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View 2 posts and 52 comments by red-wings on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
12

red-wings/r/RedPillWomen06/02/14 02:11 PM
4

red-wings/r/TheRedPill30/01/14 07:31 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Hi Lady Motido. I really appreciate that you are willing to be tough (and also kind). IRL I don't have anyone I can ask - because their opinion of my husband would be irrevocably broken and they wouldn't be tough with me when I needed it. I don't want to take a sense of false empowerment back into my marriage. If my husband read this he wouldn't say anything. He wouldn't react or tell me what he thought. He would be blank-faced, and probably mad. But he wouldn't tell me if he thought I was being…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/14 08:11 AM
1

Hi MrsS - I was referring to him trying right away when I asked him to take it off the table - he definitely was that time. Normally if I think he is initiating at all, I am very responsive. When he initiated and I had no idea, I think he did something like rubbed my upper arm, something he might do at any time. It's only been 9 days since I asked him to take it off the table. During a normal 9 day period he would ask <1 time on average. Plus we both have a flu right now, so it's unlikely he wou…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/14 07:42 AM
1

Thank you - I really appreciate it. I like your ideas & I'll put them into practice. He won't complain about extra affection and admiration!
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/14 09:08 AM
2

Thank you so much, Lady Motido. Right now I have a bit of the flu and feel like crap, so hopefully I can answer coherently. I remember early on in our marriage we fought really badly. After about 18 months of this I decided I would stop rising to the bait. I saw it as a fast-moving train on a circular track, and I had to put on the brakes. Stopping the momentum was hard. It was related to the spending problems - I would confront him about spending all our money so we couldn't pay bills, he would…
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/14 09:06 AM
1

When we married he had never watched porn of any kind before (a unicorn!). I don't think he does, but life is strange.
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/14 07:44 AM
1

Hi MrsS - I replied on another comment that I had this checked (kind of surreptitiously while he was having a big checkup) and it is okay. I had long thought it was likely the problem, but it isn't. :-/
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/14 05:57 PM
1

Regarding earlier submission... It started in about 2005. It wasn't cut & dried. I went super-submissive for about 2 years, but our marriage never went back to where it started. During that time I learned how to be respectful even when I was angry, to not have tantrums when I got really mad at him, to not have expectations for him. Some of this had already been changing, but this is when it really took a turn for the better (with my behavior). Over the past 3 years or so I started to argue with …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 07:18 PM
1

I know he isn't a bad buy, sitting around during his coffee break thinking, "how can I torture my wife today??" We've had worse times than this. I could curl your toenails with some of my stories, I bet! My father married multiple times. What I saw was the same marriage over & over again with really different women. Wherever we go, there we are. As bad as our marriage has sometimes been, I've always felt that there was enough redeemable about it that it was worth trying a little harder to fix th…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:57 PM
2

We did big checkups about a year ago, and I asked the doctor privately if he would sneak this one in. It came back normal (I had been convinced for years this was the problem!). Our lifestyle has recently changed & requires a LOT more activity - next week we're moving to a house that is one mile (2 km) from the train station and we don't plan to buy a car. He does not like to eat healthy, but he is making some positive changes since we moved and I'm working really hard to get into good shape - i…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:47 PM
1

We aren't hearing what SHE did wrong. Takes two to fail at tangoing. That's why I asked for help. Because I wasn't getting it done on my own. There's no one IRL I can ask. I would be willing to bet that she nags him like nobody's business This is something my husband brags to other men about, that his wife doesn't nag him (his coworker told me). Between my mother-in-law, my stepmother, and my grandmother, I have had my fill of nagging women. That's the LAST thing I want to be. If there is one th…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:39 PM
1

He plays weird games. He frequently initiates in such a subtle way that he can later say I was the one who initiated. He'll be all over me in the middle of the night (this is the most passionate he ever is, when it's happening almost as part of his sleep!) and then say, "Noooo, you woke me up! I didn't start it." Once I said I had never told him no unless I had a legitimate physical ailment and he said, "nuh-uh! You turned me down the other night!" and he had apparently done something so subtle …
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:22 PM
1

