~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 7 | Are men the most disposable sex ?Every "Men are more X" stereotype can be flipped into "Women are less X" and vice versa, because they're the two halves of the population. Combine that with the concept of benevolent sexism, and it's possible to rhetorically flip any stereotype that hurts men into actually being about women. I think "women are weak" and "men are disposable" were both valid explanations in the days where women couldn't serve in militaries at all, and men could be conscripted. And I think to some degree it was bot… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/07/26 12:39 PM |
| 2 | What do you think about this quote from Bell Hooks?I think very few of the people recommending the will to change have actually read it, and this quote is one of the prime examples of that. The core thesis is that boys have their emotions beaten out of them, and they're only allowed to feel emotions under very controlled circumstances, as a reward for successfully performing masculinity. This is used to coerce them into doing things like violence, that they would never do if they were emotionally healthy. A child who is not embraced by the villa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 02:56 PM |
| 14 | Bill to create Office of Men's Health advances to SenateThe audacity to shout out employers at all, and to emphasize men as taxpayers before community builders. Who needs enemies when the people who claim to advocate for you talk about you like this? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/07/26 12:58 PM |
| 4 | Opinion | Football Won't Turn Boys Into MenParkour competitions follow the individual team sport model, in that we practice together but compete as individuals. I find that it does a good job of promoting friendly rivalries and healthy competition, since you have to come back together after the awards are handed out. Team sports like football can produce some very heated rivalries since separate teams don't have to make peace afterward in the same way. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/07/26 05:48 PM |
| 7 | Feeling bad and ashamed of being a manIt really depends on how they slice the data. I know women are overrepresented in low speed accidents like in parking lots, and men are overrepresented in high speed accidents that kill people and total cars. And when women buy cars, they're more likely to prioritize safety features. But in the same vehicle, at the same speed, I would expect women to be more injured. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/07/26 02:39 PM |
| 7 | Feeling bad and ashamed of being a manThe trick is to manipulate the definition of misandry. Every gender role can be stated in terms of either gender. Men are more X = women are less X, and vice versa. So "Men are disposable" can be restated as "Women are too precious to risk" and labeled as benevolent sexism. The only instance of misandry that's actually allowed to be called misandry is women saying hateful things about men on the internet, falsely giving the impression that it's not serious. I recently learned than men are about … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/07/26 02:06 PM |
| 6 | Feeling bad and ashamed of being a manEvery gender norm can be stated in terms of either gender, so they've taken all of the instances of hostile sexism that get men killed, and restated them as benevolent sexism that protects women instead. It's not that men are disposable, it's that women are too weak to risk. Benevolent sexism is such an obvious epicycle that the coining of the term should have triggered a wave of "Wait, what are we doing here?" But they're in too deep. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/07/26 01:58 PM |
| 11 | Opinion | Football Won't Turn Boys Into MenIt's undeniable that there are valuable lessons to take from sports, with different individuals needing different lessons from different sports. I started parkour lessons in my 30s, and I think if I had started them in my teens, it would have taught me a lot of lessons that I had to learn on my own. The certified parkour instruction path focuses very heavily on breaking complex and dangerous moves down into simpler and safer pieces, and proactively practicing failure so you learn to bail safely … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/07/26 01:14 PM |
| 19 | Opinion | Football Won't Turn Boys Into MenPrecarious masculinity. Our identity is systemically withheld from us to coerce us into doing dangerous things for the benefit of others, for a scrap of approval. You're not a "real man" unless you're willing to either go down in the mines and die of black lung to make the mine owner rich, or get shot at in a desert for cheap foreign oil. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/07/26 12:53 PM |
| 5 | Remember Men, the Republican Party is not our friendWould you mind elaborating on this? My conception of how people perceive status is pretty heavily tied to wealth, which I usually hear associated with materialism, so I'm having trouble putting them on opposite ends of a spectrum. By statusism, do you mean a "Keeping up with the Joneses" performance of wealth, as opposed to actually having wealth and being secure enough in it to not need to perform? If I'm understanding correctly, I agree that America is on firmly on the side of burying yourself… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/07/26 01:48 AM |
| 10 | Advice on futureI've been following these issues and discussions for about 15 years now, and change is slow, but it is happening. 15 years ago, the idea that men have problems at all was controversial, now everyone is aware of at least a few, and "Patriarchy hurts men too" is a standard refrain in feminist spaces. I've seen a few countries seriously considering advisors or departments for men and boys, as a counterpart to the ones they already have for women and girls. Movember has proven that there is a nonzer… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/07/26 07:36 PM |
| 11 | I think Leftists might be responsible for the rise of ManosphereIt sounds like you do get what this subreddit is about. We believe in the stated values of the left, like equality for all. But we're outcasts from the left because we actually apply them to all, instead of excluding men. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/07/26 11:41 PM |
| 9 | I think Leftists might be responsible for the rise of ManosphereThis may be a very American take, but it reminds me of the news coverage around shootings. When the shooter is a racialized person, the news coverage always places it in the context of other shootings, trying to illustrate a pattern of racial violence. When the shooter is white, they're always a lone wolf. It starts looking pretty silly when 3/4 are lone wolves and only 1/4 are part of the pattern. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/07/26 06:06 PM |
| 9 | I think Leftists might be responsible for the rise of ManosphereThe problem with the hierarchy isn't that they got the order wrong, the problem with the hierarchy is treating people differently for arbitrary reasons. However, deconstructing the bad mental models you were raised with is difficult and not very satisfying. Inverting the hierarchy and taking revenge on the people who used to be at the top is easy and emotionally satisfying. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/07/26 05:56 PM |
| 24 | Tough 'love' and early male socialization.This is my experience too. When we want support, too bad, tough love. When others want support from us, the sky's the limit. My mother became an alcoholic when I was in elementary school, and my parents got divorced because of it. My dad tried to force her into a rehab, and they shut it down. Then they told me it was my responsibility to fix her. I don't know what they expected an 8 year old to do. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/07/26 08:12 PM |
| 3 | [2022] A UK-based study has failed to replicate a 2004 study reinforcing the gendered stereotype threat hypothesis in mathematicsThe original was in 2004, this replication was in 2022, that's an 18 year gap. There's been a lot of "girls are good at math" material published in that span. Also, the students taking the test were younger than 18, so they've never lived in a world without all of that "girls are good at math" material. Plus the girls scored higher than the boys, and I'm sure they would have seen that in their GPAs before taking this test. I don't see any reason the girls involved in this study should have belie… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/07/26 03:42 PM |
| -1 | Toxic Masculinity, Healthy Masculinity, Positive Masculinity, Toxic Femininity what are they?I think patriarchy is actually a great name for the subset of gender roles that revolve around sex and reproduction. Prior to genetic testing, you could never be 100% certain of the father of a child, except by ensuring that the mother only had sex with one man. So having involved fathers meant controlling women's lives very tightly. However, what does "men shouldn't show emotion" have to do with fatherhood? It doesn't. That one is meant to condition men to be good worker drones and soldiers, ju… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/07/26 01:39 PM |
| 1 | Toxic Masculinity, Healthy Masculinity, Positive Masculinity, Toxic Femininity what are they?I think both toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny are useful concepts, but the asymmetry kind of ruins them. I believe that enforced gender roles arose as a way to pressure people into doing things that are obviously a bad deal for them, for the good of the community, as perceived by the leaders of that community. Our community would be more prosperous (meaning they would pay me more taxes) if we had more hands to work the fields. Therefore, women need to pump out more babies. It would al… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/07/26 01:20 PM |
| 18 | How to discuss with feminists?I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman who identifies as feminist, and this sounds similar to how we talk about gender issues we've experienced. We haven't explicitly negotiated rules, but if asked I think we would both produce lists something like: Your partner is not lying about their experiences or the emotional impact they had The person hearing the story has less information than the person who was actually there Your partner's emotional well-being is more important than "winning" or … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/07/26 04:00 PM |
| 6 | Liberals Offer Nothing To Men... Redpill Filled The VacuumThere's plenty of effort to rein in the parts that are inconvenient for women. But there's no effort to rein in the parts that are convenient for them, and no recognition that one is the price of the other. It feels very "No take, only throw." The discourse around men and emotions is a great example of this. They want emotionally healthy men. Emotionally healthy men are secure enough to set standards, like "Say what you mean" and "Bring something to the relationship other than just gracing me wi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/07/26 02:44 PM |
| 12 | The most significant aspect of "male socialisation" is coldness from strangers beginning at a very young ageThere is a proverb that goes something like "The child that is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth", and I think that is very nearly the most compact and efficient expression of men's issues possible in the English language. Boys are given a taste of warmth as children, then it is taken away when they hit puberty. After that, the only places they are allowed to feel that warmth again are in the camaraderie of competitive sports and the military, or in romantic relati… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/07/26 06:59 PM |
| 10 | I think a lot of people on this sub needs to learn to separate the feminist theory, from the people who talk about it. Otherwise we risk to fall back into sexism.First off, I believe very strongly in the maxim The Purpose Of a System Is What It Does. What the system claims to do is how it wants to be perceived, what it actually does it how it actually is. The Democratic People's Republic of Korea has 3 words in the title claiming to represent the people, but as we all know, North Korea actually oppresses its people. When the actions of a system do not align with its claims, people outside the system are only obligated to deal with its actions, because th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/07/26 08:57 PM |
| 2 | Is red pill manosphere stuff or feminism more of a threat to male advocacy?Courts have to make very narrow decisions, and in that context their decision makes sense. The child's interests are better served by receiving aid from the father than by not receiving any aid at all. However, there are other options. The legislative branch and the voters that vote for them have a moral responsibility to provide the courts better options to choose from. If the court's options were for the child to receive aid from a rape victim, or for the child to receive aid from taxpayers as… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/07/26 02:37 PM |
| 2 | How do you deal with misandry while learning about feminismFirst, secure your own mask before you help others. You're not morally obligated to hurt yourself in the process of helping others. Feel free to take breaks as needed for the sake of your mental health. Second, it helps me to humanize them. They are flawed human beings with one set of lived experiences. Everything else they know, or think they know, comes from speaking with, or reading books written by, other people. Both of those are lossy information transfer protocols, and filtered through bi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/06/26 02:24 PM |
| 18 | How do you deal with misandry while learning about feminismIt's the two-step that does it for me. It's okay to advocate for one sex, and allow movements for the other sex to exist. It's okay to claim to be for both sexes, and actually advocate for both sexes. It's not okay to claim to be for both sexes, advocate for only one, actively shut down movements that advocate for the other, then blame them for not creating resources for themselves. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/06/26 01:34 PM |
| 10 | Why is misandry being normalised on social media under the disguise of "it's just a reaction to misogyny"?It's easier to invert beliefs than to deconstruct them and construct something healthier. The core proposition of conservatism is there must be an in-group that is protected by the rules but not bound by them, and an out-group that is bound by the rules but not protected by them. The easiest way to reject conservatism is to swap the in and out groups. People are lazy, so most of the left is just conservatives on opposite day. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/06/26 02:48 PM |
| 37 | “Just be happy single” is easy advice when singledom is optional.One of my personal rules is that any advice containing the word "just" can be safely ignored. "Just" dismissively implies simplicity, and these are some of the hardest and most complex problems people will ever deal with. That said, I do think it is close to being actually useful advice, so I'll try to bridge that gap and make it actually useful. Do not wait for a partner to begin living the life you want to live. Start doing the things you want to do with a partner, without a partner. Or at lea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 03:25 PM |
| 35 | "I hate men!" (...but not that man)I left exactly this comment on the patreon post. "One of the good ones" is just a rhetorical trick to escape the cognitive dissonance of your experiences contradicting your prejudices. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/06/26 07:33 PM |
| 1 | Does Toxic Masculinity/Femininity Truly Exist?Gender roles can certainly influence people to behave in ways that are harmful to both themselves and to the people around them. So in that sense I think the concepts are useful, but I think they're also overly broad, and social media can strip the nuance out of anything. So I think it would be more useful to zoom in and describe more specific sets of harmful gender roles. For example, eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia are very common in women, and are examples of adhering to female gen… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/06/26 06:00 PM |
| 21 | UN Commission of Inquiry explicitly confirms gender-based targeting of boys by the IDF in the West Bank and GazaThe reason why femicide is a relatively common word and androcide is not, is not because androcide is less common. It's because it's so common and normalized that it has a simpler name: war. It's been established for thousands of years that if you want to subjugate a population, you kill the men until either they stop resisting or there is nobody left to resist. All kinds of other crimes happen during war as well, but the core goal is the selective killing of men. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/06/26 05:29 PM |
| 5 | How do I(19M) get comfortable with girlfriend (21F) being of the view 'I hate men' while being a man?First off, saying that you hate a demographic that your partner belongs to, to their face, is unreasonable. Second, my partner used to do the same thing all the time, and I convinced her to stop, so there is hope. When she would say it around me, it was usually in reaction to a man doing something awful in a true crime story, or a reddit am I the asshole story, or friends or family talking about relationship stuff. And she would look over at me and say "Sorry, not you" before she even caught my … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/06/26 12:44 PM |
| 2 | Men aren't actually 'allowed' to be angryI think this is what's really going on. People judge men negatively for all of the "negative" emotions (sadness, fear, anger, etc). With the others, they'll make that judgement known to his face, with anger they're too intimidated to do that. So anger feels like it gets a better response in the moment, because people don't push back, but it still has the same negative long-term consequences. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/06/26 11:33 AM |
| 8 | The r/comics subreddit is moderated by radical feminists who claim that misandry only exists in theory, as does racism towards white people. It got me banned.The argument I always see is that oppression is systems harming people AND taking away their ability to change the system so that it stops hurting them. But when has the average man ever had more power than the average woman to change the systems that were hurting him? For most of western history, power over the systems rested with hereditary nobility, then it trickled down to landowning men being able to vote for a while. Most countries had a pretty short window where non-landowning men were ab… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/06/26 01:04 PM |
| 10 | Thoughts on this? Men aren’t needed anymore, and they’re struggling to adapt to being wanted by Olivia BarbulescuI think the author is observing a real phenomenon, but the framing is uncharitable to men. She's absolutely right that in the past, the standards for a man to be considered relationship-worthy were significantly lower. If he had a steady income, wasn't violent, and wasn't an alcoholic, he was a pretty good catch. Feminism has made women significantly more independent than they used to be, meaning the bar that men have to clear is significantly higher than it used to be, and men are still in the … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/06/26 03:40 PM |
| 2 | Dating App Abuse in AustraliaI thought that dick pics would be included, but the Methods section of the study actually only includes using images of the respondent. I don't think they asked about dick pics, I think they only asked about variations of leaking nudes. Online: Threatened to share a sexually explicit image or video of the respondent without their consent Took photos or videotaped the respondent engaging in sexual acts without their knowledge or consent Took a non-consensual photo or video of the respondent which… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/06/26 12:26 PM |
| 24 | Autistic man mistreated, and a "feminist" group mocked it and muted me for respectful disagreement.All punching up rhetoric is like this. The people who have the power to cause problems for you, have the power to cause problems for you. So if you punch at them, they're going to use their power to cause more problems for you. If you're punching because you don't want problems, then you don't want your punches to cause more problems for you. So they always end up identifying a demographic who causes a problem, then punching down at the lowest part of that demographic. They don't punch white mal… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/05/26 02:04 PM |
| 13 | Autistic men are not "coddled"This is a huge distinction. It's not that autistic people of both sexes are wearing the same mask, but autistic women are doing it more successfully. They're wearing different masks. Autistic men are masking as neurotypical men, and autistic women are masking as neurotypical women. When they feel like imposters, a lot of people try to avoid attention as much as possible. That's entirely compatible with traditional female gender roles that say to be quiet and not take up space, and entirely incom… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/26 09:38 PM |
| 1 | “Be yourself” is the best adviceI understand what it's getting at, but "just be yourself" is almost all room for confusion. Authenticity is a requirement for true connection. If you lure people in with a facade, then when the facade drops, the connection will break. Either you have to keep up the performance forever, or you're just delaying the inevitable. If you can get people in the door, but you struggle to connect with them because everything feels surface level or hollow, you need to drop the mask and be yourself so that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/26 02:16 PM |
| 14 | Did we just witness an “end-of-the-beginning” moment?It's a shortened version of "If the insult doesn't apply to you, then let it fly." I also often see the sentiment expressed as "A hit dog hollers." It basically boils down to "I'm allowed to spew hateful generalizations about men all I want, and if you object, it must be because one of them applied to you." It's always coming from people who view politics as a team sport, and there's no room in their minds for the concept that some people have principles. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/05/26 12:57 PM |
| 3 | I need help with my upcoming assignment.As others have pointed out, they outnumber you, and the audience is likely going to be biased in their favor, so you're at a disadvantage. If possible, I would recommend narrowing the scope. "Is feminism net positive or net negative for men?" is a gigantic surface area, and they can collectively cover more surface area than you can. If you can narrow your position to something like "Prominent feminists leaders have used institutional positions of power to systemically harm men" you're going to h… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/04/26 01:51 AM |
| 1 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?I'm guessing DFSA = drug-fueled sexual assault. The messages CNN showed from the Telegram group were about buying and selling drugs, and advice on dosing so that people didn't realize they had been drugged. My understanding is that most of the content on Motherless is mostly amateur stuff that's too niche to be worthwhile for professional productions. So most of the 62 million is just people who are horny and a little weird. Specifically for the sleep content, the numbers CNN gave us were ~20,00… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/04/26 05:10 PM |
