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secularwitch Archive

View 7 posts and 229 comments by secularwitch on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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9

As a junior, I needed this so badly. Thank you OP for this well-written article. My entire colleagues consist of close-knit group of people at similar ages, so I gave in and became friends with them. This should be my remainder to step back a little bit and keep things shallow with them. Yeah also I am sensing 2 of them have their eyes on me so I am at risk of experiencing very unpleasant things. Men definately gossip and such closed-knit people would 100% know if I ever sleep or date with any o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 12:39 PM
29

FINALLY someone said it! This speaks for me. Partnered friends definately chose to hang out with other partnered people or with married ones. It feels like I am at the rock bottom of social hierarchy. Holidays? Oh, lets take x-y couple and visit this place! Important events like 4th of July? Oh let's meet at our place, invite all married people and their children and have a bbq as if we are living in a TV family show. I sense some of them look down on me at the same time afraid of me because of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 09:20 PM
13

Exactly. And people don't want to understand that "the cost" of not giving consent doesn't have to be a material, life-threatening cost. Often the cost is emotional: being abondoned, not being loved, being dumped, being seen as "uncool" etc. etc. Yet it's still valid: these women forced themselves into giving consent because they were afraid of losing something, whether it be a job or a boyfriend, whether it was explicity told them or it was covertly implied. It doesn't matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 08:52 PM
27

Consent is often used as a joker word by covert narcs& abusers when they have no other valid arguments. Consent does not automatically solve any interpersonal problems. Like, when a woman sleeps with her boss because the boss makes it obvious she has to or she will be fired. "She had consent to have sex with her boss?" So, what? Pffft consent is slowly becoming an excuse that perpetrators gain through manipulative tactics so that when in court they can say she gave consent. Another important not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:13 PM
15

I llllooove this episode. My only complaint is that I wish 2nd part was available for everyone because this type of content needs to be reached by as many as possible. So important, so vital and yet so unacknowledged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 03:03 PM
111

I swear if one more lib fem privilidged men says something like "oh it's just work", I will suggest them obsessively eveeery single time I see them quitting their 9-5 and start selling their bodies and change the subject to their repressed career passion (a.k.a sex work) in every fucking possible moment. I am done. I am fed up. If you support it so badly, go for it. Let's sign you up Josh. Come'on. There are old ladies waiting for your young community dick. Isn't this your ideal job fantasy? You…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 09:40 AM
75

I wish some day we will be able to call out these men by their real names because groupies and fan girls need to know what exactly they are chasing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 08:05 PM
127

Fellow metalhead here. To be honest, it is CLEAR how they see women from the songs they write and the clips they shoot. Physically I find some frontman irressitibly attractive but I know very well they are full of sh.t. Use them before they use you is my motto.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 08:02 PM
15

I think the present female-male heterosexual relationship dynamics is a transition phase and what we are experiencing is men not willing to give up their patriarchical power and women buying their bull sh.t less and less as they reach resources. Redpill is basically a painkiller for men who hate being on equal terms with women, who HATE the fact that they HAVE TO genuinely respect their female counterparts to reach their body and love because in fact, that's still a concept in progress which opp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:55 PM
79

No. They always cheat on their wifes because they "miss" their old "wild" days once in a while and cheat to satisfy the craving. People cannot change through love or monogomy. People can only change when they receive proper guidance with an intense amount of willingness that comes within. What are the chances that this man will ever get a training on respecting women more and awareness rising on casual sexism/misogny? What are the chances that this man will ever be so willing to implement this n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 10:29 PM
6

He could've said 'oh sorry love' in a very compassionate and soft voice and kiss you, which would increase his chances of being 'the sex god' in your eyes like a million times but noooooo. He immediately felt insecure and lost his shit. Never hesitate your decision OP. You did not ruin the moment. He ruined it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 10:20 PM
28

This is truely eye opening. This aspect is actually VERY important when it comes to avoid abusive relationships, but we cannot really talk about the role of the victim because 1) scrotes hang on to the fact that victim had some enabling traits and use this as a weapon to shame victims "she should've chosen a better man". It's hard to talk about this and even bring this up in a mixed gender environment because of scrotes changing the focus of the subject, becoming the victim themselves, white was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:04 PM
48

I am just here to say me too! Once I've realised these men really see me as a masturbation toy behind their fancy masquarade of being "WiLd and SpOnTEnEoUS", my relationship with sex changed immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 05:16 PM
20

This approach alone can literally save millions of women's lives if not 1-2 billions. And probably save the next generation too. Less number of abusive/neglectful fathers, less family issues, much less childhood trauma in the next generation, solely the fact that scrote's genetic material didn't get to pass to next gen, women being more and more picky so men as a group striving to be better and better at treating us respectfully... This looks like a heaven! Block and next him at the first sign o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 11:34 PM
3

Another tip: avoid and next men who don't speak proper English. If he had access to proper education or strived to be better, he would've. Even I don't date men without C2 English because it shows some fundamental information about his academic background and socioeconomic status. Socioeconomic status is very important here because you can experience a huge variation of world views in different socioeconomic statuses, similar to India. One Turkish guy would be drinking wine and celebrating his w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:52 AM
4

I actually have an international dating guide here on FDS that can help you stay safe and happy. https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m81bm7/dating_between_different_cultures/ In this post, there is an important vetting strategy for foreign women: asking men what they think about local (their nationality) women. The scrotes you encounter definately has low regard for Turkish women and idealised opinion of western women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:19 AM
6

OMG For starters, I am so sorry that you had this experience. These scrotes are a shame to Turkish women, they ridiculate the entire country. Secondly, here's the answer to your questions. Sex is still a taboo for lots of people and majortiy of the nation is conservative, meaning the majority women do not have sex before marriage. Like in any other conservative and oppressive community, majority of men therefore have madonna/whore complex. They marry the virgin girls, but they have sex before ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:14 AM
22

OMG yes! I cracked at "hope you found what you're searching for" 😄 It's such a cliché line. As you've said, it's like they all attended the same course on how to get women and this line is actually written on power point slides 😂 Nope nope nope. Block& delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 12:52 PM
48

Soo true. I am from Turkey and here we still have "honor" culture, mostly among less educated. So in an attempt to prove that you're not like that, that you value feminism, that you know better, that you are liberated and educated, women (especially younger generations) often feel pressured by themselves to have sex when they're not ready. Sis, you have absolutely nottthing to prove to others or yourself by treating your body in a certain way. You can believe honor culture is toxic and bad AND S…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 11:47 AM
50

In the current dating scene, witholding attention and being dismissive is "THE" best game all men know by heart and apply with/without even realising. It's such a "lingua franca" now. It works perfectly on almost all women because inherintely we have lower self esteem due to patriarchy. I see lack of communication and witholding attention as an attempt to manipulate me, coerce me into something I don't want to do or a (conscious or unconscious) tactic to make me think in a certain way that I wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 11:24 AM
30

If it's a major big city (İzmir, İstanbul, Ankara), you don't need to worry that much. Just make sure that the district you'll live in is one of the known "good" districts like Çankaya for Ankara, with more secular demographics and upper-middle class majority. I'd suggest you to really try to move one of the most expensive 5 neighborhoods in the city because they are the safest and don't jump in every experience opportunity you find. I have lots of American friends here and one thing I recognize…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:15 PM
10

Yeah, exactly. Unfortunately, innocent people (greek, turkish or afghan) gets the worst out of this equation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:47 PM
20

I am 100% sure that it's not biased that we only see men entering the country. I can assure you the number of women leaving with planes in the article above is no where near representative of those entering the country on foot, in illegal ways. Because the truth is, there is an "unofficial" censorship about Afghan refugees so we are not getting any information from large television networks. Local people keep recording videos of masses entering the country. That's how we know it. Plus, we are se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:45 PM
30

