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sixdownsevenup Archive

View 6 posts and 174 comments by sixdownsevenup on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

That is my assessment - but given the gravity of of her saying that, and her never whipping that out before, and having dealt with suicides in my family - I am taking a cautious approach. I appreciate your comment.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 11:26 PM
1

Thank you for your comment. I can see how it might look like that. Just to clarify - my actual concern here is actual intent for self harm which would impact my kids (and me, if I did not take here comment seriously on a provisional basis). I am not trying to fix her emotions, but am weighing as to whether to get a mental health provider involved in the case that she was not just being manipulative. I appreciate you underscoring important points.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 08:31 PM
1

Noted. My assessment is there is near zero risk of her lying about DV etc. But I will be on high alert and have cleared space on my mobile phone for that purpose if I sense that my assessment is incorrect. Thanks for pointing that out. That was already something I thought about - but always bears reminding.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 08:23 PM
1

Yeah - I got your drift from the previous comment - point noted. And of course - I actually am telling her within days. Since there are children involved, I want to make a good call as to whether to get a mental health professional involved or not.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 08:00 PM
1

Your history of having no frame has made this kind of behavior not only permissible, but effective in changing your mind and getting you into her frame. Yes, this is true. I have made changes and have had a pretty solid frame for a while now, and haven't responded to the emotional manipulation once I saw it for what it was. I appreciate your observations and suggestions. I agree that the behavior needs to be addressed. My idea about the counselor is that I can make this plain, bring up her ambig…
/r/askMRP03/12/18 06:31 PM
1

I appreciate your thoughtful response. Thank you. My assessment is that this is most likely acting out and just an attempt at emotional manipulation. As another commenter said, she knows what the deal is since I am not good at acting and I have allowed certain circumstances to delay my separation. Perhaps I am, as he put it - "a spineless sack of shit". Whether that is true, or not, the fact of the matter is have to deal with the situation at hand. I don't think it is particularly blue pill to c…
/r/askMRP03/12/18 06:18 PM
1

It's been in place long enough to cover that sort of tragedy. Most have clauses that delay coverage of that event for quite a while. (btw - funny - dark, but funny)
/r/askMRP03/12/18 06:14 PM
1

...probably better to say that I am prepared as I can be.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 05:58 PM
1

Based on well over 20 years of experience with this person. But, I am prepared if it goes to shit.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 05:52 PM
1

Fair enough. I can see how it looks like that. Maybe you're right.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 05:37 PM
1

Thanks for your thoughts. For a variety of reasons, all the attorneys have told me I am a good position. The wild card is if she turns into a vengeance devil - which, while always possible, I assess as unlikely. That said, your point is legit - and my feeling was that setting a counseling appt is something that establishes the concern and I can correlate that to her making those statements.
/r/askMRP03/12/18 04:58 PM
1

This fellow has an interesting take on violence. This TEDx gives a good overview. Of course he is selling something, and it is not a replacement for BJJ or other training - but there is a mindset that is important. Watch the exercise he presents in the video and see what your reaction is: The Paradox of Violence
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/18 05:45 PM
2

You can go into "Shared Content" in your user settings on Amazon and unshare any book etc that you want and it won't show up on her device. I had that issue with MMSLP and figured it out...
/r/askMRP12/06/17 07:39 PM
1

Within the context of The 12 Step Plan of Dread, the first 6 levels are really getting your shit together, leading, and being attractive (and not being unattractive). When you are speaking of "Dread", are you talking more about levels 7 and beyond?
/r/askMRP12/06/17 04:57 PM
1

Thanks - will do. Wasn't sure there was enough analysis in there for MRP.
/r/askMRP11/06/17 08:19 PM
1

OK - that makes sense. Thanks for unpacking it.
/r/askMRP11/06/17 04:12 PM
3

I agree - low-lying fruit and some easy wins are good to have. Although I think that it is natural that even when starting out that men will naturally address their appearance and maybe hygiene at the beginning anyway. That said, I think that it is a RP truism that appearance doesn't matter as much as being able to handle shit tests and comfort tests. And, of course, lifting is a long lead-time activity to results, so starting that immediately is important, as is having some sort of plan. So, fr…
/r/askMRP11/06/17 04:11 PM
1

I find this to ring true. There are some tactics in both books that are pretty good, but I am using the 12 levels as the basis for my MAP. So, when you say Monk Mode - are you advocating a sex moratorium? Would be interested in you expanding on that statement. I have always seen Monk Mode as useful in specific circumstances, but not universally. (As an aside, I am considering a form of Monk Mode - although modified because of the kids)
/r/askMRP11/06/17 04:03 PM
2

Yes - I did understand it. See my reply to u/addictedtoyourface in this thread.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/17 05:28 PM
1

That's the intuitive sense that I figured you were using. The term ego gets used a fair amount in discussing RP/MRP and in terms of "killing" ego. I thought it was worth a quick request for clarification for me and others that might be familiar with ego in the Freudian sense. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/17 05:27 PM
1

OK - so I understand this is a bit spergie ... but ... What is your definition of "Ego" here? In Freud's structural model (id, ego, superego) ... ego just is. It is what mediates the id to reality. In that model the ego will use a variety of defense mechanisms to do this - but in that model it is necessary and not something that can be eliminated....
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/17 01:18 PM
1

Another vote for a thorough review of transactions under her watch. As others have said, her reaction is probably just emotions and uncertainty, but it is not impossible that there is another reason for her reaction.
/r/askMRP11/05/17 03:16 PM
1

Yup. That article is a good overview. HIIT is hard though - it really requires being pretty well recovered and an aggressive mindset to really get after it and do them properly.
/r/askMRP11/05/17 03:13 PM
2

