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sarah-goldfarb Archive

View 0 posts and 135 comments by sarah-goldfarb on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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9

Feminist does not mean feminine is better. Feminism is in favor of men’s rights too. The point of feminism is gender equality not female domination; it is called “feminism” not “egalitarianism” because women have historically been socially and economically disenfranchised. However, many feminist leaders have fought for men’s rights, such as the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, one of the most prominent feminist icons in America, who built her early law career by fighting for men’s rights issues…
/r/ExRedPill19/05/21 11:11 PM
16

As a woman who has never cheated or thought about cheating, but has been cheated on, I can inform you that your belief is most certainly not true. And stereotypically it's the man that cheats, as men are less tied to the home and children, and men tend to find sex more enjoyable than women do. You should read about Nazi propaganda tactics. TRP is the same way. They present you with caricatures of the the people they want you to hate, make up lies about their opponent and then hammer the image in…
/r/ExRedPill27/10/20 02:38 PM
7

Amen. Pain is a part of dating.
/r/ExRedPill09/10/20 11:30 PM
6

Yes, exactly. The problem with TRP is that it blames women for this. Why go through life thinking that all women are evil and men are saints, instead of recognizing that there are flawed people of both sexes? If you treat women like the enemy, you'll never be able to fully love.
/r/ExRedPill20/09/20 04:00 AM
6

If you performed the same experiment with the genders reversed, with a hot girl admitting to committing crimes on her profile, are you saying you don't think it would get a lot of responses from guys?
/r/ExRedPill19/09/20 10:49 PM
7

Gibberish
/r/ExRedPill13/09/20 12:04 AM
6

There are lots of women out there who also have CPTSD and/or social phobia, just like you, and would prefer to date someone who has a similar history.
/r/ExRedPill07/09/20 02:09 PM
9

I really think it's all about where you live and who you are surrounded by. I grew up in an area with a highly educated, liberal populace (sorry to bring politics into it, but it's just my experience). My parents and their huge group of friends are all happily married couples who have been together for 30+ years. This is a group that primarily values: empathy, compassion, seeing beyond superficial characteristics and flaws and appreciating every person for who they are, knowledge for it's own sa…
/r/ExRedPill05/09/20 11:06 PM
8

Ok, but you haven't addressed my points, that women are statistically less likely to cheat than men are, and that the majority of people do not cheat regardless of gender.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 08:13 PM
13

When you truly become an alpha male, most women will want to have sex with you even if they’re in relationships or they’re married. That’s just how it is. If you ask any guy that has slept with lots of women without any effort he will indeed agree that most women are sluts and whores. Your whole outlook is premised on the idea that it's somehow a bad thing to be more attracted to people who are more driven, successful, charismatic, good-looking. Do you not think that men also prefer women who ar…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 07:37 PM
25

They do. The undeniable reality is that women who have sex with multiple partners are affected no differently than men who do it, physically or mentally, but RPers insist on pushing untrue pseudoscience that says otherwise. What else do you think their motive is?
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 07:08 PM
74

I agree, but good luck getting RP'ers to accept any of those premises. Their entire ideology is based on their desire to tilt the sexual economy in their favor by slut-shaming women. They know exactly what they're doing, they know it's a double standard and they don't care because it's a part of their strategy.
/r/ExRedPill25/08/20 06:45 PM
2

You have a job. You exercise and lift weights. You enjoy reading and learning about things on the internet. That's a lot more than some people can say about themselves! Some people have no job. Some people don't take care of their bodies. Some people don't have the discipline to form healthy habits and take care of themselves at all. Some people aren't curious about what is going on in the world enough to read about it online. Some people have never had a relationship at all. You have already ac…
/r/ExRedPill14/08/20 11:48 PM
8

Communities that focus on one's own gender are ok, sometimes people need that, but without getting the other gender's perspective and understanding how they experience things, you never truly learn to empathize with members of the opposite sex.
/r/ExRedPill23/07/20 12:47 AM
9

> I think there are specific challenges that each gender faces when it comes to dating. The problem is that when you seek out stories/advice from only one gender's viewpoint, it creates an echo chamber. It can be useful to read about women's problems from women's perspectives, even if they don't address your specific issues.
/r/ExRedPill23/07/20 12:22 AM
8

Stop posting self pity on facebook! Not because it's "not masculine" -- it would be unattractive if a girl did it, too. Your friend sounds really understanding and supportive, by making the comment about the art piece she was trying to validate your feelings and make you feel confident expressing your feelings, despite the fact that it's pretty lame to post that kind of stuff. You are lucky to have friends that "get you" and you should look no further than them for the dating advice you seek.
/r/ExRedPill03/07/20 11:50 AM
5

You've never met her in person? Because she's "afraid of disappointing you"? It sounds like you're being catfished.
/r/ExRedPill27/06/20 11:47 AM
8

I don’t think you understand what being a “sex object” means. It means being used for your body for someone else’s enjoyment at the expense of your own. If a woman is having sex for her own pleasure and enjoyment, she is by definition not a sex object. In fact, she’s doing exactly what you do. Why do you think you deserve to enjoy sexual freedom, but women don’t? That is a double standard. You are talking about using women as sex objects when you talk about how getting sex is all you care about,…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 04:39 AM
7