Yeah, exactly. But the more Europe resists taking refugees, the more refugees current government allows in the country and uses them as a political leverage towards Europe, because unless the current gov gets what he wants, he just allows them to pass to Greece. So, it's not really a solution for Europe to tighten up rules too. Idk, I think there's something really unlogical about the way we approach countries in war. Ok, there's a need for humanitarian help but we can't literally open up border…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:33 PM
28

I mean, yeah sure for some Afghan men, they can be trying to secure a home in Turkey to bring their families. Buuuut, I've seen Syrian refugee situation too. It was nothing near like that. Many Syrians came here as a family group with women, children and elderly. Some came alone as young men, yes, but the proportions were different. Definately something else is happening in Afghanistan situation. The proportion of men/women is so off that it's suspicious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:26 PM
70

Terror attacts is the least thing you should be worried about along the loooong line of many other horrific consequences of allowing religious extremist of any kind in a country. Many extremist first and foremost believe women are inferior creatures that can be used, abused, beaten if not acting according to their belief system, killed even, r.ped and so on. The first incident is never a terror attack. The first incident is often sexually attacting women whom they didn't see fit according to the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:21 PM
63

EXACTLY! Thank you!! Finally someone said it! They don't favor in enough magnitudes women, children, elderly and most vulnerable people in the society such as disabled to make a meaningful impact. Also, refugee policies do not really favor educated professionals. You get in a boat, cross many borders illegally, (for young men) get involved in multiple crimes in every country you put your feet on until your reach your dreamland and get a refugee status and that's fine, but you apply officially as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 05:12 PM
438

I live in Turkey and since the break of the events, huge masses of Afghanian are coming here illegally by crossing the broder. The problem is that ALL of these Afghanians are men, without any exception (yes). You can google it to see for your own eyes the long masses of Afghanian men crossing Turkish border. However, it's Afghanian women who need to escape the most from a war, yet somehow all refugees coming to Turkey is male. And the people coming don't seem to be less than Taliban. I wonder if…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 10:46 AM
59

For women, kink is sexualization of self-hatered.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 11:01 PM
13

This is one of the best ones! I enjoyed it a lot. Please do more of these because yeah we know the concepts here but hearing again with different stories makes is much more memorable and understandable. I love you queens💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 10:46 PM
5

As a Turkish woman, I've had my WORST experiences with Balkan men. Turkish men, I know their sh!t very well and can vet them very easily by checking few points. But Balkan men... They were very hard to read, sooo manipulative and had very low regard for women OPENLY. I think it's just a general rule that the worse a country is in terms of democracy and human rights, the worse men get.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 08:39 PM
15

That's a great article! I think what makes FDS so special and quickly growing is that, as Savannah said, it's more about growing confidence of women whose power is taken by cultural misogny. FDS is truely eye-opening for a woman. Principles and what we discuss here goes sooo above and beyond simple "tricks" to ensure a man's commitment. I am very grateful for what we have here. Also what I observed is that FDS is slowly turning into something much bigger, triggering massive changes in the societ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 08:32 PM
15

haha yeah I have had my fair share of bad oral/fingering too. There's one technique which I call "tongue r.pe": violently smashing his tongue(???) to my clit(???) in the hopes that I cum(??) faster (???????) Another one is shy sheldon: he doesn't really want the action but he wants sooo badly to look like whole package of sex god. So he shyly brushes my clit with his even more shy tongue in a weird, non-rythmic way. Pfft. Oh oh and the fingering is the worst of all. They either have poor nail hy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 01:11 AM
7

Ahaha I remember my "friend" tried to set me up one of her fianceè's friend. I remember vividly she described the guy as "I don't think he ever had a girlfriend before but he is a good person". We were 27 at that time. I LAUGHED AT HER FACE. Being a blonde bombshell with engineering degree and a line up of attractive guys whom I find "not emotionally intelligent", ON WHAT EARTH would I EVER be interested in a complate loser?! Aaargh I remember more as I write. I had another friend who is such a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 11:02 PM
17

If oral isn't working he can stimulate clit using his fingers as well. Be confident sis. Know in your heart that you DESERVE orgasm. You'll get there as your confidence grows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:49 PM
16

Ahaha you're amazing 😂 Yeah learn some fore/afterplay you suckerz. I can come 3 times on my own, you gotta top that for me to even allow you around my body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:47 PM
36

Omg yes. Quickie is a code word for "be my masturbation sock".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:45 PM
35

"Why would I want to sleep with anyone who is selfish enough to think that my pleasure is a burden in bed or anywhete else? In fact, making me cum better be one of the things that makes sex good for him." You are a QUEEN! I'm loving it 💜 Preach sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:43 PM
63

So true. Orgasm for women is considered a luxary, not a necessity whereas orgasm for men is considered as necessity. Double standard is insane. The more insane thing is the double standard being sooo obvious but no one wants to admit it. Pickmes keep sugarcoating it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 07:52 PM
20

Thanks for the book recommendation queen! It totally makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 07:49 PM
24

haha yeah, I was like "she is confident, no wayyy she is 20" 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 05:12 PM
24

I guarantee you that's not how the massive majority of couples do it. Lucky for you queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:20 PM
84

Obviously. I am not talking about explaining every sick scrote why's of this. That's a complate waste of time. But my point is, this should become a bare minimum standard for women to even allow a man inside. For that to happen, we should be firm about what we demand and especially WHY we want it. Think of younger teenagees who are following here. They need some explaination to both still be a part of their society yet still have boundries. You and I as older women (I'm 28) have the capacity to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:18 PM
20

Yesss Queen! It's so nice of you to think of an award 💜😻. I love this spirit we have here sooo much 💜. Let's start a revolution. No cum no sex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 03:54 PM
18

Thanks queen 💜 I will do a post about it soon. If it's not about the destination, but about the JoUrnEyyy why don't we all stop before the man ejaculates? Oh yeah, because it's F.CKING ANNOYING to be aroused that much and not reach a peak... Well.... HELLOOOO???? It's VERY annoying for women too. I spend the rest of my day with shitty feeling of restlessness, frustration and I get wet occasionally, which makes me pee frequently because my panties are wet. Not to mention weird ovary pain! But no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 10:24 AM
129

Weird that I was thinking about doing a post about sex strategy and recommend all of the above plus one thing more! Did we... did we do telepathy?! LoL I'd like to add one thing though. YOU COME FIRST. Sex is inheritely not equal, different genders require different treatment to get the same result: an orgasm. Men will come almost 100% with a short foreplay and penetration, where penetration covers the most of the time spent in bed. However, women NEED clitoral stimulation and female orgasm is h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 11:56 PM
7

I am going to say this just to put things in a different cultural perspective and to prove that you can avoid unwanted pregnancies without pills or iuds, but with condoms and their proper use solely. I am not from the US and I was shocked when I figured out single women in the US (and in some European countries too) use birthcontrol pills very frequently. Because here, the most common type of birthcontrol among young, single women is condoms and they work fine. Teen pregnancies and unwanted preg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:53 PM
3

Another answer I saw on tiktok is when you're asked what's your ideal type of men, you say: "I'll know for sure that's it when I see him"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 05:22 PM
2

So true. Unfortunately, same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 05:21 PM
3

Yes! They are soooo entitled. If you do something good, they downplay it "it's not a big deal", "yeah I would do the same, so basic" and if you do something bad, they get involved immediately and bombard with you options that you've already thought of or tried. Iyk. We were classmates once upon a time bro, I have a mind of my own so gtfo. Also they get extremely jelous when a female is above them in competency or position. They either trash her for her looks or her lack of marriage. W t f.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 01:32 PM
3

Yess! Argh you should make a post about them, please! I am in tech too and I was struggling to give a name to this type of leeches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:57 PM
4

This is soo good. I had the same experience. It's because their teenagehood was the last time they weren't losers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:38 PM
56

