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river_tam2x2 Archive

View 6 posts and 40 comments by river_tam2x2 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I didn’t want kids for the longest time - my entire 20s, basically. Then I met my husband and something shifted instantly. It wasn’t a “my biological clock is ticking and I need babies now” thing, it was an “oh… yeah, I want to have this man’s babies” thing. Honestly I wouldn’t worry about it too much unless you plan to marry young. If that’s the case, it’ll be a lot more important to have a plan locked in so you can get for someone whose goals align. Otherwise, just focus on your growth and liv…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/26 01:13 AM
9

Thank you so much for this! I did end up going with just me and the baby, and I’m honestly so glad I did. It ended up being exactly what I needed. You’re 100% right - this is a temporary situation. I’m glad you said what you did about how he must be feeling - like he’s doing his best but still failing his family. One could make an argument that I’m entitled to be selfish at 36 weeks pregnant, but honestly he does work so hard for us. I know him well enough to recognize that this behavior is a sy…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/25 11:50 PM
5

It’s just a couple more weeks that he’s in class - but I’m due with our second baby on June 2, so that’ll be another stressor in the mix. I expect things to stabilize around the September/October timeframe. For me, dealing with the crankiness is more upsetting than not having him there, which is why I’m leaning towards letting him sleep and going on our own. I’ve expressed all of this to him except for the lack of trust bit, I’m not sure how to share that without it really hurting his feelings. …
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/25 10:24 AM
6

He’s already asleep - if I wake him he’ll likely come with us, but he’ll be cranky and distant the whole time. He recently left the military and developed some bad sleep issues on his last deployment, so I avoid waking him up as much as possible. The gaming has only become an issue the past couple months. He’s in a new job, and he’s taking classes at night that keep him up until 11pm. So during the week, we see each other during dinner and that’s it. We haven’t gone to bed together in a couple o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/25 09:27 AM
6

Thank you! When people started speaking negatively about him on my original post, I felt upset because they didn’t know the context of what he’s been going through. Then it was like a lightbulb moment - of course they don’t know, because I didn’t include it. And why didn’t I include it? Because I was too focused on validating my own feelings of insecurity, rather than giving him the same grace he’s given me over these past several months.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/24 09:54 PM
3

I would love to write a field report on how things are going, probably in a couple of weeks so we can see how well it’s working. I will say, the past couple of days have felt much better. We’re spending less time together and talking less than we did before, but the quality of that time and the conversation we do have is back to how it used to be. Over the past few days, I’ve generally feel a lot happier and no longer rejected/unloved. Looking forward to sharing how it goes!
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/24 10:44 AM
2

I cook food, serve snacks, and make light conversations with our guests. I am never one on one with another man. You’re making a lot of incorrect assumptions about this situation and our lives to satisfy your own judgments.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 04:33 PM
1

I’m not sure where in my post you got the impression that he has a close relationship with this girl. I get the feeling you’re not here to give actionable advice, and I’m not interested in engaging with “gotcha” questions and comments.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 04:28 PM
2

Correct. Because joking and laughing with other men is healthy and encouraged. Joking and laughing with another woman, when that has been lacking in our relationship, feels hurtful. Because men and women are different, and same-sex vs opposite-sex friendships carry very different dynamics and implications.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/24 04:24 PM
2

We did, yes! It’s unconventional, but we want 3-4 kids. With both of us being in our 30s, we know there’s limited time to make that happen, but we didn’t want to rush wedding planning. So we decided to start trying before getting married rather than wait. If we both were younger, we probably would have followed the usual path.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 11:06 AM
9

I feel sad about this comment, but honestly I think we have both been kind of lame after having a baby. It’s what’s at the crux of why I’m feeling jealous and hurt - I miss feeling fun and silly and giggly together. I really can’t fault him for being more detached. He does a lot to make me happy, and I’m grateful for it. But the reality is that right before our child was born, he had a really intense and dangerous situation at work that could have killed him - then directly into new parenthood w…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 11:01 AM
2

I understand why it would be weird, but I think in terms of setting them up, it’s more about his friend (who’s younger, a little shy, and has been single for a year) than it is the girl. I guess it doesn’t strike me as odd because there’s a very wide range of ages amongst the coworkers, so I’m used to having people over from teens to forties (although it’s a male-dominated field, so it’s always been guys until now). Now that I’ve had a chance to reflect on it, I feel sad because I see that caref…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 10:54 AM
16

Right now it’s just me, my fiance, the girl, and the guy he’s trying to set her up with. The baby is asleep, so we’re all hanging out together. I’m having a hard time fitting myself in to the conversation still, so I’m just focused on keeping things pleasant for our guests. I think I’m not even really jealous of her, but the way that my fiance is interacting with her. Ever since the baby, it’s been so hard to get him to engage in conversation with me. I’m in constant competition with his phone f…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 12:37 AM
10

