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View 2 posts and 7,140 comments by relish5k on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
74

Discussionrelish5k/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/20 05:31 PM
19

Discussionrelish5k/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/21 10:46 PM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 7,140 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Reliable understanding of human history is based on the written record. we can make guesses about early societies based on archeological findings and our knowledge of uncontacted tribes but they are certainly subject to interpretation. For the past ~2000 years humans have been either monogamous or polygamous. I wouldn’t call that “recent”
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 11:00 AM
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Marriage exists to join individuals in the eyes of a community generally for the purposes of creating a new family. marriages are the backbone of social organization and have existed for thousands of years before the state ever got involved. In our modern world there is an odd symmetry to it - the marriage and prenups are both legal assurance / insurance policies of good faith among spouses.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:54 AM
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I'm much nicer to my husband than I was to any of my exes, does that count for anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:14 AM
18

Having a "go bag" is pretty whack-a-doo. The only scenario where it makes sense is if you are in the process of trying to leave an abuser but can't just up and leave for some reason. Having a family go-bag for a natural / social disaster though is just good sense. Always be prepared!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 03:11 AM
2

I'm a mom of 2 young kids (3 and 5). Of course my relationship with my husband has changed but it's still pretty great. Our sex frequency hasn't really changed, and we both encourage each other to pursue hobbies outside of the house now that our kids aren't babies any more. Our kids are of course a priority, but part of prioritizing our kids means showing them a loving and healthy relationship. We are warm and affectionate and playful with each other, include when the kids are around. Making tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 07:13 PM
1

i support universal conscription for men and women, 3 years of service, can be military or not
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:10 PM
1

There are lots of different ways for men to have sex. The most consistent and reliable is being partnered. Prostitution is an option but isn’t really desirable for men with other options because of the high health and social stigma. But prostitution of females for sex is so much more commonplace than prostitution of males for sex because men have higher libidos than women, on average, eg men have a higher physical need / desire / what have you for sex. It takes about 48 hours on average for sper…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 12:18 AM
1

i think there would be logistical challenges with that
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:26 PM
1

if my name is smith and my husbands name is johnson and our daughter is smith-johnson and then she just passes on “johnson” to her kid or just uses her husbands name, then i would question the prudence of giving her a hyphenated name in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:41 AM
1

yeah like i said, so each their own. but if everyone hyphenated and gave equal weight to each parents surname, it would not be sustainable beyond a generation. it involves picking and choosing which brings you right back to the status quo. it would not be a good universal law.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 06:25 PM
0

still don’t think it passes Kant’s categorical imperative sufficiently enough for me to be on board. an then you are left in a generation in the same situation - where you are picking and choosing names, including some families and excluding others. but again, to each their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 05:14 PM
2

I kept my name, kids have his name. I’m not a fan of hyphenation (when does it end?) and I’m not against following tradition / the path of least resistance either. That’s what my parents did too. But in my family people have done it different ways - my little sister changed her name to her husbands, and my niece has her mom’s last name. to each their own
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 04:55 PM
0

Honesty of this sort is more akin to rudeness, which absolutely is not proof of superior social skills. Artifice isn’t great but polite and gentle social interactions grease the wheels of a community. Women primarily have better social skills than men because they (on average) are better at maintaining weak social ties / acquaintanceship, meaning they have broader social networks. They also tend to be more proactive with making plans, planning events and parties, filling up a social calendar, et…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:45 AM
1

When I think provider I think “a man who can financially support a family,” this may be with or without additional income from the wife. In dating, that means looking out for a man who will be capable of being a provider when you have a family. A woman who is looking for a man to start paying her bills ASAP…well there are not so nice terms for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:42 AM
1

If you want 2-3 kids it’s best to get at least engaged in your 20s. If you don’t then it doesn’t really matter. Physically women definitely peak in their 20s. My year was 26. Sigh.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:39 AM
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I loved my dad, he was a wonderful man. And i would definitely go to him if I needed love and emotional support. But for advice and direction 100% my husband has the better head and more logical thinking, as well as just better judgement in general. My MIL is a pretty savvy lady and I know my husband goes to her for advice on a lot of things (most career - she is literally a career counselor). But I know our lives better than she does and how his needs and choices fit in better than she does. So…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:35 AM
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people who put more into the system should be able to expect more out. proportionality that accounts for more than wages.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 07:09 PM
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humans have had population declines due to war, famine and disease but i dont think there has ever been a sustained period where women had on average 0-2 babies
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:21 PM
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financial incentives tend to have a minimal impact on increasing birth rates, unfortunately. social pressure seems to be the most effective way to keep secular women at near replacement level birthrate
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:20 PM
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one such important change will have to be how we structure social security and what counts as contributions towards social security.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:18 PM
7

imagine a 40 year old masculine clunky man. he has broad shoulders a deep ribcage and a rugged face with a massive chin and heavy brow ridges. he is hairy and has a deep voice. however his mentality and behavior are as sweet pure and innocent as a toddlers. would women want to hug him? his mother would
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 05:20 PM
0

Male doctors these days are more likely to marry other female doctors than female nurses
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 02:57 AM
2

My family owns a bar. I’d be fine with my 18 year old niece going into the family business. Sex work is not even comparable to other vice industries. It is much less reputable.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 12:45 PM
3

This video is an excellent resource - Papa Macs Guide to Ethical Slaying The creator is former RedPill, and describes an exercise where men can practice initiating conversations with strangers to increase their social confidence. No manipulation or misogyny needed. The creator also says, and I agree, that there arent nearly enough BP resources to help hapless young men, which feeds them into the manosphere/pill content.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 03:10 AM
1

you are confusing providing as a partner with courtship. Courtship is to demonstrate interest, which can include provide resources but there are other ways men can invest in courtship - texting/time/attention, planning dates, writing poems, making mix tapes. Resources is just one of the ways a man puts his best foot forward to attract a mate. And even then, I don't think that men being providers inherently allows men to take advantage of women. It only allows shitty men to take advantage of wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 02:31 AM
3

Men have greater sexual desire, yes. the most common (unpaid) pathway to sex for men is relationships (most men also enjoy being in loving relationships too). So if men want consistent access to sex and they don’t want to pay for it then…they’re going to help themselves a lot with overt demonstrations. otherwise they are shooting themselves in the foot (which they’re welcome to do as a matter of principle if they so choose) I’m not sure exactly what you are arguing for or against here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 09:32 PM
1

patriarchy is culture. feminism is culture. biology doesn’t come with a social point of view. We humans are a mixture of biology and culture, but one cannot erase the other. Some babies are biologically influenced, some culturally and some both. It sounds like you’d like blank slate feminism to make a bigger show about fighting against benevolent sexism in the name of ideological consistency, even though this would not be to the advantage of their stakeholders. Sure, reasonable enough. I’ve cert…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 08:40 PM
11

What is it that you think feminism is about? There are women who deny biology and believe in total equality / interchangeability between the sexes. It’s called blank slate feminism and it’s stupid. I denounce it because it’s factually wrong and embarrassing. I believe in equal economic opportunity between the sexes in the labor market (classic liberal feminism). I find no contradiction between this and our biologically routed behaviors when it comes to sex and dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 07:36 PM
4

The peacock analogy though is that the sexually selective feature is also somewhat maladaptive. Being an artist or an athlete, while certainly demonstrating the desirability of a mate, also carries inherent value.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:43 PM
54

Men will always need to woo women as long as men desire women more intensely than women desire men, which is routed in biology rather than culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:08 PM
19

Being an asshole is like peacock feathers. It’s not actually adaptive - in fact it’s actually maladaptive from a survival point of view. But having the big peacock feathers indicates that the male who wears them is indeed so excellent, so fit, that they are barely a hindrance at all. And that is what attracts his mates. Similar to asshole behavior. A man who is cruel and churlish while also unattractive and socially awkward isn’t going to derive much benefit from his asshole behavior. But a man …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:06 PM
1

What about from the child’s perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:47 PM
2

Sometimes he directs me around when we’re in public, but to be fair I do bump into things a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:44 PM
4

There are very few porn stars who speak well of the pornography industry once they retire, even those who said they felt empowered while they were performing. So this is not exactly new and makes sense OF would be similar (if generally somewhat less degrading than traditional pornography). Also you would only be a trillionaire if you heard women say it non stop for over 3,000 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 10:40 PM
1

yeah, per my previous comment, pretty crazy
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 04:06 PM
2

In the US it is legal to procure a paternity test. Judges don’t consistently find that the results override a signed acknowledgement of paternity at birth (and I happen to think that this is crazy)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 12:08 PM
1

You’re right, I am against mandatory testing conceptually. Just as I am against living in a “paper’s please” society or any increase in surveillance where “if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to be scared about.” I am against these things because I think treating everyone with uniform suspicions degrades trust and social capital and I think trust and social capital are important ingredients of a well-functioning society (and they are already on the decline as is). I feel slightly differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:21 AM
0

i’m taking about the US specifically. I’m not really concerned with global jurisprudence on the matter
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:02 AM
3

Companies would make a profit but…who would pay? most couples do not want it, and insurance isn’t going to cover. if you want it to be mandatory you need legislation to mandate it. that cannot happen if the platform is not politically viable. Heck even if you want it to be routinely offered at birth you would need some kind of policy change. Even a policy to routinely offer to non-married couples would need some kind of policy change (even if it makes perfect intuitive sense) Who do you see as b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:28 AM
3

The mandatory DNA is just kind of silly and belies a level of ignorance of how the health care system works and how politics work. If it’s such a slam dunk then…why is literally no politician pushing for it? Not even the based ones? insurers have no reason to cover a test, doctors have no reason to recommend it, and taxpayers 100% DNGAF enough about it to shell out the costs. even if the cost is low there are about 3.6 million births per years so you’re looking at at least $35 million additional…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:15 AM
2

Yes and I think it’s insane that that isn’t always the case. A man should never be on the hook for a child that isn’t his own, unless he legally adopted the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:06 AM
3

things are rarely even stevens in a couple. an that’s why you often see men doting on their pregnant wives / mothers of newborns. and if he doesn’t he’s an asshole, don’t replicate him.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 02:01 AM
3

I think the more interesting question is why humans are failing so hard lately at natural selection and willingly taking themselves out of the gene pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:59 AM
6

I actually think it’s pretty dope that I get to take a step back in my career and focus on my littles without any social judgement. I still work part time but I also get to spend more time with my kids (who are sweet and adorable and have little sticky hands and like to roar like dinosaurs, dance and sing and be tickled), and spend time cooking healthy meals from scratch, which i have the freedom to do because my husband works hard. If you’re super passionate about a career then yeah, it’s tough…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 01:52 AM
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My husband makes me coffee every morning. He is silly with me. He saves interesting things that he read about or listened to on a podcast and shares them with me and then is interested to hear what I have to say. Whenever he goes out to get coffee he gets me a coffee too. He grabs my butt and makes me feel beautiful and desirable. He cares that I have what I need. He’s thoughtful, intelligent and very rarely complains. He plays guitar and has a lovely singing voices. He is rational and logical a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:39 AM
1

well if you’re nostalgic for the village that’s what th village was. even in a futur-optimist lens, where we can make new villages that are bigoted and racially degraded, there are still trade-offs between personal liberty, individual rights and a communitarian, highly supportive society.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 09:26 PM
1

I am in my late 30s, married to a man 6 months older than me, so i’m all for being with a man the same age. And all the points you raise about being with a partner who is aging are valid. Plus my own parents had a big age gap and their relationship was a disaster. That said as I get older, I do see the advantage of having an older husband, because you get to be a forever hot young thing! but i wouldn’t recommend a big age gap relation for a woman under 25 or a gap much bigger than 10 years
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 03:08 PM
5

See the problem with the village is that the village has expectations. It used to be that the whole village would help you raise your kid, but also no people of other races in the village allowed and if you get pregnant without being married you are either disowned, sent to a home for a year, or forced to marry the father by gun point. In the village you do what your parents did, you don’t get to move to the big city and get a degree and go to museums on sundays with your single friends. Do we w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:37 AM
2

All good no worries. And I agree being a single mother is a horrible deal - I would never advise a woman to have children with a man outside marriage. But having a strong partnership totally rocks. I don’t feel a “bear the brunt” of motherhood at all. Yes I endured pregnancy and breastfeeding and that was rough but also it was super cool to see what my body could do and I cherished that intimacy with my babies. The rest of the burdens are just regular parenthood burdens which are born by both pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 04:24 AM
3

I think most women would jump at the chance to get married to a man who met her standards, but standards are high and women are finding it increasingly difficult. And I believe survey data supports this - women want to be married, but not to the men in their dating pool. FWIW I don’t necessarily think having high standards is bad, or that women need to “lower” their standards. But I do reject the premise that women are rejecting being mothers so much as the are finding the available pathways to …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 02:37 AM
2

women who choose to have married / be partnered have generally at replacement fertility. Women who are unmarried / unpartnered have fertility way below replacement. it seems to be a package deal, generally speaking the horse drives the cart and not the other way around
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 02:28 AM
-9

Oh FFS this is a ridiculous way to talk about pregnancy in the year 2026. Victorian grandmothers would roll their eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 12:33 AM
-4

Women are opting out because they are unpartnered, or stay unpartnered too late into their reproductive window. Married women still typically opt towards motherhood. As a married women being a mom rocks, sweet tiny humans who love you what could possibly be better? yes it makes more work to do but i don’t shy away from hard work.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 12:31 AM
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Flirting and playfulness, and 1:1 designated time can also do the trick
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 08:42 AM
–

do you think the world is more or less misandrist than in the past?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 04:09 AM
1

i think priorities change because of the baby that needs to be kept alive, and has 0 skills to achieve that that goal on its own
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 04:06 AM
1

well most women are shorter than 5’8 so as a subscriber to the natalism sub, can’t get on board
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 04:04 AM
2

No more dating apps, bringing back matchmakers / yentas to help young people connect through friends of friends of friends, and it's free or very low cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 02:14 AM
2

Yesterday I was sick and my husband insisted I spend the day in bed. Then he took the kids to a Sukkot brunch at our local synagogue (I am Jewish, he is not), and in the afternoon took them to the science museum so I could get more rest. He is a gem of a man who treats me like treasure. I am beyond lucky that he's so good to me. Because even if he wasn't I would still probably be with him lol because he's so handsome, physically imposing, funny, intelligent, artistic, conscientious and hardworki…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 06:16 PM
3

You should read Woke Racism by John Mcwhorter if you haven’t already
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:10 PM
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Maybe that applies for some but i do think that, after kids, women get into this mommy mode where they still love their husbands as a father/friend but lose all sense of feeling sexual. which i get, ive been there! especially if she’s on anti-depressants and/or has the post-partums. but you’re not going to get out of feeling that way by not fucking your husband lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 05:03 PM
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walk my dog 45 minutes in the park every morning
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 04:59 PM
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My go to piece of advice at bridal showers is: “you know how sometimes you don’t want to go to the gym because you’re too tired or just don’t feel like it, but then you do it anyway and afterward you’re so glad that you did? Well, that also applies to activities in your marriage” (keeping it PG-13 for the grandmas). I just don’t understand why it’s so hard for women to fuck their husbands. I mean sure there are going to be lower-frequency sex periods when children are very young. But the whole l…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 04:57 PM
2

there’s is 0 guarantee that artificial wombs and high quality sexbots would develop hand in hand. It’s possible but these are two completely different markets that only overlap in a very fringe niche corner of the internet (at this time anyway) and even if you did have the womb + sexbot, you’d still be signing up for life as a single parent, which is not very fun or glamorous (unless we’re just going full bladerunner with it…which like, ok sure. maybe we’ll finally get flying cars too)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 04:20 PM
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I have girl->boy and it’s awesome. My little girl is absolutely wonderful with her little brother (they became best buds once he started walking). And he is such a sweet and relatively easy kid! He has a ton of energy and is roaring at us like a lion half the time but he’s also a darling little love bug. Maybe there will be more hardship out of the toddler phase but I think you’re going to have a great time. ok reading your concerns -> the clothes thing is kind of annoying but we still have them…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 11:46 AM
1

The thing is i was extremely attracted to him, it just didn’t click at first. But when the switch was on, it was very much on lol. I think was totally obsessed. Female attraction is different from male attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 07:41 PM
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There are two sexes. Each sex has a biological function associated with it, and a social/cultural function associated with it. The biological functions are fairly rigid but the social cultural functions are more fluid, and this is what people mean when they say gender. Gender non-conformity exists when someone does not adopt the social/cultural expectations associated with their sex. Identity has nothing to do with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:08 PM
3

Why would any normal human think that a man would want all the responsibility with none of the fun of sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:05 PM
3

One of my exes was more of a “slow burn.” I wasn’t attracted to him at first but then he got on my radar (when an acquaintance of mine expressed interest lol). Then we got together and it was quite electric. It was like before I just didn’t see him and then I put special glasses on and couldn’t see anything else, haha. Though if I had been wearing those glasses from the start then sure, if that makes sense. All my other exes I was attracted to from day 1.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:02 PM
3

You can look without leering. Seinfeld has it right. It’s like the sun. Glance but then look away without staring https://youtu.be/dZpZa4sI1io?si=rRTlXgd1ISaOgpa Look away just don’t get caught
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:50 PM
1

Ha, that’s how much i spent on my husband’s wedding band. It’s high quality and has lasted well over time, he wears it every day. Mine was more but the stone was an heirloom diamond from his grandmother. I love wearing that ring, it’s been passed down from mother-in-law to daughter-in-law for three generations. Someday I hope to give it to my son for him to propose to his future wife. The whole “spend a lot of money on diamond engagement rings” was just a very succesful marketing campaign from D…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 05:29 PM
1

Yes, and probably not. It’s called acting. As long as the sex is not gratuitous and works for the plot (and the money was good), I don’t see why not. A man who is married to a famous actress shouldn’t be the jealous type.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 05:23 PM
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When love finds you, you say yes. Hopefully it happens in your 20s. Teens is about too young. 30s is playing it dicey if you want to have a family. 20s is perfect. Met my guy when I was 2021. Growing together has been amazing. We’ve been married 10 years and have 2 beautiful children. 10/10 would recommend to anyone who is lucky enough to have the opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 05:21 PM
2

Why do so many people do stupid things that are not in their best interest? IDK man. Humans are weak and fallible. Life is messy and complicated. The best laid plans don't always work out. And sadly, the mistakes of parents oft repeat themselves with their own children.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 12:46 PM
1

Women are more desirable due to males having a higher libido. It's true that this biological "male thirstiness" makes it not impossible for single mothers to find partners. But let's use myself as an example. My husband and I are both 38, and we have 2 kids. We are both in good shape, decently attractive. But the fact that we have had two children gives me like -10,000 points in the dating market, and him about -2.5. Marriage absolutely prevents men from walking away. It is a literal and metapho…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 07:51 PM
1

When a woman has a child it forever changes her body for starters. Men look the same before and after children, women not so much. As such children do basically nothing to impact a man's desirability in the dating market, whereas for women the effectively tank. Because of the asymmetric investment in reproduction, women typically lose anywhere from some to a large deal of income generating potential due to being pregnant and caring for infants / breastfeeding. As such they typically depend on th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 07:18 PM
1

How would you change this laws to make marriage more equitable? They are currently gender blind. And mind you, in a relationship with children that was 100% economically equal between men and women, women would be getting the "raw deal" as their reproductive investment last 1-3 years per child vs a man's, which lasts about 8 minutes (generously).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:53 PM
1

there are some complexities associated with the end of humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 12:49 PM
1

having children outside of marriage benefits men, inside of marriage benefits women and children. (in general. these things are nuanced but you seem to seek simplicity. women put much more into reproduction than men do, marriage is an insurance policy for them that it isn’t in vain. and most men want their wives to feel secure that they won’t be abandoned with stretch marks and leaking milk, and understand why that’s important for their wives. they also generally prefer that their wives lose inc…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 11:36 AM
2

in my twisted worldview, people who are poor enough to qualify for means tested government subsidies and depend on such subsidies for sustenance are indeed vulnerable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:22 AM
1

marriage provides protection to children and their caregivers, who are usually women. it also provides security to women that men can’t just abandon them without recourse after they have sacrificed their bodies to bring his children into the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:20 AM
2

i think women who don’t want children are ok with men not committing to them because they won’t provide children
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:16 AM
2

but for women who don’t want kids/marriage it doesn’t matter, they can just get a man later, an older man who probably also doesn’t want kids, or at least not more kids. the “lock it down” mentality is mostly about reproduction
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:15 AM
7

women who don’t want children aren’t “wasting” time. i think you could re-word your comment it’s not super clear what you’re responding to or what your argument is
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:22 PM
5

i’ve never met any marriage crazed women who were too old to have children. plenty who are on the cusp (late 30s) but that’s cause they still want kids maybe the post-menopausal ones are just desperate to avoid the old maid label. seems dated but i could see that being a thing. but by and large the women “pushing” for marriage are doing so in order to make it work for their reproductive timeline
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:20 PM
3

so you’re proving that single mothers are disproportionately poor and vulnerable…mkay being on the hook for children, needing to bring in income and provide caregiving solo is quite taxing, not fun, and and smart women would push to avoid it giving a man children forever changes your body not to mention your prospects to attract future mates. bad idea to do it outside of marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:17 PM
1

life experience counts for something. but you’re welcome to have a differing view based on your own life experience
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 09:03 PM
12

…and the women who “push” for marriage are the ones who smartly observe how much not-fun those single mothers are having
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:52 PM
3

ah yes who wouldn’t want to be a single mother subsisting on government benefits. extremely aspirational.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 08:49 PM
11

maybe? though really i think that one is much more split. maybe it’s a generational shift but i’m seeing more men more interested in having kids, sometimes more so than their wives.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 05:57 PM
16

All of the woman I know who feel strongly about marriage want kids. I believe you will find similar trends on subs like Waiting to Wed. The women I know who definitely don't want kids are much more lackadaisical about marriage because they have no specific biological / reproductive timeline. It is common sense to a degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 05:37 PM
36

By “push” for marriage I mean women who communicate clearly and uncompromisingly that marriage is a priority for them. I don’t believe it’s a good idea to drag a man who doesn’t love you enough to commit without coercion to the alter
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:56 PM
85

Because women who have children outside of marriage are uniquely screwed and vulnerable. Almost all of the women who push for marriage want to have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 03:49 PM
11

I am a married mother, my husband pulls his weight. I see the same or similar in most of my friends and family members marriages. It is an exception to see a totally checked out dad. It’s very different from my parents marriage and the marriages that were commonplace 20 years ago. Maybe it’s a class thing, we’re liberal, urban, college educated, etc. This reads like a paranoid delusion inspired by sad reddit posts, but that’s not real life
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 04:30 PM
4

It would be super weird if I loved my husband like my son. I don’t think my husband would like that very much either. Historically men have married because it was the best and safest way to have sex and access to legitimate (male) heirs. Historically marriage has not been about romance for anyone. There are certainly vestiges of the sex/security trade off in modern relationships but they are far more (mutually) companionate than ever before. I gave my husband my phone number at a concert, and he…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 06:49 PM
1

before i was married i enjoyed attention from attractive men who i was considering dating. i liked having options. then i got married and now i don’t care about options because they are worthless to me. i am happy being thought of as dead (or less morbidly, invisible) to men as a married women. it’s actually kind of nice lol. there’s only one (straight) man’s opinion i care about. my 5 yr old is hardly alone in her princess obsession it’s pretty common - just to illustrate how the desire to be b…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 10:34 PM
1

amazon prime is convenient. what’s convenient about this. i’m just vain, and not really into men who aren’t my husband. when women get old it’s not that lack of male attention that bothers us so much as we want to continue to see ourselves as beautiful, which is better validated by other women. some women are happy to totally let go, but not me (see point A, i’m vain AF) a 5 year old girl who loves beautiful princesses knows nothing about the male gaze but will likely seek to emulate beauty with…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 07:07 PM
1

yes, though i don’t really care who the source is. honestly my target audience of positive attention on my looks is women my own age, maybe gay men. attention from heterosexual men, other than my husband, is pretty low on the totem poll.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 06:53 PM
–

i went out to dinner with a friend of mine tonight. they wanted to buy a house but wanted to avoid high broker fees. so she printed out 80 letters, all hand addressed, and delivered them to what she thought were the best houses in the neighborhood. 9 responded. 5 were polite declines, 3 made outrageously high price demands. and 1 is the house that she just bought. Shoot your shot guys. You only need 1 for it to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:32 AM
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polyphasic sleep as was experienced ~150 years ago is not like newborn sleep is today at all. i know because i have polyphasic sleep now (fall asleep with kids at bedtime, then up for a couple of hours, then back to sleep) and that is so very different than waking up with a newborn or infant who isn’t sleeping through the night yet. the big elephant in the room is co-sleeping. when co-sleeping is the norm mom’s sleep quality is so much better. baby wakes up, boob in mouth, everybody sleeps all n…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:26 AM
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Yeah that was my thought too…like there definitely is unnecessary mental load stuff, and i know because i love doing those things! Trips to disney, annual photos, holiday magic, all things i love to do and don’t expect my husband to take part in because it’s my jam, not his and that’s fine. But what OP is describing here are just the very basic duties of parenthood. not the optional stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:15 AM
–

8 continuous, uninterrupted hours of sleep, heck even 7, is very different from 8 hours in chunks of 2-3 hours
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:04 AM
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also sometimes they cry the entire time they are awake. every baby is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:02 AM
1

As someone who is firmly post-wall, I could give a fuck less about attention from men. My husband is into me and that’s all I care about. I do, however, care very much about maintaining good looks just for my own ego purposes (e.g. hearing someone say “wow you look exactly the same!” or hen I haven’t seen them in 10 years is like heroin into my veins, whether the speaker is male or female is immaterial)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 01:32 AM
8

I'm curious if you have read the study? How are you interpreting the conclusion in your own understanding? The questions asked were things like "How much sexual desire do you feel for your partner right now" and "When you spend time with an attractive person (for example, at work or school), how strong is your sexual desire" My husband and I could both rate our sexual desire a 10, but his 10 is not my 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 02:07 PM
4

what you call average guy / badboy most women would call “guy im not really attracted to / guy im attracted to”. people want to do sexy stuff with people they are attracted to men are attracted to a wider swath of women than men. but different women have different taste in men - the very top and very bottom may be consistently appealing /unappealing but there’s a lot of flexibility with attraction in the middle
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 07:15 PM
2

“This is how things have always been done” applies to women and mothers being the primary caretakers of young children. What has changed is the site of economic production - it used to be in the home, then it left the home, and now it’s kind of coming back.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 03:37 PM
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being able to articulate and communicate what you are feeling and why is absolutely a part of emotional intelligence, as is perceptiveness to the feelings of others and self-regulation. men (tend to be) better with self-regulation/stoicism, women are better at picking up on the emotions of others, responding appropriately and communicating their own emotional states.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 06:02 PM
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for thousands of years before birth control sex was full of risk and danger - mainly in the form of risk of conceiving a child. birth control has made sex “safe” but we’re still primed to couple sex with some risk and danger. thus the ever escalating pursuit of kink. (for me see Mary Harrington's concept of "re-wilding" sex)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 05:25 PM
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Men of PPD: do you want a submissive woman, or a woman to make the first move. Trying to suss out the real preference here - a woman who goes along with what you want, or a woman who demonstrates assertive and active interest? (in this scenario both/neither is not an option)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 05:21 PM
3

Q4Men: what do you think about talk therapy? have you ever tried it? do you think a weekly session of chopping wood and using an excavator to clear debris would be equally or more helpful to your mental health than talk therapy?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 04:20 PM
2