When it comes to getting real with yourself before everyone else, as a self therapy tool I developed for myself this: I always try to think of the darkest reason behind my victimhood/misery/unhappiness. And this is eye-opening. For example, let's assume my very trusted close friend lied to me and she did me very bad things. I try to think "what can be the darkest reason/trait I have to not-see this earlier?". Then I make a list, 1)I wanted a friend so much that I overlooked her flaws, 2)Her frie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 10:07 PM
8

ahahah yeah magically ahaha you're hilarious queen 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 09:38 PM
4

I have a very strange tactic. I compare the guy to my rock idols, haha. Like, kind of famous stars whom I have a huge crush on, that I adore and absolutely find inspiring. The moment I compare them to icons/idols, they lose their importance in my mind. I tell myself "he is no Damiano David, just chill" or "argh he is not like Alexi Laiho, not super talented, charming and fun like him so stop being his fangirl"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 08:31 PM
29

I share fds content on my ig account and the response I get is... interesting. However I must say I do not get as many responses as you fear. Like, I share 2 fds content a week and get a response maybe once in a month. Especially on anti-porn posts, someone tried to argue me out of if by saying "PoRn is a need for men". I didnt even bothered myself to discuss further because it's clear a literal human made INVENTION that didn't even exist in the begining of 19th century cannot be your natural NE…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 08:23 PM
11

THIS. This should be on handbook. Let's brainstorm a bit more to have more examples: -Finger nails. They used to break so often and I felt so insecure about it. Now they still break but not as much so I don't care. Although if that's brought to my attention, I'd notice. -Hair being too curly/too straight. We've all been there. If you have beautiful curls, I bet you hated them in highschool but now you love them. I have straight hair and I HATED it, I used to try many things to curl them up. Now …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 06:24 PM
37

"I feel so stupid. I ignored my instincts and my bestfriend for a chance at life with a guy I thought I should be with. I was willing to ignore so much to be happy, and it all hinged on a man who, deep down, was just proving to himself that he could get me or (urrrgh) someone like me." I felt that deeply. There was this book (I don't remember now) we discussed here in the sub few weeks ago, and in one chapter it says heterosexual male socialization is homoerotic because men seek other men's vali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 04:42 PM
20

I think American/Canadian/Northern-Western european societies need to observe and welcome more of eastern european/balkanian/former yugoslavian/russian cultures in terms of social interaction. I am Turkish and the way western men treat eachother (not just women, their male friends too) shocks me in a bad way. When it comes to paying the check, westerns often pull up calculators and find the EXACT amount they need to pay when they're at dinner/cafè with friends. WTF is a calculator?! Just do the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 08:53 AM
20

I remember her talking about this experience a long time ago during one of her shows (in one of clips on youtube, not from her officially recorded shows). I haven't watched the movie yet but from the story she told, there are a number of important lessons to learn. Her mother was the first person to smell the shit and warn her about him. He says he went to collage X, her mother goes and finds school alumni (btw, bravo queen mom) and he is not there. She tells about it to Iliza and when she confr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 08:01 AM
12

Great post! Glad you've made it in a post, otherwise many would miss it. I think men often use contempt especially when his wife has the same profession with him. Men almost always believe they are better at doing stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 07:42 AM
1

I am %100 sure she is a FDSer but I can't prove it. I follow her religiously and she is in line with FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 12:20 AM
12

This reminds me my LVX. We met on OLD and it was our first date. He was sooo annoying that I could only stand him under the influence of alcohol. He wasn't assulting me or anthing like that, but he was disrespectful, unattentive, playing games to annoy me etc. At the end of the night, I even poured beer on him because I was very aggressive from that piled-up annoyment. However, I ended up going to his place shitfaced drunk, have sex and then return home around 4 A.M. and at 10 A.M I had a job in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 08:22 PM
25

Oh my gosh. EXACTLY. No post ever spoke so true to me. I value both education/career and vision in life. Like, if he is a dead-eyed nerd who only cares about academic achievement, money and being the best of best, imma out. I also would like to see in him that he is passionate about something, like music, instruments, art, philosophy, who also has a special taste in life, who thinks about his actions in micro level and in macro level. Who can for example, find just A SINGLE thing he dislikes abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 06:22 PM
21

I think the main issue is that these women buy the idea of living in a luxarious, "instagram life" in exhange of little effort compared to what they need to do to earn that amount of money in a normal career path. However, as OP told, 1) YOU WON'T make that much money and 2) Why is your only goal in life is to live in luxary? I believe unless we address 2nd question, we cannot have a proper solution to problem of masses of women choosing sex work over a standard career despite having the opportu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:19 PM
7

We finally come to a place where we're kinda afraid of losing our peace in life with a relationship. You know, it says in fds approved resources that a woman has hv mindset bc she has a lot nice things going and wise enough to protect them against those not deserving of it. This feels like a place of confidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 09:00 AM
26

Back in days when I had Tinder, I was using passport feature to see what kind of guys exist on globe 😄 From what I've seen, Scandinavian men are very open about their BDSM shit and many write their dom/sub preference on their profile. Mine is not a real experience though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 11:01 PM
41

Aa it's interesting that you mention art. Because eversince I quit men (hence sex), my creative inspiration sky-rocketed. I am full of ideas and I am eager than ever to implement them. I quickly started singing and gathered equipment without hesitation (I was postponing this plan for YEARS). Woah never thought that's the reason why. Also, it has huge effect on our pysche that we no longer take crap from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:53 PM
5

Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:46 PM
66

I hate the "meme-sender type". They do it to avoid an actual human bonding or to distract you from his shitty behavior. It's very manipulative. You can't really get mad at him for not being communicative because technically he is "always in contact with you" and then blame you for asking too much. ​ I also hate the "teaser type". I am also a goofball, but I know my boundries and when to stop. These guys never stop eventhough you ask them specifically not to tell such things. My NVX was like that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 06:00 PM
7

When you realise you were that friend of the group... Argh stupid me and my past pickmeisha self. I am ashamed that I hurt my female friends' feelings because I was so consumed with patriarchical insecurities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:50 AM
6

Hi! Yes we can definately do that. Thank you so much for offering help 💙 I was thinking about using google translate (it works fine for tr to en) for handbook and then do a proof reading/editing in Turkish language. I would love if you can help! I am following you to contact you in case I get a permisson from fds mods or you know, if we decide to just go for it without permission.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:12 PM
19

FDS principles draws A LOT of attention in Turkey. I realize this in female-dominated forums when an FDSer member talks about stuff, others quickly realise it's the real deal and want to learn more. You get a burst of attention from Turkish women when it comes to FDS principles. But many don't speak English. So it seems like FDS got 0% interest in that region, but reality is different. I think the regional interest rates have a lot to do with English language competency levels of each country. R…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:04 AM
20

This reminded me of the stereotypical LVM/NVM husband who hates his wife's certain friends because "sHe's PutTInG iDeAS to HEr heAd". Like, she's a single independent woman so she travels a lot, then The Wife wants to go with her in one of the travels and the hubby starts panicking in sweat in utter fear of losing his sleeping bangmaid. That friend poses an example of a more free and truely independent life. The husband senses this. He either trashes her using her obvious mistakes and short-comi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:25 PM
18

THIS. Finally someone said it! I agree 100%. More reasons on quitting dating apps: -It puts you in a place to be chosen. You are a person with depth and character. The sole idea of being chosen through few pics and shallow conversation is just icky. -Dating app structure feeds your inner demons, which are pickmeisha tendencies we all have as we live in a sexist world. Feeding your inner demon with a crumb of food is not a good idea. -HVW vision strongly opposes the idea of chasing a relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:09 PM
3

