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resilientspirit Archive

View 0 posts and 50 comments by resilientspirit on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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46

That's been my experience. I used to be actively involved in kink and BDSM communities. The more therapy I got, the less kinky I became. I used to crave being a submissive and someone calling me good girl. The more therapy I got, the less dependent I became on external approval because I had grown to know and appreciate my own intrinsic value. My fiance still has a kigh kink drive as a submissive, and I don't find any of his kinks gross or dangerous. I indulge him, but I'm not as into.it as I us…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/22 12:36 AM
152

I used to love casual dick. But I realized I was using sex as a substitute for real care and intimacy. I don't think I was a brainwashed pick-me. I was just traumatized. I hadn't healed my trauma yet and my own self-worth issues made me feel unlovable. So I settled for casual sex as a consolation prize. At the time, the illusion of intimacy was better than nothing at all. After doing my inner work, casual sex is just not appealing anymore. I deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/22 04:34 PM
68

He just awoke from being cryogenically frozen. He thinks it's still 2003, and that "texting" is still a unique or unusual form of communication.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/22 05:49 PM
8

You will make great husband someday 🙂 I'm only sorta kidding. I'm divorced and so is my fiance. My ex husband treated my job like a hobby and I was the default setting for all home/child jobs. My fiance was working 60-80 hour weeks because his wife kept job hopping and complaining about them not having money, but kept spending. He nearly had a nervous breakdown. Now, he works part time for $15/hr, and I work full time for around $130k. He absolutely pulls his weight around the house and and with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 12:25 AM
11

I'm so glad I got divorced and don't have to argue with anyone for buying new things for my younger son. My boys are two years apart, and about half my younger son's clothes are things his brother grew out of, but he deserves new things of his own too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/22 12:08 AM
15

No. This shit is fantasy, and leads to staying in toxic relationships. This Ride or Die mentality really needs to go. There's a few billion men in this world. The insanity of thinking there's Just One for me, and if I miss that boat, I'm doomed to be alone is the fear that keeps women in bad relationships far past their expiration date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/22 05:53 PM
84

What!?! That's absurd. 25 is literally the neurological end of childhood. It's around 25 when the prefrontal cortex fully natures. It's like, we do similar dumb shit in our teens and early 20's, but by late 20's, you don't get a pass on that shit anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 06:00 AM
225

Right?!? Someone posted in that thread "I hope she dumps OP and has sex with his parents".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:13 AM
42

Happy Cake Day! 🎂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/22 12:06 AM
717

I'm actively participating in that thread at the moment. Best theory is that dude has a tattoo fetish, and gf tattooing mom made his brain literally explode. Like, he fetishizes tattooed women, she was never in the running for wife, and her sharing a wonderful moment with his mom and tattooing her exploded his fetish, how he sees his gf, his assumptions about his parents, AND transformed his Pure Sweet Mother into someone who falls into his "fetish bucket". His reaction is rage, disgust, and bet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/22 10:56 PM
16

Honestly, any husband worth having wouldn't ask her to this. A good husband would tell her to put it in retirement accounts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 06:48 PM
16

deleted my incorrect claim on the duration of their relationship But, he's definitely asking for husband level privileges on a boyfriend status. Her: It appears you have requested the relationship feature "significant financial merging" option on the Girlfriend Package. I'm sorry, in order to grant your request, you'll have to upgrade to our Wife Package, with Prenuptial Agreement to access this feature. To access the Wife Package features, place one diamond ring on the the hand of girlfriend, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/22 06:41 PM
41

They'll debate everything like pendantic assholes because they aren't the ones negatively affected. They aren't the ones being trafficked or exploited, so everything can just be a theoretical thought experiment for them. Must be fucking nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/22 12:34 AM
10

After I read this, I told my fiance, "if anything ever happened to you, I don't think I would date again. It sounds miserable. It took me 40 years to find you, and I don't have another 40 in me to spend looking". He hugged me and told me, "I would want you to be happy, and learn to love again if something happened to me. But I get it." ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 02:24 PM
9

Jealous! I was always touched by the story of the fan he saved from suicide. He said it was the best thing he ever did in his life. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 03:49 PM
4

I love Scotty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/22 03:39 PM
73

My Prius could handle snow. My tiny Nissan Versa could handle snow. The only time I ever got kinda stuck was driving six blocks to a hotel that work was putting us up in during the Chicago Snowpocalypse of 2011. Cheap ass needs to buy himself some tires.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 05:40 PM
45

Nailed it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/22 05:56 AM
3

Ahhh, thank you. Thankfully, I haven't been on an OLD in a decade. I asked my fiance on our first date because he posted something about Tinder on Facebook, and I was all, "Oh honey....honey no. Come here.".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 09:16 PM
-6