The issue with "cardio" is really when talking about endurance activities like running, cycling, etc. Long steady cardio intervals typically result in depressed testosterone levels which is opposite of what we want as men. Now, there are certainly those out there who take the position that the only acceptable cardio is "horizontal cardio" with a partner (see r/swoleacceptance), some type of cardio is desirable. A more acceptable term and outlook is typically "Metabolic Conditioning" (or MetCon).…
/r/askMRP10/05/17 08:39 PM
2

You are seeking validation. Once you fuck strange, it will be an "oh shit, what have I done ?" Moment. You ain't ready Ask me how I know ? Can confirm.
/r/askMRP09/05/17 01:59 PM
1

Also be clear that some of those costs are just not going to really be apparent to you until you cross the Rubicon. And once you have you can never undue it - you'll have to live with it.
/r/askMRP09/05/17 01:58 PM
2

She doesn't want to know how the sausage is made. In terms of being a high value man, I think this applies in most aspects of life. I like being in "teacher" mode and explaining how things work to people. When I am not careful I can find myself explaining to programmers about the philosophy of how we are negotiating a contract with a client. Same thing applies. They don't want to know how the sausage is made - they want to be able to do their thing.
/r/askMRP09/05/17 01:54 PM
1

That's a short amount of time. A lot of men here are looking at 1.5-2 years.
/r/askMRP09/05/17 01:45 PM
1

They overlap but cover things from quite different angles. I would recommend reading both. I am reading Mindful Attraction Plan right now and am working to reconcile a MAP that includes both books.
/r/askMRP08/05/17 06:11 PM
1

Read. Lift. And for fuck's sake fix this -> and above all: I don't have a clue what I really want. Until you get clear on that, no one can offer any real assistance. Sure you're not a troll?
/r/askMRP08/05/17 11:48 AM
3

Effective clarification - appreciate it.
/r/askMRP05/05/17 06:43 PM
3

A thought to consider is that she is using her counselor to set her up for custody in a divorce battle by convincing them that you are the narcissist.
/r/askMRP05/05/17 05:28 PM
4

If she is in fact a narcissist, your assessment is spot on. But you need to educate yourself a lot more, and your planning for ejection needs to be thorough and spot-on. She is conditioning her entire social network (which substantially overlaps yours) to believe her. Be on the lookout for her gas-lighting you. Something important to bear in mind is that narcissists can (not necessarily will) become dangerous when their lies and/or narrative is about to be exposed. This could be directed at you,…
/r/askMRP05/05/17 05:27 PM
3

This is something I have been reflecting on and wonder about. As a first reaction I can see that this is exactly the right way to look at it. But, at some point, doesn't her lack of effort simply reflect her. If I put in the work consistently over a long period of time and see all the other indicators of my progress, it has to be on her at some point? I guess that is the point of running the MAP is that the last stages are where this assessment is made concrete?
/r/askMRP05/05/17 05:16 PM
1

That's my plan. Thx!
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/17 04:58 PM
1

I work on very strict squat form - following the Mark Rippetoe form guidelines. Feet at 30 degrees, knees tracking over feet etc. It is possible this is nerve pain related to the back injury I was dealing with in March/April - but it is hard to say. Also, because of a childhood injury, one of my legs is a little longer than the other - so it is possible maybe that has something to do with it. I did post a video of my squat to r/formcheck and it seems like it is OK. Thanks for the tip tho'. AM is…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/17 12:36 PM
1

Neutragena T/Gel has worked well for me in the past...
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/17 02:03 AM
1

Mission: Still taking the mission on a weekly basis. Continue to seek to be my own mental point of origin until it is part of me and doesn't require conscious thought. Continue Book of Pook, and work on Mindful Attraction Plan/MMSLP to create a written MAP. Physical Have been staying on track with SL5x5 until today. Just haven't recovered sufficiently. Have been having leg pain than manifests in my outer quads/hips when I stand or descend towards a squat. It is a bit disturbing. Took an extra da…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/17 01:53 AM
2

Yes. Have been practicing this, and talk about it in my OYS posts. My comments about finding women to practice on may just require I look at some other places. For example, today I went to grocery store and Convenience store at lunch. As usual, I am scanning - trying to engage with anyone that will provide eye contact. Between both venues there were only 3 women that were in age-range to open, and all 3 were very closed body language and moving quickly with their cart. Maybe I should just take t…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/17 08:48 PM
1

Definitely start in the weekly OYS thread r/marriedredpill
/r/askMRP03/05/17 06:22 PM
7

This. I thought with my education level and intelligence that therapy was going to be something I could just "get done" and get on with life. It has been one of the most difficult things I have done, alongside MRP. Confronting issues that have been pushed down and covered up does require courage, but also patience and self-love (in an authentic sense). One of the real challenges for me is that it is not like a checklist, where if I do A, B, C - and do them well - that it will be successful. It i…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/17 01:14 PM
2

If I try to do something nice for her and she doesn’t respond well, I get pissed. Covert contract... ?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/17 01:00 PM
2

Of the 60 DoD this week's challenge is the most difficult for me by far. Since Game necessarily includes frame, OI, Kino and confidence it is hitting areas that I am weak in across the board. Although OI is coming along, I still frequently feel like I am floundering on Frame and Confidence. And Kino is a funny thing. I touch my wife a lot, but a lot of it is comfort things like back rubs, or she requests rubbing her temples when she has a headache (a lot). Trying to move Kino to funny/sexy is us…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/17 12:19 PM
2

Relevant: "Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them." - Epictetus From "How to become Outcome Independent using a Stoic trick" in the MRP Wiki
/r/askMRP01/05/17 12:57 AM
2