Well, look around you. Can't you see how many men there are who aren't attractive at all, but are still in happy relationships? That describes the majority of the people I know. Honestly, no offense, but your personality is what you need to work on. You come across as really shallow, you're preoccupied with appearances and your pastime is rating people's looks on a 1-10 scale. Don't you think any girl you date would feel insecure dating someone who was so judgmental?
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 04:16 AM
5

So.... because women don't want to be treated like sex objects, they are instigating the rise of an authoritarian state where women are subjugated?
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 04:06 AM
6

I looked at your post history and obviously you have a lot of insecurities about your appearance. I absolutely know what that's like and I can relate to you. I had an eating disorder for years, and I spent every day obsessing about physical appearance, comparing myself to others, hating everything about my body. It sounds like you are experiencing some of the same pain. Try not to let it consume you. You need a supportive community that's NOT in the mansophere that you can talk to about your anx…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 04:01 AM
3

Nobody is disputing that super hot people have it way easier. So what's your point?
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 03:04 AM
1

He WILL just lie to you. Yes, the journals are old, but so is your BF and he was a fully-formed 30-year-old adult when he wrote it. I would never be comfortable having a relationship with someone who had ever held those views, mayyyybe if they were like 14 at the time, but not 30. This means he habitually cheated on women throughout his 20s. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I know it's tempting to seek answers but you already have all the evidence you need, and if you confront him, you are only…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 02:58 AM
4

Ok, so play devil's advocate then. What's the devil's reply?
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 02:53 AM
12

With men it's about getting the most attractive woman to marry. A lot of men (not me) only marry in order to secure consistent sex from a woman they consider insanely attractive. Even if that were true, how is that any less shallow than what you accuse women of?
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 02:18 AM
20

Literally everyone is drawn to physical attractiveness and social status. Old, young, men, women. Why shouldn't they be? As for dark triad psychopathy, a lot of people fall for abusers because abusers are narcissistic people who are very manipulative and will say/do whatever they can to control their abuse-ee... but that's not something that any good person would want to emulate. Is all of this rooted in concern about being cheated on? Because there's no way to ever guarantee that your partner w…
/r/ExRedPill14/06/20 02:12 AM
1

We're talking about casual sex, not relationships. ​ Most people desire sex and relationships and feelings of reciprocated love. So which is it? Are you just talking about casual sex, or intimate companionship and love?
/r/ExRedPill07/06/20 04:37 AM
1

Not having sex is even easier than not having relationships. Some people go a lifetime without it.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/20 05:20 PM
6

This is a great post but I was surprised that you brought up Out of the FOG in the exredpill sub and didn't mention how TRP teaches so many abusive/PD traits. If you read TRP's advice and then compare it to the list of personality-disordered traits, it's easy to see that TRP is a how-to guide for having a personality disorder. It surprised me that you instead presented TRP as a valid stepping stone.
/r/ExRedPill06/06/20 12:08 AM
3

What does that have to do with the red pill? And are you asking for advice?
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 12:37 AM
3

Yes, there is a fourth group "fearful-avoidant" that's usually included in adult attachment models, but because it's less common, Amir Levine leaves it out of the book "Attached" and I thought it best to leave it out here for simplicity's sake. From Wikipedia: Fearful/unresolved/cannot classify attachment patterns of behaviour are demonstrated by those possessing an unstable fluctuating/unstable view of self and others.[13] People with losses or other trauma, such as sexual abuse in childhood an…
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 03:54 PM
0

The most popular book on this topic is "Attached" by Amir Levine. There is a chapter about how to tell a person's attachment style. But basically you can tell someone's attachment style based on how they answer this question: In short, Hazan and Shaver asked research subjects to read the three paragraphs listed below, and indicate which paragraph best characterized the way they think, feel, and behave in close relationships: A. I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficu…
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 02:26 PM
8

There is a lot of psychological research to support adult attachment theory; the idea that people are either "secure," "anxious," or "avoidant" when it comes to relationships. For example, MRI scans show that people who have "anxious" attachment styles (if it's not self-explanatory, these people are insecure in relationships and always want more from their partner) have much different neurological responses to certain stimuli than "avoidant" people do, and vice versa. I say all of this to explai…
/r/ExRedPill12/05/20 02:09 PM
1

Sounds like something someone would say if they couldn't defend their argument.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 07:49 AM
1

If your opinion was so logical, you would be able to explain it and respond to my point with an actual substantive argument instead of resorting to petty insults.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 07:13 AM
6

I liked your post, but you must be able to see that this I see what men and women do, and I make my opinions based on those actions Contradicts this I don't believe in Broad Generalizations There are 7.6 billion people on earth, that's roughly 3.8 billion people of each gender. There's nothing broader than reducing a person to a characteristic based on a trait that they share with 3.8 billion other people.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/20 04:35 AM
9

An abusive relationship is one where one person has all of the power and uses it to control and degrade the other. This results in the abused partner feeling worthless, depressed, anxious, insecure, and powerless. Refer to the sidebar "How To Train Your Bitch" (they don't even try to hide it) for the step-by-step guide. Step one, for example, is "give her orders." That's the definition of "controlling." Then there's pump-and-dump and dread game. The goal is to dehumanize women, to take away thei…
/r/ExRedPill05/04/20 10:21 PM
31