I am not overly pre-occupied with infidelity. For one, I think it’s very unlikely my husband would cheat just due to his values, character and upbringing (none of the men in his family have cheated/most are with their high school sweethearts). But if he did cheat I’d just rather not know about it, (assuming he just did it with a rando on a work trip and wasn’t having an affair with a community member.) But even then, honestly whatever. Life is long, marriage is long. Cheating is just one of the …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 12:53 AM
1

I guess it’s both? best friends who fuck each other is essentially the gist but there is certainly a masculinity / femininity polarization that makes you continually interested in each other. without that difference / polarization you go to far into best friends territory and then the spark dies down and you become like roommates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:53 AM
0

eh i mean that’s mostly true. but no one is going to want to get to know your personality without a picture. you truly need both. and pictures do at least advertise / signal certain personality traits, it’s just a fairly shallow depiction. what that has to do with “opening up about dating struggles online” i have no idea it’s true that dating apps suck and that the alternatives are lacking. it’s fair to complain about that. i think maybe don’t listen to people / women telling men what to do, lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:48 AM
4

everlasting sleepover with my sexy best friend. ability to create new people in my likeness. financial security (our assets are better when invested together)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:40 AM
1

women care about looks and personality (as do men, for the most part). that should have been obvious to you from day 1, as it is obvious to most people. you seem to think that it’s some weird kind of binary. why you thought you only needed to invest in looks with no attention to personality is beyond me. you should obviously have a personality outside of the gym. and anyone who says that women don’t care about a nice physique is lying or trying to sell you something
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:38 AM
0

Are you truly flummoxed that the most common dating advice is to look hot and have a good personality??
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:32 AM
1

Men who women have crushes on do usually get married and become husbands. Crushes + time = husbands
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 10:43 PM
7

“Listen, Coop - last night was really great. You were incredibly romantic and heroic, no doubt about it. And that's great. But I've thought about it, and my thing is this: Andy is really hot. And don't get me wrong, you're cute too, but Andy is, like, cut. From marble. He's gorgeous. He has this beautiful face and this incredible body, and I genuinely don't care that he's kinda lame. I don't even care that he cheats on me. And I like you more than I like Andy, Coop, but I'm 16. And maybe it'll b…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 10:41 PM
6

Women typically have a harder time after divorce than men on average (lower income, less likely to be re-coupled). But they also initiate divorce at higher rates, so presumably it's worth it to them (or a case of buyer's remorse?) regardless, the party that loses out from divorce by far and away most frequently are children
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 08:23 PM
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You are so very welcome. I'm a big proponent of half your age + 7. So within those boundaries, you have my blessing to have at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 02:08 PM
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There’s such a big difference between a SAHM pre-school aged kids and post. With babies and toddlers it is constant, no brakes, mess, chaos and exhaustion. Some women have the stamina for it, I do not. Once they are spending 20-30 hours a week in school/pre-school it is so much better. Still challenging in its own way but so much better
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 06:14 PM
1

I kept my name mostly out of laziness and my husband doesn’t care. It mildly irks me that i have a different last name as my kids so who knows maybe one day i will change it but unlikely as its been 10 years lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 06:10 PM
7

With both age and income it’s ok to date someone a little above or below you, but if you’re talking about a significant gap the relationship probably won’t work. It’s better to be with someone who has comparable experience, you’re more likely to stay compatible that way. My mom was much wealthier than my dad and it was a constant point of consternation in their relationship, as well as their different upbringings.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 06:09 PM
2

Let’s go even more basic and fundamental. Humans are sexually dimorphic, so the sexes are quite different. Males have a very low investment in reproduction and a very high drive to reproduce (high sex drives). Women have a very high investment in reproduction and while they enjoy sex their drive is on average lower than men. So this dynamic plays out across the spectrum in sexual relationships in men and women, from extremely transactional to much more subtle. And of course just because on avera…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 12:09 PM
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you don’t actually win anything in an argument
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 05:12 AM
1

i 100% agree with her (the video lady)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 09:55 PM
1

The ring on the finger is forcefield, but I'm still alive behind it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 03:27 PM
2

yeah a few times over the course of 17 years i’ve smiled at a few hot blokes. what a raging slut i am.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 11:54 PM
3

You gotta live a little. Flirting is a spectrum to being barely perceptible to practically hanging off someone. I think it's ok for committed people to hang out on the low-key end of the spectrum without disrespecting their relationship, but of course ultimately that's a judgement call.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 05:08 PM
2

haha "hey babe, you know our mutual friend Greg? Well when we smiled at each other today we exchanged knowing eyes that in a different timeline we would 100% be banging. Just thought you should know. LMK if you have any follow-up questions. later babe!" Gosh, if my man felt the need to tell me about every hot girl who made eyes at him as some kind of confessional rather than as randy-talk foreplay, I would lose attraction to him. He knows I'm attractive, vivacious, with a healthy sex drive. He's…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 04:00 PM
4

The opposite. I love a man who loves women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:20 PM
2

I had 3 LTRs before my husband, that folded for various reasons, most of which can be vaguely attributed to me being a hot mess / dysfunction in the relationship. I am married now so I'm only leaving this relationship in a casket. We have been married 10 years, together for 17, 2 kids under 5. We keep it fun because we like each other a lot, are attracted to each other, and continue to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:20 PM
6

Lol no, this has never happened to me. My husband and I vent to each other because we are friends (?) and in a relationship (?) I support him, he supports me. I've never dated a man who needed active coaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:17 PM
0

I think it's good for people who are coupled to be able to flirt a little bit, respectfully of course, and nothing over the line (which is tricky, because the line can appear to jump around at times). But you're married, not dead. Sometimes I'll talk to a guy and we'll exchange a smile or a knowing glance of "if we weren't married to other people... ;-)" I might enjoy spending time and talking to a man like that, maybe a bit more smiley than around other guys, but that's about it. And I can't th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 03:15 PM
2

Who he is opens the door, what he does (as in, demonstrating his value during courtship) seals the deal. Women like to be wooed, but only by men who they like inherently for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 11:34 AM
5

The best case scenario is that the parents have realistic expectations on marriage and developed emotional regulation skills, and understand that conflict usually resolves and that the period with young children in the house is extremely stressful and temporary. For households with high conflict, it is no guarantee that a separation will actually reduce conflict. Separated parents often continue to fight which hurts their children. They are also like to re-couple with new partners who they conti…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 01:06 AM
2

That is wonderful news! I wish them the best of luck
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 11:10 AM
2

there are resources out there for kinship families to support children instead of them going through the system https://formedfamiliesforward.org/services/consultation-and-support/ that poor baby. what a tragic twist of fate to be born not only to a violent criminal but within a family where no one is going to step up to protect their own, completely innocent, flesh and blood
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 05:23 PM
2

Men still need to compensate somehow for their lower reproductive value, if they plan on utilizing that reproductive value at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 04:05 AM
2

well yes if you are an anti-natalist none of this is really relevant, as I outlined in my previous comment. For 99% of human history and social evolution courtship, sex, and reproduction have been linked. And for about ~80% of people, those things continue to be linked. Though note that the fact that one man can get multiple women pregnant simultaneously and sire many more children than any woman can is literally why men are less reproductively valuable. In a polygamous society almost all the wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/25 03:33 AM
1

I'm sure men like to be impressed. But typically men are more into "the chase" specifically as the hunter. Women bring eggs to the table. Eggs are much more valuable than sperm. Not to mention a uterus and food-making breasts. Women are objectively more valuable reproductively than men. As such, men need to demonstrate their value somewhere in the process. It's less pertinent for men who are not interested in children. But even then, there is the issue of asymmetric sex drive. (Most) men desire …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 02:01 AM
1

so obviously conservative men and women don’t see each other as equals because conservatism is far more into sex differentiation than liberalism. my point still is and always has been that motherhood is a bigger deal and is more celebrated/venerated on the right vs the left, and that’s totally irrelevant to men seeing women as equals.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 04:20 AM
1

women like to be won over. shoot yourself in the foot if you like, doesn’t change that that is the preference of the vast majority of women globally. i guess it’s not the norm in some Nordic countries but pretty much everywhere else. doesn’t need to be elaborate but should be demonstrable
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 04:16 AM
3

men are expected to but disproportionally high effort into courtship. if and when a relationship progresses to the stage where children are involved, that disproportionate effort while shift.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:23 PM
1

Met my now husband at 21, married at 27, first kid at 33, second kid at 35. Now at 37 i just quit my job to do freelance work so I can be more available for the kiddos while they are small (and handle most of the domestic grind of daily living). they still go to pre-school though. I’m glad we got to enjoy being married for a while pre-kid but we ended up having kids a little later than i had initially envisioned which is somewhat of an issue as it doesn’t leave us a lot of time to have a third, …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:20 PM
2

A man, who you are already attracted to, making an effort to impress you, makes a very positive reception of said man. i don’t think it’s reasonable to expect men to jump through outlandish hoops (e.g. first date at a michelin star restaurant), and women shouldn’t be totally passive in phases of early courtship. but its reasonable to expect a man to attempt at least some “whoo-ing” early on and in no way reflects a lack of female interest
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:14 PM
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celebrated 10 year wedding anniversary yesterday with a nice dinner out. marriage has been great, even if it didn’t change the tenor of our relationship, the commitment adds a nice layer of surety to our lives. in many ways we are very lucky to have this relationship but i do think what we have is achievable for, if not everyone, than most everyone. i don’t get why people say marriage is hard. between work, parenthood, fitness, friendships and extended family and all that marriage is by far the …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:10 PM
1

i think that is more a a terminally online manosphere saying than a traditionally conservative one. i don’t see what respecting motherhood has to do with civilization building
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:04 PM
1

eh, i think there are a lot of conservative mothers out there who feel quite valued for their fecundity and the fulfillment of their traditional role. motherhood has more social currency of the right vs the left
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 07:03 PM
1

i’m not sure if i would say respect is innately tied to deference. i respect my children but i certainly don’t allow them to call the shots! the right certainly celebrates and admires motherhood, albeit a narrower interpretation of it, more so than the left, which views it as a personal choice no better or worse than any other personal choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 02:30 PM
1

the right certainly celebrates motherhood, and reveres it, but as i already said a much narrower interpretation of motherhood that many women find unpleasant. but certainly not all. mothers are more likely than non-mothers to be right-leaning after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 02:28 PM
0

why would something that is worthy of respect necessarily entail being worthy of freedom? those are two separate values. the right respects the role of motherhood, but doesn’t mean that they value the agency of individual mothers
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 09:46 AM
1

yeah that’s basically what i’m saying. they respect the role of motherhood, and think it’s important enough to warrant being a full time job, and that those who do not treat it as such are not performing it sufficiently. it’s a rather narrow interpretation but even within that role women are still expected to prioritization the well being of their husbands and families over themselves. selflessness and meekness are part of the package.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 09:43 AM
2

the right respects the role of motherhood as a crucial component of the traditional family. the individual women may be respected in as far as they execute their role. but that respect does not lend to other areas e.g. personal agency. conservatives respect the role and not the individual liberals respect the individual and not the role
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 04:12 AM
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i don’t really see many women out in the wild being outlooksmatched by their dates. seems like you think this girl was kind of an uggo tho
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 03:09 AM
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i’m on lots of the mom/parenting subs and every time i see a post of mom complaining about the behavior of her tween+ son the bottom always makes a hint like “and his stepfather tries his best but he gets frustrated too” or “i try to coparent with his father but it’s hard because he doesn’t enforce the same rules”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 03:07 AM
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i don’t think anyone knows why for sure, but it is observed among elite athletes but the theory supports what you said - 1st children tend to be smarter. maybe it’s because the individual attention they get before a sibling is born increases their cognitive capacity. who knows. so instead of competing intellectually with a smarter, older siblings, the theory goes that younger siblings pursue separate avenues for success, particularly sports.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 02:38 AM
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fun fact, younger siblings are actually over-represented among elite athletes. a 1st place gold medalist is more likely to be a 2nd or 3rd child than a first. but they do tend to rank a bit lower cognitively tho, bless them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 02:11 AM
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if you google a little harder you will find the percent of fathers who do not push for 50/50 custody in court. but yes men certainly face sexism today. all of the males misandry i hear thrown about makes my blood boil. women throw around phrases like “do we really need another man to do x,y,z” as though the young boys of today are somehow responsible for the shortcomings of men of the past. you reap what you sow so it male bitterness and resentment in 2025 should come as no surprise.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 02:06 AM
2

motherhood is highly respected by the right, maybe too much so as the right sees women as having little use outside motherhood, which is not compelling for most women. motherhood is not valued at all by the left because the left is afraid to call anything “good” lest someone accuse them of implying that another choice is “bad”. the only “good” the left recognizes is the fulfillment of individual ends so any actions that sublimate the needs of the self in the pursuit of a higher order objective a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 02:03 AM
3

there would be a lot of complexity to enforcing such a law in a way that would maintain paternal rights for those men that want to keep them. a woman would need to a) know she is pregnant and b) notify the man (assuming there is only 1) and c) get his verdict on whether or not he wants to be involved all in a relatively short window. and likely need everything motorized. given the demo that tends to experience unplanned pregnancies this does not seem feasible. or the alternative would be that an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 01:56 AM
1

or do but just spend the proportionate time to handle the family domestically
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:24 AM
2

There's not really an economy of scale to folding laundry. The difference between a family of 4+ vs a family of 2 is, obviously, more felt than the difference between a family of 2 and a family of 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 08:28 PM
3

Lib feminism= legal and economic protections, specific pieces of legislation Rad feminism=less concrete outcomes, more social/cultural impact, movements around pornography that were ultimately unsuccessful. The difference is between legislation that impacts economic opportunity vs vibes. That should be pretty obvious, assuming you question is asked in good faith rather than some low effort attempt at a "gotcha"
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:06 PM
3

Agreed. I think the other piece to consider is men and women could live single lives, but not alone. Generally they lived with extended family, especially women. Men might be able to live in a boarding house. But either way wouldn't be particularly glamorous unless one was exceptionally wealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:02 PM
4

While many institutions have historically pushed women into marriages at the end of the day the major incentive for women to marry was not cultural, social or religious - it was economic. Up until the last 75 years or so it was very difficult for women to lead comfortable solo lives. Social and cultural institutions buttressed this economic oppression but were not the main factor. men have a more pronounced sex drive and relationships are still probably the best way to get consistent sex, as pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:44 AM
2

more people = more laundry. maybe you don’t feel it so much with just one more body to clothe and mouth to feed but it does add up as you pile up on bodies. we probably spend a good 1-2 hours a day on just cooking and cleaning the kitchen (though we also both work from home so more kitchen action happening during the day i suppose)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:36 AM
4

Millennial dads are way more involved in childcare and household chores than any generation of fathers before then. i would believe that they are not equal domestic contributors but also most moms are not equal economic contributors.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:33 AM
3

most of the major achievements of feminism in the US are due to liberal feminism. abortion rights, pregnancy discrimination, illegal sex discrimination in the workplace etc. radical feminism is more about vibes, and really emphasizes (rightly or wrongly depending on who you ask) the predatory nature of male sexuality. radical feminists put a lot of social capital behind fighting pornography and failed, quite massively. but it’s clear that a lot of modern feminist complaints against men are route…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:28 AM
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<image> checks out
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 08:24 PM
2

i very much disagree with women who think it’s anything other than lunacy to birth the child of a man she isn’t married to
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 08:19 PM
1

while i mostly agree with this, a guy who is somewhat below the radar looks-wise can definitely become a noteworthy prospect with exceptional character traits (intellect/charm/charisma/humor).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:58 PM
2

i generally subscribe to the male variability hypothesis but uh….i would be super unhappy if my daughter became a prostitute. i just think that’s very unlikely.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 10:40 PM
1

I am certainly more concerned for my son and his future than my daughter. I don't know if that relates to me having more empathy for random men on the street / in sad documentaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 12:53 PM
9

I rarely initiate, sex but am always "available." We very rarely turn the other down because we're pretty good at reading signs (if the other is sick/tired/stress), so we won't initiate if the other is clearly not in the mood. But we're both usually in the mood. But outside of sex there's a lot of cuddling, handholding, hugging, grabbing, flirting - most of which I probably initiate.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 12:43 PM
2

Well my kids still go to nursery haha, they're just there from 9-3 instead of 9-5. And during that time I do all the stuff I need to do to keep the house running, workout/take care of myself, and work on my business (not supporting our household but that money definitely helps to supplement). Being home on my own with a 2 and 4 year old all day would make go insane lol. But i know some women who do it and love it, so to each her own! I guess the "led" stuff only makes sense with a significant ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 12:28 PM
–

If you want to be bluepilled, here is a video compilation of Boston Rob and Amber falling in love on Survivor. 20 years later they are still married with 4 daughters! So freakin cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 07:51 PM
2

I am in a fairly traditional relationship, though neither of us intended for it to be this way. But life happens, kids happen and I didn't want to work crazy hours just to be paying outrageous daycare costs and be stressed all the time. He makes (most of) the money, I spend (most of the time) with the kids, co the cooking, laundry, etc. He still does traditional male chores (yard, trash, car). He can cook and I can take out the trash, of course, but we like to stick to what we know. He is probab…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 07:47 PM
–

There is nothing more blue-pilling than my Instagram feed (of people I know, not influencers). So many happy normie looks-matched couples in their 30s. It is soothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 05:22 PM
2

It really depends on the age of a man. <25 women are basically just looking for men who they vibe with and are attracted to. Nobody is really established at that point, and a man who is ambitious can be attractive, but it's not a top factor. 25-30 a man should at least be climbing the rungs of financial stability / success to be attractive to a woman (who is own) (provided he does not have other outstanding qualities). 30+ it's pretty important.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 04:18 PM
1

So you respect little boys and have empathy for them, and don't respect little girls and have no empathy for them, in some bizarre attempt at reparations. Perfect RP logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:43 PM
2

It's not a message that mothers explicitly dictate to their daughters, because they don't need to. It's just in the air. As much as I like Disney, the fact that every princess is gorgeous does not go unnoticed by 3 and 4 year old girls, and every Barbie as well. Young girls are drawn towards beauty, and seek to emulate it in themselves. Because from a young age, they know. The message is clear from early on - being a good girl/woman = being pretty. Feminism tried to dispel that narrative a littl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:41 PM
4

So no empathy for little boys then either?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:42 PM
7

I think the disconnect is woman are telling the qualities that they want in a relationship...once that relationship has started. They are not advising on how to get into the relationship in the first place. They are giving tips on how to do well in the job, not on how to ace the interview. And it's true I think there is some embarrassment around wanting men who are fit, tall, strong look and charismatic / shows leadership potential. It's quite shallow and women don't want to come across as shall…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:37 PM
2

Um, what?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:29 PM
5

And yet women never question that their primary value to men is their sexual appeal / attractiveness, because that programming starts before 5. As such, I am sure you have nothing but empathy for girls and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:25 PM
1

At worst it's a lie by omission. Women, for better or worse, expect that men will figure it out and fill in the blanks. Congrats on your upcoming nuptials.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:22 PM
7

NGL I think Beast is way hotter than the prince he turns into...not a furry but would make an exception for beast,
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:17 PM
1

Feminism, from the start, was about changing the culture so that women would not face discrimination legally, politically and economically. Once those aims were underway, the next phase of feminism was to make sure women would not experience life-ruining consequences for behaving like men sexually, so the goal of that movement was to change standards socially and culturally. The logic underpinning these movements is that women are not so different from men as to justify legal, political, economi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:33 PM
1

Yes, tipping should be 20% in restaurants. But if he's not tipping because of tip-creep then I think that it's ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:44 PM
–

I'm still watching season 3 of the White Lotus and just saw the scene where the security guard is practicing with the gun and his boss asks him, "do you think you could do it in real life? do you have that killer instinct." And it got me thinking to all the posts that are like "why do girls go out with violent sociopaths?" and of course, most of them don't and the ones who do are pretty fucked up. But I do think it speaks to a deeper theme in female attraction. We want a man who will treat us we…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:43 PM
0

I'm getting confused as to what approaching really means. With my husband, I cold approached him well and obviously that worked. But for every relationship I had prior it was just mutually vibing with one thing leading to another. Don't most relationships start that way? My understanding is that cold approaching that leads to a relationship is rather rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:33 PM
3

No. My husband supports our family financially while I work part time / spend the days with the kids, managing the household. He has only ever been a good partner to me, we've been in love since we were 21 (late 30s now). He would not to that to me but he also wouldn't do that to his children. I know him well and trust his character 1000%. And as a last line of defense, his mother would actually kill him if he did something like that, and his family would probably disown them lol. She and I are …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:30 PM
–

if you don’t believe in yourself who will? sales is definitely easier/more successful (and less sociopathic) when the seller believes in the value of their product
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:09 AM
–

confident assertive personable people with something to offer, and who can take rejection as a part of life, close the deal (and get the girl)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:02 AM
–

all the sales guys i’ve ever worked with were old and bald (and married)
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:01 AM
–

i have also known men who were perpetually single but very much could get laid. tho i dont know your friend
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:08 AM
–

says a lot about people who buy things
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:59 AM
–

the issue with birth rate will be the inverted pyramid of elderly retirees to young workers. there are work-around but it’s unideal
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:54 AM
–

i have never met a man who was succesful in sales who couldn’t also get laid
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:53 AM
1

ok well first you would have to make publicly funded education single sex before you could offer male teachers more money. and the first part would be a huge lift and dramatic change from the status quo. what would be easier to accomplish and just as efficient in terms of outcomes would be making education more engaging for male and female students alike. it’s only harder to teach male students because they are not as equipped to handle the boredom of modern scholastics. change the teaching meth…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:37 PM
2

so do you know that boy school and girls schools offer the same salaries? i would actually believe that all boys schools offer higher salaries because fewer teaching candidates probably want to go there but those schools are very expensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:57 AM
2

i mean, i guess it’s fine to offer different salaries to male teachers in a single sex boys school, assuming parents are willing to pay for that. but most schools are co-ed so… also i think you’d find that parents are not really gunho to have to pay more to have their sons educated than their daughters.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:46 AM
3

all jobs discriminate based on the nature of the job. my former company discriminates by paying sales people more than tech support. that’s the nature of employment. people performing the same job should expect that same comp. sex based discrimination for wages is extremely illegal
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 03:04 AM
1

Marriage will become obsolete when too many people no longer feel that they can achieve markets of adulthood during the window of female fertility. I don’t think all the AI nonsense will have much to do with it, though will certainly be an option for the unmarried.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:52 AM
3

i’m not down with wage discrimination but i definitely support educational scholarships specifically for male teachers, or efforts to recruit male teachers and build up a solid pipeline of qualified candidates. Goes doubly for non-white male teachers
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:50 AM
2

I’m a big fan of Richard Reeves, and think these are all excellent and salient points (especially the point about averages / overlapping distributions). But yes obviously boys and girls learn differently, it’s clear to anyone who has ever spent time around young children. I picked up my 4 year old from pre-school last week and literally all the girls were coloring rainbows at their tables while the boys built a tower with magnet tiles. Yes boys color too and girls also build. school rewards qual…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 01:14 PM
2

eh, it’s important to have shared values. and obviously be on the same page with kids, etc. but it’s good to be flexible with the rest. my husband and i both used to work full time. now he works full time and i work part time to help make household operations run more smoothly and have to pay less for childcare. but he could lose his job and then i might need to be the breadwinner and we would switch. and when the kids are more independent my work schedule will likely shift again. this arrangeme…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:42 PM
2

Feminism is salient to a specific time and place. It gained steam as the information age dawn to get rid of anachronistic restrictions on women in a world where labor was no longer tied to male strength and sex no longer had to result in pregnancy. Feminism was a perfectly fine social/cultural/philosophical movement to help finesse the shift of womens place in the (modern, industrialized) world. But the shift has been made. The goals have been accomplished. And like all other activists movements…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:08 PM
1

the vast majority of couples absolutely do not splits these activities 50/50 and in a household with small kids there’s a lot to go around!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:51 PM
2

the vast majority of couples absolutely do not splits these activities 50/50 and in a household with small kids there’s a lot to go around!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:51 PM
7

I think you’re glossing over a major factor here in that the majority of women who say they want a “provider“ say that because what they want to do is stay at home, cook, clean, and raise children. That’s not possible when you have to work a full-time job to contribute to 50% of the bills. This is exactly it. I’m not a SAHM exactly but work part time from home and as such do most of the cooking, cleaning and watching the kids while my husband focuses on working and providing financially for our …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:44 PM
0

if you can attract women then you’re probably assertive. the way you contextualize “nice” in your OP essentially reads “spineless” or timid or wishy-washy. there’s nothing mean about a man taking charge and initiative when dating. assertiveness and kindness/thoughtfulness are complementary traits, and a slam dunk in a man
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:11 AM
1

Monogamy is pretty easy if you are coupled with someone who treats you well and that you are attracted to, and this applies to men and women. it’s certainly true that a scarcity mindset can make it hard to leave a toxic relationship, also true for men and women
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:29 PM
0

men who confuse assertiveness for “not being nice” do indeed have problems attracting women
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:26 PM
1

haha it’s funny because women are only ever told that they need to be hot to be worthy of love. so guess that’s better than being lied to
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:24 PM
–

everyone’s for free speech until someone says something they don’t like. look at Elon trying to ban all dissenters on twitter FIRE is probably the last bastion of true free speech. ACLU is a sham. not that this has anything to do with PPD topics or dating for what it’s worth there does seem to be less zeal behind the witch hunters today vs 5 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:21 PM
5

it’s almost as tho females have way more physical investment and more to lose in reproduction, and that that asymmetry of investment and risk between the sexes impacts the level of choosiness
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:18 PM
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it’s just low expectations. same reason why i get angrier with democrats than republicans
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:46 PM
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how rarely does something need to happen for it to be a fantasy?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:16 PM
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employer sponsorship as a path to citizenship for undocumented workers with no criminal history is an extremely reasonable policy. wonder how the left will find a way to be against this…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:06 PM
1

i recommend to all women who know they want kids but aren’t in a stable couple by 33…freeze those eggs. it’s money in the bank. it’s still not a sure thing but much better than being 39 after going through 2 years of not being able to get pregnant/ failed IVFs
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:59 PM
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lol, this exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 06:04 PM
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i think it’s fine as long as the woman is notified with plenty of time to have a legal first trimester abortion. no springing this shit at week 11
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 04:51 PM
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no amount of legal, economic or cultural equality between the sexes can change biology. Men desire sex (on average) more strongly than women, and have far less to lose from sexual encounters. These differences are going to always have an impact on sex, dating and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 01:37 PM
3

Or "game playing" for that matter
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 02:38 PM
3

Personality can make a man more attractive. Money on its own no, but the personality factors that are indicative of high earning (competence, ambition, leadership) are attractive to women. I mean, Salman Rushdi cheated on his wife with Padma Lakshmi for months before he married her. He has moderate wealth and fame sure, but it's that big sexy brain of his that has gotten him married 5 times (and not like, an autistic mathematical genius brain - he is an excellent communicator, and apparently qui…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 02:37 PM
1

i wouldn’t want to be with a man whose more attractive than me i’d be too insecure. re: the scenario it depends how committed you are right? a boyfriend of less than a year would probably not survive such an encounter. a long term relationship or marriage though would probably be fine. for one i don’t omit IOIs to men so having “chemistry” with someone wouldn’t really happen, even if there’s a light charge every now and then. but you don’t engage.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 07:23 PM
-1

don’t marry someone you think could be a cheating whore
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:34 AM
2

Well everyday cause my husband is pretty fine. But in terms of strangers I pass by on the street? Maybe 2-4x a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 02:47 PM
0