| 2 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?I wonder if it would be feasible/useful to require an endorsement at the end, similar to political ads. Everyone in the video takes a few seconds at the end to say "I was in this video and I consented to all of the actions." The sites could trim it out before presenting to their users, but they could produce proof of consent in case of investigations like this. For amateurs who are role playing, that's pretty easy to produce. The rapists could likely deep fake it, but maybe the models could inje… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/26 02:30 PM |
| 30 | Some people seem really angry that "62 million men are in a rape academy" is incorrect.As I said in the other thread, the correct reaction should have been "There's a group of 1000 organized rapists? That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever heard." However, because the misinformation anchored the number so high, people are relieved that it's "only" 1000. That relief is valid, because those are wildly different realities. However, relief never should have been part of the emotional journey of this news story. The closest should have been a "Hell yeah, keep going" when the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/26 02:06 PM |
| 3 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?Very true. Most likely, a lot of the people are also in other groups as well, so investigating this group could potentially uncover a whole web. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/26 03:23 PM |
| 5 | No, An Online "Rape Academy" Did Not Receive 62 Million Views, Let Alone 62 Million MembersPeople are getting these numbers from Google analytics, so it's whatever Google counts as a page view. URL change plus repainting a certain percent of the DOM? Single page apps throw things off. The upshot is that Google is widespread enough that you can use it to compare traffic across sites, because they'll all inherit the same measurement biases from Google. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/04/26 01:19 PM |
| 6 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?It's already slowing down. The newest trend over there is people saying that the share button is a paper airplane, and you can hold it to aim and shoot it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/04/26 12:56 PM |
| 3 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?I'm not trying to put you on blast because you're right, but your comment perfectly demonstrates why the misinformation is so harmful. The correct reaction to finding out that there is a group of 1000 rapists collaborating to be better at rape is "That's the most horrifying thing I've ever heard," followed by torches and pitchforks demanding that politicians subpoena the logs and prosecute as many of the users as they can track down. However, because they anchored the number at 62 million, peopl… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/04/26 12:50 PM |
| 8 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?We don't know for sure. The Telegram group was likely the most frequent uploaders, but presumably there were people in the group smart enough to not upload video proof of what they were doing, and others outside of the group uploading content. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/26 07:43 PM |
| 3 | CNN Telegram rape/motherless (website) sleep category investigationIt really is. I try not to assume malice by default, but that's a pretty key piece of information to leave out, and it's hard to think of reasons to do so. Maybe they only got that number from police after the fact? My next most charitable interpretation was that the reporters thought that implying it was bigger than it actually was would get more engagement, and didn't realize that they'd overshot into scaring women into never leaving their homes again. The least charitable interpretation is th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/26 02:16 PM |
| 171 | Can someone explain the 62 million men attending an online rape academy?Someone already linked to the other discussion, but an overview: There is a site called Motherless that hosts porn, videos of people being murdered, pirated movies, millions of videos of immoral stuff. The site as a whole got 62 million page visits in February of this year. There's a category of porn on the site called sleep, which is about 20,000 videos of men raping unconscious women. CNN did an investigation of this category. They found a Telegram chat group with about 1000 members where user… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/26 12:59 PM |
| 6 | CNN Telegram rape/motherless (website) sleep category investigationIt comes from a follow up article. CNN identified one of the men, alerted Polish police, and they just arrested him. Piotr was one of nearly 1,000 users they found in a private Telegram group dedicated to sharing advice on the drugging and rape of partners. https://www.cnn.com/2026/04/09/europe/polish-arrest-cnn-online-rape-investigation-intl | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/26 11:44 AM |
| 40 | Does anyone else (particularly Millennial men) feel men were told for a long time to critically examine their looks standards for women, only for this messaging to suddenly and silently disappear when it was discovered circa 2012 that women are no less looks-focused than men?I think what happened is "Then let me be evil." In the past, there were a lot of men who had the same complaints, but didn't voice them because they didn't want to face the backlash you're referring to. But social media kept doubling down on the idea of men being inherently evil, and those guys started getting the backlash anyway. If you're punished no matter what you do, then you don't have any incentive to avoid punishment anymore. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/26 01:35 AM |
| 13 | CNN Telegram rape/motherless (website) sleep category investigationThe numbers are important because they dictate the scale of the solution. The 1000 men in the Telegram group can be tracked down and prosecuted for their crimes. The Nuremburg military tribunals found approximately 1400 men guilty. It's a big logistical undertaking, but as a species we've done it before, and we can do it again. If prosecutors fail to follow up on it, we can punish them politically. Justice is possible. If it were 62 million men like people keep claiming, there's no possibility o… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/26 03:28 PM |
| 37 | The Men Are Not AlrightI have to admit that I have a particular dislike for the disadvantage versus discrimination point toward the end of the article (the initial objection, not the author's response to it.) The whole conversation reeks of isolated demands for rigor, but that particular topic is the worst of it. I agree that it's worth making a distinction between explicit legal barriers and implicit social attitudes, because the solutions are different. Legal barriers can be solved with a pen, social attitudes canno… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/04/26 06:26 PM |
| 20 | I sometimes feel like The Bourgeoisie created and perpetuates modern "Patriarchy Theory" as a tool of divide and rule.You're not wrong. I've noticed that if someone can only credibly claim to be oppressed on one axis, then they will torture that one axis to explain every single failure in their life. A rich white woman will make everything about sexism. A rich gay man will make everything about homophobia. A poor white man will make everything about economic class. (I do genuinely believe that economic class is the biggest problem, but I'm also a cishet white man, so me believing that is entirely consistent wit… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/04/26 01:22 PM |
| 5 | At what point should we start questioning evolutionary psychology perspective on the left wing male experience?In my mind, evo psych is effectively scientific stereotyping. It's not enough to just observe that people behave differently and categorize that, there also needs to be a biological explanation for why. I know there's a lot more to it that, but it has the same user interface as stereotyping. Stereotyping can be done well if it's used to anticipate problems that people are likely to experience, and help them with those problems. Like if a company is opening a branch in a majority-muslim country, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/26 02:14 PM |
| 3 | feminism is a knowledge project built by womenI think the big piece OP is missing is that all women were oppressed in the same way, paired to a man and forced to birth his children. Regardless of social class or country, that's true for most women throughout history. Men were oppressed in a wide variety of different ways, based on where they lived and social class. The reason that distinction matters is because feminism was started by wealthy white women who were tired of spending half of their lives pregnant and raising children. They used… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/04/26 03:58 PM |
| 24 | Men’s rights activism faces obstacles at three levelsThis is true, but I think we're making progress on all 3. On the individual level, men are starting to realize that they have experienced bad shit, and that they deserve help in dealing with that bad shit, instead of being forced to deal with it on their own. Very few are actually getting the help that they deserve, but they're starting to demand attention. On the social level, people are starting to recognize that men experience bad shit too. Nowadays feminists say "patriarchy hurts men too" to… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/04/26 01:14 AM |
| 5 | I feel like an important thing is missed when we discuss sexual assault done on men.I've heard this referred to as epistemic injustice, or hermeneutical injustice. The idea is that people are denied the language to understand or communicate the injustice that they have experienced, and become victim to a second form of injustice when they are unable to seek help. Once I first encountered this concept, I couldn't help but see it all over men's issues. For example, the trope of "my crazy ex". Sometimes it means "I couldn't understand her emotional needs". Sometimes it means domes… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 31/03/26 11:47 AM |
| 21 | I am glad I found this sub after having to argue against misandrist terms like “all men are rapists” and “men are trash” and saw my comments getting downvoted. All I want is equalityWhen you ask for examples of toxic femininity, do you mean things that should be considered toxic femininity, or things that actually are considered toxic femininity? If you mean things that actually are considered toxic femininity, I can't give examples, because the term isn't popular. The closest popular term is internalized misogyny. If you mean things that should be considered toxic femininity but aren't, I propose: Passive aggression, as opposed to toxic men's more active aggression Cry-bul… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/26 01:02 AM |
| 8 | Countries with stronger precarious manhood beliefs (being a “real man” is something that requires constant demonstration through behavior and achievement) tend to have lower national happiness, but also lower GDP, lower life expectancy, lower social support, and heightened perceptions of corruption.I like the term "precarious manhood" much better than "fragile masculinity." And this all makes sense. Precarious manhood is one of the mechanisms by which men are exploited, your identity cannot be validated until you have performed to the satisfaction of everyone around you. Stronger precarious manhood beliefs means a greater level of socially acceptable exploitation, and exploitation generally leads to more corruption and worse outcomes across the board. So this is effectively saying that the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/03/26 02:41 PM |
| 11 | Feminists Can’t Seem To Define FeminismI would draw a comparison to copyright, since that's also about who owns an idea. You don't actually have to file any paperwork to claim a copyright, you can just slap a copyright symbol on things you produce. Trademarks are the ones that have the whole registration system. However, you also have to enforce the copyright yourself. They aren't registered with the government, so the government can't enforce them for you. If you see someone violating your copyright, you have to ask them to stop, an… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/03/26 01:59 PM |
| 21 | Does the left not understand they're inadvertently validating what the manosphere has been saying about them when they make insults regarding men's bodies?I think the distinction is less about the volume of criticism and more about the flavor of it. The criticism from the right is individual. Get a lucrative job, get married, buy a house, have kids, and don't talk about your feelings. If you do all of those things, the criticism turns to praise. It is possible to make the bad feelings stop entirely through your own individual actions. The criticism from the left is collectivist. As long as there exists one bad man who wants to abuse women, the cri… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/26 11:26 AM |
| 21 | warren farell "men's rights activist" VS paul elam "men's rights advocate - what is the goal of the mra movement?I don't really make a distinction between the two terms. If I have to claim a label, I claim left wing male advocate specifically to guide people to this subreddit, because I think it's the best of all of the men's subreddits. My personal ideal for good activism is TheTinMen. He doesn't hate women, he doesn't hate feminism, but he doesn't kowtow to them either. He calmly makes very measured claims, backed by a ton of data, where men are very clearly suffering. He only takes shots at feminism whe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/03/26 09:02 PM |
| 2 | These types of men hijack the men's rights movement and gives us a bad reputationI share the above opinion because I see ExternalGreen active in most threads on this sub, consistently with reasonable takes. I don't see your username often enough to build up that same sort of trust or opinion. Looking at your profile, it sounds like you've been on a sort of social media detox, which is entirely reasonable but not conducive to building up trust in your name brand. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/03/26 02:56 PM |
| 1 | TIL why autistic men have it so much harder indeed, while reading "The assertive woman" by Bloom/Coburn/Pearlman from 1975. Non-assertive men are interpreted in a very malicious way, further encouraging aggressive and dominant behaviours while activly punishing sensible characters.One could certainly make that argument, but I would prefer to call it a gendered oligarchy, or kyriarchy. Patriarchy was originally coined to mean men oppressing women, by the time it gets diluted down to "poor people of all genders are oppressed by rich people of all genders", I would argue that the name is no longer appropriate. At some point you have to stop adding epicycles to the old theory and come up with a new one. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/03/26 02:17 PM |
| 16 | Thoughts on Bell Hooks?I think she falls victim to something similar to the Seinfeld Effect, where Seinfeld feels cliche today because the ideas have been stolen so many times. Nowadays "patriarchy hurts men too" is just a way that feminists pay lip service to men's issues without actually doing anything about them. But that's because she popularized it, in her day it was genuinely a new idea. To be clear, I'm damning her and all of feminism with faint praise, because it shouldn't have been a new idea. We like to make… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/03/26 02:08 PM |
| 32 | Thoughts on Bell Hooks?I own The Will to Change and have read it a couple times, haven't read any of her other work. My reaction to it was pretty similar to my reaction to The Art of War. People talk about The Art of War like it's the most brilliant tactical manual ever written, and when you actually read it, 90% of it is "Soldiers are humans, and humans die if they don't eat food. If your soldiers die, you lose the war. Therefore, if you don't feed your soldiers, you will lose the war." Incredibly basic, obvious stuf… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/26 11:20 PM |
| 1 | TIL why autistic men have it so much harder indeed, while reading "The assertive woman" by Bloom/Coburn/Pearlman from 1975. Non-assertive men are interpreted in a very malicious way, further encouraging aggressive and dominant behaviours while activly punishing sensible characters.I fully agree that "praised" and "celebrated" are very different from "rewarded" or "net positive". In fact, they're usually lip service to try to sweeten an obviously bad deal. As I see it, gender roles lay out three acceptable paths to success: Be exploited into earning a lot of resources for the wealthy Be exploited into defending the resources of the wealthy using violence Produce more people for the wealthy to exploit Women are the limiting factor on the reproductive path, and men significa… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/26 04:48 PM |
| 5 | TIL why autistic men have it so much harder indeed, while reading "The assertive woman" by Bloom/Coburn/Pearlman from 1975. Non-assertive men are interpreted in a very malicious way, further encouraging aggressive and dominant behaviours while activly punishing sensible characters.On a related note, I frequently see people claim that autistic women are under-diagnosed because women are better at masking, but I think this paper gets at what is really going on. It's not that both autistic men and women are trying to mask as neurotypical, and autistic women do better job of it. Autistic men are trying to mask as neurotypical men, autistic women are trying to mask as neurotypical women. Autistic people frequently feel like imposters. Most people, when they feel like imposters… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/03/26 03:36 PM |
| 1 | American Nurses Association Recognizes Men’s Health as a Nursing SpecialtyYeah, I think this is it. GamerGate, MeToo, and everything after have swung men to the right and proven that that can determine elections. So the right wants to keep that momentum, and the left wants to regain momentum, meaning both sides have an incentive to at least pretend to care. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/26 06:57 PM |
| 61 | American Nurses Association Recognizes Men’s Health as a Nursing SpecialtyJason Mott, PhD, RN, American Association for Men in Nursing (AAMN) President, added, “Men’s health isn’t just a men’s issue. Healthier men and boys mean healthier families and healthier communities.” It's annoying that helping men has to be framed in terms of helping the people around them, because helping men for their own sake isn't allowed. But if that's what it takes to get people to give a shit, then I'll take it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/26 03:50 PM |
| 19 | For the women and non binary people on this subGenuine question, what feminist spaces are you hanging out in? In person around academics, I've found that they're pretty careful with their claims and try not to overgeneralize. But in 15 years of lurking in online feminist spaces on a near daily basis, I've literally only seen one on Quora where things like "kill all men" and "men are trash" are ever challenged, in all of the others they get dozen or hundreds of upvotes. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/02/26 09:05 PM |
| 5 | Do You Dislike The Term "Men's Rights?"I very slightly dislike the term "men's rights", not necessarily because of any association with MRAs, but because I think it anchors the conversation in the wrong place. Similar to how "privilege" always anchors the conversation in "one group being given free stuff" and then the person who said privilege always has to backpedal from there. "Men's rights" immediately invites the question "What rights are men lacking?" Circumcision and conscription are both clear examples of men and boys lacking … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/02/26 08:01 PM |
| 16 | I just found this community today and it's been life changingI'm in a similar boat. There's a part of me that wishes he didn't kowtow so much to feminists, but at the same time that allows him to be a very useful part of a pipeline to shift the Overton window of the gender discourse. In my mind the pipeline is something like: bell hooks - Introduces feminists to the concept that it's even possible for men to have problems at all, gets them to the point of "patriarchy hurts men too", but still explicitly centers women's issues Richard Reeves - Nonthreateni… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/02/26 05:02 PM |
| 9 | Dear Feminist Lurkers,I agree with all of this. Unequal outcomes are a sign that we need to take out our shovels and dig, to find out why they are unequal. The answer is usually going to be that there is some subtle form of discrimination a few steps upstream of the outcome. Trying to force equality is not going to solve that subtle discrimination, and it's going to introduce very heavy-handed discrimination on top of it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/26 06:58 PM |
| 5 | Have you ever thought maybe boys who don't fit the traditional male archetype are shafted under feminist views?There are a lot of things that go into it, but ultimately I think it reduces down to various flavors cognitive dissonance. They have formed certain ideas about boys and men, and these particular boys and men prove those ideas wrong, which triggers anger, and they lash out to preserve their worldview. For some, they've been hurt and decided that all men are bad. If one outwardly looks good, he must just be performing goodness to hide his inner badness. The suspicion and testing usually drives the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/02/26 04:54 PM |
| 4 | My feelings currentlyI notice your name a lot since you're pretty active here, and I thought something felt different recently. I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I went through something vaguely similar about 10 years ago. For me it was believing in women's rights but seeing all of the hypocrisy and misandry within feminism, hitting around the same time as a neurodivergent gifted kid burnout. The common thread between the two was people feeling entitled to my labor, expecting me to magically make all of t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/02/26 12:17 PM |
| 11 | Homelessness and Men (thoughts on feminist arguments)On the whole, these point toward feminists fundamentally not understanding how men have been oppressed. Women's gender roles all center around being coerced into sex and reproduction, using the threat of physical violence, and the promise of safety and security. Marry a good man who will provide you a home and protection from bad men, and in turn give him sex and children. Gender roles reduce women to mothers and sex objects. Men's gender roles reduce men to success objects and weapons, using th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/01/26 04:19 PM |
| 17 | Homelessness and Men (thoughts on feminist arguments)Exactly. Desperate women are exploited to perform sex, desperate men are exploited to perform violence. But both are exploited | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/01/26 12:47 PM |
