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she_is_munchkins Archive

View 0 posts and 129 comments by she_is_munchkins on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
65

Lol I cackled at "Sure, the additional funds and company would be nice" 🤣🤣🤣 At best that's what he'll see you as. True, I learned this the hard way. This is also why we don't approach men - they'll always say yes (because in their mind anything is better than nothing) even if their feelings towards you are cold or lukewarm. You really don't wana do that to yourself. If he's not coming with that "hell yes!" energy just keep it moving.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/22 07:50 AM
51

FDS doesn't condone moving in together pre-marriage. Just a heads up for the future when you meet someone new. Hopefully you can kick this guy out easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/22 10:41 AM
110

This. I usually ask myself "Why is this person telling me this? What are they trying to achieve in saying this?" He's either trying to neg or he's an idiot, I don't have time for either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/22 04:23 PM
9

Amen sister! I was thinking about this today that it's one thing to know the word, but it's a while other thing to live it everyday. One of my biggest values is having a strong sense of morality and some sort of spiritual practice to ground you. This is very important to me in a partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/22 06:07 PM
90

On top of this he said it to everyone that would listen. He told all the guys this, told his friends this and even told his mom! It was totally unnecessary. He could've just ended things with her or just chose not to talk to everybody about his lack of attraction for her and kept it inside. I also think comparing her to an aunt was completely unnecessary. It's ok to simply say "I'm not attracted to her" and leave it at that, no need to compare them to older family members.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/22 01:45 PM
2

I'm the same. I try to move onto meeting in person within a few days (1 week max). I've found that a lot of guys are flaky and would prefer to stay pen pals forever. Delete and move onto the next one. My last stint on OkCupid was about 2 weeks, chatted to a few guys but met none, so I promptly deleted it because it got annoying very quickly.
/r/askFDS02/02/22 08:12 AM
65

I love everything you wrote. Lolled at Mr Come-and-Ho, we need to coin this as an FDS term. I just recently joined online dating and fully agree with your 1st point. You need to vet and quickly delete and move on to maintain your sanity in these streets. I've found that the trash very quickly reveals itself. Trust your instincts when you pick up those early red flags, and don't be scared to end the conversation when you see traits you don't agree with. Maintain Queen energy - we don't entertain …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/21 08:26 AM
105

In my country there was a series of interviews held with a local Only Fans star, across different radio stations. I listened to her explain her story and her reasons for getting into porn. She explained that she came from poverty and that this was an easy way for her to climb out of it; she was also able to lift her family out of poverty with the money she earned. She mentioned plans of using this money to create something sustainable, as she knows her looks will eventually fade. I felt sad for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:12 AM
6

I only really found myself at 29. I'm 31 now and still learning things about myself. Life is even more fun than it was in my 20s. I actually have money to travel and try out cool things now. Also, because I know and love myself better I've been making more authentic friendships than I had in my teens and 20s. I also think I'm overall higher value than I was then, and it shows in the way I carry myself. Due to this my milkshake still brings many boys to the yard, even though I don't look like my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 09:21 AM
3

Ya the question is why are you developing feelings for men who aren't even pursuing you? These are men who havent even asked you out or woo'd you in any way. They haven't established any value in your life. This is where the crush issue applies. I mean yeah you're a cishet woman open to finding a partner, so you'll find men attractive at face value, but that doesn't mean anything really. You can't put stock on those feelings because they're shallow, based on no intrinsic value. This is what I'd …
/r/askFDS09/09/21 08:27 AM
11

There's info in the handbook about crushes and why they're discouraged. Basically it's all just a fantasy in your head, not based on anything real. You shouldn't be getting hung up over these guys. I suggest reading the handbook. Yes of course you will find some men attractive when you first meet them, then maybe somehow down the line you find that they're in a relationship. Well you move on, it's simple really. I wouldn't think much about it. However if you specifically feel attraction towards …
/r/askFDS08/09/21 03:56 PM
88

Lol this! I work with people for a living so I can have conversations with anyone about anything and feign interest in whatever they're into. Guys like to come with that "we have such a good vibe together" thing. Like, no sir, I'm just awesome like that, unfortunately you didn't really pique my interest."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 10:26 AM
2

Thank you. Honestly I just realized that you can never really expect a certain behaviour or response from other people. People have their own ways of showing up forthemselved and for others in the world. I can only decide if I want to accept what they have to offer or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 09:23 PM
2