Your evidence seems to be: Past patriarchal societies were cool (which is null and void as you yourself admit, due to disparities in technology). And a piece by Richard Hanania (who I very much would doubt would agree with your OP) For example: Yet feminists will still insist that traditional gender roles are stupid, women are perfectly equal to men, and that women are just as good as men at inventing and ruling and leading (in fact, many feminists even claim that women are SUPERIOR leaders than…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 03:42 PM
1

The fall of the patriarchy is more of a technological / economic outcome than a social and cultural one. The birth control pill and the decline in the importance of male strength in income generation have more or less made the patriarchy obsolete as an organizing principle. I could basically re-write your OP and replace patriarchal society with societies that leverage horses (for transit, military, and agricultural purposes) and walk away with the same conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 02:50 PM
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lol if the house was burning and my kids were in it ima burn too if that’s what it takes to get them
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 01:11 PM
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lol if the house was burning and my kids were in it ima burn too if that’s what it takes to get them
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 01:11 PM
–

Is single income family the right word here? there are plenty of single income families that include a mother and a father.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 01:10 PM
2

Based on the CDC studies it does seem to be one of the few areas where men are victimized at a higher rate than women, though the difference is ~2% (8.6% of women report experiencing an intimate partner getting them pregnant when they don’t want it). Victimization incidence rates of this issue do not seem to be that different based on sex of victim though are at a slightly higher risk, and women while at a slightly lower risk do experience fraternity consequences
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 12:27 PM
2

Well, as someone about to celebrate 10 years of marriage with my sexy best friend, I would be a major idiot if I did not believe in love. But I would be naive AF if I thought love was just a feeling that I got to experience without putting work and sacrifice into it. That's the difference - as a youth, love just happens to you. As an adult, you have to work to sustain love but that doesn't mean it's not real. If you expect that you will just be able to continue to experience the hormonal sensati…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:27 PM
1

Don't provider men also experience hot boy summers? But to answer your question, no most provider men do not end up with traditional women. Because most high-income man marry high-medium/high income women who work, and have more egalitarian marriages. Not to say that lower income men can't also be providers but it's trickier (more possible in lower cost of living areas)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:21 PM
8

Love is more intense when you are young and inexperienced. As you get older, love deepens. It's less about how you feel and more about what you do. It's about valuing commitment for commitment's sake, as well as consistently putting your partners needs either at your own or above your level (I am specifically referring to being in love with the same person over time as an adult, not falling in love) Both are nice, but puppy love is not sustainable, nor should it be.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:17 PM
1

Nah, I'm sure they treasure you.* But that doesn't mean you can't be a pain in the ass too. *Provided that they are not mentally ill.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:04 PM
1

Your own children are miracles. The children of others, less so.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 02:45 PM
1

Marriage benefits kids, both adults suffer. But it's worth it because having children is the most amazing minor miracle most of us will be lucky enough to experience. So we make sacrifice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:54 PM
3

Yes and yes. Men and women are different and as such experience different pressures. The differences between men and women are social, cultural as well as biological. And that includes our brains and mental processing. It is not surprising at all that men and women gravitate towards different fields of interest. All that matters is that individuals face the same opportunity to pursue their goals. But a lack of 50/50 representation in a given field is by no means evidence of sexist discrimination…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 02:42 PM
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haha no. it would still be a bond he was listening to ezra klein. who can listen to a podcast while boinking?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 11:50 AM
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happy husband = empty balls, full belly
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:08 PM
2

because a lot of casual sex happens when women are very intoxicated
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 01:23 PM
-1

courage, confidence, bravery, self-sacrifice, leadership, strength - these are all masculine qualities but are not in the least bit toxic. dominance in and of itself need not be toxic. it’s the men who fail to sufficiently embody positive masculine qualities who feel the need to compensate with the toxic ones - aggression, the desire to humiliate and belittle.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 01:23 PM
0

I have an almost 2 year old. It's something I think about. For both of my kids it's important that they touch grass / avoid falling too deep in the online world, play sports/engage in physical activities, have strong friendships and have community connections. We spend a lot of time doing family activities, and socializing with other young families so so far, so good. But honestly my 2 year old is so freakin cute (as is his dad), that I think if anything the talk we are going to have to have wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:52 PM
4

Are standard paternity tests paid for...by the state? Insurers (via a legislative mandate)? That's an additional $3.5 billion on healthcare spending. And the value of this spending is...giving insecure guys cover to low-key not trust that their wives aren't cheating whores. Not exactly value-driven healthcare.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:50 PM
0

unfortunately for them, most of the guys who gave me free coke ended up pretty disappointed. the only one who wasn’t ended up my husband 🥰
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 04:04 PM
1

meth? ew. i meant coke. coke and ivies go together like shooboop shooboop.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 01:41 PM
1

haha i guess. i especially like losers who are hot, over 6 ft, and ivy grads and make well over six figures. my favorite type of loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 01:05 PM
2

Lead is a weird way to put it. My husband is the primary earner, so he spends a lot of his time working. When it comes to what we eat, how we spend our time as a family, the clothes we wear…most of that comes down to me to figure out (because he’s busy working). so who is the leader? of course for the big decisions he is very involved but we always come to a consensus, because we’re a team.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 02:32 AM
1

Families with both parents working 40hrs+ per week are super stressed unless they have a lot of help, either paid or family. It’s hard on kids being in paid childcare 9-5, 5 days a week. and then with all the illnesses, and appointments, teacher training days, etc. the constant juggle is hard. it’s nice to have a go-to parent in these situations, who either doesn’t work at all or has more flexible work. personally i think the best of both worlds is one FT and one PT working parent, but i would n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 02:26 AM
1

I liked "bad boys" in my teens/early 20s as in guys with long curly hair, skateboarders, weed smokers, drinkers and guys who could procure fun party drugs. I liked them so much, I even married one of them. But like, felons, wtf? That's crazy. I'm not mentally ill and as such have no interest in those men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 02:50 AM
2

And even then, there's a lot of variation between women. Most women who get pregnant easily will continue to be able to get pregnant easily until their early 40s. The problem is, a woman doesn't know if she gets pregnant easily or not until she tries in earnest. And if it turns out she's the kind of woman who does not get pregnant easily...well then it's much better to be younger than older if you need help with fertility.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 02:42 AM
1

that’s odd, maybe a regional thing? 90% of the couples i know have 2 working parents, both making >$90k (including my own relationship). i’m in coastal urban area
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 03:05 AM
2

the men who care about socioeconomic class are the men who have strong relationships with their family and want to bring home a woman who will fit in at family events.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 03:03 AM
1

i see it like a bank. there are some people in my life that have an enormously high line of credit with me, earned by years of mutual trusts. if they need to make a big withdrawal, or even several big withdrawals in quick succession, then it’s cool, they are covered by the credit. but if they overdraw and the balance is left on empty for a long time then…yeah eventually that account will be closed. of course none of this applies to little children who are delightful monsters, and have their own …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 03:00 AM
0

10/10 women who pursue the fully tatted violent biker gang drug dealer felon serial killer we sexually abused as children. being molested really fucks with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 02:08 PM
1

I should have clarified: most men with college degrees.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:49 PM
1

I would imagine that most of the men making six figures did so before getting married, so at least someone is marrying the guys making <6 figures. And I suppose i am really only speaking the the 4-year degree having crowd. I recognize that there are other people out there (though there does seem to be a shortage of employed, college educated men to go around for the college educated women, as women's education increases) The cashier at Walmart who thinks she is going to marry a high-salaried att…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:45 PM
11

It's not, though it also depends how old you are. Expecting your partner to make 6 figures in your early 20s is silly. Early 30s...less silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:04 AM
2

The happiest couples I know are those that met <25, got married before 30 and had kids 30+. So that more or less supports the thesis. On the other hand, totally devastating when you see a couple date for 7/8 years, woman thinks a proposal is around the corner, and the guy calls it quits (because if he is honest with himself he never saw himself marrying her but breaking up is so hard, so he put it off for 4-6 years). And then he marries the next girl he dates. I've seen this play out too many ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 03:46 AM
1

Keep flirting, stay playful. Show physical affection throughout the day (and night). Relationships should be fun. And of course there is give and take but try not to be a free loading much, do as much for you partner as they do for you, and then some when you can. And keep the sex going, even when it feels like it's more of a hassle than it's worth. It's like going to the gym - sometimes you don't feel up for it, but if you just show up and do it you will almost certainly be glad you went.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 03:37 AM
1

The Pete Davidson effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 01:15 AM
2

OP is just arguing Leviathan, albeit in a more meme-y way than Hobbes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 04:03 PM
5

next episode: women are mean because they don’t go with nice guys (like me) although i essentially agree - if the woman isn’t all over you then, at least within her own subjective range of expressing desire (some women are less horny than others) then the relationship is not on solid ground. for one, i could never make love for hous. nor would i want to. ouch. and who has the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:11 PM
30

they benefited because that meant they got to be widowed and finally enjoy some peace in their 30s
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:09 PM
0

Marriage is a social institution for a reason. People do well in long term committed social bonds. Sexual exclusivity is satisfying and makes life less complicated. Having two parents in a home is better for children. And the benefits really come to roost once you’re no longer young and beautiful, as it were. Of course it’s never that simple. Marriage can also be a prism, a sham, a site of abuse. People are complicated and individuals contain multitudes. But even if marriage is waning, there is …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 01:49 PM
1

i mean we’re already doing that effectively and it’s leading to a birth crisis. women are the selectors though. male lack of choosiness makes your proposal extremely challenging.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 01:28 AM
8

You didn't cite any actual data. Sort of just like...vibes of data. Lots of things have changed in 60 years, not just women's lib
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 10:10 PM
7

i actually don’t believe that data. i don’t think that subjective personal happiness has been reliably measured for 60 years. there are also so many concomitant factors. social capital, religiosity - the decline in these two are associated with a decline in patriarchy but it’s not possible to ascribe a causal link.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 09:47 PM
17

Patriarchy artificially deflated women and inflated men. it also shamed women who were single. i am aligned to the central thesis - by removing the artificial inflation / deflation, feminism has made it harder for women to find men they consider “worthy” but i would so much rather be a childless cat lady in 2025 then tied by marriage and blood for a lifetime to an abusive loser.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:51 PM
0

yes, social media has certainly been a boon to female sex workers “come little girls, don’t you see how much better you are than boys?? it’s so much easier for you to become prostitutes!”
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:47 PM
1

do men prefer tall women? or wealthier women? is the 6’2 man making 200k disappointed to marry a 5’3 woman making 50k if she is kind, beautiful and fertile? maybe he likes the idea of his babies being cared for by their mother. (although it’s unlikely to have such a high income gap, as most men marry women in their own social class) and why should male preferences, or lack there of, have any bearing at all on how women select partners? men and women are different and want different things and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:34 PM
1

I think you are way undervaluing the worth of domestic labor in a household with young children. The cooking, cleaning and childcare over a family of 5, if entirely outsources, would cost well over 6 figures out outsource. And then there's all the stuff that can't be outsourced by still matters a great deal coming from a parent. Waking up a night with a crying baby, planning birthday parties and keeping relationships with their friends parents, making sure they have the snacks they like, kissing…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:11 PM
1

Ha! That was how much our nanny cost, and she clocked out at 5, M-F. And that's in a MCOL US city (and we actually did a nanny share- she watched another baby with our son. If she was only watching him it would have been more). You are hilariously naive.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:58 PM
1

How much do you think it would cost to outsource the cooking (scratch home cooked meals), cleaning/laundry, and childcare for a family of 4, for a year?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:52 PM
4

Or take it one step further - women should only have children with attractive men, to ensure their sons do not struggle to attract women. Cue the "why do women pass up nice guys like me and go for hot assholes in 5...4...3...2..." Also the East Asian/Indian cultural difference is much more pronounced when these are immigrant cultures. Otherwise we wouldn't have billions of East Asians and Indians. But yes, their are cultural clashes when they immigrate to Western societies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 02:24 PM
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how long have you had it in? how important to you is it to not get pregnant? IUDs have much less hormones than the pill/ring/patch etc. i did the family rhythm/temping between my kids and it worked great but we only waited just under 2 years to start trying again. now i am on the copper IUD which has really made my periods miserable, but i dont want to do hormonal again just in case i want to get pregnant again, and fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:06 AM
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drake can’t even go to a super bowl party. where is your compassion? 😢
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:57 AM
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LOL 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:51 AM
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i’m not saying he doesn’t deserve it but it must really (relatively) suck to be drake right now. next week is going to be even rougher. there there drake.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:39 AM
2

women are creatures of the moon
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 05:19 PM
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congratulations, you have demonstrated mastery of the concept of sexual asymmetry. i hope this isn’t a recent conclusion
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:31 PM
3

yep, agreed. working outside the home is still working to the benefit of the home. it all goes to the same pot. you don’t need a husband and wife to be working the same number of hours for pay to be equally valuable to the household, but yeah the person who has more relative time should be using that time judiciously
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:46 AM
11

in my household my husband works more and i spend more time with the house and the kids (though we both still work and both still spend time on household and kids) also it’s about effort. i have stocks that pay nice dividends but just because my financial contributions have been (at times) higher because of that doesn’t mean i get to sit on my laurels. we both contribute as much as we can, as equally as we can. that doesn’t mean every week is even steven but it balances over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:30 AM
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what did she do? her comments were always so wholesome…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:27 AM
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reddit loves divorce
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:26 AM
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it is definitely difficult to balance having a career with being a parent, especially in a 2 working parent household. but since i’ve moved to being a freelancer it has actually been quite helpful. so many of my prospective clients are parents of adult children who relate very much to my situation (becoming a freelancer so i can be more present for my kids). if anything it is helping me to drum up business!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 03:24 AM
18

equal partner doesn’t mean everything is exactly 50/50, it means equal effort towards household responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:47 AM
3

seems like it would just be less heartache for everyone if parents just acted like adults and stayed present in their children’s lives
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:07 AM
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that’s what happens when you don’t give the nice guy a chance
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:04 AM
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why is successful higher than chad/stacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:01 AM
2

we didn’t get a prenup because i believe in love 💞 (jokes on me as i entered the marriage with considerably more assets, whoops). i’m reckless and overly confident and as such am also generally not a big fan of contingencies plans. if other people want to do prenups they are welcome to do it. the truth is that everyone has a prenup it’s just dictated by the state, so if you want yours to be different than go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 01:42 AM
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i’d say that was a very straightforward reading
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:17 PM
2

and which are insurmountable?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:15 PM
9

Much easier to have access to his resources when you live together and are married. Child support is way more limited than shared marital funds.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:08 PM
5

If you've picked a good man, he will marry you. Ideally before baby.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:05 PM
15

right that’s what i said - if you need a man’s money to be financially secure after having a baby, you better get married to that man. if you are independently wealthy then yeah, no ring no thing, who cares.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:06 PM
50

Having a baby outside of marriage is incredibly stupid for a woman who is not 100% economically independent. If my daughter did that, I would never stop pushing her to get married for some security. And I doubt that that would be because I would be miserable and jealous of her, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:00 PM
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I'm sure he would agree! He's never been single for too long.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 03:54 AM
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The only way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 03:39 AM
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To whoever posted Unusual You earlier this week, damn you and thank you. It has crawled it's way into my brain and I have no recourse but to listen on repeat. It's a bop.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 03:38 AM
2

Here’s the difference, between boys and girls: Boys fuck things up; Girls are fucked up. Boys just do damage to your house that you can measure in dollars, like a hurricane. Girls leave scars in your psyche that you find later, like a genocide or an atrocity. And it becomes the difference between men and women. A man will steal your car or burn your house down or beat the shit out of you, but a woman will ruin your fuckin’ life. A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he’ll leav…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 05:47 PM
3

just the school of life. female social rivals destroy each other through gossip and mind games. men get into fist fights, especially if they are intoxicated. men and women be different like that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 10:10 PM
1

yes that’s been a thing for hundreds of years. i wouldn’t call the men erecting statues of lady justice in renaissance italy blue pilled feminists
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 05:35 PM
0

on the flip side women are much less likely than men to enter into physical altercations with other females who they know. so i think it’s both
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 05:34 PM
1

women’s moral superiority was an argument used by suffragette feminists on why women should vote. it was also used as an argument by anti-suffragist men for why women shouldn’t dirty themselves with the nasty workings of politics. it is largely an idea that has gone out of vogue, particularly on the left since the emergence of second wave feminism
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 05:32 PM
1

I actually think Adrien Brody is more handsome than the other guy. He has the soulful artist fuckboy face. The other guy is too normie for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:57 PM
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Feminists who fought for sexual liberation wanted to do away with the shackles of a traditionalist society, but in doing so also threw out a lot of the benefits, which basically existed as incentives for men to play along and provide for / not abandon their more vulnerable female partners (which they didn't always adhere to, but certainly more 100 years ago compared to now). But I don't see what that has to do with the "two groups of men" aspect so much. There have always been two groups of men …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 06:19 PM
18

A lot of chauvinist men have historically argued that women are the more moral gender, and used that as an argument to keep them from formally participating in civil society. Those men and those women arguing for female moral superiority are both wrong. Women are not more moral, they are just less violent, less physically and sexually aggressive, more risk-averse. That does not mean they are morally better than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 05:19 PM
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haha, we do ok! benefit of focusing on your career in your 20s and waiting to have kids. i just quite my job to work as a freelancer so now im charging by the hour which is nice. can’t wait till the kids start public school and we get that 50k back…or at least most of it (still need to pay for after school, camp, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 08:02 PM
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in what direction?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:53 PM
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Income ranges based on bonuses and such, but ~$275k-$300k between us (he makes more than me but i still contribute substantially enough). then we have real estate investments that pay dividends of ~$20-$30k a year. we live in a MCOL city, and spend ~$50k a year to have two kids in daycare/pre-school.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:48 PM
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always wanted children. i always wanted 3 and we have 2 (the girl is 4 and the boy is almost 2). i’d like a third but have to sell my husband on it, which is a major uphill battle. (he hasn’t gotten a vasectomy yet so i will include that as a win). i’m also in my late-mid 30s so….tic tic tic…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:45 PM
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Married mother of two young children. Been with my husband since our early 20s. He’s a provider and a feminist, go figure. AMA.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:40 PM
3

being uncoupled is typically not a lifelong state. this is not 1962. a 38 year old single lady can get a new long term boyfriend at 42. there might be fewer options but it’s totally feasible
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:59 PM
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Men are really bad at breaking up with women who they would still like to have sex with. A more noble man would just make a clean break. But young men are stupid (and horny). It's the equivalent of a woman breaking up and saying - "hey we can still be friends - as in you can continue you make me feel desirable, and provide me emotional support, as long as you don't expect anything physical" both are sleazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 06:37 PM
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I think I am mainly agreeing with you. Women feel innately that men should have to put in more effort due to the asymmetrical sex investment in biological reproduction, but they can't articulate it because then that would support a sex-essentialist view that counters feminist blank slate-ism. But they know it in their bones, which is why they get big mad when men don't "put in the effort"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 05:10 PM
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Yeah he seems like he is chill and smokes weed, maybe a little dopey. Would have been all into it in my early 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:51 PM
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male gamete is less valuable than female gamete It objectively is. Eggs are more expensive than sperm.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:50 PM
6

Yes, those arguments are are all somewhat spurious. The biggest issue is the logistics of it. If a man wants to abandon his parental rights he needs to do so with enough time for the woman to get an abortion. She also has to know she is pregnant in time to get an abortion. For it to actually work a lot would need to go right and there would need to be a lot of notarized letters between two seemingly at odds and disparate parties. Seems unlikely, and if anything would just motivating women who ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 12:39 PM
5

True. Lord Byron truly did a multi-generational number on the ladies.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 06:32 PM
3

sickly Victorian poet. Mine is early 90s grunge junkie.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 05:58 PM
3

I mean, sure. It's fun to be courted, especially by men who are charming and attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:44 PM
76

It's fun to be treated like a VIP (until it's very much not). Women aren't going to treat other women like a VIP. Also most or at least a strong plurality of young people, including women, are very stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 04:37 AM
4

My guess is that has less to do with being disillusioned with love and more to do with the amount of time we are spending alone and online. It's harder to meet people when community networks are so weak.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 02:14 PM
4

if you and your partner are secluded while she’s ovulating, and she gets pregnant then a DNA test is just a flex for mental illness. The nurses took my baby away from me at the hospital. She really doesn't really resemble myself or my husband strongly. I suppose I should get a paternity (maternity?) test for her as well, based on this completely paranoid logic?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:48 PM
4

tell that to my 20 month old haha. what i mean is that you can roughly track the date of conception based on when the missed period is, especially if you do ovulation tracking. so even if you’re fucking every day, based on when the missed period is you can say “looks like our bundle was conceived in this time window…when we were in a cabin in the woods!”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:47 PM
3

or if you know how to count and have a calendar “when is the baby due…? when were we in that secluded cabin in the woods?”… maybe most couples aren’t like this but my husband and i both work from home, don’t have friends of the opposite sex (unless we are friends in a group, like with other couples), and very rarely travel for work. if he found the time and opportunity to have extramarital relations i would be stunned - by the betrayal yes, but also the logistical accomplishment. i’m sure he fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 12:47 PM
1

i challenge the “always met with resistance” but yeah i hear ya
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 08:06 PM
4

haha well very little about being a parent works towards individual benefit. expectations about men being providers are neither more nor less unfair than expectations about women being mothers and primary caretakers. both come with a lot of bs baggage and yet are still somewhat grounded in reality
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:56 PM
3

My husband makes almost twice my income. I work part time so that i have more time to take care of the house and our two small children. I’m super grateful to our husband for our set-up which works quite well. it’s extremely difficult to care for young children otherwise. the couples i know where both parents work/earn the same are super stressed and end up needing to rely on a ton of paid childcare. we certainly didn’t have this dynamic before kids and may not after they are grown, but it’s a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 08:51 PM
1

i think it’s that plus there’s just a lot of fun things to do other than having children, and this accelerates as we continue to see innovations in travel, entertainment, and online connectivity. when you live in a small town, can’t really see yourself moving, and all there really is to do is go to church and have kids, you’re probably going to have kids. now there’s a lot more options and especially if you have some money a lot more options that are much more fun and pleasurable than the slog o…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:25 PM
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my original comment was about how bananas it is to mask 2 year olds (which was a major calling card or the urbane woke left from ~2021-2023), and then i cited a bunch of papers and articles that can be summed up as “it’s pretty cruel and stupid to try to enforce masking mandates on children as young as 2, innit?”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 05:50 AM
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as per my original comment my frustration with masking policy did not begin in 2020. i’m all for a grace period when information is evolving. but responding to new research, data, and healthcare innovations is an important part of public health. and despite vaccination and growing research failing to demonstrate the benefit of masking mandates, the US continued to act as a global outlier with its pediatric masking policy. (even though many countries never enforced masking on young children to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 08:18 PM
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unfortunately I am all too literate, and rely on the Washington Post, Atlantic and NPR for my (mis)information, and give little weight to the lived experiences of internet strangers. A smarter person would give more weight to reddit posters than peabody winning journalist enterprises, i suppose. Washington Post: I’m a doctor. Here’s why my kids won’t wear masks this school year., by Dr Leana Wen, former baltimore public health commissioner, written in 2022 The Atlantic: Masking Policy Is Incredi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 07:37 PM
1

You mean disinformation like this?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/24 05:07 AM
0

misinformation is information that is actually wrong, not information that fails to support your pre-existing narrative. i would expect a health professional to be better informed than to just say “idk man, vibes are off - seems like wrong think/misinformation to me”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 05:34 AM
1

which of my wrong think is demonstrably false? that children are at lower risk for COVID? in which case that comment should probably be directed to the person who posted the link the lack of evidence that masking young children is effective in stopping the spread? or that suicide kills more young people than COVID? this comes from the JAMa article that the person who responded to me supplied - COVID is listed as the 8th cause of fatality and suicide is the 5th, killing more than x3 as many young…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 02:42 AM
1

it…doesn’t? but we could also make kids where red bandanas around their necks. it would do the same amount to stop the spread of covid as did masking toddlers. (also this ranking is relative. if we were to get rid of say drownings, firearm deaths and suicides than things that are less deadly now would become relatively more deadly despite continuing to be extremely rare)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/12/24 02:16 AM
0

i eagerly look forward to the evidence that masking toddlers does anything to stop the spread of covid. Compared with other age-groups, the overall risk of death from COVID-19 was substantially lower in children and young people. fun quote from your link. more suicides than deaths from COVID in young people btw.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 09:28 PM
5

yep. my daughter was born during the pandemic. it’s really hard to get mittens on a toddler when it’s freezing outside. and these people were insisting that we mask 2 year olds long after it became clear there was no evidence basis to do so! all just a punch of pernicious performative nonsense. that was my gateway into “anti-woke”
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 03:34 PM
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as in female monarchs have not ever made any reforms to lift the legal discrimination against women (from owning property, gaining an education, etc). they, like male monarchs, have maintained the status quo. and when that status quo was patriarchy, they maintained the patriarchy. as a random shmo in 1650 the patriarchy would benefit you thus: you would not face labor competition from women; you could own property, you could obtain an education (unlike most women). in a familial setting your wif…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 05:53 AM
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Does men holding more political and economic power make it a patriarchy? for the most part, yes. though not necessarily. in my estimation there needs to be a legal framework for this. Does that mean that every time an absolute monarch was a woman it became a matriarchy? Not at all. Female monarch’s have historically done fuckall to uplift other women. see queen elizabeth’s “weak and feeble woman” speech (the tldr of which is that she is not like other girls.) up until very recent succession was …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 03:24 AM
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it’s a power system where males hold more legal and economic power than women, at least the women of their own social class.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/24 01:32 AM
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Wants to show me pictures of his dog(s)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 03:28 PM
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In the year 2024 I think it’s about time to say: Baby It’s Cold Outside is a cute song about two people flirting. She is definitely into it and is playing coy. My take is that she is trying to decide whether or not she wants to bang him and is enjoying watching him put on his best show to convince her. It’s a cat and mouse dance that was very culturally normative in the 1940s even if it’s not that way so much anymore. To interpret this song as evidence of rape culture, one would need to see the …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 03:04 PM
20

getting your balls busted by your friends is indeed a powerful social tool
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 04:31 PM
18

if it was a friend i would tell him to get offline and that familiarity with these terms is quite cringe, and a faux-pas to bring up in irl discussions if it was my partner i would talk it out and understand his POV. most women aren’t really offended by these ideas, just the heaping dose of misogyny that they are usually served with. some of the views are easier to swallow than others. i would talk it out with my friend too, but i would probably tease him a lot first for being chronically online…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 03:39 PM
4

that’s just 1 billion the the testing. it would also require an increase in personnel and lab capacity, which would likely be in the millions. but it’s fine because we clearly have such an efficiently run healthcare system, so can afford to splurge here to protect the feels of insecure guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:35 AM
4

tbf i think escape bags are pretty silly too. maybe made more sense in a time when women has less financial autonomy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:33 AM
1

are we now expecting the same threshold of trust for a stranger and an intimate partner / spouse, somehow in the name of parity? there is a vast difference in requesting a paternity test from a one night stand vs a spouse. bad analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 03:32 AM
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well, after watching her dad carry a 70lb Christmas tree half a mile back to our house i’m afraid my daughter is going to have even higher standards than the average gal
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:55 PM
2

So i am empathetic to the soft life because i kind of have it and it is truly amazing. but i am also a mom to small children, do all of the household cooking and laundry, and work enough hours to make a sizeable income. im self employed and i have the freedom to do this because of my husband’s steady income, which our family relies on. that said, i paid my dues. i worked for >15 years in the labor force and got to a point in my career where i can quite comfortably plateau. these girls are so you…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 02:01 PM
14

