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reclaimDad Archive

View 12 posts and 85 comments by reclaimDad on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This book continues to come up as a very good one! Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/26 01:08 AM
1

Thank you! Many guys are in the same boat. Just hoping to help a few!
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 09:59 PM
1

I feel like the fact that you’re being present, helping him live a real life, and being a stable platform for him is gonna launch him into success in his adulthood. That’s truly admirable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 03:09 AM
2

I’m so sorry, brother. I hope there’s some kind of comfort in knowing you’re not the only one.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/26 02:35 AM
8

The best advice I heard is get and stay connected with others who are further along than you, with the kind of results you want. Avoid negativity. Run from bitterness. And laser focus on your children's well-being. If you do those things, you should come out all right!
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 04:16 AM
1

Thank you! That title really captures my curiosity and comes across as validating of the mess many are living through!
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 03:34 AM
2

That's great perspective! Thanks for the addition! It highlights that these issues don't just affect the couple, they rock the world of the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/26 01:54 AM
1

That’s the main title from what I saw in the comment from @Popular-Response-573 and what I verified online. I hope it helps!
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 06:22 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 07:06 PM
1

Added to the list! Thanks!!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 06:10 PM
1

I’m all ears! I am asking not for myself, but for the group. Anything you could recommend helps!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 12:55 PM
1

TBH, I’m trying to get a list together to help visitors to this community. So, anything that you’ve used to help you navigate whatever you’re situation is (with explanations) helps!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 12:53 PM
1

What a rare and noble perspective! I'm super impressed with how you "own" the need for change. It means that no matter the outcome, you end up a better person!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 03:31 AM
1

Thanks! It seems that that book keeps coming up as a good one! Thank you for recommending it!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 03:29 AM
1

Thank you for the input! I hope these help people struggling in this challenging situation.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 03:28 AM
1

You're welcome. I am glad/hope it helped!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:33 AM
2

"Just be Dad" <--- I love this. Nothing is wrong with being Dad.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:33 AM
1

I think if you truly prioritize their [the kids'] well-being, you will be able to provide the stability they need (even with late night ice cream parties!).
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:33 AM
2

I promise I'm not spying on you. lol. I'm glad it resonated and I hope it helps.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:31 AM
2

I just hope it helps dads see that they're not alone while going through these situations.. Some feel isolated, even though the reality is that many are experiencing the same exact things!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:31 AM
1

No problem. I literally just want kids to have stability! There is so much needless mess out there. The mess does not help the kids. They just need a stable platform from which to live/learn/launch!
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 03:29 AM
3

Thank you for reading. I hope it's helpful/encouraging.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 04:19 PM
7

No problem, I am just happy to write in a way that helps. I am meeting so many hurting and hopeless people in this situation that it is truly heartbreaking. I don't think their stories get shared. They just suffer in silence, without knowing what to do, or who to reach out to. I'm glad this community exists and at least people have a place to vent, read, interact, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 04:18 PM
1

I'm so sorry that you're dealing with that brother. I recommend finding either local or online communities of people who've been through similar things as you have. This place seems like one of those. I think by communicating, you're already doing better than many, despite what it sounds like you're feeling! While you're figuring out your support/therapy needs, have you explored your hobbies. Maybe even those prior to your relationship?
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 12:58 AM
1

Bingo!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 08:41 PM
1

“Long term, big picture” 👌
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 08:41 PM
2

I don’t disagree with your perspective. I’d just add that whatever stability men want for themselves can also be a motivator to consider the stability the kids need. It might make it easier to deal/cope/thrive with the day-to-day when men are focused on being the hero for their kids, by being stable for them.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 10:29 AM
2

I keep thinking of how hard relational conflict is for the kids. Man! They need stability. So, even if high conflict situations interrupt that for men, it seems that men can “man up,” and find it in themselves to provide that stability for their kids. It pays off—immediately and also generationally. It’s kind of like the stability we provide for them ends up also stabilizing us. I’m just reflecting on all this again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 10:26 AM
1

No problem. Thanks for replying. I find that reframing in many areas helps keep things in perspective!
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 10:21 AM
1

No problem, brother! One thing to consider is asking yourself the following:what would you do if no one cared what you were doing? What is your passion? What were you made for? What are you living for? These seem like some good reflections to ponder
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 12:58 AM
1

I should add that I have personally seen the approaches I referenced work for close friends and family. I'd be interested in hearing if you have experiences that align or were different than what I've described.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 04:08 AM
1

