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skinnyfatrunnerboy Archive

View 0 posts and 93 comments by skinnyfatrunnerboy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

You're right that he doesn't get spanked or hit. I realize this is personal preference and I'm not judging people who spank their kids, but it's not something that I'm going to do to mine. I agree with the underlying premise that he needs me to provide better reinforcement. I have found over the past couple of weeks that praise helps, as does being highly consistent with consequences. But I haven't provided that in the past, so he'll need more of this approach to really get it.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/25 05:21 PM
1

You've gotten it basically correct, including my internal experience. The main difference now is not that that experience has changed, but only that I'm aware of it when it happens and can mostly pull myself back from it. For example, last night my wife started going off about the way I prepared something for our daughter. The oak frame I am trying to cultivate the last few days helped me understand that my wife was anxious and upset at herself for expressing that it was a choking hazard in the …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/25 01:12 PM
3

OYS #12 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 164.6 lbs, (+.4) BF 20.4% (+0 - bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years (33 yo), together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 117.5 lbs, (+0) (5x5) SQ: 215 lbs, (+0) (1x5) DL: 235 lbs (+0) MISSION: Be independent and physically and mentally resilient. Be self-aware and honest. Develop discipline. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I didn’t plan on lifting this week to let some injuries heal properly. They both feel pretty good, so I will be hitting the gym again this week. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/07/25 10:27 AM
1

You might be carrying yourself a little better because you feel good about the progress you’re made Agree that that is a more plausible explanation. I appreciate the solid feedback. I think you're correct in calling out the overanalysis. Overthinking has been a consistent pattern for me that I will have to work on breaking.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/25 10:23 PM
1

That ability to observe thoughts without getting caught up in them you're describing is more or less the primary benefit I'm hoping to get out of it and matches my previous meditation experience when I'm able to keep up with it consistently. It should also help me with my mission parameter of building discipline, since it's a tough thing for me to stick to. Secondary benefits in the past have been improved sleep, focus, and generally improved mood. I get good insights sometimes too, although not…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/25 01:57 AM
1

Yeah, I saw that with the childcare programs he was in. Who his teachers were had a big impact on how he ended up behaving. Kids will definitely test you in the same way as women, to your point, and it seems especially pronounced with kids like this.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/25 01:47 AM
1

That's a fair point. I'll take the mindset you mentioned away to consciously work on when I get IOIs, rather than pushing it out and using my current state as an excuse.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 03:36 PM
1

It's interesting you mention this aspect of raising kids. I'm reading The Explosive Child now and the approach seems to be based on that concept of respecting and understanding them, taking them and their problems seriously etc. They become partners in solving problems (in this case, undesirable behavior), rather than the parent assuming the kid has nothing to add and making decisions without talking to the kid about what's going on. I also agree on tell them how to think, not what to do. In hin…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 03:33 PM
1

I'll add this to my reading this week. Thank you!
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 02:59 PM
1

Interesting. I'll give that link a read and then try and parse your advice under that context. Thanks!
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 02:58 PM
1

Not sure if I should be flattered or not being the example, but I'll take it. FWIW, I can confirm the physical shit seems to be a result of attempted frame busting. She has overtly rationalized the hitting as what she feels she has to do now because her verbal bullshit doesn't phase me anymore (externally anyway) and she wants me to feel something when she acts up like this. I'm not doing a great job of comfort building at this point, but it seems to help to provide it throughout the week. The h…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 02:32 PM
0

It's a valid question and analysis. To use your example of other vices: I know a great dude who happens to be an alcoholic. His wife has alcohol in the house because at this point he's been sober a long long time and he knows he won't relapse by having it in the house anymore. Initially, as I understand it, that wouldn't have been an option for him. He had to avoid it entirely to get where he is now. I think I'm still early enough in my journey that IOIs are serving as a form of validation that …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 11:41 AM
1