Thank you for your kind words ❤ I'm also sorry about the experience you had last year, I hope you've managed to recover and have healed from it. I also hope you've made way for those true friends who'll be with you through life's trials. It hurt at the time but I'm in an amazing place right now. I got rid of all the dead weight and only allow those in who have my best interests at heart and truly care for me. Lessons through the pain I guess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 09:21 PM
52

Yeah men generally suck at emotional labour. This is a great way to vet actually. My dad passed away earlier this year. I didn't really tell people unless they asked why I'd disappeared for a bit. Anyhow this guy who I've been friends with for 15 years sent 1 "Sorry for your loss" message after I told him, and has never brought it up again since. Not once did he check how I was dealing with everything, or just send a message to check how I was. Silence. He resurfaced about 6 months later spewing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 01:18 PM
97

He's most likely been failing and repeating many courses
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 08:02 AM
32

I don't think you're overreacting. It's racist and colourist at best. Preference is one thing, but if the preference is based on prejudice then yes you're racist. However this would better suited in a different sub.
/r/askFDS21/08/21 03:20 PM
20

Lol this is the way. I do this with random "I miss you" texts 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:13 PM
234

True. They will never go away until you block them. Every year around the same of year (end of winter towards spring) you'll get that "Hey" message. Forever, until you die. I saw someone post here about some guy who's been texting her for years - he's even married with kids now and still texts her trying to get her. I tell my friends not to cry over a LV ex because he will come back with that inevitable "Hey", when you've leveled up and have no time for his dusty ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:05 PM
62

No honey. 5 months, long distance, and he's clearly in a whole other country. Nope. You're 21 and at the cusp of life. Have fun. Meet people in your country. Be safe. Finish university (if you havent already). Explore yourself and what the world has to offer. This guy is an absolute no for you. Too complicated, too messy. He needs to sort out his mental health issues, and you don't have to tie yourself down to him while he sorts that out. Live your life and be happy. Enjoy your youth and freedom…
/r/askFDS20/08/21 09:55 PM
267

Lol this has to be a troll 🤣🤣🤣 I mean if the girl is happy then it's her choice. I just wonder if she'll have the agency to leave/be independent if this doesn't work out. She's pretty much setting herself up to be exploited and abused by this man - she can only pray that he's one of the good ones. Anyway we call these women Patriarchy Princesses where I'm from.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:41 PM
15

I'd choose B, I admire people like this - most of my friends and myself included actually fit this category. I honestly wouldn't consider A as a real option, because you clearly aren't into him. In terms of vetting a guy with his family: personally I don't judge family background or upbringing, because no one chooses that (and because I also have a difficult background with my family and my upbringing was not peachy). I'd vet for how he overcame the hand he was dealt with, and just his general m…
/r/askFDS19/08/21 08:05 AM
12

He sounds like he's trying to flirt - very badly though, this is terrible. And no, I'd just stop engaging, he doesn't know how to have normal conversations. And don't let him take up space on your mind, he's really not worth it.
/r/askFDS18/08/21 09:43 AM
22

I wish I was bi. A friend of mine just decided that she was done with men and has now been happily dating a woman for just over a year. Lol I really wana do that but unfortunately I'm straight 🙃 I tried once being with a woman but it wasn't for me 😔 The bar is in hell with men, and it's sooooo frustrating to date. I gave this guy a shot about 3 weeks ago and had to ditch him after a week when he clearly couldn't meet my basic standards (like plan a date and rum with it, arrive on time for said d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 12:02 PM
1

I think it is possible be too hard on yourself by setting unrealistic and unnecessary standards for yourself, yet on the other hand there are certain standards that are necessary for you to live a happy and peaceful life. However only you know which of these standards are necessary for your happiness vs arbitrary standards that serve as empty measures of control. You need to kinda sit down with yourself and go through your standards of living and understand why you've placed those boundaries and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 11:44 AM
10

Lol at struggle dreads 🤣🤣🤣 in a struggle pony
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 05:02 PM
49

Does this man meet your standards on the financial/career front? He sounds like this is how he generally is, like he's probably been starting this career for years now with little to no progress. He seems to have a bit of an unhealthy relationship with money (thinks one must slog to earn $) and is hence working to improve his relationship with money overall. Is he? Lol how long has he been "working on this relationship with money"? Sounds like he's just trying to say the right words to appease y…
/r/askFDS11/08/21 09:18 PM
2

