TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

shaboogie135 Archive

View 7 posts and 36 comments by shaboogie135 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Thanks. Easier said than done but one day i'll snap out of it lol. Its so ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 06:30 PM
3

Thats exactly my struggle. And he uses the silent treatment but i'm not sure why. Either he has another poor soul on the hook, or he uses it to drive me nuts. He will engage, then leave me on read. Disappear for days or weeks. Last weekend he asked if he could call me to discuss things, i said i guess so, and he never did. Its so fucked up. And its fucked up i allow it when i never would have before i met him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:45 PM
10

I used to work in a prison. Addicts and dealers would go to these meetings to drum up business also. Of course, most drug dealers are men. Manipulators and predators gonna manipulate and prey. Its really sad nothing is as it seems anymore. Genuine, good people out there trying to get help and have to overcome the fear of going, and then sometimes have to avoid the enabling and exploitation that finds them there in that 'safe space'.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:32 PM
6

Wishing you all the best!! hope its quick, painless and you leave feeling confident in your decision.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:28 PM
10

Yep. Still trying to break my 'addiction' to a lvm. I'm normally a stable, confident and worthy woman but this toxic relationship turned me to shattered pieces I am trying to pick up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:28 PM
24

This literally just happened to me after 3 years. And the guilt/emotional pain that comes from being the one to end it when its not what you actually want is awful. Or, they cheat as a way for you to end it. The LVM leaves both situations feeling detached and emotionally okay while the woman is a complete disaster and will carry those scars with her. I absolutely resent him for cowardly ending it the way he did because I was forced to do it and have to sit with those doubts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:25 PM
32

Fucking this. Sooo many guys I've talked to onlinr are 'separated' and say they haven't filed because they're too lazy, its too expensive or they don't see a point unless they want to remarry. I unmatch those people at warp speed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:21 PM
21

Yea it was way off unfortunately. He didn't really look like his pic, it was a really good or old pic I guess. His face would be 2nd chance worthy but his body was just not my type at all. Not something a shirt can change although his dressing was also way off lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 11:31 PM
2

Sounds like a guy where no means yes. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:25 PM
2

Hindsight is underrated. Problem is, we are constantly told "oh give him a chance/nobodys perfect/maybe he was nervous/you're too picky, etc". So it makes us 2nd guess ourselves and justify undesirable behavior. No, nobodys perfect. But the best version of them comes out at the beginning. You shouldn't see any major flaws or flags in the first couple months, let alone couple dates. The next dude I meet that over indulges in alcohol within the first couple months, does drugs, acts in any way disr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 02:33 PM
6

In my exes case, he has depression from self esteem and insecurity issues stemming from being bullied in school and losing his sister as a kid. He went to therapy as a kid, but started drinking heavily as a teenager, got a DUI at 25 and was court ordered to AA. He's now 32 and still binge drinks, alone about once a week. He's still driven a couple times too. He treated me very poorly because he hates himself. And our relationship was easier to blame than dealing with his shit. No amount of suppo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:48 PM
9

Mine will do the same, if he hasn't already met someone before we even broke up which is likely given his history. He monkey branched from his ex to me. Back to back relationships since he was 18, he's now 32. He said his relationships 'seem to fall apart around 3 year mark" and whad'ya know, his ex was 3 years, I was 3 years, etc. The issues they had, we had. Sure, I brought my share too but he literally repeated the exact same behavior.. basically relived their entire relationship with me. He …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:18 AM
10

No friends = huge flag. They gotta have atleast 1 close friend I say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:08 AM
16

this. 1st date he was buzzed, i chalked it up to casual beers on his porch one hot summer night. 2nd date he got annihialated at a pool hall we went to, saying it was nerves and I 'intimidate' him. I drove because my gut knew. Dates 3 through roughly 10 were much the same but on social settings too so I ignored it as just 'having a good time'. I joined in on maybe half those dates. Spent 3 years with that problem binge drinking, manipulative, lying, narcissistic man child and currently trying to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:06 AM
13

I needed to read this, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 02:51 AM
2

No, you're right. Year 2 was good. With me and his ex. Year 1 and 3 were bad for both. He even says around year 3 his relationships fail badly. Now i see why, he doesn't. Once i get through this fog i will be relieved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 07:14 PM
1

I am really, really stuck on this 'better version' thing because underneath thr alcohol and the irritability, he is a good person. Otherwise, i totally get everything else. I'm driving myself insane.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 04:10 PM
2

Thank you for this. This sub was suggested to me in a DM off another. I've read the 'handbook'. Its not the be all, end all. It may prevent this in the future but it certainly doesn't help me right now. I had assumed a woman dominated sub would have been the place to go for support, validation, shared experiences and suggestions, and thankfully its only been 1 commentor who's been a bit of an a-hole in basically telling me I'm seeking out this toxic person. Its getting clearer everyday, what I n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:50 PM
2