RELATIONSHIPS: I initiated four times this week and had sex twice. The first time was great. Mid-session, my wife told me something specific she wanted to do. I genuinely praised her for speaking up about it, we did it, and it was good for both of us. Another aspect that made this session a good one was that the dirty talk I used was less planned out and more just things I wanted to say in the moment. One of these things was met with resistance and broke immersion a few months ago, but not this …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 10:09 AM
1

OYS #11 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 164.2 lbs, (+.6) BF 20.4% (+.2 - bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years (33 yo), together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 117.5 lbs, (+7.5) (5x5) SQ: 215 lbs, (+0) (1x5) DL: 235 lbs (+0) MISSION: Be independent and physically and mentally resilient. Be self-aware and honest. Develop discipline. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 2 times. I only did upper body since my foot still hurts quite a bit. My hip is improving, but my foot hurt again after lifting and th…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/25 10:09 AM
1

Kids benefit from direct and deliberate parenting. Very often, kids are told what not to do. They're rarely told what they should be doing or how they should be acting instead. And they're almost never told why. That tracks with the increased effectiveness of my current approach. He's responding really well to praise and I do think he's learning how to behave - slowly. I guess, to your point, I never really taught him that in the past. I also like what you've said about my own efforts to build d…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 04:00 PM
1

Interesting. That actually makes things easier. It's one less thing on my plate and allows for greater focus on myself. Thank you!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 03:55 PM
1

That makes sense. Reading it back with that context, the takeaways for me here are to have focus and clarity around ANY objective I am trying to achieve and stop caring about outcomes (like if there's going to be a blowup or not). Which is basically OI. Seems blindingly obvious - in hindsight. Thanks for helping me see that!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 03:53 PM
1

>Why does any of this bullshit matter? Fair question. Thinking on it, I'd say because I do have to maintain that relationship if I want to stay in it, (and I do at this juncture). As part of this relationship, I want good sex and I'm trying to understand the concept of my being responsible for that and practice it, even if I'm not doing that terribly well... That said, I don't think it matters as much as my relationship with my kids given where that is right now, or my self-improvement in genera…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 03:00 PM
1

I think that's very accurate. Half this journey or more for me has been building the skill of discipline. Just doing shit even when I don't want to. My kids are just another dimension of this. I'm trying to take that exact lesson from when I forced myself to get shit done around the house (easier) and apply it to this domain as well (harder). As always, thanks for being able to take my rambling here and shape your feedback into a compact and simple (and effective) takeaway for me to internalize.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 02:55 PM
1

Thanks for the advice, as always! >This happened to me consistently over time, but as I conditioned her that I wasn't going to respond to this bullshit, it eventually stopped. This is good to hear. The thing I wasn't prepared for this week (but should have been) is the escalating nature of this shit. The two that have gotten me in the past are claiming my daughter was hurt and I needed to come home (which turned out to be BS both times it happened, as I had guessed) and the hitting. The latter d…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 02:51 PM
1

RELATIONSHIP/GAME: I initiated 3 times and didn't have sex; got one handjob My son was kicked out of camp, as expected. The plan I put in place for this was immediately executed and we have childcare for him. Stepping up my parenting was my main focus this week. I started praising him for any good behavior he displayed and providing consequences for him when his behavior was bad. I began telling him beforehand what the consequence would be if he repeats a behavior and I followed through if it wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 11:07 AM
3

OYS #10 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 163.6 lbs, BF 20.2% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 110 lbs, (5x5) SQ: 215 lbs, (1x5) DL: 235 lbs MISSION: Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Be self aware and honest. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 3 times. My hip is not better and my right foot developed a persistent pain a few weeks ago that has only gotten worse. It's likely a tendon. I may have to take a week off from legs while conti…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/25 11:07 AM
1

I'll preface this by saying that I genuinely love shooting, and if I didn't, the below wouldn't matter. I shoot for me because I like it. With that said, I think it does mesh well with TRP. It's largely a male domain. It projects danger and violence to chicks, which they love, even though we both know it's an incredibly safe sport. It forces you to focus and take it seriously because for as safe as it is statistically, you're still handling a deadly weapon. It's like lifting (the iron doesn't li…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 04:00 PM
1

