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secretladyaccount Archive

View 1 post and 126 comments by secretladyaccount on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

DISCUSSIONsecretladyaccount/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 01:02 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yes, and? Ableism kills people, but I would still say with exasperation that it's ridiculous that people have to deal with it. My comment was against the use of the phrase. I don't have any problem with people doing the studies once necessitated, it's just unfortunate that they ARE necessary.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 10:31 AM
6

Interesting. However the last comment was unnecessary-- you're aware that this post was made by a woman and the commenters are all women, yes?
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:38 AM
4

It's ridiculous that this "man flu" thing has become so memetic as to have warranted multiple scientific inquiries under the same name.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:37 AM
4

Having taken medical testosterone before, I can confirm that there are DEFINITE hormonal differences in pain perception. My experience was not related to illness, but I noticed for example that hitting things with my hands did not hurt my hands hardly at all.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:36 AM
0

Are you saying that you think men claim to be ill when they are not, or more ill than they are? I don't totally understand your meaning (no tone intended, please read this comment literally).
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:34 AM
1

I'm only one data point, but have very low empathy so I'll comment about my feelings on these situations. I dislike when people talk about being in some bad situation without making it clear what they want me to do about the thing. I feel like they're trapping me with their misery. I also dislike when people "act it out"-- e.g. if someone is just like "Hey, I have a really bad headache, I'm gonna go home" that doesn't bother me-- sucks that you have a headache, ttyl! But when someone's like "ohh…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:33 AM
3

My theory is that men are less likely to admit it / slow down when sick, so the only sicknesses of theirs that are visible to others are severe ones, thus making it appear that 100% of their illnesses are perceived by them as severe rather than there being a filtration bias. I have a chronic illness and thus pay special attention to how ablebodied people act around illness and temporary disability, and I have not at all observed that men are whinier about illness than anyone else. I concur; the …
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:30 AM
1

I'm just trying to understand your comment in the most literal sense of understand (as in, understand what you're saying). Sorry if you are irritated, I will disengage.
/r/RedPillWives09/09/19 02:51 AM
1

What do you mean it falls flat-- what does? The whole concept? (And what difference does RP culture conformity have to do with the accuracy of the descriptions, internet or no?)
/r/RedPillWives08/09/19 06:28 AM
1

RP is for normies I disagree. RP is a theory of gender dynamics, not a prescription for lifestyle. It's an ontology.
/r/RedPillWives07/09/19 08:28 AM
2

I think they just mean "unusual of constitution", not like "this person is utterly broken", lol. I describe myself affectionately as "kinda fucked up" and that's how I interpret that comment rather than as a true insult.
/r/RedPillWives07/09/19 08:25 AM
1

Welp, it's your call of course. I agree that someone shouldn't save me from myself, but I expect to have total discretion over things like my university subject and degree path without punishment. I guess I just can't imagine relationships based on anything but personal chemistry. I get that some people match up more based on life path, but I'm not like that. I went to grad school; my man dropped out of HS. To each their own as long as it's not interfering with my finances.
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/19 08:22 AM
1

If she's not monog, she may have poor intuition as to appropriate behavior and just be flirting with him naturally because she likes him. I think you should just tell her nicely that you guys are monog and that her behavior makes you uncomfortable.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 09:51 AM
4

I agree, I'm concerned that once you get there he'll just put it off indefinitely.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 09:47 AM
2

Hmm. I do think it's dangerous to be the one driving the proposal/marriage. I would be frightened to feel like I was forcing it. I honestly think there's MORE risk of a breakup with this hanging over his head-- but I'm paranoid about being needy, so maybe don't listen to me. I think you should evaluate the Germany thing as far as whether you are into the idea for its own sake. I wouldn't move FOR HIM without marriage if that's what you need to feel secure, but if you actually want to then I say …
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 09:44 AM
5

Monogamy being requisite (if you TRULY don't want that; no one should be forced into nonmonog but I would be miserable monog), and the appropriate timeline for marriage. The majority of people in my immediate family dated their partner for over 10 years before marrying, and I am very likely to do the same. I think that by say year 4 or 5 you need to be on the same PAGE about eventual marriage and family life, but it doesn't necessarily need to happen right then.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 05:47 AM
5

