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sleep-state Archive

View 0 posts and 52 comments by sleep-state on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

It's all in the side bar. Frame, MPO, building self-worth without external validation, abundance... all of that is pretty much the opposite of what is going on with anxious attachment. how do you maintain that secure state The work never ends.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/23 06:59 PM
13

You try things, you experience resistance, you get scared and retreat until you gain the courage to try again. That's your pattern. She's always going to push back. Will you always give up and run away?
/r/askMRP31/05/23 08:07 PM
3

My opinion is that you should spend less time in her head and more time living your life. If you have an existential crisis every time your wife asks a favor, you have a problem. And that problem has nothing to do with her. Her: Can you take out the trash? You: WHAT DOES IT MEEEEAAAN!?!? Do you see how retarded that is?
/r/askMRP26/05/23 05:47 PM
5

If you don't want to do something, it's okay to just not do it. There is nothing wrong with that. It's also okay for people to be upset about that. It's normal. There's nothing wrong with people being upset. NMMNG and WISNIFG.
/r/askMRP25/05/23 04:16 PM
2

if you take emotional intimacy out of the equation My point isn't that you can have a connection without emotional intimacy, it's that you have no idea what those two things are. You aren't actually posting about a lack of emotional intimacy, your complaint is that the women in your life never ask you to talk about yourself. You're sitting back waiting for them to focus on you, and when they don't, you pout and come here to talk shit about them. That isn't emotional intimacy, that's validation a…
/r/askMRP04/05/23 04:25 AM
4

but I feel more distant on an emotional and human level and disappointed in them, as its a one-sided relationship and their clear lack of care into reciprocating a genuine human exchange emotionally I think there are two things going on here. You are confusing their venting for an attempt to connect with you. They are not trying to connect with you, they are using you as a sounding board. It's just what women do. It's self-centered because it has to be. They need to constantly let that stuff out…
/r/askMRP03/05/23 09:49 PM
2

What helps me here is remembering that my kids want to be respectful. They just forget sometimes. It's not personal. They're still learning and you can help them remember. he catches himself, apologizes You can see from your sons actions here that he feels the same way. He caught and corrected himself on his own. That was all him and it shows where his heart is. Framing it this way takes all of the anger out of it. Instead of a "you vs them" thing, it's both of you working together as a team. Yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 09:08 PM
2

OYS14 Current material: practical female psychology, Rian's NMMNG youtube series Lifts (5x3+): BP 195, DL 325, FSQ 215, Z-Press 105 Good: Structure/schedule This has helped me to stay on track knowing exactly what I should be doing at a certain time. Planning out my week or planning out how I am going to accomplish a certain task really gives me direction. It's like I build the machine I use to complete the job. It's crazy that I didn't learn about this kind of organizational stuff until I was a…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/23 07:29 PM
1

Both going well! Nothing of note to report.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/23 02:31 AM
1

It's pretty much just a combination of high level goals that align with my mission, habits that will help me achieve those goals, and purposeful allocation/scheduling of my time. I decided to pick a mission based on feedback I got on my last OYS from you (just pick something) and u/man_in_the_world (choose a compelling mission and build your frame around it), then I made a plan based on that mission.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/23 02:24 AM
1

Thanks, I'll keep an eye out for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 04:39 PM
1

Good idea.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 04:38 PM
2

Fair enough! Thanks for sharing your perspective.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 04:36 PM
1

So you've spent the week thinking and planning what you're going to do instead of actually doing anything? No, I just highlighted the new thing that I've tried, which is adding plans and structure to my life. Like I said, I've been winging it my whole life and that hasn't been working out well for me. Last week you didn't sound very busy. Probably a misunderstanding. Thanks for the encouragement.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 04:30 PM
1

OYS13 For the last few months, I've been having this feeling like I was just a supporting character or passenger along for a ride. Last week I realized this was due to lacking any sort of mission or structure to my life. I've always lived like this, only now am I seeing it. I spent the last week coming up with a mission. I have a rough plan for pursuing this based on my current knowledge. There are a lot of holes, but I'm just going to go with what I have and keep iterating. Refinement and growt…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 06:39 AM
1