The shame and failure you feel is caused by your interpretation of events, by what you think your failure "means." Can confirm. If you can just get this one type of self-talk derailed it will help enormously.
/r/askMRP30/04/17 02:10 PM
2

"Coffee Sex is for closers winners/Alphas only" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMFwFgG9NE8
/r/askMRP27/04/17 07:09 PM
1

Get a PO Box Would not have mattered. Patriot Act requires your home address in the US to open an account. I had added a mailing address from the beginning. I can't beat myself up over this since I contacted the bank before opening it and was assured that if there was a mailing address (which is where a PO box would have been allowed) that they would only send mail to that. (edit) This is less DEER and more just warning other men about this if they were thinking of trying to establish a private …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 12:17 PM
1

OYS is about what you learned, not how life beat you up. For sure I need to incorporate this better into my overall mindset. I definitely can get caught up in OYS as a "book report" instead of the necessary exercise to learn from mistakes and successes.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 12:11 PM
1

Fair.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 12:09 PM
1

Good points. You hit the nail on the head about mindset. In the past month I have finally felt that coming around. Killing the covert contracts and building my own frame has been some of the most difficult work I have engaged in. Every day I am waking up and working towards being my own mental point of origin.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 12:08 PM
1

A lot of stuff here for me to process. Appreciate it.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 12:05 PM
1

But it is still opaque. She has no access.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 01:02 AM
1

Well - I was trying to be opaque - but the bank screwed me by sending mail to an address other than the mailing address. I specifically sent their support an email question about that before I opened the account and they assured me that if I opened the account with a mailing address they would only send mail to that address. Additionally I checked the "paperless" box too.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/17 01:02 AM
1

With regards to my assessment of comfort test - I can see now that I was totally off base. Probably my hamster running on that. Ugh.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/17 11:26 PM
1

It's clear I fucked up. Probably not recoverable in the near term I suppose. Basically I wanted it because I wanted to be able to spend money on things I wanted without having to justify every single purchase (think Brazilian ju jitsu, red pill books, cycling equipment). I also want to incrementally move towards getting her working again and having income go first into our own personal accounts (she has one that I don't have access to although, to the best of my knowledge, it has been dormant fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/17 11:24 PM
1

I can see your first point there - and it is probably on target. Should have just said "It is something I wanted to do". Actually - she is an expert on bank stuff (worked in the banks for 10 years), and I know that they do send out a statement, and she knows I know. It was a rhetorical question. I was furious about the mail - it should have never come to the house. That was not my fuck up - it was the banks. They confirmed when I called that it should never have come. For me it was a major pain …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/17 09:43 PM
6

For a variety of reasons poor excuses, I never got to Owning My Shit last week. This OYS post will contain some of the previous weeks shit as well as this week's shit. Mission: Still taking the mission week-by-week. For the foreseeable future I will be seeking to be my own mental point of origin until that is so part of me I don't need to think about it anymore. My mission for the next week is to continue to participate in 60DoD, continue working through NMMNG, continue Book of Pook, and be cons…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/17 01:05 PM
1

Hmmm ... interesting - will need to check that out. Because of the watch type, my current piece has a nice stainless steel bracelet. But some of the the fashion watches I have been looking at would work well with the NATO straps. Great idea - thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/17 06:29 PM
1

Since I am presently around 22% bodyfat I don't think that I will get to purchasing any clothes. I do need an additional pair of well-fitting jeans so will probably look at getting one of those while I am cutting BF. Instead I will be focused on regular haircuts, and working on accessories and shoes. My shoe game is not terrible, although I could add one pair of lighter brown dress shoes to the rotation. During hygiene week I tried coloring my hair to get rid of the gray, and it worked pretty we…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/17 04:36 PM
3

So - I am a relative newbie too (seriously started Jan '17) - and I have answered both of the questions you mentioned for myself. Not sure if my answers are helpful to you - but here goes. With regards to "begin seducing her" in Dread Step 1 - I think the key word is begin. Additionally, seducing is a process that takes time. As u/man_in_the_world pointed out, you are probably trying to move too quickly. Also, careful of covert contracts in this. I finally understood that although the aim of sed…
/r/askMRP24/04/17 02:17 PM
1

I already do pretty well on hygiene. But going forward for 60 DoD I am going to try out the following: Hair: Because of the way my hair is along with the shape of my face, my base style is pretty fixed (#2 or #3 swayback). But I decided that I will try out coloring my hair to get rid of the gray and deduct some years. Will need to figure out what shade to try, and go from there. Teeth: I take good care of my oral hygiene, so no changes are required there from a basic care perspective. However, I…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/17 11:57 PM
2

OK - I will spell it out. It's hard. Sure. Good - do it anyway. u/redpillmountain gave you even more direct input. Don't take up a fuckarounditis job where you won't put yourself in contact with superior role models.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/17 09:18 PM
1

So, it's hard? And that's a problem why?
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/17 08:07 PM
3

I am right in the middle of this. I have been doing some therapy with a counselor that is "red pill friendly" (or at least non-judgemental about it) and something that he said recently stuck with me and maybe something worthwhile for you to think about. He told me that if I don't start acknowledging my needs and start doing something about them and keep ignoring them, that there was going to be a point where they would surface in unhealthy ways - addictions, health problems etc. I have seen this…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/04/17 03:03 PM
2

I see what you did there ... a little fogging and positive assertion ... lolz...
/r/askMRP15/04/17 04:01 PM
2

The question as to whether there is a distinction is interesting. Ever since reading Chapter 13 of Napoleon Hill's "Think and Grow Rich" ("THE MYSTERY OF SEX TRANSMUTATION", the idea of of channeling that energy has fascinated me. For me at least, horniness is required for sex drive - but not vice versa. Over the past number of years as I have struggled with hormone issues that have killed my libido at times and caused issues with ED. It has really driven home how tightly my identity is coupled …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/17 07:13 PM
1