I couldn't agree more. Also, take a man's story where women are bad with a grain of salt too. Check for unfitting story pieces, try to understand the narrative, look for contradictory narrative, empathize with the "bad" woman instead of your male friend/relative/lover because 9 times out of 10, he is making things up to make himself seem more of a victim and get your empathy. My ex accused me of "almost" r#ping him, while in fact he was too eager to have sex that he walked 3 kms to get us a cond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 12:55 PM
87

It's literally all men. All men have a certain level of toxicity for women due to the world structure we are living in. Levels may vary but ALL of them have it. Some may be murderer, some may be ignorant. Some are low key sexist, some are openly sexist. Toxicity towards women is a spectrum and unfortunataly ALL men have a place in this spectrum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:37 PM
15

Quit dating men until you reach your dream life is my only advice to you. Seems like you've had enough of experience with men to quit dating. Wisen up and quit. It sounds a bit extreme but hear me out: Keep leveling up, go to therapy, start reading about childhood issues and patterns, work on them as if you're studying for finals, find a trusting therapist whom you're on the same page with, if you've found already, make the process the center of attention in your life, do your exercises well and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 09:33 AM
60

I lose my appetite when I remember men do not lift a finger (figuratively and literally) to make me cum
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:55 PM
26

This is hilarious 😂 The way they talk about men as if they are incompedent kids or animals and the joyful appreciation of him doing extremely basic stuff 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:43 PM
11

What movie stars are you attracted to? Which musical/artist icons do you find attractive? Do you prefer, I don't know, brad pitt or pitbull? From my experience, there was a huge gap between the type of guys I date in real life and the type of guys I find attractive on the media (who has bisexual vibes, has an alternative look, long hair, earrings etc.). No wonder why I never orgasm with them! Then I dated a guy (pre fds) with long hair and a style remotely similar to what I like from the media a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:34 PM
42

This is proof why we should never settle. If he makes you look like shit, DUMP him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 08:18 PM
7

mainstream porn "jokes" make it look innocent and more socially acceptable to talk about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:54 AM
10

You did the right thing. When this thing revolved into a relationship, you'd be spending your weekends in his apartment, watching netflix and resenting yourself for not spending your free time in a quality way. Been there done that. Just nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:48 AM
11

Hahaha yesss that's effect I wanted 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 04:22 PM
43

Also fat men are harder to ride, so it's harder for a woman to orgasm with a fat man. For starters, male type of weight gain means a huge belly, as opposed to female type of weight gain (mostly around booty and upper legs). This is due to gender hormones. Anyways, it's harder to ride a guy with huge belly bc when he lays down, belly fat flattens and widens towards the edges, so you need to seperate your legs even further to be able to ride him. This hurts bc I am not a ballet dancer and I defini…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 11:49 PM
4

I realised this on social media. I have a large group of male acquintances from collage (engineering) and whenever I make a public post on facebook (e.g. ask for a specific help on a student group) these clowns pop up and try to make jokes. I used to respond to them angrily, rationally, jokingly, funnily, witfully...etc. Then I started to complately ignore them while responding to other comments that are actually relevant to what I asked and they got MAAAAD. You should've seen their reaction. Li…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:42 PM
7

I'm just here to say this: not only men you date want sex from you, in fact, every men you've ever met want sex from you until proven otherwise. Read that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:45 AM
47

This is so true. Single women in their mid 30s and 40s travel the world, experience lots of different stuff, develop a gusto for life, have access to sex WHENEVER they want with a variety of men in age and culture whereas single men at these ages prey on 20 year olds because their peers know they're full of shit, and they miss the actual experience of living a life while so busily looking for a body to fuck. Yeah. Not to mention receeding hairline! After a while they either find a financially st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 12:40 AM
21

Wow. I am truely sorry for you for experiencing this, also I am so glad you found a way out of that house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:33 PM
8

If that helps, we call it "going German" in Turkish :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:14 PM
30

wtf is he gonna do with male patterned baldness in the family? Get disgusted by his own bald son at his late 20s? LoL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 11:03 PM
10

It's hard to argue that this notion doesn't affect many of women with this overwhelming amount of comments here. Almost all of us had an ugly or overweight phase and we were treated like shit. I think this heavily affected female socialization as well and it can be the root cause of 'cool girl' type. If you are not conventionally pretty, you try to draw attention by becoming someone else, that is the 'dream girl' who is super cool with male hobbies, who is super interested in male dominated fiel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:39 AM
24

Suggestion: we should say "male violence against women" instead of just violence against women. It sounds like women always find a way to hurt themselves and it hinders the real issue. It's the MEN we're talking about, it's the husbands, boyfriends, sons, dads, male bartenders, waiters, cashier guys, men who drive next to our car, the strange men at the street. I also hate the term "domestic" violence as if doors are hitting women, trash bags are strangling us and coffee machine is gaslighting u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 10:13 AM
33

Great episode queens! But this episode should've included some Women Who Run with Wolves references. Using that book's logic and the concept of archetype explains how past society was and how the current society is formed. In original Ariel story where she dies at the end because the guy marries to another woman holds an important message by "ancient woman's wisdom". If we break down the story, her willingness to gain legs is nothing but her disguised desire to have a vagina, and a womb so that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 09:06 PM
7

"happy for the opportunities I create" Well, that's a fancy word for "my needs you have to fullfil"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:10 PM
14

This is truely amazing. I screenshot all points for myself. Arrrrrgh yes, curiosity yes yes yes! I always wondered how to articulate that concept. I hate it when people have 0 interest in self growth and have 0 capability to analyse what's around. Yes! That's the word! Thanks a lot for bringing that up. I also realized I lack connectedness and I don't have a support system. This is a fantastic blueprint for level-up! Not only we should look for these signs, but also we should improve in each top…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 10:45 PM
19

It's funny how he feels entitled to all of these but doesn't even know 1.) how 2.) to 3.) number 4.) shit. I mean, did he even go to highschool? How can he get a proper job to feed a family of 6? Men are delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:58 AM
59

Scrotation test: Use of "female" instead of "women": ✔ 10/10 scrote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:49 AM
3

I suggest never talking to drivers. Put on earpods even if there is no music playing. Play with your phone. Lie about your background if you cant get away from answering. Tbh I find it dangerous to tell that you're an immigrant given the recent race hate crimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:41 AM
7

ahaha this is awesome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:36 AM
8

As an engineer I can assure you there is absolutely NO safe way to share nudes. Snapchat? Bullshit. There are ways to take screenshots without you noticing. Also, maybe your partner is a "trustworthy" person, but their phones definately not. Nowadays almost all apps we use ask for needlessly private information access to be used. You can never know how your gallery shared with an app is processed within the app. Maybe he downloads a simple photo editor but that access to his gallery may result i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 10:29 AM
3

thanks for your recommendations! Sherry argov is our queen 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 09:03 PM
14

I still feel shame and remorse over what I've done with my life in the last ~10 years. I regret sleeping around. I regret putting myself in dangerous positions. I regret chasing people who had spread lies about me. I regret destroying my reputation (with gossips of what I've done and lies by scrotes) and eventually hating my collage. I regret putting my family issues before my own well-being. I regret trying to be the mom of my dad and my mom. To be honest, what I regret the most is being too se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 08:08 PM
7

Do you have any recommendations for reading about issues you mentioned above? I'd love to hear more ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 07:55 PM
2

Thank you for sharing this sis 💜 I believe in you. You can overcome this too like you overcame many difficulties in the past. 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:36 AM
2

On personal experience I find behavioral methods to be the most effective. When you dive into your past, there is a risk that you get lost and re-live your traumas daily. But when you start controlling your behaviours and habits you formed due to your lack of self love, you start healing fast and feelings follow behaviors. So I'd recommend reading The Confidence Gap book. It gives a fast start. Also thanks for the recommendation, I'll check that 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:34 AM
3

Yeah what I meant is it is so widespread that it feels almost everyone does it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:43 AM
4

