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sampa2nyc Archive

View 0 posts and 33 comments by sampa2nyc on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I do not think this is the case for OP. They may have differing parenting styles, which is okay, OP's larger issue is with his ex-wife, rather than his current relationship, which OP states is positive.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:44 PM
4

Hold the line. Your kids are only 10 and you will never get that time back. Things will change naturally as they get older but for now, your time with your kids during your custody time is precious. Your girlfriend should understand this since she has a similar custody agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:22 AM
1

Thank God you are able to co-parent successfully. It's funny and more than a little "textbook" how things ultimately turned out for your ex. Stay the course and be the best dad you can be. Please keep us updated on your progress. Wishing you all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 05:21 AM
1

Didn't you discover that your ex wife was researching bi-polar disorder? Does she in fact have the disorder? It may explain, but not excuse, her past behavior. Good on you for standing firm. Her problems are not your problems. Moving on and radical acceptance is the best to deal with these types of situations. Wishing you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 11:54 PM
1

If this issue is that important to you you may need to go back to court and let a judge settle it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 11:36 PM
2

Honestly, after reading all these surviving infidelity posts I would say that a prenuptial agreement with an infidelity clause should be part of every marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 01:07 AM
1

Remember forgiveness is for yourself, so that you can move on past the trauma and live your best life. Indifference should be your goal. It shouldn't matter if they live happily ever after or if they crash and burn. You and your kids are all that really matter going forward. I wish you all the best.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:23 PM
1

You are doing the right thing. Remember, it is perfectly okay to forgive someone yet be glad they are no longer a part of your life. I would also suggest you switch to a court approved co-parenting app for any further communication. They work, the content can't be deleted, access can be given to third parties (like lawyers, therapist etc.) and best of all content is admissible in court. EDIT: You have youth on your side. Remember there is life and love on the other side of divorce. Consider this…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 06:05 PM
1

I see, are you two in mediation or is a court date approaching? BTW, I read some of your previous posts, I'm sorry for the nasty way your wife is treating you. She could at least be cordial. She could at least leave the room if she's texting AP. That would be the respectful, dignified thing to do, but hey... She sounds like she's reverted to a petulant teenager. Do you think it is the "Affair Fog" (not that it would change the outcome). Yes, at this point, be smart and do everything you can to a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:53 PM
1

Yeah, that's why I said I get it. Better to get it over with and be done with her and move on to the next chapters of your life. Why are you still co-habiting? Was that court ordered?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:40 PM
3

So typical, she's blaming you for her filing for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:38 PM
2

New York is not a full No-Fault divorce state and is one of several states where you can still file for a Fault-Based or Contested divorce. In New York, fault-based divorce can be based on one of the following: Cruel and inhuman treatment where it is unsafe for the parties to live together Abandonment for a continuous period of one year or more Imprisonment for three or more years after the parties were married Adultery Living apart for one or more years after obtaining a judgment of separation …
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:34 PM
2

I live in New York. I believe that you can chose to have either a no fault or fault divorce, no?
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 05:24 PM
2

Can she make some other living arrangements or are you stuck with her until the divorce is finalized? I would install hidden cameras throughout the house for the duration. It's better to be safe than sorry. Desperate people do desperate things. How old are the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 11:40 PM
3

I would demand that you only communicate with the STBX via co-parenting apps and/or lawyers. Also, never be alone with her. She could accuse you of abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/21 11:11 PM
2

Sure, co-parenting apps were created specifically for divorced/estranged couples who have children. They really work at cutting down the need for physical communication with the ex. Some of the features include: custody calendars, unlike texts, content can't be deleted, access can be given to third parties like mediators, lawyers and grandparents, some apps have "tone" checks that insure all communication remains cordial. Content can be time stamped and is admissible in court (you should check w…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/21 01:17 AM
2

If you have any children please use a co-parenting app. They work wonders.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/21 11:03 PM
1

Yeah, I think the apps are game changers. I really like that content can not be deleted, and is admissible in court and that you can give third parties access.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 02:39 PM
2

That was what they call the sunk cost fallacy, but that's all in the past now. In addition to the schooling I would insist that the ex communicate with you solely through one of those co-parenting apps. People on this forum have said they work wonders: They have calendars, content cannot be deleted, and access can be given to third parties like therapist, mediators and lawyers. All communication is logged and can be used in court. Some even have "tone" guards which is similar to spell check, but…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:45 AM
1

