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View 2 posts and 154 comments by sludgepress on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Absolutely
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 03:11 PM
3

Again man, I get what you’re saying. And you are right. Absolutely. But in the current state of family court, making the soon to be ex more angry and vindictive than she might already be just makes things harder on the man in the end…….. Believe me, I’m on your side, but I’ve also been through family court……. And “not falling on your sword” and “being a noble and strong man” gets you F**KED. That judge cares very little about your “manliness” ya know?
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 03:07 PM
3

Men speak in “black and white, right and wrong” women speak in cryptic twists of “feelings” and denial of any wrongdoing EVER.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:46 AM
2

I get what you mean at the heart of the matter but doing that will ONLY make his soon to be ex wife more angry and an angry woman in family court can and will lie through their teeth and make this man’s life more miserable than need be. I’d advise him tread lightly until he gets his own place…… it can only help. MHO.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:44 AM
8

That was my situation…. No cheating, no drug abuse or alcoholism, no domestic abuse, just two people that literally grew apart after 20 years…. Had a 15 son at the time. It was BEYOND painful. The GOOD THING is that you DO snap out of it. You do get better and adapt. I’m four years removed from the divorce and in all reality, I’ve never experienced peace like I do now. My son is technically a “man” at 18, and our relationship is fantastic …… things DO get better if you work at it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:41 AM
28

I experienced the same thing only we had moved out of state and I literally had ZERO close family or friends other than my son. Someone else commented. “ nobody’s coming to save you“ it’s a harsh comment, but it’s absolutely true. The best advice I could give you is do everything you can to keep your relationship alive with your children. Hopefully your wife is not vindictive and turns the children against you. You aren’t the first and you are far from the last man that will go through this nigh…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/25 08:36 AM
4

I got divorced after 20 years. And I have to tell you, just the pure feeling of having a stress free environment in my own home is indescribable man. I would highly recommend taking some time for yourself. And as far as if you want to remarry and have more kids, that’s literally a personal decision. Me personally? It’s completely out of the question. Even getting married again is something I’m not willing to consider. As you are no doubt finding out through the divorce court, it is amazingly bia…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 04:55 AM
3

What exactly do you mean by you feel defeated by any hint of your girlfriend’s history that sounds better than you? Are you talking about her life in general? are you talking about her relationship history? What exactly do you mean by all that?
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 04:51 AM
4

Jesus man, that’s just frigging diabolical. But my ex tried the same thing with me. I made a mistake as well. I retreated to my man cave in the basement when I knew things were basically over, but we were still living in the same house. I did a very dumb thing, and I drank a lot. Which is not good to do when you’re in the middle of a fight and she did exactly what your ex did. She waited until she knew that I was “in a mood” and had been drinking and she came down into my space and just started …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 02:27 PM
5

Don’t feel bad man, that tactic is as old as marriage itself. That is a dirty, slick woman tactic. Agitate….. poke the bear, make you mad and then when you finally pop and respond, well all of a sudden the recorder is on. Any man would fall for that. So don’t feel bad about getting roped in, because you didn’t think it was going down this road. But it’s obvious that she has a plan. You’ll be fine man. Do your thing in secret and lay it on or all at once. I guarantee you this: the minute she gets…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 02:11 PM
2

Never tell a woman what your intentions are when it comes to family court. They ALL will lie and fabricate.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 01:49 PM
6

Given the examples that you have of what your ex-wife is capable of, it would be absolutely insane for you to tell her what your plans are. Because I can guarantee you one thing, she will hatch a plan more devious than you’ve ever imagined If you tell her what your intentions are. If you think that your wife was an awful person before, wait till she finds out that you’re trying to take something that she thinks is hers. She will go absolutely bananas. She will make up things that you never did. …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 01:47 PM
1

That’s CA …. Believe me, that place is a whole different country compared to the rest of the country. If you’re on the phone with your wife, you can consent to record and while on the phone with your wife, if the children should be put on the phone or get on the other line, completely legal to tape them as well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 03:01 PM
2

My ex wife tried something similar….after four years of being divorced, With 10 months to go before our son turned 18, she filed a “motion to modify“ and had some first year lawyer try to tell her that I was responsible for unpaid child support since the beginning of our divorce. Now, it should be known that we came to an agreement where I did not pay court ordered child support, but basically paid for everything else in his life. So in our divorce decree, there is no court order of child suppor…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 02:53 PM
1

This may seem pretty obvious but, My ex-wife and I truly had a relationship that was unlike any other either of us had ever experienced. We stayed In absolute bliss for 17 years…… and my take away is to never ever believe that you are different from other people when it comes to relationships and divorce. After that 17 years, it started to go downhill and within three years, we were very angrily divorced. I truly and honestly thought there would never be a scenario in where we could ever possibl…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 12:01 PM
14