>I asked him how he'd feel if I just got my MA and didn't do the dissertation. He made it very clear that if I dropped out, that would be a dealbreaker. Wow, that's really hurtful imo. What would happen if you had to for some reason? (Medical crisis, family emergency, etc.)
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 05:43 AM
6

I agree, that's very said. I have a graduate degree in a lucrative field and my partner dropped out of HS and does manual labor for a living, but he is THE most educated and the smartest person I know. No one has ever said anything to me about it, but if they did, they would rapidly discover that I don't give a single damn. (I did ask him to go get his GED just in case he needed it for some job thing later, and he did.)
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 05:40 AM
1

What's your field? I dropped out of a math PhD (have my MA though) due to sudden-onset disability.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/19 05:36 AM
1

>>I would be careful trying to trade up with no other prospect in sight >I don't understand..are you saying that if I've identified someone else that has the qualities i think I'm looking for that I should just throw it all out the window and pursue? I'm so confused by this. Sorry, I was unclear. I'm saying that you should evaluate the relationship and your satisfaction from it in and of itself-- is it acceptable to you, or not, and is it fixable, or not. It is impossible to know what else is ou…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 10:10 AM
2

>OMG it's you again! In the flesh~
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 10:08 AM
2

>For example, he ran a red light the other day and I thought it was the hottest thing ever just becuae I know that's against his moral compass (he's high strung about obeying traffic laws) Riddle me this, what if he just didn't give a shit about obeying traffic laws-- would that be equally hot, or is it only the fact that he's acting out of character? And does he have to be going AGAINST his own morality, or just throwing caution to the wind? Like what if it was out of character but he didn't th…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 10:03 AM
1

I don't want to push a stranger to divorce, but IF it were true that you never should have married him and it were unfixable, THEN I would say divorce. You're only 28, you could have another 60 years in you. Don't waste your only life.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 10:00 AM
3

that's not a representative sample though, that's people who are having enough difficulty that they're on a special subreddit for it.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 09:57 AM
1

(PM)
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 09:53 AM
3

>he woke me up at 5am to tell me that I left the fridge open LOL.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 09:52 AM
1

I'll tell you about my situation on PM, it's a long and personal story. But the short story for everyone else is that we were set up by a mutual friend when he was 18 and I was 22 and now we're 26 and 30, and we do TPE (total power exchange). He's a manual laborer and I'm a mathematician / data scientist. We're also polyamorous and have been this whole time. We met through a mutual friend and we naturally had chemistry. We didn't have to purposely spice things up or anything, we just riff off ea…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 09:45 AM
1

honestly, even if you do have BPD, you don't want that in your records unless you absolutely need a dx for your insurance to approve some kind of special treatment. a lot of people are hesitant to dx bc of the stigma, and rightfully so. there is EXTREME stigma against BPD and it can lead to a lot of abuse from medical professionals and a high risk of repeated institutionalization since they're all scared of their patient killing themself (most doctors, like most romantic partners, do not know ho…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 09:39 AM
1

I think a lot of men in states where this is possible are not aware of the option of surrendering paternity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/19 08:54 AM
4

Lol!
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 08:52 AM
1

I agree with this sentiment in general, but man, I don't think I want to bring this practice to math/CS. If someone talks to me about a math or tech problem I'm gonna give em my two cents, can't help myself. Gotta keep the social stuff out of that and stick to the content or we lose our last paradise. That's why I don't date in my own field. That said, I've been trying it with relationship issues, and it seems to be working.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 08:51 AM
2

Girl, you are Cluster-B as fuck and need to hook up with someone on "the dark side of Cluster-B" (or an autistic man who isn't self-conscious about it), period. I hope you take this to heart and don't piddle your life away splashing around in the normie pool. I am exactly the same way in that someone needs to be VERY self-serving and bold to maintain my attention.
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 02:15 AM
1

Hon, no. Something can be traumatic in origin without being inherently pathological. A lot of people with trauma backgrounds are empaths from it, and that's not morally wrong. You just need to get involved with someone who likes you how you are. I don't see anything inherently broken or toxic in this post, just a personality mismatch. I agree that you shouldn't have married THIS MAN, but that's all. Please don't do this to yourself, self-loathing is just going to spiral you worse. I also find it…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 02:09 AM
2