Yeah, that is the one issue you must fight for. Also, I'm guessing that would give you primary custody due to your ex moving out of state. She clearly hasn't thought this through, but please make sure that schooling is something you are in charge of.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:38 AM
2

Yeah, sounds like narcissism. It seems like she doesn't have the ability to look beyond herself. Unfortunately, in many of these cases that includes the best interests of the children. It's funny that she said you have limitations. I guess everyone has limitations except for her. I would think that a grown woman with a spotty work history would be a limitation, but that's just me, lol. It's so funny that so many of these stories are textbook. The people change but the situation are basically the…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:27 AM
1

Home schooling? That's the one hill you should consider dying on in this divorce. Your daughter needs the stability of remaining in the only home she has known and the consistency and socialization skills that a set school schedule will provide. Also, are family members (yours and the ex's) nearby or in the town the ex is moving to? Consulting with an interior decorator, preferably while the STBX is home is genius. Just remember to continue to grey rock if the STBX starts asking questions and ge…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:00 AM
1

Yeah, I didn't think she did anything to the pancakes, lol, just was suggesting including prepared meals in the grey rock technique. Family vacations? the STBX doesn't seem to have a firm grasp on the situation or reality (beware). Do you think she might have BPD or is she just that narcissistic that she cannot comprehend anything outside her own concerns? I think that now with the information you have from this sub, Dr. Ramani and other sources, you are more able to see the "mask/act" that she …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 06:43 AM
2

Hope you didn't eat the breakfast. You should either leave the house when she prepares breakfast/dinner or simply eat some cold cereal with milk. Hard grey rock, even when it comes to food.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 06:17 AM
2

I hope you are seriously grey rocking her while you are still cohabiting. Perhaps you could start a home/room renovation that would simultaneously and unsubtly drive the point home that she needs TGFO, lol. Also, a renovation/redecoration would make the home finally YOURS and not the home you shared with STBX. Have you two discussed the custody arrangement yet?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:38 AM
2

You are very welcome. Dr. Ramani is so helpful. I have faith in relationships again thanks to her. Since you have a child together I suggest you insist your STBX communicate with you only via one of those co-parenting apps. I have heard from others on this forum that they work wonders.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:15 AM
2

What she is about to find out is that happiness comes from within (a cliché but true). Unfortunately she may never learn this lesson, but not your monkeys not your circus (I love that saying. lol). She was/is just projecting her unhappiness onto you. Contrary to what movies, novels, love songs etc. lead us to believe, you are not responsible for another person's happiness. Congrats for getting her out of your house. Get your popcorn ready for the sh*t show that is about to unfold. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 05:05 AM
2

Dr. Ramani is the truth, I'm glad you have discovered her videos.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:37 AM
2

It's not you. You loved someone who ultimately betrayed you. That is not your fault. There are good, authentic, emotionally mature people out there. Take this time to heal. In time things will get better. Hopefully, you will develop the skill to be able to discern someone's true character in the future. Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:32 AM
2

I suggest you read "The Four M's of Infidelity: Why Cheaters Can't Leave Their Affair Partners" online. It explains a lot about the mindset of a cheater. It will undoubtedly ring more than a few bells for you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:26 AM
2

Yes, that's why therapist suggest the BS utilize the grey rock technique when dealing with an ex.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:23 AM
2

Also, be careful of her return after she realizes the grass is not greener so to speak. This usually happens when the affair fog dissipates and reality sets in or if your wife is a narcissist she might try to "hoover" back if the new relationship doesn't fulfill her needs for "kibbles" or validation. You were the former source of her validation. This may not happen right away, it may never happen at all (consider yourself lucky). Take care of yourself, perhaps some IC would help with the roller …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:20 AM
2

It isn't a red pill epidemic but narcissist or at the very least people with narcissistic tendencies are more common than you think. Typically narcissists idealize (the new relationship) devalue (you and the your marriage) and discard Your STBXW has discarded you. She no longer needs you because she has found a new 'supply" to feed her fragile ego) It's not you, it's what they do: Idealize, devalue and discard.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 04:07 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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