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sailorcrystal Archive

View 4 posts and 54 comments by sailorcrystal on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I didn’t see this until now. I can’t speak to the other commentators, but I will say that my husband hates that I ask for his opinions on choices - he always tells me to choose. He doesn’t want me to ask him what to make for dinner or to double check with him on my shopping lists. He won’t tell me what he wants for Christmas. He’s not outright rude or mean, but he will always question me on things or tease it - he doesn’t typically like my movie or music choices, he logically argued for me to ch…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/24 02:26 PM
1

You are correct.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/24 02:26 AM
1

Thank you for this. I have an instrument I put aside to study my degree, and I take time off of my regular job to pull gigs when I can. We aren’t particularly close to any museums, but I’m at work on the days when I’m not at school so I prioritize artistic side hustles that pay very high. My job usually has me at work for about 10 hours a day so it’s hard for me to juggle a second job unless I start giving up sleep. But I appreciate your advice and idea!
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/24 03:01 PM
1

Thank you for this. It helps me a lot
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 04:39 PM
3

Maybe this is true. I come from a very abusive and mentally controlling family, so it’s hard to say. But sometimes I wonder because I have started to feel the same way that I did when I lived with them. He’s definitely very dismissive of my ideas and the things I like, want, and enjoy. I feel like his little sister that he teases, not the wife he should cherish. I think my husband has seen someone he could cultivate, and I’ve tried bending over backwards to change myself for the sake of our marr…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/24 04:14 PM
1

You are a blessing, thank you! I definitely will take you up on the meal help - my husband loved being on keto previously. My diet is pretty restrictive but I already live essentially a meat/veg life so keto will be easy to modify for my plate. Do you have any advice on approaching dates? My husband doesn’t really believe in them since we are married, and he is a very introverted and low-energy personality. It is not a problem to enjoy quiet nights in, but almost 100% of our time together these …
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/24 10:02 PM
4

this really hit it on the head, thank you. I feel so overwhelmed trying to be a good student, a good shift leader, a good wife. I will need to add good mother to my plate. I have already had a few mental breakdowns this year.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/24 09:55 PM
1

Thank you very much for this response. I think it’s the “ultimate truth” so to speak. Neither of us believe in divorce, I know that sounds foolish but we are Christians and we want to push forward. But this was a very honest answer and I appreciate you for saying this.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/24 09:53 PM
1

It’s hard to hear but I appreciate this comment. The majority of my money goes to debt, but I only net about $35k this year. I do contribute to household costs where I can. We live in an extremely HCOL county in a HCOL state. My husband is not afraid to drop money on things - he spent a bunch of his stocks on furniture for our apartment. I know my school aspects sound very whiny. I am looking at 3 more years of school at full time and the expectation is also for us to get pregnant and start rais…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/24 09:36 PM
2

Thank you so much for this detailed response. I’m going to touch on some things for clarity. 1) this is a great idea, my concern is that my husband is adverse to vegetables. I will talk to him - he is happy eating cereal and donuts all day. We have very different eating habits and I’ve tried to discuss this in ways that are logical, but he’s a junk food guy and I’m a greens gal. 2) he took on the cooking class. He wants to know how to whip up odds and ends into meals, which is commendable. I hav…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/24 09:29 PM
1

That is where I am struggling! I have begun to reduce my hours at work, but it is difficult to not feel like a failure in doing so. Many of my friends work full time and study full time. I know I should not compare myself and should pull back to let my man move into supporting me, but I also came from a very work-hard family and see it as a bit of a failing in myself that I cannot manage all of my plates, so to speak. We also live in a HCOL area, and I live with my landlords - I had mentioned re…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 09:50 PM
1

I’m not sure I understand what you mean. Unless you’re talking about me not quitting my job. I forgot to put it in the post, but I’m currently in a situation where I can’t quit because we’re not living together yet. If that’s not what you meant, I’m not really sure what you’re saying here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 07:24 PM
1

Truly, it is both. My fiance hates the company I work for, as I’ve spent 10 years there and at this point I’m spinning my wheels. It’s a huge company, but I’ve been pigeonholed into a tough department with little room for growth. I’m also hourly. It makes more sense for me to quit and come back later in a better salaried department with my degree, something many of my peers have done. There aren’t remote options in my sector, so he is hoping for me to quit and find something with much less stres…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 02:13 PM
1