Honestly, if she's prone to distraction and impulsive flings, and he can't handle it, it wasn't meant to be anyway. She shouldn't have gotten into a contract she couldn't uphold, but ultimately neither one of them is wrong for having that personality type. Hopefully she can find someone that makes her equally happy who is nonmonog. I'm like that (fling-prone) and my partner thinks it's funny/cute, and it doesn't bother him at all (he's the same way). We could be out there doing massive psycholog…
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 02:04 AM
1

Eh, I've dated lots and lotssss of people with borderline and they don't always cheat or sleep with other people (and I'm poly, so someone would have no reason to conceal from me that they wanted to sleep with other people; I would encourage it). In fact, all of the most anti-cheating, monogamy-obsessed, would-sooner-die-than-cheat people I know have borderline (this actually prevented me from dating someone who was my #1 crush for years-- after all that pining, it turned out she liked me back, …
/r/RedPillWives05/09/19 01:57 AM
2

I agree, actually. I think it's overwhelmingly likely that he does not understand how serious it is for her though or he would probably be trying to do something else to reassure her etc. For that reason I don't think it constitutes a trust breach as he has not actually done anything dishonorable; it seems like a possible miscommunication. The other path is that he might very well know what's up and be doing it for her psychological growth. Ballsy move, but that's the nature of the game... Only …
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:44 PM
1

>After a while, he meets another girl (mind you, she is not necessarily prettier or nicer to him) and they get in a relationship almost immediately, while you are once again left wondering what is wrong with you and why you are never seen as a “girlfriend material”. Yep. When I got together with my partner a girl literally tried to kill herself over this exact situation (they were fwb / romantic friendship and she was thinking it would lead to being gf/bf I guess) and wound up in inpatient psych…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/19 01:38 PM
2

Yikes.
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:34 PM
1

I agree that you shouldn't stir up problems for no reason and that stability in the relationship is desirable/necessary, and that the restlessness is from within. However, a compatible partner with a similar circumstance can be a source of mutual novelty, stimulation, and growth. It doesn't have to be drama AGAINST them (so to speak), it can just be hijinks WITH them.
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:32 PM
1

Weird question, but do you have some kind of Cluster-B personality disorder (e.g. borderline) and he doesn't? Because I do have one and frankly I could never be with a "normie", EVER. They just do not have the same risk tolerance and need for novelty. I have been just about bored to suicide every time I have tried, and they treat me like a freak. Hurtful, invalidating, AND boring.
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:30 PM
1

I'm gonna be totally real with you, having read through the comments I don't think you're in love with him, and I think you know it. Him being a great guy isn't enough for marriage. You need to be in love too, and it sounds like you never were. I've had offers of marriage from FAR more "stable/successful/nice" men than my partner (prior to him, that is) and not been interested because we didn't have the chemistry, and there have been times that I was like "Am I crazy? I could have a charmed life…
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:23 PM
1

Sorry for three replies, but-- I encourage you to ask yourself what you REALLY need here. It sounds like at the very base of this the problem isn't makeup but you needing reassurance about your looks. Maybe you could just solicit that. It would be different if makeup were a hobby and that's why you wanted to do it, but... I kinda have to wonder if he's not putting you through this because he knows you have a complex and is trying to make you get over it.
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:14 PM
2

I haven't told mine that I'm doing more of the femininity stuff, I'm gonna just see if he notices by himself. I love Mrs. Midwest as well, and I read FW and The Surrendered Wife so far (SW didn't really apply very much, I felt-- that seems to be for women who are emasculating their husbands right and left) but that's pretty much it as far as The Classics. I think he would like that I'm doing it but I want to see if "it works" without prompting first. (He doesn't supervise what kind of content I …
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:12 PM
2

>So maybe I can frame it in terms of a ritual that helps me be a good focused girl for him. See, this is where I blew things up in my own face one time. We had a conflict over some shit, and I had my own reasons but I tried to frame it as oh, it'll make me a better sub, and he flipped a shit that I was imposing on what constituted a better sub or not which is his decision/call only. Admittedly he had some emotional issues back then, but still, I wouldn't do it again even to this day. At the time…
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 01:09 PM
2

OP said she's in a TPE relationship. That's BDSM total power exchange. That's why she said "lets".
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 12:51 PM
3

>to me that's a breach of the respect and trust I dunno-- just overriding someone's preference in TPE is not a breach (I'm not saying you don't know about TPE, I'm just disagreeing with your assessment). I would say it is one if the thing actually does her some grave harm, but the burden would be on her to show that there should be an exception, not the other way around, unless the harm is so urgent that she doesn't reasonably have time to show this and will have to do so in retrospect. Examples…
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 12:48 PM
2

