Don’t be afraid to reach out if you have any questions! It’s one of the toughest life experiences that anyone has to go through. There are really good people who are victims because of their good nature…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 09:20 PM
3

Absolutely. It almost killed me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 09:15 PM
9

OMG... No such thing as "simping" hard. We all did! (We all wanted to love and support them.) Gaslighting, manipulations, ultimatums, callousness and emotional control...blaming. Trust me, you'll end up in an Asylum if you continue this path. 100% Cluster B. I listen to the soothing words of Dr. Ramani and Dr. Les Carter.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 08:43 AM
6

Sorry you have to experience this. IMHO - If you can recognize what’s taking place, you’re on your way to healing and a better life. I had to spend some time in Hell myself…so I just hope to help others along this journey. Thank you for sharing your experience because it can help save someone in their darkest moments. Marriage is highly overrated to be honest! Continue to live your authentic life and great things will come. IMHO - No sane person wants to hurt someone they love. If you’re self-aw…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 07:43 AM
22

Everything points to a “Personality Disorder,” Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. I never thought such mental disorders exist, but they do! Just look at Johnny Depp & Amber Heard. You can also look up Jodi Arias. It’s very common for disordered people to enact a “smear campaign” against you. It’s the same song and dance over and over for them. Healthy adults don’t relish the opportunity to hurt others. It’s a big waste of time and energy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 05:37 AM
6

Attorneys help you navigate through the complex laws. I know they can be useless, but during the filings and negotiations, she can make your life much worse. Man, that’s tough that she’s squeezing for spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 02:17 AM
17

This is also true outside of the US. There are more disordered people than reported and we’re just beginning to see it. I was overseas just recently and it’s cutthroat despite what you see at first. The “future faking” is unmatched as poorer countries have people competing for a “meal ticket.” My best advice is to try and learn to accept the realities and navigate to your advantage. This is how it works. There are good people but they are far and few. Remember what Q said to 007: “Always have an…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 03:53 PM
7

No lie, that stress is a MF. I’m going through it myself and it just destroys your well-being!
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 08:03 PM
5

I’m curious as well…. We all know the Cali - 50% Discount for Divorces… Let’s say you resign and are no longer working, all assets/passive income equally split, how can the ex-wife claim alimony? (Both partners will have an equal comfortable life after the divorce…) It’s not like she’s desperate to receive financial help. On the health issue, man that is rough. Take care of that health to enjoy the Golden Years. Depending on your lifestyle, Southeast Asia, South America, Cayman and the Virgin Is…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 08:02 PM
3

Very interesting…. Does it involve living together for more than 3 years? My suggestion is to not let him/her move in. Don’t let your partner use your address for anything, i.e mail, shipments, etc. It sounds crude, but I’ve seen this question before in the US. I remember a post where someone said to avoid any long term stay over or support. Not sure how the government can force the status or enforce a time mandate on a relationship. For example, couples can have unstable relationships for many …
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 01:25 AM
6

People often refuse to believe the system is rigged… Unless the merger/acquisition is of equal value/contribution, it’s a losing proposition. There’s no intrinsic value in the “packaging.” It’s absurd how we keep falling for the oldest trick in the book: “half-naked and glamour shots.” We all know how much they spend at Sephora on beauty products. You must have the discipline to avoid those “Bouncing Betty” land mines. I lost one “ball” too many…only one left for sailing into the sunset.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 06:07 PM
5

Great comment! I didn’t dare say it at first, but it sure is gaslighting and manipulation. All the red flags 🚩 of a Cluster-B: physical, mental, emotional and verbal abuse. ✔️.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 09:18 PM
1

I had the same problems/sentiments to someone who I really cared about. Although it wasn’t a marriage, I walked away peacefully and took all the shit she gave. However, some people are so broken to the point where they can’t see beyond themselves…. No matter how much love and energy you put into the relationship, they are condescending and treat others with contempt/indifference. Best to walk away without looking back and missing toxic relationships. It will kill you!
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:43 PM
5

This is real advice!
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 10:38 PM
2

You don’t have to do anything right away because what you have built during your marriage will be split in half. At this point, I would talk to a Divorce Attorney because each US State has their own laws. You can also wait until she gets a real job to determine if she has to pay you alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:46 AM
3