Exactly! I've had the same thought. Like those people that claim they can't lose weight but they're just eating too much. Kinda the opposite with me.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 02:03 PM
1

Appreciate it. I get what you're saying, and I've read that before in a few parenting books. I'll add it to my list of things to try this week. I'm highly grateful for all the tactical advice I get on here around this, both from you and others. Unfortunately, I think the deeper issue is that I'm totally out of my depth as a parent with him. He's highly intelligent and persistent, which I love, but it makes him a challenge for me. I haven't risen to that challenge in the past and am playing catch…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 12:45 AM
1

Nope, just not great at eating the amounts required to gain weight. I tend to overestimate how much I've eaten, so I'll frequently think I ate enough to gain, then step on the scale and find out I didn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/25 12:28 AM
1

Yeah, fair enough. I'll see if I can keep it more insightful next week. In general, these are starting to get more wordy so that's probably a good area to cut back on.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 07:49 PM
2

Added to my action items for the week. Definitely worth a try.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 05:53 PM
1

You've read the situation pretty well. He is always desperate for attention. With three other people in the house, he can't get it 100 percent of the time, and he'll act up as a result. He talks a lot, but he's not very expressive about his emotions. Asking him why he does things doesn't yield anything and I'm guessing he doesn't even know. I can tell he wants to behave but it is really tough for him. He has expressed that much at least. I agree it's not a big deal in isolation. The issue is tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 05:26 PM
0

Yeah, I've read those posts before specifically because my wife has anxiety and it made a lot of sense the first time I stumbled on them. Time to brush up, I think. Sometimes I can get that sex as medicine frame going, sometimes not. Yesterday I tried and got some spiel about how that's something only I like and doesn't help her etc. etc., which I chalk up to ASD. It's obviously not accurate since it goes directly against the way she's acted in the past and even said overtly this week. What they…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 03:54 PM
1

Did you learn from last week's mistake or did you nail her? I attempted to, but not strongly enough. I came in a little bit later. The kids get 30 minutes of TV time a day, and this was that time. I basically said we should go upstairs and fuck. There were groceries to pick up and I let that be an excuse from her. I should have either just gone for it anyway or made some smartass comment about quickies or something. You don't sound you are fucking properly yet. This is accurate. Still too much t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 03:31 PM
2

RELATIONSHIP/GAME: I initiated 4 times and had sex once, plus a handjob. This week I decided to ramp up the sexual stuff to build OI. I have an old surplus flecktarn jacket I use as a raincoat. I used it to do something sexual before I headed to the hardware store one night. I knew it was dumb and assumed I'd get blown out, but that was part of the exercise. I walked up to my wife and said very seriously "excuse me, ma'am, I'm with the German tit patrol. I need to see your tits." Eye contact. Ho…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 10:53 AM
2

OYS #9 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 164.8 lbs, BF 20.6% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 107.5 lbs, (5x5) SQ: 207.5lbs, (1x5) DL: 230 lbs MISSION: Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Be self aware and honest. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 2 times. I set up MFP and it is helpful to have an objective idea of how much I'm eating and my macros. I'm trying to eat 1.5-2x more than I normally would at least one meal a day and general…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/25 10:52 AM
1

Ofc, blame adhd, betch. That's the most common lame excuse all nurseries and parents are using nowadays for not to take care of their kids. Yeah I came to similar conclusion. Check out my reply to wmp for context but basically, even if the ADHD determines HOW he reacts to things, it isn't an explanation for WHY he acts a certain way. It's on me as his father to not only help him understand the why, but also create an environment for him where that behavior is properly handled and a good example …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/25 03:47 PM
1