Omg, I do TPE too, and we're also not monog! I don't feel like I can talk about it on some of these subs though, and I'm not involved with the "kink community" at all IRL. Please feel free to PM me, I would love a TPE friend. So first of all, is this just his PREFERENCE, or is it a direct order? Because if it's not a direct order, I would just go for it and let him not like it. If you're TPE, he can forbid it if he feels that strongly. You don't have to flex his authority for him, he can do it i…
/r/RedPillWives04/09/19 12:36 PM
1

Good call.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:42 AM
3

Not really, because saggy tits are often a marker of old age (poor skin elasticity), whereas labia size has no correlation with age, fertility, etc whatsoever, it's just a random trait on a bell curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:41 AM
2

Too real.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:16 AM
5

>no hardcore liberal/SJW types either, but most of them are fat and/or non-white anyway. That's just not true. They're overwhelmingly young white women of normal weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:16 AM
1

Yeah, yeah. https://www.reddit.com/r/pansexual/comments/2nrxbd/does_that_mean_you_fuck_pans/
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:13 AM
1

One of my best friends is one. It just looks like a guy with hips substantially wider than his waist. It exists. Personally, I'm into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:10 AM
1

Excuse me? What do you mean it doesn't sound real? If you're referring to my tone or something, I'm a woman, if that clarifies things.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/19 04:07 AM
2

Eh, I don't smoke, drink, swear too much (or I'm trying not to), have tattoos. However-- amusingly-- I have an ASTRONOMICAL n-count. 99th percentile for women easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/19 10:12 AM
1

hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/19 10:08 AM
1

could be borderline personality disorder. i was involved with a guy like this and it turned out he was falling really hard and giving himself a huge complex, then pulling way back in panic. it's sad, but it also doesn't make things any nicer for you. are YOU acting hot/cold in response to her hot/cold shit? bc that could be scaring her and triggering her. my recommendation would be be consistent for around 6 months (if you have the time to waste on this, lol). be EXTREMELY careful that you're no…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/19 09:55 AM
7

Context: I'm pansexual (and yes, I've dated cis and trans men and women as well as literal intersex people, so this isn't some kind of virtue signaling label, it's just an accurate description of my sexual habits). Not to be rude to anyone, but personally, I do not care for apple-shaped body types (men or women), as I have such a strong pear-shaped preference that it nearly amounts to a paraphilia. Similarly I have a strong preference for vulvas that have large lips (inner or outer is OK); howev…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/19 09:52 AM
6

I'm of the opposite preference. "Roast beef pussy" (tasteful description btw) is pretty much /required/ (when I'm dating a woman or trans man, that is)-- though puffy outer labia are equally acceptable. I mean, I wouldn't not date someone great just over having too small a vulva, but I don't know if I could remain attracted to them sexually. I'm really bamboozled with this apparent trend/preference for LESS pronounced secondary sex characteristics-- isn't it more natural to be sexually attracted…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/19 09:45 AM
3

*shrug* I'm bisexual. I don't see an incompatibility if you're into butch/femme.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:41 AM
2

I don't think your primary problem is your previous choices, I think it's low self-esteem and severe anxiety. You have not ruined your life. Please get a therapist. If you feel that your current environment is not supportive and that your reputation is in the trash, get out of there.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:40 AM
1

ONE person? That's still far less than most people. I wouldn't worry about it (but then, I have an extremely high N-count and am not RPW about this particular point).
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:37 AM
1

Yes, you're overstepping. If you can't deal with the area, don't spend as much time at his house and have him to yours instead.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:35 AM
1

A lot of times they don't want to outright dx someone with BPD because of the stigma. If someone told me I had BPD traits I would take that to mean "you have BPD".
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:33 AM
1

Hey, I have a Cluster-B personality disorder, I'm gonna keep it to myself which one. It's hard to tell from what you've written. For context, I'm bisexual and have dated women with BPD and HPD as well as men with ASPD (yes, I'm aware it's extremely rare and most people who are labeled that way are not, but this person was dx'ed and had the record to support it) and NPD. Most people with NPD are living in an ongoing delusion of sorts that protects them from their own screw-ups and from emotional …
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:31 AM
2