Why do you care what he thinks? As long as you are behaving in line with your principles you shouldn't care. Examine why you feel "guilty".
/r/askFDS11/08/21 08:49 PM
122

Similar dad here. We even had to put coins together to buy bread and little grocery items, even though this guy was making Bank. He ended up losing his high paying job not long after, then my mom became the bread winner and climbed the ladder very fast in her 40s with zero corporate experience (she was a teacher before). Dad could never really get back on his feet. He definitely resented my mom for this til the day he passed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 10:09 AM
42

This! I honestly can't with men anymore. This is what puts me off longterm commitment with most men, so many are trying to cut you a bad deal and think you should be grateful they’re choosing you as their personal sex slave/ trophy/ maid/ breeder/second mom/ emotional punching bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 08:45 AM
80

Lol nailed it 🤣 I just posted something similar, that they get completely thrown when they aren't able to activate PickMe behaviour in women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:10 AM
52

Lol men do this a lot. Since FDS I've noticed how many men are actually quite emotionally needy/clingy. They fall very quickly and expect that as a woman you must've fallen harder 😂 Often they'll love-bomb early - not just as a game to get laid, but actually because they're falling (or think they are because they find you attractive) - and they can't conceive how you couldn't be falling for them too. Also I've noticed that some men will react to your unbotheredness by pulling away as a manipulat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 08:07 AM
13

Ugh "struggle love"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 09:37 PM
13

I agree with what you're saying up until your last paragraph. Children suffer from having bad parents, whether it's a 1 or 2 parent household. I grew up with my parents being married and living together. My dad was an abusive NVM who made our lives very difficult just because he could. I definitely would've been better off being raised by my mom alone. I have friends who grew up fatherless who had better childhoods than me and grew up to be well functioning adults.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 05:42 PM
13

Hmm still weird for him to ask that explicit question about your relationship status. I'd probably laugh and say "Why are you asking, are you interested?" And give an evil cackle to show how ridiculous he is for thinking such.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:30 PM
15

I usually say "I haven't met anyone worth dating". But lately I've been thinking that I don't even need to give an answer; it's a rude and invasive question. Honestly anyone who asks "Why are you (insert personal trait that doesn't even need reasoning or explaining)" is an a$~hole. Whether on purpose or not, they're trying to call you out on a supposed "flaw" (in their opinion anyway), and that's rude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 03:24 PM
11

I agree with the Mod's response. You date when you're ready to date. FDS isn't saying you must just add a bunch of randos to your dating roster, FDS advocates for an abundance mentality in dating (opposite to a scarcity mentality), which is easier to achieve if you are dating a few men. However you can still date just 1 guy (or zero guys) whilst operating from an abundance mentality. The point is to feel confident in yourself and your worth, in such a way that you don't behave like a PickMe. I'd…
/r/askFDS08/07/21 06:31 PM
30

And also, I mean, why would she choose for this to be her life now? It's one thing if he's threatening her to prevent her from leaving, but beyond that there's no reason to wait and watch this shitshow unfold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:19 AM
14

I remember during peak pandemic we had a few members sharing their OD tips. Usually they would vet the guy first by his texts, then within a week he must at least initiate a video chat or face to face meeting (you don't text forever). Personally my aim would be to move things from online to real communication (calls and dates), but he needs to initiate this progression. If not, I delete and move on. I havent done OD in a while but that was my general rule. Obviously be safe - meet in a public sp…
/r/askFDS22/06/21 09:15 AM
8

Giiirrrllll! You said it all
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 05:58 PM
12

Same. The only time I've come through PIV is with men with girth and length.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 05:55 PM
11

I saw that post and was also so surprised how every woman who commented there said size doesn't matter. I mean maybe some woman may prefer smaller, but let's not lie and say size doesn't matter, it's just a very subjective thing as to what size you prefer. Personally I prefer my men on the bigger side. Not too large, but I need to feel you hitting that back wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 05:52 PM
4

Hmm well I guess this is subjective based on each woman's need for empathy, but personally I'd like him to ask probing emotive questions, like how I felt about something happening and how I'm feeling about it now, then ask how he can make my day. I had an ex who would rap to me during lunch breaks dissing the people who made me mad (this would at least crack a smile), then he'd buy me lunch or something once my mood had lifted (because he knew I loved food). Lol it was silly but I liked how hard…
/r/askFDS18/06/21 05:16 PM
5

