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rottingflamingo Archive

View 0 posts and 23 comments by rottingflamingo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

You are not stuck. You felt like you needed to pay penance or otherwise obligate yourself to an unfair agreement. You do not need to continue to accept that agreement. There may be consequences to modifying your order; I recommend writing a list of the pros and cons that you can identify, and ruminating on how you feel on each point. Personally, I would not hold myself to any judgement that my ex might pass on me, andcommunicate to my kids that modification may/will allow a better future for eve…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 01:28 AM
1

Yeah - they won’t straight up say ‘your ex-wife’s filing used your kids as dependent’, and will say something like ‘if you believe this is in error or as a result of fraud or identity theft, file by mail and include an unattached letter with your filing.’ In my case, they ignored the letter, and sent me a notice that they automatically readjusted my filing even when I submitted it by mail. I then had to get onto the state FTB online portal and dispute it according to the instructions on the noti…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:55 PM
6

I just went through this; not aware of a way to check beyond trying to submit online and getting kicked back due to ‘dependents SS# already used’ error. I had to file by mail, then go a couple rounds with my state FTB showing them the legal agreement etc. Relatively painless, but it did take about 3 months.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:50 PM
2

Look man, I know it’s good to feel that you’ve secured some of your shit, but like a lot of these people are saying, everything can be up for grabs if she continues to play really hard. Personally I wouldn’t be giving her any money without a court order, but others might feel that cutting off the ex would prompt another hardball response. It seems like she’s already doing everything she can to screw you though. Another thought: I recommend quashing any desire to flaunt a win or brag about money …
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 05:21 AM
7

Relevant here - in my county at least, once someone makes accusations and gets a restraining order, it’s only in the hands of the DA to make or dismiss a case. They may listen to the accuser, but it’s solely their discretion to prosecute someone or create/maintain a restraining order. Your ex may or may not have realized that, but regardless, she went with the nuclear option so you need to quash it as effectively and quickly as you can, and then do the hard work of segregating and protecting you…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 11:29 PM
2

I had a lawyer to consult with while I navigated private mediation; it let me distill my concerns privately and navigate the process while communicating with them via email to keep the time down. The guy is a right when he says protect some assets and work a plan. I’ve met a number of people who just wanted to get the process over with as quickly as possible, which ended up screwing them. You will likely have to fight, which means repeatedly demonstrating defensible logic as to why you should ge…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 07:07 PM
2

In my experience, I really would not count on a lawyer or court process to provide for your interests. A lawyer can protect you or guide you in a really egregious situation, and it’s important to have one on retainer to consult with, but you’ll want to refine and focus your questions when you do talk to them under contract. One of the hardest things you’ll have to do is think critically and logically about your goals, and fight the urge to make emotionally-driven decisions. When you engage with …
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 02:37 PM
2

Even if you had the cash on hand to pay her out, you'd probably still retitle and refi anyways. But like the other guy said - trying to negotiate a payout over time may be the best bet (essentially a personal loan you're taking from her against the value of the property you're keeping).
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 11:15 PM
2

My friend sent me this on the way to my 2nd mediation. Pump yourself up some and stay strong. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JGBR272672M
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 12:32 AM
2

You don’t strictly need a lawyer, but it’s a very good idea to at least have one on retainer to check your positions and arguments, and review the paperwork before you put your signature on it. My ex demonstrated that everything is still on the table until the last minute, so don’t get comfortable with any one part until the whole deal is complete.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 12:28 AM
2

Wtf is this supposed to mean? Embrace conflict?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 01:31 PM
1

Agree with this. Get the house appraised asap, or as close to the date of separation that you can, so you can ensure equity is split to your satisfaction. Don't let fear of a 'well-heeled' lawyer intimidate you into giving up - on the asset stuff it can be pretty cut and dry. Re: custody - you do you, but it's probably going to take some guts to get a schedule you will be happy with on the long term.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 09:44 PM
1

For me, I put a lawyer on retainer to consult with on an as-needed basis, as mediation proceeded separately. None of it was cheap, but the peace of mind from having a professional sanity check my strategy and arguments was worth it. When I felt my interests were no longer being served by my lawyer, I asked for the remainder of the retainer back and received it. One piece of advice I got was to just communicate with your lawyer via email, as they can read faster than you can talk, and you can tak…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 03:53 PM
7

I think something other responders are missing is that you are saying they are both equally insane. I don't understand why you should feel forced to 'take a side' when neither party acts reasonably. My ex treated many people in my family, including my mother, with irrational spite. I didn't see it as 'taking my family's side' when I didn't join in that constant and vile disparagement. But - my ex certainly viewed it as such. I don't think being married means you have to assume your spouses battl…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 07:44 PM
1

As these other guys are saying - things are more prone to stay the way they currently are. It takes a great degree of effort to change things later. For my situation, establishing a temporary custody arrangement came with an explicit end date (this was done in mediation, not court). I think that prompted development of the final arrangement a bit easier. It sounds like you are considering setting a temporary arrangement before your stbx moves away - that is certainly something you should do, if …
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 05:53 PM
1

Well, I’m as much a pessimistic doomer collapsenik as the next guy, and going through a divorce probably contributed to that, but it also fosters a sense of independence - be it from spouse or arbitrary mandatory employment rules. So I feel you, but also try to stay with how it is, and not to get too sucked into what it might become.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 02:33 AM
1

That's an interesting point (I would not be OK with a performance enhancing drug), but I also don't think it's an equivalent concept. There are existing requirements for vaccines (or other health-protective measures, like pants!) as a prerequisite for participation in public life. Suffice to say I don't think anybody here, lawyer or not, is qualified to say when public interest ends and infringement on private rights begins, at least in regard to workplace discrimination. Unless we've got a supr…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 12:47 AM
1

I agree this is pointless, as you are clearly not familiar with Title VII requirements, and apparently don't recognize logical fallacies either. However, I do agree that the court won't care what I say, and the onus would be on the ex to initiate a request for CS adjustment (with a demonstration that she is somehow unable to make as much money as before, due to reasons out of her control).
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/21 08:21 PM
2

OP says his ex 'will not get vaccinated', indicating that it's her free will. Not 'can not get vaccinated', which would indicate that it's out of her hands. To provide an example: Your surgeon, instead of an unfortunate rollerblading accident, simply decides that he will no longer wear pants in the operating room. His choice, but with the consequence that he will indeed lose his job. Now he can get a job working pantsless from home as a customer service representative for Widgets Inc, but he wil…
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/21 07:59 PM
1

Do you understand the concept of 'voluntary'? Or are you just trolling at this point? This person is freely choosing to leave her job - she's not injured rollerblading or otherwise prevented from working by an outside circumstance.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/21 07:09 PM
2

That only works in one direction if you voluntarily leave your job. As in - if you choose to make more money, then CS may be adjusted, but if you choose to make less, you are obligated at the previous amount.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/21 05:12 PM
3

So: Since it's her fault she lost her job, she is still capable of earning the same amount of money if she chooses to. Voluntarily choosing not to go to work is not a reason to adjust a child support arrangement.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/21 05:10 PM
10

While this wasn't an issue with my divorce, I think I would classify it as a real, if hard issue. If kids are fundamental to the plans you are making for your life, then you do owe it to yourself to pursue that. I wouldn't want infertility to be an excuse for a divorce, or a way to avoid confronting other issues, but I also wouldn't want to sacrifice or compromise such a fundamental dream in a misguided effort fix a doomed relationship. You are the one who knows your desires best, and though I'm…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/20 09:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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