First off, this is not legal/therapeutic/nor relational advice, just my reflections/musings: -Some of these sentiments feel "unanchored." Sort of like there is no reference point except something in the past. -What is your anchor? Why do you still "do" your day to day? How do you contribute to the world? What is unique about you? What does your mother say/think about you? What about God? What does He say/think about you? Without an anchor, it seems like a person could float around, bumping into …
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 02:54 PM
1

Whoa! 😳
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:25 PM
2

Creepy!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:24 PM
1

I hate quoting myself but I really believe, the “man who stays steady longer than the storm lasts usually changes the outcome.” Even if it does happen, staying steady for yourself and ESPECIALLY for your kids seems like it leads to the best overall outcome!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:24 PM
1

“Stay calm, strong, and composed, be patient until you can SHOW the court you are not the monster you're painted out to be.” This makes so much sense! Thanks for the valuable perspective!!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:21 PM
1

Thanks for the reply
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:20 PM
1

Thanks for replying!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 01:20 PM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:29 AM
2

Np. I am grateful there are people out there who benefit from unpopular truth! Also, thanks for sharing your story and for continuing to push forward (I've been doing some reading too. lol). It's crazy how much progress people can make when they don't quit!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:13 AM
2

Thanks! I hope you read the other half, too! I don't think the title is the most exciting one.. lol. But, the idea that gratitude can change everything is so true.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:58 AM
1

That sounds absolutely horrid. I am digging into this now and hope to write something up soon. I'd love to have you share whatever you're able to of your experience, if you don't mind me using it as an example--obviously anonymously.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:36 AM
1

😱😱😱😱
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 11:15 PM
2

“Silver bullet restraining orders”…. Whoa! 😳 that’s eerie
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 05:18 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your experience! Those routines… I’m glad to hear the kids are doing well
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 02:25 PM
3

I hope it passes quickly so you can begin to rebuild the rhythms of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 03:17 AM
1

Thank you for the reply. I’m just hopeful that the conclusions I’ve come to help others!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:38 PM
2

That’s so powerful. Reframing, and focusing instead on gratitude, is such a “game changer!” Thanks for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 07:37 PM
2

Bingo! That's exactly it!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 02:58 AM
1

"social kryptonite" <-- That is exactly it! The social cost is so high. I applaud anyone who focuses on the future and gets intentional about identity, relationships, self-development after it. Also, in some ways, I think it is a wakeup call to anyone who is married and not divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:55 PM
-3

Thanks for the response! I think AI can be a great tool for processing complex data. [edit] However, I do not believe AI should replace seeking professional help when warranted, especially in areas as sensitive as the topic of this sub reddit My personal view on AI is that it’s great for data processing, formatting aid, and many other applications. [edit]
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:53 PM
2

Thanks for sharing a contrasting perspective. I think this is an important addition to the conversation!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:51 PM
2

This seems very wise. Thanks for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:50 PM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:49 PM
0

I do offer a divorce survival course. I am actually grateful that you pointed it out. But, it's not for everyone, which is why I didn't post it here. I do think my experiences and reflections on identity formation are more appropriate to the overall group, which is why I posted that here.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:49 PM
4

"Rebuilding my life and being a great father to my wonderful kids is what's important now" <-- I love this. It's beautiful. Instead of holding onto the past, you're focusing on what you can control in the future, being there, and being a great father.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:47 PM
4

Exactly! It's not a quick road. I think recognizing the need for it is an important first step.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:43 PM
1

! ouch... or thanks... Not sure which. lol. I do not claim to be a therapist.. I highly recommend that if someone needs therapy, they get it. I just speak from experience. AI chatbots have access to a tremendous amount of information and can synthesize it at an incredible speed.. But, they can't speak from experience.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 08:42 PM
1

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's never fun. It's important to realize it is not the end. You have to stay grounded. I'm glad the post served you!
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 07:15 PM
2

Gratitude is refreshing and rare! Thanks for posting this. You're right.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 06:52 PM
5

That “bad omen” line hits harder than people realize. Divorce doesn’t just split a marriage. It reshuffles social gravity. Some people get uncomfortable around it. Especially in tighter cultural circles where divorce carries weight. It’s not always about you being defective — sometimes it’s about them not wanting to sit near disruption. But here’s the part most guys miss: After divorce, your social circle often collapses because it was built around your role, not your identity. You were: -Husban…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 06:35 PM
3

What you’re describing is something I’ve seen a lot of guys go through. The part that trips them up isn’t the legal process. It’s not even the separation itself. It’s the attachment to the version of her that used to exist. You wrote: “I still love the idea of the woman I knew…” That’s the hinge. Most men aren’t actually grieving the present reality. They’re grieving the story they built around it. The shared future. The sense of “this is my person.” When that fractures, the brain keeps trying t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 01:28 PM
2