Hope at least some of this made sense. Yeah, it makes sense. I have what I think is basically the same view on things. We are all part of the same fabric, connected. And because of that there isn't really a right/wrong. There is no "self", at least not in the way we usually think of it. Curious about the hole you mentioned though... what is it? The only thing I've come up with myself is God or some other outside authority who decides what is right and wrong.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/23 02:54 AM
2

What does it do for you?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 10:32 PM
1

In that sense, like I said above, once you accept a mindset OF the loop rather than IN it, the mind shifts to riding the wave of experience rather than trying to get ahead of it, or catch up from behind. Can you give an example of what you mean here? From what I'm understanding here, you're saying something like: Everything is a feedback loop. We act, get feedback, adjust and move forward. Instead of trying to jump all the way to the finish line (trying to get ahead of the loop), we can accept t…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/23 05:10 PM
1

OYS12 Health I did my first 48hr fast this week. Went well, easier than expected. I lost 3lbs over those two days, but that is probably mostly water weight. I am curious to see how weight trends after a month or two. I had to drop weight on my lifts over the last couple weeks. I've lost a bit of strength from the cut, so I had to adjust. Things are in a good spot now and I am progressing from there. I am excited to see how things will change once I get to 10-12% body fat. For the last few years …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/23 01:13 PM
1

OYS11 Weight: No change. I may be at the point where I need to increase my deficit. I am looking into adding a 48hr fast once a week on my 2-day rest period. Will either start this week or next. Job Spent the last couple of weeks setting up a system for finding a job and grinding out applications. I have two interviews lined up now. I planned to work on adding new skills during the evenings, but I've been too tired to do work on that. I've finished transitioning over to my new side job and a new…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/23 06:14 AM
10

OYS10 Weight: Down 15. Half way to goal. Job I got laid off on Friday. It took a couple of days to really sink in. I was afraid of this, but didn't really think it would happen. Luckily I had already started looking for work before I found out, so I've already got the ball rolling. I also have a temporary side job lined up to have some income. My wife started being a bitch to me almost immediately after telling her. At first I wanted to get upset about it. "Why is she kicking me when I'm down?".…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/23 08:45 AM
1

OYS9 Weight: Down 14lbs since start. Almost half way to 30lb goal. I've been making my way through Practical Female Psychology and it's been pretty eye opening. Before I'd always struggle understanding why my wife acts the way she does. Why can she be so rude to me sometimes, or why does she kick me when I'm down. I used to think that she was just a horrible person. Then I found this place and I thought it was because she just didn't give a fuck about me because she wasn't into me. Which still f…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/23 06:04 PM
2

I recognized the opportunity to take the lead and let her follow It seems more like you saw an opportunity where you thought you could prove to your gf that you're a man. I think this is why you feel so low. You weren't just trying to solve problems, like a confident man would. You were trying to put on a show for her. You wanted validation. You wanted to her to see you as a leader. This was a way for you prove your value to her, so that then you could feel valued. So when you failed, it wasn't …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/23 04:25 AM
1

yeah insult me, you are surely right ,but I still prefer to train this way This part is the ego.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 10:50 PM
1

How did you achieve this state of elevated, superior frame? Share so we can all benefit from the process of swapping notes. I have more detail on the specific things I'm doing to build my frame in my last OYS. You can take a look if you're curious.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 09:26 PM
1

OYS8 Physical No change in weight last week. I've increased the deficit for this week by another 200 cals/day. Anger I am just coming out of an anger/depressive phase. I think they come about once a month. I read the Validation needs that can poison your sex life post by u/man_in_the_world, and I can see that a lot of the validation I struggle with is Attraction validation. u/SteelSharpensSteel made a comment on that post saying that so many guys need someone to tell them that they're a man. I'd…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/23 07:38 AM
1

Because I have a lot going on. I forget a lot of things all the time unless I make a conscious effort to keep track of them. Seems like you think something else is going on though?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/23 04:25 AM
1

If you have to track the time you're spending with them, it's like a chore to you. If you don't want to be with your kids, just don't be with your kids. Man, that's an intense take lol. I want to track it because it's something I forget to do, and something that I want to make sure that I do regularly... not because it's a chore. What is it that you guys have against tracking?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/23 12:22 AM
2