| 12 | Misandry will never be taken seriously because it has a very narrow definition compared to misogynyI've been arguing this for years. Misandry appears to be a much smaller problem than misogyny because misandry has been subjected to isolated demands for rigor, so that everything that should be considered an example of misandry can be appropriated into misogyny instead. Male-only conscription should be considered the definitive example of systemic misandry. Governments around the world have decided that if citizen's lives need to be spent for national security, those lives should be male, becau… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/01/26 06:24 PM |
| 6 | Anyone noticed nowadays there's barely any good representation of short men in Western media? And I feel like it's only gonna get worse.I'm not really a fan of dwarves as short representation. They are short, but they're also always depicted as extremely stout and strong, and very hairy and bearded. To me it feels less "short is acceptable" and more "if you're going to be short then you need to be hypermasculine in other ways to make up for it." I prefer hobbits/halflings as short representation, because they're short and they don't have to be hypermasculine to make up for it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/01/26 09:19 PM |
| 19 | Why Are Male Gender Roles More Resistant to Change?I think this is the single biggest reason that men's gender roles have changed so much less than women's. When women's gender roles said that women can't do things, they could step up and do them anyway, and unilaterally force change. When men's gender roles say that men need to take the active role, and men contest them by stepping back, if women don't step forward then nothing happens. That's exactly what we're seeing with dating now. A huge portion of men stepped back, women didn't step forwa… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/01/26 08:00 PM |
| 9 | LWMA and Internationality QuestionMost of the value of intersectionality is in reminding the ivory tower part of the left that people are complicated, and you should ask people about their lived experiences instead of making assumptions based on a checklist. The backlash in this subreddit is because the people that reminder was directed at instead concluded that if they made a more detailed checklist, then they could go back to making assumptions about people's lived experiences (and treating/mistreating them accordingly) instea… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/01/26 01:09 AM |
| 22 | Misandrist and feminist loreIt's technically true if you use the definition written by Mary Koss, in which it is only rape if the perpetrator has a penis, and perpetrators without penises can only commit sexual assault. However, it doesn't actually tell you anything useful about the world. It's like saying "I flipped this coin and I only counted the times when it landed heads, and it landed heads every time I counted. This coin is biased toward heads." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/26 01:38 PM |
| 33 | Misandrist and feminist loreThe original definition of emotional labor was hiding your true emotions and performing different emotions for the comfort of the people around you, such as putting on a happy customer service voice at work while grieving. If you do this too much, without getting any downtime in a safe space to process your true emotions, you end up unable to identify your true emotions and they explode out chaotically. Oh look, that's the motte definition of toxic masculinity, when they're not trying to use the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/26 01:27 PM |
| 9 | "Feminism = Gender Equality" Is Just False By DefinitionIt also depends on which version of intersectionality you're dealing with. The original academic version is that axes of oppression don't add together in a linear, predictable way, instead they mix chaotically. You can't combine the testimonies of white women and black men to predict the experiences of black women, you need to ask them directly. A good example of this is the recent post about gay men versus lesbians. Someone strictly adding the axes together would predict that gay men would be p… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/01/26 04:43 PM |
| 9 | Ana Psychology use evolution and biology to justify male gender roles.Male disposability is the idea that women are precious and deserve to be protected, while men's lives are less valuable and men should be the ones to do anything dangerous. Male-only conscription is the most obvious example of this. Heteronormative dating scripts almost always involve positioning women as valuable prizes that men need to compete for. Women have value by default, while men are assumed to have no value by default and must prove their value by competing. It's not the literal cannon… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/01/26 08:10 PM |
| 10 | Do you think there was more Misandry in 2025 on social media than previous yearsI think it follows a roughly 10 year cycle. I think we're at a peak now, and the last peak was around 2014-2016. When man vs bear happened, I started telling people to prepare for another Trump presidency, because it reminded me so much of that 2014-2016 wave. And during that wave, I saw a lot of people linking to posts and articles from around 2005, so I think that was the wave before. I think this wave is a bit anemic compared to the 2014-2016 wave though. I think part of that is because Trump… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/01/26 12:59 PM |
| 4 | Feminist's complete lack of empathy for intactivism is very offputting.How does the answer to that question change how we should act in this situation? If an individual is talking about their trauma at the hands of another individual, group power dynamics are irrelevant, the only power dynamic that matters is the one between those two individuals. If someone is expressing trauma, the correct response is "That sucks" not "People who aren't you did bad things so you're not allowed to feel pain" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/01/26 06:49 PM |
| 18 | If you claim that a man getting offended when exerting hate speech of men (I hate men, men are trash etc) is guilty of the things you hate of them, then you're part of the problem.This is a rhetorical strategy called a Kafka Trap, and it's a pretty common strategy used to allow stereotypes to defend themselves. Any objection to the stereotype is proof of the stereotype. Any complaint that women are mistreated is hysteria, any complaint that black people are mistreated is angry black people, any complaint that short men are mistreated is Napoleon Complex, and so on. Unfortunately, this strategy is very difficult to combat. The core of the trap is that the act of objecting … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/01/26 04:25 PM |
| 1 | How UN manipulates its Gender Development Index to hide an uncomfortable truthIt's possible the mods gave them that flair, but i would wager that it's a self-applied flair. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/01/26 05:35 PM |
| 20 | The Left Has An Insatiable Desire to Body Shame Short MenThere are a lot of people who ended up on the left because they simply copied the opinions of the people around them, rather than interrogating and deconstructing their thoughts and beliefs, and this is one of those topics that makes it really clear who is who. To the people who copied their beliefs, body shaming women is bad because a lot of people say it is bad. Body shaming men is okay because very few people say it is bad. Bad people like Stephen Miller deserve to be shamed, and shaming his … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/01/26 04:08 PM |
| 63 | The Left Has An Insatiable Desire to Body Shame Short MenI imagine if there were a widespread movement of men saying "I didn't slut-shame her because I think sluts are bad, I think they're great. I slut-shamed her because she thinks sluts are bad, therefore it's an effective insult against her," feminists wouldn't be very sympathetic to that argument. And rightly so. It doesn't matter if you genuinely believe trait is bad, or if you're ironically doing it because they believe trait is bad, both reinforce the link that trait is bad, and that hurts ever… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/01/26 01:20 PM |
| 12 | It took a woman getting killed for people to take ICE seriously.That's why I added the "extremely egregious" qualifier. Also, George Floyd being black meant that the focus could be on race, and there was still lingering rage from Breonna Taylor being killed only two months before. Both of those certainly made a difference, though I can't say how much. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 04:31 PM |
| 16 | It took a woman getting killed for people to take ICE seriously.Exactly. They use the oppressor/oppressed dichotomy to justify punching up, but they always punch at the lowest part of the person. Donald Trump is undeniably above anyone punching at him because he's the sitting president, but fat shaming him only makes sense if fat is something you should be ashamed of. So punching up at him by fat shaming him is also inherently punching down at fat people by extension. It's not enough that the person you're targeting is high in the hierarchy, the part of them… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 04:00 PM |
| 4 | I hate that you can’t talk about misandry in leftist spacesThe movement isn't really achieving much, so they don't need to split it, they just need to keep it from getting bigger. If they can ensure that the general population is exposed to its worst ideas first, that will effectively vaccinate them against its best ideas. Sort of like how feminists signal boosted Andrew Tate into the stratosphere, so now we have to deal with everyone lumping us in with him. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 03:46 PM |
| 3 | I hate that you can’t talk about misandry in leftist spacesAs a cis man, thank you for speaking up for us. It's terrible that the people who are supposed to be allies have put you in a position where you feel the need to take on this burden, but I am glad that you are willing and able to do it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 03:31 PM |
| 1 | I hate that you can’t talk about misandry in leftist spacesYou're absolutely right that a large amount of feminist rhetoric toward men is very similar to white supremacist rhetoric toward racialized people. To give a couple examples: Blacks/men make up X% of the population, but X+Y% of crime stats You have a bowl of X M&Ms and Y of them are laced with poison, are you taking the chance? - Used for both men/rapists and refugees/criminals However, I would be careful about drawing the comparison, because it is a high risk/high reward strategy. The earliest … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 03:22 PM |
| 55 | It took a woman getting killed for people to take ICE seriously.I dislike that law enforcement brutality rarely matters as long as it's hurting men, unless it's extremely egregious, but is a huge deal once it affects even a single woman. But because it so disproportionately impacts men, anything that brings additional scrutiny to it disproportionately helps men. Similar to how feminists never cared how much their rhetoric hurt men, but once lesbians pointed out that demonizing attraction to women hurts them too, and trans people pointed out how easily the wi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 03:07 PM |
| 12 | I hate that you can’t talk about misandry in leftist spacesI don't think the argument is that the CIA created these ideas from whole cloth. I think the argument is that within movements that threaten the establishment, they back the worst people and ideas to make those movements look worse in the eyes of the general populace. So within the left, they signal boost the hateful idiots, and then the reasonable people have to start every conversation on the back foot cleaning up their messes. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/01/26 02:10 PM |
| 11 | I hate that you can’t talk about misandry in leftist spacesIn my experience, "transmisandry" always triggers "misandry doesn't exist" responses, but "transandrophobia" actually goes over pretty well because it's obvious that a lot of women fear men. But yeah, once they're convinced that trans people can experience prejudice specifically because they are perceived as male or male-adjacent, you can bridge that to prejudice against men. For example, the TERF myth that "trans women are really men putting on disguises to prey on women" isn't coherent without… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/01/26 03:45 PM |
| 18 | I hate that you can’t talk about misandry in leftist spacesI think a big part of the problem is that "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail" expanded patriarchy far beyond its original remit, and it is being asked to do way too much. Patriarchy theory was created in response to women's issues, which mostly revolve around sex and pregnancy. Patriarchy literally means "rule of the father", and is a pretty good name for a system that limits women's sexuality to one man, to ensure paternity of any children she bears. It's a good name f… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/01/26 03:22 PM |
| 4 | How UN manipulates its Gender Development Index to hide an uncomfortable truthI saw two main ones pointed out in the article. The first is the Long and Healthy Life subindex. They add 5 years to men's life expectancy, so if women outlive men by less than 5 years, it's counted as discrimination against women. Another factor that's not mentioned in this article, but frequently mentioned in similar ones, is that the index doesn't even allow the discrepancy to go the other way. So if women outlived men by 10 years, that would be treated as perfect equality. The second is the … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/01/26 04:23 PM |
| 5 | How UN manipulates its Gender Development Index to hide an uncomfortable truthYou're flaired as "feminist guest", and most of the people in this subreddit are here because of the misandry prevalent in feminist forums. So if you're sarcastic or facetious, they're likely to interpret that as genuine misandry. I've seen enough of your comments also expressing frustration with the misandry within feminist forums that I assume sarcasm rather than misandry, but I don't think it's practical to expect that from everyone here. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/01/26 03:28 PM |
| 10 | Has misandry ruined the left?Exactly, it's isolated demands for rigor. For them to call something misandry, it has to be an action taken by the political class of a nation, whose political class has always been majority-female, specifically intended to benefit women at the expense of men. Anything short of that is just women being mean on the internet, and that doesn't matter. Whereas misogyny doesn't have to be a political action, or even an action at all, misogyny can be mean words or thoughts. Misogyny can benefit women … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/01/26 02:50 PM |
| 9 | Has misandry ruined the left?We know they wouldn't be okay with people using that rhetoric against racial minorities, because they stole it from conservatives after yelling at them for it. I remember republicans using it to argue that terrorists could be hiding among refugees from Syria, and that MS-13 could be hiding among asylum seekers from Central America, to give a few examples. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/01/26 02:36 PM |
| 3 | Is the Me Too movement overall good or bad?Part of me wishes that "man vs bear" has happened around then, so men could have justified not interacting 1:1 with "woman vs bear". The mentality of the two is nearly identical. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/12/25 08:49 PM |
| 7 | Is the Me Too movement overall good or bad?I agree with you that that aspect was pretty shitty, and should never have been accepted, but this claim seems pretty ahistorical to me Pretty much no one would endorse any historical group who built their prosperity off sacrificing others. Quite a lot of human history was majority groups sacrificing minority groups for their own benefit. I agree with the general thrust of your argument, the willingness to sacrifice innocent men is morally inexcusable. I just wanted to push back on that specific… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/12/25 08:46 PM |
| 3 | Are we feminists by nature?It depends on the definition you use, because feminism has a lot of definitions depending on the person and the situation. When feminists are trying to bolster their numbers so they can claim that they represent the will of the people, they go with extremely mild definitions like "Feminism is the belief that women are people too" or "Feminism aims to get rid of all gender-based harms for everyone". By those extremely mild and unobjectionable decisions, we would count as feminists. Everyone here … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/12/25 09:07 PM |
| 14 | The Feminist Pick-meMight I suggest that this *might* be in no small part because they dislike axes of privilege where they're not the victims? You're absolutely right about this. My experience is that the most annoying people are the ones who can only claim to be oppressed on exactly one axis, because they torture every single problem they've ever experienced to be because of that one axis, to avoid anything ever being their fault. To be fair, we're not immune to this either. Cishet white men on the left have a te… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/12/25 05:08 PM |
| 1 | What are some arguments for female exploitation of males being at the root of all gender issues?Strongly agree on your last point. Gender roles are inherently mirrored, and there's only so much you can do from one side of the mirror, while actively avoiding the other side. The pay gap is a good example of this. As far as making it illegal for employers to discriminate against women in either hiring or pay, the problem is very nearly solved, yet the gap refuses to close. That's because the gap is childcare. Most men don't even get the choice, because very few jobs/countries offer substantia… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/12/25 03:30 PM |
| 1 | "The average man has more privilege than the average woman"The people in power matching your identity helps you if: They experience the same problems that you do They decide to solve those problems in a way that helps you too If they don't experience the same problems, then they only care as much as they are affected by them. They don't care about helping the homeless, they just don't want to see them. They don't care about workplace injury/death, they just want to make sure that they can't get sued for it. To highlight the importance of the second poin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/11/25 06:12 PM |
| 1 | "The average man has more privilege than the average woman"I don't have any data to back this up, but I would speculate that for female ex-cons, employers are likely to assume that a gap in a CV is childcare. If that is the case, that would make it a lot easier to reintegrate and reduce the odds of reoffense. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/11/25 02:02 PM |
| 5 | Thank you note from a womanThank you for taking us and our issues seriously, the world would be a better place if more women were like you! If you don't mind me asking, how did you make your way here? I think recognizing and reaching out to women like you is one of the most important things we can do here, because women's voices carry much more weight than men's regarding gender issues. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/11/25 03:14 PM |
| 31 | International Men's Day is a good time to talk about the gender empathy gap and how that perpetuates discrimination against menA fun challenge for those people: In which contexts would you deem it appropriate for men to talk about their issues? How much time do you spend in those contexts? Every single time I've ever tried this, they actively avoid any context in which it would be appropriate for men to talk about their issues. So of course it's going to look like men only ever bring them up in inappropriate contexts, because they've filtered out any possibility where they would deem it appropriate. It basically reduces… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/11/25 05:22 PM |
| 10 | People lump all parts of the "Manosphere" togetherI've noticed this too. The comparison I like to make is that it's like lumping 4B (MGTOW counterpart) and Tradwives (TRP counterpart) together into a Womanosphere, just because both groups are women. Obviously that doesn't make any sense, 4B is a rejection of the tradwife lifestyle, any group containing both is not a coherent or meaningful group. And the same is true of the manosphere, the only common factor is men, it's not at all coherent. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/11/25 01:29 PM |
| 19 | I can't believe this has to be said but um... socially disadvantaged men matter too, okay?I grew up in a conservative rural area, and I fought through all of that conditioning to try to live up to feminist ideals. The response? The right hates me for abandoning their masculine ideals, I expected that going in. What I didn't expect was that the left now feels safe enough with me to unload all of their man hate on me, instead of the men who are causing the problems that they use to justify their man hate. I understand the mindset of "you don't get a cookie for taking your boot off of s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/11/25 04:31 PM |
| 0 | Even if men's issues were entirely due to "patriarchy", the result is the samePatriarchy theory stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what privilege is and where it comes from. Privilege isn't the powers that be deciding to bestow blessings upon everyone who happens to look like them out of the goodness of their hearts. When the powers that be feel pain, they get rid of that pain by whatever means they have at their disposal. If they feel the same pain that you feel, sometimes they solve their pain in a way that will get rid of your pain as well. Shared demographic… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/11/25 08:18 PM |
| 3 | Women either can't tell the difference between good men and bad men or men are just being paranoid/irrational about approaching women. Can't have it both ways.I haven't crunched the data for SA, but for rape it is only true in jurisdictions where the definition of rape requires that the perpetrator has a penis, such as the UK. Obviously, that has a very strong selective effect. According to most studies that actually include it, 70-80% of male victims were "made to penetrate", overwhelmingly by female perpetrators. When that data is added, half or more of male victims had female perpetrators. To give an example the 2016/2017 NISVS reported 340K male v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/25 05:06 PM |
| 6 | I realize how most dating advice for men you get from people is unhelpful, sexist, and biased, and why I think that's the case.I've seen a few different rhetorical strains. One is pure entitlement. They shouldn't have to offer men anything because men don't deserve anything, or even explain it because explaining is emotional labor. Men should just get on board, and if they don't they are pieces of shit. Another is trickle down feminism. Every gender role can be framed in terms of either gender, eg: Women are more nurturing = men are less nurturing. Therefore, every gender role can be framed in terms of misogyny if you a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/11/25 01:24 PM |
| 34 | What is the stance of this subreddit?Option 2 is the closest fit. The general consensus is that we want to help men, not by restoring past hierarchies and gender roles the way the right wants to, but by breaking the hierarchies and roles the way the left wants to. However, most of the left is very hung up on a binary oppressor/oppressed dichotomy, and sees men as the oppressor. Because of that, there is very little interest in helping men, and a lot of interest in getting revenge against the men of today for the sins of the men of … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/10/25 02:07 PM |