This is a good read. I think it was after my fourth OYS where I started to sort of understand the killing your ego thing. I'm still firmly in the dismantling stage but for years (since May 2022) I spun my wheels on this shit because I fundamentally did not get the concept of having to break down the ego with brutal honesty before you can rebuild yourself effectively. I don't pretend to fully understand all of this concept now, but it's like there's a path to follow I didn't realize existed befor…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/25 03:18 PM
1

Chicks dig muscles more than any wife will ever admit. My wife is exactly like this. She claims to hate guys with muscles but gets giddy when carpenters, firefighters, or Olympic swimmers are on TV. She has said she misses my previous "slender" (ouch) body but touches my arms and shoulders all the time now and comments on how big they are (they aren't). I have to think this disconnect is some kind of shit testing behavior ingrained deeply in their psyche to see if we're going to keep getting str…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/25 01:26 AM
1

Analysis is spot on. I've bulked and cut more conservatively before and it accomplished very little. All in the belly is also spot on. I look fairly fit with a decently fitted t-shirt on but if it comes off it's not pretty.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 06:41 PM
2

It was disgusting but interesting. I feel like I want to die right now so maybe my thoughts aren't complete but I learned that I can put my goals above my fear and discomfort. I learned how to transfer this mindset from domains I already know. (It's actually funny how much the mental experience per slice compared to the experience per mile back when I was a runner. 1-3 felt great, 4 hit hard, 5 was second wind slice, the rest were just misery and guts.) I learned what mission focus looks like wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 06:32 PM
1

Thank you! This is all pretty solid. I think I kind of know a lot of this stuff but its head knowledge, and it's not integrated into my thoughts and actions yet. The biggest thing that resonates for me from this is putting action over perfection. I know it's the fuck ups that teach the most anyway.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 06:26 PM
2

u/HornsOfApathy the deed is done
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 06:24 PM
2

A better answer would have just been "no". But, here we are. Point taken. My STFU and frame need work. Alright, I guess I got myself into this. I'll eat the damn pizza before my next OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 04:04 PM
1

That makes sense and is easy to implement. Thanks! Are you going to get the pizza, or not? Damn, I knew that wasn't going to just slip by... I'll be honest: I'm not gonna do that today. I will do it in early August when my wife is on a business trip so I don't have to put up with the inevitable shit testing and can watch violent television to distract myself from the self-hatred. Yes, this makes me a double pussy, but I'm still gonna do it that way.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 03:07 PM
1

Thanks, that's a great point. I have a habit with myself of not going deep with my own shit and you've now made me realize I do it with my son too. He has ADHD, but that's not a real *reason.* Maybe it drives *how* he reacts to things, but it doesn't explain *why* or *what* he's feeling or thinking. I think I've been using that as an excuse. I'll make a point to check in with him more often this week and try and dig into what makes him do shit like this.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 02:50 PM
1

Appreciate the detailed weight gain advice. I can relate to the misery aspect you're describing with overeating. I don't tear up but there is that distinct despair feeling. I'd rather run 10 miles at an 8-pace or fail out under a max squat then take one more fucking bite when I'm already full. I've used MFP in the past to gain weight, but I was single and lived alone and could (and did) autistically make spreadsheets of my most common meals, the macros, and the calories per serving. I don't know…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 02:47 PM
2

RELATIONSHIP/GAME: I initiated 4 times and had sex once. I struggled this week. I missed one opportunity where my wife was horny but we couldn't do anything at the time because our son was in the room (we were on his bed while he was playing). Later, before bed she said "I guess no one wanted to have sex with me tonight" in a pouty way. I tried to initiate a little bit later but got "It's late, I'm tired," etc. Pushing through didn't change anything. Should have gone for it as soon as we had the…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 11:18 AM
5

OYS #8 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 163.0 lbs, BF 20.1% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 105 lbs, (5x5) SQ: 225lbs, (1x5) DL: 225 lbs MISSION: WIP. Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Be self aware and honest. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 3 times. Hitting 2 plates on the squat and deadlift felt good. Weight gain is hard. I strongly dislike eating the amount required to gain weight, but I've just been viewing it as part of wha…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/25 11:18 AM
1