My partner of 8 years has a complicated psychotic disorder (schizophrenia + epilepsy + severe episodic memory problems), so I know a thing or two about a thing or two. Here's what I've learned for *my* case. Trying to push him into a specific treatment plan will backfire. it's better to say "What I would do is X." or "I think X will have Y outcome." or "Have you considered X?" Similar thing with the labels. The hardest I ever push is "You know how you said you have symptom X? Well, I was reading…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:18 AM
2

Same, but my acidic vagina destroys my nice clothes =(
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 03:00 AM
7

Check out this series of books on special interest topics (egypt, the pyramids, birds, seashells, the oceans, the forests, outer space, chemistry, rocks and minerals, etc-- every book is one topic, it's all pictures and facts-- aimed at kids and are topics that kids tend to be into, but could be enjoyed by adults) called "DK Eyewitness". I suggest looking through many of them and picking the topics she seems into. They can often be found at educational children's stores (the kind that will have …
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 01:17 AM
2

I'm in mathematics (though I have some side hustles going on too). Honestly, I'm basically masc/not thinking about gender at work (math/data sci work, I mean-- social stuff is just a distractor there imo, and being the only girl a lot of the time and not looking for dates, I don't want to attract male attention in an unwanted way), femme at home with my man or with IHSS (elderly/disabled caregiving) clients, and a "free spirit" while running around in the world alone (I'm not going to be rude to…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 12:55 AM
1

Personally I would not care at all if my partner suddenly shaved his beard. He's grown and shaved a beard several times and never asked me permission (because that would be weird). I find that a strange analogy that only supports my claim. Also did you read the part where she's not even changing her hair color for real this time, but using toner? Do you know what toner is? It's what takes your hair from wack, bad blonde that makes you look like a literal streetwalker to a normal, high-class blon…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 09:44 PM
1

Ugh, let him go! He sounds messed up. Being really busy is one thing, but ranting and raving nonstop for HOURS to the point that it's ruining your relationship-- that's not healthy.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:38 AM
1

Are you 100% sure that these stories are real and he's not scamming you / lying to you?
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:35 AM
3

She clearly is trying to please him. He didn't just "express his opinion", he's acting like a little [beeeeep!] over someone else's HAIRDO. I would think an alpha would have more important things on his mind.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:33 AM
3

I don't think this is leadership and you messing up, this seems abusive to me. I dress how my partner likes a lot of the time because we both enjoy that, but even if he disliked something he would never try to force me or punish me for wearing something he doesn't like other than expressing if asked that he didn't particularly care for it (and thus depriving me of the pleasure of seeing him like what I'm wearing, which is a natural consequence, not a "punishment"). If "gf dyed hair" makes him bl…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:29 AM
2

Don't stay in a situation where a guy makes you beg for attention, it will crush you over time. If you tried to explain how you feel to him and he's still doing it, don't make any further commitments.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:27 AM
1

She said that the description doesn't fit his behavior. Saying that two complementary things both point to the same result is assuming the conclusion. I have seen a LOT of cluster-B personality disorders (my dad has NPD and I've dated several BPDs) and am the first one to suggest it if I see a hint of it. But I'm not seeing any clear NPD signs in OP.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:25 AM
1

Thank you ^_^ Yes, it has been INCREDIBLY enlightening. One of the strangest things was that I found, way back from years ago, entries describing me doing the exact same behaviors and having the exact same fears that I have counseled/listened to a close friend on, thinking that she was so different from me and that I never acted like that! Well apparently, I was almost *verbatim* like that! Not necessarily bad stuff in the sense of "bad behavior", just strange insecurities and certain communicat…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 09:55 AM
21

Since she posted here, yes, I would assume it is a question in good faith, even if it is obvious to you.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 04:09 AM
1

Maybe I took it too literally, but she said she didn't see what they were. Maybe it's not even picture of him, but memes or something. OP seeing the girl as a threat does not necessarily mean that the guy sees it that way, he could be oblivious to her coming on to him for all we know. OP says he knows she's not a fan of the girl, but we don't know how that was communicated or what he understood it to mean. He sent these pics one day after their 1 yr anni trip, he could even have been sending her…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 03:59 AM
1