Thanks for your response - I’m staying mindful of not being upset with her, she’s just being herself and I can’t fault her for it. I know she’s excited to have found new friends after just showing up at the office. As for my fiance, I’m feeling disappointed and disrespected, but keeping a happy face on for our guests. I’m not sure how to bring up how I feel without feeling like an unpleasant nag. Especially since this other girl is so fun and carefree, and being a new mom I feel a little less ca…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/24 12:28 AM
1

“Doesn’t really watch it” seems out of alignment with 3+ times per day.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 09:55 PM
1

The main question I have is - why did he lie to me when I (purposefully) never even asked in the first place? How can I trust that he’s telling the truth about other things now?
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 08:45 PM
1

Thank you for your input! The one positive of him being gone so long is it afforded me ample time to figure out how I really felt about it. I can say that I’m truly okay with any amount of porn, as long as it doesn’t affect our relationship and he’s not hiding things. I don’t need or want him to like, announce it every time he watches or anything. But if it comes up in conversation, I expect him to at least deflect rather than outright lie to me. This next part is not my job to manage, but I’d a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 10:27 PM
3

That’s why I’m going to take the STFU approach. He’s a strong man with good values, and he’s made positive change with zero input from me before (stopping drinking, for example). It still worries me, even if it’s not my place to manage. At this point, I think the main thing that really bothers me is the dishonesty.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 03:17 PM
1

Oh, that’s 100% at play. I even asked him if that was true for him, and he agreed that he was worried I’d be upset. That’s really my core issue here, not the porn - honesty is incredibly important to me. Now I find myself wondering if there’s anything else he’s lied about because it’s what he thinks I want to hear.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:13 PM
2

I like that idea - I mostly would want to know whether it’s an addiction or not, and to find out why he felt he had to lie to me about his porn use (especially since I never asked him).
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:07 PM
1

I needed to find a video in my history for class, but he had apparently signed into his Google account on my computer. So when I went to find the video, I got an eyeful of porn instead.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 02:04 PM
1

Thanks for your input - to be clear, I don’t have an issue with porn itself. We’re both high libido, on an at least once daily schedule. I’m not concerned about the quality of our love life. What I am concerned about is the potential for it to be an addiction, just like I’d be concerned about excessive fast food intake or something similar. Based on what he’s said about porn in the past and what he said during our conversation, it’s clear to me that it’s not something he wants to watch so often …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 11:54 AM
6

Ok, that’s a fantastic point and exactly the advice I needed to stay strong and STFU. I do trust and respect him so much - I’m going to interpret this situation in the best possible light and assume he had difficulty being honest because of the shame or an assumption that that’s what I’d want to hear, not because he’s intentionally hiding things. Thank you so much!
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 03:53 AM
12

Thank you for the advice - your input is always valuable. To clarify, it does matter to me, but I don’t feel like it’s my business. It matters to me because the frequency worries me (3+ times per day, every day). I’m concerned it might be an addiction. But, I haven’t noticed any ill effects on our relationship. The reason I took so long to bring it up is that it needed to be an in-person discussion, and he’s been gone this whole time until now. I think what I’d be hoping for by bringing it up wo…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 03:22 AM
1

I agree that it seems like porn addiction. I’m not saying it’s not an issue - what I do think, though, is it’s not my place to force him to change or get help. It has to be intrinsically motivated if it has a chance of working or getting better. If I put myself in the position of confronting him, and telling him it’s a problem and he needs to get better - but he’s not ready to make that commitment yet - all that will happen is he’ll get better at hiding it, and then his guilt and shame will go i…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/23 11:17 AM
2

Thank you for the insight! I appreciate you asking your boyfriend for feedback. Having him initiate less is definitively an outcome I want to avoid, as it seems my drive is slightly higher than his already. I think if I do say anything, it’ll be as you suggested and simply letting him know I saw his history and apologizing for intruding on his privacy. If he wants to take the discussion further that will be his choice, but I won’t press. And I agree, waiting until he comes back and has had time …
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 01:59 PM
1

Usually 3-5 times per week, plus minimum 2 per week bjs. I’d be thrilled with daily sex, but have been letting him take the lead on his preferred frequency.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 01:56 PM
3

I really like this - I wouldn’t have to feel like I’m hiding disrespectful behavior on my end, and I avoid creating even deeper disrespect by offering unsolicited opinions on what I saw. If I decide to let him know, I think think this is the approach I’m going to go with! I have five months to decide, and it’s likely my feelings about this will be tempered by then - so I suppose we’ll see when we get there.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 01:09 AM
1

