rocketlaunchedducks Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	They never loved us This sounds so familiar. I think the thing that kills so many marriages is that one person grows, and the other doesn't. Or perhaps both people grow, but one person grows in a way that matters to THEM and not their partner. What that growth looks like can come in many forms; career, fitness, education, empathy, faith... but it's universally true that you need to grow, and grow together, and grow in the way that matters to your partner... or the only growth that happens is growing apart.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/08/23 03:06 PM
7	They never loved us Actually I'm taking the emotion out of the equation... if you look at an ex with love, or with hate, it's still an emotion. Moving on means putting BOTH aside.	/r/Divorce_Men	13/08/23 02:58 PM
13	They never loved us I don't think it's that the love never existed... I don't buy that. For women or men. There was a time when every marriage was exactly what both people wanted. But needs and wants change. And we all tell ourselves the lie that it never existed to make things easier. The truth is... someone, probably both of you, changed. And the love you had was just a season of life - seasons changed, the relationship changed. And maybe the season would have come back, maybe not, maybe you need to find it with …	/r/Divorce_Men	13/08/23 01:14 PM
8	Men divorced for a long time It comes in waves. One month I'm loving my independence. The next I miss partnership and companionship. Summer (when families vacation at the beach together) and the holidays are the worst. I know each sad period will end... and I also know it will come back. That's just life when you had big dreams and things go sideways. Just gotta find happiness in what you DO have.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/08/23 12:51 AM
1	Noticed a trend, they always leave when it gets hard Just to cherry pick the easiest one... I don't like his philosophy on putting women "in frame". If you flip the script to a woman putting YOU in frame (controlling the conversation, the narrative, how events and ideas are perceived), it would be slammed as manipulative by any man in this forum.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/07/23 07:38 PM
1	Noticed a trend, they always leave when it gets hard I can't get on board with everything he's about... but he's not wrong about that particular topic.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/07/23 11:53 AM
1	My wife is going on a date You are the monkey branch she's swinging away from, just hasn't fully let go yet.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/07/23 02:09 AM
3	Does Everyone Hate Their Ex? Marriages that end in a respectful manner don't. Mine was relatively amicable, I don't hate my ex. The thing a lot of people forget is that there is no justice in marriage and divorce. It may be more one person's fault than the others... but the truth is, we all could have done better. That's just being human. No outside arbiter is going to stand up and say you were right. You can fight for assets or a parenting schedule or friendships... but even if you can score a victory, you haven't won. Ver…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/23 05:21 PM
1	She won’t sign the uncontested agreement You said it yourself... She is in no hurry to get this over with since I moved out and am still covering all of the old bills as well as my own. The status-quo benefits her. Why would she want to proceed? You're covering bills and potentially extending the alimony timeframe (although the child support timeline is ticking away, hard to say what's more significant). Also in terms of dating... a lot of women will not date a separated guy, they want a finalized divorce or they'll filter you out. Not…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/07/23 05:59 PM
2	Do you guys ever feel guilty for the kid’s sake? It's a struggle every day. My life is much better, but my kids is not. It feels selfish. 99% of the reason I still go to therapy.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/06/23 03:47 PM
5	Best child custody arrangements (3 and 5) You have to do what works best for you. Personally I'm very jealous of my friend who has Mon/Tue, ex does Wed/Thur, and they alternate Fri/Sat/Sun. All holidays are on rotation, just a question of which ones were picked for odd/even years. I'm jealous because I picked the weekend-focused rotation and it's hell trying to build a relationship when you rarely have weekends free.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/06/23 01:27 PM
6	Life after Divorce - Who here gets the "side eye"? There's a huge societal stigma that favors and respects single moms as being so strong and independent... while disfavoring single dads as the instigators of divorce, probably cheaters, likely neglecting their kids, leaving mom out to dry. It's a bad Hollywood trope that can't die fast enough. Yes, I've experienced it. It just reminds me who my friends are, whose opinions and time I value, and whose time and opinion should have never meant anything at all to me. And frankly, it's an amazing filt…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/05/23 07:51 PM
3	She's so in love now and wants away from me so much she is now agreeing to 51/49 me, no alimony, no child support Then we don't have to tell you that waiving alimony is a HUGE concession and worth locking in. Not crazy about the situation you may be letting your children slip into but how far can you really fight it? I'm guessing you've pushed about as far as you can. I think the most important thing is... imagine EVERY possible outcome, the worst case scenario for you, with things going her way and not yours. Can you live with that? If so, do it.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/05/23 02:18 PM
12	Feeling dead. Is it too late to be worth it? Sadly this is the best advice in this case. OP will likely not touch that inheritance (inheritance is not split, unless co-mingled - gets complicated but it's likely hers to keep). Meanwhile OP WILL likely split his 401K, and low 6-digits is not enough to split, and still expect to enjoy any quality of life solo. Dude needs to chill with the cheating, I get that it's a dead-bedroom situation but that doesn't justify it. Try to focus on being good friends and accept what the relationship IS rathe…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/23 04:01 PM
1	Feeling dead. Is it too late to be worth it? Inheritance would go to the person who "got the money" UNLESS it was willed to them jointly OR it was invested in a joint asset. For example if the inheritance was used as a down-payment for a house, where both OP and wife are on the title (or put into an account where they're both listed as account owners). A good lawyer can argue and trace it back to origin, but especially if it's co-mingled with other assets (like a down-payment, as you make mortgage payments and further build equity organica…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/23 03:53 PM