Yasss queen. Quit the behavior, temptation will fade away eventually. This method is actually based on CBT and it's numerously proved to be effective in quitting harmful habits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:42 AM
14

Thank you for sharing this queen 💜 This is what I lllllove about FDS. Here is a safe environment where we can anonymously talk about shit we've been ashamed of, and realise we are not alone. Please feel free to ask more questions if you have more 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:39 AM
5

100%. I'd like to state that you are NOT doomed to dysfunctional/abusive sexuality (by yourself or with others) after you've experienced sexual assault. It is really as simple as quitting in an instant. The temptation will be there, but as long as you stop acting on the tempation, it'll fade and eventually go away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:37 AM
24

Exactly. Fds had huuuge healing effect on me as well. Now I am disgusted by the idea of any kind of dominance on me. Read fds queens. Read the handbook and recommended relationship books. They work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:34 AM
18

Thank you for sharing your experience. I think this is one of the most untold problem in religious communities. I come from a muslim culture, and I used to read Wattpad stories written by 14 year olds in local language. Almost all popular stories included rape by someone they fancy. Like, she is forced to marry a super hot guy and she hates the first night. What?! Or she is sold to a boyband as sex slave. Whaat?! Just say that you are desiring him! But no, we are conditioning girls that desiring…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:33 AM
12

So true. Religious, cultural, even parental oppression invalidating sexuality causes this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:29 AM
17

Same here! I am having a hard time keeping my friendships. They spill so many wrong things in a row and expect me to reassure them. Your method seems awesome, but I doubt if I should still invest in friendships with LVW's like that. I feel like they are dragging me down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:26 PM
19

Male friends do that too. I was talking about my problems in my previous romantic relationships and I stated most of them knew and actually told me I am too good for them and they tried to keep me as much as possible but I was overwhelmed with their lack of effort in themselves. My male friend was like "no, no, no, no, he told you you are better because he wanted to break up with you" I told him he didn"t break up and when I wanted so he tried to change himself in multiple ways, but that was ofc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:17 PM
10

Wow thank you soo much! You're so kind to offer that <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:13 PM
10

Aa yeah, such a great idea! It would also increase fds accessibility for hearing impaired women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 06:12 PM
15

Thank you so much for your support! ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 04:47 PM
96

TLDR: We want to open a Turkish FDS subreddit and translate fds handbook as it is much needed. What's your stance on that? How should we do it? I am a member of a female turkish forum where we mainly talk about cosmetics and relationships. In a threat, I've talked about fds and I am shook how many Turkish women are actually reading here. Many more are very interested, but they do not speak English (English is not spoken here by many). There is an outpouring interest in FDS principles. As we expl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:40 PM
3

thank you queen 💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 10:08 AM
1

Also, mods, can you build a system that automatically replicates comments& posts here? Many posts here are goldmine but not included in handbook.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:17 PM
5

I dont understand. How redpill isn't banned but female equivalent is banned?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 06:15 PM
67

This was my motto in my pre-teen years. "Get a solid education and career, men will fall into your lap". It worked. Not only men fell into my lap, asking for a date, treating me, prioritizing me etc, but also I got to be treated well by the rest of the society due to my accomplisments. Focus on being excelled in a hard area, work on your skills, build a solid career, the rest follows girls!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:15 AM
5

Exactly! This probably isn't the first time she was abused. She seems so vulnerable as she is severely traumatized. She needs to be taken into protection by government or sth -but definately not by a random individual. I really really really hope some organization reach her out and take care of her within the rules of ministry or smth. She cannot defend herself. In such cases, often a family member or an observer goes to court and files a report about her. Then the government issues an expert (p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:40 PM
6

This woman is clearly as naive as a 5 year old. This story has passed beyond the general crap we endure as women from men. I think she needs legal protection bc she is not able to protect herself. It is very sad. I wonder if she has siblings or family members that can put her in a safe place. She needs serious therapy. Really, this is beyond our internalized misogny. She lacks basic survival logic. I am torn by her story. Sooo sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:30 PM
24

Great podcast as always Queens! I particularly loved the part about not dating men with mental illnesses and how Vice article is trying to make us feel guilty, unemphatatic and monsterous. I think in this era of political correctness, most people mistake being non-racist/sexist/non shaming and open-minded with having 0 choices and preferances. First of all, my body and my personal life is NOT an open democracy. I am not a charity church where people are welcomed regardless of their background, m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:45 PM
46

"Playing wife for a boyfriend is the millennial woman's curse" This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:38 AM
5

Sooo true. I am the radical one and I am "too much" for the society for behaving certain ways, yet she is envious of that I am happy, peaceful, focused on my goals, very grounded and have future plans full of self-actualization and constantly rediscovering myself. But when I state the reason of her misery is her marriage to a complate trash and to be like me she needs to think differently, I am again wrong, too much, too radical, will die alone etc. Help me here pickme: You are unhappy but with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:52 AM
10

Great post. Handbook material queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 11:34 AM
12

I am skeptical about complately ignoring your training. You are trained in this way because you need that for a particular problem in your life that lead you to a therapy. Also, therapy skills shouldn't turn you into a vulnerable optimistic cartoon character. If that's happening, it's because you probably couldn't determine when and how it is wise to use that skill, you are lacking some further therapy skills or you need a talk with your specialist in this topic to clarify this. Sometimes we thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 12:27 AM
17

Important life lesson: no man is LV to a woman and HV to you. His LV character will definately bite you in the a$$ in the future. Guaranteed. Think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 10:11 AM
24

This goes for male friends and general society structure too. I often share what I do in artwise on Instagram, and I have a number of different, somewhat novel interests, love doing subculture things like heavy metal stuff or psychoanalytical painting. The only negative and belittling commentary I get is from men. Women express their admiration freely and generously, while my male friends make fun of it, ask why I didn't do something more "classical", or straight up mock with it. Argh. I am so d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 09:46 AM
6

What should I do with scrotes in my DMs here? I cannot report their messages from my browser. Can I report them? Should I give their names to mods, if so, which mods?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:22 AM
6

Idk if that makes sense to you queens too, but I have been thinking about bringing a "first me" rule at sex. I was gonna make a post about it, but I am kinda unsure of how it works in practice as I dont have any partner now. Female orgasm is harder, and sex doesn't end when she comes. So, new rule: for sex to start for him, I need to come first. Fingers, oral, fingers with very little PIV... anything to make me cum first. Because when we are trying simulataneously, he comes first 99% of time due…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 10:16 AM
21

Did you also realise how anal is "normalized"? Men treat anal as if it's something people always do in intimacy. I was thinking about my past casual situationships and I realised ALL of them mentioned anal at least once. It is disgusting and yes, I am anal shaming. It's fine if you're gay and wanna do this, I don't know nor care about homosexual dynamics. But from heterosexual female-male perspective, anal is yet another pain we "have to" endure for men. I am a person, you know? You cannot put y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 09:58 AM
39

I quit dating. I quit trying to find a suitor. I quit analysing men I met and see if we'd fit. I quit -what I realised to be- obsessing about romance. I am focusing on my dreams and goals and I am 100% sure that happy life leads happy relationships too. So I am trying to build that ideal happy life for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:46 AM
13

Exactly the same! You wrote it very well queen. Word to word, I agree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:44 AM
20

I complately agree. However, the major difference does not stem from the level of attractiveness/grooming. The main reason why 80% of men are low value is: 1) Men do not invest in self development as much as a woman because they simply believe they are good enough. A woman inherintly believes she has room to grow because she is much more criticized by her family and by the entire society. It's no surprise that out of 10 books sold, 8 are purchased by women. Women actually put effort to become a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:59 AM
4

So true and thank you for the support 💜 We are so used to tolerate sexual neglect that after a point we complately give up on our pleasure and blame ourselves for being broken :/ I am glad FDS exists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:35 PM
3