He’s been gone for two weeks now. Before he left, he signed into his account on my computer and signed me out - didn’t realize he’d done this. I went to check my history to find an article for class, and uh… it wasn’t my history. Oops.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 12:49 AM
3

Thanks for your input! After reading some great advice here, I’ve decided not to address the porn directly, as it isn’t really the porn that I’m having an issue with. What I really want to relieve myself of is the feeling of guilt for breaking trust, when I continued to scroll through his history instead of immediately logging him out of my computer. Through everyone’s great advice, I’ve realized that there’s realistically no possible way to do this without being disrespectful and damaging our r…
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 12:45 AM
3

By all means, be skeptical! I’m here for advice, not validation. Your feedback is really resonating with me. Especially the part about bringing more guilt and shame if he continues to struggle. That is an outcome I’m keenly aware of and the one I want to avoid most of all. What are your thoughts on letting him know I saw his history? I feel guilt that I looked through it (again, I did not go looking for it, it was an accident). Do I just never say anything and keep that secret to myself?
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 11:21 PM
3

You’re right that I shouldn’t assume that his occasional “lengthier” performances are necessarily tied to porn. There’s no way to know that answer without asking, and I definitely don’t plan to ask that question. So it’s the best use of my time to forget about that aspect. I appreciate the insight on that. As for why I suspect he feels shame, it’s directly tied to comments he’s made about porn in the past. There’s a discrepancy between how he’s behaving and the things he’s said about men who wat…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 11:04 PM
3

I’ve read that - it’s a good one! Not to toot my own horn or go into overly salacious details, but I think I’m pretty darn good in this area. We do at least 2x per week bjs (that don’t end in sex), in addition to 3-5x per week sex. If it were up to me it would be more often, but I let him take the lead on his preferred frequency, and that’s what seems to work for him. I’ve never turned him down a single time, and I take the initiative to suggest and initiate new things (I’ll spare the details). …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 10:10 PM
1

I appreciate your input - to be clear, I’m not worried about the porn usage in general. I’m worried because I don’t think it is something he’s comfortable with. I’m worried that disconnect may be having a negative impact on his wellbeing. Although you’re right about it not being on my paper - maybe I shouldn’t bring up the fact that I saw his history at all? The issue I have with that, though is then it feels like I’m hiding something, and that really doesn’t feel right to me.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 10:03 PM
3

Thank you for your input - I don’t mind a blunt response. Respectfully, I think you may be projecting your personal experiences with women. I’m not concerned at all that the women in the videos are more attractive than me. It’s their job to be - why would I be upset about that? I have two primary concerns. The first is selfish - I would prefer not not be receiving his “leftovers,” energetically speaking. The sex is great, and also there are times where I’ve thought “huh, it feels like he should …
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 09:42 PM
3

Yep, I’ve definitely been reaching out for advice! It’s made a huge difference in helping me figure this out. In terms of what I want his relationship with porn to be - I want it to be one that he feels good about and that’s in alignment with his values. It’s not for me to decide how much that is. If it’s twice a day, every day, and he feels like he can still be proud of himself, then I’m fine with that. If it’s once per month but leads to self loathing, then I’m not fine with that. Of course I’…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 09:23 PM
5

Thank you for the reality check - this is exactly what I needed to hear. It would absolutely be an unnecessary stress on him during this time, and I need to find ways to keep my own emotions and experiences in check without creating a bad situation for him. I actually did have some insecurities from before - I even journaled about them and worked them out for myself. They just make a lot more sense now. Things like him acting horny during the day and saying he was going to make love to me when w…
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/23 08:44 PM
30

Cooking is a skill set that takes time, but the good news is that as long as you can follow directions you’ll be okay! A big part of it is learning all the “whys” of what you’re doing. That doesn’t come overnight, but one thing that helps is to not skip past blog posts straight to the recipe. Instead, read through the info first to learn the “why” of what you’re doing. I don’t have any YouTube channels I follow, but I’ve heard good things about the Zest cooking app - it’s supposed to be like Duo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/23 12:08 PM
5

It sounds like you’re doing well for yourself so far! I also can get… boisterous sometimes when I’m having fun, haha. One thing you might try is practicing speaking more softly on your own. Just like going to the gym, investing in clothing, and learning other feminine skills, it’s something you can train! I’ve been doing it myself - it feels a little silly to talk to myself, but it’s easy to do when I’m driving somewhere. Practice different topics and emotions. For bonus points, record yourself …
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/23 01:42 PM
9

What a beautiful testimonial! Thank you so much for sharing. I’m really happy for you that you found a path to self-love and self-respect. Putting that kind of energy forth into the world attracts the right kind of attention. It sounds like you’re doing well for yourself - way to go!
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/23 02:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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