| 36 | Bernie Sanders on Men's issuesFeminists missed a huge opportunity for that when they ejected the TERFs. Years ago, I tolerated some of the crazy bullshit within feminism because I figured it was too large and diffuse to have any real immune system. Anyone could say they were a feminist and say some crazy shit, and there wasn't like a central feminist council to revoke their membership or anything. Then when the mainstream became aware of trans people and their issues, feminists got together and rejected TERFs pretty conclusi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/10/25 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Hot Take: The tone of this sub is starting to head in a concerning directionHalf of the comments on this post are variations of "Feminism and the left claimed to be better than the right, then didn't live up to their principles." If we are going to claim to be better than them, then we need to learn from their mistakes and live up to our principles. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/10/25 11:03 AM |
| 13 | NO, autistic women do not mask better than autistic menWell yeah, socially awkward people don't socialize much, that's part of the social awkwardness. So of course you're not going to run into them very often compared to how many of them are actually out there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/25 07:35 PM |
| 11 | Left-wing politician body-shaming short menI have a high-minded objection, and a few low-minded objections. The high-minded objection is that if we're going to claim to hold principles like "body shaming is bad", and we're going to demand that other people follow those principles, then the very least we can do is follow them ourselves. If we discard our principles because it's mildly inconvenient to follow them, then they're not really principles, and we don't have a leg to stand on. It's similar to how "gay marriage is a threat to the s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/10/25 04:10 PM |
| 54 | Left-wing politician body-shaming short menWhen you point this out to them, they're always like "So you want us to coddle poor little privileged men? No thanks!" No, I don't want any coddling at all. I just want you (rhetorical you, not you specifically) to be consistent in your values. You shit on the right for treating politics like a team sport rather than having any consistent principles, then throw all of your pro-equality principles out the window to shit on men. If shaming men for having short bodies is okay, then you don't actual… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/10/25 11:32 AM |
| 25 | We're Raising Boys to Hate Themselves, Then Blaming Them for Being AngryIn my mind it's less "here's how to comply with gender roles" and more "here's how to function and stay healthy when people try to hold you to shitty gendered expectations." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/10/25 04:15 PM |
| 3 | The average man is not below an average woman.I would argue that if you only consider aesthetics, the average woman is closer to the Platonic female ideal than the average man is to the Platonic male ideal. Humanity has had a few millennia of men judging women based on looks, and women figuring out ways to optimize for that. Men are way behind in that arms race. However, looks are only one factor in the function that determines overall partner value. Financial stability is another factor, one I would argue is more important than looks since… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/25 03:59 PM |
| 12 | Hasan tries to push some "positive masculinity" as "advice" to young men.I think this part is what young men struggle with the most. Feminists have put out so much "don't ask a woman out in any situation that is physically possible in the real world" that the young men who care at all about respecting women's boundaries at all aren't approaching ever. So then women are only approached by the guys who don't respect boundaries, and double down on the rhetoric even more, and the cycle keeps cycling. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/09/25 11:05 AM |
| 4 | Performative maleI usually hear "performative male" used similarly to how Nice Guy TM was used 10-15 years ago, to refer to a guy who goes so far out of his way to portray traits the thinks will perceive as positive that they can't get a sense of who the real person is underneath the performance. From the receiving end, it looks a bit like a woke form of love bombing. I do think that performative male is a far better term for this than Nice Guy TM, which had a major problem with being confused with guys who are … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/09/25 02:35 PM |
| 13 | A Feminist or Menlibs caring about the male loneliness epidemic is usually a red-flag.I agree that this tends to be true more often than not, but I would caution against trapped priors and kafka traps. If you're too quick to assume that any sign of caring about lonely men means pretending to care for the sake of exploiting them, then you weed out the possibility of genuinely caring, and everyone becomes further entrenched in their positions because there is no other option. It's the same sin they commit when they say that men need to solve men's issues, then lump anyone who talks… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/09/25 03:15 PM |
| 3 | "Women are just as horny, they just have safety/shame issues" doesn't check out with women not being tormented by sexlessness.I think this is the real distinction. For men, seeing an appropriately shaped body is often enough to get them started. For women, the visuals certainly help, but there also needs to be a emotional sense of safety and familiarity. Probably because pregnancy/a baby in a dangerous situation is a gigantic liability. My girlfriend's sex drive has skyrocketed as she's worked through her trauma in therapy. And just to head off any slap-fighting in the replies, some people only know unsafe relationship… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/09/25 12:04 AM |
| 19 | New report reveals that young men are feeling "defensive, disenfranchised and uncertain"I think the biggest thing would be to treat men as individuals instead of a hive mind. The left and right both scold men and boys, but in different ways. The right scolds them for failing to uphold and represent traditional male gender roles. If they change to better fit those roles and become "real men" the scolding stops. The path to success is self destructive and toxic, but it is there. The left scolds men and boys for every societal issue that has gender as a significant component. It does … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/09/25 08:55 PM |
| 48 | Examples of Subtle, or Outright, Hostility Towards Men in Left MessagingI've noticed the same thing. It makes it really clear that for a lot of the left, the problem with the right isn't hurting people based on the circumstances of their birth, but hurting the wrong people based on the circumstances of their birth. A lot of people are perfectly happy to take the right's tactics and turn them around against men. There was one point when a surge in the poisoned candy metaphor coincided with a refugee crisis, and I was seeing articles that were like "Wait, if you just … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/09/25 10:13 PM |
| 29 | Every woman beater I've ever met was almost constantly in relationshipsI think that incels, if anything, suffer from being high-inhibition (and unattractive) as opposed to being a violent women hater. Most inkies/chronically single guys I personally know are more so shy than they are aggressive violent misogynists. This is basically it. When women say "good/bad personality", men hear "moral/immoral", but women usually mean something more like "fun and charming/boring or unpleasant." Incels aren't immoral, or at least they don't start off that way. Incels are boring… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/25 11:41 PM |
| 3 | Women do not fall for "manipulation" as much as they want to think they doTo be fair, it's going to be hard to cite examples of autistic celebrities, because the traits required for many pathways to celebrity status are the same traits that autism symptoms impair. So because of that, there aren't many possible examples. And if the example isn't a celebrity, or at least someone who has a significant google presence, you can accuse them of making them up. So just by the nature of online debate and the subjects, this is a difficult challenge. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/25 02:52 PM |
| 44 | Women do not fall for "manipulation" as much as they want to think they doThat was literally the point of man vs bear, and all of that entire style of rhetoric. That some men are sexual predators, and its hard to tell which ones, so all men are assumed sexual predators until proven otherwise. If starting interactions from a default position of having to prove that you're not a violent psychopath doesn't count as being asked to answer for them, then what could possibly count? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/25 02:44 PM |
| 14 | The male burden of performance perfectly articulatedI believe that this is what fragile masculinity would mean if men were involved in the conversation on a level deeper than "I can't be racist because I have a black friend". Feminists correctly recognize that masculinity is a socially granted status that men have to maintain through performance, rather than being one-and-done after puberty the way femininity is. However, they present the consequences of failing to maintain that status as merely feeling anxiety and insecurity about not being perc… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/09/25 02:39 PM |
| – | Why do men here act surprised that women like attractive men ?I might be an outlier, but I was actually explicitly taught that by every female relative and friend I trusted enough to ask when I was in high school (back in the late aughts for me). I give my relatives a pass because they were all boomers or older. When women were dependent on men to be providers, having earning potential and being a decent person was actually a compelling pitch. The playbook they gave me was outdated, but it was a good one in their day. As for my friends, my charitable guess… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 06:55 PM |
| – | Why do men here act surprised that women like attractive men ?To extend the metaphor, the bottleneck for most men is getting in the door. Most women have plenty of men trying to come in through the door, and the bottleneck for them is finding men that they want to keep in the room. My charitable interpretation is that women are trying to give men advice to help them past the bottleneck that they perceive as most prominent; staying in the room. And to be fair, the personality-based advice is genuinely helpful for staying in the room. They simply don't reali… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/25 06:28 PM |
| 30 | A Gen Z therapist reflects on how misandry has contaminated modern mental health.I'm a big fan of the CuratedTumblr subreddit because of this. They're one of the few communities that has noticed how easily the magic incantation "male socialization" allows TERFs to transmute anti-male sentiment into anti-trans-woman sentiment. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/09/25 03:33 PM |
| 22 | The alarm over the “growing manosphere” is a self-fulfilling prophecy, as the term itself is a dishonest rhetorical device to poison the well against legitimate topicsMen have all of the power in society, so they need to fix their own problems. Except without asking anyone to change how they behave toward men in any way, because they don't deserve to be coddled. Or acknowledging whining about their problems, because that's trauma dumping and demanding emotional labor. Just silently make their problems go away without me having to lift a finger or even think about them. If problems experienced by 50% of the population rise to even 1% of my mind share, that's t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/09/25 01:55 PM |
| 40 | Men Are the Expendable Gender — TV TropesIn general I find that TV Tropes is pretty fair regarding gender. I think it's because they're strictly based around observing patterns, not around any sort of advocacy or change. So in a way, they don't have any skin in the game, and they don't have any reason to skew things. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/08/25 01:09 PM |
| 9 | How can we convince women to challenge misandry?Just to add another perspective, when people link feminism and toxicity, they're usually referring to the sins of the father revenge fantasies that some feminists engage in. The general idea is that the men of the past did so much cruelty to the women of the past that the women of today can be as cruel as they want to the men of today, and it won't even come close to paying down that balance. As you probably already noticed from my choice of "sins of the father", the obvious flaw with that argum… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/07/25 01:26 PM |
| 1 | If the people on this sub are opposed to feminism, how do we solve mens' issues while also solving the issues affecting women?My strategy is to say fuck the group labels, and focus on specific individual behaviors. When I see someone behaving in a pro-equality way, I go out of my way to make sure they know that I appreciate their behavior. If they are addressing men's issues, I make doubly sure to do so, because they are likely catching strays from both feminists and conservatives for doing so. Though it's a little sexist of me, I go further out of my way to encourage women who are standing up for men, because it's so … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/07/25 03:33 PM |
| 8 | Female privilege and men issues are connected. So it makes so much sense why Feminists are usually so hostile towards any movements for men.This is exactly the sort of thing that "The Purpose of a System is What it Does" was coined for. If a system claims to do A, but consistently does B, where B directly contradicts A, then the purpose of the system is to do B and A is a cover story. I like to draw a comparison between TERFs and misandrists. TERFs were a vocal minority, and it took decades, but eventually mainstream feminism developed the immune system to consistently detect and exclude TERFs. The fact that mainstream feminism supp… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/06/25 03:08 PM |
| 2 | Debunking the myth that there's no systemic discrimination against menI think this point could be made stronger with some specificity Offices prioritize female needs (maternity leave, breastfeeding rooms), yet men work more and suffer more So the obvious counterpoint is paternity leave, but what other changes are needed? Men don't have an analogue to breastfeeding | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/06/25 03:01 PM |
| 2 | "If you feel attacked, you're the problem!"The maddening thing about this is that they can recognize it in many other contexts. When a woman gets angry about the mistreatment of women, and she is dismissed as "hysterical", they recognize that as a kafkatrap. They recognize it when black people point out racism and get dismissed as "angry black men/women". But then they turn around and do the same thing to us, because it's different when they do it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/06/25 03:23 PM |
| 3 | If women love misogynists, then why do so many men here struggle?I think a lot of it is people not having the emotional intelligence to recognize what they see, in more ways than one. The single biggest thing a man can do to improve his chances of getting a date is to approach a lot of women, without being overly invested in getting a positive response from any particular one. You miss all of the shots you don't take, and being overly invested makes women feel unsafe, because what will you do if they say no? Women have put out roughly billions of pages of con… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/25 03:13 PM |
| 31 | Blatantly UntrueThis feels very similar to the "misogyny kills, misandry hurts feelings" meme. Of course that's how things are going to look when you define "misandry" exclusively as women saying mean things to men on the internet, and define every other form of sexism as misogyny. Take male-only drafts for example. "That's misogyny because women are perceived as too weak to fight." But when the law was changed to allow women to serve in combat roles, they weren't added to the draft. If it was about women being… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/06/25 02:05 PM |
| 11 | A genuine question (no hate please )You're right that bad behavior on our side is often excused with "But feminists did it first!" And feminists excuse bad behavior on their side with "But men did it first!" The bad behavior of individuals is used as an excuse to take shots at entire demographics out of revenge, giving the innocents who were hit an excuse to fire back out of revenge. The cycle never ends. Personally, I think everyone should be held to a higher standard across the board. The raw, unfiltered anger at being mistreate… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/06/25 04:34 PM |
| – | I think men act and feel more entitled to romantic success than they realiseI would argue that a lot of men are in a position pretty similar to the student loan crisis. As teenagers, they were given a bad path to success by the adults around them, sometimes because those adults didn't know how much the world has changed since they were young, sometimes because those adults were trying to correct for their own mistakes. They believed it because they didn't have the life experience to know any better. So they spent their late teens/early adult years optimizing for what th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 07:41 PM |
| 7 | When men face any problems disproportionally, It's framed as being their own fault. Whereas with women, it's always "systemic"Also, it's far more reasonable to expect people to police people they share freely chosen labels with than it is to expect them to police people they share unchosen genes with. If you don't want to be tarred with the same brush as the crazies, you can choose to stop associating with the label, but you can't choose to change your genes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 03:18 PM |
| 5 | Democrats Have Spent 20 Million Dollars Trying To Figure Out How To Talk To MenFrom the article, I'm not sure if they're in the stage of developing the curriculum, or if they're in the stage of presenting the curriculum to politicians. If they're developing it, then letter-writing campaigns might influence it. If it's already developed and they're presenting it, then it's already too late. I'm really hoping that they figure out that men are human beings capable of feeling pain and experiencing problems. I suspect what's actually going to come out of this is them saying "br… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/25 02:01 PM |
| 17 | Democrats Have Spent 20 Million Dollars Trying To Figure Out How To Talk To MenI agree that Richard Reeves is too apologetic to feminism, but every democratic politician talking to men the way he does would still be a massive step up from "men are the root of all evil." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/25 01:57 PM |
| 35 | Why is it that whenever men try to open up about serious issues mental health, loneliness, systemic struggles the conversation always gets hijacked or derailed with blame, deflection, or “women have it worse”? Where are the spaces for honest, empathetic discussion?This is why I blanket-ignore all of the "If you only bring up men's issues in response to women's issues, then you don't care about helping male victims, only shutting down female victims." If men bring up men's issues in men's spaces (ie: what they would consider the appropriate context), then they would never see it because they have men's spaces blocked from their feeds. If men bring up men's issues by starting their own posts in neutral spaces, without belittling women in any way, then they'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/25 01:52 PM |
| 5 | Stop glorifying "masculinity"Honestly, I think all conversations about social justice issues would go more smoothly if people actually defined the terms they're using, instead of just throwing around jargon that everyone involved defines slightly differently. Partly because it would reduce the frequency of people talking past each other, partly because it would expose a lot of hypocrisy. Describing freely chosen behavior is perfectly fine. Compelling people to play a role is not. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/25 04:13 PM |
| 2 | Stop glorifying "masculinity"The comments in this thread are a good example of why I am very quick to taboo words whenever disagreement arises. "Masculinity" as a set of rules that men must follow, and must be punished if they do not follow, must be rejected. Men should be free to choose their own course, not forced into a box that benefits others at their own expense. "Masculinity" as a description of the choices that men make of their own free will, rather than because they were pressured into them under the threat of soc… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/25 04:10 PM |
| 11 | Why are you opposed to feminism?My problem with feminism is the weird motte-and-bailey, strategic equivocation two-step that it does with men's issues. Feminism is the definitive gender movement. Feminism is for everybody. If you believe in gender equality, you are a feminist, simple as that. Until you mention that men experience problems too. Then men need to stop expecting women to solve their problems for them. Feminism is by women for women, men need to form their own movements. When men form their own movements, if they e… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/25 03:30 PM |
| 8 | Is Slut shaming purely hatred for Male sexuality?I personally believe that slut shaming is a way to extract value from male sexuality, sort of like a cartel fixing prices. Nature abhors a vacuum, whenever things are unequal nature tends to equalize them. We have a lot of technologies that revolve around making things unequal and then taking advantage of that equalization to do work. Using unequal pressures to turn a turbine, separating electrical charges to power a circuit, and so on. If you slut shame women into passivity, then men have to be… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/25 02:52 PM |
| – | If dating dynamics were changed, women would not use the same argumentsI fully agree with this However, complaining TO women about how much you dislike them, and then expecting them to change into someone you like (especially the dudes who use the “you’re not attractive enough for Chad! You should date uglier men like me!”), is more a fantasy wish than a solution. That said, that perfectly describes a very large portion of how women speak to men regarding dating. I don't mean that as a gotcha. Just pointing out that the overwhelming majority of people who think the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/25 02:55 PM |
| 5 | Women love romance but men do romance.I was trying to reinforce your point that using examples from your life wouldn't convince anyone. You didn't use a fictional example because women romancing men only happens in fiction, you used a fictional example because it's accessible to internet strangers. I would also add that accessible examples of romance are almost all going to be fictional, because real people typically keep their romances private. Most accessible examples of men romancing women are also going to be fictional, but they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 08:10 PM |