Often they don't. I was in an open marriage because from the moment we decided to make the relationship "serious", we also decided not to be monogamous. We kept our OKC profiles, and literally had links to each other's profiles, but pretty sure we were the minority. My fiance and I are monogamous. Non-monogamy isn't entirely off the table, but it would be have to be under very particular circumstances, so I guess that makes us monogamish? I don't think it'll seriously come up anytime soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 08:12 PM
3

What is OLD???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/22 08:02 PM
7

My whole bridal set (engagement ring and wedding band) was $4000. And I fucking love it. My fiance and I picked our rings together and paid for them together based on our incomes. It was the first large joint purchase of our shared life. I make SIGNIFICANTLY more than he does (like 5x more), but he still contributed as much as our agreements on budget/income disparity dictated. There is no magic number. It's the number that makes nobody feel like someone is cheaping out or being selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/22 11:36 PM
9

His behavior to date might even warrant an emergency protection order.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/22 08:04 PM
141

There's even a name for it, Walkaway Wife Syndrome. Most of the authors agree that coming back for m this brink is hard, and that men who finally realize what they did, but it was too late, make great second husbands. That may be true, but I should never have had to throw a tantrum, and involve lawyers, to get him to take my feelings and my pain seriously. If he's a better husband to his next wife, great. My fiance's probably going to be a better husband to me than to his first wife if this theo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 01:37 AM
7

If she has kids with him, she can't pull the same stunt. Because a guy like this will be totally fine letting his own children suffer. She'll have to step up every damn time when the options are "do the thing, or watch my kids suffer". That's what happened to me. I wasn't willing to let my kids suffer because their dad refused to do anything. Oddly, he was perfectly capable of stepping up after I stepped out. It just proves he was capable the whole time, and actively chose to exploit me instead.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/21 12:09 AM
5

I quickly realized that I don't have the patience for other people's kids. The good one's, sure, but not the assholes. As a teacher, I have to teach all the kids, and felt like a failure when kids struggled in my class. When I was student teaching, the cooperating teacher criticized everything I did, and I was putting in 90 hours a week to "get it right" and was constantly demoralized. I almost quit midway through. After that, I really doubted I could be a decent teacher and went and did somethi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:50 PM
10

Thanks OP!! I wish you all the happiness, and I hope you do great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:06 AM
12

I have a bachelor's in Sociology and went to grad school to be a social studies teacher. I got my teaching certs in 2009, just in time for the economy to crash, and teachers to get laid off. I subbed at a couple of different schools for over a year, and finally gave up and took a job as a customer service rep at a company that provided cloud-based payroll software to small businesses. I learned payroll, SAAS systems, and did that for four years. I got burnt out on call center, and took a gig as …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 02:04 AM
7

I got into tech too. I do HR software consulting. $$$
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:24 AM
59

Hell yeah!!! I make 6-figures, and it's like "fuck off" money. I spend pretty responsibly, but if someone is toxic, I can tell them fuck off. My ex husband was...a difficult man, and when I started making this kind of money, I divorced him. Dude after that was a whiney manipulator. He fucked right off too. My fiance is amazing, supportive, does his share, is good to my kids, works 25-30 hours a week at the hardware store. Cool, I don't need his money, I need a real partner. Having fuck off money…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 12:21 AM
14

I feel bad for her. I don't think she realizes that breaking up with him means it's likely she MAY have to give up on motherhood. Staying with him means definitely giving up on that dream. She should dump him and freeze her eggs because this guy has already strung get along for 8 years. He just has to do it for 4 or 5 more before that ship sails for good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 10:41 PM
88

It's pretty amazing how quickly they understand consent when we want to put things in their ass. The can pretend to be confused about consent, but become completely un-confused when it concerns THEIR body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 08:49 PM
3

I was looking in that sub and couldn't find the posts. Do you have links?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:12 PM
54

100% accurate. My ex husband wouldn't do his share, and I ended up in a psych ward. Dude after that was a covert narc. Fiance actually pulls his weight. If I cook, he cleans. If he cooks, I clean. We both care for my kids, do laundry, all of it. I'm the breadwinner, he wakes 30-35 hours a week, do takes on extra.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 07:42 PM
11

Honestly, she should have demanded he pay for the jewelry that he stole and the credit card debt for money spent on mistresses. It's called "misappropriation of marital assets" or something similar. Divorce is kinda like suing each other, and she really should have been compensated. I'm sure it was an ugly divorce though, and sometimes you just have to take the kids for it to just be done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 05:22 AM
9

