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redeemedpr Archive

View 5 posts and 38 comments by redeemedpr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Somebody posts something thoughtful, and informed by experience, but it's a little off from the company line and it gets shut down immediately, wiped clean? Forum was once a place for discussion, now it's just a place to advance a specific and unchallenged agenda, or else? That's too bad. Everything good and democratic is eventually corrupted, I guess. Good luck.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 01:36 PM
1

That's a complicated answer. Years of dead bedroom plus coming out of an omega stupor Plus newfound physique plus newfound game awareness plus increased interest from other women plus one encounter in particular that crossed me over the line, then the cat was out. And there's even more to it, but that's enough for now
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 12:36 AM
1

I think the high value demonstrated by my cheating helped the marriage get off the ledge at first, but that betrayal has created more complications for me personally and my dynamic with my wife then it has solved. Cheating is in no way shape or form the path to fixing a marriage. Looking back, I could've easily accomplished what I have in my marriage now without going down that path.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 12:02 AM
1

This seems more like a blue pill beta embarking on a red pill journey only to arrive at a purple pill destination. Yeah, i'd say that's an accurate description of how it would be described here. You can try to explain the success of my marriage in many ways, I've heard the hysterical bonding thing here a year ago, but my marriage is only gotten better. After a whole year of experiencing it in contemplating it, I'd say the effects of my cheating have dampened the growth and enjoyment in my marria…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 11:59 PM
11

Just looking strong is not the point either. We don't lift just to get the pretty looking muscles. We lift to foster and build a mindset as well. Being strong has enumerable benefits in addition to physique, that have been outlined here in the past, and by Jim Wendler himself recently in a blog post. Why Do This Getting strong is valuable in its own right. So, your post should just be titled "Get strong, but dont get fat".
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/18 07:27 PM
1

Why I train jiu jitsu. In both women and violence, you get out of it what you put into it. No one is handed victory in battle or the bedroom. And in both, the goal is never to win the fight (or get sex that night), but to become a warrior. Someone who understands how to fight. And the victories will come.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/18 10:54 PM
2

Of course its not a reliable description of how and why things went wrong. Its her feelz. What value it has is it is a great representation of womenese, and is largely accepted (hence the upvotes). I know my wife would haven given a hearty Hallelujah! to this. Men need to understand these things thier wives say are not uncommon. Listening to them, and dropping to your knees to serve thier every command, is not the answer obviously. But a man shouls, at least, be versed initially with an understa…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/18 12:46 AM
1

Joking, but seriously
/r/RPChristians13/04/18 12:15 AM
1

I suppose everyone is in different places, but the red pill (and Jesus) really helped me learn not to resent my wife. AWALT is really freeing. No more wringing my hands over my wife's faults. Also, a deep understanding as to why she struggled to love me at my worst, and some empathy because I struggled to love myself at my worst.
/r/RPChristians12/04/18 03:07 AM
1

The short answer here is -- there is nothing we can do to help your wife. So for now, you take your focus off her. Your focus is on you. On getting yourself together, centered, integrated, strong. Again, dont neglect her. But don't be weighed down by her disposition. You find ways to smile, to have energy, to approach life with enjoyment. That being said How does a Christian husband who made a lifetime of marriage commitment handle this? Perhaps the answer to this will reveal itself over time. S…
/r/RPChristians12/04/18 01:44 AM
1

My 2 cents , from someone who has been there--- First off, don't get her pregnant now, or for some time. Be on the watch, because if she feels trapped in the marriage she may -subconsciously- trick you into pregnancy, because having a child would fill the void and give her life meaning. I agree you need to go on an improvement mission. Lifting, knowledge, confidence. But, you should be careful with the withdrawing. Although I disagree with willowgirl as to why, I agree it can be a double edged s…
/r/RPChristians11/04/18 07:07 PM
1

Wrong. And I'm living proof.
/r/RPChristians11/04/18 06:56 PM
3

I would recommend Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Me, especially since you are single. Lots in there was helpful in understanding women, but there is a particular bend towards identifying a high-value mate.
/r/RPChristians11/03/18 08:05 PM
1