Jackhammering
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 05:46 PM
19

you need to making caring for your family a priority. period. wtf even is this? marriage is long. life is full of seasons. this shit only makes sense if your vows are “i will stay with you as long as im getting mine” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:34 PM
19

having children involved changes the calculus, especially young children. if you and your wife have disparate sex drives and no kids then whatever, do what you want. if you’re made that your wife isn’t fucking you and she also happens to be up all night with an infant or exhausted from working, childcare, laundry and dealing with little people who despite being potty trained still wake up multiple times a night, while you spend your evenings playing video games and weekends golfing because you n…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 02:17 PM
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as always, this very silly. i can’t imagine my husband would live giving me a sample of his sperm to check against state databases of unsolved rapes, even if he was not indeed a rapist
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 12:35 PM
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I have awful handwriting. It's one of my more masculine traits. Women tend to rate higher on conscientiousness, which is reflected by handwriting
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 03:21 AM
1

I am very attracted to how successful my husband is professionally. He consistently demonstrates himself to be a man of value to the people around him. And his value is appreciated with ample financial compensation, which allows our family to not just stay afloat but thrive. I loved him for many years before he reached this point in his career, but now that he's here, I ain't mad at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 03:19 AM
7

I cannot fathom that this hypothetical man would want my advice. People believe what they want to believe. But if he were to ask me "how can I get her to change?" I would say you can't, and you should either accept her or move on. And if I wanted to be cruel about it, I would through in that if she respected and valued you more, she wouldn't be acting this way. And that if you want her to respect and value you you need to act like a freaking man about it and not put up with that garbage behavior…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 09:08 PM
5

Well at the risk of sounding like the world's greatest pick-me, thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:01 PM
18

Seriously. It's the vibes, stupid. And the leftist vibes for men are just atrocious.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 04:03 PM
7

like, it probably lame, but bet on yourself. like sure, you will need something, a product or service that people want. and you’ll need to deliver it without bankrupting yourself. but if you have something to offer then go for it. don’t let fear hold you back.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 12:49 PM
34

as a woman and business owner, i also advise women to start a business. working for yourself is great!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 05:37 AM
12

my husband doesn’t need my consent to touch me wtf is this for real some women can’t stand their husbands
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/24 04:17 AM
1

and yet hear i am, at 12:30am going down a reddit rabbit hole on the history of talking animals in oz, doing exactly fuck-all with my free will. (un)fortunately for me my husband is too much of an egalitarian / not enough of a man-child to be weirdly and obsessively controlling of my social media consumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 05:30 AM
2

as long as i can still fight with people in youtube comments i think i would be ok. and if i still have substack than sure, why not. the last photo i posted to insta was of my 2 month old son over a year ago. honestly i wish he would, this shit is so bad for mental health. thought the whole “business managing” thing has a weird controlling vibe.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 03:52 AM
8

finances matter to me not at all when i met and fell in love with my husband at 21. 15 years later finances make a huge difference. thanks to his income i am able to work part time and be more present for our kids, and stay on top of all of the work that goes into have a happy, functional household. i feel bad for my mom friends who would love to do the same but can’t because they are the breadwinners of their families.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 08:31 PM
10

being a woman comes with advantages and disadvantages sure. one could even argue that in 2024 that advantages are more advantageous than the disadvantages are disadvantageous. but guy, all people are susceptible to loneliness and at times struggle to find a sense of belonging. women are not immune to the prototypical sufferings of the human experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 01:14 PM
3

it just depends on what mentally stimulates you. for me it needs to be mentally stimulating and have meaning. i could spend all day reading tolstoy and playing chess but if it’s not building to something greater than myself then it’s not really all that fulfilling IMO. that’s what a lot of SAHPs do a lot of volunteer work etc. but for me i’d rather get paid $$$
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 01:07 AM
3

being a stay at home parent with kids outside the home for 6 hours a day 5 hours a week, is a nice set-up. the hardest part about it is the lack of mental stimulation and feeling engaged / building towards something bigger (the constant making and cleaning of food, washing and folding of laundry takes a buddhist mindset to not go crazy). but if you can do without the stimulation and have good community involvement it’s great. but holy shit i just spent day with my 4 year old and 1.5 year old and…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:12 AM
8

i definitely spent more time with my tits out after i had kids, especially for the first year. true equality is everyone keeps their shirt on. cmon people we live in a society
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 12:02 AM
5

yeah, probably. less appendages on the ladies but as long as the delivery was good i’d probably laugh. but then again ill laugh at a good holocaust joke (im jewish) so maybe not the best person to ask. the other thing is context. historically way more women have gotten killed / the shit beat out of them for cheating (or not even cheating, but being accused of of cheating). whereas with men, less so.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:55 PM
1

i think i was already becoming more sympathetic to men’s issues when my son was born 1.5 years ago. it has certainly made me more concerned with the downswing of male thriving in western society. i want my son to become a man and feel like it’s something he can do with pride rather than shame and fear. however i would still totally laugh about a cheater getting their dick cut off
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 08:21 PM
2

Because chores still need to be done even when the kids are home from school. If a kid is in school from 9-3, that's 6 hours a day. Probably time to do most chores (grocery shopping, meal prep, laundry, cleaning, etc). But at night time you still need to cook dinner, put the kids to bed, clean up the kitchen, and prep lunches for tomorrow. Seems reasonable for both parents to be working until the work is done.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/24 05:25 AM
0

i think even true 50/50 is very hard. because it’s very hard for both mom and dad to have the kind of flexible careers where each of them are equally free to stay home with a sick child, or take someone to a doctors appointment, or be home for an early dismissal day. the constant balancing and arranging is very stressful and if that’s what equality and empowerment looks like than no thank you. that’s my opinion though and i do think every woman should be able to make her own choice. but i will s…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 05:52 AM
4

so like…is the concern here that young women are going to accidentally trad-themselves into being oppressed, thanks to some well-cut tiktoks of skinny influencers? any woman who is stupid enough to fall for that was probably already on her way to manipulation and abuse. Sad but true. there is such a wide gulf of experience between Michelle Duggar and a family with two full-time working parents generating the same income. yes obviously being a christian fundamentalist comes with its own set of ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 05:29 AM
1

misogyny is definitionally contemptuous of women. it sounds like you are describing benevolent chauvinism / benevolent sexism, which i addressed in my post:
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 04:42 PM
42

openly sexist men* are typically hot or at least have some other positive quality going for them (wealthy, charismatic, high status). they attract women despite their sexism, because their other positive qualities more than making up for it (unless you’re talking benevolent chauvinism, which is seen as a net positive by women, typically) if a man is not hot, wealthy, charismatic or high status then being hostile towards women just makes the situation worse *(that do not struggle to attract women…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 02:19 PM
1

it’s certainly true that history is not always linear. and of course, we are seeing some regression. idolizing of tradwives, overturning of roe, the right-coded anti-birth control movement. but as long as we have capitalism i just don’t see how women can be stopped as productivity-drivers or consumers. there’s just too much financial incentive. i remember watching the handmaids tale and thinking how silly it was that the women got their credit cards turned off. major corporations want women spen…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 01:54 PM
7

the secret: marry the sex guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 06:12 AM
7

dating is time and effort - coordination, scheduling, impressing. an LTR is just life maintenance with sex thrown in at convenient times. the “resources” you are citing in an LTR is just keeping a functioning household afloat (eg doing dishes, being solvent).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 06:11 AM
2

i don’t think we can go back, the horse has left the barn. but i guess step 1 is at least being honest about what women want. step 2…i don’t know. let’s cross that after we get to step 1
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 12:19 AM
–

and for those who hate jews too, can kill too birds with one stone. super convenient
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/24 05:38 AM
–

man Jews just can’t win
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 09:03 PM
1

What is hated more on Reddit - circumcision, or pits? (Jewishly-petting my sweet little pibble mix)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 07:02 PM
1

here’s to hoping it gets more mainstream!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/24 01:17 AM
1

liberals haven’t said that all masculinity is toxic, sure. but when it comes to masculinity liberals either say it’s toxic or say nothing at all for the reasons i already stated. liberals have been losing men for a while, and that trend has simply been accelerated in the recent election. you might think it’s weird but the problem with democracy is that if most people disagree with you, well, then you’re going to lose
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 11:57 PM
2

I'm not sure how they can appeal to men without acknowledging that masculinity exists, is important and is positive. The left has either said that masculinity is toxic (e.g. negative) or that any positives of masculinity are equally applicable to women (therefore saying it doesn't exist as a male-specific trait). This has not shown to be a winning strategy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:12 PM
2

Well then I am not really following you. If men and women are different, then men and women will behave differently. So when we see differences in behavior and cry "sexism!" rather than consider biological factors...I personally find that annoying and stupid. But that's just me. However even if there are trends about groups, these trends are rarely predictive of individuals. Sex realism says nothing about an individual's woman to be able to do anything competently (or not), and we should always …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 10:09 PM
3

well, that is what sex based realism is. it’s a denial of blank-slate-ism that just says men and women are for all practical purposes the same, and that differences in outcomes are purely related to differences in culture and socialization. we can’t change biology but we can change culture and how we socialize young people, and therefore by changing our culture and means of socialization we can erase either all or most differences between the sexes. sex realism says that that is stupid, wishful …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 07:46 PM
5

For example, we can say that men and women may have different aptitudes for STEM, and that greater male representation in STEM may moreso reflect that disparity in aptitude than outright sexism and discrimination. But we shouldn't prohibit women from pursing STEM education and careers.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 07:25 PM
1

Men and women are different, and that those differences are real, that the matter and that they have implications. For example, women can get pregnant and men cannot. That matters. Most men can kill most women with their hands, and that matters. Our differences in biology lead to differences in terms of our ability and our desires and while we should not use that to oppress anyone or limit opportunity, we can recognize that these differences are real and should be respected.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 05:30 PM
36

I hope so. But the problem the left faces is that they cannot appeal to men without acknowledging that masculinity exists, that masculinity is important, and that masculinity is positive. And as soon as the left tries to start to explain how and why masculinity is important and positive, they will need disclaim with something to the effect of "but, uh, it's not just for men!! Women can do all of that masculinity just the same as men, if not better!!" And then we are back to square one - masculin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 03:18 PM
2

You need to allow reasonable dips within a relationship, marriage is a long haul. But you also owe it to your partner (and yourself!) to try to be your best self and more or less match the energy and investment they put into themselves. If you both gain 10 lbs, then whatever. But if you and your partner were both fit when you got together, and your partner is continuing to prioritize fitness and you don't then yeah, don't be surprised if they leave you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 03:39 PM
3

I am sure that is true in many parts of the world. But in any MCOL+ area, it would be very difficult. Regardless, a woman who makes $100k as a single earner is unlikely to be respective to the dramatic step back in lifestyle it would look like to be supported by a man who makes half of that. It ain't happening, and if that is your expectation than it is reality-challenged.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 03:28 PM
6

i know. it was such a silly statement tho, so i gave a silly response. tell me you’ve never been the primary caretaker of a child without telling me you’ve never been the primary caretaker of a child.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 01:49 AM
6

aw, but the bums are cute. sure infants don’t contribute immediately, and toddlers are a lot of work too, but eventually they pitch in and do their share. but yeah, for a while there parents really need to be sure that they have the resources to provide for the family. and if one of the parents is doing less paid work to do the unpaid work of caring for a family then it’s even more important that the primary earner, you know, earns.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 01:43 AM
5

The estimated median income for a family of four in the United States is $114,425. $50k ain’t it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/24 01:34 AM
5

women don’t want to decrease their standard of living after having children. that’s why they look for parity plus when it comes to a partner’s earning
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 11:17 PM
7

What is a reasonable level? For the average woman, a reasonable level is "my salary or higher"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 09:42 PM
8

Well I'm an optimist. It's always the right thing to at least try to make the world a better place, even when it seems like the cards are stacked against you. Plus I got a little boy, and it's my job as his mama to give him the best life possible. So even if it's tough, I will certainly aim to try.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 08:10 PM
3

Thanks! Glad to hear it. Becoming a mother myself was quite illuminating, in multiple ways. Definitely helped me see that value in a more "traditional" set-up, albeit one that is full of mutual respect and admiration.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:56 PM
9

It's definitely tricky. There are hard policy initiatives of course, like funding for programs / mentorship for young men. Educational programs (just like we offer to women, in spades). But I don't think that will be very effective without an accompanying cultural shift. We absolutely have to disband with the idea of toxic masculinity. I really liked this essay on heroic masculinity as an alternative.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 07:55 PM
–

this is the case after essentially all losing campaigns, it’s just a part of our political system
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:15 PM
23

I hate the word “hypergamy” because it is such a mcguffin that can mean anything from “women like tall guys” to the cinderella mating strategy. But hypergamy in the context of asymmetric reproductive investment makes perfect sense. The male role in reproduction lasts generously for 8 minutes. The female biological role in reproduction can easily last for 2 years. Our society has progressed to try to even out the social and cultural maternal / paternal investment. But biology remains stubbornly i…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 05:01 PM
1

The material world and the actions that happen in it, matter more than the realm of individual thought and desire. You can say you're bi till the cows come home, but if you are only banging the opposite sex, then leave space at the pride period for the person who is actually doing the homosexuality. But then again, I am not a Christian so maybe I don't get it. I think Matthew 5:28 is bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 02:18 PM
1

Behavior matters more than feels
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/24 02:12 PM
9

i certainly try!! we met when we were 21 and have always been super into each other. time hasn’t changed that, tho we are more busy with work, kids, etc. i know lots of married couples in their 30s and not a one of them sounds like what you’re describing. i don’t know any former OF models though so maybe im biased.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 07:12 PM
17

married 9 years, 2 kids under 5. that man still rocks my world.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/24 06:21 PM
23

so yes, the maternal mortality crisis is a statistical mirage. this is absolutely true and a good example of how data can be misused to prop up a social agenda (another such case would be the study that seemed to show black babies have higher death rates treated by white vs black doctors - another totally false, statistical mirage). but there is a very real safety concern for treating miscarriage and pregnancy complications in states with very restrictive abortion bans. abortion bans basically m…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/24 12:07 PM
–

oh FFS it's everywhere. WNYC (the NYC branch of NPR) had a segment a couple of years back purportedly about discussing men's issues but more than half of it was about whether or not the discussion even had any merit given women's oppression/the patriarchy. If you cannot see it you are blind.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/24 06:58 PM
–

It's true that Trump is awful, and most likely a sex-offender, but yeah there is quite a lot of hyperbolic screaming. And normies really really hate hyperbolic screaming from smug elite women. It would have been one thing if we had cried wolf, but instead we had to cry "Nazi zombie wolf wielding multiple grenades at puppy dogs." The very real wolf accusation gets lost in the bullshit, and nobody likes to feel like someone is trying to bullshit them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/24 03:23 PM
2

if men want all the responsibilities of sex without any of the fun they are welcome to it. i think there will be approximately 4 takers. incels committing terrorism might have something to do with incels bejng perceived as terrorists
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 07:43 PM
4

So I agree with your overall premise (males are less valuable reproductively and many are thus seen as more "disposable" compared to women). But while we are shaped by biology, it is not destiny. Using that way of thinking would seem to support the idea that women can never be liberated because biology dictates that women must devote their lives to reproduction and activities associated with reproduction. But culture changed that. In the same light, there is no reason why a cultural movement cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 03:40 PM
0

i can see reasons for cheating in a dead bedroom situation, especially if there are kids involved and the wife is totally against resolving the dead bedroom. but if you’re getting it once a week and cheating due to lack of sex, and not on like a specifically polyamorous/swinging situation, i’m gonna think you’re an asshole
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 03:36 PM
1

Maybe we're just not supposed to be pussies about suffering, and appreciate the value of sacrifice for the beauty of life. (not being a pussy about it doesn't make suffering not real, btw)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 01:26 AM
7

I mean, who really knows how people feel on the inside. But outwardly all of the marriages I know are between people who seem pretty happy with each other as friends and partners. Try not to think about their sex lives if I can help it. Marriage is great. A sleepover with your sexy best friend every night? Legal and emotional benefits? Sign me up. I think it also depends on your expectations, like so much in life. If you are looking for the perfect person who will make you continually happy by v…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 08:16 PM
2

Well I have two, so hurt so bad I wanted one more (though who knows, maybe I will have another). The thing about childbirth pain is it's unlike regular pain because it's not an indicator of harm. It's an indicator things are going right. And most likely, you will totally recover and be fine afterwards, at least eventually. So yeah, I can endure an intense amount of pain with the knowledge that it is temporary, I will completely recover, and get a beautiful baby out of it. But it's still intense …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:58 PM
2

It's pretty fucking bad. I've had two unmedicated births and I will tell you, nothing like it. What's so difficult about it is the relentlessness of it. There's not breaks, no time outs. Whether or not you are ready for the next contraction, it is going to hit you and it is going to really fucking hurt. Again, and again and again, for hours. The only way out is through. Luckily my births were relatively quick (90 minutes), and for my second birth I got to suck on nitrous oxide during contraction…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:26 PM
3

Having a dog is a lot of serious work, and should involve a good deal of intentioned training / relationship building between you and the dog.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:22 PM
-1

I am 5'4 and I have only ever been at 150lbs or above during my third trimester. BTW with your composition at 5'4 you would weigh 135
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 03:30 PM
1

interesting. i’m in my mid 30s and we don’t know any divorced couples yet but who knows life is long.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 04:30 AM
1

Fair point. Should have included that my bubble is also people who are almost all entirely college educated (at least, most also have some secondary education)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 03:06 AM
–

fuck fast fashion. look, i hate it when old people complain about how “waaah everything is so much worse now. back in the day it was all fala-dee-daa.” But as a late-mid-30s i can truly say that clothing quality has gone down hill. you used to be able to take good care of cheap clothes and they would still last a long time. now it seems like everything, regardless of price point, falls apart. but props to The Gap which has actually maintained its level of middling quality at a low price point. e…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 03:10 AM
17

No, that's not culturally normative in my urban coastal bubble. I barely know any young mothers (as in <30) or single mothers either. Some are not married but have been in relationship with the father for 10+ years.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 12:48 PM
3

It is incredibly difficult to balance work and family for parents, in particular mothers. The idea that we should have it all is a lie. You need really excellent childcare, which is extremely expensive, and there’s still a million other things that need attention (laundry, grocery shopping, class volunteering, kids need new shoes, holiday planning…etc). Parents today are stressed out and miserable, and needing 2 parents to work full time is probably somewhat to blame. But the flip side ain’t ros…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 04:06 PM
8

what fun, for women
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:57 PM
3

I think that one of the issues we have with our society is that we can no longer be guided by our elders. Every generation leads a very different life from their parents, and a radically different life from their grandparents. That was simply not the case for most of human history. We lack a model to emulate on what the good life is, keep on trying to re-invent it, and I don't know if we're doing a great job. I was reading about the Hadzabe people of Tanzania and it sounds so cool. Living in sma…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 03:29 AM
2

No way is Harris a screeching HR lady, that was more of a Hillary thing. Harris is just a kooky aunt.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 02:52 AM
3

creepinesses = (forwardness*awkwardness/attractiveness)persistence
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 08:30 PM
5

Research shows that, in most cases, divorce doesn't actually decrease the amount of conflict children experience, because divorced parents continue to argue with each other, there are new tensions with scheduling, and as they enter new relationships, those also come with conflict. But also I'm sorry your parents are making your life so difficult, that really sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 03:56 PM
7

Apparently everyone on reddit is the exception to the rule. Because as a rule, divorce is bad for kids and having a low-key shitty but non-abusive relationship is better than breaking up a home. It's better to just you know, act like an adult, go along to get along and stop the fighting then break up the home. There is abundant research that supports this. Marriage and family life does not exist to maximize the personal fulfillment of mom and dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 03:07 PM
1

oh this is easy! handsome and faithful. my husband makes just under $200k. sure it would be nice to bump over or make it the the 250s i guess but i don’t think $500k is ever in the cards. and i don’t want it to be! because if he worked that much i would probably never see him and spending quality time with him is critically important. plus i need to work for my own mental health. so even if im not the breadwinner its not like im dying to just do pilates all day.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 03:50 AM
1

i haven’t seen any apples to apples data, holding constant the number of working hours. it is true that women tend to do more or less the same amount of domestic labor irrespective of breadwinner status, whereas breadwinner men with SAHM spouses do far less domestic labor compared to men with working spouses. while it’s rare to have working women supporting non working men, when it does happen the non-working men do way less housework than non-working women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 03:34 AM
1

i would say that 20-40 years ago, even in households where both partners worked the same amount, women did more unpaid work. today there are more women doing paid work and more men doing unpaid work.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:49 PM
1

idk most of the men i know work primarily with spreadsheets and are not incurring injuries. families need biological/reproductive labor as well as economic/productive labor to survive. that labor will likely never be equal among the sexes and there’s no reason why it should be. and that’s not because of “women’s preferences” or “hypergamy” it’s simply the birds and the bees
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:45 PM
1

“hoax” is the wrong word. “hoax” implies false evidence for the purposes of deception. i’m sure if you look at time use surveys from the 80s, 90s and even early aughts you will see men did much less housework. men worked more than women on average, but even in relationships where the woman is working as much as the man she would still be doing more housework. i think that’s still an issue to some extent but millennial dads have stepped up remarkably compared to past generations so it’s much bett…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:42 PM
2

the woman will always do more unpaid work due to the disproportionate investment in reproduction, and not due to hypergamy. also mothers who give their babies up for adoption still need the same amount of time to physically recover from childbirth as mothers who don’t
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:21 AM
4

i’m confused am i arguing with you or agreeing with you? the second shift is real but much less of a gendered thing today than in the past, which is good. and for the women who find themselves working disproportionately harder than their husbands they tend to be pretty unhappy, just check out the working moms subreddit. i don’t think it’s the norm anymore but it’s not a totally invalid concern either.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 12:19 AM
11

i do have a double burden. i just don’t shoulder it alone. the second shift is absolutely real and is not a “hoax” it’s just part and parcel of having a young family and working. men who don’t think they should have any domestic responsibilities just because they generate income are best to be avoided at all costs (and yes, even if they are the sole income earners). but luckily i don’t think men are like that so much these days, at least the other fathers in our peer group. my parents generation…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:47 PM
13

women miss work due to their reproductive capacity. men are able to be consistent financial providers completely unencumbered by reproduction (at least physically). asymmetric income generation reflects asymmetric ability to earn income based on reproductive capacity. it’s not “women’s preferences” and “hypergamy”. it’s economics and biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:15 PM
29

the second shift is when i close my laptop, and immediately go to pick up my kids and am caring for them for the next 5 hours. then the third shift is when after they are asleep and i either do more paid work or unpaid work before i crash. but in my marriage my husband pulls his weight. we are both always working - either paid or unpaid. he works more paid hours, i work more unpaid hours, but it’s all going to the same pot which is the wellbeing and health of our family.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:14 PM
19

is it hypergamy that women miss more work opportunities due to pregnancy and childbirth as well, and thus have diminished income earning opportunities compared to males who do not become pregnant, give birth and breastfeed?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:10 PM
2

so…is there anything at all concrete that has been produced from this discussion in the grass world? i am all for talking about ideas, and ideas do matter. people talk about things online, it trickles to the mainstream, and then voila cultural change. but in the years i’ve been on PPD i have never once seen any evidence that there is any broader support for this platform outside of the Extremely Online manosphere. So you know, shit or get off the pot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 03:26 PM
5

all of this talk is just mental masturbation. for everyone who waxes on about the obvious righteousness of mandatory paternity testing i’ve yet to see anything remotely serious come out of it in a non-reddit setting. you’re not serious people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 12:34 PM
1

I wouldn't do that, but I would imagine that her husband was in on the joke and thinks it's funny and is as big of a fan as she is. But if not then yikes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 07:21 PM
1

Let's just say, the prospect of him banging other women when he's away doesn't really keep me up at night, because he probably isn't, and even if he is why would I care about something that is out of sight and out of mind? That doesn't mean I am ok with a consistent side chick. I simply do not believe that he can have a consistent and regular sexual relationship with someone that does not involve feels. Men may be less likely to develop feels over time, but the feels still come for them too. Eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 07:17 PM
3

Yeah no, that is too much. Hoes in different area codes is one thing. But that kind of behavior is just sloppy, and also speaks to a deficit in our home life rather than playing while the cat's away.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:28 AM
3

So I actually share the same thinking as the commenter - if my husband cheated on my on a business trip or something, and I never found out about it...it just doesn't seem like a really big deal. I do not really have an issue with sharing him physically. I definitely do have an issue with sharing him emotionally - I would be just as if not more upset by a non-physical emotional affair than a one night stand. I want a monopoly on his time, affection and resources - at least at far as other women …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 02:45 AM
4

how about this: you can get your wife to do a paternity test, but then if it’s yours and she divorces you, you need to pay alimony forever. if you come at the queen you best not miss
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 12:34 AM
1

Men get into relationships with younger women (if they can) because the younger women are more attractive, generally. And they are able to keep those relationships going because the younger women don't know enough to question the man's BS (in the cases where the older man is a jerk - that is certainly not all cases). Come for the youth and beauty, stay for the manipulation.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 04:00 PM
5

Boys do better / just as well on tests, but girls also tend to be more diligent about homework, etc, which factors in to GPA as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/24 04:27 PM
1

These are hunter gathers. The goal is not to do what's best for society, it's to do what's best for your own DNA. agriculture -> surplus -> intergenerational accumulation of private property -> desire to pass property down to direct heirs -> taboos on female promiscuity
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 01:55 AM
1

100% single and alone rather than two severely autistic kids. normal kids are enough work as it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 07:41 PM
6

there are lots of moving parts to the healthy functioning of a household. yes you need to be able to keep the lights on but the domestic labor, especially with little kids around, is quite a lot. if the parents aren’t doing the labor then they need to outsource it. so why shouldn’t the SAHM get the “salary” that would otherwise be going to a daycare or nanny? divorce laws means that eventually she will get money but it’s not instantaneous. many non-working partners unfortunately can feel financi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 08:26 PM
7

The idea here is that domestic labor is valuable (especially in households with young children), the stay at home parent makes equally important contributions to the household and shouldn't be financially vulnerable, should be able to experience at least some financial independence, and doesn't feel trapped in the marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 07:35 PM
7

He wants his wife to be with him because she wants to be with him, not out of financial necessity.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 07:11 PM
7

because he doesn’t want his wife to feel like a hostage.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 06:10 PM
9

Having a support circle and a comprehensive understanding of family finances is critical for all parents, moms and dads, working or not. I agree that stay-at-home parents should have access to their own bank account that only they can access, ideally that the working parent actively contributes too. If this needs to be kept a secret, then that is an indicator that the working spouse is abusive. Looking into divorce attorneys before considering divorce is wacko behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 03:26 PM
1

social media isn’t real. if it’s harming your mental health you can simply turn it off and make it go away. men are always on here saying “i didn’t realize women were such trash until i started following these crazy bitches on social media” yeah those women are also not representative. do you really want to know the private thoughts of everyone you interact with? are people not entitled to have opinions or ideas that are offensive to you, so long as they keep it to themselves and conduct themsel…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/24 02:53 PM
1

well, there ya go.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 07:23 PM
1

yeah maybe. or maybe after that ridiculous level of physical exertion it becomes more of a mental exercise than a physical one. women typically have better endurance for pain tolerance so that tracks. who knows. we only have the data that are available to us and the rest is conjecture. regardless this is obviously the exception to the observable rule that men are larger stronger and more athletic than women en massed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:55 PM
1

yes i know that, that’s why i said “ultramarathons” in my comment
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 06:34 PM
1

Ok I am citing this and this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 05:27 PM
3