By his level of general empathy. So during the vetting process you'll gage how he responds when you mention you had a rough day (or whatever minor inconvenience you may experience). Make sure to pay attention to how he responds to you when you share your minor daily hiccups, or how he responds to people in his life seeking counsel from him. Remember also that you won't share your trauma with him until he's properly vetted.
/r/askFDS18/06/21 12:54 PM
7

So I've had men to try shit-test me after I simply mentioned that my dad and I aren't close, thinking that they smell vulnerability. The best thing is to obviously not fall for the shit-tests and delete and move on, because he's clearly trying to take advantage of someone who he thinks is weak. This is red flag behaviour. But either way I've seen that narcissistic men generally like to suss you out for weaknesses regardless of how you explain your family history. The best thing you can do is to …
/r/askFDS18/06/21 11:32 AM
20

So I had a similar upbringing with a NVM dad (emotionally, verbally and financially abusive) who also just decided one day that he was not going to work anymore and would rather have my mom take care of him financially and do all the housekeeping and cooking. Anyhow when someone (an acquaintance, which includes men who I'm just dating) brings up the topic of parents I'll just state the most basic facts: i.e. "My parents are still together and live in (insert area they live in). My mom does ABC c…
/r/askFDS15/06/21 10:59 AM
16

You can do almost anything with a Math degree 🙂 literally just pick the industry you're into and get in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 05:37 PM
140

I love this. I reached a point last year where I just cut out all my fuck buddies because I was no longer satisfied. I realized that as cool as it was to have sexual options, all those options weren't up to my standard for intimacy. I want a connection during sex, I want emotions and love, I want that trust and intimacy that makes your heart feel full when making love. Yeah the actual act of sex can feel great if he's skilled in bed, but it's just not enough for me anymore. Even though I was cal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:56 AM
8

Lol I relate to this. I believe I was also that friend for a while and honestly in my defense I was trying to make my life better, it just took a lot longer than expected, and in the mean time I did a lot of bitching and moaning. I decided to stop venting to them because I could tell they were over it, but now we pretty much don't talk anymore about anything past surface level. Idk hey, I mean where exactly is the line between healthy venting between besties vs unhealthy venting that drags every…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 04:49 PM
6

I've dated younger before. I didn't enjoy it because they seemed to want a motherly type relationship where I'd call all the shots, which definitely isn't for me. Granted they were still in their mid-20s at the time (I was late 20s then); it might be different with men who are at least in their 30s. Surprisingly they wanted to be in a serious relationship, more-so than the guys my age.
/r/askFDS18/05/21 02:32 PM
6

Your friends sound like terrible people. Jealousy ain't your problem, get new friends. A true friend will empathize and at the least sympathize with what you went through. A good friend will make sure not to make you feel upset about your past, and if they do they will apologise and make sure you're ok.
/r/askFDS15/05/21 06:12 PM
10

This is the answer OP! I wish you luck on your journey. I went through something similar at about your age, and I only realized on the other side of the fence that the grass isn't really greener in objectification land. I suggest a lot of self work (therapy and spiritual work) and learning to truly love yourself outside of external validation. It will happen (finding self love), and when you get there you won't care if men are fawning over you or not. Male attention is hella cheap, and honestly …
/r/askFDS13/05/21 07:00 PM
2

Don't overthink it. You only went on 2 dates and seemed to hype him (and the potential relationship) up a lot in your head. Just let it go, try not to wrack your brain over this.
/r/askFDS30/04/21 05:20 PM
9

All of this 👌
/r/askFDS13/04/21 09:31 PM
35

No babe. This isn't a blaming situation, we're just offering guidance. FDS is about being high value and only allowing high value people into your life. This man is not high value, he is asking you for nudes when he barely even knows you. He is asking for free sexual gratification from you without putting in any effort. At the same time you are not behaving like a high value woman by sexting a rando and engaging in his low value behaviour. Just abort this mission. In another comment you mentione…
/r/askFDS22/03/21 01:47 PM
51

Stop talking to this guy and read the handbook
/r/askFDS22/03/21 12:29 PM
22

This. I reached a point once I hit 27 where I stopped idealizing men and relationships. I no longer cry over men. I realized that a lot of the pain I felt before in relationships was more of the pain of my ego taking a knock, than it was about actually loving the guy. Or if I loved the guy that love was generally based on very shallow things and unhealthy attachments. Now that I no longer look at love and men that way it's unlikely that you'll find me holding onto or crying over non-relationship…
/r/askFDS21/03/21 11:00 AM
5