Thank you, thank you. I definitely am, I need a specific sort of PTSD therapy so I’m going to start searching since my insurance will change in a few weeks and I will have more options to take care of myself
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 02:12 PM
1

Thank you for all of the details and guidance in this. I think the problem is exactly the “I feel” statements. He’s very much the “it doesn’t matter how we feel, doing the right/beneficial thing is difficult to do and we have to push past our feelings to get it done.” That’s my struggle. Because I feel burnt out and I feel depressed, and he’s so good at compartmentalizing his feelings that he can basically erase them and plough on through. He has massive amounts of bandwidth, whereas I have very…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 01:24 PM
5

I discussed it with him and the expectation is that we would have a nanny.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 01:18 PM
1

Thank you so much for this compassionate response. Reading it and getting to the end…. My fiancé consistently tells me that time is not on our side, and that I absolutely must get into school and through it. He also told me that I needed to get into therapy, which is true. My job already produces a lot of burnout, and the upcoming season is filled with overtime. I know that improving my mental health will absolutely improve my relationship, but I don’t know how to get my fiancé to understand the…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 01:16 PM
3

Sorry, I worded it incorrectly - he is so logical that I can’t make emotional pleas of desire, I have to sit and thought-tree out my desires and argue for them in such a way that they’re logically ironclad and reasonable. He’s very good at overriding his desires, and I’m trying to learn to do the same, but it’s very hard and I’m struggling a lot in our relationship because of it. Thank you for the advice, for responding and listening.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 01:36 AM
2

My plan before we met was to work for myself, since I have a few talents that I can spin into business opportunities and use to make side money - or even as my income. But my fiancé comes from a culture that frowns upon this and he is dead-set I get a degree so that I can be tied to a “stable” brick and mortar job (that isn’t the one I already work for.) I try to explain this concept to him, working for myself, but I just don’t know how to do it in a feminine way that he will logically accept an…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 01:28 AM
8

Thank you for sharing this. He sees how his coworkers have wives who raise the kids while working and that’s his expectation.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 12:32 AM
4

I am working on pursuing business, but I don’t have the credits to transfer so the process is drawn out. Best case scenario, I won’t be able to get in until next year and then it’ll be at least another 2-3 years before I can graduate. At that point, we would potentially be married and pregnant, but I know he doesn’t want us to have children before I have my “career” because he wants to leave the state and live somewhere where cost is much lower. His push for IT is so that I can work from home wh…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 12:09 AM
4

Agree with this. Of the women I know, myself included (although I’m not married yet, but my man and I have this discussion often) we have all been working before children. Especially in today’s economy, depending on the state, it is rare to find a man who is willing to take on an uneducated and non-working woman to be his housewife. It is also a benefit to women to at least have some sort of monetary skillset, lest her husband die or get laid off.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/23 01:17 AM
3

No I’m saying it’s all bare minimum except for the race part. You’ll have better odds outside of California imho as someone who is from CA and living in your same neck of the woods
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 06:41 PM
1

As someone who is also in this geographical area, I really think your list is reasonable except for the 6ft white guy part, much like most others have said. I’m with a man who fits literally all of your criteria, who is college educated with a stem job and decent income. But he isn’t white and he’s not over 6ft (but almost.) I think you’re really limiting yourself - many good, repelled men exist in other races, and the OC is extremely diverse in many areas.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 06:27 PM
-1

False. My man is reaching 40 and is a virgin. We are getting married soon, although we are religious. I am grateful that he doesn’t have notches under his belt.
/r/AllPillDebate02/04/23 02:33 AM
5

Friend of a friend
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/23 03:37 PM
5

Before I met my fiancé, when I’d date (or meet men who showed interest in me,) I always kept it in the forefront of my mind that “until this guy shows exclusivity by asking me to be his gf, I have to understand that he’s probably talking to other women - and he has the right to do so.” However, with that in mind, the moment these guys blew hot and cold on me, I dipped. It’s so much easier to be alone than to wait for crumbs of affection from men like a dog waiting for scraps. I had to take inven…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/23 05:03 PM
15