It's because they don't feel up to the challenge of acting in ways that make them want-able. The ones need to be needed because they know they aren't worth wanting do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:54 PM
11

That's what I thought. I bet he got really angry at her, and is using this get her fawn all over him so he can feed his narcissistic supply. He is definitely pulling a "you did a totally prudent normal thing that makes me have icky feelings, so I'm going to pull a massive guilt trip to manipulate you into giving me access to your money and a bunch of flattery so I can feel ok again". I've been in that position and it sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:35 PM
15

I hope she sued him for "improper allocation of marital assets" if they divorced. She shouldn't be on the hook for any of that debt, AND is entitled to have it essentially paid back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:30 PM
14

I have learned by experience that men who have enough self-confidence, who are satisfied with being wanted without being needed, who feel like they actually have to appreciate you and are grateful for the opportunity to be with you, don't need to resort to financial or any other kind of abuse in their relationships. Men who are insecure, who aren't happy unless they are "needed" because they know they don't act in way that makes them wanted, resort to abuse to manipulate and trap their partners.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:21 PM
433

I recently got an IUD. I'm 41 and my periods got absolutely horrible. However, I also have a fiance who NEVER put up a fuss about wearing condoms before I got the IUD. If he had, he would have been kicked to the curb. I also have an ex husband who impregnated me twice because he didn't like condoms. Turned out he liked parenting even less, and treated me like the bang-maid, so I left. Ladies, never sacrifice your education, career, or any amount of financial self sufficiency for a man. If I had,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:32 AM
1

We consider the engagement ring and wedding ring to just be "the rings". I never really thought if them as a separate costs because they're a set. Though you do make a good point. If we go in together on the rings, what happens if we break the engagement? There's going to be stupid math involved. He and I should discuss how we'd handle that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 06:28 AM
3

My buys are 7 and 5 and have never been spanked. I was spanked as a child and it screwed me up. We just went to by boyfriend's parents' house to visit over labor day weekend. It was the first time my met my partner's family (his mom, sad, sister, BIL, niece). They commented on how well behaved my kids were. My children are well behaved because I dicipline them. I don't need to hit them or yell at them to get them to behave properly. Don't ever let anyone tell you kids need to be hit to learn to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:01 PM
3

Have boundaries early. Boundaries around your time, your life, kids if you have them, all that. My current partner didn't even meet my kids until we'd been dating for 6 months. He's a great guy, works hard, holds a job, keeps his house in order, and is super supportive. But he had ONE big issue. He drinks too much, like every day. I told him in June that there was no way I would let him live with me until he made significant changes in his drinking habit. He's been trying to do better. Two weeks…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:19 PM
14

It's amazing how much inner work we can do when "I'm more afraid of another toxic relationship than I am of being alone" motivates us to change. Maladaptive trauma responses are a bitch to unpack.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:44 AM
10

I realized it was because I had some serious codependency issues, and as a result dated hyper-needy, man-baby narcissists and borderlines. I've been in therapy for four years, and have done a lot of work around needs, boundaries, assertiveness, trauma, codependency, and healthy communication. And now I don't date LVM's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:41 AM
15

I literally just read in another dub about people getting DMs from Pedos the instant they post there, despite DM's being against the rules of the sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 05:13 PM
19

I didn't know Build-A-Bear sold dudes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 04:56 AM
5

That's pretty insightful. I realized I was a magnet for Narcissists and Borderlines because I was codependent. I read The Power of Vulnerability (Brene Brown) and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck right after my dad passed in September. I've been in therapy for four years, and it was like the stars aligned and I finally realized how I was contributing to my own misery by settling for LVM who were basically a bunch of red flags in a trenchcoat pretending to be a man. When I decided that my next…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 04:43 AM
4

Dating LVM (as I have) really screws up your bullshit detector because of the gaslighting and abuse they put you through. If either of your own parents were these types, that further messed up your barometer of what "normal and appropriate" are from the get-go. After four years of therapy, I'm getting much better at having boundaries around these types as well. It's amazing how well having boundaries weeds out the people who are looking to exploit you. It's like a superpower. I have mental illne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 09:14 PM
1

I sent my boyfriend a link to the best porn I ever found the other day. What made it good was that everyone in it seemed to genuinely enjoying themselves, experiencing genuine pleasure, and the consent was consistently enthusiastic. They were either giving Oscar-worthy performances, or they weren't acting. Most porn is horribly objectifying, and I think that type porn is definitely problematic. But I also think that porn showing people genuinely enjoying themselves is the "good porn", and there …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 02:50 PM
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