Read the handbook
/r/askFDS20/03/21 07:31 AM
16

I'm not 100% sure on the official FDS stance around asking about exes (I'm trying to quickly scan the handbook, will add an edit if I find something), however I personally don't like to ask a man about his exes, because men are generally very lacking in personal insight and tend to lie or skew what actually happened. So he might say something like "She turned out to be a liar", when maybe he cheated on her repeatedly and later found out that she was chatting to someone on the side for comfort. B…
/r/askFDS10/03/21 01:11 PM
71

Why do you feel like you need to tell him that? I don't think it's relevant. He'll probably find a way to use this information against you, when in all honesty it has no bearing on who you are as a person. And definitely don't tell him about the situationship; also none of his business. If he asks about your relationship history you'll simply tell him that you've dated but haven't found someone worth settling down with yet (similar to anyone who's still dating honestly). Otherwise don't offer up…
/r/askFDS10/03/21 11:07 AM
7

There's a few posts on FDS about ditching LV friends, they can be a major setback on your journey to becoming a HVW. You need to start focusing on yourself and the life you want. Are these the types of friends you want to have? They don't really seem to add much to your life or well-being. u/ASeaOfQuotes mentioned some great tips on finding hobbies to fill your time. Ditch the pickme friends and focus on creating a HV life. What have you always wanted to do with your time? What are your interest…
/r/askFDS06/03/21 12:39 AM
22

FDS promotes the idea of women knowing their value; i.e. know what you are worth. Make a list of your standards. What traits do you want in a partner? What traits are deal breakers? This is different for each woman. Some will want a man who takes them out for weekly dinners at expensive places and buys her gifts each month, while for others it will be a man who simply calls her every night to ask about her day. Each requirement is valid. You just need to know what your requirements are and be un…
/r/askFDS04/03/21 08:51 PM
45

Yeah lots of trash out there. Date yourself. Treat yourself the way you wana be treated. Keep cultivating an abundance mindset so you don't give too much of your time to this non-committal guy
/r/askFDS23/02/21 11:41 AM
3

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family Anne's husband in Working Moms Johnny Rose in Schitts Creek
/r/askFDS17/02/21 06:59 PM
30

I've only ever had orgasms with younger men. Very eager to please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 11:34 PM
5

I agree with what every commenter has said here. This man is trash, please delete and block him. Also read the handbook before you start dating again. You also need to know that you are worthy of receiving the type of love and care you desire. You're not too much work. You are human and you have been through a lot, but you still deserve the love and care that you need. I recommend more therapy with a pointed focus on finding self love and establishing boundaries. You need to figure out what type…
/r/askFDS11/02/21 11:32 PM
7

I have a friend who's like this. She doesn't mind pursuing men and usually is the one to initiate dates etc. None of these relationships have ever worked out, and usually the guy will ghost after they've hooked up a few times. I personally once tried to pursue a guy and he happily went along for the ride (because of course it's an ego boost to be pursued by a woman), but he also never took me seriously and was extremely low (or no) effort. I had to end things because honestly he never would, he …
/r/askFDS05/02/21 10:19 PM
38

In my years of dating and watching others date, I have never (never) seen a successful relationship come out of a woman pursuing a man. Yes maybe they'll end up in a relationship or even end up married, but it's always the woman having to chase after and push the man to reach these relationship milestones. I even know of a woman who basically married herself - she planned the whole wedding day while the man hemmed and hawwed his way through it. I'll really doubt that will be a happy marriage. As…
/r/askFDS31/01/21 10:36 AM
16

I'm sorry that you're going through this, it really sounds like a shit situation. Best thing you can do is delete his number and stop texting him and asking him to care about your feelings, because he clearly doesn't. Try to act like he doesn't exist when you are in the office. Don't attend the same events as him. If he drops in on an event that you happen to be attending, just ignore/avoid him. And yeah, don't date at work, or at the very least don't date within the same team/department.
/r/askFDS30/01/21 08:27 PM
2

Education: some sort of tertiary education is needed (whether it's a degree or technical diploma). I honestly don't see the average person thriving without it. Career: have a career, not just a job. I need to see forward-thinking and the ability to plan for your life. I've met too many men who are just coasting along in life with no plan. One of the commenters here mentioned an ex becoming disabled and being dependent on the wife, so another criteria for me is being able to mitigate risks - so b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 04:34 PM
25