Going to be honest with you. What do you think is going to happen once she’s done with Medical School? You have a gambling addiction and what you’ve earned/built will be 50% her’s. Not sure what recourse you will have, but she’ll be gainfully employed and long gone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:04 AM
2

Only “time” will reveal the true nature of a person… Unfortunately, we find out too late. Be smart and vigilant because it’s never worth losing everything over some cheap fake imitation good. Us men fall too easily for the packaging!
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 03:50 AM
1

Why even bother? It’s her choice…and if she cheated, it goes to show how valuable of a person she is. What you need to prepare is the “chainsaw” to cut everything in half.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 05:21 AM
-1

R8 V-10 and my 2nd car is Model 3 Performance. Now if he’s driving an NSX, then I would say he has good taste.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 10:04 AM
13

Damn, SoCal. In fact all of California is expensive on a 2K income. I would definitely let the Attorney know as well as the courts so they can formally proceed in processing the hardship. I was responding to this punk kid shooting off his mouth because he’s a Software Engineer and his wife is a nurse. He spoke badly about the homeless crisis. I laid the hammer down on his ass and told him: “Kid, you’re 1 lay-off away from a divorce or if she decides that her life is better with Fabio - Gym Train…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 02:30 PM
5

In my utmost humble opinion…. I’m exceedingly polite to people I do not care for. “Keep your fiends close, but you keep your enemies even closer!” - Sun Tzu Sometimes it’s done to protect the people we love…as in protecting your interests/peace.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 02:21 AM
2

Amen!
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:35 PM
9

I hate to admit it, but I was warned of this… In fact, I was previously warned again before moving overseas where the “game” is even more brutal. You can’t escape the true brokenness of men/women. The proper discipline is to avoid being the “Life Line” they use.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:33 PM
10

Better do research and evaluate her traits; tantrums/emotional instability/manipulation, all points to severe childhood issues and unprocessed trauma. IMHO - You may be looking at Personality Disorder(s).
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:27 PM
5

I totally agree with you and we’re on the same page! Unfortunately, most women want security/the ring. Otherwise, they will walk. We all face a double-edged sword. They want their cake and eat it too! They love to be catered to and want their independence. They sell their looks/sexuality shamelessly and expect to be worshipped. How else is the Fashion & Cosmetics World able to generate “hundreds of billions in USD?” (Just Google the numbers…) Some of us can recognize the BS and play the game as …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:18 PM
4

Definitely so!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 02:28 AM
4

That’s how the Navy Seal Candidates approach it in BUDs Training. Focus on the task at hand despite what is happening and could happen. Discipline during the most treacherous part of our lives…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 10:21 PM
7

I feel you on that. Another friend of mine just visited the ICU 2 nights ago for a heart-attack. He’s in shape and coaching basketball prior. His job on the other hand, institutional investments, is probably what did him in. He couldn’t even text because of tubes in his arms? (Sorry, not a Doctor here.) I clearly know the feeling of nothing left in the tank. We struggle all our lives only to be exhausted mentally and physically…. Take care of your health and focus on 1 day at a time. Don’t be di…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 04:06 PM
5

Dang…sorry to hear that. Just glad you have moved forward. Best wishes and stay healthy!
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 03:56 PM
21

Indeed, I’ve seen those numbers before. Got a buddy who was paying $6-8K range. She was a stay at home mom for 8 years. I asked him how do they expect you live once you start paying? He said: “I can restart after the kids turn 18…”. He also paid her Attorney fees somewhere north of $35K. (“Can you believe it, I’m suing myself!”)
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 12:53 PM
1

I honestly don’t think on average, that men will take her for everything. In fact, most of the comments I read are men preferring not to ask for alimony and other assets. Most are willing to just walk away and not put up a fight. Here’s the problem…. Some men/women have personality issues regarding cheating and painting their Exes out to be Psychotic via “gaslighting” or playing the victim. When a woman calls in for a domestic abuse complaint, the man is often the subject of scrutiny. It is hard…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 06:31 PM
2

You saw her disorder… (Exactly what I was thinking and you said it better!)
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 04:17 PM
3

To be honest, only a Lawyer can provide accurate assessments, especially with regards to alimony. The court decides what is a reasonable lifestyle. But the good news is you have this option.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 03:14 PM
3