I was on reddit way before they closed down the incel subs. The hate for women has always been there, and it didn't originate on reddit, before that it was on manosphere sites, and before the internet even existed misogyny proliferated in the world. For The Red Pill, it's fundamental to the whole philosophy and it's the same manipulation tactic that cults use: villainize the "out-group" to increase in-group cohesion. Misogyny has been around since way before the internet. The idea that women are…
/r/ExRedPill05/04/20 02:08 PM
55

It teaches men to hate and abuse women.
/r/ExRedPill05/04/20 12:44 PM
9

As a woman, I have the same feelings about men. I don't hate them but it's hard to believe any of them don't lie and cheat. Relationships aren't worth it, even sex isn't worth it, and I think I'm much happier by myself.
/r/ExRedPill02/04/20 04:44 PM
7

I can't tell if this is satire? You're basically reinforcing everything that TRP believes because you are reducing men's value to their fitness level, income, and status. That's exactly what they think that women care about. They value and strive to achieve those things because they think women are shallow materialistic creatures who only care about looks and money. Your post is just one big confirmation of that. You are sending the message "men should meet the definition of stereotypical mascul…
/r/ExRedPill13/03/20 10:31 PM
1

Well, I don't see a point in ascribing to any philosophy if you don't have tangible courses of action. That's the whole point. For example, to go back to what I mentioned earlier, I think that "feminine" professions should be considered as valuable, and paid on par with, STEM professions. I think that men and women should be given equal maternity/paternity leave so that neither is assumed to be the primary caregiver, women aren't expected to put their careers on hold and men aren't viewed as sec…
/r/ExRedPill12/03/20 01:26 AM
1

That's very abstract, and obviously true, but what practical solutions are you suggesting?
/r/ExRedPill12/03/20 12:45 AM
1

I think we are actually agreeing. We just have different definitions of equality. Everyone's struggles are different, life is subjective, and you can't compare apples and oranges. Someone who is in a wheelchair has different problems than someone who just got fired from their job, but that doesn't mean their problems are "unequal." Look at me and OP, how are our problems so different? I could have written his post myself if flipped the pronouns.
/r/ExRedPill12/03/20 12:35 AM
1

I disagree. The world is not equal, but in modern US society I don't think one gender has it better than the other, I think that we all face challenges based on gender stereotypes. Feminists believe masculinity is considered better than femininity by society but both men and women suffer from that, for example, how STEM fields are more respected than "feminine" fields such as the humanities and human services (child care, care for the elderly, social work) even though society needs both. I under…
/r/ExRedPill12/03/20 12:18 AM
2

The root of all of this is your self esteem, right? You don't say how old you are, but regardless, you don't have anything to be ashamed of. Everyone has struggles in life, everyone's journey is different. I can relate. After I graduated college I developed major social anxiety and ended up living with my parents, NEET, doing basically nothing with my life for 2+ years (if it matters, I'm a woman). I felt overwhelming guilt about it every morning, noon, and night. But in retrospect, even though …
/r/ExRedPill11/03/20 11:17 PM
1

Ok, but that's central to their whole philosophy. They believe that women are child-like subhumans who are incapable of reason and that relationships between men and women are inherently antagonistic. Judging by your comment history, you are more aligned with menslib groups, as you are concerned about issues effecting men but want equality overall.
/r/ExRedPill08/03/20 02:41 PM
1

You are saying, if I understand correctly, that you are a RP'er and you believe in what they argue for. That's what they argue for.... male domination, female subordination.
/r/ExRedPill08/03/20 02:16 PM
3

My dad was a tyrannical asshole and my mother stayed with him due to her own weak minded daddy issues So you think the solution to this problem is to continue to replicate this dynamic where the man has all of the power in the relationship and the woman is subordinate? That's what RP men argue for, and that's what ruined your own family. Where's the disconnect here? My parents have been happily married for 30 years in their gender egalitarian marriage.
/r/ExRedPill08/03/20 02:11 PM
4

Sure maybe, but a lot of them abhor marriage and kids. They really just want power and control, and if they do want marriage it’s because it’s is a means to get that, not the end goal.
/r/ExRedPill08/03/20 01:27 PM
35

I suspect most RP’ers grew up in traditional homes themselves, where the primary caregiver was their mother, and it led them to hate their mother and see her as overbearing and worship their absent father because they always wanted more of him. So, they figure their own kids will grow up to worship them too, and that’s all they really care about, and if the woman ends up doing all the grunt work AND getting hated by the kids it’s a win-win to them.
/r/ExRedPill07/03/20 01:04 PM
4

Appearance isn't objective. In order for something to be beautiful or ugly there needs to be someone there to perceive it as such. People judge things based on how they make us feel.
/r/ExRedPill07/02/20 02:31 AM
12

> You can call it whatever you want but if a woman cant be ethical and loyal that's unethical. You're missing the point. You can't logically claim both that (1) morality does not exist therefore TRPers don't need to act morally (which TRP claims in its sidebar) and (2) women must act morally. Those contradict each other. Either morality exists and everyone must act morally, or it doesn't exist and nobody has to. If it does exist, then it is certainly not moral to claim that people don't deserve …
/r/ExRedPill02/02/20 11:06 AM
1