I completely agree. In university I was dating a guy who was absolute trash. He was the worst kind of narcissist: the sensitive and emotional type who blamed all his trash behaviour on his difficult childhood. He could never commit to me "because he was so damaged" (his own words) but happily strung me along for 3 years until I decided to go NC. This was about 10 years ago. He reached out to me last year, telling me that he's been going for therapy and that he's changed. He invited me to visit h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 09:19 PM
39

Yes this! I'm 30 and the number of times I get pursued by younger typically hot men! I also look like I'm still in my 20's, so that may also be the reason. Anyhow the wall doesn't exist. I remember going out with my gran (she was in her 60's at the time) and men in their 30's and 40's would often approach her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:17 PM
28

I'm so proud of you. This is definitely not an easy thing to decline when he's fine and you're thirsty (speaking from personal experience 😅)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:21 PM
5

You need to find a professional registered psychologist. They shouldn't allow their biases to get in the way of treating you. Keep looking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:00 PM
4

NLM was a lifesaver for me and my bestie in university 👌 Had to remind myself this today when I realized how little effort the guy I'm dating is putting into getting to know and pursue me. I've decided to remove him from the roster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:10 AM
6

Lol I do the same ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 09:10 AM
6

I loooovve this! Trying this with the next man I talk to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 04:55 PM
12

Yeah same. I'm seeing that with any man some sort of compromise must be made for his ingrained patriarchy. Fuck that though, I'm happy single. I don't think any man is worth that compromise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 06:51 PM
8

Lol I realised this with after my ex. Nobody is meant to be that complicated that you need to do thesis level research to understand them 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:26 PM
8

All of this. He's not really interested in learning, and we're wasting our time
/r/askFDS12/07/20 05:42 PM
8

Ok I've read all the comments and your replies. All the women here have given you all the answers you need, whether you choose to absorb it or not is up to you. My question: do you personally know any women? Are you actually friends with any women? Have you had real talks with women about their relationship choices? It seems like your entire "understanding" of women comes from red pill subs, which is sooooooo harmful and narrow-minded. Then you use some 3rd-hand anecdotal evidence to prove the l…
/r/askFDS12/07/20 05:37 PM
10

The post was highlighting the fact that men use those tools to gaslight women often. A woman's argument will be invalidated by a man just because she got emotional and he was able to stay calm, however in a lot of cases the argument is about something that affects the woman personally, so of course she'll get emotional. But instead of trying to listen and understand, the man is too busy trying to win the argument.
/r/askFDS02/07/20 11:31 AM
8

My 2 cents: I'm still an fds newbie, maybe apprentices would have better insight. That thought loop you go through where you realise that you actually aren't a nvm and then judge yourself for thinking you are needs to be addressed. Yes therapy is a great place to address it, however if that's not possible you can speak to a trusted and insightful friend who can help you think through it. You might actually have some low or negative value traits that you need to address; figure them out and addre…
/r/askFDS02/07/20 11:02 AM
19

Ooh yeah. I think a lot of the hate women get with regards to our standards is that men often protect their own ideas of value onto what women might value. Our idea of high value isn't "rich, tall, handsome and 10" dick". And the problem is that you get so many men who just focus on these superficial value markers, and in turn hate women for being superficial, when they are the ones actually counting themselves out. But yeah well done on the personal growth, that's the type of stuff we want to s…
/r/askFDS02/07/20 10:51 AM
25

Same, I find texting a waste of time. I see it more as a means to an end, the end goal being to arrange a face to face meet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:56 AM
9

Yep checks out. Low effort abound
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 06:11 PM
24

So true. I remember when I was still a teen boys would be so quick to say I love you, and I'd always ask what do you love about me? Do you even know me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:43 AM
23

Oh yeah definitely. There's a difference between "you're so beautiful" and "I love how you're so into (insert true fact about you), and the way you (insert another unique fact about you)"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:40 AM
1

Depends on what it is that you're looking for. Are you looking for a monogamous committed relationship, just without the finality of marriage? Do you feel like dating multiple people without you having to commit to any of them? I think regardless of what you're looking for always apply FDS: zero boundary crossing and stick to your standards. Make sure you're always getting what you want before you choose to give anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 05:38 PM
16

I've also dated an idiot. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 10:10 PM
41

After 2 years of being in a relationship, where I believed in his potential and dreams of pursuing a music career (I know, I know, I was DUMB), he eventually admitted that his ideal relationship is where he's being taken care of by the woman, and that because I earn more I should fork out more for dates & trips (insert trash emoji)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 10:03 PM
12