IMHO - (I’m far from being divorced or bitter by all means. I write to help people, especially in unfair situations…) Women do take men to the cleaners! There’s nothing left if she has decided to leave. Take what is rightly yours as you have earned it. Once you deny yourself that valuable option/privilege, then it’s completely gone! You’re piecing your life back together and you’re going to need all the help you can get…. She’s already moved on with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 02:46 PM
4

IMHO - Just be BF/GF, no co-habitation. A wiseman once taught me: “In the early days, marriage is to start a family and make her an honest woman.” Now that we’re all older and a bit wiser, it’s really a customary tradition. By all means…if you’re into it. I just don’t see the significance once you’ve been through it. If you’re already approaching the 2nd-Half and have meaningful assets, then it’s time to enjoy all the hard work. She will always stick by you if she has good intentions. Women want…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 02:32 PM
13

Truth! That’s why I have that “smirk” when the young ones think they know better. No such thing as a “perfect” marriage. (I look like that Green Beret drinking at the bar in the Deer Hunter: “Fuck It!”) Put in the work and continue to live to the fullest!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 07:36 PM
1

Sent you a Private Message.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 10:56 PM
2

You need to take care of that health… Check yourself in for Mental Health…I know it may sound stupid, but my friend did it. He was not well during his divorce. You also have ongoing health issues and you are not healthy enough to work. No one is going to even care if you suddenly drop… Check yourself in and get the help you need. Then you can later revisit your future plans. You have assets, and I would recommend spending your new life overseas - cheap beers and beautiful women abound.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 10:52 PM
1

Can’t lower your financial position as the lawyers will want to see pay history and bank statements. Per government guidelines, it’s not easy to hide money…or else everyone would be doing it. Also, if the OP is the bread winner, then he must pay alimony if the court decides.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 04:14 AM
1

See it happen to a buddy. We were dropping his kids off at his house that he pays for, and the bf is banging the wife upstairs. You can definitely see the “kill mode” switch get activated. Women are crazy…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 04:09 AM
6

Won’t do much! You will have to submit paystubs and tax returns. Also, it depends where you live and you may be stuck with paying alimony. If you have been the bread winner, it will be “chicken dinner” for her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 03:20 PM
2

Definitely “Narcism…”. Also, they are extremely jealous and will want to isolate you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 04:03 AM
3

So damn true!
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 11:15 PM
6

I hate to confirm but it is the same old song & dance. We live in a very selfish and entitled society. Most romances will not last through several seasons of “Friends” or the “Sopranos!” Ghosting and breaking up thru text messages nowadays; it’s a joke. No balls! Women want to date/marry rich men, and men want to date hot women with big tits & ass. It gets even trickier: modern chicks want to post nude Instagrams but expect men to respect them & their bodies. (#metoo / #equality) It’s pure bulls…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 05:08 PM
4

My best advice for now is to try and stick it out for your son. He won’t have much of a normal childhood if both you and your wife neglect him. Look up “Early Childhood Development” and “Attachment Theory…” Without a safe and nurturing environment, your son may have a hard time. Now it really boils down to how much you love him and hope for him to have a normal life. Neglect is abuse and very traumatic. This contributes to Personality Disorders. Children have no way of coping as they don’t know …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 04:52 PM
13

Not one bit surprised as the wife knew the…loopholes! She certainly got a great Attorney. Women who married rich husbands do this all the time. They never remarry as the income/independence is too good… They become: “Cougars!”
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 06:36 PM
5

Trust me…if she can do what she does, it’s only a matter of time. You can’t fix “stupid.” Be prepared with the lawn chair to watch the drama unfold between them. (Believe it because I have seen this so many times!) Make sure the chair has a cup holder. That first sip will be the most refreshing ever! You’ll thank God that you’ve moved on to a better life…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 05:51 PM
5

You’re a strong man my friend. We’re all on your side! I tell remind myself all the time: “Don’t be a punk ass bitch…”. It’s to remind myself that: “I’m much better than that!” Being a real man is not about revenge, but having the discipline to live your truth/values. We don’t put up with weak people! (Resolve…)
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 04:46 PM
6