Sir, no matter what the scenario, when a woman brings a lawyer into proceedings, it’s going to elevate everything “difficult” by a factor of 1000. A lawyers job into keep you on “billable” hours as long as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 05:32 AM
1

Sorry, don’t mean to offend, but I am not a fan of the American public school system whatsoever. And my ex-wife had her MBA…… and she chose to throw it in the trash and become a public school teacher. I wanted to stick my head in the oven.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 11:01 AM
3

Oh my GOD….. if I ever hear the word “soulmate“ ever again I’m gonna slap whoever says it. That is such an out of touch and convoluted notion that it’s almost comical. People are willing to believe that someone they met who lives five blocks away from their house is their soulmate. When their true real love may live in Liberia for all they know. It’s just a nonsensical, romantic notion perpetuated by women. Soulmates do not exist.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:57 AM
1

100% correct. Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:55 AM
1

I agree with you on the true love part, but monogamy is not bullshit. I think monogamy is very necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:54 AM
1

Jesus no!!! You’re very right in your thinking. If I was having sex with some woman, knowing that some other dude had been crawling around inside her yesterday?? I wouldn’t be able to stop vomiting.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:53 AM
2

Exactly. As I’ve stated in comments above, true love is a myth that humans have constructed. People are very, very reluctant to admit that love, fades and leaves. Whether we want it to or not. This notion of people staying together forever is a little convoluted I would agree.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:51 AM
1

I got divorced at the 20 year mark my friend. And 17 years of it was almost pure happiness. It only takes a few little chinks in the armor and then it can all fall apart. True love is just a myth we made up. You can be very much in love with somebody, but it doesn’t mean that it’s going to last forever. People refuse to accept the fact that Love fades and leaves whether you want it to or not.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:49 AM
0

Absolutely correct. The no fault divorce is single-handedly The reason the divorce rate is what it is today. Family courts are a disgrace..
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/25 10:47 AM
6

I got divorced at the 20 year mark as well. No infidelity, no abuse, nothing someone would consider “destructive activity”. The simple fact, in my opinion, is that around this time, ALL THE SHINE has left the new car and you are left to deal with them as a PERSON. Not someone you are extremely sexually attracted to, but someone that has grown a bit older, lost their looks a bit and isn’t the person you thought they’d be. My ex completely changed. She changed her political beliefs, she chose to t…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 04:36 PM
3

Love is a human emotion just like hate. Think about it: think of someone you HATED years ago, someone you couldn’t stand……. Do you still hate them with the same INTENSITY years later? Most people would say no. Love is the same thing. People are under this illusion that love only goes In an upward trajectory, never fading, never losing intensity… AND ALWAYS GETS BETTER!!! And that….. my friends, is complete nonsense. Love fades and leaves. And being destroyed financially and emotionally in court …
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 04:29 PM
2

Sir, depending on which state you live in, there is a legal item called “ single party consent”. And if your state is one of these, you can record phone conversations, face to face confrontations and any and all venomous behavior without her permission. I’ve written this in other posts, but it helped me more than I can explain. If your wife is this awful, and if it’s legal, get a small digital recorder or a small pen camera or even just yer iPhone and record EVERYTHING. Take the brunt of it all …
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 12:51 PM
5

Common decency and respect are not items of thought to women when they decide to start banging somebody else and wanting a divorce. The nice, loving woman that he knew could watch him get hit by a train and think nothing of it. Something tells me she’s been doing her little extracurricular thing for a while
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:54 AM
3

The heartless BASTARD……
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:51 AM
6

That’s the thing, there is no “things he did in the past“ she is simply using that as a reason to start chipping away at him and their marriage. She’s using it as a tool to make herself feel better about what she’s doing. This is nothing but something she made up in her head. It gives her a reason to “go out and find something (someone) to make her happy” That man could literally squat down on the floor and shit a 12 pound gold bar and something tells me that his wife would say “why didn’t you d…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:50 AM
7

100%……. Make the kids the number one priority and NEVER sit around thinking. It gets dark…… QUICK.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:47 AM
4

And I don’t care WHO It is….. EVERY woman will lie through their teeth in family court if it suits their needs. They love to “enhance” scenarios that can’t be proven……he said she said….. family court has been a disgrace for decades.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:45 AM
4

Sadly, I’d say that’s exactly what’s going on.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:43 AM
20