As far as your wife caring for you while you are sick, I think it is worse off for you that she is a nurse. For two reasons: She deals with sick people all day. She does not want to come home to another patient. Though it has already been pointed out that sickness displays weakness in a man, which is an instinctual turn-off for a women, all inclinations a normal woman may have to "care for her man" are probably used up by your wife in her day job She can tell you expect her to care for you, whic…
/r/RPChristians02/03/18 09:00 PM
4

I see the tough love approach has carried over here from MRP
/r/RPChristians02/03/18 08:52 PM
1

I have been convicted of this as of late, so this thread is quite providential. I really appreciate the ideas and I'm going to start tonight.
/r/RPChristians02/03/18 12:19 AM
2

I don't think you should be looking for a RP church. You should look foremost for a church that believes and teaches the Bible. A church concerned with depth of belief and worldview, not just an emotional and motivational ride. The rise and embrace of a new wave of masculinity should be on the periphery of the churches mission, imo. I think the Western church has by and large become over-egalatarian. Is what it is. A reform in positive maculinity will happen on a grassroots level. Once you find …
/r/RPChristians22/02/18 02:52 AM
1

This is the question I will have to spend some time pondering over the coming months and years. Initially, I'd say one good thing about MRP was the focus on ownership. You are the only problem you can control in your marriage, and to the extent you pour emotional resources elsewhere you distract from your goal. One bad thing is the reductionism that comes from saying something to the effect of, "you have to be able to divorce your wife and walk away from it all before you are in a place where yo…
/r/RPChristians19/02/18 10:40 PM
1

In my case, yes the crisis through cheating served as a reset on our marriage. Though this is not a prescription as a viable method for any others to resurrect their marriage. All the aspects that RP points out such as dread, preselection, hysterical bonding, etc all played in my favor at the outset of our recommitment, but lasting principles of leadership, attraction, flirting, etc. are playing a major role in the continued success.
/r/RPChristians19/02/18 10:38 PM
1

Lots of questions. I will do my best to answer. •How about you? Are you getting the validation you desired from her? Yes, I would say I am. She has changed a good bit, probably because she no longer has a drunk captain, and she has her own "mission" or finally a legitimate reason not to be harpy all the time. She believes we can have a good marriage, and that her actions contribute to that. So, yes I am happy with the respect and validation I am getting. Oral sex is a big turn-on of mine, and ha…
/r/RPChristians19/02/18 10:35 PM
2

There was some change early on, but then she tested me and I failed because I was still angry and I could not recognize it as tests. Not really after that. I got pretty arrogant, and I was still angry at her deep down so if we had any positive interaction, once it eroded I would withdraw. I did a lot of things "right" by RP method and standards, but I lacked something foundational that would let everything else take off. The best way to describe what was missing was a reset, or a main event. She…
/r/RPChristians19/02/18 01:27 AM
2

Glad you are fighting the fight to understand manhood in the context of Christianity. I think it is Ok to be proud of yourself, as it were, but where you need to watch out is when you begin to look down on others because they are beta, etc. We are all sinners, on equal footing without Christ. Humility isnot thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. Use your leadership and strength to build others up.
/r/RPChristians18/02/18 03:39 PM
1

When you are in this stage where your wife does stuff like this, you must be clear with your communication. And not fear. "No problem, I will handle that. I will make sure I have time to get it done in the morning ". Its a little of the old - how you say what you say - type thing. Say it with frame. And do it in the morning. After she does it you have to just smile and not let it bother you. No "I told you I would do it in the morning" "I dont know why you did it" or any of that garbage. Just sh…
/r/askMRP11/02/18 02:36 AM
0

I'm unclear what your frame and vision is going forward To live life with integrity. To invest in, and honor, my family including my wife. To pursue my interests within the context of my obligations. To GET AFTER IT, and live life with aggression. To serve those around me, and advance God's Kingdom in my small sphere of influence. To seek to foster and enjoy a deep connection with my wife founded on honesty, humility, and playfulness. And to expect nothing in return, per se, and be grateful for …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/17 02:25 PM
1