This a great community. “All is fair in love and war!” There’s a book called: “The Art of Not Giving a Fuck.” (Correct me if I’m wrong.) Gentlemen, it’s time we roll up our sleeves and do what must be done. Never ever put up with disrespect in any shape or form. I recently experienced this with a female acquaintance and I laughed in her face. They know when you mean business! It’s that simple…. Be strong my friends and continue to support the right cause.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 04:28 PM
7

Looks like it will be more than 50/50. You’ll end up having to pay alimony! Sounds like she’s a narcissist. Keep yourself and your children safe!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 08:09 PM
3

Not going to lie, so many forms of manipulation and toxic personalities out there. But it always lead back to some sad ass story. I’m waiting for: “My dog ate my paper, can you please deposit $15K first thing tomorrow?”
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 02:28 AM
1

There are many avenues to ask a question…. I do respect your views as well. Sometimes when you write from the heart, it can get misinterpreted. For example, I’m exceedingly polite to women and they think I’m hitting on them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 02:20 AM
3

I’m getting to believe that relationships are a joke that’s being played on you. Marriage is so overrated! Not having to feed someone else is a blessing. Not having to comprise is even better! Fuck no, thank you. I just tell her: “Make sure to put the bath towel in the washer when you leave!”
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 02:16 AM
3

Amen Brother! Drums are awesome and I played a little…best way to release stress! I also jam on the acoustic guitar. I’m also in the market for a Sony A7-iv for my lazy ass trip to Thailand. There are reasons for Thailand - energy, cheap beers and awesome food. I would move overseas if I could find a company that will let me work remotely with US pay. Way too damn boring here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 02:06 AM
3

Don’t feel discouraged as some things take longer than usual. Just remember that disappointments will be part of life; the magic is about rediscovering and living better each day. Right now I’m going through a stage where I find that life is very depressing regarding women. I read from others of how “transactional” relationships are and I wanted to see for myself. The reason I brought this up for you is because you will be faced with situations where some people don’t have good intentions. I was…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 01:53 AM
8

Therapy for post divorce is highly recommended and you can even get this through work - mental wellness initiatives. Therapy helps to deal with any unresolved traumas and/or trust issues. You’ll discover things you may not be aware of as we are a byproduct of our upbringing. Explore hobbies that you couldn’t afford back then - boats, flying, traveling, cooking, fashion. Essentially this will open new doors and expose you to new people. The good thing is that you are gainfully employed and still …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 09:52 PM
2

My honest suggestion for you: "Don't be too nice..." Do a split in custody as children's needs are not fixed. Women are nasty when they have moved on...no remorse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 07:01 PM
1

As most have stated, 20-years is quite long. I also work in Tech and most of us change jobs every 2 to 4 years. I must have worked for about 10 companies in the last 20 years. You make money and leverage through stock options/grants. People usually leave in year 2 or 4 after the vesting is done as most companies don't offer a stock refresh after that. Her Legal Counsel is trying to squeeze the exact earnings amount so that they can determine what's in play. At this point, it's better to be a "lo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 06:57 PM
2

Better divorce before the 10-year mark. Depends on the US State you live in, you can be stuck paying alimony for the rest of her life...after the 10-year mark. Doesn't ever look like she had gainful employment and you're stuck paying... I know about this because my friend in California, no-fault State, got the divorce finalized in year 9. He had Legal Representation and told me about this. I was floored! Your Ex will end up not working and never remarrying, while being subsidized by your hard wo…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 06:42 PM
6

You don’t want that drama! They all have skeletons… Sounds like a “Real Family Affair…”
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 11:16 PM
1

If you’re sure about it, then don’t hold back because you feel sorry for her. I’m almost certain she’s already planning things behind your back. People always go into denial when they can’t face the mirror. As you mentioned: “Mental Health” may be a factor with her. Clean break is always the best as you don’t antagonize each other to the point of a physical altercation. I had to face the most insane episode when she hid my car keys knowing I had to move the car before it gets towed for overnight…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:04 PM
2

In most cases, it can be true that a woman can move on faster. For example, she has already made plans to be without you…. It was only a matter of time before the deed is carried out. Then you have disordered individuals who never took the relationship seriously as it was never about you. They were only using you to validate or soothe their past traumas. There are some good women out there, but most of them are more strategic then men are. IMHO - Women see relationships more deeply then men do…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 07:59 PM
2