I know this is definitely not what you want to hear my friend, but from my experience in life, I’m willing to bet that she has been having an affair. Suddenly bringing up “things you did in the past that she can’t forgive you for“ is a pretty weak cop out and a red flag. It’s a made up, bullshit “reason” to start picking your marriage apart. If she couldn’t forgive you for certain things you did in the past then she would’ve divorced you in the past for those things I would think. Not wait until…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:39 AM
12

Honestly, I think If you wasted one single minute trying to “find out the truth” it would one minute too many. People like that can’t be figured out or “explained” to rational, normal thinking people. Everything they do is IRRATIONAL, malicious and done with the intention to do harm to you. The very best thing you could ever do for yourself is to literally put ALL of that relationship and the people attached to it In the rear view and never acknowledge it again. Block everyone. Don’t reply to an…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:10 AM
1

Probably….. they are lawyers after all..
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 06:32 PM
2

Actually no….. the children are not of age to give consent of any legal kind. They can’t decide who they live with and for what reasons. While under his care, he can record conversations between his underage children and their mother…… only in a two party consent state is it required to inform all parties of the recording. Believe me… I’m not disagreeing to be a typical Reddit idiot, went through this in my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 06:30 PM
3

I don’t know about the rest of you fellas, but I do know that since my divorce my tolerance for bullshit is almost 0. I’ve dated two girls since my divorce and all the little red flags that I used to let slide by PING on my radar loud as can be. And I pay attention to them. And at the first sign of any kind of craziness, I’m out of there. It’s the way it has to be. At least divorce as sharpened my senses….. is it the same for you fellas?
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:22 AM
1

Lawyers refuse cases all the time. My ex had two attorneys refuse her case because, according to my lawyer who heard it through the lawyer grapevine, her case against me was “Un-winnable” so she ended up getting some first year lawyer who ultimately filed a motion to remove himself as her attorney. Needless to say…… I won that one.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:19 AM
4

You say you were “convicted”. But there was no police report? So did you actually get convicted of a DV crime or did the family court judge just side with the mother? If so, APPEAL THAT IMMEDIATELY MAN. If you let that stand, that’s just like admitting you did it. But again, it’s hard to offer advice without knowing if you were actually convicted of a crime or not.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:13 AM
6

Sir, I would retain a lawyer immediately and file immediately. If she is walking around bashing you now, I GUARANTEE that when she gets an attorney, all sorts of “enhanced” versions of you will be made up. File first. Have her served. SAY NOTHING about it. Just let it happen. You getting the ball rolling and getting your facts down and filed will put HER on the defense. I don’t know what state you live in, but I’ve mentioned this before …. If you live in what is called a “single party consent st…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 09:08 AM
5

Sir, you need only to ask yourself “what if the roles were reversed?” You can bet your life that she would come at you with both barrels and shake every coin out of your pocket that she could. So if you are disabled, and can PROVE as much, you should get everything owed to you. You are FAR from an asshole for expecting to be compensated like ANY WOMAN in a similar situation would be. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 08:57 AM
3

Depending on what state you live in, some states are “single party consent” states, meaning you can record any and all conversations without her knowledge or consent. It only requires ONE party to consent (you) I would HIGHLY recommend this if you can. It’s an amazingly effective tool. I would also say to remain silent and say nothing disparaging about her at all. Let her tell all the stories she likes. Remain stoic and consistent to your children. I went through something similar when my ex was…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 08:45 AM
2

That is nothing more than playing ridiculous games. That is absolutely HORRIBLE advice to give to anyone going through something as traumatic and life changing as a divorce. There is a REASON he left. Be it wrong or right. And to give this woman hope by advising her to play literal CHILD LIKE games to “make him miss her” is only setting her up to have her misery prolonged. Jesus, I hope you don’t work in the social worker or psychological field.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 08:19 AM
1

That means you’ve done nothing. Thank YOU for the laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 12:30 PM
1

Don’t think it hasn’t crossed my mind!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/25 10:30 AM
2

That’s my whole point of the post my friend……
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 01:46 PM
3

Very true. Like it or not……. Truth.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 04:16 PM
4

Putting things in the trust is absolutely perfect. I was forced to do the same thing. Only my ex did not try to take my retirement thankfully. But all of my life insurance and everything of that nature had to be put into her name until my son is 18. Which is in one month. And then I’ll get to change it all. So I feel your pain on that one. I hope you come out on the other end whole.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 03:10 PM
6

I worked with a guy who was divorced from his wife for five years. She cheated on him. And he recently took her back and he has remarried her. And I’m just waiting for the day for him to get destroyed again. Don’t ever take an ex back. There’s a reason they are your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 03:02 PM
1

Thank you. It’s been addressed.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 03:00 PM
9