Don't want to go into detail, but there were additional factors there that prevented PIV. I have been dealing with some ED and libido issues as well and given her attitude and the way she said it, I knew it was not going to be a good outcome for me or for her. My issues are mostly hormonal. and I have an appt set with a men's clinic to address those, but it isn't until next month. There is also resentment that seems to be abating as I internalize AWALT and my contributions to the present situati…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/17 06:43 PM
3

You realize that you didn't answer his question - right?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/17 03:17 PM
1

Physical: Have been very strict with the SL5x5 every other day, and for 2017 60 DoD added daily push-ups and have not missed a day. I am adding 5 push-ups a day and am up to 75 in 3x25. I will probably add in another set to keep the max per set at 25 for now. I still need to get someone to review my squat form. One really irritating and concerning issue is that I have waaayyyyy more muscle soreness now than I did with the same weight/reps on these exercises back in Jan/Feb before my back injury.…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/17 11:27 PM
1

Top kek!
/r/askMRP10/04/17 10:56 PM
1

I like the system mindset. When I have been in the groove in the past it was always like that - it was just what I did - no planning because it was just habit.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 08:37 PM
1

I have found the bf estimate in the scales to usually be 3-5% high. I think it really depends on your composition, and how closely it matches the models they use to map the impedance to BF%. It has been mentioned before around here, but there is an excellent guide to visually estimating your BF% here http://truth-dealer.com/physiology/fundamentals/lean-body-weight-03.html. Alternatively, get a tape measure and use the Navy BF% calculator.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 07:39 PM
1

What's your position on "cheat days"? I am at least kicking off the first 4 weeks using them - but am considering going "hard mode" and just eliminate them. They have been helpful for me with compliance in the past, but I wonder if they have been a factor in my falling off the wagon in the past.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 07:27 PM
2

Last week did the Week 1 of the Warrior Diet to kick off body re-composition. For the remainder of the 60 DoD I am going to do a combination of leangains.com style Intermittent Fasting and calorie counting while keeping an eye on macros. Will do a full-on “cheat day” on the weekends, but will rigorously limit it to a single weekend day and not let it devolve into “cheat weekends” as I have in the past. Going to limit caffeine intake to early mornings, and go with water or water + electrolytes du…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 07:25 PM
1

I'll put some serious thought into the last sentence of your comment - that is probably a fair point. That said, I can't say too much about the work issues (which are dominating my time) because of doxing risks. I recognize that I am still early into this process, and after over 20 years of marriage, it will take a long time to turn this ship around if it is possible. There are a lot of things that I have become passive on that I need reinsert myself into - meal planning was one. I used to do al…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/17 01:06 PM
1

If you can maintain frame, OI, lead at home, and manage 2 plates - all I can say is mazel tov! I don't think my advice applies to someone already with plates in motion (if it is working for them), more directed towards someone early in the process like me. I thinking spinning too early can lead to solidifying blue-pill behaviors, or at least negatively impacting leadership at home.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/17 01:41 PM
1

Oh - fuck ya brother. In fact, i was still in total beta mode when I spun it up. When I did it I was butthurt from duty-sex and rejection at home and my primary reason for doing it wasn't even sex per se, but getting that fix of external validation from a women. I mean, straight out of NMMNG. Unfortunately, while I was still mostly blue pill I caught the feelz which ended up just proving all of what I am learning now about AWALT etc. Fucking train wreck for me emotionally. Also, made me very dis…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/17 12:16 PM
1

I am exactly where you are at regarding external validation, and specifically sexual validation, from women. I agree strongly with u/LymanRP about resisting the urge to cheat. I spun up a plate last spring because of my need for validation and let myself fall for her. She ghosted me in late February. The fallout for me has been extraordinarily painful. And is significantly impacted my relationship at home. As you found it take a lot of effort just to find someone, and then the secrets. And you c…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/17 01:10 AM
1

Physical: After a lot of muscle soreness last week, I restarted SL5x5 on Monday morning. I deloaded some additional weight from squats, and was able to do the 5x5. My form has deteriorated with the time off, but I was able to recover from that workout and lift again today. I still have residual soreness in my lower back, but the lifting only irritated it a little bit. Watched some Rippetoe videos on squat form and today was much better form-wise. I am participating in the 2017 60DoD and have add…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/17 12:36 AM
1

Can confirm.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/17 02:00 AM
2

Coming off of a lower back injury sustained about 5 weeks ago while squatting (SL5x5). Not sure what is going on, but I needed to deload my squats by more than the recommended 50%, and they are still harder than expected. This is the 4th time I have had to almost start over on SL5x5. Started on Jan 1 with bar weight on squats, and worked up to a personal best of 205lbs when I hurt my back (pro tip - do not lift weights while on drugs that impact your balance and/or coordination.). My goals for t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/17 01:49 AM
1

Are you finding that consistently using the recommendations to remove time and attention is a) resulting in your feeling better about you and your ability to maintain frame, and b) are you finding that your wife is coming around? (I know that is not the primary reason to do it - but just wondering if you are observing that outcome).
/r/askMRP31/03/17 05:20 PM
1

Thanks. Yes I get the Oak concept, but still working my way out of the faggot stage. I'll get there.
/r/askMRP31/03/17 12:25 AM
4

Start lifting. Start reading the side bar materials pronto! Like u/screechhater said in another comment - you got life by the balls. Go get after it!
/r/askMRP31/03/17 12:23 AM
1