>Use standard grip, then hooks when your grip gives out. I have read that using equipment will limit my grip strength/forearms. I'll look into it. I don't want to fuck up my biceps but I do want good grip strength. Mine has always sucked. >Act like you’re going to have sex according to who? Notice the potential for dancing monkey &. CC here. I think I see what you mean. It could be more OI to just initiate and not give a fuck about the outcome rather than weirdly assume the sale and get invested…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 01:49 PM
1

Validation and her lack of enthusiasm respectively. These are clearly related to one another. She wasn't unenthusiastic but I've seen her very enthusiastic and I enjoy that more. That said, the goal state for me shouldn't depend on her at all. I want to get to a place of I want to have sex, so I'll initiate, and once it happens I'll judge the quality by how it was for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/25 01:29 PM
2

No, the consensus last week was that you needed to fuck the bitch out of your wife. That's a different mindset than "fuck her good" Thanks for clarifying! My initial assumption was that fucking her good would make her less bitchy. I see from your points above this is not what was meant and that doing so is operating in her frame. As you noted, it's not for her benefit. What would have been so bad about responding, "That's fine. But I'm still going to need to fuck the bitch out of you." Nothing w…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/25 05:45 PM
1

I think this was mostly head, not dick, so to speak. Another issue I frequently have is that even initiations starting from dick mode get into head mode if things don't go the way I'd imagined them (covert contract). This is entirely a me problem and it's a long running one I have to work on.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/25 05:36 PM
2

OYS #7 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 162.2 lbs, BF 20.1% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 102.5 lbs, (5x5) SQ: 220lbs, (1x5) DL: 215 lbs MISSION: WIP. Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Be self aware and honest. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 3 times. Squats and deadlifts are starting to become pretty difficult. Lots of room in the other 3 SL lifts still. I've started squatting barefoot and switched to a mixed grip on the DL. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/25 01:48 PM
1

Idk, man. I am definitely not going to get physical with her. One, she can't really hurt me and two that seems like a big frame loss. That's without even considering the optics in a SHTF situation. I object to her hitting me on principle, not because it concerns me physically.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/25 11:14 AM
1

Sounds like it. I'll make it happen this week, or at least make a solid attempt.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 04:54 PM
1

>What would you advise someone you actually cared about to do if they were getting hit and having their stuff destroyed? Would it be a 5 minute break time or something more? Interesting question. Probably something more. I'll take that away to see if I want to implement something more proportional. >So what is your timeline you laid out? What happens if she doesn’t follow through? 30 days. At the time I said I wasn't going to be in the relationship otherwise, but realistically couldn't back that…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 04:52 PM
1

That's easy enough. I think I get what you mean. I'll try to pay attention with that in mind this week and see what happens.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 01:55 PM
1

indeed, what would your natural response look like if rejection is no option? That's a good way of thinking about it. It sounds more like what I'd have done earlier in the relationship because back then it usually wasn't. are you aroused by your wife in general? Yeah. She's not a model or anything but she's taken care of herself even after two kids. Generally good looking traditional blonde chick. She's a good girl in public but can be really nasty and slutty (in a good way) with me under the ri…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 01:33 PM
1

Your wife very much wants you to come over top with dominance and fuck the brat out of her. Probably. I lack the frame to do this congruently right now. This might be a fake it til you make it situation I need to create. I would take things one step further and lay out that physical violence (hitting) and destruction of your property will not happen again and have a plan in place in case it does. I pared the incident down for OYS but I did say that if it happened again I was going to take myself…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 01:19 PM
1

I've thought about this and the best conclusion I've come to is a mix of overthinking and fear around rejection. What goes through my mind when this happens is stuff like "is this an initiation or is she just being weird? Is this beta bait? What if I make a move and I misread things?" What I should be thinking is probably more like "sweet. Titties," and doing whatever comes naturally.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 01:00 PM
1