Thank you queen 💛 Yeah I was shocked too. It's my body literally saying keep away from men, LoL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:33 PM
9

Great content queen! I am still stuggling with finding sexual pleasure in sex because deep in my mind I think I am not worthy of pleasure. I put extreme effort into a guy's pleasure but I cannot ask for what I want. Now my courage is slowly developing. However, I don't have a partner/not planing to have one, so I'm not sure if I'm really healing in that issue too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:32 PM
4

Yasss! So glad you deleted the apps! I could stand it for less than 24 hours with my FDS eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 01:23 PM
89

As Samantha Jones (SATC) says "When a woman gets angry she is emotional but when a man gets angry he is a pistol."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 08:35 AM
7

Sameee! I finished my degree, increased my GPA and finally got my 2 diplomas in the meantime. Except I broke my "no male contact" rule last week for the first time in 5 months. I got sick immediately (coincidence?), had an urgent operation and now tryin to recover while looking at dating apps in disgust. Male contact gives me negative energy I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:26 PM
3

This is soooo good! Bravo! Please do more often of this queens!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 07:23 PM
4

This reminded me of my ex casual hookup I was in love with preFDS (I KNOW). We were having sex and as time passes I guess he started to have feelings for me, so he started to ejaculate prematurely, like in literal 30 seconds. He said "I think the problem is the condom" and changed it to sth to numb his dick and therefore prevent PE, but it didn't work too. He was pissed and he looked me in the eye right after he came and said "I think the problem is YOU". LoooooooL. I was amused by his sense of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:19 AM
13

I feel for you sis because everytime I got bored, overwhelmed or stressed, I used to reach out to OLD, have a date and blow the steam off. I figured out it's part of my escapist coping mechanism for daily life struggles. I enjoy male attention and it makes me less worried about my problems. How I quit is this: I wrote my goals, dreams& aspirations on a piece of paper. Whenever I feel lost, I write another set of goals. Just thinking about achieving them gives me butterflies in my stomach. This f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 10:08 PM
103

To be honest, they are not exception at all. They just didn't have a real challange together and/or didn't spent enough time for him to show his true colors. I feel like "maybe I'll be the exception" is a dangling carrot for women that lead to nothing but abuse, disappointment and neglect. If he has few redflags, no worries you'll 100% have problems regarding that specific redflag. The question is, are you willing to lie to yourself that it is not a big deal for the rest of your life because you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 09:53 PM
8

same, still laughing LoL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:13 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m81bm7/dating_between_different_cultures/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 09:11 PM
5

I have cptsd and I have laser-sharp intuition now. I have been working on it for 6 years. Of all the books I read and therapies I've attended, the trick that comes very handy in intuition is "wise mind" concept by Marsha Linehan, the woman who invented Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT). Check self help books about DBT specifically for anxiety, ptsd or cptsd. I do not recommend Linehan's books for a fresh start because it's language is a bit advanced. DBT Skills for Anxiety book is a good start (I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 04:55 PM
5

Yeah haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:43 PM
26

Haha I llllove that show as guilty pleasure! There was this one Ukranian woman eloped to an American man on the show. She was christian and planning to raise her kids so, but he was the most laid-back, chill dude who dgaf about religion. So she was frequently crying over religion arguments. I was like "Why, why? whhhhhy girl????? You cannot even be good friends with him, you are entirely different. Why are you torturing yourself???? Duump hiiiiiimmm"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 12:03 PM
5

Thank you soo much sis! I appreciate you liked it. This gives me motivation to level up more, observe more and spread awareness more💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:59 AM
7

Bravo on your dumping sis! Men think they are so funny when they make a thousand year old crappy joke based on stereotypes that don't even exist anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:58 AM
13

Yeah, you sure can! We are so caught up on being "nice, agreeable, quiet" that we forgot how to vet men! I am sure in the past, when men were expected to be the provider, women would ask how exactly he is doing in his town/hometown that is 10 miles away/family and all blood-related people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:56 AM
5

Thank you sis! I agree we don't even need the guy. We are thriving on our own sooooo much matter!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:54 AM
12

Argh. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I hope you and your mom are thriving, happy and content! He is plain disgusting. I am also livin in a muslim community and men with such extremist views are almost always like that. There was even one man who is super hardcore religious at the face value, he is married and his daughters are all wearing hijabs etc. He goes to Africa for construction work, sleeps with a local woman and she gets pregnant. Then he literally runs back to his country and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:51 AM
6

Exactly this. A scrote is a scrote everywhere. It just takes more time to see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:44 AM
6

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:43 AM
5

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:43 AM
7

Yeah right? Women from their community see through his shit while other women do not understand what's wrong with him for a long time as they give benefit of the doubt, they think he is misunderstood, or even worse, they think women are wrong in not accepting him. Sis, women know what a shitty men is like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:42 AM
23

This is so true! Nah, I missed this point. Yeah some scrotes will be like I'll fuck around with the rest of the world but I'll marry one from my culture bc everyone else is bad/hoes etc. I saw examples of it in TV show My Gypsy Wedding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 11:40 AM
11

They LLLLLOVE when your "feelings" that he gives 0 shit about are hurt because it means a)someone cared about them more than they cared, b)they love the attention you give to them even if that attention is negative like arguing, yelling, explaining why he is wrong etc. They do not listen to your arguments and how you make sense. Men does not listen (like rrrreeeally listen) when women talk about their mistakes. Their communication language is not real conversation, but it is actions and disinter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 09:30 AM
2

Yes! Exactly. You get me. I am a wild kid and I put myself in danger often. Considering yourself as your own kid makes sense. Thanks for the tip!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:33 PM
3

I agree. I just want to note this, I am doing unsexy things too! I no longer shave because I have possibility of hooking up-noo! I shave with my own schedule. I wasn't wearing sexy/even normal underwear. I wore the most comfy/warm ones. I even didnt have a bra bc it is uncomfortable. I was wearing just a simple cotton underwear top and my blouse on it. But the caveat is... I do not care if my body isn't all dolled up. I do not respect men who try to fuck me so I simply didnt care that my body is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:17 PM
5

I crave kissing and make outs. The core issue is oral fixation as I analyse myself. I am fixated in smoking too. I often smoke hating it, but I need sth in my mounth. When I was a kid, I used to chew so many gums that I could easily finish a pack in one day. The same goes for eating/drinking coffee too. When I have such oral situmili nearby, I cannot control myself. So the way to control myself is removing oral situmili nearby. I never smoke indoors anymore for instance. I never drink coffee whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:08 PM
2

Thank you for that reminder sis. Honestly I felt off the track, ashamed and judged solely based on how some comments are worded in this discussion. I am kind to myself. I am allowed to make mistakes. I know what's wrong and why it's wrong (thanks fds). I know what's working and what's not working for me. However sometimes I need a push, a support and new perspective on things. I agree about what you say about casual sex& male validation relationship. The more I see horsesh!t in men, the less I c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 08:03 PM
2

Thank you for sharing your story, it means a lot to me 💙 Bravo on your progress! I think it's not about wining all the time, keeping everything under control all the time, but it's about being true to yourself, letting yourself do few mistakes and learn from them and getting up back on the track. Let's keep leveling up sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 04:18 PM
3

It doesn't mean that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 04:16 PM
11

I never have either. It's weird. It is not satisfactory. If drinking is involved it's even worse. My clit is numb bc of alcohol, his penis is limp, I have troubles in getting wet, I cannot stay in the mood neither can he.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:13 PM
6

True. We were talking about this in the comments above. I need people to hang out with, have a good laugh and then go home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:11 PM
5

Yeah right? It's amazing how ovulation can effect our moods. I knew about the ovulation thing and I am monitoring like you are. The problem is, I didnt know how to deal with the horniness. I just waited it to pass. Sex toys are a must I guess. I didnt know I needed one! Night of pleasure sounds extremely fun. I'll try that out! Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:59 PM
3