Fair enough. What about the circumstance where she is asking you while she is sobbing and falling apart? I don't want to go all spergie and shit - and I asses that is the most likely response in my case. Treat it like a comfort test ... or a shitty comfort test?
/r/askMRP30/03/17 08:05 PM
1

Practical question about removing yourself. I have seen this advice a lot (bar. shower, bed, STFU). I can also see a lot of wisdom in it. I have still haven't been at that point yet, but would be interested to hear from guys about the first time they did this, and how they responded to the barrage of questions. Did you get questioned. How did that go. I have fear of not being able to just STFU in the face of the emotions and questions - especially since that behavior would be entirely new for me…
/r/askMRP30/03/17 07:37 PM
1

I am doing just this and I find value in it. u/westernhagen is correct about your friends not wanting to hear it. They may do it because they are your friends, but they don't want to deal - they have their own shit to deal with. Caveat - you need to try to find a counselor or therapist that is red-pill friendly or neutral. In fact, I stayed away from ones that were specifically "relationship" or "marriage" specialists.
/r/askMRP30/03/17 06:20 PM
2

ahhhh ... lolz ... I thought you were referring to my comment... ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/17 12:53 PM
2

??
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 08:06 PM
2

Hmm - fair enough. I was specifically referring to a number of articles I have recently come upon during searches that were written by woman and focus on talking about "how you feel". If we're talking about 2 men talking with what u/[deleted] refers to as "open talk" - then yeah - I am down with that.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 08:03 PM
2

Can confirm sending lead downrange can temporarily relieve stress. It is manly as well...
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 04:56 PM
2

OK, I'll play. Agreed that reading without action is simply mental masturbation. That said, if someone has dysfunctional coping strategies, how is it a bad idea to read about better coping strategy and put it into action? It's all well to say "buck up and be a man Sparky" - but it is of no help to someone with embedded patterns of behavior they are trying to modify.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 03:47 PM
2

Is that a fact scrubpup? And what precisely do you recommend for those who had fucked up childhoods and adopted dysfunctional coping strategies as described in NMMNG? Oh - nevermind - since you don't think you can learn anything from an internet forum I guess that means there is nothing the sidebar readings can teach you. lolz...
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 02:29 PM
2

lolz ... whatever floats your boat - but you are committing the genetic fallacy. I will take solid information with a format that fits my masculine imperative wherever i can find it. This approach seems pretty solid to me...
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/17 02:08 PM
3

Fair. I sort of pointed towards applicability without detail. I will put some thought into it and update the original post with some detail since there is another comment asking the same thing. Will get to that later this afternoon. EDIT: I did read the posting guidelines and Rule 0 was a concern. Fixed.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/17 06:00 PM
1

Physical: Back continues to get better. Stopped taking the muscle relaxant before bed and not having much, if any discomfort overnight. Resumed lifting yesterday and it felt fantastic to get back under some weight. I am a little concerned about my leg muscles. There was another medication I was taking for just under 4 weeks that seemed to cause some muscle weakness in my legs, and some "foot drop" on my left side. I deloaded my lifts by 50% based on the SL5x5 apps recommendation. This put my squ…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/17 01:12 PM
1

Would be interested in seeing how your experience with the pomodoro technique plays out in future OYS posts. I have worked it in the past, but have had the most success when applying to work that spans pomodoros. Has been less effective for me with management and sales work that has lots of very short tasks like phone calls and emails.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/17 12:31 PM
1

I see. Sounds like you have thought through that.
/r/askMRP28/03/17 12:12 PM
3

Just trying to understand the present situation - are there no provisions for your children to stay with you at the (former) family home? Don't know what you are wanting with regards to custody - but am assuming that your attorney is advising you on this relative to what you want.
/r/askMRP27/03/17 11:32 AM
1

Thanks. I have a number of shaker cups etc. You are the second person to mention the Hydoflask - will check it out.
/r/askMRP26/03/17 09:14 PM
1

So - just to hijack OP a little more - what do you use for bottles?
/r/askMRP26/03/17 06:22 PM
1

So, I get the thermogenic effect of food selection, but I am not sure that staying in ketosis would be sustainable for me. Also, to be clear - all I was really trying to get to is that fucked up hormones can mean a fucked up metabolism and can shift that regardless of diet. In other words, let's say for the discussion that keto is the best. What I am saying is that with normal hormones keto maintenance intake would be X and with fucked hormones it's Y and X > Y...
/r/askMRP25/03/17 09:22 PM
0

I have been fascinated by Soylent and have been considering it. Wondering about the new flavors for the pre-mix.
/r/askMRP25/03/17 09:20 PM
1

Have you tried the new flavors? Are you using the premixed or powder?
/r/askMRP25/03/17 07:41 PM
1

I can totally believe the OP. r/InChargeMan - have you had hormone issues? I do now, but there was a time before when I did not. When I didn't I could definitely loose weight @2000kCal/day and 6 workouts/wk. Now, I have to be below 1800 to lose anything and below 1600 to consistently lose reasonable lbs/wk. with SL5x5 every other day. And yes, I track everything in a spreadsheet sperg-style - so these are real numbers. Metabolism is a funny thing.
/r/askMRP25/03/17 07:40 PM
1

I second getting a kitchen scale if you don't have one. It will change the way you see quantities.
/r/askMRP25/03/17 05:18 PM
1

I totally agree with the recommendation to cut back to 2-3/days per week. If he is Low-T/Free-T then recovery is going to take a lot longer. EDIT: Fair point about the BCAAs and carb timing relative to OP's present condition.
/r/askMRP25/03/17 04:05 PM
3