| 4 | Women love romance but men do romance.I wish I could make everyone on the planet understand selection bias. We're anonymous strangers on the internet. We can't be guaranteed to have anything in common, so any examples we give have to be easily googled, which usually means pop culture. If you're asking for an example of "a person who does X", I can't respond with "my neighbor Jim" because you have no clue who that is, any example I give pretty much has to be a celebrity. I find that this gets especially toxic in regards to any discus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 02:20 PM |
| 7 | The "weaponize incompetence" myth.I think you're right that this is the root issue. Early on in my current relationship, my girlfriend would complain that I didn't clean things right, but she communicated instead of immediately jumping to accusations of weaponized incompetence. What it came down to was when she asked me to do the dishes, I would just do the dishes. Unload the clean dishes from the dishwasher, load it with dirty dishes and run it, hand wash anything that didn't fit, and that was it. When her mom asked her to do t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/05/25 02:29 PM |
| 7 | TheTinMen on Instagram: "Every time I see discussions about “men” in the context of political advocacy, it seems to focus on those at the very top or extreme ends of society—the most powerful or wealthiest men, as well as the most violent or corrupt. I think of the world’s dictators, Fortune 500People love to shit on male writers who represent women like "She breasted boobily to the stairs, then titted downwards." That is absolutely a real thing that happens, there are men who perceive women that way. However, women's perceptions of men aren't much more accurate. Instead it looks something like "He privileged powerfully to the stairs, then was carried downwards." Both are completely disconnected from reality, focused on what the writer cares most about, rather than the actual most sign… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/05/25 05:30 PM |
| 17 | “Trauma dumping”I agree with them that there is a calibration process, that you have to size the complaint to the relationship and the situation. I've seen guys way overshoot that and drop stuff that is way too heavy. That said, I've also seen women get far more wiggle room than men do. Women are calibrating to a target the size of a lake, then shitting on men for missing a target the size of a bucket. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/25 02:15 PM |
| 22 | My friend believes the left is too misandrist and has fallen for the alt-right.I fell halfway down the GamerGate pipeline back in the day. The thing that saved me was that I wasn't willing to do to others what they did to me. When bad things happen to you, you can have two reactions, "everyone should have to go through this" or "no one should have to go through this." I chose the latter. Your friend isn't driven by the same motivation I was, because it sounds like he's fine turning it around on other people. It sounds like for him, it's about escaping the sins of the fathe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/05/25 11:53 AM |
| 6 | TV show Adolescence gets the pipeline completely wrongMore generally, this is why I don't like the concept of punching up. People very rarely actually punch upward, because the people at the top have the resources and connections to make you regret it. Usually they punch at the lowest people in a demographic broadly considered above them. When they punch at white people, they usually punch at "trailer trash" poor whites. When they punch at men, they usually punch at neurodivergent men, and/or men who don't fit the physical standards of manliness. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/25 01:24 AM |
| 7 | Why are trans women more targeted than trans men?My read on it as a cis man, take it with a grain of salt. Society sees women as having inherent biological value, due to reproduction. All of our modern societies evolved in a context where they had to fear being invaded by their neighbors. The best way to fend of an invasion is to have the men protect the women, so the women can repopulate after. You can lose a lot of men without losing your ability to repopulate after. So men have very little inherent biological value. All of men's value comes… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/04/25 01:27 AM |
| 15 | Tired of this rhetoric with people supporting trans people by being misandristIt's even dumber, they're trying to fight fire with gasoline. The fear mongering around men is exactly what drives TERFs, they just draw the box around men slightly differently. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/25 03:45 PM |
| 7 | The reason why I think pro-male ideologies failI think this is the best answer. "Woman needs to be rescued from bad man by good man" (ie: damsel in distress) is one of the oldest storytelling tropes in existence. Feminism can use this to garner support, people are very primed to accept women as victims and men as villains. A lot of patriarchal rules were put in place specifically to protect women from bad men, proving that those rules hurt more than they helped judo-flipped a lot of that inertia in their favor. That's not to say that they di… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/04/25 03:55 PM |
| 4 | According to a famous study, men are less receptive than women to evidence of gender bias. This was widely interpreted as gender bias in the perception of gender bias. New research suggests, however, the finding might not be real...Everyone is more likely to perceive bias that directly affects them than they are to perceive bias that does not directly affect them. If you decide that bias against women is real and bias against men is fake, then of course you're going to observe that women are better at detecting "real" bias and that men are detecting "fake" bias. I would bet money that a study that allowed for the existence of bias against men would find that due to feminism, men are significantly better at detecting bias a… | /r/Male_Studies | 10/04/25 06:41 PM |
| 1 | Need Suggestions: Influencers for Young MenThere is one thing you should know about going in. Early on, a lot of his content was 1:1 interviews with streamers, and in those interviews he sometimes mentioned ayurvedic concepts. For instance, when ADHD came up, he would frequently link it to the vata dosha. He didn't push it very hard, he was mostly just drawing a comparison, but he got some backlash about it. He switched to lecture-style content a couple years ago, and with that he dropped the ayurvedic stuff and stuck to western evidence… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/04/25 03:52 PM |
| 14 | Need Suggestions: Influencers for Young MenI'm a big fan of HealthyGamerGG for mental health, and he often touches on issues related to masculinity. He's a gamer turned therapist, so he has professional training and knows what he's talking about, and his background helps him connect to gamers because he speaks their language. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/04/25 11:53 PM |
| 20 | What is feminism?It feels very "I'm not racist, I have a black friend!" If feminists are so good with men, wouldn't they have a second example they could point to? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/04/25 11:48 PM |
| 7 | I spoke to an incel expert about Netflix's AdolescenceI think there are a lot of issues interacting very poorly with each other. First is the idea that women have inherent value because of biology, but men are entirely self-made. Women who fall on hard times are victims who need to be helped, men who fall on hard times are disposable failures who deserve no sympathy. Second, feminism has done quite a lot to free women from their gender roles, and very little to free men from their gender roles. So men are still basically facing a choice of complyin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/03/25 01:45 PM |
| 27 | Boys to get anti-misogyny lessons as TV drama Adolescence hits homeI think it's going to turn out very similarly to DARE in the US. DARE was meant to prevent kids from using drugs, but actually resulted in kids being more likely to use drugs, through a combination of teaching them more about drugs and making them seem taboo and tantalizing. It also sensationalized the consequences, a lot of Americans remember being told "If you use drugs even once, you'll die!" which is obviously not true, so then the program lost all credibility in their minds. The way this is… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/03/25 01:11 PM |
| 2 | I think right wing movements around the world are a response to anti-male rhetoric over the last few decadesHonestly, when man vs bear happened, I remember telling my partner that I was worried that Trump was going to win because it felt very similar to the gender wars in 2016. I said it specifically felt very similar to the "poisoned candy" metaphor that the left stole from the racists, and sure enough, the same people started posting that like two weeks later. Part of me suspects that man vs bear was created by a right wing think tank to split the left on gender wars so Trump could win. Years ago a … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/25 02:42 AM |
| 7 | I think right wing movements around the world are a response to anti-male rhetoric over the last few decadesI'm a different commenter, but I think I can offer some helpful input here. I think a really good example is the difference between "internalized misogyny" versus "toxic masculinity." When a woman does something sexist, it's labeled as "internalized misogyny." Society has flawed values, and she has internalized those flawed values in an attempt to fit in. She's not an inherently bad person, she's just doing her best to try to get by in a bad situation, there's a degree of sympathy there. When a … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/25 02:19 AM |
| 5 | I think right wing movements around the world are a response to anti-male rhetoric over the last few decadesThis is exactly why every left/right crossover space I've seen ends up dominated by the right. The left-wing participants always insist on some sort of anti-generalization rules, thinking that they'll catch the right-wing participants being racist and sexist all over the place. But they always end up catching themselves instead, because the right-wing is very used to having to talk around these sorts of rules, while the left-wing is used to their generalizations being okay. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/25 02:02 AM |
| 5 | “Women may have it easier in dating, but that’s not the most important thing” - yes it is.I have a question - why don’t men put more efforts into creating to creating and maintain platonic relationships with other people? Familial bonds and friendships are fulfilling, and they usually do increase one’s quality of life. Every single human being starts out trying to do this as a child. But relationships are a two way street, they require both people to agree to the relationship. When people stop trying to connect despite being lonely, it is always because too many of their attempts wer… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/25 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Do you ever have the urge to push back against hatred directed at men who think their position in dating suck?I think what's happening here is a gender flipped version of the man vs bear argument. It's undeniably true that there are some number of man-hating sex-negative extremist feminists who believe that any action taken by a man is inherently predatory. It's also undeniably true that those are not the majority of women. The important questions are how many, and what to do about it? If you approach a woman, and she turns out to be one of the lunatics, she's going to perceive you as a predator no matt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/25 01:26 PM |
| 3 | This community needs to open up to the idea feminism to at least some degree.I'm just saying we'll be able to get a lot more done if we eliminate the scorn that feminists and a majority of the left feels for us. We could get a lot more done if they didn't feel such scorn for us, you're right about that. But we don't control that, they do. There is nothing we can do to control the amount of scorn that they feel in their heads. Sometimes, you can influence other people's feelings through your actions. This is not one of those cases. This subreddit often contrasts itself ag… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/03/25 02:04 PM |
| 9 | This community needs to open up to the idea feminism to at least some degree.I'd even be okay with them continuing to use toxic masculinity if they also recognized things like excessive passivity and cry bullying as toxic femininity. My objection isn't people's bad behavior being labeled as toxic, my objection is that they only do that for men. When women behave badly it's not toxic femininity, it's internalized misogyny. They're poor victims who have been treated so badly that they have no choice but to treat others badly. There's a famous saying: Conservatism consists … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/03/25 01:46 PM |
| 5 | Practically speaking, men need to focus more on elaborating the difficulties we are facing and stop hating on other groups of people, even if the hatred is well-justifiedI mostly agree with this, with some modifications. You're absolutely right that feminism is the elephant in the room. Feminism is so large that all of our advocacy strategies must be crafted with feminism in mind. It's very similar to an individual citizen trying to sue a large corporation, we will never win a direct battle of attrition. The only viable strategy is to build presence without going directly against feminism whenever possible, and we should only directly confront feminism where we … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/03/25 03:05 PM |
| 5 | “Kill all men” and 10 stages of genocideI often see the results of China's one child policy labeled as femicide. Wikipedia says that there were approximately 30 million fewer women than men in the official numbers in 2017. However, Wikipedia also estimates that there have been somewhere around 10-15 million girls born who weren't reported. So the actual difference is more like 15-20 million. In 2017, China's population was about 1.4 billion. Occasionally I see a factoid that in WWII, the Soviet Union lost approximately 20% of their ma… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/03/25 02:21 PM |
| 15 | Women often view toxicity through a male-centric lens, making them less likely to recognize their own toxic behavior.I think this is a valid point, but I think most of the examples are bad. Male toxicity is easy to spot because gender roles that push men toward bold, decisive action mean that male toxicity is usually very active and obvious. Female toxicity is much harder to spot because gender roles push women toward passivity and manipulation, so their toxicity often results in more obvious male toxicity that acts as a lightning rod for punishment and scrutiny. I think the best example of female toxicity is … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 01:44 PM |
| 5 | /r/news having a racist anti Indian crashout over a single story.Almost every non-white race has a stereotype that the men are rapists and/or criminals. The stereotypes about the women are usually that they are exotic and sexy, or that they have "manly" features and aren't sexy. There's a very obvious asymmetry. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/03/25 11:29 AM |
| 2 | I’ll Answer the “Why Don’t Men Read Our Profiles?” Question.You're right, but the problem is that men as a group would all have to coordinate and change their behavior at the same time in order for it to work. If some men change their behavior and some keep swiping on everyone, women will still be absolutely flooded and will keep behaving the same way. The men who changed their behavior will effectively just select themselves out of the game, and nothing will actually get better for anyone. This is kind of the case for all heterosexual dating dynamics. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 07:26 PM |
| 1 | Hello and I have a question.As a general rule of thumb, anything that can be summarized as "men bad" is defined as loosely as possible, and anything that can be summarized as "women bad" is defined so strictly that it cannot exist in our world. Take misogyny versus misandry for example. If you ask them to define misogyny, they usually start out with something like structural bias against women. But a homeless man calling another homeless man weak is also misogyny, because only women are supposed to be weak. The target does… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/02/25 01:21 PM |
| – | The manosphere does not care about men's issues: Trump screws over menThere was a post in LWMA about anti-immigration rhetoric always targeting scary evil brown men. It didn't get much engagement though, I think in large part because the OP wrote like a college student trying to hit a page count. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 04:56 PM |
| 3 | What “Gendering State Deportations And Immigrant Organizing”, monisha das gupta, can tell us about The Lanken Riley Act, the current efforts at mass deportation, and how to properly and effectively stop it.This is a good point. Immigration policy is fundamentally driven by fear of the Other TM. But we don't fear women, Other TM women are seen as either more feminine and attractive (eg: east asian women), or as less feminine and unattractive (eg: black women). We fear Other TM men, who are seen as violent savages and sex pests. So discussions of immigration policy are incomplete if they do not include sexism against men. A couple weeks ago there was a thread here about movies that are accidentally … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/01/25 04:21 PM |
| – | This subreddit gives less attractive men the halo effect and underestimate the importance of personality.The general debate is about priorities. Good looks/good personality will do well no matter which is more important. Bad looks/bad personality will do poorly no matter which is more important. Neither reveals anything about priorities. Good looks/bad personality versus bad looks/good personality actually reveals something about which is more important. So those are the cases that are most interesting to discuss. That's why the debate is always hot assholes versus ugly nice guys. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 03:09 PM |
| 4 | We know men are demonized for objectifying women. But yet men are still encourage to objectify women though. (Paradox)I've posted a few times about my own mental model of male sexuality being treated like electricity in a circuit, and I think that resolves this apparent paradox. Nature does not like high electrical charges, it wants everything to be neutral. If you separate electrons from protons, the electrons will try to move back to the protons to even things out. If you put obstacles in their way, you can force them to do work along the way. The higher the charge (voltage), the more resistance you can put i… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/01/25 04:33 PM |
| 2 | Is "Wicked" another piece of media that's accidentally pro-male?I think "accidentally pro-male" is a good way to put it. I think Wicked and Zootopia were both meant to be about race. But the old "savage black men want to rape white women" propaganda isn't that far off from the "violent men want to rape women" demonization that we see today. So media about one translates fairly well to the other, because the prejudices are more similar than people expect. I think the biggest difference between the prejudices is that men used to be presumed competent, though t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/01/25 04:09 PM |
| 1 | List of OrganizationsThe Movember foundation is fairly well known, though I don't know if it's quite what you're looking for here. Also, there's the American Institute for Boys and Men, though this sub has its disagreements with Richard Reeves. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/01/25 12:04 PM |
| 1 | The hatred for both male celibacy and men use of porn is a Venn diagram. And that is because society hates male neutrality towards women more than anything.Because feminism changed the game for women. They haven't fully won, a lot of people look down on the body positivity movement. But women have won a lot more freedom from their gender roles than men have. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/25 07:05 PM |
| 8 | What are you views on ex.patriarch?It's a core principle of what the left should be, of what it claims to be. But they often fail to apply it consistently, you're absolutely right about that. I think the issue is much bigger than just feminism though. Karmaze often calls out the oppressor/oppressed dichotomy, and I think that's the root of it. It's absolutely true that some groups are subjected to more societal failures than others. But "this group is subjected to fewer societal failures" gets flanderized into "it's impossible fo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/01/25 03:41 PM |
| 26 | What are you views on ex.patriarch?One of my core beliefs is that if millions of people have the same problem, it cannot possibly be a matter of individual accountability. The society they live in set them up for failure. Sure, some of the steps to recover can only be taken by that individual. But the root problem is at a societal level, and it needs to be solved at a societal level. Everyone who excuses it by trying to make it all a matter of individual accountability is culpable for pushing another generation into the same trap… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/01/25 12:28 AM |
| 8 | The problem with "raising awareness"Once we have awareness, what are we going to do with it? When we're satisfied that we've reached a critical mass of attention, what actions are we going to take to improve men's lives? Whatever the answer to that question is, we need to start taking those actions now. When you're building an organization, you need to know what it is about, and you need to do those things the entire time you're scaling up. Otherwise, people get whiplash when you suddenly switch to action mode, and a lot of them l… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/01/25 01:54 PM |
| 5 | Hating men is fundamentally a conservative attitudeI love that the list of notable examples has Instagram knitting groups between the French Revolution and Stalin | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/01/25 08:17 PM |
| 22 | The hypocrisy of "derailings"There's also the matter of selection bias. They say men never have these conversations in male-focused spaces, but we are right now. They don't see it because they aren't active in these spaces. The only time they see it is in female-focused spaces, because those are the only spaces they're in. They can never see men having these conversations in a way they would deem appropriate, because they're not there to see it. They can never see evidence to contradict their false assertion. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/12/24 03:34 AM |