Stop interacting with these men, they generally seem like trash 'friends'. Comparing you to other women ain't cool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:56 PM
23

Yes this, it's like being stuck in the cycle of abuse - you keep looking for examples of the abuse so you can get some sort of vindication. It's not healthy. We need to focus on healing and elevating ourselves, which in turn will lead to stronger boundaries and higher standards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:25 PM
18

Thank you so much for saying this. Majority of the posts here don't do this sub justice. We need more strategy posts and less man-hating posts. We already know the average man is trash, let's focus on not entertaining the trash and rather searching for the gems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 09:11 PM
28

I think his response is even nicer than what you see in realty; usually it's just "oh shame... send nudes, lol"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:37 PM
11

I remember when I was around 12 at my grandfather's funeral (!) some man trying to get me to "chime talk to him around the corner quickly". My uncle saw this exchange and got rid of that man quickly. Another memory: I was 13, running fitness for hockey practice with my team. I ran past a man who groped my breast. I remember being so shocked/in doubt that I just continued running. Also it was done so fast that no one else in my team noticed, so I really doubted if it really happened. Many memorie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:35 AM
1

I've been considering point 3 a lot lately. I've definitely got a hippie style: a visible tattoo on my wrist + a nose ring and rook piercing. I wonder if maybe hvm just aren't checking for that look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 12:15 PM
6

Let the man spend his money on you. I remember reading somewhere that back in the day men would buy women jewels as a safety net for her in case something were to happen to him - she'd easily be able to sell her diamonds to survive. The bigger the diamond the bigger the life assurance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 12:00 PM
13

I had a guy do this to me. I looked bored and disengaged, cut him off and said I had to go. He sent me a message later saying he'll make sure not to go on about his problems again like that in future. Lol he's since learnt to keep the monologues short, and asks more about me and how I'm feeling during dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 10:18 AM
4

Nope... You sound like you have a lot of internal work to do. I hate being judgemental but this is a hard pass. Things you need to work through with therapy: Thinking you're "ugly". This shows really bad self esteem. Thinking you're superior to others. No one is... This is also how incels think; highly problematic in so many ways Using escorts & the sexual perversions. I'm all about sexual liberation and exploring kinks and fantasies, but it sounds like you have an obsession based specifically o…
/r/askFDS22/03/20 09:54 AM
16

I think to some women it can come off as a bit desperate for a relationship, almost like you just want any woman to fill that relationship spot. Personally I wanna see that you "get" me, really like me, and want to be in a relationship with me. A question I have is did you actually genuinely like these women? Was there a real connection before you asked for exclusivity & a relationship? Women can sniff this out, and if we don't feel special or specifically valued we keep it moving.
/r/askFDS20/03/20 07:53 AM
3

I'm somewhere between avoidant and secure. I'm learning to let people in more, but I love solitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 04:35 PM
5

And his responses to the comments show that he's just not getting it (smh). It's so weird how men are incapable of truly seeing themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 04:27 PM
2

I think also consider what your value is based on; it has to be more than your money and things. Find your true value and convey it.
/r/askFDS18/03/20 04:20 PM
4

I'm dying 😂😂😂 yeah ok kudos to you for "building an empire", but what are you about? Who are you? This is what you must focus on. All of that other stuff you mentioned is very braggy and honestly shallow, just staaaahhhhp. Dig deeper.
/r/askFDS18/03/20 04:16 PM
1

I've been thinking about this lately... a lot of times I only get that jolt of excitement when I see him interested in me, otherwise I don't pay men much mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:59 PM
6

Another scene that struck me was the heavy crying scene towards the end with all the women surrounding her, crying with her. I thought that was so beautiful; that despite the horror of this cult, the bond and support amongst the women was amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:54 PM
2

Ugh I got physically repulsed reading this. I just see a wall of sob stories and excuses. It'll be hard because you probably love him, but he's wishy washy and needs to sort himself out. Boy bye. You know what to do. Make it easy for yourself, delete and block
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 08:46 PM
8

I have 1 male friend, he's gay. The other male "friends" I have/had are definitely not platonic. I used to believe I could have straight platonic male friends... until they all at some point tried something
/r/askFDS16/03/20 03:48 PM
5