Here ya go!
/r/askMRP25/03/17 03:54 PM
1

Except in those cases where Total T is profoundly low, the Drs. don't give a fuck (generally). You need to be your own advocate and keep pushing until you get someone that will take it seriously.
/r/askMRP25/03/17 03:50 PM
2

I disagree with the recommendation for him to stop lifting, although I agree with your larger point about being concerned that there is enough nutrition for lifting. I have experience with both zone diet and intermittent fasting type diets (specifically, recently, the Warrior Diet but I got a lot of tips and info from http://www.leangains.com/) while continuing SL5x5 and made OK progress (considering my hormone issues) while losing wieght (squats from bar weight to 205lbs which was just under 1x…
/r/askMRP25/03/17 03:47 PM
1

OK - so first off - just be aware that what could be going on may be hormonal but "Total Testosterone" can be misleading (Free T and some of the other hormones are very important too). Another warning is that it can be very difficult to find a Dr. that gives a flying fuck. I have a detailed post regarding my struggles over at r/steroids. If I was in your position, would look into getting an independent male hormone panel right now as a baseline (if you are in a place where you are allowed to do …
/r/askMRP25/03/17 03:00 PM
2

lolz ... oh yeah. I recognized my inner sperg long ago. Have been working hard to tame it in social settings ...
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/17 09:19 PM
7

So much sperg... (not that I am complaining ... this is something I could totally see myself thinking about).
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/17 12:14 PM
1

I am wondering that myself. My oldest is an early teenager. Wondering if this should wait until 16? 18, I think is waiting too long ...
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/17 09:34 PM
1

Totally feel you on the Frame issue. For me it's all about Nice Guy syndrome....
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/17 08:59 PM
1

Do you want to bring it up? Then do it.
/r/askMRP21/03/17 12:58 PM
5

Physical: Was able to get a stronger muscle relaxant for my back, so sleep has been much better this week. Did not lift again last week due to the back injury. As of today it is feeling much better. Will take one more week off and if I am zero or near-zero morning pain next Monday I'll de-load and resume lifting. Looking back, I should have practiced more reslilence and come up with a plan for working on areas that did not put my back at risk. I will be looking at doing that over the rest of the…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/17 12:48 PM
1

I'll be the first to admit that I am still a bit lost (which is why I posted this). That said, I am not aimless. It's clear to me which general direction to head in, and I'm doing that. Your comment is fair based on my reply. As far as I can tell I am a rather severe case of NMMNG and as a result have been heavy on the beta behaviors all my life. Even in my late teen's early 20's when I worked in the outdoor industry leading rock/ice climbing and backpacking, what little Alpha I had going on was…
/r/askMRP19/03/17 05:46 PM
1

That is a great question. I am working on that now. In my case there are quite a few, so I am trying to focus on trying to identify simple new behaviors that might impact multiple old one. For instance, I think that I am going to add an OYS goal of constantly asking myself - what do I want. Especially reminding myself of this when I am faced with decisions - instead of thinking of everyone else. This can probably help develop Frame better than trying to extinguish multiple old behaviors around p…
/r/askMRP19/03/17 01:51 PM
1

It's clearly a key element. I have been dealing with some other issues aside from my back, and I can feel my mental state shifting because I haven't been lifting. Other workouts don't have the same effect.
/r/askMRP19/03/17 01:46 PM
2

So, I read the books out of order so have finished MMSLP (a couple of reads) and WISNIFG. I identify with most of the traits in NMMNG. Although I see it as an important book to read, certainly not every man will have "Nice Guy Syndrome". I definitely do. Not only that, but exactly is it is described in the book I can see how my childhood responses to my parents shit fucked me up. I really don't think that Glover means that anyone should not pursue things like staying in shape, or staying sober -…
/r/askMRP18/03/17 11:25 PM
1

Yes - I understand that well. This will be a multi-year project.
/r/askMRP18/03/17 11:14 PM
1

This is some wisdom right here. Church.
/r/askMRP18/03/17 06:48 PM
1

Yes, several years of weight training to support Triathlon - but SL5x5 every other day from Jan 1 to a little over 3 weeks ago. Injured lower back and (another medical issue). Was up to 205lbs5x5 when injured (almost 1x bodyweight). It is amazing how important that has become to everything. It has really affected my mental state not being able to lift (relatively) heavy. I think I can get back next week and give it a try with a 50-75% deload to see how my back does.
/r/askMRP18/03/17 06:47 PM
1

Developing mission is probably the critical missing link for me. In previous OYS posts I call myself out on not having a mission.
/r/askMRP18/03/17 04:27 PM
1

I am working on the idea that the things that help me DNGAF, OI and have Frame in themselves will gradually push out the dysfunctional NMMNG behaviors. Have you found that to be the case?
/r/askMRP18/03/17 04:07 PM
3

Good stuff - and definitely a concrete action. As an aside, something interesting I noticed (at least about myself) is that the monitoring of possibility of availability is not even about sex most of the time. It is about being in every woman's frame, and not mine. Now that I am aware of it, I catch myself doing it. As Glover said in the last paragraph of the quote, I do this whether or not the woman is someone that I could, or would, want to have sex with. It is bound up with seeking approval.
/r/askMRP18/03/17 03:53 PM
1

That's a good point to consider - thanks. This is not specifically for any reason (at this point) other than to have some resources that I don't have account to anyone but myself about.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 04:10 PM
1

Physical: About 2 weeks back I injured my lower back on squats. Was working what would have been a personal best 5x5 @205lbs. As covered below, I was taking a medication that impacted my balance and coordination and had a bobble in my form and I felt the muscle pull when that happened. Unfortunately, an additional side effect from the medication is muscle weakness/soreness and my legs/hips have been killing me. I just finished tapering off that medication and am still in a bit of withdrawal. Unt…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 12:24 PM
1