| 19 | The hatred for both male celibacy and men use of porn is a Venn diagram. And that is because society hates male neutrality towards women more than anything.My personal theory is that until feminism, the core economic engine of society was making men need women, then making women hard for them to get, in order to extract work from them along the way. People have noted that slut shaming feels like a cartel artificially restricting supply in order to raise prices, and they're absolutely onto something. "No sex before marriage" plus "an engagement ring should cost several months pay" combine to form an obvious paywall to be allowed to have sex. Encoura… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/12/24 03:50 PM |
| 1 | How open is this sub to working with feminists?And you know that it's MERFism because they literally view trans-identified females as oppressed as well. Do they? Usually I see them treat transwomen as evil men trying to infiltrate female spaces, and transmen as traitors who defected to the other side rather than fighting the good fight. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/12/24 01:40 PM |
| 31 | DID I JUST GET RED PILLED?It's honestly pathetic how far behind the mainstream is in regards to anything to do with men. Feminists rave about The Will to Change like it was a religious experience and bell hooks was some kind of man prophet. Her secret? Ask men about their experiences and listen in good faith. The revelation? Men aren't coddled by patriarchy, and in fact men feel pain and experience problems too. I'm not even joking. Something that basic was published in 2004. It was treated like a religious experience be… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/12/24 01:38 PM |
| 10 | How open is this sub to working with feminists?That makes sense now. That sounds pretty similar to my objection to the concept of punching up. If victimhood is an excuse to get away with shitty behavior, then people are going to rush to claim victimhood any time someone calls them out on their shitty behavior. If shitty behavior is punished equally no matter who does it, there's no incentive to claim victimhood to escape punishment. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/12/24 04:53 PM |
| 4 | How open is this sub to working with feminists?Could you elaborate on what you mean by exploiting the identity? My mind immediately jumps to bathrooms and sports, and I'm pretty sure that's not what you meant from how you talk about TERFs. My next thought is people claiming to be trans for the sake of diversity quotas, but that sound like gatekeeping or like means-testing benefits. I'm generally against that because it usually excludes the people it's meant to help more than the imposters. I don't mean this in a leftist circular firing squad… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/12/24 03:52 PM |
| 18 | How open is this sub to working with feminists?The question to ask about whataboutism is whether it's really whataboutism or if it's actually selection bias instead. I mean that in two senses. Accusations of whataboutism almost always looks something like "Why do men only bring up male victims in conversations about female victims? Why don't they talk about male victims in their own spaces?" How many of the people asking that ever venture into the men's spaces where they say those conversations should be happening, like you're doing now? How… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/12/24 03:31 PM |
| 41 | How open is this sub to working with feminists?The left is usually terrible at naming things, but TERF is a pretty accurate label. They really are just Radical Feminists who think that trans people should be lumped in with male oppressors rather than oppressed women. The hate was already there, it's just a disagreement about who it should be directed at. The derogatory label wasn't saying "you shouldn't hate people", it was saying "check your targets." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/12/24 02:37 PM |
| 4 | Emotional mutilationThis is why I've always hated the "do you want a fucking cookie" style rhetoric. When your gender role is being given less agency than what you're actually capable of, you can start doing things that you're capable of and prove people wrong. You have the power to forcibly change people's perception of you. It's certainly not easy, but it's possible. When your gender role is being given more agency than what you're actually capable of, your only option is to surrender control to others and hope t… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/12/24 08:28 PM |
| 6 | Emotional mutilationIt should definitely be mandatory reading for feminists, and for anyone who isn't very aware of gender issues. If you're already involved in gender discussions on the men's issues side, I don't think there's much to gain from it. The secret sauce is that hooks asked men about their experiences, then listened and took them at face value, instead of dismissing them as some kind of manipulative ploy for sympathy. I don't remember her reporting anything that you couldn't find in a few hours of skimm… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/12/24 12:19 PM |
| 23 | The Moral Failures of "Punching Up"Punching up is inherently an admission that you are behaving badly, because punching is bad, but claiming that your bad behavior doesn't matter because you are too weak to do damage. Usually it's based in an appeal to popularity. Punching down is terrible because so many people are doing it, the people at the bottom are getting punched a lot. Punching up is less bad because fewer people are doing it, so the people at the top aren't getting punched very much. However, if you're going to claim "pu… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/12/24 01:00 PM |
| 10 | How can we mitigate the current political divide between Young Men and Women; except not misandristic in content.because women are already the designated oppressed group and men can't also be oppressed because then who is oppressing women? Sometimes I wonder how different the world would be if we treated "rich men" as a separate gender from "poor men". That way, these people could conceive of it as rich men oppressing both poor men and women. It would be great if they could figure it out on their own, but nuance is scary. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/11/24 02:04 PM |
| 14 | As leftist neurodivergent men, do you feel unwelcomed in leftist spaces or rejected in dating even with your best foot forward?I absolutely relate to all of this. A huge number of women on the left have a lot of strong negative emotions toward men. The men whose actions cause those negative emotions are very inaccessible, because they are protected by bubbles of privilege. To go to an extreme example, it doesn't matter how mad you are at Donald Trump or Elon Musk, you almost certainly can't vent that rage directly at them in any meaningful way. So when they want to vent that at men, they have to vent it at the men that … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/11/24 03:37 PM |
| 3 | Fascinating article on male childlessness. Poor men the least likely group to have children in society aka social infertilityThis should create pressure on men as a group to acquire resources Combine that with only certain activities rewarding you with resources, and you have a strong pressure for men to perform those specific activities or be left behind. A strong enough incentive structure can be a form of coercion and exploitation. Gender roles are so intertwined with economic issues, through pregnancy and childcare, that I think it will require some form of UBI to take off enough economic pressure to eliminate the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/11/24 03:54 PM |
| 11 | Worries that the election and subsequent results will continue to drive the divide and double standards of men and women even further.I've been seeing a lot of posts from black women comparing white women to the bear. I think there's an opportunity for them to realize how alienating that sort of rhetoric is and make a change for the better, now that white women are feeling the sting. I think our best tactic right now is to signal boost that and make white women feel that pain, and make sure the parallel to how they treat men is explicit and obvious. If they don't want to be compared to the bear, they need to stop comparing men… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/11/24 12:30 PM |
| 42 | Wellness check: how're you coping with the fallout?I'm seeing a lot of black women saying that they're picking the bear over white women too, because more than half of white women voted red. I have to admit that I'm getting a cathartic sort of joy out of that. The same women who shit on us for saying "not all men" and asking "is there anything I can do to prove that I'm not one of them" are saying "not all white women" and making blue friendship bracelets that the red hats are already copying. There's a real opportunity for empathy and growth he… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/11/24 11:59 AM |
| 6 | The Democratic party had a strong coalition of working class males who gladly called themselves Bernie Bros. They threw them away.Trump and the Republicans are authoritarian right. The identity politics crowd is authoritarian left, they want a turn with the boots. The down arrow people want to get rid of the boots. If they lose to the authoritarian right, the boots are still there, maybe they'll get a turn with them next time. If they ally with us, they have to give up on the boots. Many can't swallow that. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/11/24 05:37 PM |
| 1 | Good article on anti-male sentiment on the leftHonestly, reading this article really reminded me of The Will to Change. Feminist subreddits talk about bell hooks like she was some kind of man-whisperer, who was handed a divine revelation about men. Her secret? "What if we asked men about their feelings and experiences, and then listened in good faith instead of shutting them down?" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/11/24 04:54 PM |
| 1 | Predicate Coalition Building On The Left, Rather Than Categorical And IntersectionalThe more I think about it, the more I like this approach, though I think I would suggest a slight reframe of your reframe. People like stories, and this approach is about identifying common stories to bond people together. Democrats shouldn't be the party of women, people of color, and LGBTQ people, a bunch of dissimilar coalitions stapled together. Democrats should be the party of people who don't have a home or family because they were born the "wrong" way. They should be the party of the Cass… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/11/24 03:55 PM |
| 6 | Predicate Coalition Building On The Left, Rather Than Categorical And IntersectionalI think this makes sense. Instead of framing issues first in terms of the identities of the people affected and identities of the people enforcing them, frame them first in terms of the level at which they are enforced. To take a specific example, gay and trans teenagers are often afraid to come out because they'll be kicked out by conservative parents. Instead of being framed as an LGBTQ issue enforced at the family level, I think you're arguing that it should be framed as a family issue that d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/11/24 02:23 PM |
| 23 | Question for the men, who do you think is going to start men advocacy centers and fight on behalf of men?When it first started I had high hopes for MensLib. They started out doing regular charity drives to combat the perception that men's groups complain but don't take any action. They only raised like $100 each time, but it was something. But they stopped doing that, and they started banning pretty much anything that isn't self-flagellation. Even still, I see plenty of complaints in feminist subreddits that it somehow isn't feminist enough. LeftWingMaleAdvocates is the best I've seen so far. They … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/11/24 07:26 PM |
| 4 | Dr K on female bullying/nasty behaviorThey were able to get away without hedging to be seen as reasonable because the issues they were fighting were so blatantly obvious. Laws explicitly excluded women from politics and much of the economy, that's pretty cut and dried. Now, they don't have to hedge to be seen as reasonable because they're the incumbent. Our issues aren't as obvious, so we have to be seen as more reasonable than the incumbent to gain any ground. The cycle of petty revenge has to stop somewhere, and society at large s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/10/24 02:49 PM |
| 11 | I feel like feminism is fighting men in a way that men are weak to.You're absolutely right, each sex has a weakness to keep them easily exploitable. Women are physically weaker than men, so there is no need to intentionally build in a weakness, the threat of physical violence is enough. Men don't have an obvious natural weakness, so society had to create one by deliberately not teaching them how to recognize and combat relational aggression, so that it could be wielded against them to keep them in line. All of the motte and bailey games are examples of this typ… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 22/10/24 02:11 PM |
| 3 | “Toxic masculinity” is real, but the term used for what it refers to is harmfulOne alternative I've seen lately that I like is "restrictive masculinity". I think it does a good job of conveying the idea that the problem is restrictive ideas about what masculinity is allowed to be, but it's harder to spin into a pejorative. "Definitions of masculinity are toxic" versus "men are toxic" is a very easy motte and bailey pair to maintain. If you substitute directly, "definitions of masculinity are toxic" versus "men are restrictive" doesn't work as well. You can take toxic direc… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/10/24 05:23 PM |
| 8 | “Toxic masculinity” is real, but the term used for what it refers to is harmfulBy "fempopulist chivalry", you mean the He For She style "men need to solve their own problems, but also solve women's problems", correct? If so, I really like that term. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/10/24 05:13 PM |
| 9 | “Toxic masculinity” is real, but the term used for what it refers to is harmfulEvery stereotype that one group is more X inherently has an implied "compared to other groups" attached. With gender stereotypes, the other group is the other gender, because trans, nonbinary, and intersex people simply aren't numerous enough to be a counterweight. So it's always possible to reframe any stereotype to be about whichever gender you prefer. Women are more negative trait? Take it at face value = plain misogyny Men are more positive trait? Flip it to the implied "women are more negat… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/10/24 05:11 PM |
| 21 | People always use pride as a scapegoat for why men struggle. This is so disingenuous.Every group has some people who do a lot of talking and posturing, and very little actual work, and some people who do a lot of work and very little talking. And because talking is easier than doing, the talkers typically outnumber the doers. Because they are so intertwined with morality, social justice movements have a particularly toxic flavor of this split. The talkers are very concerned with being perceived as morally superior at all costs. The doers are more willing to confront nuance in th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/10/24 04:12 PM |
| 0 | The future, not men, is the beneficiary of patriarchy - and we are all oppressed for itIn this case, patriarchy bars men from emotionally and physically intimate relationships because making relationships with other men completely fulfilling is antithetical to the aims of patriarchy - masculinity is made to be a cage of alienation from intimate connection so that 'Woman' can be presented as the ultimate object of desire, the reward for suffering through masculinity being the affection of a woman who will care for your physical and emotional needs. I've posted this in other threads… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/10/24 11:43 PM |
| 5 | The future, not men, is the beneficiary of patriarchy - and we are all oppressed for itIf we cannot have a theory of men's oppression under patriarchy, we cannot have a theory of men's liberation from it. I love this. It's amazing to me how often they can say "patriarchy hurts men too" without internalizing or understanding it at all. Lately I've started seeing articles about people weaponizing "therapy speak", things like using "gaslighting" to refer to just regular lying, and saying they're asserting a boundary when trying to control someone else's behavior. I can't help but not… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/10/24 07:54 PM |
| 6 | Has anybody had a chance to analyze the "Misandry Myth" study?In addition to the other replies, I would also argue that this study was measuring the wrong thing. When people say that feminists are misandrists, I think what they really mean is that a large amount of feminist rhetoric is misandrist. For any group, most rhetoric comes from a vocal minority of people with the most extreme opinions. The rest of the group is less extremist, but doesn't speak very much, the silent majority. By surveying the people, the design of this study effectively allows the … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/10/24 02:35 PM |
| 12 | "Men also face issues, but..."I sometimes see the terms hypoagency in the case of women and hyperagency in the case of men. There's also DARVO - deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. Are either of those what you're looking for? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/10/24 02:18 PM |
| 25 | "Men also face issues, but..."Since feminists always need to tie men's issues back to how they affect women, I genuinely believe that this is a large part of why men's support for women's issues is limited. For example, arguments in favor of bodily autonomy fall pretty flat when you and millions of your peers had a large chunk of your nervous system amputated for cosmetic purposes. When the state reserves the right to send you overseas and riddle your body with bullets in order to keep gas prices down, and the strongest coun… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/10/24 01:18 PM |
| 7 | Rape Culture Affects Men & Boys More Than Anyone ElseThe first definition I see in google for rape culture is a society or environment whose prevailing social attitudes have the effect of normalizing or trivializing sexual assault and abuse. Under this definition, I can't imagine any way to deny that it affects men even more than it affects women. If you ask men and women if they have been sexually assaulted or abused, far more women than men will say that they have. If you ask men and women if they have experienced behaviors that would be assault… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/10/24 02:59 PM |
| 2 | Most people who say this would prefer the issue of male SA victims to never come up at allTheir problem is even more basic than that, they don't understand selection bias. They tell men to create their own spaces to talk about male victims instead of doing it in feminist spaces, but they never go to those male spaces, they stay in the feminist spaces. So they never see the conversations about male victims in male spaces, they only see the ones in feminist spaces. By definition, it will always appear to them that men only talk about male victims in feminist spaces, because they've eli… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/09/24 01:54 PM |
| 4 | How Misandry and Misogyny inform Trans Misandry and Trans MisogynyI see it relatively often in r/CuratedTumblr, but that's the only other place I've seen this sort of take with any frequency. It's honestly my second favorite subreddit for gender discussions after this one. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/09/24 11:03 AM |
| 12 | Asocial men and the rejection of male gender roles are linked somehow. Since society has a strong aversion for men who don't adhere to traditional masculinity. And Asocial men are a example of that.Batteries separate protons and electrons, the electrons want to get back to the protons, and when we put batteries in circuits we extract work from electrons trying to close the gap. I think gender roles are the same thing for people. Gender roles create artificial distance between the genders, and prescribe specific paths for closing that distance that inevitably involve creating value for society. Women are like protons in this model, and men are like electrons. Women are prizes to be earned, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/08/24 11:24 PM |
| 5 | K Harris perpetuates the '80 cents on the dollar' hoaxIt sure would be great if any of the feminists who celebrated Claudia Goldin winning the Nobel Prize in economics actually read any of her work. The entire point of her work was that the gap wasn't for equal work, but that the source of the gap was inequality in the work. If you want to close the gap, you have to equalize the work. Equal number of hours worked, in the same roles, with the same benefits. It's kind of amazing that they keep shooting themselves in the foot with this after celebrati… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 15/08/24 11:54 PM |
| 1 | Hey guys! Feminist here! I was gonna ask for help on something!I don't recommend it because I was impressed by it, because I wasn't. I recommend it because I've seen so many feminists act like reading it was a life changing experience. The revolutionary insight is than men are people capable of feeling pain and having problems, you just need to have good-faith conversations with them. But it sounds like OP's sister needs to have that revelation. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/24 10:08 PM |
| 2 | Hey guys! Feminist here! I was gonna ask for help on something!If you haven't already I would recommend reading some bell hooks, particularly The Will to Change, and then pass it to her. If you want to convince someone who identifies as feminist that they should care about men and men's problems, that seems to be the definitive text. Every time I see it mentioned in a feminist subreddit, they talk about it like it was some kind of divine revelation. I wasn't impressed because you could glean 95% of the insight about male experiences from an hour in a male-c… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/24 07:02 PM |
| 18 | "The Will To Change" - a couple of thoughtsI recently read it, and I agree with her about the problems, but I disagree about the solution. I think she did a great job of identifying the problems. It was the first time I read something written by a feminist about men, and got the sense that she asked men about their problems and actually listened. Most of the time feminists are like "I suppose it's theoretically possible for women to shut down men's emotions, but in practice it's always men shutting down men's emotions, so it's still men'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/07/24 01:50 PM |
| 15 | Why Men Enter And Exit The ‘Manosphere’—By A (Male) PsychologistThe second mouse gets the cheese, and a lot of the men in the manosphere were the first mouse. Feminism said the world would be a better place if they changed, they changed, and they were met with "do you want a fucking cookie?" and being called entitled. If both sides are going to shit on them, is it any surprise that many turn to the side that offers some perks in exchange? I'm always amazed at how quickly The Will to Change comes up in any feminist discussion of men's issues, because having r… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/07/24 02:39 PM |
| 5 | "Misandry goes away when you get off the Internet, but not misogyny"If I had the godlike power to make everyone on the planet understand one concept, it would be selection bias. If you're arguing with someone on the internet about misandry, and you ask them for examples, they're going to reach for the most easily accessible ones. The most easily accessible examples for someone who argues on the internet are going to be on the internet. That doesn't mean that all examples are on the internet, just the ones they reach for. Also, one could make the same incorrect a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/06/24 12:30 PM |