Men are objectively better at all sports that involve objective measurement. For sports that are subjectively scored based on form (e.g. gymnastics, ice-skating), men's and women's competitions are essentially different sports and it is not really an apples to apples comparison. The only sport with objective measurements where women outpace men are ultramarathons, both running and swimming. At that point, it becomes more about mindset and endurance. Women are not better at cooking and cleaning. …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:59 PM
2

i think you are understating the burdens of modern childcare. according to timekeeping studies working mothers today spend as much time on average in direct childcare as they did in the 1970s. the rise of educational / professional services for childcare only exists because we have nuked the community model of childrearing where young children essentially roved in packs all afternoon either not at all or very lightly supervised, if not by their parents than by neighbors, aunts, grandparents etc.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:24 PM
5

one random summer day i gave my phone number to a cute guy at a concert who i had chatted with briefly. That was in 2008, now we are married with two kids and i feel like the luckiest lady in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/24 04:13 PM
–

in my case it was mommy’s money. or more specifically, mommy’s daddy’s money
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:51 PM
–

also serves as a class signifier
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:51 PM
–

lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:50 PM
5

because in SEA he would be a moving target for sex workers. probably everywhere but even more so is SEA. i want him to build courage and confidence and not come home sending “the love of his life” money while she collects from a bunch of other foreign jamoaks
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 11:01 PM
8

well asking mom for dating advice at 25 is a bit bleak. if anything i would have hoped to have helped him out before (or more appropriately, his dad). but in this scenario i would encourage him to travel, maybe even front him some money. go out, have adventures, be bold, meet people and forge close connections and then never see them again. and for a while too, like 3 months minimum. maybe some long term hiking/backpacking. just not to southeast asia lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 10:50 PM
–

its not how attractive she is objectively but maintaining the same level of attractiveness / care to appearance as she has when you get married. so now massive weight gain, for example. but adjusted for age - if she’s a 6 when you get married she’s a 6 compared to other 60 year olds when she’s 60. but it’s whatever you can pull to begin with, if that makes sense
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 10:38 PM
–

Q4M: you have 100 points to allocate on attributes for your future wife based on what is important to you. the attributes are physical attractiveness stays constant, adjusted for age (maintains level of fitness at marriage, doesn’t “let herself go) sexual enthusiasm, libido matches that at the time of marriage (she bangs you) traditionally feminine domestic labor - cooking, cleaning, childrearing, keeps a nice house income generation you can split the points however you want so if all are equall…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 10:28 PM
3

if someone else is taking care of the kids, i will stay home and cook and clean and make sure everyone has fresh laundry and a mint on the pillow. If someone else is dealing with cooking and cleaning and laundry then me and the kids are headed to the museum and the zoo and that playground and story hour at the library and having a great time. but staying home and trying to do both is very intense and constant. no breaks unless the kids are sleeping and even then there’s housework to do during na…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 01:31 PM
4

I’ll totally do domestic labor. I’m just not going to cook and clean while watching the kids all day by myself. Hell no. But if someone else wants to take on the house or the kids then sign me up.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/24 02:44 AM
1

high status men and women have lots of orbiters. Men have sex and sometimes impregnate theirs (though i don’t think that applies to Musk as i believe he was married / in relationships sequentially with the mothers of his children)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 12:41 PM
5

and not all females have uteruses. but a critical mass of them do and that stops most people from being pedantic about it. yes western women have specific privileges but so do western men. western people are simply privileged over the rest of the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 12:06 AM
2

i like all people only have the ability to speak from my perspective. it’s called standpoint epistemology.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:59 PM
–

just so y’all know i’m always only talking about USA/global west. consider yourselves disclaimed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:57 PM
3

USA baby. same as over half the people in this sub. >90% of the sub is from US/UK/Australia/Europe. and as such the discourse represents those experiences. i see no reason why the discussions here need apply to sex and gender dynamics outside this context.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:54 PM
2

My toddler has been sick for 5 DAYS and he will probably be home again tomorrow and i’m going to lose my damn mind. If we had a barrage of aunties and cousins and friends and grandparents in and out of our house playing with our kids we could you know, work and do housework, etc. But the nuclear family is atomized, we’re on our own here, and it’s all on parents to watch and engage our kids on top of managing our households and supporting them financially. we’re lucky because we live close to my …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:49 PM
4

Due to male / female biology there is asymmetry of desire. Men desire women, in general, more than women desire men. That asymmetry of desire can translate into some pretty nice deferential treatment, if the woman is willing to lean into it, and most are. Childbirth sucks but we live in a world now where most women have fewer than 2 children, at least in the West, so it’s not causing the same amount of pain and suffering to our sex as it once did (though pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding i…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 11:36 PM
4

or maybe propensity towards being an abuser has nothing to do with physical appearance
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 10:18 PM
3

High sex drive women are probably more likely to to become mothers and then maintain healthy relationships with their husbands
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 07:25 AM
4

Not exactly love at first sight but pretty close. We met at a concert and I gave him my number because I was attracted to him. That was 15 years ago and now we have two kids. Obviously as we got to know each other our connection grew but the attraction was very intense and it’s still going pretty strong.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 11:02 PM
1

that sounds lovely.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 06:07 PM
1

60% US based on the demographics survey, and >90% global north (US, UK, Canada, Australia or Europe). If someone is presenting a viewpoint as being totally normal without representing reality in the US or the West generally, it bears mentioning.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:12 PM
3

Where do you live where this is normal? The US? A city? Coastal or flyover state?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:36 PM
6

women don’t want to be married to men who do nothing for them sexually. at least not ideally.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 01:50 AM
16

It's sexist to assume all men are predators, though young women need to be taught to take reasonable precautions to avoid predators. When she is of age, I will tell my daughter to avoid becoming intoxicated in mixed company, and to only be alone with a man she trusts enough to have dinner with her parents. Is that sexist against men? I don't think so at all. If there are women who are keeping their kids from playing at this teacher's house with his kids because they are worried he is a rapist, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:44 PM
–

If a man has children and is unmarried, is he not, quite literally, a single father?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 04:33 PM
1

…when there’s a single mom, is there not also a single dad, in more or less equal number? there are more single mother lead households than single father lead child households holds. but if the mom isn’t with the dad then the dad is also out there, single, and still being a father
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/24 01:31 AM
1

in my experience i see more single moms getting together with dads who already have kids more so than single dads. i am not aware of any data to confirm or deny my claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 11:05 PM
1

Biological father may not be a great candidate, or why else would the woman being trying to pass it on to the cuck? He's likely married or not suited for parenthood and may not want the kid. Should he now be forced to be the primary caregiver of a strange 5 year old he doesn't want? Who is that helping? Grandparents are great but not always capable of being primary providers. When men are incarcerated for failing to provide materially for their children I think it's typically deadbeats who are n…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:29 PM
7

"People must approve and validate all of my life's choices, otherwise it's oppression"
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:23 PM
3

I feel like most of the time single dads are dating single moms and creating blended families, no? Is that also retroactive cuckoldry?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:22 PM
4

Any kid is better off without a mom like that anyway. I agree that there should be legal consequences for paternity fraud but making an orphan out of children is not necessarily great. Foster care is likely not better than a crazy mom who is not otherwise negligent or abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 02:21 PM
0

vegan food is often highly processed. vegan cheese has like 10,000 ingredients. typically when people are talking about the benefits of a plat-based diet it is in relation to plant based whole foods (as in not ultra processed - beans, lentils, veggies, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:20 PM
0

plant based diet and vegan are not the same thing. plant based diet means whole foods not manufactured garbage that a lot of vegans eat
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 12:07 PM
2

It's giving "video game enthusiast." I get it. I loved the Sims for many years.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/24 04:46 PM
3

like heavy makeup maybe. light makeup, absolutely not. go on tiktok and watch no makeup makeup videos. they are extraordinary
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 02:54 PM
1

OP specifically means women under 25
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 01:33 PM
31

Feminism was already happening in reality while feminist thinkers were writing and publishing in the mid-20th century. The reduced role of male physical strength in income provision, birth control pill and other advances of a post-industrial capitalist consumerist society (disposal diapers, dishwashers, laundry machine, pre-pared foods) liberated women from the home just as much if not more than Betty Friedan and Andrea Dworkin.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 07:56 PM
1

Extremely spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:58 PM
0

I think a better explainer of this phenomenon is the greater male variability hypothesis. Women tend to aggregate around the mean. The design of the female body is more conservative because a species needs almost all of the female to procreate to keep going. Reproduction is much more taxing for females and takes up a lot of our energy (both in terms of time investment as well as physical reality). While male sex hormones are quite dominant in the body, the actual reproductive investment is much …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:51 PM
4

As a late 30s women (married with kids) here is my perspective: I have seen some of my friends pass over men who were probably good enough, and would have given them marriage and family (which they ostensibly want, quite badly). But they are just so used to options that it blinds their judgement on when to jump on the right opportunity. And then the opportunity is gone. I don't think it's super common, but it does happen. And this is the logical result of what happens when marriage is about find…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 06:56 PM
4

I think it’s both. Third spaces increase social proximity and typically the “average man” comes across much better when he’s a friend of a friend vs a Tinder profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:55 PM
4

I was just thinking the other day about how the decline of cousins is probably negatively impacting people’s ability to date and form new relationships. Cousins are a great built in network that help young people and provide and “in” to new connections. As people have smaller families networks of cousins keep getting smaller and smaller. This coupled with the fact that we are encouraged to move away from home to maximize educational and financial opportunity, often never to return. So whatever s…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:52 PM
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lol ok I did not know that's what it was called! The only snoo I know about is the electronic infant bassinet...
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:37 PM
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snoo?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:17 PM
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we will hopefully hit a plateau. ideally around 1.5 fertility rate. it might even rebound a little bit. but i don’t think we are going to get back to replacement any time soon. a lot of countries have been actively trying to get people to have more babies and so far no policies are working.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:42 AM
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birth rates have been going down steadily for the last 50 years especially in developed nations. so yeah, no reason to think the trends won’t continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:37 AM
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i had it calculated once and it was 21% i think but i’ve had two babies since and even though my weight is the same my skin is much softer so it certainly looks like i have more body fat, so probably closer to 25 now. husband i would say is 20-22%
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:34 AM
–

man this Daniel Nee character is quite unsympathetic to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 04:14 AM
2

I mean I guess it would have been more accurate to say: if a woman has 10 men who are interested in her, she will string along the top 3, and maybe sleep with the top 2 and finally settle on her top 1, while still reaching out occasionally to 2-4 for validation if she feels she's not getting it from 1, and may even cheat. if a man has 10 women who are interested in him, he will get a blowjob from #7-9, sleep with #1-6 but only if #4-6 is putting a TON of effort into making themselves available, …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 03:00 PM
2

it’s all about the pool available to them. but yes men in general are less choosy than women. a man with more options will be choosier than a man with fewer options. so it’s “lower relative standards” not “no standards” (although sometimes it is no standards)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 01:01 PM
3

crushes are fantasies. women also have rape fantasies and it doesn’t mean that getting jumped in a parking lot is like christmas. in reality women are not wanting to get pounded by a bunch of different dudes on the regular. there’s billions of women in the worlds so i’d imagine there are millions who are outliers but that is the general trend.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 12:59 PM
6

i mean everyone has crushes, sure. or like, young people do i suppose (im in my 30s and i can’t imagine nursing a celebrity crush that sounds very silly)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:15 AM
1

the company you keep. i can’t imagine knowing any woman who would post this, it would be cringe. but if you’re friends with a bunch of young hot under-educated women who spend a lot of time and money on their appearance it makes more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:13 AM
5

i do not think they would at all, because that’s not how female sexuality operates. they want quality not quantity. the woman’s dream would be 10 men all vying to compete with each other to demonstrate their affection and devotion, and then picking the winner. women don’t dream of the harem.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:11 AM
2

you think only .001% of men have slept with more than 10 women? the thing is, most women only show interest for what like a dozen men within their lives? whereas men will signal their sexual availability to hundreds if not thousands of women if they can. and that’s how these figures get so lopsided.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:09 AM
6

it’s a hypothetical. in the real world men will do what they need to do to secure their most preferred women, including fidelity. but in a vacuum where they knew there would be no consequences they would bang away.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:07 AM
3

i wonder didn’t China F* the system with the one child policy? it is so much pressure to put on one individual to have to care for 4 elders…heck even caring for one aging parent on your own is tough
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 02:05 AM
20

if a woman has 10 men who are interested in her, she will pick the best one if a man has 10 women who are interested in him, he will pick all 10
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 02:02 AM
3

any domestic chores that are not completed by someone in the home are indeed the "real jobs" of others
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:21 PM
2

There is a wide variety of quality with regards to childcare. Some of these places are really just baby warehouses. Some of them are beautiful, nurturing environments. Cost isn't perfectly correlated with quality but it's not far off. And people in low density areas may have limited options. We're lucky to send our kids to high quality daycare but it's $$$
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:18 PM
4

Great, please come to my house and do it for free. Much thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 07:14 PM
1

If someone's priority is maximizing their options, then I would recommend that person not get married. They can get married, and they will likely fail. And I'll say "told ya so"
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 06:13 PM
2

marriage has built in escape valve, and the people who abuse that should not have gotten married in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 05:30 PM
2

Well no, being single is the ultimate optionality. And no fault divorce is what happens when people thought they were capable of committing and failed. But hey, at least they tried.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 05:20 PM
4

if you’re interest is in optionally, marriage is not for you
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 04:58 PM
1

i think prenups make sense when two people are entering the marriage with disproportional assets and are stupid and kind of mean spirited if you’re both broke / similarly off. i might be wrong but i don’t prenups can protect household income, which is marital property. although i have a trust i inherited from my grandparents and much to my mothers frustration i did not get a prenup when i married because im a puppy-eyed idiot who believes in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 04:56 PM
1

personality: competency, good judgement, humor, intelligence, decisiveness physical: tall, broad shoulders, lean build, thick or curly hair (ideally at least 2-3 of those), and nice to look at facially
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:32 PM
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sure of course sex is important. but it’s not a reward that women grant or deny. it’s the most fundamental form of intimacy between, ideally or at least in its highest form, two loving and caring partners. you’re not contradicting my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 01:18 PM
-1

reading the room = social competency. maybe it’s overused in 2024 because it’s in such short supply. are you thinking of any specific examples where people did not use the words rape to describe a female sexually abusing a minor male? (of like, the last 10 years?) maybe there was a time when we were pathetically unenlightened about this but attitudes change. heck there was a movie recently with Julianne Moore about the after math of a mary-kay laturneau situation that was all about how damaging …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 12:12 PM
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i’m the only women he invests his time, affection and resources into. what else do i need? if he had a mistress poor thing would be deeply neglected lol. he puts his time to me and our family and i consider myself a lucky lady, i get the best of him. if he lusts for some other women then honestly whatever i get plenty of his lust too, our bedroom is alive and well. im the one and only
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:27 AM
-2

what is your objective with this line of questioning? has any of this come up in your life IRL or are you just ruminating on hypotheticals? perhaps this quote from Razib Khan can provide you with some clarity: “I took at faith value liberal egalitarian feminist presuppositions that men and women should just treat each other the same. And that caused some issues. I got rebuked for opening doors when i was younger so i stopped doing that, and then i get yelled at for not doing it. so i was like “w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:23 AM
–

i am “the one and only” in the way that matters
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:16 AM
–

adult women don’t have fangirl obsessions
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:15 AM
–

i’m the only one he makes coffee for in the morning. i’m the only one he shows up for, the only one he takes out the recycling for. if he wants to wank it to a pornstar or heck even a cute girl he saw earlier that day at whole foods that’s his business and in no way threatens the primacy i have in his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:09 AM
3

the world is big and the sexes don’t act as a monolith. having one’s own set or reasoning and moral compass to guide you is helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:04 AM
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sex is not a reward system that women dole out. that kind of thinking is not beneficial to anyone and serves only to embitter you. that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take loneliness and lack of meaningful relationship among the sexes seriously, we absolutely should. especially since, as you state, young men are a force to be reckoned with and if they don’t have an outlet or can’t tape into meaningful benefits from society, they are a menace.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 05:00 AM
9

it’s very different to maintain the status quo vs organize with the explicit goal of making life worse for some loved ones in order to harm other loved ones. and while i’m sure some of those fathers are great a lot of them are hot garbage. it’s not like all cultures have a history of honor killings. under no circumstance would i join a coalition of women who explicitly state their intention is to “take men’s rights away.”
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 04:02 AM
–

Flea (from red hot chili peppers) is 5’6
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 02:46 AM
0

i have 2 and i agree - the birth rate issue is cultural not economic. middle class standards of parenting are astronomically high. we need to chill in the childhood arms race and let kids be kids. like youth travel sports? car seats until they are 10? it’s a lot. we need people to opt out and raise kids free range. and then maybe if we can demonstrate a parenting model that isn’t so labor intensive and miserable seeming people will want to have more children.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 02:37 AM
11

which rights exactly? and what coalition of people is going to be taking away the rights? see the problem is that when men desire and get women and reproduce with them there’s a very good chance they will end up having a daughter or two. men might talk a bit chauvinist game when it comes to restricting the options of their prospective mates but their tunes change significantly when it’s the future of their daughters in the mix. maybe if it’s abortion, or even birth control you can get fathers on…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 02:27 AM
1

the declining birth rate is happening but is multi-factorial. it is certainly related to women having more options but cannot be entirely (or maybe at all) explained by a lack of monogamy. polygamy is not replacing monogamy and monogamy is still alive and well. but what has precipitously declined is life long monogamy, replaced with serial monogamy. so it’s more of a rebrand than a sea change honestly who cares if polygamy was the norm for much of civilization; in the West we are really more so …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 02:21 AM
1

love is a verb it’s what you do for someone over time. nobody loves someone they have just started dating. love is being there for someone time and time again, being reliable, putting their needs above yours, valuing time spent with someone, delighting in their smile, working on yourself to be better for that person. and yes, love includes reciprocity. women have an asymmetrically high role in reproduction. their gametes are literally more valuable. they also have more limited reproductive windo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 12:10 PM
2

i think it’s more of a red flag that i participate in PPD then that i use it as a platform to gush about my wonderful husband
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/24 02:48 AM
2

In 2006 Anderson examined non-paternity rates from 67 published studies. Non-paternity rates for men who were judged to have high paternity confidence ranged from 1.9% in the U.S. and Canada, 1.6% in Europe, and 2.9% elsewhere. Men with “high and unknown” levels of paternity confidence exhibited a 3.9% non-paternity rate. In contrast, for men in studies of disputed paternity, who were considered to have low paternity confidence, the rates of non-paternity were higher – 29% in the U.S. and Canada…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 09:31 PM
4

of course it does. certainly legally. as well as statistically. and i would argue emotionally emotionally as well. it’s only logical to feel differently towards someone who you cannot disentangle your life from without the presence of lawyers.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 07:37 PM
1

yeah, got it. i get why the subreddit has rules on race baiting but unfortunately it is obscuring the very real fact that paternity fraud is not like lightening, it does not hit randomly, and certain populations that are plagued by all sorts of issues disproportionately are also plagued by paternity fraud disproportionately. it’s that silly kind of thinking like when people say “i could never live in the US, the gun violence!” yes it’s true we have more than our fair share of horrific random gun…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 07:24 PM
3

wife is a more committed relationship. the most committed in fact. different bar different standards
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 07:12 PM
4

can’t ask for a divorce if your not married. it’s extremely offensive to ask your wife for a paternity test and it’s extremely stupid to sign a birth certificate for a child who is born to someone who is not your wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 06:31 PM
3

no significant variation? are you looking at Table 1? the average rate of non paternity in the US is probably <1.9 if you exclude black men in michigan. use your eyes and look at the data. in populations that are specially not black and latino and in studies that are from the last 30 years the non paternity rate is much lower. i don’t find it surprising that there are differences by race and ethnicity, or that non paternity used to be higher than it is now, but seems like convenient information …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 02:00 PM
7

Table 1 is quite telling. Maybe you should update your up with the average not including the last 3 rows.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 01:38 PM
16

i would be very curious how those numbers differ between married and unmarried couples. almost half of births are to unmarried women, so to be including language around women and their husbands in your OP is out of step with reality. i don’t understand why a man would sign a birth certificate for a child born from a woman who is not his wife without a paternity test. edit to add: conclusion of the article states “The median nonpaternity rate for the high-paternity-confidence sample is 1.7%” so i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 01:05 PM
1

people don’t stay together for the kids once the kids leave the house. for most people who get married, marriage ends in death.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/24 11:42 PM
2

south korea will certainly be butchered culturally as its population shrinks and its language dies but i doubt north korea will have much to do with it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/24 03:32 AM
2

well you can’t force people to be liberated now can you. i also can’t imagine why any man would subject himself to this. but i guess that’s his own choice as well. seems like these people deserve each other
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:32 PM
1

yeah, i think you are looking at history with rose colored glasses. and like of course people don’t want to position themselves outwardly as washed up losers? i just don’t understand the hand ringing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 03:40 AM
1

Weddings have always been about bringing people together and showing off wealth. Have you ever read the description of a medieval royal wedding?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 08:12 PM
1

historically women married who their fathers told them to marry. now that women have more mate choice they aren’t really oppressed so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/24 01:26 PM
2

that’s true i don’t understand the freedom mindset. i think liberalism run amuck is uniquely responsible for fucking up life at a rather basic level. case and point, the destruction of the family, which was the topic of my initial. too many people saying “kids are too much work i value my freedom mindset too much to be bothered. and if you want to sacrifice and have a family then good luck doing it on your own not my problem” that’s the real freedom mindset right there. but if we want to take a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 03:32 AM
3

Things happen that don't reflect personal responsibility. Disasters, economic downturns. Yes it helps a lot to be industrious with decent executive function and not addicted to drugs. But let's not kid ourselves with how much of life is in our control, and instead be grateful for what we have, and be generous with others to the extent that we can.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 02:56 AM
3

men focus on work and income generation after kids. for some that might not represent a change but for others it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:49 AM
3

yeah you say that until you yourself need something. we live in a society. we gotta watch out for each other. let’s all be nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:48 AM
8

But you can't chase your dreams while raising children. They are fundamentally at odds. When you are a parent, you have to put your kids first. For lots of couples that means either both parents earning income to support the family, or one person focused on maximizing income while the other supports the family. Dreams ain't got nothing to do with it. The problem is parenthood is a lot of work and sacrifice. We need to make raising kids more fun, ensure that parents have a true village. But that'…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:46 PM
2

Well if we don't social security and Medicare are probably going to go belly-up. The social safety net only works with a critical mass of workers to dependents.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:18 PM
4

Social skills are critical for basically all facets of life. Our fractured, atomized society would have you think that being a someone who works as a lone genius is the key to success. It's not. People give opportunities - social, romantic, and career-wise - to people who give off confident, competent and trustworthy energy. People they like to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/24 07:16 PM
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ok i will fly over the part where you are equivocating paying alimony with being raped (which is truly disgusting). it’s about proportionality. women who are convinced that men are dangerous rapists out to get them / bear pilled are seriously lacking a solid foundational understanding of the proportionality of the risk of SA. as is the person i am responding too. an overactive threat detection is not a healthy way to experience the world or relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 08:12 PM
3

Ok in that case, then I think like 95% of men would be down. Women I'm not sure...maybe closer 50/50? I do think some women, like myself, would be turned off by a completely non-possessive partner, but that's also heavily cultural.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 07:48 PM
–

But they did contribute to it. They contributed to the household. It is the household that is acquiring wealth in a marriage, not an individual. That's literally the point of getting married, to form a single functioning social and economic unit. Sure there are shitty free-riding bums out there. They are best to be avoided. It' definitely risky for someone who is exceptional. But, uh, as Louis CK would say "you're not an athlete" so less of a problem for the plebs. But likely the ball player lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 07:16 PM
2

I wouldn't want to commit myself to a partner who would "allow" me to be promiscuous. I want him to be bothered by the thought of me with another man. I think my husband would be fine with sleeping with another woman were I to truly give him a hall pass and mean it. But he says that even if I said it was OK, he thinks that knowing me, I wouldn't actually be OK with it (and he is correct in that assessment), so he wouldn't do it even if I gave him the go ahead, both to avoid hurting me and also t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 06:04 PM
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Yes and I agree, that does happen. I'm definitely more comfortable with a couple deciding to call it quits when they are empty nesters and still hate each other. But I do also kind of admire couples who just decide that they are committed to being married and just end up living separate lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 05:26 PM
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Romantic love ebbs and flows. Marital happiness dips after couples have children and then rebounds and then some once children are grown. But you gotta not quit to get that payoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 03:57 PM
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Marital assets, yes. Assets accrued during a marriage are marital property. Splitting of marital assets /= as forcing another partner to "pay" for someone after divorce, that is alimony. If you own a business with someone 50/50, and that business is dissolved, then the assets are also split. It's not like the sales lead gets to keep everything and the person doing ops gets nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 02:48 PM
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Are you referring to the ~10% of divorce where alimony is awarded? That's a lot of concern over such an unlikely outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 02:12 PM
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Gays fought for legal rights sure, but what they really wanted was the social validation. That their relationships were just as important and meaningful as straight relationships, and worthy of celebration and protection. That a gay married couple is just as much a family as a straight married couple.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 02:10 PM
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I don't oppose no-fault divorce in that I think it should be illegal. But I am generally opposed to it. Marriage is only as strong as we give it power and meaning. Stepping out of marriages willy-nilly weakens the institution for everyone. I would like to see an option to have like a super-marriage where divorce either isn't an option, or there's a much more stringent divorce penalty enacted on the couple, but that also provides better benefits/incentives for those who stay together.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/24 02:00 PM
2

honestly i think two specific policy initiatives could help here: free matchmaking services. not OLD with an actual person meeting and pre vetting candidates. national compulsory services for young people. all people ages 18-20 spend 2 years in service with other young people in small, diverse cohorts (think ~30 people)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 10:41 PM
2

well i have 2 children so i guess so. i do like knowing that i am part of a chain of life unbroken from the beginning of time. that’s pretty neat. but i wouldn’t say i had them to pass on my genes it’s more because i wanted the experience of having a family with my husband. but genes are important as i don’t think i would be keen on adopting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 04:47 AM
2

yes but it allows progressive women to be LGBTQIA++ while still being straight
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 02:38 PM
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doooooo it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:36 AM
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i’m cool with it. i suppose by that logic i would also be ok with realistic deep fake porn (so long as its not of a specific woman / for the purposes of humiliating her)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:32 AM
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people make all sorts of bad choices. drug addicts make bad choices too. i still have empathy for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:31 AM
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i would imagine any woman involved in pornography has a much higher than average amount of despair
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:30 AM
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my only issue with porn is that i feel bad for the pornstars. i mean yeah its their choice but it seems weird to wank it to someone else’s despair. but such is the male libido, no judgement.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 02:19 AM
1

sure but…who cares? like maybe someone thinks differently then what they say but why fixate on it if it doesn’t actual shift the way you interact with that person? like maybe all of my coworkers really hate me and talk shit when i’m not around. but if we have a good working relationship and get along cordially why would i fixate on any #thoughtcrimes they might have behind closed doors?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 08:32 PM
1

of course women don’t care about how much effort you put in. nobody cares about how much effort you put in other than your kindergarten teacher. effort is erroneous for adults RESULTS are what matters but yeah self improvement is a scam because everyone (including women) is looking to self improve and the answer is it’s super simple: eat less, sleep more, drink more water, eat your vegetables, move your body, put yourself out there, have gratitude, have patience, have grit. but it’s really fucki…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 07:16 PM
2

i think only an autistic person would put more value on abstract thought shared on the world wide web over their day to day interactions with people. if learning how women think and feel online is helpful to you in terms of living a more fulfilling, better life day to day then that’s great. but if you’re just obsessing over the “truth serum” that is online anonymity without deriving any concrete meaning or benefit then that’s a giant waste of time and energy. i could turn off my phone and never …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 06:55 PM
3

so we’re talking about 2 things here: women who don’t work outside the home to raise kids and keep house (which describes millions of american women) and social media grifters who create a pretend aesthetic of what it means to be a “tradwife” feminists have a great deal of support for the former and basically all women except wannabe influencers think the later are stupid. and men don’t care because men will essentially never condemn hot women who position themselves as pleasers. the article you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/24 12:44 AM
7