OYS #6 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 161.8 lbs, BF 19.8% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 97.5 lbs, (5x5) SQ: 200 lbs, (1x5) DL: 210 lbs MISSION: WIP. Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Be self aware and honest. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 2 times. I didn't gain as much as I wanted this week. In the past, I've eaten nuts to gain weight. I will add snack breaks to my day to have a few handfuls of almonds. I am also getting sl…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/25 10:54 AM
1

Yeah, won't be jumping straight to meds for sure. One, because drugs are something I personally consider a last resort and two, because, as is clear at this point, he hasn't been parented properly and I'm pretty sure changing that would help a lot. I'd consider it if he was literally unable to function in society but I don't think that's going to be the case in the long run if I can get my shit together. Glad to talk to someone else who has a kid with this. I know what you mean about the drive. …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/25 11:15 AM
1

You should also be reinforcing and making sure that you notice when they are well behaved. So if they're doing something well, call that out too. Good advice. I do this - but not often enough. The carrot to stick ratio sucks. I know I've said it elsewhere already, but thanks. I'm going to review all this stuff and consolidate it into action items for this week. It's clear this is a major red area for me and is going to need to be a priority.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/25 12:33 AM
1

I think I get what you're saying. I'm hoping the deliberate introspection practice will help with the ego shedding in general. It's clear it will take effort from me.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/25 12:30 AM
1

why not? says who? Because it hurts people. Me. why? why should he be punished? and what is appropriate? As a technique to extinguish the behavior. Time out or loss of privileges. Thanks for making me think that out. Ah yes - nothing like trying to emotionally manipulate and guilt trip a fucking 5 year old you stupid fucking cunt. Yeah.... You know, I knew I was a piece of shit parent already but this OYS is making me realize just how much. It's uncomfortable but I truly appreciate it because it…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/25 12:21 AM
1

Well yeah, the kid is copying what he sees from me. No doubt and I'll own that. I'm definitely on my phone with him at times. Not 100 percent, but too much. You're on point here as usual. I know these things. I just have to make an effort to ACT on them for once instead of being a shithead. I like how you want to be acting in the future, just start to do like that. You will fuck up, but you will reach. Thanks for this. It's encouraging.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/25 12:07 AM
1

Good advice. I especially like the idea of leaving the phone somewhere else. I've done this in the past (more for myself than for the kids) and it's nice not being able to check it out of boredom/compulsion.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/25 10:54 PM
1

Oh, I am definitely the problem. I'm the adult, after all. Maybe that would have read better as "I tend to escalate things by engaging further than necessary or being drawn into a debate" but it shouldn't be read as me trying to blame the kid. Like you said, he's 5.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/25 05:29 PM
1

That's awesome that you never yell at your kids. That's the goal state for me. To clarify I don't mean ignore the kid himself as a punishment. I mean ignore behaviors that can be let go or in the case of behaviors that can't, only engage to the extent needed to resolve and not get emotionally drawn in. I understand how it came across, though. I've read How to Talk So Kids will Listen and that seems somewhat effective but I suck at consistently implementing that stuff. Always open to any suggesti…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/25 05:24 PM
1

I can understand how that came across. I don't mean literally ignore every bad behavior. Obviously if it needs to be corrected, I step in. What I am trying not to do now is more along the lines of if he is seeking attention in an inappropriate way, I am not going to engage further than necessary or be drawn into a debate with him. That tends to escalate things. Example: he asks me something I've already answered a few times. I tell him I've answered already and won't answer again. From then on I…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/25 05:12 PM
1

Good questions. The behaviors that concern me most are loud yelling, generally being defiant when asked to do things, and, most importantly, hitting or shoving his sibling. He's got diagnosed ADHD and is too young to be medicated, so his impulse control sucks. My reactions aren't consistent, which, of course, is part of the issue. But the reactions I give that I don't like are basically either yelling or saying mean things to him (i.e. "you don't care about your sister at all, do you?") I'd like…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/25 04:55 PM
1