| 2 | Gender Issues Are Better Understood As Transitory Issues Of HistoryI find it difficult to follow your writing, but I think I agree with a lot of this. Societies go through natural selection by competing with each other, just like organisms do, and gender norms are part of their genetic code. The agricultural revolution was thousands of years ago, the industrial revolution was a couple hundred years ago, and the computer revolution was only a few decades ago. So our gender norms are overwhelmingly shaped by agriculture, with much less influence from industry and… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/06/24 11:23 PM |
| 15 | Toxic masculinity and violenceI have two beliefs along these lines that make most of the mainstream gender rhetoric frustrating for me. One, that society is closer to "a thing that evolved to be the way it is" than "a thing that was designed the way it is". As you pointed out, societies with toxic masculinity outcompeted societies with more healthy masculinity. If you want to get rid of toxic masculinity, you have to understand the selective pressure that created it, and get rid of that. Two, that the same thing is basically… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/24 06:41 PM |
| 2 | Men put WAY too much stock on trying to get women.I'm 90% of the way through The Will to Change right now, and I'm honestly not sure how I feel about it. I'm kinda torn. On one hand, it's so refreshing to read something written by a female feminist about men's experiences who actually bothered to talk to men first, and listened to their experiences. So much of what women write about men feels only marginally better than "she breasted boobily toward the stairs, then titted downward" level understanding of the opposite sex. On the other hand, she… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/24 01:37 AM |
| 1 | Single women are happier... Whats your perspective on this?My perspective is "well duh," but not for the same reason as them. I would draw a comparison to Harry Harlow's (flagrantly unethical) monkey studies. His most famous one showed that baby monkeys preferred a cloth surrogate mother over a wireframe with a milk bottle. There was a variation where one group had a cloth mother with a milk bottle, and the other group only had a wireframe with a milk bottle, and he saw that the cloth mother group was significantly healthier than the wire mother group. … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/06/24 12:03 PM |
| 15 | If we could talk about our stories, would it be way more commonI think a big part of the problem is that a lot of guys don't have the vocabulary to share their stories in a way that other people get. I've noticed that a lot of men refer to any sort of relationship problems as having a crazy ex. Those problems can be physical abuse, emotional abuse, or something as mundane as having incompatible needs in a relationship. I think the common term, plus the last group watering down its usage, results in a lot of people dismissing cases of literal abuse as "just … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/06/24 11:37 AM |
| 2 | Men thinking they are tough or brave isn't viewed as toxic masculinity by most of society for the most part. But it should be viewed as toxic masculinity though.I recently saw a post, I don't remember where, that argued in favor of "restrictive masculinity". I like thst much better, because the problem is other people forcing men into a box, and I think restrictive properly puts the focus on that. Toxic makes it too easy for people to say "Men just need to stop choosing to be toxic" without any regard for why men behave the way they do. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/06/24 01:36 AM |
| 6 | what are your thoughts on transbros in men's advocacy: [only men/amab answer the poll please]Trans men are welcome in my mind. People who treat men like shit also treat them like shit, often in very similar ways. Most of the issues they don't have in common with us, they either have in common with women (and can be addressed by feminists) or with trans women (and can be addressed by trans movements). So we can help more people without having to split our focus much. For that matter, I think trans women should be welcome too, because they also catch a lot of the same shit. The people who… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/06/24 12:50 PM |
| 3 | what are your thoughts on transbros in men's advocacy: [only men/amab answer the poll please]A while ago, I saw a post where someone suggested that boy and girl should be thought of as separate genders from man and woman. Most people transition from boy to man or from girl to woman, but some people transition from boy to woman or girl to man. I think they saw that same post, or were thinking along very similar lines, but left out that context. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/06/24 12:28 PM |
| 12 | what are your thoughts on transbros in men's advocacy: [only men/amab answer the poll please]Which is ironically a little bit transphobic. They give trans men a pass because they think of them as "men lite", which is denying their identity. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/06/24 12:20 PM |
| 2 | Trying to understand this a bit myself but from a more holistic perspective why would a man on the top rather either add hurdles to a man on the bottom of hierarchy or worse, be completely apathetic to his hardships and turmoils?That's not quite what I was thinking. The average man striving for greatness is more of a modern development, and most of our gender roles are pretty old. I think it's more accurate to model gender roles as things that evolve through selective pressure, rather than things that are consciously created. Most of our modern gender roles evolved in the agrarian societies that existed between the agricultural and industrial revolutions. In those societies, economic output was determined by the amount … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/24 02:20 PM |
| 10 | Trying to understand this a bit myself but from a more holistic perspective why would a man on the top rather either add hurdles to a man on the bottom of hierarchy or worse, be completely apathetic to his hardships and turmoils?In my opinion, a huge number of gender roles make the most sense when you start from "upper class men exploit lower class men for labor and resources, women exist to make more men to exploit." I think that oversimplification has much more predictive power than "men think femininity is gross and want nothing to do with it." People bond over common experiences and activities. People who have struggled with the same problem can bond over helping each other with that problem. People who have shared … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/06/24 04:08 PM |
| 24 | Throwing Men under the BusI'm reading through bell hook's The Will to Change right now, because every time men's issues come up in a feminist subreddit people start recommending it, and I was curious. I can say it's pretty obvious that most of the people recommending it either didn't read it, or they completely missed the point. I'm halfway through and so far the message I'm getting is: "Patriarchy doesn't love or cherish men, it withholds love from them to turn them into tools and weapons with which to propagate itself.… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/24 06:51 PM |
| 8 | I keep hearing people say that men are generally only allowed to express anger, but in my life I’ve never even seen that allowed.I usually see women saying this, and I think they say it because male anger gets a different reaction than female anger. Angry women are frequently either dismissed as irrational or confronted head on, people aren't afraid to tell an angry woman that she's wrong. People are much more afraid of an angry man, and are much more likely to give him a wide berth instead. The perception of the woman watching this is that people are allowing him to be angry in a way that they don't allow her to be angry… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/05/24 01:53 PM |
| 12 | "Men are the problem"I think men are currently expected to be soldiers, but not violent. Stoic, but not a wall. Emotional, but not vulnerable. You're absolutely right about this. All of the "toxic masculinity" behaviors that get projected outward are the natural consequences of dehumanizing men and treating us like weapons and tools. But western society is founded upon treating men as weapons and tools, it's not easy to give up. So instead they demand that men fix other men's issues, so they can continue to treat me… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/05/24 04:44 PM |
| 1 | How can we actually properly talk about men's issues?I think the core problem is that the western male gender role can never export their problems. Men need to solve their problems on their own, then start solving other people's problems, in order to be considered real men. If a man shares his problems with others, then he's a failure. It's obvious that this causes most of men's issues, but the convenience of being able to treat men like machines who solve problems but never have any is hard to give up. Large parts of the left have found a way to … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/24 05:24 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone got full access to this study?Statistically ignorant question, would the confidence interval be the same size for every question, or would it be different for each one? Would each question vary about 1.4% each way, or does it vary per question? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/05/24 05:37 PM |
| 23 | This chart written on by a feminist activist on male domestic violence is about what I have come to expectWhat decade was this written? Even when women earn salaries, social norms dictate that their wages be controlled by their husbands. That hasn't been true in the US since before I was born. I've seen easily 100x more "her money is her money, his money is our money" in my lifetime. This entire thing is a disingenuous "have your cake and eat it too" mix of violence only counts if you have a brute strength advantage over your partner, but literally any action can count as violent if you have that ad… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/05/24 07:05 PM |
| 28 | Sex-selective IVF apparently favors girls in the USI saw: One study found that white parents picked female embryos 70 percent of the time. (Parents of Indian and Chinese descent were more likely to pick boys.) though the abstract of the study they linked to says: ...in general, there is no deviation in preference towards any specific gender except for a preference of males in some ethnic populations of Chinese, Indian and Middle Eastern origin that represent a small percentage of the US population. I can't access the full paper, but a 70 percent… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/05/24 10:11 PM |
| 9 | Society still has a weird reaction towards men that are introverted, serious, or aloof. Despite being very critical of men that are the opposite.I think there's a simple answer, and a more complex answer. The simple answer humans are a social species, so any threat to group dynamics is a threat to survival. I don't find that satisfying though, because introverted women aren't treated the same way as introverted men. The more complex answer is that most of our gender roles still come from the agrarian days, and they haven't fully caught up to the industrial or computer revolutions yet. In the agrarian days, the economy was driven by manpo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/24 03:12 PM |
| 1 | Very few if any men fit this weird definition women rattle off of “thinking women owe them sex”My personal experience has been the opposite. The most egregious examples of people being confidently incorrect about the opposite sex tend to be from men, but the most egregious examples of people being confidently incorrect about every other subject also come from men, so sex isn't an outlier there. I think women tend to believe that they understand men, because they've spent decades consuming media produced by men, and they think that gives them the full picture. Men know they don't understan… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/24 07:55 PM |
| 16 | Man Bear MegathreadAt the risk of Godwin's Law, it goes back at least as far as the Nazis. There was a Nazi children's book (Der Giftpilz) that compared jews to mushrooms, some of which are poisonous. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/05/24 03:18 PM |
| 5 | The wonderful people on blatantmisogyny are calling one of your threads "misogyny"The racists were using the poisoned M&M meme first. It came from a Nazi children's book called Der Giftpilz which compared jews to mushrooms | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/05/24 12:56 PM |
| 6 | The absolute state that is r/menslibbI liked the sub in the very earliest days, back when it was only like 1000 subscribers, and they would do a fundraiser for a men's charity every month or so. One of the biggest complaints about other men's groups at the time was that they didn't do anything because they said they had to raise awareness first, so it was nice to see one with action baked in from the very beginning, even if they only raised $100 or so. They stopped doing that pretty quickly though. That and this ban were the two re… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/04/24 07:19 PM |
| 3 | Male behavior is both encourage and demonize at the same time by society.I guess I included that in one of my deleted drafts, but you're absolutely right. Women need to present a united front of waiting for men to make the first move and demanding a high price from men. Anything else provides a path of least resistance that allows men to get away with not being as useful, and must be shamed. Women having their own agency also makes it harder to hand them out as prizes to men who do jump through all of the hoops. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/04/24 12:43 PM |
| 6 | Am I the only one who thinks the talk of toxic masculinity is nothing more than a shit test/manipulation test from society in order for the powers that be to keep looking for things to scrutinize in men?Gender norms are absolutely about shaming and manipulating men into being useful tools and weapons for others. But I think the contradictions come from nobody being sure what is most useful in changing times. In the agrarian days, economic output was driven by capturing land and then working it. We had millennia to figure out what gender roles were most useful for that. The industrial revolution shook things up pretty radically, and we've only had a few centuries to figure out how to best shame … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/04/24 03:19 PM |
| 15 | Male behavior is both encourage and demonize at the same time by society.My personal theory is that most forms of sexism are in large part about modulating men's access to women in order to extract work from them. For instance, I think the relatively recent norm that men aren't allowed to feel emotions outside of a relationship with a woman is meant to make men desperate enough to do nearly anything for a relationship with a woman. This desperation makes them easy to exploit. The most obvious form of this exploitation is "buy this to have better luck with women." Axe… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/04/24 07:09 PM |
| 11 | How Society is Pushing Men Toward Toxic Conservative Values and How AWDTSG is Accelerating ItYou're exactly right. Conservatism is very interested in helping men become weapons and/or providers, and that's about it. If you can't be sent to another country to secure oil, and you can't support an entire family by yourself, conservatives don't care about you at all. The idea that men don't need support because patriarchy is already supporting them is absurd. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/04/24 07:48 PM |
| 3 | The entire “if a girl is really into you, you’ll know and there is nothing that can dissuade her” narrative really needs to die already. This is completely false, and is misleading generations of men.I've had two women stick their tongues in my mouth before even asking my name or giving me theirs. I've also had a few "How did you not know I was into you? I batted my eyelashes SO MUCH!" conversations. The lesbian sheep problem is a thing that exists. Different people show their interest in different ways, some nearly undetectable. You can't make guarantees about other people's behavior, all you can do is say that you're not interested in/compatible with people who don't show interest in the w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/04/24 03:25 PM |
| 29 | Has anyone noticed a lack of awareness for the male anatomy?Permanent infertility also seems like a particularly terrible side effect for a contraceptive. If you're using contraceptives instead of getting a vasectomy, it's specifically because you want to keep your options open later. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/24 01:54 PM |
| 6 | Has anyone noticed a lack of awareness for the male anatomy?I understand that they always compare the side effects to the condition being prevented in the person taking the medicine, but since male birth control is about preventing a condition in someone else, I wish regulators would take that into account. A male option with no side effects would be ideal, but even an option with side effects similar to women's options would still be an improvement over the status quo. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/03/24 01:50 PM |
| 5 | Lwma youtubersI admittedly haven't seen all of her content, but I can't remember her selling anything. Certainly not selling her own courses, which is what I usually associate with the grifters. As far as I can tell, she just has empathy and is good at explaining things. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/03/24 01:56 AM |
| 8 | Has anyone else just stopped caring about politics/social justice because of the hypocrisy?Exactly. The privilege framework was taken from race issues and applied to gender, but nobody checked to see if it fits first, and it doesn't. There are no significant downsides to being white, cisgender, or heterosexual. There are plenty of significant downsides to being male ("the patriarchy hurts men too"), and there are plenty of upsides to being female (benevolent sexism). Both of those should be pretty obvious clues that a strict one way privilege/oppression model doesn't fit. I'm not terr… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/24 03:07 PM |
| 7 | Are there any examples of restrictions specifically women face specifically because of the bad acts of other women?Playing hard to get. Women who do it or advise others to do it/men to be more persistent in pursuing this particular woman do a disservice for the rest of us. I've thought this for years, but I've never seen anyone else express it. Playing hard to get is effectively eroding the concepts of consent and boundaries to make yourself feel more desirable. The lion's share of the blame still goes to the men who violate boundaries, but I think it's also fair to point some blame at the women who encourag… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/24 01:53 PM |
| -1 | Did anyone else develop a complex about how "scary" they were to women?A huge number of women's problems come from men not listening to women and respecting their boundaries. Men can be ranked on a spectrum in terms of how receptive they are to women's needs, and how likely or unlikely they are to listen to them and respect their boundaries. Women have been steadily increasing the volume of their "no"s, to try to get through to the men who are least likely to listen to them, because those are the men causing the problems. However, that increasing volume has become … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/01/24 03:35 PM |
| 8 | masculinity on the leftAs a short guy, I've also had a lot of taller guys go out of their way to shit on me for no reason. My experience is that guys who are slightly shorter or taller than average are the most likely to start shit, because they have the most opportunity to move up the hierarchy at someone else's expense. If you're shorter than most women or tall enough to play basketball, you're far enough from the center of the bell curve that starting shit isn't going to make a difference. I honestly think being sh… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/24 06:27 PM |
| 18 | as a trans man, how do i fit into male advocacy?I agree with you that trans people have a huge (mostly untapped) potential to be diplomats in the gender wars. Experiencing both sides means you can see blind spots that the rest of us struggle with. I think feminism has done a great job of identifying the areas in which women are hurt, and a solid job of addressing them. I think feminism has done a terrible job of even admitting that it's possible for men to be hurt, and progress on addressing them has been mixed at best. The only ones I can th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/01/24 03:45 PM |
| 7 | Debate : Most People in Dating strategy Subreddits use extreme examples to prove points, and this needs to stop.A lot of people have a bad habit of oversimplifying by rounding statistical correlations to ironclad rules, because rules are a lot easier to think about than statistics. All statistics have unlikely datapoints, but a rule having an exception means that the rule was incomplete or outright wrong. People are especially likely to do this when it affects them personally, because they want their own lives to be predictable and controllable. They round a correlation that affects them negatively to a r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 02:53 PM |
| 6 | Debate : Most People in Dating strategy Subreddits use extreme examples to prove points, and this needs to stop.People want ironclad rules to follow, because those are easy to reason about. You give a specific input and get a specific output. They make the world predictable. But the world is fundamentally unpredictable. When people are involved, the best you can do is statistical correlations. Tall men have better odds. Attractive people have better odds. Socially skilled people have better odds. You can make predictions based on odds, but you'll always get at least a few wrong, there will always be cases… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 02:35 PM |
| 18 | You would think with how hard society negatively obsesses over incels, we could have actually stopped so much time, energy and resources from being wasted and instead invested into some sort of mental health campaign for them and romantically-struggling men in general, instead of scapegoating themThat too. One side says that insecure men aren't real men, the other side acts like insecure men are a logical impossibility because men don't experience problems. So both sides team up to bully them. Nobody ever stops to ask how a man might end up in that position. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/01/24 05:20 PM |
| 55 | You would think with how hard society negatively obsesses over incels, we could have actually stopped so much time, energy and resources from being wasted and instead invested into some sort of mental health campaign for them and romantically-struggling men in general, instead of scapegoating themI honestly think a huge part of it is that it's a more socially acceptable form of ableism. Various forms of neurodivergence are extremely overrepresented in incel communities, especially autism. It's much less acceptable to belittle someone for being autistic than it used to be, but it's perfectly acceptable to belittle someone who happens to struggle with dating and is upset about it. Similarly, I think "nice guys" are a form of justice sensitivity. I often see justice sensitivity being linked… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/01/24 05:01 PM |
