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rpwhelped Archive

View 3 posts and 40 comments by rpwhelped on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I'm not going to tell my husband I want to stop seeing all of our friends though. We would be losing something -- we have shared hobbies with them that we've invested in, they add a different dynamic to the time we normally spent together not doing much, etc. We're both measurably happier since we made these friends.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/16 05:40 PM
2

Yeah, I will try to just keep away. I have been doing that so far and it's almost like she notices and tries to get my attention, I don't know why. We'll see how it goes this weekend. If she starts getting more disrespectful, I'm half-tempted to take her aside and be a total bitch, but I have to remind myself that's not who I am.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/16 05:39 PM
1

No, she didn't text me about that at all. It's hard because most of the people in the group are generally socially awkward nerds. I don't mean it in a mean way, but we just are. None of us really have experience with just kicking someone out of a group. My hope had been that the more she saw how little she is meshing with the group(which other people have commented on, but I've kind of kept my mouth shut), she'd just kind of drift away from it. But it's been the opposite, it seems like the more …
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/16 05:35 PM
1

To be clear, my husband didn't invite her on a vacation... she invited my husband and I by talking to just my husband about it. I made it clear to my husband it was just 100% something I wasn't interested in, which isn't even related only to not liking her. We made a "rule" about not going on vacation with people who are obviously not in solid relationships after we spent a reallyyyyyyy miserable weekend with a couple that barely spoke to each other. Her relationship is hanging by a thread, and …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/16 10:12 PM
5

I honestly don't care that she is trying to spend time with him, he's not responsive to it at all, and I trust him completely. He's basically never with her alone because they don't even work together anymore(they both moved on to other jobs). I guess the problem is I just really don't like being around her. We don't have a lot of free time, and the types of activities we do as a group can end up taking half a weekend or more, and I just hate to spend so much of my free time around someone I dis…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/16 09:00 PM
2

If you snap at her, you will instantly be "that bitch" in most people's minds. Yep, that's what I desperately want to avoid :( I've changed the way I interact with people a lot since I discovered RPW, and part of me is very worried that the next time she comments on my husband's appearance in front of me I'm going to snap at her. So far I've kept my comebacks in my head, but I have a pretty much instantaneous internal snarky reaction when she says something that will eventually bubble to the sur…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/16 08:29 PM
6

He is 100% oblivious to the flirting. He thinks she is a little annoying because she rambles a lot but seems to like her as a person other than that. Everyone in the group, including my husband, notices how shitty she is to her boyfriend and comments on it when she is not around. Other friends in the group have joked that she is looking to "upgrade" to my husband and my husband kind of jokes along with it and feels bad for her boyfriend. At the same time, he likes her enough to try to plan week-…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/16 08:17 PM
2

Yes, she's tried to make plans with him alone but he has only gone once when her boyfriend was also coming along(I was out of town). She's at least a little into him, which I am fine with... my husband is objectively a handsome guy, I've accepted that women will be attracted to him sometimes and he's not going to respond to it. So you think it's better to just not bring it up to my husband at all and trust that he can handle it? Part of me is worried that I will kind of snap at her if she gets p…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/16 08:14 PM
2

Honestly I think for the vast majority of people, if they have the qualities you describe and are actually trying, it would be close to impossible for them to be straight up ugly. Even if you have fucked up bone structure, makeup can do wonders. Worst case, plastic surgery/fillers/other minor cosmetic procedures. But to answer your question, it's always worth investing in bettering yourself. You don't have to have an angel face to find a good partner.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/16 03:42 PM
1

I like Elizabeth and James Nirvana Black. You can get it very cheaply in a rollerball at Sephora if you want to just try it out. I think it's a nice edgy/sexy scent, I don't like sweet scents myself.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/16 01:42 PM
1

Yeah, Olaplex is definitely the way to go. I think the reason I didn't end up having to literally shave my head is because I did a couple of standalone Olaplex treatments after that debacle. The stylist who ruined my hair hadn't heard of Olaplex... should have been a red flag lol
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/16 01:17 PM
6

You've already gotten good answers here, but I just want to add... I have naturally dark brown hair like you, and just a word of caution: don't go pastel unless you are okay with the possibility of destroying your hair and having to go VERY short. A couple of years ago I dyed my hair lavender and my husband absolutely LOVED it, but the bleaching destroyed my hair. I went to a salon, but salons can fuck up. Shiny, healthy hair is always more attractive than dried out, damaged hair. I had to cut m…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 05:14 PM
2