By "traditional wives and mothers" I mean women who don't earn income and spend all their productive hours caring for a household and children. I don't see women really coming for women who do that. In my view that is not the same thing as a #tradwife which is mainly a social media cottage core aesthetic layered with some biblical quotes and faux-msteading (a clumsy portmanteau I just invented for "fake homesteading")
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 08:13 PM
6

Men have a larger reproductive window. If their marriage ends, and they get remarried to a younger women they can have a new family. Not as simple for women, as their reproductive window ends much more definitively.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:55 PM
11

Well, feminism is the OG tradwife backlash. Why would it surprise you that, with the re-surgency of trad-wifery, it's the same crowd taking issue? Edit to add: But seriously folks, the issue with tradwife content is that it's stupid. being a trad wife is hard fucking work. it is not aesthetic. You are not baking bread from scratch while your young children destroy your house and fight with each other, unless someone else is watching them, and that's not very trad-wifey now is it? Tradwifing mean…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:38 PM
1

Yep. It's because we killed religion and are now trying to fill a religion sized whole in our hearts. Can also be filled with Science or Being Kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:39 AM
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It's true though. Basically every porn star was molested. Sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 02:13 AM
1

it’s not to make kids dumber it’s just daycare full stop. i wouldn’t go as far to ascribe any great intentionality
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 03:31 AM
4

I would imagine the grand majority of single earner homes include children, and probably young children who spend no or little time in paid childcare. Rich men can afford trophy wives and all sorts of nice play things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 07:39 PM
2

i don’t think attraction truly changes with age, but women have more sensitive bull shit / fuckboy detectors that they develop with experience. Rob Henderson recently posted some really interesting thoughts on attraction to dark triad traits / dangerous men on his substack. specifically looked to how primates (chimps) reliably rate with the most aggressive males in the hopes that these males will not kill their own offspring (infanticide is quite common among chimps, something like 1/7). not tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 07:21 PM
0

i’ve been reading a parenting book about how to get kids involved in the daily chores of housekeeping. one of the tricks is that their contribution actually has to be meaningful. sure they can play with the spoon but it’s going to have a much bigger impact if they actually use the spoon to stir the pot. similarity sports are great but ultimately it’s recreation and for all except the extremely talented doesn’t actually make an impact
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 04:03 AM
1

There's nothing better than being in a good relationship and nothing worse than being in a bad relationship. And while we don't completely control whether or not our relationship is good or bad, our actions and attitudes do have an enormous impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 02:06 AM
1

yes but it’s not very prestigious, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 11:30 PM
22

There is only one 20-something guy at my company. He is tall but otherwise somewhat average build. Nice guy, intelligent, but floundering a bit at work and isn't advancing as quickly as I know he would like to be. Yesterday my company had a team building event. We competed on different puzzles, trivia, party games etc. There was just one event where physical strength was a factor and he just completely crushed everyone. It wasn't even close. It was one of those games where the longer you win the…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 07:25 PM
3

women are extremely selfish and would happily burn down civilization as long as they get their short term, hedonistic desires met. Women are neither more nor less selfish than men. I have 2 kids so I'm doing my part. But society needs to do it's part and support parents, mothers and families. It's a two-way street. If women are unwilling to reproduce the culture, then it's time for the culture to take a cold hard look at itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 05:58 PM
1

or better yet, avoid abusers in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 04:01 AM
11

haha well he met me when i was bopping around! but i just meant as in going out and about because im old lol
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 03:41 AM
14

very rarely. when i was bopping around the city in my 20s maybe a few times a year, at most half a dozen. now basically never but im a married work from home recluse.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 12:13 AM
2

dear god please kill me if i ever advise my son to fulfill a woman’s desires
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 07:59 PM
1

people who are ugly have a harder time in life…the jump to “and therefore women are terrible” is some pretty impressive gymnastics
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 03:40 AM
2

the “leader of the pack” who runs a motorcycle gang doesn’t have dark triad qualities? never underestimate the value of common sense in social relations
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 10:38 PM
2

Thank you for sharing your perspective on this, I appreciate it. I guess what I mean when I say "girls are more flexible" is that girls are very social. They are more emotionally in-tune / sensitive to each other (they can also use that for malicious purposes and be very cruel). But essentially girls will be able to find ways to relate to one another and develop appropriate social skills in an activity, be it sports, dance, theatre, music, whatever. Boys are comparatively socially inept. Sports …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 08:54 PM
1

Ha!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 07:52 PM
1

do men still make music mixes for girls they like? when i was in my teens/ early 20s (15 years ago) that was the way you could tell a guy liked you. spend a few days talking, then we gives you a mix CD. if the mix is sufficient then you’d be making out a couple days later. has spotify ruined this? is there a comparable gesture?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 05:23 PM
3

yes, this is actually a good example of hypergamy! nice job. some pairings are indeed hypergamous as you have so nicely illustrated here. most of the time it’s just people from the same background pairing off with each other (assertive mating). but both are definitely a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:28 PM
2

i don’t have any hard data to back it up. just a feel based on personal experience and my understanding of sex differences. girls seem to be doing quite well in todays environment by all counts. boys seem to be floundering (this is based on actual research, for example the work of Richard Reeves). i think boys need their own strategies for flourishing and that they benefit from more structure and physical outlet which is uniquely offered by team sports. maybe it’s because it apes the warrior tra…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:20 PM
3

Thanks! That's really interesting. My daughter is 3.5 so of particularly interest to me haha. By those counts she's doing so well. I was very much the "classic bully victim" as a kid (poor emotional regulation). In my 30s and I'm still working on it...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 03:31 AM
2

Yeah, they are still very young so all just conjecture for now. But that is the plan!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 02:05 AM
6

Nowadays girls obsess about hot boys over babies and marriage. Ah, as opposed to the good ol' days when women obsessed about mechanical engineering.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:41 AM
2

I'm curious, what to you are the signs that a kid will do well / not well with regards to socialization at age 4?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:39 AM
7

I have a son and a daughter. My daughter is pretty active, she does gymnastics now and maybe that will continue. If she wants to do sports she can too. I'd like her to do one activity a semester be it sports, art, music, what have you. Same with my son, but I plan to encourage him much more strongly to do team sports. My husband did a bit of team sports but quit early in high school and regrets it. It is so fundamentally critical for male socialization. Competency, strength, competition, teamwor…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 01:38 AM
1

I have a high value man. I'm a high value woman. And that's hypergamy because...women bad. We are both high earners and we're both attractive. Maybe it's hypergamy because I'm 5'4 instead of 5'6?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 06:21 PM
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good ppl of ppd in LTRs, how many of these criteria does your relationship fit: ⁠Both people are genuinely, viscerally attracted to each other, both physically and personality-wise. ⁠Both people genuinely respect and admire each other, both as a partner and as an individual. ⁠Both people have a deep emotional connection with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 03:00 AM
4

why is that hypergamy? i am a average height but he likes petite women. i also make 6 figures. and im sure i have the female equivalent of a well endowed member. he’s good looking for sure but not a model nor am i. he’s just tall, well endowed and financially successful (though we were dating 7 years before he hit 6 figures.) he’s great. so am i. so if the witch admits she’s a with she’s a witch. and if she denies she’s a witch then of course she’s still a witch because witches lie. very sound l…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:59 AM
3

and all this time i thought men were attracted to the 18-22 year olds the most cause it made their peen hard. but really it’s because they are worried about old broads having childbirth complications. you know they have continued to research pregnancy and birth complications since 1975. the most dangerous age is after 40 by far by <20 and 35-40 are more or less on par. 20-34 seems to be the healthy pregnancy and birth sweet spot.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:38 AM
3

we meet all 3 relationship criteria and he is indeed a 6+ in all of those categories. i mean he’s handsome and kind, im lucky. we keep if fun, we keep fit. but we’re like, definitely very normal people. i would gander that most couples do meet those 3 criteria, at least most of the time (LTRs can ebb and flow). so even if your criteria are standardize you have no way to assess how many couples fit them or you would likely claim that those who say it applies to them are lying, which would make it…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:28 AM
1

so as much as i like this, i think the point is that women don’t need to do anything to attract a man (once they get the man, and then especially if they bear him children that becomes another story…it’s why it ends at “happily ever after” and not “and then she spent 12 year pregnant or breastfeeding or waking up 3 times a night to care for young children”)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:10 AM
4

this is accurate. the women here won’t admit it but it’s true as can be determined by the “lived experience” of all the men who have shown the wrong kind of emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 02:07 AM
4

TIL that my man is top 0.3%. your criteria of “genuinely fulfilling relationship” is unfalsifiable and thus a question of feeling, not something that can be debated, as you seem to be asserting it mainly on vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 01:59 AM
1

if the reproduction is not consensual than how much power do women really have?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 01:56 AM
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money is big but i also think having two parents / parental figures for a child is really critical. 2 adults who live in your house and care for you on a daily or near daily basis. i can only imagine how stressful it would be to feel like everything is on your shoulders.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 01:51 AM
1

i think it tickles him. i do generally tell him when it happens. he likes to know that others admire what he has. he knows i don’t dress provocatively nor do i solicit attention so he’s not jealous.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 01:25 AM
1

it’s nice to be complimented by strangers. i wouldn’t like strange men yelling threatening vulgarities at me. but when i get catcalled it’s usually something nice like “you are absolutely gorgeous!” or “wow, you have a stunning smile. have a good day” or just a simple “hey red! have a good one red”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 01:13 AM
1

i’m ok with that
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 03:24 PM
2

not at all, it makes me extremely uncomfortable. if a man feels he has received sufficient IOIs from me that he can be so bold as to flirt then i feel guilty for disrespecting my husband. i do kind of enjoy a respectful catcall from a distance, especially as im a mom of 2 in my mid 30s. my husband likes it when i dress sexy out with him because he likes to show me off, so i do it for him (i don’t hate it either - people can look i guess but if they were to try to talk to me i would die)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/24 03:22 PM
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yeah that’s tough. genetically you have been given the short end of the stick. but you still have a choice to devote your life to bitterness or take responsibility for your own mental wellbeing. seriously get offline, get off dating apps, stop thinking about women. read good books, eat real food, exercise, meditate, sleep and drink water. do some masculine physical activities like woodchopping or boxing. living well and not stewing in anger will get you so much farther than ruminating in this mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 04:45 AM
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you seem very unhappy. how is this ideology serving you? try meditating.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 04:18 AM
9

did these women get “fat” after birthing humans?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 04:15 AM
3

the other difference is that men will simply attempt to pursue multiple women simultaneously, whereas women tend to trade up. a man won’t leave his wife for another woman if he has the option of entertaining a mistress or two (typically)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/24 02:32 AM
7

Being a good person is important for relationships, but does not help to establish attraction Being a pushover is a net detriment, and being a pushover has no bearing on whether one is a good person or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 05:00 PM
5

Can a man not be dominant, confident, stoic, good looking, ambitious, courageous, charming, masculine men as well as kind, generous, and considerate? Or is nice guy shorthand for beta pushover? And yes, kindness is an important trait for long term compatibility. But without traits that spark attraction, kindness in and of itself ain't dropping panties.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:28 PM
8

Women like dominant, confident, stoic, good looking, ambitious, courageous, charming, masculine men. We should pin this to the sidebar.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:06 PM
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you have your data points and i have mine. i know women who have waited for guys they “really liked” and didn’t want to mess it up, who were more attractive than men they had been casual with. attractive men certainly face a shorter window. but long term intentions are a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 05:22 PM
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If a man is looking for casual sex as his primary aim he should work on coming across as fun, exciting and adventurous. This could be coupled with risk-taking behaviors like drug use, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:40 PM
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It's not a question of making women wait for sex, it's judging her for having sex too quickly as a disqualification for LTR material. She can have sex with him early, but knows that if she does he might see her differently. So if she wants more from him, she might wait longer than if she does not want more from him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:37 PM
2

the entire history of the subjugation of women is based on paternity certainty, that’s what purity culture is all about. true we don’t know if cavemen were monogamous they probably weren’t since paternity certainty is only an issue if fathers need to provide for their direct offspring (rather than the tribe), it’s more of a thing in a post agricultural society. regardless young woman = greater fecundity potential over a life time. obviously men get weird with it as girls who have just entered me…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 04:24 PM
2

that’s true but thinking biologically a man who can mate with a young woman and restrict her opportunities for mating with other males will maximize her fecundity and his paternity certainty
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 04:11 PM
1

and employers have a role to select the right employees. that doesn’t mean employees get a total freedom to act however they like after being selected, they are not absolved of responsibility
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 10:11 PM
3

yes the type of people who become porn stars and partner with them are not mentally well and are likely to experience lives of emotional hardship. but there are plenty of men willing to marry porn stars no need to fret about them becoming old maids
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 10:10 PM
0

except for the men who gleefully pay for their girlfriends plastic surgery…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 09:21 PM
2

and yet female porn stars can marry quite easily. so clearly enough mentally ill men that it’s not a problem for them
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 09:19 PM
8

yes that’s why a company is not allowed to prosecute an employee who steals from them. it’s their fault for making the hire. extremely sound logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 09:17 PM
4

i’m not totally sure what the difference is between supporting feminism and women’s rights to me they are interchangeable
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 01:07 PM
3

so you’re reasoning is…whacky. but i don’t think the claim is entirely wrong. most women want a man who will pay lip service to (or even truly believe in) the goals of feminism and equality, and who will treat them respectfully and not be expected his girlfriend to pick up after him. but he should also still be traditionally masculine - physically and emotionally strong, competent, capable. and if he bitches about having to do both well, then he fails the shit test.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 03:50 AM
1

Sexlessness in a marriage can be a attributed to a lot of things. If your partner is temporarily ill or physically recovering (say, from childbirth), then it would be asshole-ish to divorce them for that. Even for a prolonged period, say up to a year. Or if the sexlessness is a result of one person feeling completely overstretched by taking on the lions share of domestic and work responsibilities while the other partner has ample time to rest and recharge. In that case, work on evening the load …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 03:40 PM
14

Yep Frank: Charlie, I need a woman. I need a woman to... to cook for me, and clean up after me, and somebody that will do everything I say. Charlie: Well, that's just a maid. You want a maid? Frank: Yeah, that's right, a maid. A maid I can bang.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 04:52 PM
–

I did it! We left Chicago in the afternoon, crossed the Mississippi right before the sun went down. Overnight traversed the Great Plains so didn't miss anything there. Woke up in Denver at 7am and that entire day was gorgeous. There was a park ranger in the viewing car (lounge with lots of windows) describing the local flora and fauna and history. The next day was the deserts of Nevada, lots of roaming horses, and finally the Sierra mountains. Two nights on the train in total, and we got off rig…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 04:35 PM
–

He looks so much like his mom. Zendaya is also a crazy case. <image>
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/24 04:30 PM
–

So many words without saying anything concrete or specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 05:26 PM
2

the only ones i would tell him to avoid are the 10 looks dull girl and the woman who doesn’t get along with his family (unless his family are psychos). the rest are fair game
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 10:05 PM
3

that tracks! haha but to your question i do think they are somewhat similar. the same drive for people to walk in their graduation probably applies somewhat to the drive to have a wedding. not a perfect circle but some overlap. regardless should help you to understand people’s motivation around these things
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 07:53 PM
2

yes of course people have different values and it takes all sorts. i’m not saying that everyone needs to get married, just that there is a secular case for marriage that is about love, children and community. i’m curious did you graduate from high school and or college? and if you did, did you walk to receive your diploma and/or celebrate afterwards? married people also choose each other every day, with an added layer of security that the other person can be reasonably confident that their partn…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 06:25 PM
3

marriage is valuable on three levels: 1) interpersonally. i can think of nothing more romantic than telling someone “you are my person. i choose you above all others. to be chosen similarly by you is the greatest honor. my feelings for you are so strong that i cannot imagine a world where i could feel otherwise. i believe in us so strongly that i am willing to make a bet on us and if i lose it will wreck my life financially. but i love you so much that i think it’s a safe bet, and i have faith t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:51 PM
6

other than a terminal case of cynicism, i don’t understand why one wouldn’t want to stand on the mountain declare your eternal love and commitment to the person who means the most to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 05:03 PM
6

it sounds to me like OP is talking about courtship/dating vs being in a relationship. just exist should be enough in a relationship once the parameters are set around mutual obligations. not so with courtship where you have to demonstrate worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 12:27 PM
1

i believe it! if i had to bet i would say that indian women have a much higher rate of 4 year degree completion compared to the average american woman (also low divorce rate is a pretty separate figure from marriage rate - in the US divorce rates are going down alongside marriage. so a low divorce rate isn’t necessarily indicative of a high marriage rate)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:09 PM
3

i think if you randomly assigned one group of people to have a sex-buddy who they were compatible with to share their lives, and the other group was randomly assigned to live alone, on average the sex-buddy group would be happier. but unfortunately experiments like this aren’t considered “ethical” so we may never know
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 11:36 AM
3

or race neutrally, higher income with 4 year degrees. (i’d bet asian marriage rates are strong regardless but white marriage rate is like lower among the non-educated women) overall you’re rate marriage rates are down. but not among educated women. if you want to blame the financial liberation of women on depressing marriage rates than that seems logical. women no longer need to tie themselves to men for survival. blaming education tho seems like a roundabout way of getting there.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 11:27 AM
5

in what demographic are marriage rates strongest?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 05:11 AM
–

most families need two incomes to survive. in that sense both spouses are dependent on each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 04:45 AM
7

remind me how much more college educated women are likely to get divorced than their uneducated female peers?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 04:38 AM
16

when people say this they usually mean women are putting in more effort on the home front / domestic sphere. they are cooking, cleaning, decorating, caring for children when they happen, planning, maintaining the social calendar. etc
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 04:40 PM
–

husband goggles
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 01:06 AM
4

well power and dominance have a lot to do with sex. not saying those things are like a perfect circle but there’s strong overlap within the venn diagram. also what you’re saying is conjecture. you might believe it to be true but it’s more of an epistemology then a material reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 01:59 AM
3

everything is sex. except sex, which is power. (no but really agree to disagree. that’s a feminist fable)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 01:24 AM
5

but…don’t they kinda? i mean i know i know it’s opportunity yada yada. older women get raped too. not sex but power. all the talking points. and yet. most women who are raped, by far, are those who are ages around peak fertility / attractiveness. yes it’s true that these are the woman who are also the most likely to be around young men, who are most likely to sexually offend. but i wouldn’t call it a total coincidence that “Female rape victimisation and female sexual attractiveness peak at exact…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 05:53 PM
1

most disgusting when it’s on her head and face. visible eyebrows are so disgusting
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:35 PM
0

no that’s crazy. i just ask that he be discreet about it
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:30 PM
2

i’m 36 so the 20 year old probably wouldn’t take the time to try to assault me. oh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:25 PM
3

or they are just conventionally attractive guys who have never needed to learn tactics to bed women. it all just came naturally, so they have no hostility. women are generally warm to them, they have good friends and lovers who are women and are weirded out by all the RP animus, even if they agree with some of the “truths” because this is just innate understanding one gets with experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:23 PM
1

again…think about the denominator. almost ALL children are spending more time with their mothers. mothers have the most access to their own children out of anyone else. people are more likely to have car accidents 5 miles from their home than anywhere else. imagine taking that to mean that one’s immediate surroundings are more dangerous than the rest of the world. feel free to take it up with a statistician or the NYT (https://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/08/health/unrelated-adults-at-home-increase-r…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 04:32 PM
5

yeah…i think you need to factor the denominator in that for your math to work. using that logic you could say sober driving is more dangerous because there are more accidents involving sober drivers than drunk drivers. thereby it is shitty logic
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 03:29 PM
1

replacement is the golden ticket. ive yet to see an example of a region with rapid depopulation that looked…pleasant for current inhabitants
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 01:03 PM
1

the problem with divorcing when you have children with someone is that you still have to deal with them. a lot. if you cannot figure out how to get a long to co-parent then that really nullifies the benefits of a divorce from the standpoint of children, even if it personally benefits the parents
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 01:02 PM
1

opportunity costs are entirely relative
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 01:01 PM
1

the best option is to get married before kids are born, emotionally self regulate to minimize conflict, and then if still unhappy leave after kids are grown. people seem to trip up a lot on step 2, which to be fair is quite difficult. people are imperfect. falling fertility rate is probably one of the more selfish and short sighted actions our generation can take. crazy to hear people going on about the impact of climate chance on the children born today and yet completely indifferent to the eco…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:35 PM
4

the point is that divorce only rarely actually decreases turmoil. divorced parents often continue to fight with each other, or they get into new tumultuous relationships (which is much worse for the kids - no higher predictor of abuse than sharing a household with an unrelated male)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:29 PM
1

based
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:23 PM
1

parents who are married are much more likely to stay together than those who are not. there are also a host of benefits (mental, physical) to being married. of course you could probably get those benefits just by being partnered but the high exit costs of marriage mean people are more likely to stick it out through the tough times. and ultimately those who do make it through the tough times are happier for it
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:22 PM
1

yes, all parents should outsource all domestic labor and childcare as soon as the baby is born to keep things even. sound and logical take. unless this is a “wages for housework” argument which would be a turn
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 12:00 PM
7

they are better for children than split parent households where the parents are still fighting or worse yet, fighting with a new partner grass isn’t always greener
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 11:11 AM
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highly avoidable if you like your spouse. kids can be a lot tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:15 AM
–

another thing for them to apologize about
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:13 AM
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when i was a kid i called that movie Nicholas and the Mean Book
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:12 AM
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flip side - most women poop when they give birth, and then bleed for 4-6 weeks. it all balances out in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 02:06 AM
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My late contribution to man v bear discourse: I think the percentage of men who would take advantage of a drunk girl softly mumbling no far exceeds the percentage of men who would chase a strange women down in the woods to rape her.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 08:02 PM
3

Indeed
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:11 PM
6

Men have always been horndogs. Prior to the sexual revolution they were just fucking prostitutes. Sexual revolution meant that they could get "nice girls" with minimal investment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:32 PM
9

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:02 PM
11

I mean, that's like saying the fatties are taking advantage of the all you can eat buffet. What else is the point of the sexual revolution, if not lowing the barriers to, and associated responsibilities of, having sex? Women want lower barriers to sex, but want men to offer the same level of responsibility (e.g. commitment). But unfortunately you cannot have one without the other. So yeah, sexual revolution has negative impacts for women (and men to some degree), but that's not men's fault per s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:35 PM
7

Single motherhood has not increased in the US since 2012.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:33 PM
–

Yes, let's address the trans controversy by making it so women are unable to compete in basically all physical contests. We did it y'all. Feminism.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 05:20 PM
1

It's misleading to say that women "should be fine" to conceive after 35 as long as they are in "good health," as most would define "in good health" as absence of diagnosed and/or symptomatic health problems, rather than having passed a full fertility workup successfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 05:13 PM
8

"If you don't have issues with fertility, you won't have troubles getting pregnant" Yeah no shit. But a 30-something women who has no history of health issues, and has every reason to think she is health will have no idea that she is fertility-challenged unless she tries to get pregnant or gets her ovarian reserved checks. Imagine telling people "as long as your healthy you won't get cancer." "Doc, I got cancer but you said I had nothing to worry about because I was always so healthy" Doc says "…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:54 PM
6

One can be very healthy by all accounts and still have problems conceiving. Infertility may not be associated with any health issues at all. Again, don't know until you try.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:40 PM
5

Down Syndrome is likely to end in abortion regardless of maternal age, so it doesn't actually impact the number of children being born with down syndrome (Which has dropped precipitously in the last 15 years) mothers between the ages of 30 and 34 had a 1.3% chance of having a child with autism, while mothers between the ages of 35 and 39 had a 1.8% chance. Mothers over the age of 40 had a 2.3% chance of having a child with autism. The increase. So spectacular. Can you imagine a 1.8% chance vs a …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:39 PM
7

that older Mothers produce unhealthy children, that are doomed to a lifetime of suffering. Remind me the percent of children who are born to older mothers who have any kind of abnormality? The risk is relatively higher, yes, but the vast majority of babies born to women >35 are just fine. the best predictor of childhood success is whether the child has two, married parents or not. But let’s ignore that, because what matters is women’s freedom and happiness. And how exactly does age at marriage p…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:27 PM
6

The problem is you don't know until you try. Most women can get pregnant now problem after 35. But if you are the type of woman who is going to have a tough time getting pregnant, then you are way better off getting that assistance earlier vs. later.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 03:25 PM
1

I think it depends on the guy. Some guys are cheaters, and will always cheat. Some guys will cheat with the right opportunity and some of them just wont. I like to look to history to see how many kings of England fathered bastards while they were married. Most of them did - but not all of them. Edward II was married to his wife when they were both teenagers and stayed married for about 20 years until she died. She was basically pregnant the whole time. He never fathered a bastard.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 12:28 AM
1

Adult mentally stable women don't tend to fixate on celebrity crushes. Men might cheat out of opportunity, but women less so. It's not about the man and how perfect he is (or not). It's about her. Is she unhappy with her life? Is she bored? Does she want to feel young and bold? Does she want to see herself through the eyes of a man who finds her desirable and wants her, and know that she can still command lust outside of her relationship? That's why women cheat. Sometimes who the guy actually is…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 02:25 AM
1

I met my husband when he was hungover and wearing a bathing suit for shorts. I gave him my number anyway. I was 21 and could not have cared less about status. Does that count?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 02:10 AM
1

Childfree people benefit from a labor force that gives them goods and services when they are old and decrepit, as we all do, but at least the parents put in their dues.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 07:55 PM
1

Fine then fix your own plumbing. Pay for your own roof repairs! Sheesh
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 07:53 PM
–

Totally agree, women should be drafted. But they need to be given responsibilities in the army commiserate with their strength and skills, just like with men. Women can definitely be snipers, and most pilots are commanding drones now anyway these days. I will do you one better - all people 18+ should be drafted into services regardless if there is a war going on. In times of peace they should have the option to participate in community services for 2 years as an alternative to the military. beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:08 PM
3

Making sure I take time to be affectionate to my husband, continue to go one dates with him, doing things that make him feel loved, if it's work it's fun work. Having kids is a lot of work. Maintaining close relationships is a lot of work. Staying healthy is a lot of work. Who said anything is supposed to be easy? Plus I'd rather invest my attention in labor early on in life and reap the benefits in old age.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 02:42 PM
1

In my experience this attitude overlaps with someone who is then dating men 5 years down the road. That doesn't make it "invalid," but would certainly indicate an outlier perspective for a heterosexual man.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 01:07 PM
6

when the magic of living together wears off? That makes it sound as though we are all just hapless recipient of the magic. We are agents of our own fate. Love is an active verb. The magic only wears off if you allow it to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:40 PM
–

The bigger difference is post baby vs post "I do." So much changes post-baby because your dynamic is now a triad vs a dyad, so everyone has to re-invent their roles, responsibilities and obligations. Like any organizational re-org, it is generally not a seamless process.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 05:54 PM
26

There’s no difference between a husband and wife until you get into divorce court. OP, time to learn about how little humans come into this world.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 05:19 PM
4