| 9 | "Men's Rights" can't coexist either with Feminism or with the "Right-Wing"The left has always been good at shooting itself in the foot, and I think social justice has two of the biggest examples. Shortening "privilege of normalcy" to "privilege" instead of "normalcy." It means that the conversation always starts off on the back foot with an exchange of "Nobody ever gave me free shit!" "But that's not what privilege means in this one specific context." LGBT rights seem to be moving much faster than other movements, and I think a big part of that is because they usually… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/01/24 03:18 PM |
| 6 | Does Any Man Actually Do Better On Dating Apps Than In Real Life?Do you mean that short men do better on apps? My experience is the exact opposite. I did terribly on apps, and according to most of the stats I've seen only about 10-20% of women would even see my profile. I got way more interest in person where I had the opportunity to "make up" for being short. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/23 03:52 PM |
| 11 | How the Left repackaged toxic masculinity and gender rolesYou're absolutely onto something. If I had to describe the old patriarchal male gender role in a single sentence, it would be something like "men are required to solve their own problems, they aren't allowed to be victims." If you bring up male problems in feminist spaces, you will likely be told "men have to solve their own problems, oppressors can't be oppressed." I think they're slightly different, I think the patriarchal norm is "individual men have to solve their own problems" and the femin… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/12/23 07:55 PM |
| 30 | So Tired Of Hearing About The "Patriarchy"I first started paying attention to gender issues about 10 years ago, and back then I saw a few of the more academic feminists pushing to replace the term patriarchy with "kyriarchy", partly because they got so tired of having to dispel misconceptions about patriarchy all the time. I was personally all for it, because it would have dropped a lot of baggage, and made it more clear that the enemy is the social norms that produce inequality and not the people you perceive to be benefiting from them… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/12/23 12:20 PM |
| 3 | Why do people claim that lesbians have it worse than gay men?Which is dumb of them, because the entire point of intersectionalism is that you can't just add them up that way, intersections aren't just the sum of their parts. Like the experience of a gay man in the rural US isn't just the experience of a gay man in Manhattan, but replacing traffic noise with crickets and subways with pickup trucks. The intersection of gay and rural dramatically increases the risk of violence from conservatives. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/12/23 06:23 PM |
| 1 | Trendline established, as of 2023 top 5% responsible for 50% of all sex; sexual loneliness seen as public health concernBy negative emotions, I mean things like fear, sadness, and anger. Men being happy is perfectly acceptable. Women ask men to let out their emotions because they recognize men have a lot of bottled up emotions, and they recognize that that's the root of a lot of men's bad behavior and other issues. They're absolutely right about that part, no complaints about that. But when men do open up to women, the women sometimes react poorly, because they got something they weren't expecting. Sometimes it's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/12/23 01:36 AM |
| 10 | Why do some women object to the stat that women find 80% unattractive, if they also say there aren't enough quality men?Honestly, I feel like a lot of problems would be greatly diminished if straight men had more exposure to the straight female gaze. I almost feel like sex ed should include a collection of male thirst traps most highly rated by straight women, so men get an idea what women are looking for in them, the way women do though the straight male gaze. That would do a lot to help with the "blind leading the blind" problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/12/23 03:16 PM |
| 1 | Trendline established, as of 2023 top 5% responsible for 50% of all sex; sexual loneliness seen as public health concernBecause showing empathy is how you break the cycle that caused the problem in the first place. Patriarchy shames men for showing negative emotions, so men bottle them up and act out in other ways. Feminists recognize that men act out because they bottled up their emotions, and encourage men to let them out instead. Then when men release those negative emotions, feminists shame them for those negative emotions, perpetuating the cycle. If men are going to be shamed either way, is it really surpris… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/12/23 03:03 PM |
| 1 | Trendline established, as of 2023 top 5% responsible for 50% of all sex; sexual loneliness seen as public health concernTo be fair, I think a large part of that is due to a difference in the nature of the problems. Women were denied the agency to do things that they were perfectly capable of doing. So they could say "fuck the rules" and do the things that they were capable of, succeed at them, and prove that the rules were wrong. It wasn't an easy path, but it was a conceptually simple one. When you aren't credited with enough individual agency, you can use your individual agency to change that. Men are given too… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/12/23 02:44 PM |
| 3 | CMV: Most young guys struggle in dating because of the society and time we live in, not because of themselvesI think it belongs to the same category as the wage gap. Unequal pay for equal work has basically been eliminated, as far as anyone can detect, the gap is now a matter of inequality of work. Women climb the ladder more slowly when they have children, prioritize flexibility and benefits over raw salary, and so on. Technically there's no issue, because everyone involved is exercising their right to choose. But not everyone has the same options to choose from, so the choices people make diverge in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/12/23 11:38 PM |
| 6 | When have women ever been the gender more expected to do emotional labor?Hochschild (1983) argues that within this commodification process, service workers are estranged from their own feelings in the workplace. It's crazy to me that they say that one of the primary negative effects of emotional labor is being estranged from your own emotions, invented the term toxic masculinity to describe men being estranged from their emotions and making it other people's problem, then claim that women do more emotional labor. If lobotomizing away your emotions because other peopl… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/12/23 03:13 AM |
| 9 | The "But men do it too" argument, and why it bothers me.There are a lot of people who get into social justice for revenge, rather than making the world a better place. Sometimes I have a hard time believing how many people there are that think punching up is okay. Punching down isn't bad because down is bad, punching down is bad because punching is bad. Punching up is also punching, so it's also bad. Also, what if you're wrong about up and down? You can find plenty of both men and women who believe that their own sex has it objectively worse than the… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/11/23 01:55 PM |
| 13 | The "But men do it too" argument, and why it bothers me.This is why I hate the "prejudice plus power" argument, because the "plus power" part isn't defined consistently. When they do it, it's not a problem because they don't personally have institutional power. When someone else without institutional power does it to them, it's a problem because that individual's prejudice aligns with the institution's prejudice. Never mind that their own prejudice also aligns with the institution's prejudice. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/11/23 01:48 PM |
| – | The thing women don't understand is that there are millions of eligible women out there and a lot of guys can't get ONE (1) girlfriend.Which means, if you were to consider what you could do in order to alleviate that, you just wouldn't try to contact them at all. After all, what would be the point, if you're going to get lost in a sea of other men each trying to get through the gates at once, and you're just going to be written off as "another guy trying to get into her pants"? Why is she going to think you're any different? This is exactly why I maintain that only women can solve the issue of being overwhelmed by male attentio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/23 03:16 PM |
| 9 | Feminism expects men to bend over backwards for empathizing with womens issues while shitting on men, and is then is surprised men double down imto toxic spaces.I've also thought about overlap between feminists and conservatives, but in the opposite direction. Feminists and conservatives tend to disagree vehemently about what women should and shouldn't be allowed to do, but are a lot more likely to agree on the subject of men. For instance, suggest that men should have a right to opt out of parenthood in a feminist subreddit and see how long it takes for them to start unironically using conservative arguments like "should have kept it in his pants." And… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 21/11/23 09:32 PM |
| 5 | Q4M: Who gives better dating advice for women? Single men or Women with boyfriends?I'm not the same person you replied to, but I've always found that people who struggled with something but eventually succeeded give better advice than people who succeeded at it effortlessly. The strugglers had to try a wide variety of things and really understand the problem before they finally achieved success. They've seen a lot of the ways that things can go wrong, and learned to overcome them. They have a much more complete picture than people who succeeded effortlessly on their first try. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/11/23 04:14 AM |
| 2 | Why are there so many of you still struggling even though you make good money and have a successful career ?I do think that gifted men are more likely to struggle with dating, and gifted people definitely do have issues with failing at things, but I don't think fear of failure is the primary reason they struggle with dating. I think it's more like not knowing how to start. Students that are recognized as gifted are given a clear path to success: follow the rules and do well on schoolwork. They are pressured to take that path, they give in to that pressure, and they have the ability to succeed at it. S… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/23 03:35 PM |
| 4 | Why are there so many of you still struggling even though you make good money and have a successful career ?In a lot of the US, especially rural areas, schools are pretty poorly funded. They're often funded through property taxes, and either property values are low, tax rates are low, or there simply aren't that many people, so there isn't that much revenue. A lot of schools get more funding through ticket sales and concessions, so the athletes get a lot of attention because they're keeping the lights on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/23 02:31 PM |
| 7 | Why are there so many of you still struggling even though you make good money and have a successful career ?I think you're exactly right. I think for both sexes, the conflict is that the things that are exciting in the short term lead to instability in the long term. You have to be exciting enough to attract interest and get through the early phases of dating, but excitement also tends to mean drama, and drama is toxic in the long term. I know a few guys who do a great job of generating interest, but struggle to maintain a relationship, because the things that make them interesting usually end up unde… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/23 02:24 PM |
| 1 | Is it over for autistic or socially inept guys, or can they still do something about it? What are the most effective ways they can improve their social skills and personality?I would recommend deliberate practice over random trial and error. Pick a specific thing you want to be better at, try it, and reflect on what you can do better. I often hear good things about groups like Toastmasters as a way to practice your social skills and get feedback so you can do better next time. I've never personally joined one, but I did spend a few years repeatedly presenting to the same group of coworkers, and that leveled up my presentation skills quite a bit, so I can at least vou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/23 04:58 PM |
| 7 | Porn's impact on males' standards when it comes to women is equivalent to what dating apps/social media is doing to women's standards.Physically active hobbies are going to select very strongly for certain body types. If there's any scenario where someone's partners could converge to similar body types without them exercising a preference, that would be it. That said, I'm also skeptical that preferences truly aren't a factor at all. If the hobby was powerlifting, sure, but I don't think the physical requirements for hiking are that strict. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/23 08:44 PM |
| 20 | Men are told to "touch grass" and "talk to women" but if they fumble they get to be creep shamed on social mediaLack of free time is definitely a factor, but I think lack of appropriate places is an underappreciated factor. Car-centric infrastructure in the US means that there aren't many places where you can just hang out and potentially meet new people. You have to drive everywhere, and go places with an explicit purpose in mind. Cars have almost completely killed random chance encounters. That's why you so frequently see people telling men to pick up social hobbies, because that's pretty much the only … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/23 04:07 PM |
| 14 | Women have zero tolerance policy for even slightly socially awkward menBoth sexes do this, and both claim that they don't and only the other does, because they see the other sex doing it and they don't see themselves doing it. Selection bias is inherently hard to notice in yourself, because you don't see what you don't see. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/23 03:39 PM |
| 9 | Why 'toxic masculinity' isn't a useful term for understanding all of the ways to be a manMost of the terminology in the gender wars reminds me of the euphemism treadmill. The euphemism treadmill starts with doctors using a term like "retarded" in a very precise way, then lay people pick it up and start using it as an insult. To avoid insulting their patients, doctors switch to a new term, and the cycle repeats. The gender wars have a similar phenomenon where academics use certain terms in very precise ways, then gender warriors pick up those terms and start using them as insults. Ho… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/10/23 01:03 PM |
| 2 | Why women think men suck at relationshipsYou're absolutely right about cleanliness being a health matter. I think women's thresholds are often too sensitive in that regard, but I find it's usually the women around them holding them to too high standards, so I find it hard to begrudge individual women for that. Efficiency seems like a strange point to me though. Men's organizational style is all about efficiency, at least with regards to day to day tasks. The more frequently you use something, the less time you want to spend getting it … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/10/23 11:34 AM |
| 2 | Why aren’t we as harsh on promiscuous men as promiscuous women?If anything, I think it's actually the opposite. If women don't readily sleep with men, that means that men have to work for it, and you can extract value from that. You can tell men that they need to buy Axe body spray or designer clothes or nice cars to impress women. You can tell them that they need to spend 3 months salary on a diamond engagement ring or they're not good enough. I think a huge amount of society is structured around artificially separating the sexes, then selling them bridges… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/10/23 03:14 PM |
| 4 | Aren’t men in power structures alienated from men in general?The way I think about it is that in historical terms, "female" is a much more coherent identity than "male". If you find a skeleton from over 100 years ago, and you know that it's female and absolutely nothing else, you can pretty confidently guess that her role in life was to be married to a man, have his children, raise them, and do the sorts of household tasks that it's physically possible to do while pregnant and/or watching small children. If you find a skeleton and the only thing you know … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/10/23 01:33 PM |
| – | The body-shaming of short men on social media has reached epidemic proportions, yet there seems to be no mainstream discourse about it. Why?One major factor that I haven't seen anyone discussing here yet is that "short" intersects with a lot of other identities, and comes with a lot of the same issues that those identities come with, but those other identities also have their own distinct issues that result in them taking priority. So the only people advocating specifically for short people are those that don't intersect with any other identities. For instance, women are on average about 6 inches shorter than men. And many of the is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/10/23 03:52 PM |
| – | The body-shaming of short men on social media has reached epidemic proportions, yet there seems to be no mainstream discourse about it. Why?If you're providing examples in an online conversation, then the examples are almost certainly going to be social media posts or news stories, simply because those are the examples that you CAN share. If someone shares an anecdote about their neighbors, nobody is going to believe it or care about it because they have no way to verify it. It's the same reason that if you ask for an example of a person with characteristic X, that example will always be a celebrity with characteristic X, because th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/10/23 01:37 PM |
| – | The body-shaming of short men on social media has reached epidemic proportions, yet there seems to be no mainstream discourse about it. Why?The original claim is about public opinion, and while TikTok likes are a biased measure of the opinions of a specific subset of the public, they're at least a measure of what the claim is about. With the covid/ivermectin example, opinions have literally nothing at all to do with biochemical interactions (placebo/nocebo effects aside), it's a complete red herring. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/10/23 01:26 PM |
| 2 | Guys can meet women pretty much anywhere.With any advice on the internet, you have to look at who is asking for it, and who is answering. You can approach anyone anywhere, if you have enough situational awareness to recognize when they're open to being approached, and to recognize when they're not interested and back off. However, the guys with that much situational awareness are already doing it. The guys asking are asking because they don't have enough situational awareness to read the room, so they'd rather have a list of rules to f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/23 07:48 PM |
| 11 | There is roughly a 50/50 gender ratio so why are so many men having trouble finding a SINGLE girlfriend ?I think this is the biggest factor. Women going for the same men probably plays some role, but I think the biggest factor is feminism making women more likely to be happy single. Women are no longer financially dependent on men, but many men are so emotionally crippled that they effectively can't be happily single and need support from women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/10/23 12:50 PM |
| 1 | Q4All: What's the biggest lie you were told about the opposite gender that you discovered was not true as you got older?I don't think anyone believes that attraction is a complete non-factor. I think the guys who fall into this trap believe that most guys are so awful and niceness is so unusual that it's much more of a positive than it actually is. I think a good chunk of it is the sexes talking past each other with differing unspoken assumptions. The norm that men initiate means that a lot of men's difficulties are in the "firsts", so men usually give and seek advice about those early steps of the process. Women… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/23 04:59 PM |
| 7 | How come "nice girls finish last" isn't as popular of a saying?This is the core of it. Nice means different things to different people, and people rarely bother to spell out their definitions. Men are still expected to make the first move, and making the first move inherently risks making the other person uncomfortable. Men who aren't willing to risk making women uncomfortable, and thus aren't willing to make the first move, are entirely reliant on women making the first move on them. Men who don't care how women feel have no problems making the first move,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/09/23 04:44 PM |
| 7 | How come "nice girls finish last" isn't as popular of a saying?One is that people who play fairly will lose to people willing to cheat, and in this world most people are more than fine playing a bit dirty so anyone who refuses to is putting themselves at a disadvantage. The way I think about it is that evil is usually profitable, and I find it to be a pretty useful heuristic. Society basically exists to encourage good (pro-social) deeds and discourage bad (anti-social) deeds. The fact that people still do things that are bad by their society's standards ind… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/09/23 03:49 PM |
| 1 | The idea that « the bar is so low » for men is more and more prominent among women. Do you think that it’s true? Does it match reality?I think the problem here is that there isn't one single bar, there are many bars, and different people struggle with different bars. To your point, there are a lot of men who can function as adults and clear the later bars, but often get screened out before they get the chance to prove it, because they aren't interesting/attractive enough to clear the early bars. I've personally known a lot of guys like this. To the other commenter's point, there are also a lot of guys who clear the early bars t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/23 05:08 PM |
| 6 | The idea that « the bar is so low » for men is more and more prominent among women. Do you think that it’s true? Does it match reality?The bar is mainly about how a man acts in a relationship. Thank you for explicitly stating this. I think the core of the controversy is that there are multiple bars, and when someone says "the bar" without elaborating, everyone interprets it to mean the bar that they personally have the most trouble with. Because men are expected to initiate, most men interpret it as one of the "firsts" (first date, first kiss, first time having sex, etc), which is why so many men are saying it's only easy to cl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/23 04:36 PM |
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