I think you should tell her everything. Tell her about the redpill. Tell her that you gave it up for her and now she's proving it right. Ask her if she thinks that you need to be that way in order to be attractive to her. What do you have to lose? You want an honest relationship right?
/r/ExRedPill06/11/19 02:09 AM
36

When making such a broad generalization as "all women like to serve men in sex," you don't really need to find empirical data, you can just talk to actual women, most of whom would be insulted by a statement like that. Sure, most women like to please their partners. They also like to be pleased. Go to any internet forum about sex and you'll find women complaining about men who don't eat pussy, men who don't do enough foreplay, men who don't try to make them come. You'll find women complaining ab…
/r/ExRedPill05/11/19 10:13 PM
3

It's not really fair to the woman involved here for you to go out with her while you still have these feelings. If she knew you thought that, she probably wouldn't want to date you, so you are deceiving her. These types of thoughts and feelings don't go away overnight. Your brain has been trained to confirm stereotypes and disregard counter examples. You will need to change your patterns of thinking. First of all, re-examine your core beliefs. How do you even define a "slut," and what is so wron…
/r/ExRedPill02/10/19 02:46 AM
6

What is it that I'm missing that is preventing me from enjoying success with women. I'm just taking a guess here, but could it be conversational skills? Relationships begin with a series of conversations: you have a conversation with a girl before you ask her out, you have conversations over text when you're getting to know each other, you have conversations on your dates. And holding one's own in a conversation can be challenging for anyone. It seems like you're in a paradox where you're overth…
/r/ExRedPill25/08/19 12:59 AM
6

Morality is the guiding structure through which society is able to function. Amoral means free of moral influence, as all science should be in order to reach the true. Morality is fundamental to science. Science is great but its only purpose is to help humanity, and the world in general. If it does more harm than good, it has no purpose. Science needs morality in order to determine how to do good, so that it can be useful. When the lion hunts the sheep, you don't say it is bad, it is just how it…
/r/ExRedPill19/08/19 02:21 PM
3

> TRP is not against women. It is an amoral, male centered way of thinking on what women are looking for, If your life philosophy is that morality is bad and that you shouldn't have to empathize with people or treat others as how you would like to be treated, that's the textbook definition of being a bad person. Every religion in the world has some version of the Golden Rule, because it's just basic common sense and it's absolutely fundamental to society and healthy human relationships. It is mi…
/r/ExRedPill19/08/19 02:08 PM
4

I'm a woman and it deeply hurts me to read TRP, but that's because I know how wrong they are and it outrages me that they can sit around smugly justifying their warped view of reality. It makes me doubt humanity and depresses me. But it definitely doesn't make me doubt myself or other women. I wonder why it does for you? You're living proof that TRP is wrong. TRP sees women as walking vaginas with emotions and no brain. You have a very challenging career that requires intelligence and physical p…
/r/ExRedPill19/08/19 01:53 PM
2

I feel sorry for those guys. It seems like, out of all the incel subreddits, foreveralone is the least toxic (ie. least angry, violent, hateful, misogynistic). Loneliness can be just as destructive to a personal's well-being as starvation or illness, and their problems are real and they need help. I can see that a lot of posts on there can be harmful to the members, and people do tend to project their own insecurities onto others and bring each other down. But they do sometimes lift each other u…
/r/ExRedPill16/08/19 11:52 AM
2

It’s simply a matter of perspective. Instead of allowing yourself to fall into certain habits and routines because they are comfortable and stubbornly clinging to them (the “this is who I am” approach), take time to reflect on your actions and what they’re doing for/to you, and others. For example, am I staying in bed today I had a really rough week at work and I need a break (which is ok) or would it actually help me more to go out and socialize with my friends and build those relationships eve…
/r/ExRedPill15/08/19 11:14 AM
1

I definitely agree that people should recognize their own needs, communicate their needs to others, and make sure that their needs get met. However, the idea that people have a “true self” is something that is criticized a lot by philosophers and psychologists. Research shows that people’s behaviors vary wildly based on the environment that they are placed in. For example, in the famous Stanford prison experiment, otherwise-docile students acted cruel and heartless to their fellow students when …
/r/ExRedPill14/08/19 06:25 PM
7

Of course you have to change yourself, everyone should always try to improve themselves. If you have such ingrained biases against women, it isn’t fair to date or hook up with them until you’ve gotten that sorted out, because you’ll only end up hurting them. You need therapy.
/r/ExRedPill13/08/19 07:34 AM
5

Virtually most women lie about partner count, that sweet innocent woman who acts modest probably has slept around to some degree So? What do you think is wrong with a woman sleeping around? Women have a right to enjoy sex just as much as men do. If you equate a woman's value with her sexuality, you are reducing her to a sex toy, instead of enjoying the whole picture: her intelligence, her sense of humor, her interests, her character... these are the things that should matter most to you. Sexual …
/r/ExRedPill28/06/19 11:31 AM
2

Maybe you should try asking women and actually trusting us? I'm a woman and I can tell you I have always had an extremely high sex drive. I crave sex and think about it constantly, and have masturbated multiple times daily since I was pre-pubescent. My sex drive is one of my favorite things about myself, because it gives me so much pleasure and satisfaction. I don't use sex to get anything, sex is the end goal, the ULTIMATE goal, the thing that makes life bearable.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/19 04:44 PM
1