I'm not a morning person at all, and I probably never will be as much as I try. I often fall asleep after my husband, and even though I fix breakfast/his clothes in the morning I will get up a few minutes after him and I'm usually a little grumpy. I'm working on it, but one thing I do is write him notes before I go to bed and leave them on his nightstand. That way the first impression he has of me in the morning isn't my brooding I-hate-everything/why-am-I-not-sleeping face. So a couple of times…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 11:14 PM
2

Same here. My relationship was basically falling apart. Adopting this mindset not only saved my marriage, but made me happier than I could have imagined.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/16 11:10 PM
18

I find that if I initiate even when I'm not feeling like it, it only takes a few minutes to get to where I'm "feeling like it." If you're worried about not having enough sex, then initiate. It's that simple.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/15 05:44 PM
7

You are overthinking. You can only control your actions. Your actions aren't going to change his entire personality. If you were enough for him to change his ways, it would already be happening and he wouldn't just be pressuring you for sex. He doesn't see you as LTR material. I want something more emotional in return so I don't get hurt. Not happening with this one. What would you advise? Next.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/15 05:42 PM
1

That's all really sad but makes sense. I had never heard the term "alpha-widowed." It's hard to understand the mental gymnastics that have to occur to get into this situation in the first place, because I'm 100% with you on this... (the scare quotes are because in my mind a man wanting a harem lowers his value to me to a non-existent level).
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 04:47 PM
3

We didn't have a "traditional" proposal, we had discussed marriage a few times(together about 5 years) and said we should do it soon. I picked out a date I could take off work and asked him to take it off too, and then we did it. Wouldn't change it at all. I would change the attitude I had about rings etc. It was before I discovered RPW and I was still kind of a bitch and I'm sure I made him feel emasculated by picking out out cheap rings and buying them myself.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 04:18 PM
4

Thank you, I needed to know I wasn't alone in thinking this was bizarre lol I know it's compatible from the man's side, I have spent some time browsing MRP/TRP to better understand things from the man's perspective. From the woman's side it totally seems like a recipe for ending up a post-wall divorcee, so I was confused by the casual way in which OP approached it.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 05:35 AM
5

Thank you. When I came to this post and only saw the OP and the one comment(which is still the top comment), I was like "Where even am I right now? Is this TwoX?"
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 05:21 AM
17

I honestly don't understand how being poly or otherwise nonmonogamous could be compatible with RPW beliefs. Can someone enlighten me? Isn't it completely natural for you to feel angrily competitive, given that these women are literally competing with you for your husband and you have no romantic interest in them yourself? Edit: I've honestly been trying to wrap my head around this since I commented. If the goal of RPW is to get a commitment from a good man, isn't giving that man your blessing to…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 04:49 AM
2

This year we agreed not to do gifts since we are doing a vacation together a few days before Christmas, so I plan to buy him a pair of sunglasses I know he wants as a just because gift so he can wear them on vacation. In terms of food, his grandma recently passed away so I will be making some of her recipes for the family for the holidays. I'm hoping it will bring a little joy to everyone's first Christmas without her.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 11:07 PM
6

You do less. You can't have it all. You prioritize what is important, and you do that. You let go of the rest. Spot on. I became so much happier when I realized this.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 05:53 PM
2

Medication and therapy. I'm off medication now and continuing therapy. It's not for everyone, but I was in a really bad place and the medication really turned things around. Keeping a diet & exercise plan really helps too. Maybe try joining a gym or running together since you mentioned therapy is not an option right now. Check out /r/eood. If it's not severe clinical depression sometimes just getting into a routine can help a lot. It will give him something to succeed at on a daily basis(like, a…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/15 11:12 PM
1

Do you think he could be depressed? Honestly I've been a lot like your husband in terms of not being able to follow through with things when I was extremely depressed. I would start a lot of projects and hobbies because I was trying to find something that would make me happy, but nothing did. I was like that for so long I have to actively fight being that way even now that I am not depressed. Maybe you should try talking to him about how he feels about things. Maybe he has been framing it in ter…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/15 06:57 PM
3