Well put. Yes, a life well lived is a balance of self care and other-centeredness.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/17 02:20 PM
1

The internalization of being able to take care of your own shit and your own needs because is great. As far as I can tell, he's gone out, done it, and found it unsatisfying. Great, let's find something worth investing into that's more satisfying and make a choice to do so not out of any debt or obligation (covert contract), but simply because he chooses to. In this case, taking care of his tribe is taking that role. Of all the people I expected to see through all the RP dogma, to the issue at th…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/17 02:02 PM
1

I think you're saying that you've made raising your family a Mission and a passion, and that you are finding steadfastly pursuing this Mission far more satisfying than merely seeking to satisfy personal appetites. Yes. I am not serving my family to get a response from them, and have them meet my needs a la the nice guy. I am serving them out of a deeper sense of duty.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/17 01:53 PM
-1

I don't really think of it in terms of right and wrong, my journey that is. To the extent I put myself first I eroded all of my meaningful relationships. The best, most intimate relationships require an openness and sacrifice that "putting yourself first" and constantly posturing to get ahead undermine. I know that goes against whats generally promoted here. I dont have all the answers, but I know putting myself first was toxic. Encountering God can certainly be a shaming experience when you are…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 11:50 PM
2

The different peoples responses have been interesting. I have more peace, but not less passion. I have enthusiasm about connecting with my wife. Enthusiasm about a second chance for us. The sex is just a surprising outpouring of that connection. My needs are important. But when my marriage really began to come alive is when I stopped focusing on them. I just dont think about them much. I think about my wife's needs and my children's needs far more, and it has been exponentially more fulfilling. …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 11:43 PM
2

Yes, I havent masturbated in several weeks. Its been fantastic. And it is currently a boundary for my wife I'm happy to honor
/r/askMRP08/09/17 09:02 PM
2

Thank you, old man. You know your words have meant much to me.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 08:30 PM
14

So, what I'd watch for is the bitterness creeping in and then hypergamy influencing a branch swing. Chicks rarely leave unless they have a sure thing lined up. Appreciate the advice, but no thanks. Im not going to watch for it because there is nothing I can do about. In fact, I broke the bonds of our marriage when I had sexual relations with other women. She has the freedom to leave whenever she wants without a smidge of guilt, and even the clear support of her family. I dont fear it, I dont liv…
/r/askMRP08/09/17 07:43 PM
0

What happens when this lulls? Or ends? Can you handle it, or do you just think this mini peak is the new normal? It's not. You're still mentally weak and judging your success based on the sex you're getting RIGHT NOW. I didnt care for your post, but I was glad to read this. Reminds me - I don't give a shit if I'm mentally weak. Oh well. And I'm not judging any success based on sex. Now, later, whenever. I'm not a success or a man because I have sex. So, I wont be a failure either if it goes away…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 07:29 PM
-5

Reading hardass stuff like this reminds me why I took a break from here. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 07:26 PM
2

I'm familiar.
/r/askMRP08/09/17 07:24 PM
1

It appears you've gone to DL 10 and beyond and brought it all back. Sort of a "Bay of Pigs middle ground option" that appears to have paid off. Exactly what happened. But not a course I recommend for anyone. There were aspects of our failure of a 10-year marriage that played a part in this working out that are unique. Not to mention the re-awakening of my wife's faith, which has opened a door of forgiveness and OYS with her that I didn't expect.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 05:56 PM
1

What was weak is you didn't reveal it at the start. I agree completely. I was weak. I could be in the same situation, without the complete erosion of trust - that came not necessarily from the action, but my having lied about them after saying I confessed. You signed a contract to remove the burden of sex, so now sex is freely given. Guess which one is a lot more fun and a lot more fulfilling? Yes, this was one aspect of it. Right now, the most key was me moving on from sex being central. It fre…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/17 05:52 PM
7

Yes, but my stepping out and having sexual experiences with other people is a different level of betrayal. Or at least that is my opinion (and the opinion of my family and friends). Also, I contributed considerably to her becoming that woman with my porn addiction, lack of leadership, blame-shifting, and hard-heartedness toward her.
/r/askMRP08/09/17 04:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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