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sandyreflection Archive

View 0 posts and 20 comments by sandyreflection on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

It was a big red flag i ignored just to embrace him with all his imperfections. Don't have children if you're not willing to protect them over your lust for a man who, quite frankly, doesn't deserve your love and commitment. Your posts indicate many red flags. He is no captain worth following.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/20 07:29 PM
2

It's a little strange he's asking you pretty directly how to dress and do his hair? Is he asking you like it's an expectation for you to lead him on that or something? Or is he maybe asking what you like (as an attraction sort of thing)? Either way, complimenting him when you genuinely like an outfit he's wearing or how he's done his hair that day is a good way to be supportive, letting him know you're attracted to him without directly "mothering" by telling him what to wear.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/20 05:11 AM
2

All the time. I relate to this so much. I feel really isolated, and I wish I knew other ladies who leaned more traditional and conservative. I'm stuck in a very liberal area right now though.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 12:50 AM
2

A healthy relationship has both parties accountable to each other. Leadership and accountability may be related, in that leadership also contains accountability, but really leadership is primary responsibility over decision making and direction. Accountability is "am I living up to the promises we've made/what I've decided on?". Has he conflated leadership and accountability maybe? Maybe he's not wanting to create a dynamic where he is coming to you for help or guidance when he feels it's someth…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/20 04:51 PM
4

That trust question is a deflection designed to pull on your good nature (or naivety?). Something is up... Stand your ground and ask him to see the results yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 05:57 AM
2

I can recommend a book that really helped me when I was dealing with a lot of anxiety that interfered with my daily life. It's called "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" by Steven C. Hayes. It's basically a workbook of sorts based in cognitive behavioral therapy.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 06:06 AM
5

I wouldn't give up on it, but rather come to accept the consequences of your past will likely mean your options will likely be more shrunken than they could have been. It doesn't mean there's no chance, just that the pool is smaller. If you give up on the possibility entirely, you won't be able to allow/recognize the chance that could be right in front of you one day, you know? Good luck on your journey of self improvement.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/20 03:52 AM
1

I feel like if you value your relationship with your wife and you both are building something, actively, together, that the issue you are facing with lust wouldn't rear it's head as ugly as it has, because it wouldn't be a priority to you that you get validation/satisfaction from variety/external sources, rather you would be whole from within your relationship. Like, as in, you wouldn't feel like monogamy was this compromise you were making. I understand you're wanting to avoid growing resentful…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 03:17 AM
1

In those moments when he is confiding in you the struggle and doubt he faces, try asking him questions that remind him he does have control, you believe in his leadership, and you support him. Like, if he is saying something about doubting he can make the career change he seems to want, ask him what he CAN do (there must be something), or what his plan would be to make those changes if he could. This puts responsibility on his shoulders while also showing that you believe in his abilities to ove…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/20 05:49 AM
15

It seems like you have this idea that a woman must live up to "typical masculine" standards in order to have value. What do you think of the women who pursue a submissive role? When you say you don't want to be treated like a child/as lesser (being protected, door holding, giving you shelter in the rain, etc.), why do you equate that with being lesser rather than being valued and cherished? Of a man showing his love towards you, because he values you? The type of man you describe that you'd like…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/20 05:52 AM
3

My quest and goal will be to eliminate my insecurities from not having trust and to build trust again? He will not go to therapy. Has your husband given you any reasons to trust him again? He crossed a line. Why are you taking responsibility for his own actions? Why are you denying yourself boundaries? It isn't insecure to have lost trust in a person who lied and betrayed your trust-- it's rather a completely rational reaction. You will have to learn to trust again for a fulfilling relationship,…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/20 03:32 AM
3

The guy clearly wasn't there to have a discussion and instead launched right into hurling insults at OP. "Loool" is about all that his tirade deserved, if even that.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 11:01 PM
2

I'm glad you were proactive and booked a therapy session! It will be good to explore that further with them, especially since they have a history discussing this guy with you, so now they can prod a bit further into what was missed. I was thinking it almost sounds a bit like you approached the RP lifestyle a bit "too textbook" without giving your guts a good listen. Building yourself up and practicing listening to your guts will be important as you move forward from these two experiences. As you…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/20 07:31 PM
15

Are you still seeing your therapist? I would suggest continuing and working through what happened with them. Your therapist may be able to help you work backwards and reflect on red flags you weren't seeing or hadn't mentioned to her before. You mentioned that something did feel off about this man, but you couldn't place it. Can you expand a little more on what made you feel something was off? Are there similarities you can see between this man and the previous one that cheated on you, personali…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/20 10:08 PM
0

If you don't want to be used as a pump-and-dump, you should wait to give sex until after you're exclusive. Essentially, after you've obtained a commitment from the man. Sex is a woman's asset, and commitment is a man's. A man won't need to promise any commitment to you if you're giving yourself out for free. If you want a better chance at committed, long term relationships, you can't jump into bed with men so liberally before that. The advice from that woman, to me, sounds more like something th…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/20 06:17 PM
3

Thank you so much! This is all great advice and insight! Much appreciated ☺️
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 11:52 PM
3

Could you offer some insight into what general field/path your husband is in that he climbed to the figures he's achieved over time? We're wanting to do the SAHM thing (no kids yet), and my husband is trying to figure out the path to support that life career wise, as he's basically coming from retail services and just breaking into office settings.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/19 05:21 PM
1

I also don’t feel pressure to have kids, but I think it’s largely because I’m lucky to have a family that doesn’t care, at least not yet (I’m only 23). Some people’s cultures place a lot more emphasis on childbearing, and I can see why they feel so pressured. Many parents are openly disappointed in their children for not having kids. I get that it's an annoyance to feel the need to justify yourself in your decision, but I think a healthy family, a healthy culture would, by default, place a stron…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/19 07:07 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/diasdc/doormat_vs_deference You seem to be hung up on the word "submission", which is understandable. This post from a couple months ago may help give you a better understanding on what we mean.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/19 04:31 AM
8

Feminism promotes a destructive view on the relationship between men and women: men are the tyrannical oppressors and women the helpless victims of men throughout history. Rather than promoting cohesion between the sexes, it's a worldview of man vs. woman, which would naturally put women (the "oppressed") in the defensive mindset of fighting men rather than working with them to build something together. This strains a feminist woman's very own relationship with her partner where rebellion, rathe…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 02:29 AM
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