It has become clear to me that it is going to take me many months, and probably years to change some of the dysfunctional "nice guy syndrome" behaviors.
/r/askMRP13/03/17 11:06 AM
1

I was sitting in a McD's having my morning caffeine when I read that first chapter or so and I literally felt like I was going to throw-up for a minute. It was an amazingly visceral reaction. I mentioned in another comment that I just completed the first read-through last night. It is tough coming face-to-face with the fact that I am not the person that I try so hard to get everyone (including myself) to believe. It is so clear to me right now that my personal integrity is for shit and I have go…
/r/askMRP12/03/17 01:44 PM
2

For NMMNG I decided to take a much more structured approach and start the sidebar reading over from scratch. Yeah - I've read MMSLP a couple times, and just finished WISNIFG, but I just read them. So much just slid off me like oil off of teflon. I just finished reading NMMNG from start to finish over the past couple of days. Now I am going back and work on a chapter or so each week and really work every one of the exercises. When I finished the first reading last night I was mentally exhausted. …
/r/askMRP12/03/17 01:39 PM
1

Hmmm ... I'll consider that statement - but I am not sure that agree with that. Especially, since this is the "ask"MRP sub. I would think that contributions take the form of asking for help.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 09:10 PM
1

Interesting. Fair point. I didn't see that.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 06:48 PM
1

So - just to be clear, I wasn't angry or mad. I do see guys get crucified here for DEERing to criticism. That was my faggoty attempt at A&A - wasn't meant to be passive aggressive. I understand now that I haven't yet earned that right here. I have received the message and am processing it. I knew I had a long way to go, but it is much much longer than I even knew when I started.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 04:44 PM
2

Fair. I think I'll wait until I absorb the whole book and have something more substantive to contribute.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:41 PM
2

I plan on rereading WISNIFG after this first thorough reading of NMMNG. I just feel, as a n00b, that NMMNG is so important - even after just one chapter - I felt compelled to post. If it spurs some other newbies to get after it sooner, then I can live with the criticism of my posting this.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:21 PM
1

fair enough.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:19 PM
-1

I see - so I should have just DEER'd in the face of your criticism? And we're calling "Agree & Amplify" passive aggressive now? I have looked at your post history and can see your experience and the value you have contributed. I respect that. That said, tell you what - I will be the ultimate judge of myself and whether I have done real work and have something I think I need to contribute.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:18 PM
1

That is why I started with WISNIFG - I thought I was more of a pushover. Now I see that was a symptom of Nice Guy Syndrome. My physical reaction to that discovery motivated me to post.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:08 PM
1

I literally started reading this book this morning at breakfast (I take some solitary time to eat and read). The only breaking free activity I have done is the first one, and that was because I had already started some therapy (MRP friendly) and have 2 others I can talk to about NMMNG. I was just so amazed at the visceral reaction I had to reading all these (really terrible) things that I have been doing my whole life. I just felt like this is a lot of men, and was moved to share the experience.…
/r/askMRP10/03/17 03:06 PM
0

You know - you are exactly right. Taking a risk by using slightly inaccurate terminology to try help other faggoty newbies was clearly a major fuck up on my part. Mea maxima fucking culpa. ;)
/r/askMRP10/03/17 02:36 PM
3

Yes. I see the wisdom of the order in the side bar now. Other newbies - please read these in order. I thought I was making a good decision since I had already previously read MMSLP. It was not. NMMNG is strong medicine and should be taken first.
/r/askMRP10/03/17 02:31 PM
2

Thanks man. I have a plan, I think it will help. But careful with dooz nutz!
/r/askMRP08/03/17 03:22 PM
2

Hey RnRchuck - I think maybe you got me confused with the OP. Just wanted make sure that men know that the complication rate is much higher than publicized because the doctors fucking ignore the complications - especially things like the autoimmune response fucking up your testicles. And they all hang together to deny it. My GP, urologist and endo all dismiss the vasectomy as even possibly having anything to do with it. This despite the changes to my testes, and fucked up hormones. The good news…
/r/askMRP08/03/17 12:31 PM
2

As one of those "few" people who suffer from the "minor" complications of a vasectomy, I would recommend to any close friend of mine not to do it. (To get a glimpse at my cautionary tale see /r/steroids/comments/5xvgxr/high_shbg_low_free_t_what_is_going_onand_what/) I am too much a faggoty newbie to be able to state this with confidence, but I also believe that although your wife/LTR will tell you that they still see you as manly after getting snipped, I believe that I have seen evidence of sex …
/r/askMRP08/03/17 01:38 AM
1

Have not let up off my lifting (see previous comment). The Ativan is taking just enough of the fight-or-flight edge off so my mind doesn't sit and spin in little loops. I plan on tapering off once I get 2 of the final 4 big issues handled or delegated. And yeah ... that movie was bad ass.
/r/askMRP27/02/17 04:32 PM
2

On it. Lifting every other day. Yesterday near personal best squat (205lb 5/5/4/5/5).
/r/askMRP27/02/17 04:27 PM
1

I have been using 1/2 ativan up to twice a day if I detect myself sliding into that "fight or flight" feeling since I know that the next thing with be spinning thoughts that I can't pin down. This seems to allow me some focus and to "hold on" to a thought to make some disposition about it. My intent is to get off the ativan as soon as I can. I think that 3 weeks is practical. I decide to take the AD too. I will let that run a total of 5 weeks and reassess. It is likely I will try to taper off if…
/r/askMRP27/02/17 02:59 PM
1