Red pill philosophy: men tend to seek partners outside of their relationship Men should embrace their biological sexual strategy. It's biological manifest destiny! We owe it to ourselves to fulfill our natural inclination to seek out as many partners as possible women tend to seek partners outside of their relationship Those horrible hypergamous females! They can't be trusted.
/r/ExRedPill21/05/19 04:38 PM
2

You have reached a point of true self awareness and honest self reflection. You have clearly come to see things as they really are, and it takes a lot of courage to admit some of these things to yourself, but there is freedom in recognizing your flaws and allowing yourself to be human. It's very interesting that doing psychedelics triggered your awakening. It seems like those drugs could have taken you in a lot of different directions, but you had the reaction you did because you always knew the…
/r/ExRedPill21/05/19 12:40 PM
1

You were clearly unpopular in school and come from a bad family which has caused you mental health problems. But you do not deserve sympathy for that as we all have problems to overcome.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 05:35 PM
1

Wow great counter argument. So thoughtful. Get therapy.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/19 04:55 PM
2

Wisdom comes from real life first hand experience, not from reading other people's opinions online. It sounds trite, but try practicing mindfulness and empathy. Become a well-rounded person with a developed inner life where you enjoy your time whether or not other people are present. Go out for a walk and try to focus on the beauty of the moment. Listen to music you really enjoy. Walk around your town and try eating at a new place or seeing a comedy show or taking a metalsmithing class. In inter…
/r/ExRedPill29/04/19 01:23 PM
1

How would you feel if there were a female equivalent to MGTOW (Or MGTOW 2)?
/r/ExRedPill25/04/19 11:30 AM
1

Why? Why do you so desperately need a cult to tell you how to think and act? Why can't you just figure it out yourself like a normal person
/r/ExRedPill25/04/19 10:53 AM
1

work on yourself before you try to work on the world. That's just basic common sense. You don't need to be part of a woman-hating cult to diet and exercise.
/r/ExRedPill23/04/19 09:55 PM
6

I think that's like a black person dating a member of the KKK and saying "it's okay, they just are afraid black people are going to rob them, they don't think they're subordinate." It's inherently bigoted to make negative generalizations about entire groups of people, and no person who truly valued equality (or had basic common sense) would be able to read TRP's philosophy and not run screaming.
/r/ExRedPill21/04/19 12:22 AM
9

Do you really think you can have an equitable relationship with someone who thinks he is superior to you based on your gender? Someone who thinks that you are obligated to conform to traditional gender roles and be his maid and fucktoy, who thinks that you are untrustworthy, that you are like a child, that all your well-meaning actions are really "shit tests," that you are constantly secretly looking for a better mate, all because you are a woman? You know that people who have been in abusive re…
/r/ExRedPill20/04/19 10:50 PM
4

Depression is just as important to treat as any other health condition. What do you do currently to help yourself? What needs do you have that aren't being met? Therapy, self care, exercise/diet/sleep, mindfulness, music, writing, and making small changes in your daily habits to incorporate those things can all be good places to start.
/r/ExRedPill16/04/19 02:28 AM
21

I had a psych professor who said that anger is a coping mechanism that we use to protect ourselves from our real feelings. Maybe you are feeling hurt, or depressed, drained, not good enough, alone... or something else that is causing you to need to protect yourself emotionally. The next time you get angry, try to understand why, and don't be mad at yourself about it, just recognize that you are feeling _____ and that's ok.
/r/ExRedPill16/04/19 01:50 AM
18

The affection she was feeling towards you after you pulled away wasn't real, it was just fear of losing you. Real attraction and love doesn't fade away so easily. I agree a little drama can be exciting, but there's a thin line between drama and being emotionally manipulative.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 03:29 AM
10

I think it's best to mirror your partner. If she pulls away, you pull away. If she seems into you, show affection. People's desires ebb and flow, and the more your partner feels like you feel similarly to however she is feeling, the more she will feel like the two of you are ultimately on the same page and therefore compatible. This is not a gender thing, by the way. It's true for men and women. Nobody wants to feel smothered or unloved, it's all about striking a balance.
/r/ExRedPill27/03/19 03:12 AM
25

Congratulations! You're in a happy and healthy relationship with someone you love, who loves you back. It's something to be happy about. My boyfriend cries around me all the time. It makes me feel LUCKY that I get to be the person that he opens up to like that. It makes me feel closer to him. It makes me feel special that he shares his feelings with me. It lets me know how important his feelings are. If someone really cares about you, they want to be the shoulder that you cry on. Don't let TRP d…
/r/ExRedPill19/03/19 12:28 PM
2

how does any of this "logically follow what I said"? OP: RP made me unhappy because even though women were attracted to me, I couldn't form emotional attachments to them because RP philosophy made me insecure You: RP worked because it made women attracted to you OP/me: No, because OP was ultimately unhappy despite greater success at attracting women (which he did using basic logic, not woman-hating). You: But... attraction! ??? See how that doesn't make sense? You are now talking about PUA stuff…
/r/ExRedPill07/03/19 10:44 PM
2

