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sandman200 Archive

View 0 posts and 30 comments by sandman200 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Hang in there! It gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 09:16 PM
3

$20,000. What funny is that her bill was also $20,000.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 07:02 PM
2

My dog really helped me. He seemed the sense whenever I was spiraling down and would bring me his ball. I definitely recommend getting one. (Not a puppy) I did like having the house the way I like it. I also liked how all the responsibilities were my own. If the dishes were done, that’s on me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:31 PM
1

Fellow divorced Texan here. I have not seen this Texas family court. I recommend asking r/legaladvice. What does your lawyer say?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 12:48 PM
1

What state?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 04:53 AM
1

Same
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 09:51 PM
3

Yes. That was me. I had medication, but what really helped me was exercise. Just taking your mind of women and sex all together.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 06:34 AM
1

Had one when I was 30ish, “happily married” and with two kids. Now I’m 45, divorced and the kids are grown. No regrets. My GF I’m dating now doesn’t want kids, so it does work out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 07:38 PM
17

Best advise my lawyer gave me, kill all social media when there is an active case. Don’t give the judge or opposing console free material. I know it sucks. I recommend downloading your friends list and texting and calling them directly. If you don’t have their number, ask for it. I did this. It’s nice to hear and compassionate human voice. You find out fast who your friends really are and if they are worth your time and energy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 03:32 PM
1

In Texas, it’s separate community property. However a case can be made that she helped/enabled you to work while being a homemaker. My lawyer and I were prepared to offer 50% of the equity paired into the house during the marriage. My house was purchased for $99k in 1999 and still had $65k left on the mortgage at time of the divorce. We were prepared to offer her $30k, her half of the equity payments. As others said, check with a lawyer. A consultation should be free. Look at the local bar assoc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 02:09 AM
2

M44 here. After my divorce, I’ve dated women in my age group because it was more comfortable. But I never found much sexual compatibility with them. They were set in their ways as far was what they liked in bed and they didn’t like to talk about it. My marriage of 20 years was a dead bedroom for the last 10. I swore that I would never find myself in that same situation again. My love language is physical touch. So her ability to express desire for me both emotionally and physically is high on my…
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/22 08:47 PM
3

Let her argue away. The court is not emotional, as along as the kids are safe and not abused, they don’t care. Courts only care what’s legal. Going to extremes here, thing of all the bad parents who get to kid their kids. (Drug users, partners who abuse, homeless, etc). They still keep their kids. There is no legal measurement for parenting. Let her pound sand.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 02:56 PM
2

Maybe a smaller apartment? One bedroom? The kids can have a roll away. Maybe an apartment further way where cost of living is cheaper.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 02:59 AM
7

I recommend therapy for yourself first. Not to modify or change behaviors, but to understand the emotions driving your need for a divorce. A therapist will help flush those out from an outside perspective. I did this myself. It’s amazing the lies and compromises we tell ourselves over the years. As to your original question: hire a lawyer as your first step. Do as he says. There is no such thing as a clean spilt. This will be emotional. I was surprised how emotional I got. I divorced after 20 ye…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 04:36 PM
1

If I remember correctly, the the parent of is primarily responsible for financial care. It’s separate from custody.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 02:02 PM
2

In Texas, 50/50 means everything including the cost of the child is spilt evenly. No support is ordered. This was explained to me by my lawyer. (Maybe this answers your question about hiring one.). In my case, I make $200k a year, she only $40-50k. She refused to do any agreement where I was listed as a primary conservator, entitling her to support payments based on standard of living. In her mind 50/50 meant equal rights. She was wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/22 12:20 AM
8

This! Get a lawyer. Mine cost $17k. A small investment considering the business.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 02:36 PM
3

It may not even get to a judge. In your state a mediator maybe required before it goes before a judge. My lawyer was able to negotiate where she kept all the cash (I’ll earn more of course) and I kept the assets in current condition. She waived spousal support in favor of the lump sum. The support order would have cost me more. The law and the judge only come in to play both sides can’t reach an agreement an it goes to court. You never know in her mind what she will consider is fair.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 02:34 PM
1

Check with your lawyer. Maybe sure there isn’t something you need to be aware of? Like having a woman over while your negotiating first right of refusal. In general, there isn’t a problem in a no fault state.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/22 12:20 AM
1

Right of first refusal cuts both ways. I say leave it out. (Example, five years from now you have another woman in your life and she offers to take the kids to a movie while you work late.)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 10:20 PM
2

I couldn’t agree more. It’s also important that you interview lawyers before hiring them. Not for their experience or strategy, but to see if your personality will mesh with theirs.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/22 06:49 PM
1

So as you can see, if she dies, my kids get screwed. I doubt that. It sounds to me like your providing for them anyways. Am I correct in assuming that if she’s that bad with money, that she is not contributing much anyways to their support today? Keep doing what your doing. Work to improve your and the kids’ lives and don’t count on a windfall that may or may not happen. Be the rock in your kids life. There is another side of this coin, she maybe doing this to get a raise out of you. I was in a …
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 06:55 AM
5

Without knowing the reason why you both must cover each other, I would let it go. You will waste time and energy responding to her childish games. And she no longer worth it. Live up to your end of the bargain and move on. Now if there is a reason, consult your lawyer. You could at the very least hold her in contempt of court. But how many billable hours would that cost you? What’s the return on your investment? In addition, if she dies maybe you can sue her estate…? Again, that’s a legal questi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 04:26 AM
7

Yes do it now. For all the reasons listed here, but most importantly: your resentment will grow. It will not get better. The longer you wait, the worse it will get.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 05:20 PM
2

Yes,shop around for a lawyer. Interview them, find one that will match with your personality. The local bar association is a good place to start. In Dallas, the bar association has a on-line directory. To be listed l, your lawyer must be a member AND agree to a free consultation. Don’t go with the cheapest. I picked mine because he was a straight shooter. He billed $400 an hour.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 06:08 AM
3

I saw a couple go through this. It was interesting to watch. He moved out right away. But didn’t file for divorce for serval months as they tried to fix it. In the end, they divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/21 06:58 PM
11

It’s not been my case. My counselor was in the fix couple communication camp. She worked on how we could better communicate without placing blame or being defensive. Now my ex wasn’t interested in improving her communication skills. She didn’t want to do exercises like reflection (just repeating what I’m feeling, no acknowledgement of blame or responsibility.) so she quit going. I knew then where the problem was.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/21 03:56 PM
2

^ this last paragraph is what I came to say! Inventory what you have, send it to her or her lawyer with a generous deadline to come pick it up. (30 days)
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/20 09:27 PM
1

Yes, we spoke frequently during the divorce. This was a mistake as it ultimately weakened my position at mediation. I telegraphed what I was willing to do premeditation and her lawyer to advantage of it. Not a big deal in retro spec, but I did end up signing away 90% of my 401k instead of 70%. Small price to pay for happiness. I’m in a much better place now. Three years later, we don’t speak save once or twice a month about our son.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/20 09:19 PM
2

My wife was emotionally abusive. My lawyer gave me the following advice: Slowly move prized possessions into storage or at least out of the house. Get a place to live during the divorce. Put together a “go bag”. Clothing, day to day stuff you will need. The day she is served, grab the bad and disappear. Don’t answer her calls. As far as the house, it depends on the state your in. I owned the house before the marriage. In Texas, all community property is spilt 50/50. I got to keep the house, but …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/20 01:59 PM
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