Not everything needs to be tracked True. But if it's something that you tend to let slide, tracking is beneficial. Tracking itself isn't retarded. But I am retarded so I must track. What difference does 10-15 mins make You'd be surprised at the difference. For everyone involved. Find fun things you enjoy and take the kids along Right, yeah. Take them out every once in a while to do fun shit. That's the easy part. The hard part is making sure that you connect/check in with them every day or at le…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 05:31 PM
0

Tracking the time you spent with your kids is fucking retarded How so?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 04:35 PM
1

OYS7 40s, 29%bf navy, 184lb (down from 196lb) FSQ: 225x3, OHP: 135x2, BP: 225x1, DL: 345x3 Frame I am in her frame. I feel like a supporting character. These are some of the things I've been doing to get back into my own frame: • If I find myself thinking about her or what she does, what she did, or what she thinks of me, I'll break out of that thought loop by focusing on my surroundings and trying to be in the present. • If I find myself thinking about not doing something because it might make …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/01/23 08:08 AM
1

Me: I keep thinking about your perfect _____ and how good it feels to __. Also, I really like how you are __ more...sexy AF. Her: Great Me: Lmao. You've got to give me more to work with than that! Her: I did really enjoy last night and looking forward to it again. Me: We'll have to work on your text / sext game. [wink emoji] You: Please talk sexy to me??? Her: Ugh. You: Lmao come on, please? Her: Ugh... fine. You: Lol, nm, maybe next time ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/23 04:31 AM
1

Thanks. Will look into that.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/23 04:42 AM
1

Thanks for the response. I agree with all of this. STFU is massively repeated ... for reason and this is why It was actually very useful to experience it first hand. It was eye opening to see how useless it is as a method of changing her behavior. However, articulating things out loud like that did help me to crystallize some ideas that I had. Overall I think it was a net gain as this was the first time, but I can see how doing this regularly would eventually be damaging.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/23 07:48 PM
1

OYS6 40s, 29%bf navy FSQ: 225x3, OHP: 135x2, BP: 225x1, DL: 345x3 Read: WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rational Male, MMSLP, MAP, SGM Reading: WOTSM Had some feedback last week regarding intrinsic value vs supplication. I had been struggling with the idea of doing things to provide value, especially for someone who doesn't seem to respect or value me. I had it wrong. I'm not supposed to be doing things for others to provide value. The value I provide should come simply from existing. And the way I get there is…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/23 09:05 PM
0

You seem to think this is pretty serious. But I can't tell what you're trying to say. Bullshit! You can't be this stupid I'm not sure if you're trying to say that I'm lying about why I'm leaving stats out, or if you're saying I'm "stupid" for leaving stats out. Why does it matter? You want to see how fat I am? Look at my body fat percentage. Want to see if I lift? Look at my lifts.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/12/22 03:38 AM
-3

Appreciate your breakdown. Most of what you said is on point. Especially the bit regarding choreplay. It's kind of disturbing to look at it that way. But I guess it's natural for people to try to get the most out of their situation. The lack of stats is just opsec. I'm paranoid. Im fine with it. I'll be holding myself accountable for fatness. The bit about "conversations" is also helpful. I didn't realize that I was trying to negotiate.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/22 08:00 PM
0

Yeah I guess not. I am still paying too much attention and giving too much value to what she says. The hamstering isn't really facts or something permanent. I should disregard it and focus on actions and results. Also, after thinking about this a bit...I see now that what I did there was initiate a conversation directly with her hamster. Why did I do that?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/22 07:42 PM
4

OYS5 40s, 25%bf FSQ: 215x4, OHP: 135x2, BP: 225x1, DL: 345x3 Read: WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rational Male, MMSLP, MAP, SGM Reading: WOTSM Relationship I pretty much ignored my wife last week. This week I decided to experiment with the amount of comfort/attention. Turns out that the more attention I provide, the more annoyance/hostility I'm met with. It's like I'm just giving myself more opportunities to get shit on. It really feels not worth it. But I know I should constantly be gaming her and everyone. …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/22 03:54 PM
1

Funny vid. I'm not hard, I'm just scared of being dependent on it and the other possible downsides.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/22 08:17 PM
3

just don't stay in a bad position because you're harboring some kind of judgement about people who are on TRT. Whoa there! I'm not judging people who are on TRT, never said anything like that. When I said I don't like the idea of TRT... what I meant is that I don't like the idea of being dependent on medication, multiple weekly injections, constant monitoring of blood levels and dealing with whatever side effects I end up with. But if this is a thing for me now... and it ends up getting worse an…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/22 07:29 PM
1