True true, so true. All the reasons you mentioned are very valid and true. I already like the book, haha. I'll obtain and read it asap. Thanks for the advice sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:55 PM
6

Thank you so much! I took cbt therapy and I know exactly what you mean. Yeah, all we gotta do is to identify triggers and avoid getting caught up in the cycle. Thanks for the support, I appreciate that a lot 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:52 PM
4

Thank you so much for your insight sis 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:50 PM
2

Yeah! That's what I was thinking about. Online friends are the best start :) I like a particular genre of music. I really missed talking about bands, their tunes, albums, hits etc. Thank you so much for your comments. You really helped me get my thoughts in an order. Thank you dearly, queen 💙
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:49 PM
8

Really? Do sex toys make such a difference? Haha yes! I find them undesirable too, that's why I am upset!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:38 PM
1

To be honest, I have been thinking about quitting alcohol and I actually saw the book you mentioned in this sub earlier. I was planing to read it anyways. But I feel like I am misunderstood. I will hate myself if I quit drinking solely because I cant control my urges. Also, I must address this very clearly. I dont drink at all. That's why I get tipsy so quick and I have low alcohol tolerance. Last time I drink was last summer, and this week to celebrate and party a bit. So, I am barely qualify f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:36 PM
18

" that’s just you rationalising it to distance yourself from the choices you make" I loved that haha. It made me smile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:30 PM
10

You are absolutely on the right track! I don't have any female friends, I don't have any close friends either. I am in a male-dominated major, which has negative impact on female psyche. So, we often disagree in terms of being a FDS person with women around my circle. Also, I am a bit older compared to people around me. I have just graduated, and currently applying for jobs. My past female friends threw me under the bus so many times for dudes bc they are hardcore pickmes, they unconsciously val…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:08 PM
16

You have a point, but I don't think it's what it is. I dont want a relationship. I dont feel lonely. I feel happy actually. I am in this transition period where my only job is to wait, relax and have fun. What I mean by female hormones is what happens after sex. See the post about casual sex. Female hormones are really making us attached to the guy after sex. I should probably quit drinking tho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:49 PM
1

It's not wrong. What I mean is this: if I quit just because I wanna avoid casual sex, my desire to have sex with random dudes will come back in multiples of original desire because now I am depriving myself of it, because now it's "forbidden", much like dieting. When you are on a diet, you have sudden weird cravings that you wouldnt have normally. At least for me, this mechanism works like that. The more I restrict myself, the more I want it in unhealthy way. I am looking for a healthy outlet fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:46 PM
40

Penis attached to a LVM, ahahah. You are hilariously on point haha. You're right, I need a sex toy. Also, I should reduce alcohol intake like you said. It seriously clouds judgement. I was drinking my vodka and it suddenly started to taste like "I should make out with this absolute LVM with limp-drunk dick".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:41 PM
35

Thanks for these tips! I do not have any sex toys, maybe that's the issue. Also, I do not have female friends because my profession is male-dominated. The ones I had were hardcore pick-mes who tried multiple times to change me so that I say yes to an absolute abuser loser like they did. I am planing to have female friends in the future through hobby clubs, but for the time being I am in this transition period where I can only party, relax& wait for my application results, swh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:37 PM
2

Haha, you're so sweet💜 Thank you a lot for the support! You gave me courage to be more vocal in this forum 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:05 PM
2

Aww, thank you for appreciation queen sis! I melted with your beautiful comment because noone ever called me queen before haha 💛💛
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:05 PM
24

yes yes yes yes yes! I need this so badly. Mods, if you need any help reach us out. I think many of us would be willing to have our most liked comments being read in the podcast!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 09:12 PM
27

Ever since I discovered this sub, I feel the same about men, well people actually. I can see through their horsesh*t. A very friendly and married guy who compliments you once in a while and offers help, you believe he is sincere because you assume he wouldn't have audacity to have other agenda and mark him as "safe"? He's actually using you and your attention to see if he has a chance in dating world while keeping his wife as an insurance. An eligible bachelor who seems perfect fit for you at th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 12:24 PM
17

I remember one time a guy and I were making out in his car. He wanted to have sex and I said no. Then he continued "pfff, aren't you 25? Arent you in the university? You're a grown woman! That's so conservative x-gen thing pfft." I said no I make my own choices and then he proceeded to try to rape me. He literally took his limp dick out and tried to put/squish it into my vagina while I am dressed. I made my self louder and said "if we were having sex and you were inside me and I said stop, you H…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 03:54 PM
3

Same here. Another disgusting thing I experienced is my male friends cutting off ties with me when I say I am done with dating/casual sex for good and I feel asexual. They cut the ties because they know they don't stand a chance anymore. How blind I am to not realise he has been praying on me the whole time... I really thought some of these guys are my friends while in fact they were just waiting for my weak moment to fuck me. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:00 PM
3

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:35 AM
15

"Come on, we are 2 adults who are attracted to each other. What's wrong with my desire to be intimate with you in all means?" This is the trap I used to fell often. No, we are not 2 equally in power adults. I am a woman and casual sex harms me more. I am more susceptible to STDs. I can get pregnant eventhough we use protection. Chances are never 0. If my photos/videos are taken during sex, nothing happens to men but I am at the edge of the cliff. I can face isolation, trauma and victim shame and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:07 PM
16

I am ashamed that I used to be an "empowered feminist" who fell into all of these traps above. I remember lining up for "community dicks", craving for their attention like a withdrawing drug-addict. It was insane. I wanted to prove my worth and strength by engaging casual sex. I thought it is "normal" to sleep with men and then "see where the relationship goes". I thought that's how you become a strong woman who knows what she wants. I ended up being stripped off of my entire power. That mindset…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 05:58 PM
1

Argh, the first guy type is my speciality as I encounter them a lot in my degree. I know exactly what you are talking about haha. They have almost 0 value but they assume their "degree" gives them huge value and they think they are "woke" because they are opposing the current conservative government while in fact they are just another misogynist scrote. LoL. I recommend all of my fellow FDS sisters to stay away from Turkish men eventhough they seem very educated, in fact, especially when they ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 01:03 PM
49

Omg this is hilariously on point! Haha. I'm Turkish and Turkish scrotes are also 100% like you described.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:46 AM
21

He is amazing. Do you know his instagram if he has one?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 10:41 AM
4

Yes! Exactly! I am so happy to read this here. We can support each other in this journey. I started my "romance" detox 3 months ago. I actually posted results here. I have passed all my courses and I am about to graduate from collage, which I was struggling for 8 huge years. This no romance mindset healed me so much that I cant help but unsolicitedly advice any woman quitting men, swh. First off, I recommend you to watch "Jigsaw" by Daniel Sloss, a comedian. In his show he explains how sick he i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 05:36 PM
4

I hated that he has the nerves to say "wrong answer". He says this as if he is the one picking you to be his wife. Argh, classic arrogant white collar collage guy. Nah, you do the picking. If I may, I'd advise you to put him in place if ever he mentions such a thing again. Ex: (he says wrong answer and you say:) "wrong answer??? hah! I think you misunderstood the thing we have between us. I ask the questions here." or sth like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:00 PM
1

omg this sounds terrible. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. This is very heart breaking. It seems like your partner was using reading, games and other hobbies as huge escape mechanisms. We must keep an eye on such men too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 09:45 PM
51

-Not reading classics, not having a reading habit. I used to hate this, but I was too weak to actually do something about it. Now I put a "?" next to their name in my mind & move them at the end of my prioriry list swh. If a person does not read some very fundamental world-known or nation-known classics, then this person most probably lacks some important life lessons, perspective gained through reading and that emotional intelligence which helps people to manage their daily struggles, understan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:41 AM
8