It’s a question that doesn’t logically follow what I said. My whole point was that attraction is only the first step and means nothing if you can’t enjoy a happy relationship.
/r/ExRedPill07/03/19 06:17 PM
3

What? Did you even read my comment?
/r/ExRedPill07/03/19 06:14 PM
6

If you think that the only problem when it comes to dating is getting women to be attracted to you, you obviously haven’t gotten that far when it comes to dating. There’s no point in attracting partners if you can’t follow through with it by having a happy and healthy relationship, which a person can NOT do when they view dating as oppositional.
/r/ExRedPill07/03/19 06:01 PM
1

Hmm. It's very odd to me that you have this perception. Generally, the stereotype is the exact opposite; men prefer younger women, and women prefer older men. Look at pop culture: most movies and tv shows depict relationships with male actors who are in their 40s-50s dating female actresses who are in their 20s. It's very hard for female actresses to get roles as a love interest when they are over 30, but male actors like george cloony are considered sexy well into their 50s. In celebrity relati…
/r/ExRedPill24/02/19 08:56 PM
1

I recommend NOT looking for an alternative ideology to latch onto (not that you've mentioned wanting this, but a certain comment in this thread kind of suggests it). I don't think you should continue to participate in the RP narrative by reading about people who have gotten out of it, either. Just back slowly away from the computer and stay away from it for a while. Reducing my screen time has seriously improved my mental health and happiness. Like someone else ITT, I think it would probably be …
/r/ExRedPill21/02/19 11:17 PM
4

Citation needed
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 11:33 PM
7

You're exactly right. The forums are toxic and the positive information is common sense. At its core, TRP is for narcissists who don't care about anyone except themselves. Sounds like you see through their BS
/r/ExRedPill06/02/19 02:23 AM
2

I didn't vote on your comment. Guess I took it the wrong way, my bad. :)
/r/ExRedPill03/02/19 10:54 PM
2

@doyouconsideryourselfafeminist Care to point out a post where she does this? I went and took a quick look but I didn't see anything to persuade me that it is TRP-y. Even if there's some post on there that says "Fuck all men" or something (and I do acknowledge those exist), that's nothing compared to the novels that redpillers post about how to manipulate women, why women are evil (AWALT), why men are biologically superior to women, and so forth. I've read dozens of the most popular feminist lit…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/19 10:48 PM
9

Sure, shallow people exist on both sides, but can you even imagine if there was a female equivalent to TRP? A subreddit where women preach that "all men are like that," share tips for exploiting men, and talk about how men are biologically inferior and have the mental capacity of children? You were obviously hurt by OP's post... imagine seeing thousands of posts like that on a daily basis, and how hurt that would make you feel. That's what OP is experiencing.
/r/ExRedPill03/02/19 06:48 PM
11

I feel similarly, to an extent. I have a job I love, a boyfriend I love, hobbies I enjoy... but almost every day when I'm at work or the gym, I find my mind wandering to RPers and Incels and Nice Guys and the Alt-Right and my hatred for them. They disgust me, they are wrong about everything, and sometimes it's all I think about during the day, even though I know that focusing on hatred so much is not good for my mental health. Honestly, to some extent, I think all of my (our) anger is a reasonab…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/19 06:31 PM
7

Why are you even bothering to try to find needles of truth in a haystack of lies? Just go somewhere else for your relationship advice, somewhere that doesn't teach you to hate the people you're supposed to form healthy relationships with.
/r/ExRedPill03/02/19 06:10 PM
3

I think you would be interested in attachment theory. It basically groups people based into 4 categories of relationship-style based on their relationship with their primary caregiver in infancy (secure, anxious-preocupied, anxious-avoidant, fearful-avoidant). There is solid psychological research to back up this theory, including cross-cultural research, and research on how people's attachment style effects them through adolecence and into adulthood. TRP is dismissive-avoidant men trying to att…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/19 01:09 AM
5

TRP does not "work." The people who believe that philosophy are full of misery and hate. I know many people (coworkers, family, friends from all stages of education) who are all grown up adults in mature committed relationships and the ones that are happy are the ones who trust and respect their partner and view the partnership as a team. You simply cannot be happy if you view dating as oppositional, because you are coming at it from a negative standpoint and projecting your own negative feeling…
/r/ExRedPill07/01/19 05:42 PM
2

There is nothing special or different about having sex with a virgin, it’s purely an ego thing for men. You aren’t missing out on anything. It will still be her first time WITH YOU, and that’s what counts.
/r/ExRedPill05/12/18 06:46 PM
2

Even though it isn't her first time, it will still be her first time with you, her future husband. It will still be special and intimate. Sex is how you express your love to each other. That's all that matters. I had casual, run-of-the-mill morning sex with my partner today and it was 1000x better and more meaningful than my first time, believe me.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/18 11:45 PM
2

Ok, but you still have not explained WHY you feel this way, not in any of the 5-10ish messages we've exchanged. You gave me one reason (your future child asking about it), which I refuted, and you didn't respond so I assume you accepted my argument. All of your other reasoning has been tautological. What difference does it make if your future-wife has had sex in previous relationships or not? At least give a reason so we can unpack it.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/18 11:33 PM
1

but in emotional way it is impossible as I feel something amazing to her Can you explain what you mean by this?
/r/ExRedPill04/12/18 12:27 PM
1