Okay, so as a woman dating a Nigerian man as well, PDA and general "fluffy" affection that is common in the USA is very uncommon there. As far as I'm aware, my bf's parents were never lovey-dovey in front of him or his sisters. The relationship wasn't transactional to them, but by an American account it can seem that way when he discusses it to me (they are divorced now.) However, my boyfriend was always very intentional about wanting to date me. There was never a time when I doubted his affecti…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/22 11:00 PM
-1

Even if this guy does like you, he's your coworker and dating him is not in your best interest.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 07:50 AM
5

I read through your post history and I recommend that you lay this one to rest. A guy who acts interested, then does a 180 when you're responsive and shows interest, is a major red flag to me. Especially since you claim that he is rude and insulting. Also, dating a coworker often ends poorly and is highly unrecommended. Keep business business.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 07:46 AM
1

Maybe interests in a better word. My boyfriend is more of a homebody who is fine watching films all day, while I’d rather go out and do “activities” like go to the beach or hike or roller skate or visit museums.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 05:03 PM
2

May I message you in private?
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 11:51 PM
6

Usually, I’m the one who heads to him because we are about 2 hours apart round-trip and he lives in a city with more options to do things (although we rarely do much because my boyfriend and I don’t have matching hobbies so we don’t really ever date as much as we simply hang out.) I also don’t live alone so I’m not really able to invite him over. Since he has been through a lot this year, I’ve been the one to try to carry his plate, so to speak, because I don’t want to sound like I’m whining or …
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 05:03 PM
2

Thank you, thank you. I’m used to having to fight for my place at the table, so to speak, and through all of these helpful comments I’m realizing that behavior/mindset has transitioned into my relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 04:44 PM
3

Thank you, I’ve just begun to realize this myself. I used to be so good at taking care of myself and really being in my feminine energy. I gave up my hobbies to pursue a job skill full time, on top of my full time job 🥺and it’s eating me up inside because my mental health has severely plummeted as a result.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 02:58 PM
13

Thank you for this reminder! I've basically abdicated from all of my feminine knowledge due to a lot of stress and hardship this year, but you've reminded me of a key component: feminine energy is receptive, masculine energy is doing. I've spent the last five months being in a constant state of doing. But it is time to allow myself to simply be, and to receive as a result. Thank you again!
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/22 05:15 AM
1

Girl, you have a post saying you were engaged to a man for the better half of your 20s and he cheated on you; you have another post claiming that your bf of only one year hated basically everything about you and you left him. Now you’re coming on mere weeks later claiming you’re into a taken man. What you need is to seek some professional help, get yourself healthy, focus on some positive hobbies to develop yourself, then worry about trying to meet a healthy, single man. They exist; I’m also in …
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/22 09:24 PM
1

My boyfriend was out of town when he asked me to be his gf; we did it over Facetime because he couldn't stand the idea of waiting two more weeks until I was going to pick him up from the airport. Moreover, we've only been dating for two months (known each other for 6, however) and this man is fully committed to me and is always discussing how much he can't wait until we are married and I am his wife. ​ If a man wants to, he will. This guy has already made it known that he's keeping his options o…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 02:35 AM
2

Honestly, I don't have good advice on that front. I was studying to be a harpist when I stopped to go into IT as a full-stack developer. IT was never in the top ten of my job goals, lol, maybe not even top 20. And I still want to play harp as a hobby. But, I have to prioritize the future and my future family over my own desires at this point. I'm currently enrolled in an 8-month coding bootcamp that will allow me to go into entry-level work starting at a gross of 80k per year; right now, I net u…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 04:53 AM
2

OP, please listen to the other commenters. I (F31) just had a conversation with my boyfriend today about this very topic. College is great! And it sounds like a fantastic outlet for you. But, I've spent the last 10+ years of my life (college included) on the performing arts. My dream was to be a musician, and when I got married I'd be a SAHW/M and not have to worry because my future husband would make enough and life would be easy because he would be out working and I would be at home working on…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/22 04:17 AM
2