I agree that we should maintain a distance from such friends. They are not ill-meaning consciously but it seems like their inner conditioning is terrible and they are not aware of that. This means, they are low value in FDS sense and they will only fill you with the specific anxiety that you have been working so much in FDS to get rid off. Their actions and mindset will always remind you the social construc that only benefits men while destroying your sense of self worth. I know it is very overw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 03:20 PM
2

Argh. As a tech woman I can relate her response in the most hurtful ways. Tech guys are the worst, because you make the cardinal mistake of considering them "civilized" or "modern" because they work in hi-tech and closely related to recent developments. Afterall, you dont expect someone working on artificial intelligence using novel technology to speak words from 13th century. Once you pass that you see they are very, very, horrificly misognyist. Quitting men is the best decision I've ever made …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 11:35 PM
1

can you dm me too? I probably know :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 02:23 PM
21

Lemme translate him sis: "Can we go out for a walk to see if you're willing to have sex with me with/without much effort?" Yes, with effort part is also frawned upon because it means he is looking for a flesh, rather than a human to human bonding. Men are tired of paying for dates and not having sex. Which is more than weird to us, but to them, it's pretty okay to expect as much sex as possible with the least effort as if we are on a meat showcase or sth. Their fragile ego cannot handle having a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 12:36 PM
3

Exactly! She is, at worst, your enemy because she will throw other women under the bus for her own gain or for a crumb of LVM/NVM male attention Sooo true. There is sooo much hard truth in this sentence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 02:54 PM
10

You have a point. Unless they are pushing their agenda, they may be tolerable, especially if you love them and have a lot more going on with them. Nevertheless, it's never as clean as this. Hardcore pickmes usually have crazy dating problems, hence you find yourself making the girl talk for the 1000th time and then find yourself in a "bad cop" position after she returns back to that dude (which she does if she is a hardcore pickme). It's not a rewarding friendship let alone a healthy one. I disa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 12:07 AM
78

Yeah, true. I test them in the first 15 minutes and see if they are asking me questions too. If not, I check my phone and pretend I am writing to a friend (without hitting the send button) and say "Oh, shoot! My best friend has come to my place to surprise me and I am not home, I gotta go now." Then I just ghost them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 07:26 PM
3

Thank you <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:56 PM
13

This is truely impressive sister! Big big congrats on your leveling-up. Can you name few female role models that you've been following on youtube or any other area? I find it hard to find a really good female role model for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:34 PM
3

I am gonna save this, I needed to hear this. Thank you! Couldn't agree more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:45 PM
2

Yes sister! He doesnt f.cking care is the answer to our many questions. And yeah, maybe this is why we fall for their crappy & dumb explanations like "I was busy", "of course this is going somewhere (it sounds very convincing LoL)" because we WANT to be manipulated in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:17 PM
3

Same here sister! I've come to this conclusion after I put a lot of thought into this "why do I want a relationship with a HVM sooo badly" issue. Yes, we gotta focus on ourselves and re-program our inner pickmeisha/I want a relationship world (caused by brainwashing) into "memeisha" "me, myself& I: a complete course of action towards my goals" world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:14 PM
3

Exactly! However, in my ever-so-reluctant-to-change-pickme-brain, considering men as LVM does not do the trick. Then I become obsessed with finding HVMs, and again, the idea of relationship with HVM becomes a priority. Maybe because I am naturally very competitive and achievement-driven person, I automatically consider getting a HVM as achievement that I obsess about as well. It's not like putting HVM's happiness first, I put mine first but I have a twisted vision of happiness -it comes from suc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 08:10 PM
113

I think the problem is partly because of "eMpoWerMENt", but also partly because of erasure of female identity over the course of thausands of years, hence leaving women with no real interest besides those who have solid and interesting "identities" (men). Now that we are trying to overcome this, yet the fight is fierce. Media narrative, historical narrative and cultural mindset isnt helping. They are still brainwashing us into exerting our existance through a "relationship". An average woman, ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/20 09:32 AM
2

Thank you sooo much 💜💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 07:46 PM
3

Level Up Question: TLDR; Can you recommend me a book to overcome my "fear of hurt", "fear of failure" in any sense as I experience the same problem in my entire life. "She comes first" by Brian Nox helped a bit (this guy's book is on FDS list as well). Books can be from FDS recommendation too (I didnt read them all, yet). Hey gals! I'm trying to level up as a whole (both in relationships and academic sense). My core problem is that I am veeery afraid of failure, both in academy and relationships…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 05:34 PM
3

💙 You deserve such kindness after going through so much! I absolutely adore how strong you are based on the fact you were able to cut sh.tty people off 💓 Yeah, it's amazing that he can even think of that! Don't take it personally sis. Some people never grow in emotional sense and they stuck in their 9 year-old reactions. "heeey, lemme cure you with my micropenis", "ayeeee are you having a bad day? lemme help you with my magic wand LOLLoLLoL xdxd" Pfff.. retarded babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 05:07 PM
12

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this on top of cancer. I hope you're okay now. What a SoB... It's veeeeerry mean and cruel to approach diseases like that. One day he can have a serious disease too and I wonder what he'll feel like when someone treats him the way he treated you. I totaly agree with your solution though. Never let him join your class, like ever. He sounds like a schizoid creep. What a loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 03:37 PM
38

I had the exact same problem. I was in the middle of a family crisis and had lots of deadlines at school so I went to his place to focus on my deadlines. I had been crying all night beforehand. The moment he saw me, he put his hand inside my skirt and rubbed my leg towards upwards. I was extremely mad at him and yelled to stop. He apologized immediately but to continue same crazy sex demand afterwards. I broke up with him soon after that, never regretted at all. He was a nice guy besides that, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 12:44 PM
2

Thank you for the explaination. I agree some concepts are far off while main idea "not chasing men" is truely eye-opening for Pickmeishas who knew nothing but chaising dudes. Thanks again, and maybe you can message some mods about this issue and they can write a critique of the book, indicating which rules are FDS approved and which are total garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:37 AM
4

Why? I thought The Rules are FDS-compatible (and approved). Also, what rule specifically ruined things for you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:42 AM
3

uhm, true for OLD. But what if you met the guy as a friend and things start to evolve to dating like seeing each other without the rest of the group? You cannot do a prior phone call, or before he asks you out for a coffee you cannot pop up the question "what are you up to". It's abrupt and unnecessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:32 PM
10

Books in recommended list contradiction (help meee): "The rules" & "Why men marry bitches" I am confused about asking the guy about his intentions. The Rules book says, as long as you dont come off as 'needy', you can ask about commitment and see if he is into it. If not or he answers vaguely, The Rules recommends dumping him, go next next next. On the other hand, Why men marry bitches suggests something entirely different. There suggests not mentioning at all, as if (or actually) you dont care …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:11 PM
6

Thank you, sis! Exactly, right? Almost all girls experience sexual assault of some form unfortunately and this severely affects their choices without them even knowing it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:25 PM
27

This is interesting. Thank you for sharing this. This gave me a lot of thoughts and explainations about my behavior! I'd like to note that we have lower seratonin levels if we have anxiety disorder. That's part of the reason why doctors prescribe SSRI to treat anxiety disorder. SSRI (selective seratonin reuptake inhibator) basically blocks the mechanism that breaks down seratonin, hence previously made seratonin starts to pile up in your brain, and you start feeling less anxious. Especially if y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 08:45 AM
3

thank you ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 03:03 PM
18

Hi sisters! I've just found out this sub and got into it immediately. I barely slept last night, devaouring wiki and hand book. Thank you a million times for developing such an amazing atmosphere. It is amazing to get your answers for the first time in your life with regards to dating strategies. I'm in highly competitive STEM field where you have to put extraordinary effort to provide bare minimum performance. That being said, I've seen in my entire life that the more you work hard on something…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 11:10 AM
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