I got waaaaay more low-effort than high-effort/legit, but still more high-effort/legit than I could realistically go through. I think some of it may be that I have an unusual STEM education that attracts notice from STEM guys with $$. However, since I don't date in my own field or closely related fields, it doesn't help that much...
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 09:42 PM
-3

I don't know anything about instagram-- how do you see that he sent pics but not what they are? If it were me, I wouldn't worry about it, because no girl is going to be more interesting to my bf than I am, not to sound arrogant. Girls can do whatever they want, because it's not going to make a dent in my relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 09:40 PM
3

Personally, I chose not to and I'm happy with that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 09:39 PM
8

I started a journal specifically about my relationship when we first got together. For one thing, it's a good place to defer any rash thoughts to instead of blurting them out. But typically I just write down what happened with any loaded/serious/important interaction, positive or negative. Reading back over it has shown me my own emotional tendencies and patterns over the years and I've learned a LOT. I also realize that he has grown dramatically and progressed past tendencies that I had thought…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 09:36 PM
1

Eh, it's what I've heard/seen from others as well and is generally accepted to be true.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 02:16 PM
1

>Now if OP says “This is extremely painful, but I want to keep going even though it hurts,” then that’s a different story all together. Exactly. Frankly I have been in that situation many times because I'm a sick puppy, lol. That's why I didn't want to give "This is bad!!" advice without a disclaimer that everyone is free to voluntarily endure whatever they like.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:55 PM
1

"Nonconsensually hurt". The adverb applies to the verb hurt. The thing she must consent to is the discomfort. If he doesn't know that she does not want this to be happening, he is not "violating" her consent persay, so she needs to make is clear to determine whether he does not know or does not care that she does not wish to endure this pain.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:53 PM
1

>Sorry if that’s harsh but you came to RPW. The rules specifically say no being harsh.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:42 PM
3

Yep, all of Ayn Rand's ladies are killin' it. A guy I dated called me Dominique as my name bc of her, haha. Unfortunately he was an insufferable narcissist and wound up stalking my friend (yes, while DATING ME!), and I had to ghost him. Worst dating decision of my life; I should have listened to all my friends and my male roommates when they said they didn't like his vibe.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:39 PM
1

Personally, I see no contradiction between polygamy and RP if it's consensual.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:35 PM
5

Not my experience at all. When I've opened profiles, I was drowning in seemingly decent prospects messaging ME. I think just matching with someone is enough to signal to them-- but hey, if I wanted to, I would msg first. I just never wound up going anywhere with online dating bc I met my fiance IRL within a few months of having a profile.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:32 PM
4

I get more sexual attention as a blonde, but that may just mean men think I am more likely to be sexually available as it's seen as a "hot girl modification" like waxing or something. I noticed the flirtatious "popular girls" in HS would dye their hair blonde and get more attention even if they weren't very attractive... and I don't think it's because it made them attractive, I think it's social signaling. I notice that it's a common sex worker thing. I wouldn't do it unless you want to. No dece…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:26 PM
1

What did HE say though? I'm hearing he thinks you don't want to be with him, what else?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:15 PM
1

Our parents are very close and will surely talk. Or even if we visit my family together, we have to visit his as well since it's the same area, and he made it very clear he doesn't want to do that like ever. Setting aside my other question in the other comment-- if he is no contact with his parents and your parents and his talk to eachother, yes, that's a huge problem. I have a very invasive and clingy father and people without this issue do not understand the sheer terror that comes with being …
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 12:11 PM
3

I'm going to be 100% real with you, he may have some kind of Cluster-B personality disorder (speaking as someone who also does, and who is partnered w/ someone with another one-- neither of us the one I'm about to describe, but still, I've had cause to look into this =p). These are trauma conditions stemming from chronic exposure to dysfunctional family dynamics that affect interpersonal attachment. Does he have severe rejection/abandonment issues, suspicious of you/others, suicidal or self-harm…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 11:58 AM
1

. content including restrictive eating disorders and weight changes ahead . . I'm recovered from anorexia and during recovery, I had to be overweight for awhile while my body stabilized and got used to weighing enough that it didn't have to hold on to everything. I was substantially overweight off and on for almost 5 years and it was very upsetting since I had been anorexic and unused to tolerating even a normal amount of weight. However, it turned out to actually be true that ONLY through not s…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 08:11 AM
1