I’ll try and get that link for you…but you can find similar discussions regarding - No such thing as true/unconditional love. I have financial stability but I also spent a lot on helping my past partners in terms of support. It has always been the stigma that “‘men pays for everything” even when women start making their own money. Case in point, they won’t blink an eye buying $700/$1K shoes and throw them in the trunk. What do you think happens to fine leather in damp moisture? I’m not broke but…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 10:46 PM
1

She’s an idiot! If you can provide proof, looks like she took a fair percentage already. This is what happens when they don’t have too many brain cells.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 09:11 PM
3

Essentially I supported her goals and ambitions. Once she was able to climb, I was no longer part of her life. I became expendable. This was the same for other relationships as well. Good people base relationships on love, support, care and respect. For some damn reason, there’s a light switch that gets activated and they lose all sense of loyalty and direction. They feel great about themselves and never mind how they got there. All the fancy clothes and lifestyle they received is taken for gran…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 04:49 PM
10

I often sit and just contemplate on “why” someone you love so much can just destroy your life without remorse. And she even reassured me that she’s committed to making our relationship work even before getting married. Women are real cunts! We all learn a little too late as there’s no such thing a real promises and unconditional love from a spouse. It’s only a matter of time before they show their horns. Many people have commented the same… Had I been mentally disordered with zero empathy, I wou…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 06:13 AM
4

A close friend of mine is from CA. I helped through his divorce. If you are the bread winner like he is, essentially making all the money, you need to dissolve the marriage before the 10-year mark. If she can establish proof, you may end up paying alimony for the rest of her life or until she remarries. Here’s the kicker, she can remain single and bang all her boy-toys while earning a nice monthly support check from you. You will be subsidizing her “Playgirl” lifestyle, expensive bags, toys and …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 03:00 PM
3

Divorce is messy and brutal. Everyone will experience the “jaded faded” sleepwalking phase once in their lives. Best to reinvent or explore new hobbies that will bring you joy! We all fall into the trap of marriage and wanting to make things work. We also hope to regain that once beautiful wife/person back. Unfortunately, it may not be possible for so many reasons. The only way back is through self reliance and new discoveries.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 04:35 PM
12

“Fatties and single mothers…” You have my utmost respect for speaking the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 02:47 PM
1

Exactly!
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 05:24 PM
2

Personality Disorder...(Untreatable) Hang in there for your boys so they can grow up normal. Being around her is dangerous for all. (Let the BF jump off the bridge on his own... He just doesn't know it yet.)
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 05:23 PM
1

It's because we can see the true nature of "shit." It's exactly the same as watching these Hollywood "Movie Reboots." You leave the theater shaking your head and unfulfilled.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 05:18 PM
3

Exactly! They are so conniving, cunning and will not hesitate to laugh when they kick you to the ground. Won't even blink!
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 05:09 PM
1

I do know how you feel... Do not reveal any information or agree to anything until you speak with your Attorney. Women, naturally have the instincts to dig much deeper and play the drama game much better. (IMHO - She sounds like a handful!). What I am seeing from other people, they will take you to the cleaners without remorse. Case in point, "you're already sleeping in the basement with an air-mattress." I'm no different as I went through the same shit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 05:06 PM
1

I feel your pain... Just read a funny ass shit article on another site regarding: "Why do older folks avoid getting into relationships." The OP wrote that she believes relationships are failed investments and sunk costs, yet we continue to try. The only time it ever hits us is when we finally realize "they are failed investments." It's tragic for all the good honorable men..(our lives being ripped apart/destroyed). Being forced to deal with the financial fallout and struggling - mentally, emotio…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 04:57 PM
3

Brother, it doesn't amaze me to see how animals are less cruel than Ex-Wives.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 04:52 PM
2

Triangulation/Manipulation tactics… OP needs to adjust his beliefs: “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes…” Already serious issues going forward…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 06:23 AM
7

Actually not only Islam Women, but all women! They expect men to work hard while they enjoy their lives. They want to wear $700 shoes, while we have to wait for Black Friday for the $700 LED-TV.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 01:48 PM
7

Very true. If it was the other way around, she would take him to the cleaners…! Must accept that divorces are a mess and “the 2nd place trophy is in the ladies room.” BTW - She’s the one stashing her money!
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/22 01:40 PM
1