I agree. I noticed the great style of writing as well!
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/26 07:57 PM
1

Option 2 sounds incredibly mature!
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 09:22 PM
1

I won't pretend to know all of the answers, but I noticed that he felt more grounded after finding a new (or whatever remained of) community. He surrounded himself with people who weren't looking at him as a target of their anger, ire, etc. but instead as just a dude (like everyone else by the way) that had a rough spot in his past. That seemed to help him immensely, especially since they interacted with him as a person separate from that situation, just a person without the label of [divorced],…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 09:02 PM
3

That’s a brutal landing. A friend went through something similar — long marriage, fast ending — and the part that messed him up most wasn’t the divorce itself, it was the sudden loss of structure. Home, routines, identity… all gone at once. What helped him early wasn’t trying to “figure out his future,” but getting grounded in the next few weeks so he didn’t spiral or make decisions he couldn’t undo. Grief plus urgency is a rough combo. If you want, I can share a couple things that helped him ge…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:58 AM
5

Yeah, some do. Not a ton, but it happens. The guys I’ve seen come out okay weren’t doing anything clever — they just moved slower than they felt like they should. Most of the financial damage I’ve watched wasn’t the divorce itself, it was rushed decisions and agreeing to things without really seeing the long-term math. If you’re breaking even on paper right now, that’s actually a decent place to start. The early goal is less about “winning” and more about not making expensive, irreversible calls…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 03:48 AM
2

u/Open-Shock-980, this is such a frustrating and common situation! I hope that you can rebuild! DM sent
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 03:46 AM
2

Exactly! I know the feeling.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:37 AM
2

Wow... I don't envy your situation at all! I hope you are coping with this all well. I hope you are thriving despite it all.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:36 AM
2

"focus all our energy on being who we are meant to be" <---- This is HUGE. Thanks for sharing this. I've been thinking of how we need to stay focused on who we are and on what we are supposed to be doing, regardless of the choices of others.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:35 AM
3

"Dark territory," is the road many of us are walking. It definitely forces soul searching and re-evaluation of our closest relationships.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:34 AM
3

Ouch. That realization alone hurts. The concept of loyalty isn't shared by all.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:32 AM
2

I've been thinking about this a lot. How does a situation like this affect how we see every other relationship? Should it? I don't know if that can be helped. It's like a permanent distrust implanted in the mind.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:31 AM
2

Exactly! I love that, "Father Teressa"
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 02:29 AM
1

Only because we're talking specifically about "silver bullet divorce," how many people had actually heard about this before going through it? Just curious. Also, I won't be as bold as others suggesting specific action, but I have collected my reflections on the whole process, especially of how to survive and thrive post "Silver Bullet Divorce" techniques. I put the link in my profile to not distract from the current conversation. I am probably going to make a post in the next few days about all …
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:33 AM
6

I am so sorry. That is horrifying!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:29 AM
1

Freedom and sanity. It's like not having unspecific hunches. Final clarity. Your gut was right?
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:29 AM
2

Yeah, that caught my eye, too. It's such a mess!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:28 AM
3

Creepy.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:28 AM
2

"The hard part is personal accountability" <- that's huge! Wow... More to think about for everyone, without forgetting the need to open our eyes to the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:27 AM
11

Wow! This was hard to read. I think you should look at yourself in the mirror: you've lived a life prioritizing your kids and their long-term well-being. Regardless of anyone's views on the particulars, I think that is incredibly noble.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:55 AM
2

After reading this a few times, I can’t say that I disagree with your conclusions.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 03:17 PM
3

Exactly — 100% this. We all showed up with the emotional toolkits we were given (usually half-empty), did our best for years, and then wondered why the thing collapsed. The real gut-punch is realizing we were often the last to know it was even dying because nobody ever taught us how to truly see or hear our partner. Now the work is refusing to stay stunted. That second chance at fathering — awake this time — is the only real victory any of us get out of this mess. Appreciate you saying it plainl…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 08:40 AM
5

I’ve seen your scenario play out exactly as you describe — good man, silent resentment bomb after a decade, then she’s applauded as “brave.” That specific pattern is real and it’s infuriating. The cultural cheerleading for her exit while he’s told to “take it like a man” is genuinely unjust. But most of those explosions aren’t born in a vacuum. She usually spent years trying to raise issues — often clumsily, indirectly, emotionally — and was met with minimization, defensiveness, or “I’m tired, l…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:03 AM
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