Thank you for your well thought out and constructive comments. For what its worth, someone dm'd me about FDS on another sub after a post, which is how I ended up here. I read the damn handbook so people can stop suggesting that. It doesn't help me remove myself from this cyclical situation. It will help me avoid it in the future which is great but i'm focused on getting through this mess first. Trauma bonding isn't something I even knew about until Reddit. So i am thankful for my 'excessive' pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:45 PM
2

From what i've read, trauma bonding is a toxic relationship, usually with someone who has narcissistic traits, and leaving becomes difficult because there is an unhealthy codependency between the 2. Its an addiction. Over time, your worth and self esteem get chipped away at which keeps you with this person. It can be physical or emotional. When you try and leave, you almost detox. In my case, i feel physically sick. I think about him meeting someone else or not having him in my life and I want t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:34 PM
2

I will be studying it twice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 01:18 AM
3

Just checked her out. Its pretty dead bang. Covert narc sounds a lot like him. I'll keep watching. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 11:07 PM
2

I've heard people mention this dr j and h thing... is that a term used for the different moods or behavior? He has told me i male him feel unloved and unappreciated... but i think you're right. His self hating.. no one will ever make him feel loved. Except maybe his parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:19 PM
1

Leave him alone? I go days or weeks without reaching out to him, only for him to do it. Its going both ways. But noted that its a bad look. I'm looking for validation feeling this way and that its an unhealthy situation because I have difficulty seeing it at times when the 'hope' gets in the way. I didn't even know what trauma bonding was until someone on one of these subs told me. I'm posting in different subs because there are different readers and experiences in them. Don't read mine if they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:59 PM
1

This is only funny because I had a boyfriend named Travis lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 03:30 PM
3

Definetely a covert narc. Wow. I do need to heal and stop looking for explanations from him. Going no contact IS the answer, but so very hard to do. I don't need him, but feel incomplete wirhout him. Its enraging and confusing and I know I am worth more but can't get there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 05:30 PM
1

I know. Thats what i'm stuck on. I've turned it inwards and it just hurts something awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 05:04 PM
2

I have read alot about narcissist traits and he does do a lot of them. But just when I think he has no empathy or self awareness, he does cry, he does admit fault at time (doesn't change anything though) and he does say he feels bad if someone is going through something rough. That said, he's incapable of maintaining friendships, and he's admitted his relationships all go sour around 3 years. Likely when his drinking, lying and overall chaos is exposed. Friendships don't come easy because he's s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 03:29 PM
2

I 100% agree with you. His utter disrespect for me keeps growing. Because in the past, we'd always get back together after he'd beg and swear enough change, even outline the steps he needs to take and hownwe can move forward. The one time he called it off to 'work on himself' (which he didn't), lasted 3 months and we ended up trying again which is where we are now. It lasted a month before it crashed again because he didn't hold up his end of what we talked about. It has been very push and pull.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 03:09 PM
1

I agree with all of that. Where i'm stuck is that we could have had a life together at one point. Things were good for a bit and then turned to shit over and over because of his drinking and lying. Then somewhere along the line, he became what feels like, repulsed by me or something. He always blamed his depression or drinking for our issues, which is true but so is being a shitty person. I am stuck on the what we used to be, and where we could have gone. I am physically sick over another woman …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:57 PM
3

He's already doing that anyway. He engages, then leaves me on read till he feels like pouring more gas on the fire. He has a big project he's working on so he's able to distract and not feel what I'm feeling. But he still antogonizes me when he has a moment in his 'busy' schedule. He literally used me for 3 years and now that he is where he wants to be in life, I'm discarded. But lets ignore that I stuck with him througb his drinking problem, his lying, his cheating on his ex girlfriend which ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 02:50 PM
7

Omg, true lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 04:56 AM
2

Thank you. I guess my biggest fault here is trying to help him through his demons, because i do love him. He may hate himself but i saw past those things he hated. I mistook him opening up to me about these things as building trust, being vulnerable and working towards something when in reality I think they were just to get pity and make excuses for being a shitty human.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 08:31 PM
5

Yeah. And I told his parents eventually because I got tired of his exessive drinking and suicide talk and didn't know what else to do, and they legit told me i should have waited for them to deal with it rather than trying to on my own. I was damned from the start with this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:27 PM
5

He is. I am having a hard time swallowing that I wasted 3 years of my life on him and fell for his BS every time. Its going to be a hard thing to get over but I will be better off. Won't spend every weekend in tears anymore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:25 PM
5

He does it because he can. And because i let him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/20 02:16 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter