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rose-slushie-grief Archive

View 1 post and 28 comments by rose-slushie-grief on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
60

ADVICErose-slushie-grief/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 02:57 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thank you for this honest and thoughtful response. I can feel how much you care and how closely you’ve considered my personal situation and I’m touched. I’m a huge Laura Doyle fan! I thought name-dropping the spouse fulfilling prophecy would tip you off so I’m sorry for not being more clear. I’ve read The Surrendered Wife, The Empowered Wife and First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors – and I’ve taken more than one pass at each book, too. When I look at my situation through the Laura Doyle lens,…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/22 01:30 AM
1

It’s hard to project day care expenses because most places I’ve found will not share prices and have waiting lists that would require me to commit to day care years in advance. From what I can tell based on friends I’ve polled, we’re looking at about $13,000 per year for full time day care or $8,000 per year half time. For comparison, the part time job postings I’ve found (I’ve looked!) would all have me handing over about half of my gross pay for childcare. The only apartments we’ve been able t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 10:33 PM
1

I am.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 08:57 PM
1

Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed and supportive comment. I’ve been working for a year in a highER paying job than what I’ve been doing for my whole life, but it’s certainly not like I have Birkin bucks in the bank. Just a modest and I think age-appropriate cushion. While I’m sure that your advice is very helpful for people who can go back to work with the help of free or cheap childcare from family with the means to do so, that’s not something we have the privilege of relyi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 08:57 PM
2

I agree! He’s unfortunately not willing to look for other work at this time.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 06:30 PM
6

I agree.! This is the problem we’re having. He thinks the situation is fine, that we have time, I’m overreacting, it’ll get better. I’m willing to believe but deeply dissatisfied because I’m not seeing any evidence of change coming.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 06:29 PM
2

He doesn’t!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 06:24 PM
3

This is my problem with the idea that I’ll simply never be in a good position to have children: there is a way where we can have children without relying on debt, and we don’t have the cash flow to make that happen right now. I can’t blame you for not knowing who I am but I do understand how personal finance works. We already play the credit card rewards game. It’s how we paid for our honeymoon. We don’t carry balances. We don’t have debt. We don’t want consumer debt. We know exactly what we hav…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 06:23 PM
3

He’s a production coordinator for a niche manufacturing business. He makes less than half of what other people with his skills and experience would make. He works for a small business that he feels is on the rise and hopes that sticking it out during the growth period will net him either an improved position within the company or the requisite skills to secure a dream job elsewhere. It’s not a stupid plan and he’s not a stupid guy! But it hurts me to see him so woefully underpaid for his hard wo…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 05:30 PM
2

Thanks. As stated in the post, we’ve got our finances in order and lifestyle is not the problem. We have no debt and there is no budgeting around a flatly insufficient income. My husband would do well with more education or another career but is unwilling to explore either!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 04:44 PM
3

He could if he was willing to change careers!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 02:46 PM
5

I appreciate this advice and I’m sure it applies to many people but not to us. I haven’t been eaten a meal that was not cooked from scratch at home from groceries I bought on sale in over a year (and it was rare before then!), my husband and I share ONE 2004 Ford Taurus that was given to us as a gift, and it should not be hard to imagine someone making more than 165% of the federal poverty line also being unable to pay more than their rent in day care fees.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 02:17 PM
5

I appreciate the input. We’ve certainly addressed the issue in plain terms. That’s step one every time it comes up. He sincerely wants to provide and sincerely believes he’s on the right track to doing so. He was raised by a business owner father and homeschooling SAHM and wants to be able to give a similar experience to his kids. If we were ten years younger, the way his parents were when they were in our position, this would make sense. My problem is that he doesn’t realize that it is taking h…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 02:08 PM
3

We don’t qualify, but I’m so glad these options exist for people who do!
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:22 PM
9

My husband left his family’s faith before we met. We’re still in touch with them but they will not give any gifts or help unless my husband returns to their faith, I convert, and we agree to raise our children in their faith. They attended the wedding, love us dearly, but will not give any material goods beyond shared meals at their home unless we convert. I’m adopted from overseas and was mistreated as a child by my legal family. I have extended adoptive family that I’m in touch with but nobody…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:21 PM
5

I’m already into FIRE! :) I definitely don’t think we can live any more frugally or save any more money than we are right now but I also don’t think we could’ve gotten to where we are without those ideas :) That’s what hurts – we’re honestly pretty close to being able to make it work, but we also don’t have much room to go further. We’ve got the savings to make it work for a period of time, but I’m almost guaranteed to get pushed out of my well-paying job if I get pregnant and I’m not confident …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 01:11 PM
4

Thank you for this. We are in that sticky position of earning too much to qualify for any assistance, but not earning enough to get by without it. We are currently doing well on both incomes, but either losing one income or having to pay for childcare out of two incomes would create instant financial insecurity. Thank you for sharing your insight into the relationship/interpersonal aspect of my situation. I want to make it clear that my husband is not a jerk, or stingy or lazy. I generally feel …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 12:34 PM
16

Thank you for this honesty, affirmation of my situation, and tough love. This comment gets down to what it’s all about for me. I look at my situation and feel like every choice puts me in an awful position – never have the children I desperately want, have the children but no means with which I can care for them, take a gamble and lose the husband in search of a more supportive partner. I don’t like any option but disliking them doesn’t open up the playing field for me any further.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 10:32 AM
3

I agree with you. You’ve identified a major point of contention in my marriage – he thinks I’m being unreasonable for factoring this into my decision making, but I think I’m being practical. I haven’t found a way to get him to see the reality of fertility treatment or how much time it takes to work through infertility.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 10:22 AM
3

So, sincere question – should I plan on simply using credit cards to cover our living expenses? If I had woken up today and learned I’m pregnant, that’s the situation we could VERY easily find ourselves in within the next year.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 10:12 AM
2

This is a good point. I’ve honestly discouraged him from starting a side hustle because I already feel like he’s spending too much time away (he puts in 60+ hours a week at his salary job) but it may be time to reconsider.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 10:09 AM
3

This would be great if it was possible but we have nobody. Neither of us has family we can call upon and all of our friends have their kids in day care.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 09:56 AM
12

Thank you. This is my greatest anxiety – I know we can’t really afford to wait. He gets so irrationally mad when I tell him I’m concerned about this, because he is CERTAIN fertility will not pose a problem for us (like the anticipated but never received raise, he has “a feeling”). His mother had an healthy beautiful accident in her 40s, and that experience has him so convinced that fertility decline is a myth. I don’t believe that I’m special enough to be exempt from infertility stats and this i…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 09:54 AM
20

Thank you for taking the time to share your full story so honestly and clearly. I’m sending love to you and your family. You sound like such a powerful mother with so much to give to your family and your community. You touched on a big thing I didn’t mention – we simply don’t have the support to get by with less. I’m estranged from my family, his is on the other side of the country and have declined to share any support with us due to religious differences. I’m not waiting for the best time in t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 04:01 AM
36

Certainly this is true to a certain extent, but some people can afford children less than others. A couple who needs to downsize to one car to make ends meet after baby is in a different position than a couple who has no more room to downsize and can only make ends meet with credit cards.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/22 03:47 AM
5

I knew my now-husband for a year before we started dating, then we moved in together the week we started dating, THEN immediately after moving in I learned that he intended to never get married and we had to spend the next four years going back and forth about why we should or shouldn’t get married. Although I’m very happy in my marriage and I’m sure my husband would report the same, I don’t recommend this strategy. But even the most ridiculous beginnings can become something sweet if you have t…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 11:47 PM
2

Pinterest is helpful from two angles – one, the suggestive algorithm, and two, seeing all of your pins in one place allows you to pick up on patterns and break down the elements of what you like! Each pin is a discovery on its own, but if you have 100 pins in your style board and notice that half of them use the same outfit formula, well…. You’re on your way.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 01:17 AM
1

Hooray! I’ve definitely done the same thing! It’s frivolous to some, but if you have resources to use, using them to reclaim your time is so perfect. Especially if you use the reclaimed time to connect with the people who are meaningful to you.
/r/RedPillWives08/07/22 01:00 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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