>-Imagine yourself as a kid. Ask yourself what that girl deserves when she grows up. Give her that... you are the only one who can. I think about myself as a kid and the negative things that I believed then vs what my real qualities were (ie pretty, young, and trying hard), and I wind up feeling compassionate for myself in retrospect. It can give one a bit of a reality check that maybe the same thing is happening now and that it's just hard to see in the present.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 08:04 AM
1

re: love self first, I know that it can overlap with some unpleasantly SJW communities and I will likely get downvoted for this, but I think the body positive people and their content can be good for this kind of inspiration. Not everyone is against health modifications, just against shaming onesself or others for where they're at.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 08:03 AM
3

I agree with all of these. Feel the same way about the pouty lips thing, it's weird. Similarly I think other forms of excessive selfies can be embarrassing-- anything that seems like it's trying to get the viewer to see you as super cool or hot that features nothing but your emotive face. There's not actually anything wrong with it at all, I would just be shy to think of someone imagining me sitting at home making these faces into my camera haha, be they emo, pouty, or whatever. But I do like sh…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 07:57 AM
1

I wouldn't say it's causing any drama, just that I am more of a reader than a poster, especially in regards to photos, because of not being sure what is tasteful-- in terms of content regarding myself, that is. I talk about news etc without these concerns. I just see that other people use it to document their lives.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 07:53 AM
8

That's not what I said, I said that it shouldn't nonconsensually hurt, meaning he should not force her to be uncomfortable if she does not truly consent.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 05:54 AM
–

Very wise. You never know when you may become disabled (not to be a downer, it's just true), so very good to appreciate health. I am glad that I was grateful for my mobility before I had a mobility impairment, or I would be kicking myself!
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 03:40 AM
1

If you don't mind me asking, could you outline the conversation that you had?
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 02:13 AM
14

No, I agree, if combined with other behaviors, it is a very bad warning sign. Hopefully this is just some kind of misunderstanding or remediable insecurity.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 02:13 AM
7

>It is rare that the first time is what we imagine or what porn portrays; you don't know each other well enough to have something like that. Yes, definitely forget anything you've seen in porn and I hope that he doesn't have too much prior exposure to it either. I have no problem with the concept of porn (as in visuals of people having sex used for masturbation/arousal), but the overwhelming majority of mass-market porn is just terrible and misleading, and I find it very sad that young men are b…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 02:11 AM
1

The only social media I have that is connected to my identity is Facebook. I have put in an application that blocks me from seeing the news feed, so I only interact with content that I deliberately go to. This has helped with the overwhelm aspect. I'm glad your choice is working for you! Definitely something for me to consider as well. Last time I did it (I've deleted my account twice I think in the last ten years), the whole world was texting me asking if I was OK etc etc, and I had issues with…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 01:57 AM
2

Look, if you guys are really in love, this is just a bump in the road. I don't think he is handling it very maturely at all and for me someone acting like they're not interested to that degree would be a turn-off to the point of potentially discontinuing the relationship. However, given the age and the fact that this isn't coming out of nowhere and just started when this thing happened (right? you guys were talking normally before?), he probably just got his pride/security wounded and is so emot…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 01:48 AM
3

To me it sounds like either HE was testing YOU by saying "go ahead and date him" (in which case it sounds like you both escalated things because you both had hurt feelings-- this is a bad pattern that can occur when both partners are insecure, work on how to break out of these cycles by being vulnerable with your true feelings-- with someone who deserves it), or he's trying to communicate that the relationship isn't as serious to him as you thought. In regards to having the friend contact him, d…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 01:32 AM
18

Phew. Okay. #1, Do not stop seeing your family. They will be the ones able to provide you with some perspective if things go south, and it is not healthy or normal for him to be jealous of them. No no no. If it is unsafe for you to openly flout this right now, at least remain in text contact with them in the meantime, and at some point consider letting them know what is going on so they don't think you don't want to talk to them (however, I would also be careful lest I spread gossip prematurely …
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 01:22 AM
2

I try to remain calm and not over-stimulating-- some adults will lean down and get right in kids' faces, and that isn't a good example for them re: personal space respected, imo. I try to just be honest, as other commenters have said. Instead of thinking of it as "Okay, I have to Relate To This Kid now!" I actually participate (with my eye on them still, but subtly) in the actual activity.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 01:12 AM
2

"bonnie and buxom in bed and at board"
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/19 09:11 AM
2