I'm not sure more space is the answer after 10 years. But nagging isn't either. You're kind of stuck, like others have said you can keep sticking it out or leave. If it were me, after 10 years I would be gone. To be clear, I almost never advocate giving up on a marriage. Check out my post history... giving my husband space was a huge part of what turned things around for me. I believe marriage is hard work and sticking it out is the answer 99% of the time. But just based on what you're saying, i…
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/15 04:13 PM
21

I would love to hear an alternate opinion from someone more experienced, but my gut reaction upon reading your situation was that not every man is a worthy captain. He has been doing the same thing for 10 years while you, by your account, have been supportive, loving, and giving him plenty of room to lead and change your situation. Do you see any realistic indication that he could make a change and make your shared future brighter? There is only so much you can do when it comes to your behavior …
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/15 01:36 AM
3

I'm glad you mentioned that, I actually completely stopped drinking. I noticed I was being mean and saying embarrassing things when drunk, not just the sarcasm. I'll have one drink once in a while now, but I've cut back by like 95%. Definitely not attractive to get sloppy drunk and be rude, I would feel terrible the next morning.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 02:13 PM
2

Don't apologize, I really appreciate the insight! I think part of my issue is that I kind of don't know what to say outside of the sarcasm. I spent a lot of time not having friends so I am a little clueless when it comes to conversation. I will ask people about their lives or compliment something, but other than that I feel kind of stuck, you know?
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 02:12 PM
1

This might not be what you're looking for, but check out Madewell lookbooks from past seasons(upcoming season isn't the same) for some tomboy-inspired feminine looks. Madewell helped me ease in to dressing more femininely, and eventually to wearing dresses/skirts in a casual setting. You can also upgrade your t-shirts/sweat-shirts to flattering blouses and keep wearing your jeans, just make sure you wear well-fitted jeans. I do think you'd be able to find useful advice on /r/femalefashionadvice,…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 02:09 PM
4

Thanks, I'm glad I'm not the only one with the foot-in-mouth problem. I definitely felt more appalled at myself than at my friend. I need to work on not beating myself up over this type of stuff, but it's like I feel embarrassed for my attitude for the last 15 years all at once and want it to change, like, yesterday. I guess I just have to give it time.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 01:13 AM
1

It does, but it would be a lottle more filling with real peanut butter but it's too much fat for me. You can also add some psyllium husk for fiber which helps fill you up, I was doing that but I ran out and have been lazy about restocking.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/15 02:41 AM
1

I add vegetables into stuff I want to eat but probably shouldn't. For example over the weekend my husband wanted mac & cheese, so I made that for him and instead of having a cup of it myself I had about 1/3 cup and rounded out the rest of the serving with steamed spinach(I added some seasoning to make it yummier). I eat things like spaghetti, rice and beans, etc. just with a ton of spinach or broccoli in it. I also often have a smoothie for breakfast that's loaded with kale or spinach -- 2 cups …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/15 04:48 PM
1

Thanks, it's interesting to see it from a man's perspective since I haven't openly discussed it with my husband and don't plan to.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/15 10:10 PM
1

I could not reconcile those two things. Looking back, the way I have felt about relationships in my heart and how I was expected to act as a feminist were incompatible and made me very unhappy. I am someone who naturally likes to do things for others and likes to feel needed and appreciated for the things I do. The attitude I had tried to adopt with feminism is that being an independent woman was enough and I should be valued for that, but it never really made sense to me on an emotional level. …
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/15 10:08 PM
1

Sorry for the late response, hadn't been back on this account. To be frank, all attraction was gone and I had an involuntary visceral response when he awkwardly approached me for sex. Nothing to do with feminism directly, but more with the negative patterns we had fallen into and my inability to express how I felt without lashing out.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/15 10:03 PM
7

Well, I definitely don't mean equal in that we're the same... my experience is proof that trying to be like a man will bite you in the ass. I do still feel passionate about equality for people in bad situations in third world countries that people like me in the first world will never experience. There's still inequality out there in the world, just not in the way modern feminism has us believe. But that's not too important to the overall point :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/15 06:06 PM
6

Thank you! I will definitely remember that. There are hard days still, but now I'm more motivated than ever to make our marriage work.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/15 05:56 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/15 05:49 PM
4

I'm glad it gives you hope! I saw your post, keep your head up... I bet if you hang around here you will find some ways you can start taking steps in the right direction. Remember you can only control what you do... so you have to make changes first if you want things to change. But it's worth it :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/15 05:49 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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