Here are some peanuts for you... It's called "alimony..." You better get your shit together and if you make good money, pony up and get a Divorce Lawyer. You've been warned.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/22 12:45 PM
2

Why would you feel guilty with going out to eat with a coworker, even if it’s emotional attention? Nothing wrong with flirting as long as you don’t touch. Y’all need work!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 09:28 PM
1

What do you mean by “attention?” I’m sure she got mad because you did the deed? You “triangulated” with getting another woman involved…(manipulation). How would you have felt if your wife was banging someone behind your back? Best advice is to give it some time…and be be prepared for a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 07:07 PM
1

Divorce Laws are complicated and different everywhere. Based on your information, I believe you're in England/Great Britain. Unfortunately, most divorce proceedings end up with a 50/50 split of financial assets. In my country, this means all savings, 401K, stocks/bonds, house, cars...everything. Some are entitled to alimony/spousal support; the higher earning partner pays to support his/her Ex. You also need to make sure that she's not hiding her assets. Best to seek a Divorce Attorney so that t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 05:53 PM
1

My only advice is to get this resolved before you have to pay for alimony. Like a good friend of mine who went through a divorce, he was lucky to escape from paying alimony for the rest of her life. Note: I don't know what arrangements you had in Mediation...but I would seek professional counsel as you can get stuck with a very nasty "bill." Case in point is that you're already asking about "recourse."
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 05:39 PM
2

"She has a boyfriend..." Done! She also sounds very manipulative although I do agree that your children are still fairly young. I would be careful with the financials as she can be slowly taking advantage of things. Better to chop-off the dying limb to save your entire self from necrosis. It's toxic!
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:48 PM
13

Total "double standard" for men! I'm not even saying this out of spite or bitterness. I recently had an interaction with this woman who had a laundry list for her ideal man. Yet she wants her independence and does whatever the "f" she wants. My primal caveman brain kicked in: "She's one ugly chick! Good luck with that and have a nice day!"
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:38 PM
16

You’re absolutely right! I was once an unconditionally caring and romantic man. I never thought my wife of 21-years, whom we built a fanatic life together, ended up choosing her career over family.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:09 PM
1

You speak the truth. I'm dumbfounded to see what's going on in our society.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 05:18 PM
1

I believe it's extremely hard to fully determine a person's character in a short period of time. People can say anything and do the opposite. Also, even when they have good qualities, their level of commitment can change as the novelty/excitement wears off. A person with real life experience and strong empathy will probably be the best...but those are diamonds in the rough. That's literally a Unicorn to be cherished!
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 05:13 PM
2

Unfortunately the answer is "yes." The decision to snap may have been built over time as each individual has their own "life perceptions/experiences." Although the stressors may not be directly related to you, somehow the problems become yours inadvertently. Pretty common that most people prefer not to look in the mirror and self reflect as it's too hard to accept. You will find that most people are not self-aware. Some also reach a crisis or trauma in their lives and suddenly decide to call it …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 05:06 PM
3

Marriage is very hard, even for two very successful people... The problem is...couples/people can change over the years. "Life" has a way of changing people as people cope with stressors differently. When people fail to have strong character as you mentioned with "entitlement & bad manners," you better run for your life. (This is from my personal experience in dealing with a Narcissistic/Disordered woman). You will waste a minimum of 5 years from your life. If you end up marrying one, you can wa…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 07:27 AM
10

Brother, save yourself the time and pain...move on! Your answer is clear as day, 1st paragraph. Absolutely "no mutual respect..." from her. She sounds like a Narcissist/Manipulator. Normal people don't walk out like that because there was time shared between two people. Her plans didn't work out and you suffered for a long time. Now she wants a free ticket/ride courtesy of decent loving man. People are truly messed up and you need to work on yourself before putting yourself at great risk again. …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 07:16 AM
5

Take her ass to Divorce Court. She is entitled to move out, but not empty the bank accounts. You are entitled to half of what you built together: 401K, savings, stocks and even alimony if she has higher earnings. It can get quite complicated. You may even have more claim depending on how long you were together. Marriage is so overrated and most have no idea what’s coming to them. Better think twice about that perfect beautiful bride on your wedding day. When the Kraken awakes from her slumber, d…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 09:09 PM
7