Ok, that's good. Hey, I wasn't trying to be combative, just trying to help. Your post made it sound like you're upset with her, as though you think it is her fault for doing it. The key to not caring about it is by psychoanalyzing yourself and breaking apart your own logic until you see that you're upset over a non-issue.
/r/ExRedPill04/12/18 03:39 AM
3

WHY? Those are unfair double standards. Traditional gender roles come from religious brainwashing, there is no logical reason to believe in them. Do you also expect her to quit her job to be a housewife and do all your chores for you? Do you expect her to be subservient? If you are going to hold her to a sexist double standard and force her into restrictive and regressive gender roles, you should break up with her, because you don't deserve her. It sounds like you regret not having more experien…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/18 08:59 PM
2

You can, by questioning your logic and realizing that this feeling is purely emotional, not rational. Her value does not decrease just because she has lived her life and had experiences prior to being with you. It doesn't mean she loves you any less. I respect your choice to remain a virgin, but I encourage you to see that having sex with multiple people prior to marriage can be a GOOD thing. It teaches you what you do and don't like and makes you a better lover, and brightens up life by creatin…
/r/ExRedPill03/12/18 05:44 PM
3

But why? Why do you care? Her sexual history doesn't change anything. It doesn't make you less important to her. Why are you letting so many negative emotions (sadness, pain, disgust) ruin an otherwise-great relationship?
/r/ExRedPill03/12/18 02:13 AM
6

My parents have been happily married for 30 years, and when I asked my mom that question as a child, she said, "of course not, we both had lots of relationships before we met each other," and that was that. It hasn't detracted from their love at all, and it didn't detract from my perception of their relationship because I was never taught that love is only meaningful if you've ONLY ever loved that one person. It is honestly very rare for me to meet a couple who have only ever slept with each oth…
/r/ExRedPill02/12/18 06:49 PM
10

Honest question, do you believe in God? Because if you don't, there is literally no reason to give the concept of "virginity" any merit. Despite the terrible pseudoscience and /r/badwomensanatomy that you read on TRP, women's bodies do not change in any way after having sex, and first-time sex is not usually an amazing life-changing experience like society makes it out to be. First time penis-in-vagina intercourse is usually painful, awkward, and short. Sex is like anything else, it takes lots o…
/r/ExRedPill02/12/18 05:56 PM
33

This isn't the discovery channel. You can't generalize about humans the way that you might chimpanzees. Every person has a unique set of life experiences that have all added up to give them an idiosyncratic worldview. Peoples' upbringings shape their dreams, desires, and perceptions of themselves and others. To try to analyze what ALL women want just sounds silly, and psychologytoday and that youtube creator are just pandering for clicks to get revenue because they know that people want easy ans…
/r/ExRedPill08/11/18 12:43 AM
2

Would you mind sharing more about how you came to develop that mindset to begin with? I just want to better understand your perspective. What has life been like for you, generally speaking?
/r/ExRedPill08/10/16 06:08 PM
6

It seems like you're missing the point, which is that there's an important distinction between making an argument about the way that things currently are vs. making an argument about how things should be. You don't distinguish between the two in your OP. Maybe that's because TRP conflates the two; they argue, essentially, that because things are (in their opinion) X, they should be X. That's tautological. One can't come and say that equality is good because reasons. Who's said that it's just "be…
/r/ExRedPill08/10/16 01:16 AM
6

The purpose of any ideology is to describe the way that things should be. TBP (though it feels silly to refer to this as a coherent ideology since it's just a reddit thing, but you know what I mean) is premised on the abstract principles that people should be treated equally and that everyone should have equal opportunities-- not because "it feels good" but because that's the most optimal way to run society.
/r/ExRedPill07/10/16 10:03 PM
2

People who are emotionally mature are able to take a step back and objectively evaluate their own strengths and weaknesses and then improve what they can, while at the same time recognizing that nobody is perfect and it's OK to have some flaws. They're able to be honest with themselves and others because they know that it's not the end of the world if they aren't perfect all the time. They can even laugh at themselves and sometimes they can embrace their flaws.
/r/ExRedPill22/09/16 03:03 AM
1

The point of classifying it as a "feeling" is to say that it's subjective. I love broccoli because it tastes good to me. My love for broccoli is a feeling, and attraction is a feeling in the same sense.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/16 08:47 PM
1

Of course sexual preferences are subject to change. They change all the time. In the 80's, the majority of people thought this (SFW) was attractive, now we all think it looks ridiculous. What's fashionable and trendy is always changing, and that's deeply tied to what's considered attractive on a societal level. And on a personal level, who we're attracted to changes over the course of our lives based on our own individual life experiences. I'm not attracted to girls who wear the same hairstyle o…
/r/ExRedPill23/06/16 08:21 PM
5

Yes, it is just a feeling. Even if it's how the majority feels (which I don't see you pulling out any data to demonstrate), attraction is a feeling.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/16 07:55 PM
5

That's true for you. That's how feelings work. They are subjective.
/r/ExRedPill23/06/16 07:40 PM
5

Women's fertility peaks in their early 20's, not attractiveness. Attraction is highly subjective and based mostly on society and environment. This is part of why evolutionary psychology is generally not very useful (the other part being that it's not actual science).
/r/ExRedPill23/06/16 07:12 PM
6