OYS #5 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 161.4 lbs, BF 19.7% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 95 lbs, SQ: 190 lbs, (1x5) DL: 205 lbs MISSION: WIP. Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Be self aware and honest. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I lifted 4 times and ran 3.3 miles. I feel good physically when I lift and look forward to my gym sessions. I'm continuing to gain weight intentionally, but too quickly (1.5 lbs/week average). I am going t…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/25 02:13 PM
1

Yeah... I've lurked a lot previously and I know this is bad form. Writing it out like this, it does show how much I'm not in my own frame. Something for me to consider.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 03:20 PM
1

I don't disagree with anything you've said. Good to know some of the self reflection in my OYS was accurate, if not all of it. Thanks for the feedback. I get a kick out of your delivery every time. Keep kicking my ass!
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 02:54 PM
1

Thanks! This is really good advice and actionable. I'll give it a try next time.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 02:52 PM
1

Damn, this is a great observation. Thanks! STFU remains my biggest challenge. As you can see, sometimes I don't even realize when I've violated the principle of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 12:10 PM
1

I would 100 percent agree there's a big element of LARPing still. I guess what I was trying to (poorly) articulate is that my mental state around rejection is improved compared to when I started OYS. If I read you right, though, you're saying that perception is likely not actually true and is a defense mechanism I need to work through. This is valuable. Thank you! Accept it instead of fucking the dry pussy Agree with this. Even if I have trouble accepting it internally, I'll at least take the co…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 11:51 AM
1

Anytime. Care to elaborate? I'd love to extract some value here.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 11:32 AM
2

OYS #4 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 160.0 lbs, BF 19.3% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (5x5) BP: 90 lbs, SQ: 170 lbs, (1x5) DL: 200 lbs MISSION: Still WIP. Be independant and physically and mentally resilient. Read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: I was on vacation this week in a rural area with no access to a rack or bar. I was between programs, so I took the opportunity to rest. I was still fairly active. I kayaked, biked, and played tennis. Once home, I started Stro…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/25 08:55 AM
1

Long story short: You should feel no different the next day after you had sex. If you allow it to control you, and how you feel about yourself and what you do, then it will do just that This speaks to me. What I especially like about this is it ties into the independence piece of my mission draft. This too shall pass, hopefully, as it should in time, and be replaced with yourself. You're learning here how to be accountable to yourself. Definitely the desired end state. I'd suggest not letting it…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/25 11:32 AM
2

What every skinny guy should know has held true 100% in my personal experience. I'll add that for my reading this week. The moment you start to measure your progress with her sexual desire or sluttiness will be the moment she shit tests harder with things you haven't seen before. This is exactly it. I get into a cycle of focusing on something other than using sex as the yardstick, then the sex gets better as a side effect, then I get too focused on using sex as a yardstick, then the sex gets wor…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/25 07:07 PM
1

You talk too much, betch. Clearly overthinking everything. Yep. Thanks for the advice. I enjoy the feedback and the style in which it's been delivered.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/25 06:15 PM
2

OYS #3 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5',8", 157.0 lbs, BF 18.6% (bioimpedance scale) Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (3x5s) BP: 107.5 lbs (+2.5), SQ: 200 lbs (+5), (1x5) DL: 200 lbs (+5) MISSION: Still WIP. In addition to independence, I also want to toughen up. I can be tough in controlled environments, such as long distance running, or at work when dealing with people, but I want to be able to be tough no matter what's thrown at me. Right now, my mission is to read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/25 11:21 AM
1

I did dancing monkey for almost 3 years. Like you, I'm doing an MRP reset and the rate of internal gains from only two OYS posts has been noticably faster compared to going it alone. The feedback I've been getting from the guys here is incredibly valuable. I don't know how much I can add to your specific situation given where I am right now, but given you're in a pretty similar spot (long term dancing monkey finally posting OYS), I would *highly* recommend you keep doing OYS posts. It's like hav…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/25 04:51 PM
2