She started seeing this dude who was an absolute stud, having sex with him and having a great-ass time, and I felt totally lame and inadequate. That was really hard for me, for obvious reasons. I felt like, I’m a hundred percent replaceable. It took a lot of conversations. She was like, There’s nothing wrong with you, this is going to pass, therapy will help. Lots of tears were shed. But medication helped me, talk therapy helped me, changing the way we do things helped. That’s where feelings are…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 04:08 PM
6

My father was clueless. My husband is an adult who knows how to take care of his children. I am very grateful to the accomplishments of feminism for this sea change.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 03:02 PM
4

Yes I agree. Maybe victimhood is too harsh of a phrase. The thing is life is hard. Being a parent is hard. You can have two people both giving their max 24/7 and it is still hard. I feel like people want to seek out a narrative for why they experience suffering as a means to somehow transcend the difficulty of daily life. But if it's not this it's just going to be something else. We need to learn how to handle suffering internally rather than fixate on identifying external causes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 01:20 PM
2

I guess it would be a better descriptor. But honestly at a certain point it's just like, IDK ladies life is tough. Someone has to schedule doctor's appointments and plan birthday parties and pay taxes and bring the car in for an inspection, while generating incoming and/or caring for children. And if you can't find an equitable way to share all of the chores and responsibilities with your husband then that is a communication problem. Be a grown up, don't put in more than you feel you can, sharin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 01:03 PM
–

Ha, PPD won't let me link to me old post. You can view the source if you click my profile and look for my old posts I wrote something a while back on "Myth busting single mothers" that includes citations. But to quote myself: "In 1960 only 8% of children lived in single-mother headed houses. That figure doubled by 1976 and continued to rise steadily (although not quite as rapidly) through the 1980s and 1990s, reaching an apex of 24% in 2012. However since then that figure has gradually decreased…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 12:57 PM
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The graph shows that everyone expects men to be providers - women and men. Whereas women disproportionately expect women to support households financially. The pressure on men is certainly real, but it's also reinforced by other men (and women).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 12:47 PM
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I think it actually peaked in 2014 or so and has been declining since then.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:34 AM
-2

I don't feel sorry for them but I am worried for the next 80 years of this planet due to the declining Western birthrate, so in that sense it is relevant. But that's another whole can o' worms, and a very complex issue. But yes, both men and women can be susceptible to sads because they wake up one day and life didn't turn out the way they wanted, or the way they had expected (shaped by the social and cultural messaging they received in their youth)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 03:30 PM
14

I used to work at a speakeasy in Manhattan where, if a man wanted to approach a woman he did not know, he had to ask the bartender for an introduction or else could be kicked out. It was a teeny tiny bar and I never saw anyone actually do it but I thought the rule was cute. (they were also very stringent with all sorts of rules, a lot of things could get you kicked out)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/24 02:58 PM
2

If someone said mean things about me that were arguably true (or at least subjective) on the internet, like that I was a slut or a bitch or a bad date...I would hope that an employer wouldn't see that or take much heed. It would certainly be something I would have to explain which would be annoying. That is so very different from creating a deepfake.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 07:55 PM
2

Sure, one could say it's a slippery slope, but at the same time, it's not right if someone goes around making false statements about you. How would you like it if someone did that to you? Yes that is a mean thing to do. But at some point, adults need to be able to handle other adults being mean to them without getting the justice system involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 06:05 PM
2

Then I think you would likely enjoy this article. Jonathan Haidt is a social psychologist who teaches ethics and has written some very interesting and influential work over the last few years. Or you could check out the podcast interview the author gives about the book which I found very informative (and alarming). The way he presents it (and I agree) is that smart phone based social media is essentially "the new cigarettes" with regard to adolescent health. We all unquestionably allowed it in, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 05:08 PM
1

It can. But people are stupid. Mistakes happen. And we want to keep mistakes from happening to young people that irrevocably fuck-up their lives, or prevent them from uplifting themselves. In that same vein, I am a fan of EMTs carrying around Narcan.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 03:03 PM
3

Unfortunately I think you are right, or at least more right than wrong. I think about something like abortion. I am 100% pro-choice. But the woman who is 28 with 2 kids, who is working a minimum wage job...she probably doesn't want to have an abortion. She probably wants what most women (and people) want - economic security, a loving and stable relationship. But feminists will fight for her right to have an abortion and then act like that solves her problems. Then they go ahead and promote a cul…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:54 PM
2

Oh yeah gotcha. And agree. Feminists are chronically online themselves, they can't help young girls because they are blinded to it due to their own social media usage.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:44 PM
1

Here's a good place to start. Poor parenting is an issue of course. But we need a cultural change around device use in children as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:43 PM
–

Equal pay for equal work. If the work ain't equal, then the pay won't be equal either (anyone complaining about equal pay has a hole in their head, single women actually out-earn single men now)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:12 PM
–

Finding a notary when you need one is one of the most unexpectedly difficult aspects of becoming an adult. Congrats on this valuable service to the community, I hope you monetize it to the full extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:10 PM
2

For anyone who cares about the future of women, it should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:09 PM
1

That's not at all why. It's due to the lack of IRL socialization, online validation (or lack thereof), and self-image censorship. It has everything to do with how we socialize differently online vs IRL and how damaging that is for young people, especially girls who are more socially attuned.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 02:05 PM
1

There is pretty definitive data that smartphone based social media has had a direct impact on young people's mental health, specifically girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 11:24 PM
5

The biggest issue effecting women in the west is social media use in adolescent girls. I wonder why this issue seems to be ignored by feminists...maybe because they are all so chronically online themselves? Other feminists concerns are/should be the rollback of reproductive rights, lack of paid parental leave, and telling young girls that it's right and normal to opt out of their femaleness if they have a difficult time during puberty. Other than that, women in the west have it pretty good I wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 05:22 PM
0

Sounds like something someone would say to enforce ideological orthodoxy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 05:14 PM
–

She was good in Dune. Small role though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 12:50 AM
–

oof. I would question how badly I had misread the situation to end up with such an un-masculine man,
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 12:49 AM
–

It would be pretty rude to just "peace" like that. So that would piss me off. But presumably in this scenario he has the upgrade because he flies with the airline a bunch and has status, so he earned it. And if it's also a question of leg room that makes sense. So if he was like "hey is that cool with you? I will send you a drink to coach my beautiful peasant" I would be cool with it. But not if he acted like a dick about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 12:48 AM
–

The crying emojis are a nice touch
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 12:46 AM
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She put him in jail? She imprisoned him in a basement? That's horrible, I hope he was able to escape. Or were there like maybe...other people involved in putting him in jail?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 12:42 AM
–

Yes, that would be the "opt-in" framework, vs the "opt-out" framework I presented. Definitely "protects men" much more by shielding them from the responsibility of caring for a child they don't want, at the cost of taking away parental rights if they do want to be involved. It's a common complaint that men don't get access to their kids / the mother doesn't let them see the kids, so an opt-out framework would definitely exacerbate those complaints.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/24 12:26 AM
–

Right. A man should not be able to have a "financial abortion" before the woman can get a first trimester abortion. Which is why I originally stipulated, he would need to make that decision and communicate it to her no later than 10 weeks in pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 09:55 PM
–

Oh yeah, absolutely (although once the kid is an adult I guess that would be different but definitely before) I'm sure many guys would start complaining about how she doesn't let him see the kid just because he refused to take on his paternal role
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 08:11 PM
–

Insisting that a woman who is 20 weeks pregnant get an abortion in the name of having an equivalent amount of time to decide is demented and just goes to show how totally r-slurred this entire discourse is. I will quote u/Mental_Leek_2806 here: A man should not be able to pull the rug out from under a pregnant woman and suddenly say at 16 weeks that he wants to forfeit all rights, forcing her into a surgical abortion, putting the child up for adoption, or raising the child without his support. F…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 08:10 PM
–

The later the pregnancy, the more expensive, medically complicated and ethically icky the abortion. Second trimester abortions should really only be an option for those that need them for medical reasons. That is the reason why Roe originally only applied to the first trimester. And while it's certainly doable to get something notarized in time, I think something like that could probably prove to be an insurmountable barrier to the caliber of dudes who want to stick it in crazy and then don't wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 06:47 PM
–

Financial abortions are fair but a bit challenging logisitcally because in order to pull them off the father must: know about the pregnancy make it clear to the mother that he wants to abdicate his parental role (like, probably would need to be notarized) do so with enough time for the mother to get an abortion within the first trimester (so probably by the 10 week mark, at the latest) pay for half of the cost of getting the abortion If these criteria are met I'm all for it, but unfortunately th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 06:34 PM
7

50% is the divorce rate - it captures years where there where twice as many marriages in a year as divorces. It does not mean that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Today about 1/3 people who have ever been married have gotten divorced. This is higher if just looking at Gen X/boomers, lower when looking at older seniors, and lower for millennials too. The alternative to divorce is death. Death and divorce are both not great outcomes, but unfortunately life isn't all roses and spending time living…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 08:03 PM
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I asked my friend today who is a mom to two boys what the whole "boy mom" phenomenon. She told me "The boy mom is the natural evolution of the cool girl." It all clicked. The boy mom is soooo not like other girls that she won't even gestate a human female, that how much she is one of the guys!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/24 01:37 AM
5

Easier in some ways to be a single mom, harder in others. Easier because men, when they don’t clean up after themselves, make more work. So one less mouth to feed, one less body to do laundry for is easier. Also without another adult in the house it’s easier cutting corners (whenever my husband and I are out of town and the other is solo parenting you can bet that the kids might skip bath time, watch more TV and eat Mac n cheese for a couple nights in a row). But it’s hard when there’s no one el…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:13 PM
10

Single mothers actually spend less time on domestic labor than married mothers. Go figure. But the missing factor is resentment. The woman who is working 12 hours a day caring for their home (likely on top of a paid job too) resents her husband who is just sitting around. The single mother has no corollary for her object of ire.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 04:04 PM
6

Women love sex. But a woman who is burnt out by domestic labor (often in combination with paid labor) will likely to feel sexual desire for her husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 03:26 PM
18

If a woman is waking up at 6am to feed the baby, change the diapers, then is meal prepping and cleaning and doing paid work all day while kids are crying and crawling on her and the husband is just brining in a paycheck, then that's not going to make her feel sexy or desired. He doesn't need to help her out necessarily, but if she feels overburdened then she will never get into a sexual headspace. But if they get a cleaner, get a babysitter, make sure she has some time to do her hair and exercis…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:58 PM
10

I don't think it's advice so much as "hey, if you do X,Y and Z that would make you more fuckable/wifeable to me personally." So unless a woman wants to be with that man, there's no reason to listen to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:38 PM
58

I think this definitely applies to some men (example, Elvis Presley barely slept with his wife after she got pregnant and was very into preserving her virginity until they were married or just before they were married). But most guys are totally happy fucking the “Madonna”/their wives. Like, gladly. Even after kids men are usually rearing to go well before their wives are physically / emotionally ready. Because men are hornier full stop and even cognitive dissonance and psychological hangups are…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 04:19 AM
11

50% of marriages have never ended in divorce. That statistic just captures that there have been years, like mostly in the 80s and 90s I believe, where there where twice as many marriages in a year as divorces. In the past everyone get married due to social expectation. Now the people who get married do so because they really want to. It also used to be really taboo to live with someone out of wedlock so people would just like, get married and divorced a few years later, essentially treating marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 07:03 PM
6

Pick your poison - overburdened by the responsibilities of childcare, or loss of autonomy due to the presence of helping hands who all get a say. There's not perfect path, there's no free lunches. That said, I would totally not mind if my mom lived with us to help with the kids. We are lucky because she lives nearby and comes a few days a week and sleeps over a couple of times a month. It's great whenever she can help but it's especially great to be able to shower in peace in the morning after 6…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 03:47 AM
1

It's too expensive to do it to a certain standard. It's super cheap to have kids and not be a particularly engaged parent. But if you want them to have quality care and education, healthy fresh foods, extracurricular activities, occasional family vacations with minimal debt and a nest egg for when they leave the house, then that's a lot of dough. And most people who want to be parents want to be "good" parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:50 PM
4

Ha! That tracks. Though I also think the very religious, how have very high TFR, rub off on the secular Jews there, just because the country is so dense and there is a robust minority of orthodox/ultra-orthodox. So the secular live in very close proximities to the highly fertile and highly religious (who are more segregated in the US - the religious Christians having lots of kids don't tend to live in dense areas) Comparatively, Jews in the US don't have particularly noteworthy fertility.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:47 PM
1

Yes, I think option 2 is more likely. The money won't solve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 05:07 PM
1

How is it setting a bad example to work through your problems with your spouse, and to prioritize your child's needs above your own? If a spouse is abusive, then of course leave. But if you just don't get along well then...work at it. Find a way to get along. You are both adults. You clearly had something going that was working before you got married and had children. Things changed for the worse. Now be a grown-up and change them for the better. Don't act so helpless and don't hurt your kid. Ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 03:50 PM
0

Parents need to prioritize their children's well being. Sexually their options while their children are young are 1) being intimate with each other; 2) abstaining until their children are adults / young adults; 3)pursing extramarital sex and relationships discreetly. Anything outside of those 3 options has a negative impact on children. They are all very possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 02:18 PM
23

It's not about the money, it's about the culture. There's just too many options for a fun fulfilling life outside of having children. Children are a lot of work, and we don't have communities (as in whole neighborhoods), that are there to help share the joys and the burdens, it falls all on parents. And children are a lot of work because we have decided as a culture that the best way to raise children is invest heavily in them, to make sure they are successful. This limits the amount of children…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 02:01 PM
0

Mom and Dad stay discreet until their children are grown.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 01:58 PM
0

They would have been better presumably leaving in a household where the parents were able to work through their issues and co-parent as a family, even if they were no longer actively in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 12:47 PM
1

lol I would also probably smoke crack with Alex Jones
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 12:40 AM
1

Of course women accept the sexual advances of chad because chad is, definitionally, a man whose sexual advances are accepted by women
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 12:38 AM
4

Fear is the mind killer.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 03:03 AM
9

What a great post to read. Also They would be called "nanpa" which has the connotations of a gross fuckboy with weak self-discipline and self-mastery (traits which are respected as pretty much the hallmarks of masculinity in Japan). I always get a kick out of learner new Japanese words, that’s a good one!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 12:40 AM
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Yes, but that was mostly due to timing / long distance. It's very likely that if I had met him later in life when we were both done with school things would have worked out differently. I'm very happy with who I married, but there's no "one" out there for anyone, just lots of options and possible paths, many of which are happy and fulfilling.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 04:12 PM
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You might have to do some initial convincing, but once a woman is attracted to you, she's generally into you genuinely. My ex was not someone I was initially attracted to but once he won me over I couldn't get enough of him. He became very attractive to me. He couldn't get rid of me! You should hear how Padma Lakshmi talks about Salman Rushdie in her memoir. He pursued her and once he won her over she was totally hooked. So yeah, you will need to put more work in the beginning due to DNA. And th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 02:46 PM
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If a woman does not respect her man, then it's over. And women respect dominance, or if not dominance then at least competence. Physical, social and/or material. If a man lacks physical, social and material competence, then he's SOL.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 01:42 PM
0

I’m a fan of objective reality. 2+2 /= 5 and I don’t care if I’m the only person who recognizes it, it’s still true. People can still have their own perspectives but reality is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:42 PM
-1

I am under the assumption that all men use porn
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:40 PM
1

Intelligence, confidence, kindness. I’m fine with kindness last because I’m assuming that it’s more neutral rather than actively mean/cruel. The most important one though is not includes on the list, and that’s humor.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:36 PM
1

Or cheating
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/24 11:34 PM
2

Yeah…let see how the first batch of kids do. Maybe it’s fine. But so much happens between fetuses and their mothers during pregnancy - biological, social, emotional. The consequences of something like this on a massive scale could be very bad. Other people can fuck around with their kids and then lmk
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 04:36 PM
1

Feminism and western society are inextricably linked.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 04:31 PM
2

This is less about and imbalance of power or some dumb shit like that and more about Hollywood be unwillingness to present women as romantic prospects as they age
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 04:29 PM
16

Benefits to having children at 33 and 35: I really enjoyed my youth. My husband and I traveled, had lazy Sundays, built our careers, and enjoyed being young and free of responsibility we can pay for our kids to be in childcare without compromising our lifestyle too much. I’m able to work less without compromising our lifestyle too much. Cons: might limit our family size. Not sure if I’m really up for a third pregnancy at 38 being sleep deprived in your mid 30s sucks
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 01:24 PM
1

I think they are so satisfying
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:17 PM
4

After seeing Dune: Part 2 last night I want to start referring to my kids as “the bloodline.” Maybe it will as a layer of gravitas to parenting. “The bloodline has soiled his diaper” “The bloodline desires more orange juice”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/24 01:15 PM
2

But gay men have the most female friends out of all the men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 04:14 PM
1

Yes. Even though women do 99.99% of the biological investment in childbearing she shares her children with their father. It’s a huge sacrifice but worth it for the right man.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:38 AM
1

There is no law that says women get kids and assets. There is a legal tradition that kids spend more time with the parent who is more competent in their care, and that assets are divided evenly irrespective of who is the earner. Those are all sex neutral conditions. You could say “it’s risky to enter a marriage as a sole earner who is not competent in caring for their children” and to that I would agree. But most women work and men are increasingly competent in caring for their children so it se…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 03:36 AM
1

A man can have children literally without knowing. His investment in reproduction is typically 8 minutes. A woman's investment in reproduction is usually at least a year. Any changes to his body are a result of lifestyle, not physiology. Pregnancy and childbirth make women less physically attractive because of biology, not lifestyle. Even when a woman goes back to her pre-pregnancy weight her hips are wider, the skin around her abdomen is softer, and her breasts are saggier. That's why it's insa…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 02:28 AM
1

How does a man's body change after children? Will prospective new partners find him physically less attractive after fatherhood, compared to before he had children? How does a woman's body change after children? Will prospective new partners find her physically less attractive after motherhood, compared to before she had children? The male reproductive investment is invisible. The female reproductive investment changes that woman forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 02:08 AM
2

Yes what could possibly be risky about sacrificing your body to bear a man's children, and losing independent income to care for those children.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 02:01 AM
1

Feminism is more intersectional today than radical. The heyday of radical feminism was really in the 1980s with Andrea Dworkin, Catharine Mackinnon etc. They would probably be considered too trad today (anti sex work and pornography).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 08:08 PM
1

Men didn’t make a choice one war or another the choice was made for them by the development of the birth control pill and the decreased relative value or physical strength for income generation, family protection.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 12:05 PM
2

Um if you have a problem with your actor partner kissing other people then actors are not for you
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 04:06 AM
1

Radical feminism has been around a long time what took men so long
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 04:05 AM
0

“BMI is too simplistic” is something I only ever hear from fat people, at least historically… Truly muscular people are not worried about being falsely labeled by BMI because their fitness is obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 07:54 PM
3

Chubby means kinda fat. Thicc is a specific kind of chubby where the woman is relatively fit but has large thighs and booty. But thicc women are probably more often than not overweight, technically.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 07:03 PM
2

Pre body positivity movement no one would have had a problem calling thicc women fat/chubby
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:30 PM
6

I guess it’s subjective. “Thicc” women of today would have been called fat or chubby 30 years ago. Now with body positivity and everyone being larger things have gotten twisted. Basically, if a woman is not morbidly obese and has nice hair and face, there will probably be a guy who is quite enthusiastic to fuck her.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 03:38 PM
8

Nah, some guys like thicc girls. I used to work in a strip club. We had all sorts of body types. No one morbidly obese but some girls were certainly chunky. They all got lots of attention. Men are much more diverse in their sexual tastes than women. But I’d bet a lot of the guys who doted on thicc girls in the club still went for the more conventionally attractive girls outside.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 03:13 PM
7

High status men marry high status women but they will fuck whoever. Lots of high status women are sluts and they typically end up with men of similar backgrounds.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 03:02 PM
8

I will add though, they do care for marriage/relationships. But not for attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:50 PM
7

Men don't need to rely on social proof or other third-party opinions to decide if a woman is attractive. This point is well made.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:22 PM
1

It’s very weird
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 11:09 AM
3

I finished all 10 best picture noms in time for the Oscars. This is my 3rd year doing it in a row (one day I would love to r/oscarsdeathrace but probably not happening until the kids are older). Honestly I think it’s a really good bunch, very few duds in the group. Here is my personal ranking: Poor Things Barbie Anatomy of a Fall Oppenheimer American Fiction Past Lives The Holdovers Zone of Interest Killers of the Flower Moon Maestro Oppenheimer will and should win, I just personally enjoyed a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 05:01 AM
4

Ain’t that the truth. I do not have the patience to take care of littles all day every day. The women (occasional men) who do are saints and better than me! I like using my brain, and money.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 04:52 AM
5

😅 omg kids are notoriously picky eaters. Not babies but by the time they are 2-3 most will barely eat vegetables and then in only certain capacities. You are truly clueless as to what it takes to care for a young family. It’s the AMOUNT of clothing. Not the process of washing. All needs to be washed, folded, put away, on an almost daily basis. I’m sure for you your children will be very dainty and neat and will eat all the food presented to them. They won’t cry and be fussy and have meltdowns th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:29 AM
3

Little kids generate a lot of laundry. Babies have big poopsplosions, they spit up on everything (including you and your clothes), when they learn to eat it’s quite messy. Potty training toddlers have lots of accidents on clothing and bedding. And then of course active kids run around and get their clothes dirty. It’s a lot of laundry. Washing, folding, putting away. Grocery shopping online is convenient but it still takes meal planning and cooking to feed a whole family. My nanny for my 10 mont…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 02:06 AM
4

How many people are you grocery shopping for and doing laundry for?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:37 AM
6

She is working. She is watching young kids. How much do you think it would cost you to hire someone to watch your children from 6am-7pm, and do all the laundry and grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning, 7 days a week, no PTO? They are also planning holidays and birthday parties and making play dates, healthcare appointments. And trying to limit screen time to know more than 30 min a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:19 AM
1

If person B was not doing unpaid work it would cost their families tens of thousands of dollars a year, at least. Person B probably works from the time the kids are up til when they are in bed. Person B does not get weekends or holidays. If Person A works the same hours for income generation, and they are both on board with that split then yes, it makes sense for Person B to do all the chores. Otherwise either Person A has got to chip in or pay for someone to help pick up the slack so Person B c…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/24 01:11 AM
0

You can say what you want but legally we live in a (shitty) welfare state and I find it unlikely that the biggest voting block will let go of their entitlements. So you are very wrong in hypothesizing that a reduced birth rate will be better for children being born today. Maybe in the short run but certainly not in the long run.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 07:42 PM
4

Everyone out here trying to safety proof their lives, as though we can ever truly protect ourselves from loss and disappointment. Smh
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 02:46 PM
1

If you saw her in real life you wouldn’t be able to take your jaw off the floor. Social media has ruined all of your brains.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 02:49 AM
4

If I were making that money and was single with no prospects “on my level” then yeah I’d go for the blue collar guy who maybe dropped out of college but can fix everything, and knows how to make like one dish perfectly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 02:46 AM
5

When did I say they were? Your problem will be the lack of working aged adults when you are old. Actually that will be everybody’s problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 02:31 AM
4

Is there an increase in dinks? I know some but most of the people I know who are older and without children are single.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 01:09 AM
8

The fewer people who have kids, the more fucked those kids will be when they become working adults tasked with caring for a much proportionately aging population. The childless are placing a huge burden on the next generation just as much as the climate change deniers
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 01:08 AM
3

Being married is great. It's nice to belong to someone. That's why darling, it's incredible That someone so unforgettable Thinks that I am unforgettable too
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 08:31 PM
4

Lots of laughing, smiling, eye contact and standing just every so slightly close so that it creates a slight kinetic energy, and would be intrusive if not in a charged environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 06:38 PM
3

Isn’t the assumption that everyone who is dating is dating multiple people until they are exclusive? I think the FWB component is weird and unadvisable but yeah, don’t put your eggs in one basket early on. And it’s fine as long as everyone you are dating is looking for the same thing as you - whether that be a good time or something more serious. What’s morally icky is when you want something out of that person (sex, resources) and are taking advantage of their interest in you to get it without …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 12:46 AM
1

any woman who has ever had a bisexual thought can call herself bisexual and then get LGBTQIA progressive brownie points. No actual news to demonstrate bisexual behavior required
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 09:26 AM
2

true dat. I'm not like, advocating for mandatory paternity tests. But I do think that if something were to be pushed through, it would make much more sense to apply it to non-married couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 06:45 PM
6

Women can opt out of DNA tests sure. I don’t think they should be able to restrict their partners’ access to DNA tests
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 06:22 PM
4

Yeah, that’s why an opt-out strikes a balance, though it certainly weakens the impact.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:25 PM
7

True. But the libertarian in me supports on opt-out or work-around, just as I would with vaccines etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:02 PM
3

This is an excellent point. Children need their parents to lead by example.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 02:38 PM
10

I think applying it to non-married couples make the most sense, as that is where you will get the biggest bang for your buck. Perhaps men should be able to decline the paternity test if they sign a waver or something. I do wonder about the economics though - who is covering? Medicaid? Some state slush fund? Insurance companies? The man himself? Maybe that is why the bill died. Paternity fraud being a crime is quite sensical, it's a horrible thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 02:35 PM
3

I don’t mean worthless masters degrees, I meant what I said in my original comment - we need to teach/educate our daughters in male nature so that they are appropriately cautious and selective
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 02:16 PM
5

Reinforces my point about importance of education donnit Although OF is arguably safer than dating! Still stupid tho
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 12:50 PM
4

Yes, very much this!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 11:58 AM
1

That may be true but doesn’t apply to this equation
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 09:06 AM
6

I mean, tomato/to-mah-toe eh? I think there are enough non-dirtbags to go around, but then again I’m an optimistic androphile. And for the dirtbags who are there, well some women are dirt bags too so they can have each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 08:55 AM
0

Men posting their Ls
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 05:04 AM
3

A man can be happily married without wishing to be monogamously married. Women who cheat are unhappy. Men who cheat have opportunity, flexible morals and a narrow view of consequences. Social media is a lie. Sorry a pedo tried to rape you :-/
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 02:48 AM
52

That's why we need to teach our daughters to be selective and cautious. Because dating is dangerous and young women...are kind of gullible and stupid. No offense ladies. I would guess that most of the women who end up with dirtbags and keep going back to them probably have a dirtbag father who isn't looking out for her, and an equally stupid mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 08:20 PM
10

To the guy who told me that women are neurotic and men are stoic. Please read this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 08:18 PM
1

who is giving men shitty advice? what advice? So women are HAPPIER in marriages (as noted by lower divorce rate) but that happiness is NOT RELATED to having their husbands help out at home? Non-sensical and unsubstantiated
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:56 PM
-1

I think it’s fairer to say that they are functionally single mothers (as in that their lives would not involve more parenting if the father was physically absent). Women who get divorced are more similar to married women with regards to their children’s outcomes vs women who are not married when they give birth
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:20 PM
1

One major change that I’ve observed is that Millennial men do far, far more housework and childcare than men in prior years. Still, their wives are equally as unhappy with them, if not more so. How is this not “women are as unhappy as ever”?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:19 PM
0

Stoicism is a masculine trait. But within the world of PPD men take the cake on complaining hands down. And that’s even with the incel ban. So pot, please meet kettle. I think you will get along famously.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 07:17 PM
1

Without clicking the link I am going to guess that what is being measured is the number of marriages vs the number of divorces. So for examples, in 2021 there were 41 divorces in that year for every 100 marriages. It’s an interesting statistic but it doesn’t say anything about the percent of marriages that stay together vs the percentage of marriages that end in divorce. The other issue with it’s predictive power is that it includes marriage frequent flyers who are much more likely to get divorc…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 11:48 AM
2