Redpill says that women peak at 22 because they resent women and they think that demeaning women is the only way to build up their own confidence. The same goes for everything else they say about women. Anyways, everything that you just said seems to me to contradict redpill philosophy. What kind of detox are you looking for? The best advice I have is to get as far away from it as possible.
/r/ExRedPill11/06/16 04:57 AM
4

Out of curiosity, what do you think it was about those ideologies that appealed to you? You gave some examples of stuff that resonated with you, but there are so many groups of thought out there with concepts that would probably resonate... why these?
/r/ExRedPill05/06/16 03:03 PM
4

You're massively overcomplicating things. People want to be with people who are fun to be around. Make yourself fun to be around.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/16 06:47 PM
3

Ok, so that's the problem. Not that you're an "inferior and broken male," but that you get easily bored doing activities where you don't have enough positive reinforcement, and therefore you tend not to stick with things long enough to get good at them and make social connections with other people who do them.
/r/ExRedPill03/05/16 06:39 AM
12

You're doing God's work.
/r/ExRedPill18/01/16 08:48 PM
2

I think you meant to respond to /u/derper-man, tagging them so they see it
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 05:26 AM
2

I don't believe you can make people change. I don't think so either, but therapy does change people and enabling their behavior by rewarding or rationalizing it generally doesn't. You said they are not "weak" but are young/insecure/vulnerable. how are those different? Well, when you phrase it as "weak" you make it sound like a character flaw, and you phrased it as though weakness is a problem for women. The reality is that everyone is vulnerable at some point in their life, either because of cir…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 05:23 AM
3

Ok, but I think we can both agree that getting them into therapy would be more effective than slapping them back, right? And don't you think buying them a beer or trying to find "good parts" in their ideology is the exact kind of weakness that you're claiming the female partners of redpillers are guilty of? Because that's how it strikes me. In a sense I agree that many people could benefit from education about how to recognize the difference between a healthy relationship and an unhealthy one, b…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 03:51 AM
5

Its pretty much the same No, it's really not. There's no reason to get defensive. I'm just trying to understand your thought process, you're free to tell me I'm off base. People here act like TRP is just this magical evil with no source that came into being because wickedness is inherent to men or something. No, they don't, I think everyone here understand that TRP is rooted in insecurity paired with the internalization of societal messaging about masculinity and gender roles. Wickedness is cert…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 03:28 AM
5

I just chose the second bullet point randomly to give you an example, I could do that with all of them. Although breakups happen, and you need to learn to be OK with this. Nobody owes you their life, and you don't owe anybody yours This is completely different than what the second bullet point is saying. Of course when you rephrase it to remove the harmful messages and to give it a new meaning it's great advice, but it's also not redpill anymore. Why are you twisting their words to make them see…
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 02:34 AM
5

I guess I'm confused because you described the bullet points as "positive things." Though for the record, I'm not the one downvoting you. I understand that your main point is that he's coming at this from a place of insecurity and she needs to keep that in mind when she approaches him.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 02:08 AM
12

Even when you strip away the many many layers of misogyny, the "advice" they give there is at it's very best the kind of things most people learn when they're 12 and unlearn when they're 25 and begin to understand how complex the world is. Worse, they mix in obvious truths with harmful fallacies. Let's take one of your bullet points as an example: Don't be a doormat. This is a bad way of looking at relationships because it frames relationships as adversarial and reinforces the harmful idea that …
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 01:47 AM
27

Recognize that TRP as an ideology is in its purest form about becoming a better person I always find it ridiculous when people say this. If there was a radical feminist subreddit that vilified men, preached about how "all men are like that," and gave it's users instructions on how to manipulate and abuse members of the opposite sex, would you ever be able to defend it by saying that underneath all that misandry it was an ideology that was ultimately about helping people?
/r/ExRedPill07/12/15 01:21 AM
12

Glad you got lots of rest! We must live in very different places because it's almost my bedtime. I'm sorry if it sounded like I was implying that you aren't passionate about your interests, I can genuinely assure you that wasn't what I was thinking. It's just that you don't sound very happy in your post, and I know that personally I've struggled with depression all my life and I spent years trying to use relationships to make me happier, until I had an epiphany and realized that they couldn't. I…
/r/ExRedPill19/11/15 06:57 AM
8

Woah, dude. You sound pretty stressed right now in comparison to the tone of your other posts, maybe you should take a breather. Are you doing ok? How was your day today?
/r/ExRedPill19/11/15 06:21 AM
1

I suggest that you read the advice that was given to OP in this thread and take it under consideration.
/r/ExRedPill14/11/15 10:10 PM
29

There's no such thing as hypergamy. Everyone, regardless of gender, is going to want to date someone who is passionate about what they do and who has ambition, because nobody wants to share their life with someone who is perpetually unhappy or unfulfilled. Relationships are partnerships. 50/50. To have a good one, you need to go out and find your own happiness first, and then find someone in life who wants to share in your joy and your sorrow.
/r/ExRedPill13/11/15 06:42 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear that. :(
/r/ExRedPill13/11/15 04:51 PM
5

Bravo!
/r/ExRedPill03/11/15 11:52 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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