I remember reading somewhere that as long as you can prove that he agreed to pay you back then it constitutes as a loan agreement. This is South African (Roman Dutch) law, but I'm sure a similar principal will apply in the UK. A text message which acknowledges the debt will suffice, something along the lines of: You: hey when do you think you'll be able to pay me back the rest of the money you owe me? Him: yeah sorry, I'll pay you month end I went through something similar in my early 20s when I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 02:56 PM
1

I deleted his number, but he often comes to my office and comes to my desk to chat. How do I keep my distance from him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 07:03 AM
3

I realised that I left out some info. So the first time we bumped into each other in the office we agreed we'd see each other at a dance party that was happening later that night (it wasn't an official date though). He came, we danced, we kissed. He asked if he could "take me home", which was a hard nope from me. We then agreed we'd see each other at the next party (still no official date). As a side note he's also a shit texter; takes forever to respond, and when he does it's a very short respo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 11:16 AM
2

What's worked for me so far: Finding a social hobby. Think of anything you've always wanted to do, find a group of people who do it, and join. I do kizomba & salsa classes which have a party generally every weekend. I have a friend who's part of a hiking/camping group that I'm interested in maybe joining. I've met a few HVM in dance class, no concrete dates yet though 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 09:15 PM
1

This!!!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 01:52 PM
2

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 01:37 PM
5

Get him out of your house and read the FDS handbook
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 01:37 PM
4

I'm going through something similar. I met him at dance class, only to find that he works for my company (we're based in different offices, but he often comes to work from my office). He seems interested enough to ask if I'm coming to dance class/dance socials, but I guess not enough to ask me out on a real date. So I'm taking that as a nope. The difficult thing is that he'll often come to talk to me in the office and I'm trying to act whatever, but each time it sparks the attraction 😢 anyway I'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 01:25 PM
3

Serious question here, what's wrong with finding porn on his browser?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:11 AM
1

My gauge is usually how well he kisses and (once you've decided that he's specifically fwb material) his skill with his hands. If he sucks I stop him and excuse myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:05 PM
1

Mitigate this by being honest with your intentions. Tell him you want no strings attached sex and that you're dating other people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:02 PM
1

Yes, and from this I think we specifically need a to-the-point post that addresses what a fwb actually is. A fwb is not a guy you give into sex with because you're looking for more and hoping he'll wife you. A fwb is not a guy you'd actually see dating, because he generally misses a standard or 2 (remember one of the pinned posts that differentiates between a standard vs a red-flag) A fwb portrays hvm behaviour (doesn't lie, treats you well, sticks to plans), but as mentioned above he probably d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:55 PM
1

You forget that fwb relationships are 100% to your benefit and on your own terms. You aren't "with" him. You have sex with him when you're horny, then continue enjoying your life without him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:48 PM
1

That's actually the point of having a dedicated fwb, especially as a woman who enjoys having sex regularly but is still single. Instead of hooking up with different people, you generally have that one person who you (safely) have sex with. Of course abstaining between relationships is safer, but the alternative safest option is safe sex with one person while you look for a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:45 PM
1

I also feel my fwb falling for me emotionally some times, but I often do a reality check for him, like subtly reminding him that I'm still dating other people/looking for love, and that he should do the same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:39 PM
1

I so agree. I have a long-term fwb, we've been on and off hooking up for the past 2-3 years between relationships. I chose him based on the same criteria you mentioned: he's great at sex, I enjoy his company, but he isn't really financially stable or viable as a serious partner so I find it impossible to fall for him emotionally. However we get along and there's mutual respect👌 Having a fwb really does help prevent you getting swayed into sex too soon by a man who's pursuing you. I was recently …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:31 PM
1

Not OP, but I think any social hobby is good. I do partnered dancing (salsa & kizomba) and this keeps me active and forces me out of the house every week, also my dating pool has vastly expanded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:23 PM
4

From what I've noticed, they gauge by throwing low value/low effort behaviour at you and seeing how you react/respond. Generally if you entertain rubbish they will see you as an easy target and continue with the low value behaviour. Don't tolerate bad behaviour from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 01:21 PM
7

I'm new to the subreddit, but I think the idea is that you don't owe a man monogamy (100% of your time and attention) just because he's taken you out on a few dates. That's reserved for a man who gives you everything you're looking for in a relationship. You're not changing your personality, keep being who you are, just value yourself enough to not feel like you have no choice but to be with a person because that's all you're offered with right now. Multiple dating helps with the scarcity mental…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 12:59 PM
1

I love this. I'm going to write down a list of red flags/deal breakers and standards 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 11:53 AM
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