Thanks - I think you're right, I can't keep saying how hard it is. It's not the typical situation - but if you look around /r/deadbedrooms there are women there, too. It always seems to be about control. I've only been able to stick around this long because I resorted to taking care of things myself a long time ago. It makes me sad and a bit disgusted, but I won't cheat. I would leave first.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:14 PM
1

I have no idea how to help him be a man where she is concerned. She was finally SO mean to me two summers ago that my give-a-damn completely broke. Now I am courteous to her only, avoid her as much as possible, and absolutely nixed saying anything negative relating to her or anything she does (I used to be in a panic around her). Without my panic to deal with, my DH has become VERY aware of the things she's doing & he can only be around her for about a day now before he is desperate to get away.…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:11 PM
1

Affection. Closely followed by admiration.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 06:01 PM
1

We pick people for complicated reasons we don't even understand ourselves, I believe. :-) Maybe we should be concentrating on you more than your husband at this point to at least rule out the possibility that you are enabling this behavior in him. This is exactly what I was looking for. Because I can't do anything about him directly. All of the major improvements in him in this marriage have come about by me changing myself. You may have seen my post about him going from a total spendthrift to s…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/14 05:59 PM
1

You really aren't entitled to anything he created before you were together. Your investment in him will include those years you ARE married to him, and he isn't excluding you from that. If it really isn't about money, a prenup shouldn't matter to you. I've always been confused why women get insulted over this. If I were wealthy, about to marry someone who wasn't, and my fiance balked at a prenup... I would wonder what his motivations were.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/14 01:04 PM
1

For example: My husband wanted me to buy a specific vacuum cleaner. I was a little unsure of his choice - and honestly, especially because he got the idea from his mother, egads - After struggling around with the regular kind, the kind I would have bought myself, while we're in temporary housing, I think his plan is awesome! It's twice what I would have ordinarily spent, and it will make it so much easier for me to keep the house clean on a daily basis with a big, shedding dog. I'm so glad I acc…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/14 08:10 PM
4

Being a "traditional" wife has enabled my husband to have an extremely successful career. We live abroad and travel extensively. It's the only thing I really wanted to do all my life, was see the world. I could not have done it on my own - my career prospects wouldn't have supported this life. Now my major goals are making it a game, to see how frugally I can run our household, so that we can continue to travel in our time off. We have more, and do more, than we could do if I was working outside…
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/14 08:07 PM
3

It might not be - upvotes are masked from auto-bots with fake up/down counts - the overall total is correct but the actual ups & downs are not. (I'm a terrible explainer, sorry. It took me a while to understand what the heck this was all about.)
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/14 01:47 PM
13

I just asked this question on TRP, from the guys' perspective. Here is some stuff I know, from being a bit older than you. _The sun is your worst enemy. And sunscreen doesn't block everything. The women I know who look the worst are the tanners. _Alcohol & smoking are not your friends! We've lived a party lifestyle for the past 3-4 years, and I've seen a huge difference in my skin. Ugh. _Eat your veggies. Your body needs all those nutrients & antioxidants & etc. to keep renewing your skin proper…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/14 10:59 AM
0

I went paleo and tried keto. Wow, I felt terrible. My skin didn't look good, my digestion went completely haywire (especially with keto), and was actually having blood sugar problems (!!). I feel best when I eat almost vegetarian, and only have small amounts of meat, when I crave it. My body yells give me the veg!! very loudly.
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:32 AM
0

This is what I'm working on now. I've had a full year of not working out, because of various life events. This makes such a huge difference when you're post-kids. Being thin isn't good enough - you have to have the tone, too.
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:29 AM
1

After living as an expat in the middle east & seeing what British women look like after sitting on the beach for 20 years... I strongly concur.
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:26 AM
0

You guys have all been amazing, and I appreciate your responses. Thank you.
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:25 AM
0

We have already had all the children we want. We married very young, and I almost immediately got pregnant. We'll be empty nesters in our early 40s. (Wooooo!) But it was really tough because neither of us were ready to be parents when it happened. We all grew up together, LOL (our kids are amazing, btw). I think the hard part when you're a woman is that this idea of "fertility value" is something that happens subconsciously - it's instilled from many thousands of years of evolution, not culture.…
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:25 AM
1

Sorry, I didn't answer the "confirmation" part. The thing is, as much as you need a man who is willing to BE that guy, you need a woman who is mature enough to see the value of letting him be that guy. I wasn't always this way. Earlier on when I tried to be a submissive wife, my husband just acted like a bullying beta rather than an alpha guy (he was mid-late 20s then). He is different now, generous and amazing when I back off. But on a private level, I fantasize about him really taking charge. …
/r/askTRP01/02/14 10:20 AM
1

For some reason the men here look young into their 50s - but their same-age wives look much older than them. Maybe because of thin skin? Maybe because when the sun is actually available they fling themselves into it with wild abandon? I really don't know. But the women here age really badly, almost without exception.
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:15 AM
0

I would encourage my daughter to not marry anyone younger than 28! My husband wanted a partner when we married, but he wasn't ready to be a husband, this is true. He especially wasn't ready to be a dad. My SIL has never married - she is the rare 40-year-old virgin. But I can't imagine a worthwhile man who would want her, looks completely aside - being single that long makes people weird. I'm sitting on the wall, honey. And fighting it.
/r/TheRedPill01/02/14 10:11 AM
1

I wish he would just "get it". But he wasn't raised this way, and it won't come naturally to him. It's in his personality, though - it's how he is at work. I'll know he "gets it" when he finds a way to put his mother back in her box. Nicely, of course.
/r/askTRP01/02/14 10:01 AM
3

Ooooh, I've been waiting for this one! When we married, my husband was incredible irresponsible with money. It was shocking. I budgeted and tracked EVERY PENNY. Of course I should be the one handling it, right? Except he would do things like go buy a $250 toy for himself when we had $252 left for the month. Our finances were in catastrophic condition despite all my efforts and scrimping. I felt like the red-headed stepchild of our marriage, because I was doing without everything so that we could…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/14 09:37 AM
3

He married me when I was 20. And we were both immature jerks. We're both a lot nicer now. I could write books about why it's a bad idea to marry when you're 20. ;-)
/r/TheRedPill30/01/14 08:14 PM
1

Thanks. :-) warm happy feelings
/r/TheRedPill30/01/14 08:05 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. I don't care if everyone is still looking, as long as he is happy.
/r/TheRedPill30/01/14 08:05 PM
3

I love RPW. But how can women tell me what men think about whether 30 is a hard deadline?
/r/TheRedPill30/01/14 07:48 PM
18

I'm a wife. I'm going to give you my perspective, in the hopes that it will help you. It's kind of long, but read through it & see if it is useful. My husband slipped into beta mode at some point - I think because his mother is the most controlling person I ever met in my life and her husband is a super-beta (my hubby was trained to be a beta at home but his personality is alpha all the way at work). Anyway - reading here & RPW helped me to have an epiphany about why I had gotten so disgusted wi…
/r/askTRP30/01/14 07:18 PM
2

Yeah, we just moved to Denmark & those heeled boots made me laugh. No way! I think my husband found me considerably less sexy after I had to clomp around in a foot cast last year (broke it trying to wear very high heels - le sigh).
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/14 11:57 AM
2

cut the chord Heh. That part was funny. Quit reading after that.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/14 09:40 AM
2

We have moved many times since we were married. On our current move we had to be in two places & I was supposed to pick the house. It made me very uncomfortable, because I won't see the same things he will. Most of the wives I know boss their husbands into total submission. :-/
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/14 01:41 PM
2

I've experienced this - not losing 100 pounds, but losing about 30. At the time we were churchy. All the good Christian women started nasty rumors about me that I was sleeping around. All the men starting staring at my (smaller) breasts whenever I would talk to them. Even the damned preacher. One friend's husband started emailing me ten times a day. ಠ_ಠ He quit after I started forwarding every single email to my husband & my husband started replying. As a woman who has never been on a "carousel"…
/r/TheRedPill29/01/14 07:58 AM
3

I think this might be happening because traditionally the woman makes the home - and in most of the relationships I know, the man totally defers to the woman when it comes to the house. In my own marriage my husband does actually care about the house we're in - but most husbands I know either don't care or have given up on caring.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/14 07:35 AM
1

My grandparents ran a business together for decades. They didn't always get along very well. What I saw them do was stop having their own lives at some point. I recommend having a night a week where you go out with girlfriends or just get away - and encourage him to do the same. Both men & women need time to blow off steam with their own gender.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/14 08:28 AM
1

A few years ago I was friends with women who were reading the Created to Be His Helpmeet book - written by the wife of the guy whose child-discipline books were misused & led to the death of those foster children. At that time, I worked very hard to be submissive, and while I did learn to be much more respectful to my husband day-to-day... It led to me being treated like a doormat. My husband took terrible advantage of me & treated me badly. After about 2 years of this I started taking back my s…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/14 08:14 AM
20

I'm reading Surrendered Wife right now, and yesterday I read the chapter about "Setting Limits by Saying I Can't". A long time ago I worked very hard to be submissive, but I was reading books that basically encouraged being a doormat. I got treated like one, too! This book does NOT encourage this. I highlighted this text: If your husband (or anyone else) asks you to do something that will make you resentful, overtired, lose your dignity, or interfere with your self care, practice saying "I can't…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/14 07:40 AM
4

I dated a super-beta guy for several years, and he was always talking about us getting married. It was all talk. I gave up on him - for a variety of reasons. My now-husband started this, and I sighed and said, "I've been proposed to, like, two hundred times. No one has ever showed up with something that showed real intent." I already knew I wanted to marry him, but I was tired of being jerked around, or marriage being thrown around so easily. To my surprise, this broke-as-a-joke college student …
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/14 01:41 PM
1

I would give anything for my husband to learn to stand up to his mother. She is extremely controlling, her husband is super-beta, and she is poison to my marriage. She has actually stated that I should just go away since I'm not getting pregnant anymore. She makes my husband feel terrible about himself. He will never be a proper alpha guy until he learns to stand up to her - or she dies. Sadly.
/r/TheRedPill25/01/14 08:54 PM
9

I got married very young, too young to drink legally, and then pregnant right away, by mistake. If not for this, I might have never had kids. My youngest will leave home when I'm 43. My in-laws will have their youngest leave home when they are approaching sixty five. 65! They did a few fun things as Double Income No Kids (DINKs) for many years before having kids. But they are super cranky, too tired to discipline their kids properly, and their entire house looks like a Hoarders episode because t…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/14 08:38 PM
2

Yes, this. This is my first thought. Everything I pursue on my own, except for the very occasional night out with women friends (<1 per month) is done during his working hours. Period.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/14 08:03 PM
10

Don't get depressed and let yourself go. You'll spend years trying to fix what you did to your body for six months.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/14 09:07 AM
7

When you first have a child, it blows your mind. The learning curve for caring for this helpless being 24/7, the exhaustion... it's pretty intense. Some women never go out of "newborn mode". These are the ones with 12-year-olds who don't know how to make themselves a sandwich. Every single day it's a choice YOU make. And these women who are making their children little gods, they are making the whole family worse. It's unhealthy for everyone. Children thrive when they understand their place in t…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/14 09:06 AM
2

I'm about to sound really ethno-centric, but... I've lived around the world, I've traveled a lot - and Russian women are not as simple as they appear. I haven't known a single Russian woman who didn't become extremely manipulative after marriage, and who didn't see her husband as a paycheck. And who wasn't willing to "swing to the next branch" if it looked more profitable. They have lived through some pretty terrible history, they've been abused and mistreated, and they see life as "eat or be ea…
/r/askTRP23/01/14 07:44 AM
2

This is actually a big conflict I see within TRP. The men will say "if she won't sleep with me, she just wants me to be a beta provider, I'm outta there" - and then they say "I want to marry a virgin/inexperienced woman". I guess I'm not sure how they can have it both ways, unless they plan to sleep around a lot with "bad" girls before settling with a "good" girl?
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/14 07:25 AM
1

This should be required reading for all women. I had no idea how ignorant I was until I read this book. It also worked really well as a hormone-free birth control method between our kids, and when we were ready to have our 2nd, it only took one try!
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/14 02:18 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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