@Fluffy-- I use them in part to weigh my lower body down so I can do crunches.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/19 07:04 AM
2

I would just tell him next time you're in bed that you want to please him and do whatever he wants. He'll probably come up with something! I don't try to scheme up too many "moves" or anything (other than verbally showing appreciation), I just let him tell me what to do honestly (he wants that, it's not me being lazy).
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/19 02:07 AM
1

Hyaluronic face masks in particular are very helpful at retaining hydration (I just use it from a jar rather than in a mask though). The people at r/SkincareAddiction are great btw, I learned a ton over there.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/19 01:39 AM
0

Honestly, I have codependency issues so I also am inclined to date them all and "help" them. However some do not even want to date or sleep with women anymore. I agree that they don't seem like they would appreciate black women, though I can't substantiate this (they seem pretty racist towards black guys though). I have a friend IRL (one of the smartest, sanest people I know) who I think almost started sympathizing/empathizing with incels, but he wound up getting a nice gf and getting over it, b…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 12:58 PM
0

But we don't know *why*. They could have started dating very young or be setting up finances, etc. Or they might have legal/financial reasons that they don't want to be legally married. I think calling it an interview is kind of flippant.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 02:11 AM
1

Personally, I wouldn't want to work in the same company as a partner, but it's better than distance. I would see whether it's going to be a problem if you move on to another job within X amount of time from being hired (ask the bf, not the boss).
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 02:10 AM
-1

What makes her think you're moving too fast, just the I love you thing? Pff, I started dating my current partner (of 8 years) very soon after meeting and he said I love you within a month. We just fell madly in love more or less immediately and it never stopped. Your friend can't know the deal with your relationship. I think it's good to be all-in.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 02:08 AM
-4

I dunno about that. We don't know what her situation is (the 7 year girl).
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 02:05 AM
4

I feel that I have a similar situation with my messy house (in an LDR, so I'm not inflicting it on my man). I feel slobby and all over the place and don't have high motivation to fix it, but when I'm staying somewhere else nice, I feel all gung-ho to clean.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 01:44 AM
–

I've been trying VERY hard not to nag or ask for stuff more than once (unless there's a good reason to believe that my bf has actually forgotten and would want to be reminded) and to just say what the problem is rather than try to impose a solution. And not to complain if he already identified his error and acknowledged it. This has been going on for about a month of concentrated effort and the results have been good so far. Bf instituted, on his own intiative, a fixed regimen of how frequently …
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 01:33 AM
1

I mean, if you feel that this would ideally have been ruled out by vetting, no one is forcing you to stay. It sounds to me like you're saying you wish you had never gotten involved, which is fine, just be real with yourself about whether you want to be in this situation or not. It sounds like you're saying if you were wiser this would have been a dealbreaker. I had a partner who had poor dental hygiene. Sure enough, a bunch of his teeth broke and he had to have a boatload of dental work, and now…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 12:35 AM
2

Thank you for being gracious about it. I realize it sounds a bit strange to be resentful of help.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/19 11:10 AM
2

Why do you "have to" nag him to brush his teeth? What would happen if you didn't?
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/19 06:44 AM
2

I'm really struggling with this right now. We have been together for 8 years but LDR for several of them as I moved for grad school. He moved to be nearby (with a relative), but that situation fell through and he didn't accept help setting up something new, so went back to the previous location (had some affairs to take care of anyway with the suicide of a family member and the subsequent legal issues of a closer family member who inherited land/property) and is now trying to do it all again. I …
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/19 05:48 AM
1

Be gracious. It sounds like you have nothing to worry about in terms of your husband, so it's really just a matter of how you want to look in terms of how you treat someone of lower status. Although she may be annoying, be kind when she is in front of you. Do not be drawn into an imaginary tug-of-war and give her any more power. Think of what conveys social power-- not needing to bluster and struggle. My partner constantly has women throwing themselves at him (seriously, it's ridiculous) and I t…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/19 05:07 AM
2

See someone in a wheelchair cart that can’t reach an item? Offer to reach it for them. I'd like to warn people against being too quick to offer such assistance-- my brother is a wheelchair user and one of his greatest annoyances is people constantly bothering him asking if they can "help". People have stopped us on the street (or stopped by when we were waiting for a bus) asking if they could help when nothing was going on that even needed help. It can accumulate to intrusiveness very quickly. P…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/19 04:51 AM
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