I could see that. The parallels make sense. Kinda where the oldest child in the room analogy comes from. Same thing just in reverse. Change your perspective > change your reaction > change your world. That's well said.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 11:31 PM
1

I like the simplicity of this making it theoretically easy to execute in the moment. Adding as one of my objectives to try this out this week. Thank you!
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 07:11 PM
2

punishment should be predictable and explainable. punishment shouldn't be used as a form of coercion. That makes sense. I know it intellectually and it's not like it even increases compliance anyway (probably the opposite). It's more of an emotional regulation skill in the moment. I'm hoping my STFU practice with my wife will spill over to this area with time and practice. If not I'm going to have to figure out how to address it by some other means.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 06:13 PM
1

I hamster it in my head while I'm yelling at them that it's to make them better - but it's actually just anger and venting. Once I calm down, that's painfully obvious. You're correct in that it's not helpful and probably making things worse. So this is 100 percent an emotional control issue I need to solve. Ideally I'd parent with a firm hand but not an angry one. Key difference. The values and viewpoints thing is a great point although at their age it's more little kid and toddler shit. With th…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 03:55 PM
2

Good advice on the cardio. No argument there. I'll cut the miles this week. The identity part will take longer butI'll work towards it. Your problem is being more consistent with yourself. Your frame says everything here you need to know. You dont bring it out of her. You bring it out of yourself. I like this. It gives me responsibility which means it's something I have control over.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 12:42 PM
1

She definitely is. I've seen that side twice: at the beginning of our relationship and post-RP after I started implementing SGM shit. My problem is bringing it out consistently. You're completely correct in that I get in my own head and I suspect this is where the consistency problems arise. I suspect I'm going to find a lot of sexual CCs when I re-start NMMNG this week... Kids definitely don't sleep in our bed. I've heard horror stories from other parents about that so we're strict on them slee…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 12:02 PM
3

OYS #2 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5', 8", 156 lbs, BF 18% bioimpedance scale Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (3x5s) Bench: 105 lbs (+10), SQ: 195 lbs (+20), DL: 195 lbs (+20) MISSION: Still very much TBD but one insight this week was that independence is going to be a theme in some way. I don't want to have to do things because someone else wants me to. That's all I've got so far. Until I fully flesh out my personal mission, I'm considering my mission to be read, lift, STFU. PHYSICAL: …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/25 11:14 AM
1

Thanks for the advice. I do have a history of ramping up too fast and getting injured in my running and don't want to make the same mistake lifting. I'll add reading up on progression and looking into getting some 2 inch fractional plates to my list for this week.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/25 10:38 PM
2

With as skinny as you are, and your ego attachment to being a runner, you'd be good to read my entire OYS year post. Added to my reading list. You say you want more consistent sex. That happens when you're more consistent with being a man worth a shit. That's a really good way of putting it. So the takeaway for me might be to shift focus more on being consistently worth a shit with the sex gains being a nice side effect, not the primary end goal. And of course to do that, I have to put the work …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/25 03:16 PM
2

OYS #1 BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5', 8", 154 lbs, BF 18% bioimpedance scale Married 7 years, together 9 years, two kids (5, 3) (3x5s) Bench: 95, SQ: 175, DL: 175 RP since June 2022; career beta raised by a feminine father and overbearing mother. I was very beta in how I approached dating in high school and as a result, my first date, kiss, and fuck were all in college. Looking back, basically any success I had was the result of accidental alpha behaviors; I was pretty beta but also kind of a dick, which…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/25 02:13 PM
2

OYS #1BACKGROUND 35 yo, 5', 8", 155 lbs, BF 18% bioimpedance scale Married 7 years, together 9 years, two little kids (5, 3) (3x5s) Bench: 95, SQ: 175, DL: 175 RP since June 2022; long story short: career beta raised by a feminine father and overbearing mother; internalized the Disney love story trope, stumbled my way into a few successful relationships by being accidentally alpha due to my lack of a verbal filter and asshole nature, eventually got married, got complacent, sex dropped off, espec…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/25 04:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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