Yep. All of this conflict is because most people with secure attachments get with one another fairly early on, leaving a bunch of people with insecure attachments duking it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:35 AM
2

Nice reminder to “lol” at the comment I got earlier to women always playing the victim card
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:33 AM
2

Hard harem
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:31 AM
2

Graduatepilled
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:30 AM
0

The 50% rate is a myth, c’mon that’s cannon. Divorce is down because the people who are getting married are more dedicated to marriage. So that is correct. But we are not talking about out willingness to get married. We are talking about satisfaction once married. male domestic participation seems positively correlated to happier, more stable marriage. So no, women aren’t “as miserable as ever” as your poorly (if at all) cited article would suggest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 04:14 AM
1

Seriously
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 02:24 AM
1

Read my initial comment. I was challenger the poster to explain why, if women are as unhappy as ever, the divorce rate is going down. The decreasing divorce rate suggests that women are happier in marriage now than they have been for some time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 11:45 PM
0

I’m not really tracking your comment. Men are doing more domestic work, and divorce is going down. I contest the assertion that “women are as unhappy as ever.” If women were as unhappy as ever in marriage, we would not be seeing a decrease in the divorce rate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 11:44 PM
1

AYou are arguing that female happiness and divorce is unrelated. Education and income are positively correlated with intact marriages. Women who choose to get married today are happier compared to any generation since women had a de facto choice in marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 09:47 PM
4

please take inventory about the sex that is complaining more on PPD
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 09:46 PM
2

So like I said… Women who are getting married today are just as miserable as ever but seemingly more content to stay married given the lower divorce rate (since we are limiting ourselves to the cohort of women who are getting married). Less likely to get married, less likely to divorce but apparently be less likely to get divorced is irrespective of happiness
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:55 PM
9

From the top of my head it was more like community stuff - volunteering, stuff with the kid's school, church, etc. Which would make sense for a SAHM whose kids are school age.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:05 PM
6

Yes, people need to start taking accountability and stop making blanket generalizations.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:03 PM
9

It's definitely the Yelp effect. I don't think these experiences are representative of marriages. But they are certainly illustrative of shitty marriages.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:02 PM
5

ok so just so I'm tracking people are less likely to get married. Of the people who do get married the men do more housework the woman are just as miserable as ever but they are also more likely to stay together
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 07:01 PM
9

Yep. And somehow they also have more leisure. Data can be weird. (I do think that if you take away SAHMs from the mix it changes things a bit)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 06:52 PM
4

Wives are just as unhappy but divorce is less likely. So is the conclusion that Millennial women are more likely to stay in unhappy marriages - and if so, to what would you attribute that to?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 06:26 PM
35

Any parenting subreddit, except for those that are explicitly male oriented,* is a de facto space where women complain about their husband's lack of effort at home, and correctly surmise that they are effectively single mothers, and that their lives would be easier if they no longer shared a home with their husbands. It's sad. I don't think people should walk out on a marriage, but like c'mon guys. Don't make it so appealing. *or maybe those for lesbians
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 06:25 PM
0

That’s a good question. In the West in the year 2024 I don’t think either men or women should be playing the victim card. People need to show accountability and stop bitching all the time. The only people being victimized are children of adults who don’t have their shit together.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 03:08 PM
1

Everyone is allowed to complain about their spouse, especially if that spouse is not carrying their weight. Make sure you rest your arms - moving goal posts and cause muscle fatigue.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 02:29 PM
-1

Historically women had a lot more legal protections in divorce because they were much more economically vulnerable. As the wage gap has decreased, so have women needs for protection. Literally every state has sex-neutral laws relating to divorce and custody. 50/50 is the default unless one parent is truly incompetent. Alimony is awarded in <10% of case. The higher earning is going to spend more of their relative income on child support (again, sex neutral). The horse is dead just let the poor co…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:28 PM
2

Yes in the US&A women, as people, have a right to speech and that speech includes complaining. If you want to play the (completely unsubstantiated) victim card then sure just don’t accuse women of playing the victim card in the next breath.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 11:24 PM
6

most men out there have functional relationships with their children. And most married men stay married to their wives until someone dies. If you’re seeking validation because you are scared of the consequences of getting married and having kids well then…yeah. Sometimes marriages fail and it really sucks for everyone. And even in a great marriage children are challenging and a father may end up with a poor relationship with his kids even if he stays with the mother, and even if he has sacrifice…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 08:16 PM
8

Well functioning adult men would not consider stability in their children’s lives a “net loss”
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 07:04 PM
16

The main benefit is stability for children. It’s not really supposed to be about meeting the needs of the adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/24 06:07 PM
–

Good for you for not stringing her along. That makes you a better person than most
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 11:44 PM
–

“A special place in hell” is pretty close. Also maybe a touch of “Red Scare” as well (female perspective for both, but hosts are purple on the former and obviously more or less red on red scare.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 11:42 PM
–

They use body count as a predictor of cheating but ignore marriage as a predictor of staying together
/r/PurplePillDebate29/02/24 08:45 PM
2

I guess it’s predatory if someone goes to a bar and stays sober for the purpose of sleeping with drunk women. But usually everyone is just drinking and having a good time, and doing the things they would like to do but need a bit of liquid coverage.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 12:51 AM
4

Cinderella is a (fictional) example of hypergamy. Sexual dimorphism on height is not evidence of hypergamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 11:56 AM
2

Something can be legal and still be immoral
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 04:54 PM
1

There’s a higher bar for morality than legality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 04:39 PM
1

Politics, philosophy, memes and TikTok’s, family and friend gossip
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 05:37 AM
2

A good debater should be able to steel man their opponents arguments. Fact: attracting interested prospects is easier for women than men Fact: men who want to improve their success with women can take actionable steps to make themselves more appealing Fact: men dying deaths of despair matters a great deal, and there is a great deal of reporting on this topic, tho surely it can go farther. Fact: loving relationships make people the happiest, but being alone is oftentimes preferable to be unhappil…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 08:29 PM
–

Genetic screening has gotten pretty good over the last decade. Many of these babies with genetic birth defects aren’t being born at all. And that just applies to women conceiving naturally. Older women are also more likely to have IVF and those embryos are tested and screened and only inserted if they are normal. There are risks associated with advanced maternal age, but the risk mitigation measures (testing, abortion) work pretty well in minimizing the number of children born with defects. Ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 01:27 PM
–

I will check it out!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 12:14 PM
–

If we’re compare apples to apples then whey not compare apples mother in her 40s to a father in his 40s? Why compare a mother in her 40s to a father in his 60s? The rate of babies being born with Down syndrome has precipitously declined even while the fertility rate of women >35 has gone up over the last 10 years or so, due to improved genetic screening and abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 12:14 PM
–

Fertility for most women is going to be pretty good until 40 or so. Some will have issues in their late 30s. Some will have issues regardless of their age. Male fertility is obviously different and you’re right - it’s about whether or not a man can be a good father in his 60s rather than whether or not he can be a father in his 60s.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/24 05:29 AM
6

Just go to r/mommit, r/NewParents, r/workingmoms. The reasons abound.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 06:42 PM
–

Husband can stay at home with the baby so I can work and support the family
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 05:48 PM
–

Clearly they are trying to shock and scare but none of this seems so atrocious to me. surrogacy is morally thorny. I don't think it should be illegal but I do think it should be regulated (and potentially limited) It would be a mistake to end no fault divorce but let's be real here, divorce is bad. Instead of ending no fault divorce, how can we better strengthen marriage? protesting is fine unless it's majorly disruptive to roadways, etc. in which case yeah, do what you gotta do to get those fuc…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 06:35 PM
–

Over the weekend I saw a friendly acquaintance of mine. She came up to me a gratefully told me I had changed her life when I last saw her 1.5 years ago. This woman is in her mid-30s, creative-type with a day job. When I last saw her we had gone to dinner with a mutual friend, and she was complaining about a man she was dating who she liked but didn't have his life figured out and wouldn't commit to her, etc, but she kept on going back to him. I told her to quit it already with these man-boys who…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 03:58 PM
–

My response is...what is she doing with the kids all day? Unless they are watching TV or otherwise screen hypnotized kids are a lot of work. Most SAHPs I know can't really clean unless they are asleep, so at nap time (assuming they nap) or bed time. Hopefully she would be doing something engaging with the kids while they are at home (playing with them, taking them to they playground), but in that case then she's not meal prepping or cleaning. So what are the kids doing all day that she is able t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 10:05 PM
1

They catch feelings…because sex is intimate
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 05:32 AM
–

10/10 with my husband. After you’ve born a man children, the blood that comes with a period is small potatoes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 12:15 AM
10

No but you see sex is a thing a woman has that she gives to men as a reward, not an intimate act shared by two people.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 05:01 PM
5

And the men you work with? The men in your family? The men who are at the grocery store or at the movies? Default for you and your friends maybe. But maybe you are not representative. And also most people are not married at 22
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 03:36 PM
3

Being slightly closer to you physically than is common. Like standing 10-15% closer than normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 05:43 PM
2

For a guy who’s young, dumb and full of cum, I think it is very much experienced as a need, even if it isn’t technically.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 03:50 AM
–

I would question why the fuck he would tell me something so hurtful?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:06 AM
–

Humans seek both novelty and security, which are diametrically opposed. It is an eternal conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:05 AM
–

lol yes
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:03 AM
–

Tell her you think she’s most beautiful when you wake up next to her in the morning
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:02 AM
–

My guess is that statistic would be way less impressive if they were comparing women >40 in both time periods
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 02:01 AM
–

Depends on how old they are. Moms with young kids? Absolutely. Aunties who are watching as there siblings become grandparents? Less so.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:52 PM
–

Nobody is happier single. We climb on two by two to be sure these days continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 08:23 PM
–

Maybe for you but on average married / relationshiped people unsurprisingly have the most sex
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:36 PM
3

It’s certainly more commonplace to hear a husband describe his wife as “his better half.” I attribute this to a couple things - a vestige of the “angel of the house” Victorian motif (the false idea that women are inherently morally superior and are thus in charge of maintaining the moral virtue of the home), and that traditionally men had a more public facing role in work / the community while the woman has more “behind the scenes” ensuring that the home front was in order and making everything …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:41 PM
–

So who has the most sex on average? Is it people in LTRs or single people?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 02:26 PM
5

It was the…implication
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 04:03 AM
–

Ha! Well he is a sly fox. My first crush was on Huey / Duey / Louis so I guess I can’t talk
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 01:22 AM
–

That sounds lovely. Happy Valentine’s Day!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 01:14 AM
–

Who are these people? I’m too old.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/24 01:09 AM
–

in cash/liquid investments or assets?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 04:19 AM
1

You are welcome to kiss me anytime 😘 Were you able to work out your issues?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/24 01:56 PM
1

Nice, how are they spaced? I had my first at 33 and my second at 35. I'm open to #3 in a couple of years but right now life is far from easy with a 3 year old and an infant. So we'll see. I'm lucky because I got pregnant with both very quickly, and have never had a miscarriage. I'm wary to have a late 30s pregnancy but I think I would probably be OK (that said I am absolutely fearful of twins because I think I would un-alive myself with 4). If 3+ kids is important to a woman, it's still risky to…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 05:09 PM
1

It’s a gamble. For a woman who get pregnant easily, 4 in your 30s is possible but it will be physically and emotionally demanding. But that assumes that she gets pregnant easily and has no or limited miscarriages. It’s as safe as a bet as having 2, or even 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 01:39 AM
4

Breastfeeding is anywhere from 0-2 years. And most women don’t get pregnant the first time they try either, it generally takes up to 6 months if there are no issues. You can express breast milk and freeze but only if you have an oversupply, it’s not something to count on. You can also continue to breastfeed while pregnant. If a woman wants a large family id suggest she find a man on the same page, or maybe go for someone older if the men around her own age aren’t ready.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:39 AM
2

It’s possible but I wouldn’t bet on it actually happening. That’s almost 8 straight years of being pregnant or breastfeeding, it’s a lot on a woman. if it’s really important to have a large family, it’s better to start earlier than later. Secondary fertility does happen and maternal age is often a factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 12:24 AM
3

I mean you technically could but that would be miserable for the mom both mentally and physically (it’s recommended that women space babies out by at least a year), and the children would not get the intensive care they need as babies.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 10:58 PM
32

The only women who can’t conceive by 30 are the ones with fertility issues that would have also affected them in their 20s. The only issue for women who wait until their early or mid 30s to start a family is it limits the number of children they will have (can’t be a mom of 4 if you start at 32, unless you have multiples). It’s certainly risky to wait until your late 30s to start trying but even then it’s usually fine, just less of a sure thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 03:05 PM
–

I don’t speak for all women. But yes, of course women want to be wanted. By an attractive man. Chad is good at creating chemistry. Women need to be wary of charming men as it is often smoke and mirrors but they can be very gullible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 12:10 PM
2

And the ones who are doing it for the first time usually have wives close in age (it’s the second timers who got with the younger woman and she wants kids who are fathers in their 40s)
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:13 AM
–

If my husband doesn’t like my cookies then something weird is happing in the world. He is smarter than to try me like that tho if he didn’t like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 01:10 AM
11

looks here are a stand-in for innate ability that exists irrespective of effort. A handsome man is effortlessly able to sleep with women. An average man needs to expend more effort. The naturally brilliant student gets into harvard. The dumber one has to spend more time studying. Life's not far, so what?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 06:27 PM
11

Effort is great but outcomes are what matters. Some people don’t need to apply much effort and can get the same or better outcomes. It is not fair. It is life. As someone who values accountability, I would not consider the inherit unfairness of life as a justification for being unethical or manipulative. But others, yourself, Cardi B, seem more ok with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:14 PM
9

sex with a hot tall buff guy is not equal to sex with an average guy
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:06 PM
18

You mean the more desirable candidate gets the better comp package? How extremely unjust
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 05:01 PM
5

women don’t get aroused that easily. Being really hot helps with arousal. women are demi-flexible
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:52 PM
17

That’s what I said to my employer. If you don’t give me more money I will simply start stealing from you. Because I am a responsible and ethical person.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:48 PM
1

It takes at least 2 parents, plus a lot of support. 1 parent is not ideal, regardless of how many role models or what the village looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 04:46 PM
5

We don’t necessarily need to limit ourselves to ideal scenarios, life is messy, complex and beautiful regardless. But acceptance of that also doesn’t mean we should pretend to be blind and deaf when confronted with the obvious, for the sake of kindness and inclusivity. I’m glad it worked out for your friend and I hope it works out for my neighbor too.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 04:10 AM
3

I have a neighbor who did this and now has a baby boy. She is responsible, loving and dedicated and I think she will absolutely be a great mom. I do though harbor my suspicions that as he gets older he will resent that she purposefully brought him into this world without a father. Doesn't mean that he shouldn't be alive, or that he made a mistake. But I do not think this arrangement is ideal for the welfare of the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 02:33 AM
–

If men didn’t enjoy whores there would be no whores. But the issue is they hate them at the same time, and thus the stigma. But if there’s no stigma associated with whoring them agree, there should be no stigma associated with accusing your wife of being a whore
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 02:47 PM
–

Men complain that we live in a gynocentric society and then demand female approval over every little thing. SMH.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 02:33 PM
–

imagine your parents set up a security system for every time you leave / enter the house. I mean they trust you but can you ever TrUlY kNoW?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 02:31 PM
–

lol as long as there is no stigma associated with whoring I guess it’s fine
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 02:26 PM
–

The problem is insurance doesn’t cover parental genetic screening if you are under 35. If that were to change than sometime routine, from a medical standpoint, would be way easier to pass through
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 02:25 PM
–

Does that…not apply to everyone? Loss aversion?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 02:02 PM
–

Is Poor Things a BP masterpiece?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 01:26 PM
–

Proving causation outside of a randomized controlled trial or natural experiment isn’t really possible, and would be arguably unethical in the case of marriage
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 11:10 PM
3

It's lifestyle inflation. People who are already economically secure don't want to move to a worse house / not give their kids the same opportunities they had / buy lower quality food in order to afford more kids. They want to maintain their lifestyle, which is very difficult with expensive children.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 06:08 PM
5

Lack of dating is definitely an issue, yes. But we also have to contend with people are getting married and choosing to have much smaller families. Middle class and up families likely have around 2 children, '1 and done' is increasingly common,3 is increasingly uncommon and 4 is basically unheard of for non-religious parents with college degrees. So what can we do about it? I have said this before and will say it again... There’s no silver bullet. Better economic support for parents (maternity /…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 03:46 PM
–

Going outside is a risk most men don’t have to take. If men don’t get married there are two options: every child is born to a single mother the human race ceases to exist. Men don’t have to accept responsibility but it certainly curtails their right to complain (or how annoying it is when they complain)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 02:39 PM
1

The relationship between happiness and marriage is positive. Divorced people are less happy but most people who get married die married, and not by suicide.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 03:16 AM
0

She constantly chases guys out of her league. Mid 30s and singles. Refuses to keep seeing a guy if there’s no spark, and only gets sparks with guys who aren’t into her. She then hounds them (but rarely actually sleeps with them, she is not promiscuous) She is mid 30s and single with frozen eggs. Cute but not beautiful - doe-eyes but a little overweight with a punky-Brewster style. Very liberal, career oriented, lives by herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 01:57 AM
1

Completely neglecting the top factor in a DB which is caring for a household with young children, and how draining it is
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 01:53 AM
1

Was she on some type of hormonal birth control?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 01:51 AM
2

I hate trash everywhere. It’s personally inconvenient for me to use a rubbish bin
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 12:39 AM
–

Yeah, that is also cold. Two things can be cold at the same time. It is known.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:06 PM
–

It makes me look more polished and feminine. And I’m 36, so no, my natural beauty is (no longer) enough lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:04 PM
–

I just don’t see how someone can turn off feelings for a 7 year old child they raised from infancy. That shit is cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:03 PM
2

I feel the same way. Who GAF about schroedinger’s infidelity? If my husband cheats but I live in a reality where he’s a great partner and gives me no reason for suspicion then that’s fine enough. But if he cheats and is sloppy enough for me to find out I would make that fucker pay
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:02 PM
–

Yes it’s not fair. It’s not fair to the man or the child, who are blameless. We do not live in a just world.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 07:31 PM
–

What about Selena Gomez?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 07:29 PM
–

Yeah those are all things the mother did. The child is innocent. Something can be not your fault but still your responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 07:29 PM
–

It is reasonable to be angry with that woman. Heck, it's even reasonable to force her to pay restitution! Especially if you were married. But that's a pretty cold thing to do to a child, how are indeed human people who have thoughts and feelings by the time they are 7. I'm not sure what a man should do in that scenario, but I would imagine the child's feelings should be factored somewhat.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 06:51 PM
2

Of course it is a combination, but a sequenced combination. First it was attraction at first. That is what opened the door Second was personality - I got to know him and I just liked being around him. We enjoyed the same activities, had similar tastes in humor, music, film/television. We both enjoyed talking about politics, philosophy. We met at 21 so money / status didn't really come up as a core driver but it was certainly nice that as we got to know each other I learned that he went to an Ivy…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 06:36 PM
2

I can’t believe I’m saying this but… Being CPed is a past event. Your mom looking to land a man to support her children has no bearing on whether or not she was CPed in the past. And like, getting jizzed in is how the babies are made, I’m afraid. Even single mothers for the most part aren’t fucking multiple mean simultaneously. Of course SOME probably plenty are not (usually just fucking the BD. Just like how your mom was fucking your dad when you were born).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 07:41 PM
2

lol did I say you were trying to fuck your mom? I guess the point is be careful about making derogatory insults when those insults apply equally well to your own mother / every single mother who has existed. But if he’s not concerned about talking about how his mom and grandma etc got creampied then I guess carry on
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 05:06 PM
2

I would but I’m married 😭 not into ENM either
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 05:04 PM
–

It depends on so much. What is the job? How many kids? What are their temperaments like? Both are hard. I’ve been home with my kids and they drive me crazy. My 3 year old has only recently gotten into independent play and even then is only good for a 20 min interval until she’s all up in my business. And the baby is a baby. It’s hard because I need to watch her like a hawk around him or else she tries to pick him up and play with him like a doll which can hurt him. It makes it very challenging t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 04:24 PM
2

I can’t just leave a “so’s your mom” on the table when it applies so perfectly
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 03:58 PM
3

Hey as long as you understand that if there’s no marriage and no single mothers then there will be no more people, we are square.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:31 PM
3

If no man gets married and no women fuck and conceive before marriage then the human race will cease to exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:24 PM
3

If no man gets married then all mothers will be single mothers. That is the contradiction. And if parents aren’t married, then children typically do not grow up with both biological parents in their home. Look at the stats.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 01:40 PM
6

Yes, in which case men need to get married
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 05:33 AM
7

Same. My husband is definitely cleaner / better organized than I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 04:51 AM
15

It’s not an aesthetic difference to have dirty dishes piled up in the sink. It’s not an aesthetic differences to have overflowing trash and dirty laundry bins It’s not an aesthetic difference to have floors covered with dirt and grime, and mildew all over the bathroom. Especially in a house with children, these sorts of conditions create an unsafe and neglectful environment. So yeah, everybody better do their fare share of dishes, laundry, trash, cleaning. It’s about hygiene not whether or not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 04:50 AM
5

If men don’t get married then women don’t get married and all mothers are single mothers (unless they all become lesbians) If men don’t want women to be single mothers they can always, ya know, marry the mother of their child (or persuade her to get an abortion)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 04:38 AM
5

1) according the the census bureau an unmarried women is a single mother 2) unmarried partnered people are much more likely to decouple than married people, and thereby lead to the creation of more single mothers 3) the men who don’t want children aren’t being contradictory. But “let’s all decide to depopulate the planet” is not going to work out well for the millions of people born in the last month 4) double standard /= societal contradiction
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:43 AM
8

I feel like you are not getting the point of this post - it’s to identify contradictory views, which I have done. Note, there are multiple contradictory views identified within the post. One of the contradictory views is that “single mothers shouldn’t exist but also men shouldn’t get married” Regarding your somewhat unrelated question, would not force anyone to do anything. But I would absolutely strongly advise women to avoid pregnancy outside of marriage. That can be accomplished by 1) using c…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:20 AM
5

Be married before getting pregnant (or give birth). But for that to happen, men need to get married. Thus the contradiction. So thank you for proving my point!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 12:29 AM
7

Yes well there’s one way to reduce single motherhood while continuing to populate the earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 09:21 PM
26

"single mothers are the worst thing" (bad for children, dating prospects) "men should not get married"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 09:06 PM
15

You are evidence of your mom being creampied. As are we all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 09:05 PM
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I agree, the Simon Biles husband thing was kinda silly. He came across as kind of conceited but hey, she's happy with him, so the backlash didn't really add up. But, I wouldn't let "fear of being scolded" guide you in what you are and are not allowed to do as an adult. And one would think that an advocate of RP thinking would be supportive of the "be the prize" mindset for both sexes (unless of course, TRP is just sexist drivel, which is always a possibility) For example, men must approach and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:47 PM
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The “You are the prize” mentality applies to both sexes
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 04:59 PM
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You need data to show that fathers see less of their children when they stop living with their child’s mother? Really? When fathers request 50/50 custody they almost always get it. The sad part is, they just don’t really want it. Maybe they prefer to move on and try again with a new woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 01:40 AM
2

Unmarried partnered women are much more likely to stop living with the father while their children are still young. When parents break up, fathers see much less of their children
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 03:42 PM
1

What is your experience caring for a newborn?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 02:24 PM
1

Dan Savages describes it as playing cops and robbers with your pants off. Women enjoy feeling irresistible to an attractive men and enjoy experiencing male strength. It doesn’t need to be more complicated than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 02:18 PM
3

Maybe not most, but a lot. 40% of births are to single mothers and 50/50 is not the norm in these cases
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 01:54 PM
1

It sounds like both of you experienced intense pressure and responsibility to care for that poor babe (who I hope is doing well). I’m sorry that you felt no one cared. My feeling is that both mom and dad experience pressure and responsibility to care for the family - mom needs to provide the direct care needs for baby, and dad needs do the work to make sure everyone has the funds to stay housed and fed. Of course mom can generate income and dad can change 2am nappies but at the end of the day, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 12:50 PM
0

Being a parent to a newborn is a 24/7 job. Especially if you have other young children in your care who all need to be clothed, fed and cared for in an environment that’s not so messy it’s impacting peoples mental health. both parents share the responsibility of maintaining the household but the baby is more so reliant on its mother. Fathers of course also have stressors and responsibilities. They are just different than those that mothers have.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 07:03 PM
2

The premise of my post that the physical care and sustenance need to care for a newborn is immense, and disproportionately placed on the mother, for obvious biological reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 03:06 PM
2

To survive, no. But just like manufactured chemically composed meat is not equivalent to the real thing, neither is the formula equivalent or superior to mothers milk (Americans have their whole life to consume corn syrup, perhaps it is prudent to at least avoid it in infancy)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 12:31 PM
11

Thanks. As someone who has done both, it certainly is. And way, WAY, more important.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 04:37 AM
12

lol pressure and responsibility. Talk to me when your tits are needed for a baby to survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 04:24 AM
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Snow days hit different when you have kids and limited PTO
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 01:23 AM
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For the sake of simplicity let’s just say: Physically: kissing and above. I could probably overlook dirty dancing if it didn’t happen in front of my face Emotionally: inappropriate 1-1 texts with a non-relative woman that include a strong desire / longing to see each other, heart/kissing emojis If we’re talking porn then anything interactive is a no-fly zone
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 08:09 PM
4

Paying for dates is more about intrasex competition than female standards for men. If a man stops paying for dates, but other men keep doing it to enjoy the advantage it brings them, then he will likely be at a disadvantage. If all men just stopped paying for dates then they’d all be better off. It’s basically a prisoners dilemma.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 01:37 AM
6

I mean different things. Economic vulnerability is a concern, absolutely. Another is that the physical impact on childbearing and the status of being a parent has an outsized impact on men can women when it comes to finding new partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 12:42 AM
1

That’s great that your parents had an amicable divorce. More often than not divorces don’t actually reduce conflict. The parents continue to fight each other and use their kid as a weapon. Your parents’ divorce may have been amicable but it (likely) resulted in the following: each parent spent less time with you each parent had diminished resources to spend on you. Unless your spouse is actively horrible or abusive, and as long as you can get along with them without high stress or conflict, it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 12:41 AM
5

Only because marriage makes it more difficult to "un-couple" (that is, break up). That is literally the point. It's not the only reason but ofc it's a big one. If you look at two different cohorts of couples with kids - one cohort married, the other unmarried - the latter group are more likely to dissolve, and their children end up doing worse because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:17 PM
122

Having babies with a man who is not your husband is risky for women. Ain’t no way I’d be someone’s forever girlfriend and baby’s mama.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 08:18 PM
4

Honestly I'm kinda tired of the whole "all men are r*pists" rhetoric that women spew nowadays. How are you exposed to this so much that you are sick of it? Where are the womens saying this? Around half of women have a r*pe fantasy Rape fantasies are very common and have been for ages. They are fantasies. Women fantasize about coercive sex with men they would like to have sex with consensually So no, in no ways are women “leaning towards men who would SA them,” at least not as a function of an in…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 06:21 PM
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Don’t all guys do well IF they look good and have money and status? That is…quite literally the core tenet of TRP. Of course good looking wealthy high status guy can still blow it with a women by coming across like an asshole. But the slutty borderline ladies will still go for it, thus confirming his RP attitudes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 03:32 AM
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