100% true. I switched jobs recently and work in a warehouse. Think hot, close toed shoes, etc. I spent a lot of the colder days in sweatpants and leggings. Lately, I’ve found that I can (safely) wear shorts and casual dresses. I’m working on having a more professional attire (this is a transitional job for me, and my last job had a set uniform) even though I don’t work with any customers and am usually working alone in the back sorting packages. The men at my job are SO much more friendly. Even …
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/22 12:47 AM
2

As someone who has never known her dad, and whose dad had no interest in knowing me, the only thing I wish that had been different would have been my mom’s relationship with Jesus. That’s not for everyone, I understand, but she would have made better choices in her life, choices that have directly affected me well into adulthood. Outside of a religious realm, if you have any sort of personal issues: poor self-esteem, depression, bad spending habits, etc. please seek professional help and do what…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/20 11:15 AM
3

As an example, a male friend of mine broke up with a girl but was still distraught over her (she had some growing to do.) She ended up hitting him up again (which isn’t reflective of your situation, but it bears mentioning,) and they got back together Only for it to fall apart. He was very much of the same “if you let something go and it returns, it’s yours” mentality. Be cautious. Guard your heart. No matter what you do, good luck.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/19 03:05 AM
–

Is it normal for women to want to be taken care of, particularly in the financial sense? My dream is to be along the lines of a SAHW, although I’d be more than happy working part time to pay for my fun sundry items. I just find a lot more pride and accomplishment in taking care of my home than I do being at my job.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 05:33 PM
2

Honestly, diet is a major factor for long-term hair growth. When I cut out processed/packaged foods and started to strictly cook for myself (whole foods/clean eating) my hair (and nails) started growing out much faster and has become much more elastic as a result. Also, gelatin supplements.
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/18 09:15 PM
1

I think it’s definitely the left-wing mindset of California, haha. Extremely hard climate when it comes to looking for Captain Material because all of the women want to be their own Captains 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/18 04:57 PM
3

Thanks for your insight! I agree wholeheartedly with what you said, but the respect factor is what got me...the men I’ve met who push splitting bills have several viewpoints that I don’t respect. If I can’t respect him then he definitely won’t be my captain, for sure
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/18 03:40 PM
5

Call me foolish for a question such as this, but what about the guys in society who are looking for girls to split the bills with? I see a lot of men who claim to want to build WITH a woman and want her to carry some of the financial burden. I’m not against contributing, especially as someone in California with an astronomical cost of living, but would a lack of interest in being the sole provider (either mentally or physically) indicate a more blue-pilled thought process? For me, when I see guy…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/18 02:31 PM
7

Hello, and welcome to RPW! First and foremost, I think you have some great goals. That being said, you have a lot of them! What I think would do you good to start would to be picking and choosing some very specific ones and making those your focus. If you have 40 goals and happen to fail along the way to where you only accomplish 20 of them, will it bring down your self-esteem? Or will you understand that it’s okay to not be able to do every single thing you want? For example, to my understandin…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/18 04:41 PM
3

Revamping my diet and getting back to exercise Better time management More self-care to engage in my feminine side and keep my looks up even when work has me super busy
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/17 09:08 AM
2

Agreeing with above posts; as someone who is beyond college but works at a giant company, any time spent on property I push myself (natural introvert) to smile at everyone I pass. Even a small smile with alert eyes can do wonders! I am also almost never on my phone when I walk to and fro. The last thing is anterior pelvic tilt. I am not doctor, but I've always walked with APT and ever since I've pushed my pelvis forward to correct it my hips sway so much more! Not sure if loads of guys are check…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/17 10:16 PM
2

YES ZUMBA
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/17 07:56 PM
2

When I have the energy (I'm battling a cold) I try to do HIIT every day for at least an hour, as well as weight training. Since I'm not feeling well, and my schedule will get in the way at times, I make sure I do at least something (40 minute walk + ab work / squats / weights) every day. At my lowest points, I probably do some form of exercise four days out of the week.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/17 04:58 PM
–

I checked the search for this but couldn't find a specific one: what's a good way to stay classy when a guy is flirting and brings up innuendo? It's not a lot and overt, but the attraction is there and I want to show interest while also displaying that no, I won't be hopping into bed anytime soon. My default reaction is blushing and laughter, but are witty quips acceptable?
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 05:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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