Fixed that ... I am 6'1". Met plate through personal ad. Once we met in person, initially all gaming was in person. Resorted to beta behaviors with predictable results. I think it's over with this one. Have been no contact for 4 days now, and I presently don't plan on being the one to break the NC. Not sure I am in the right mind set yet right now to spin up another. I need to work out some other shit first. Presently, don't know how I would react were the present plate break NC and want to get …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/17 02:35 PM
1

Fair. I am determined to OMS. I will do what is required. When I fuck up, I will reevaluate and move forward. My main focus now is on facing my wants and needs head on without apology or regret.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 11:02 PM
1

Thanks. All salient points. Not sure of the difference between anxiety and panic attacks, but was having shortness of breath, racing thoughts, could not get focus, felt like I was "losing it". Tried some techniques from the interwebz and some cognitive behavioral therapy, which didn't really help. The lorazepam did help a lot yesterday - but I can see what you meant in your point #1. Woke up like I had a hangover, and limp dick. So, I will be looking at that as a last resort. I am still trying t…
/r/askMRP24/02/17 05:44 PM
1

There is a complicated story there that unfolded since Oct. Have left a lot out in the interest of brevity and anonymity. Roger that on the lifting. Focus on swoll as fuck. Got it!
/r/askMRP24/02/17 05:31 PM
1

My diet is not 100%, but my macros are pretty good. I have tried IF before and had bloods taken on it, and so no change (maybe a little worse). I think IF is a good regimen and will work over the long term, but I need my food more regularly because of some of the supplements I have been trying. I have not cut out bread/pasta but do limit them. Once I can get some of the stressors retired I am revisiting my entire health plan. Yes, the Tri activities definitely limit lifting gains, but since Jan …
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/17 03:47 PM
1

Thanks for this man. I needed to hear it.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:17 PM
1

I have established contact with a therapist that I am going to try for a bit and see if the therapeutic relationship "gels".
/r/askMRP24/02/17 02:48 PM
1

Thanks for that. I do need to be rigorous at not discounting the positives.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 02:47 PM
1

Fair.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 02:45 PM
1

Actually, in my position in the company I would have to contend with lawsuits from any clients too. Unless I reaallly ran far away... The idea of putting myself first is terrifying. I have been so Beta for soo long.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:39 AM
1

Actually, in my position in the company I would have to contend with lawsuits from any clients too. Unless I reaallly ran far away... The idea of putting myself first is terrifying. I have been so Beta for soo long.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:39 AM
2

Negative. Challenge ... DNGAF... accepted.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:37 AM
1

I did resolve the plate issue today though.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:32 AM
1

Oh ... it is definitely the stress. I feel like I am being overrun.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:31 AM
1

The hormone stuff is frustrating as FUCK. Gone to 3 doctors, and the all just tell me "Oh, you're fine". I. am. not. fucking. fine. Why won't they listen to their patients ..?
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:23 AM
1

This has given me a lot of things to think about. I am seriously considering shutting it all down. But if I do it screws 8 client companies, and 5 sub-contractors, and immediately tanks my finances. But I am still considering it ...
/r/askMRP24/02/17 03:22 AM
1

lolz ... perfect. Will take that advice. I used one this afternoon - legit panic attack. The lorazapam really helped a lot. Slowed me down a little more than I expected out of the shoot, but by hour 2 I was in a good state where I could think and be productive. Still working.
/r/askMRP24/02/17 02:42 AM
2

Thanks ... I agree, I need to deconstruct this shit. Divide and concur. At this point I tried an AA med, and I think this will help with that activity. Definitely slowed down my cognition some, but I am not obsessing. Additional context, plate has broke as of today. So I got 99 problems but a plate ain't one...
/r/askMRP24/02/17 01:47 AM
1

I was prescribed a Noradrenergic and specific serotonergic class AD. It is not supposed to impact libido or performance. I am still hedging on taking it. The AA med is Lorazepam - which for some people increases libido, and other decrease, and yet others induces anorgasmia. Were you on an SSRI class?
/r/askMRP24/02/17 01:37 AM
1

Thank you for the perspective. I have been very disciplined lifting, and into the fall last year very disciplined Triathlon training. So, my default mode is eating clean and no drugs and alcohol is restricted to a handful of family holidays. I hear you on that. The list idea is solid - started in on the Tuesday afternoon after posting my OYS. The biggest of those issues is around business, aside from my 49% partner leaving, it has left a now dysfunctional company in my lap with (initially) no em…
/r/askMRP24/02/17 01:28 AM
2

I owe her nothing. We are both adults and had our own different reasons for doing this. At one point she did seem to care (I had a health scare last year). But like you said - AWALT. We both value our families - especially with regards to our children and we both value our spouses even though we are not getting everything we need from them. We have built a certain level of trust. It is hard to find a plate like that - so that is a major obstacle. But, if this ends, I probably would not spin anot…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/17 12:59 PM
2

No.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/17 12:09 AM
2

Intro: First OYS post. I'm 49, married 23 years, 2 sons. Before marriage was always a mix of Beta/Alpha with heavy Beta tendencies. Of course went full Beta after marriage with the typical results. Red Pill aware via MMSLP for a couple of years. Spinning a plate since last spring. Relevant is that I acquired this plate by email communications initially. Despite that, I had pretty solid frame with her as well as Outcome Independence early on. That is until I caught the feelz this last fall and th…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/17 03:37 PM
2

OK, so I have been lurking for a while - this comment. This comment was like a cold ice dagger in my heart. This is soooo me, and perhaps the primary issue. Just the thought of doing the two ideas you threw out there give me sweaty hands. And I used to instruct rock/ice climbing, so I am not a stranger to stress and risk. Time to own my shit and work it. Thanks for this.
/r/askMRP06/01/17 01:34 PM
3

"Embrace the Suck"
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/16 11:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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