The point is that I think this is either a very recent thing or that I just have a lower baseline. I think this due to the fact that I've been gaining muscle mass over the last two years instead of losing it. Either way, I'd have to get it checked out to figure out what's actually going on. This is just one test and I'm not a doctor.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/12/22 06:34 PM
-2

What are you doing to get less fat? Tracking food. 500cal deficit. Avoiding slips in diet by repeating "what matters is what I do right now" over and over in my head whenever I think about eating a bunch of shit. Why do you not post your body weight? I don't want to. I'm tracking it elsewhere.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/22 05:35 PM
1

OYS4 40s, 25%bf FSQ: 215x4, OHP: 135x2, BP: 215x2, DL: 325x5 Read: WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rational Male, MMSLP, MAP, SGM Reading: WOTSM Relationship Problem: Feels like I waste a lot of my time on it. What I did: Made a rough schedule of what I need to get done during the day, including work, lifting, a full eight hours of sleep, kid stuff, an hour for reflection/planning. Turns out my schedule is actually packed if I'm strict about it and I don't really have any downtime or time for my wife. I would h…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/22 03:37 AM
1

you need to write about what you did Yeah that makes sense. Why would you assume this when you're fucking and not able to finish? Now it's her fault? Wasn't talking about sex here. What I'm saying is I think the relationship feels cold and awkward because she acts like she doesn't like me. And she acts like she doesn't like me because... she doesn't like me. It's not anyone's fault. Neither of us can control what she's into. I can become more attractive, but that doesn't guarantee anything.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 10:17 PM
1

What do you do instead of deloading at a plateau? Keep attempting it and work on accessories?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 05:07 PM
1

OYS3 40s, 25%bf FSQ: 215x4, OHP: 135x2, BP: 205x4, DL: 325x5 Read: WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rational Male, MMSLP, MAP, SGM Reading: WOTSM Becoming attractive = getting your shit together Sex Had sex three times this week. Went soft during one session and couldn't get it back up. It was a downer for me, so I reflected on it. This never used to happen to me. Obviously I'm getting older and that can cause it. But I also went into the sex not really horny, I really wanted it for some reason though. What I ca…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/22 04:23 PM
1

How long have you been with your wife? Do you like her? Why stay? 10+ years. I like her enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. I want to keep my family together. Is she on her phone because she is boring, or because you are boring? It's kind of obvious right? She isn't on her phone because she's boring. She chooses the phone over me because it is more interesting to her than I am. I am boring, to her. But also that behavior (someone sitting on their phone not interacting) is boring to me. …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/22 10:45 PM
1

I didn't rage at her, this was internal. My outward response was basically, "Oh gee! Gosh darn kids! You're such a slut..." etc But yeah, raging at her would have not helped me. I agree.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 05:21 PM
1

The point was that I was angry about her saying, "I want to fuck you, but we don't because of the kids" instead of saying "It's because I'm not attracted to you". I was upset about her not being honest about it. Couple of things here: That's just how women communicate. She's telling me she's not attracted to me by not fucking me. That's what I get for expecting the things she says to line up with her actions. What I see here is that I'm just getting mad at her for being a woman.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 04:21 PM
1

OYS 2 Mid 40s, 25%bf FSQ: 215x4, OHP: 135x2, BP: 205x4, DL: 325x5 Read: WISNIFG, NMMNG, Rational Male, MMSLP, MAP, SGM Reading: WOTSM The day after I posted my first OYS, I started to worry about her reading it. I guess that means I'm afraid of losing what I have right now. I also know how unattractive all this is. I guess it means I'm still in her head. Physical Diet is going well. I figured out something that prevents me from cheating. Whenever I'd mess up my diet in the past, I'd tell myself …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/22 08:29 AM
0

OYS 1 I caught my wife stalking an ex from a fake social media account. She also had dug up his phone number around the same time she had an out of town conference, and was possibly planning to contact him. When I found out, instead of thinking, "This is extremely low quality and not for me"... my first thought was, "Wow, I'm really not enough for her". She did something I didn't like and then I felt bad about myself because of it. It's such a twisted way to think. Ever since then, I've turned i…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/22 09:16 AM
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