#1. Repeat after me: "Hell no! Your Ex will never have your best interest after a failed relationship..." #2. Better lawyer up to save yourself the confusion and emotional attachment. There are many financial assets to split between you both. You will lose a lot more without knowing your rights and what you're entitled during divorce proceedings/negotiations. #3. Real situation: "I have a close friend who I had to keep him from self-harm because he had to witness his wife getting banged in his h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 06:31 AM
2

All of my divorced friends recommend never to get a divorce without a lawyer. There are so many legal nuisances with each county/state. All divorces are messy, even the amicable ones.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 04:26 PM
4

You’re lucky as your marriage was not too long. Each US State has different divorce laws so it’s best to seek counsel to protect your interests. With that said and out of the way, you may only have to pay alimony for a short time. In my US State, any marriage beyond 10 years, the spouse with the higher salary may end up paying indefinitely for alimony. In your case, possible alimony pay for about 2-years. Of course with Legal Counsel, your lawyer can fight for you in terms hardship, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 05:57 AM
2

Trust me, I've seen men suffer and this is no different. We all have our own values and way of living, but each situation is unique and/or different. I know of someone who walked away with nothing and regretted horribly. Never recovered... What's left is pure resentment.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:51 PM
1

Intolerable Cruelty... (and I didn't know it was directed by the Cohen Brothers.)
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:45 PM
1

OMG...sounds like a "Personality Disorder." Believe me, I've had about "2000" hours on rumination and loss of reality due to a Narcissist. I'm finally getting my balance after 4 years of emotional Hell and Adrenal Fatigue. Normal people/adults don't pull that kind of stuff. If you don't believe me, just look at the Amber Heard Trial. Broken people are very very dangerous.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:38 PM
2

Everyone advises…get an “Attorney…” Just be happy you don’t have to pay for alimony! In some US States, you may be required to pay permanent alimony after a 10-year marriage. Of course it’s also a 50/50 split of assets. Consider yourself lucky if it’s only child support.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 04:34 AM
7

Damn, my stomach just churns on seeing how messed up she is… Crazy woman just about ruined 3 lives because she was confused about her orientation. Everyone has a right to be happy, but not at someone else’s expense. Look at this way, 11 & 8…. It won’t be long before they head on to college. Do the best to co-parent and do the best you can for yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 04:27 AM
2

Depends on the US State you reside in. I know that in my state of residence, anything beyond 10-years entitles you to receive “permanent” alimony as long as the higher earning spouse can support it… There was a movie about ex-housewives never re-marrying again and would rather just date younger guys. They receive alimony while banging their boy-toys. A divorce is never easy and your kids are the ones that suffer most. However, there are situations where the marriage just doesn’t work anymore. Fo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 04:18 AM
3

If you want to see how evil women can be, just look at the Amber Heard/Johnny Depp Trial. She's a "Stone Cold Killer!" As kind caring Gentlemen, these disordered witches will have no mercy! "If you think, you're dead...!" - Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell "All is fair in Love and War!" Better take the fight to them before they destroy you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 02:11 AM
1

100% they can not be trusted. I saw this quote in movie: "What??? I can't trust that Broad with more than $100." We just need to admit it, accept it and have the discipline to walk away in less than 10-secs. Don't care if they're broke and lost. Being a "Gentleman" does not mean you give in to abuse/manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 04:06 AM
3

You are absolutely correct my friend! Female nature is something else... So I wanted to test out some theories about finding women in a developing country. I found a decent woman with a professional career but it's all the same..."as they want their future to be taken care of." I don't care if they come from the planet "Pluto," it's all the same. My new excuse for not getting married: "I've been severely traumatized with emotional distress and have no timeline of full recovery. We can be friends…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 04:22 PM
3

Even if you’re not married, some states have common law. Essentially you’re screwed either way.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 06:01 AM
3

Darn, I wish I had read this 15-years ago. It’s all true and they have no loyalty whatsoever. The relationship neglect is killing me and I somehow hope to get past this. She admittedly said that she failed as my partner and I deserved to be happy. Thanks for the commitment lies at the altar and devastation. The only consolation prize is the big payout from her assets. But that doesn’t heal or stop the pain!
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 05:59 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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