The mediation IS a sign of hope for you. That doesn’t happen unless they are in fear of not getting all they want. It’s all just vomit inducing man. All the years spent “happy” don’t even compare to the two years of nonsense. I just can’t see the upside to marriage in any way. I know I’ll NEVER legally marry again. Im open to a relationship that has clear boundaries and what not, but a legal marriage is a big NO. I don’t know when the generations are gonna figure it out. My father loved my now e…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 01:34 AM
5

I figured it out….. apologies!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 01:21 AM
10

From my personal experience, I will say this: I was married for 20 years. There was no cheating going on, there was no drug addiction or stealing or anything of that nature. We had plenty of money. We had no financial issues at all….. and just over time, she started to change. And people either change in the same direction or they change in opposite directions. And I am a believer in the idea that unless you can grow in the same direction as time goes on, there’s no reason to keep going. You’re …
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 11:33 PM
6

That sound advice. And, it’s a little bit terrifying. Which, in my opinion, is what’s needed. I’ll be passing this logic on to my son…. VERY well said.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:49 PM
1

Exactly….. they will see them for what they are eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:47 PM
2

Thanks man….. if I had known…. I would have done!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:39 PM
2

Again…. Apologies!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:38 PM
2

RIGHT ON MAN. I love hearing that. We don’t get the “W” very often….. it’s good to hear
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:37 PM
1

The kid was always the concern…. And my ex knew that. They will work that angle every time. Thankfully, my son didn’t have ugliness planted in his head. I refused to speak badly about his mother. I let him figure it out on his own. And he’s starting to understand………
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:37 PM
2

That’s EXACTLY what it was…. A last minute attempt at a cash grab. Sickening.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:27 PM
4

If I may….. be as not confrontational as possible… she’s gonna do all of that for the both of you. Best of luck man…..
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:26 PM
2

Thanks….. you are right on correct.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:25 PM
5

Sorry about it being one big run on. All the breaks didn’t show up when I posted. I’m not Reddit savvy. I apologize
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 05:47 PM
2

Welcome to the no holds barred world of “family courts” the fact that your wife hasn’t worked, doesn’t work…. Whatever….makes NO DIFFERENCE in court. All a family court judge looks at is the financial situation WHILE you were married and judges accordingly. Unless your ex-wife is a criminal or has a verifiable drug addiction or some strange circumstance, if you make the money in the marriage, you’re going to pay it outside of the marriage. It is a completely disgusting and biased system that nee…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 03:56 PM
12

My friend, there is a reason that you got divorced. I am the same age as you and I was divorced three years ago, and with the exception of moving that far away, we have almost the same exact scenario. Right after we were divorced, it seemed like everything was brand new again. We could talk and have fun and have Decent conversations. But inevitably it crumbles. And it’s worse afterwards. This is just my opinion, but I would stay as far away from talking to her as humanly possible. You have no ch…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/25 06:50 AM
2

As of 2025, first marriages have a 41% divorce rate. Which is down. HOWEVER, the average time frame for a first marriage that fails is 8 years. And second marriages are at 61% divorce and third marriages are 73% divorce rate. Now, forget all the simplistic ideology of a “love that is no longer there“ and look at the financial and emotional toll that is taken. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first marriage or your fourth marriage, men are going to be destroyed in family court. Especially if there …
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 04:06 PM
9

People often buy into the notion that a long marriage is a successful marriage. Which is complete nonsense. According to an article I read, first time marriages that last over 20 years have a 72% divorce rate. Every way you look at marriage it’s a failure.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/25 10:54 PM
1

100% true
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 07:56 AM
13

In my opinion, this is a situation that differs man-to-man. I was married for 20 years and then was divorced. I dated a couple women and I realized immediately that being on my own and having that unbelievably beautiful level of peace in my life where I could do whatever I want whenever I wanted with no input from some woman was so far superior in making me happy than any womans company ever had, that I realized I had no interest in ever being married again. I don’t say this to be insulting, but…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:57 PM
2

Its good to be able to at least admit that sort of thing.......you will get on your way man. We all do. 20 years is a lifetime....again, i can completely relate. When I mentally moved on.....YIKES!! the world kinda opens up again man!!! hang in there brother!! we have all been there.....and yer gonna be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 06:01 PM
2

Brother, everything you need to know is written by you. That woman knows that you have proof that she is the aggressor. And she’s doing the typical woman thing. Threatening divorce. My wife did the same thing under different circumstances. Everything was a threat of divorce. If you delete those photos? You’re deleting any chance of retaining your existence as you know it. I hate to be the one to tell you, brother, but when you have a woman threatening divorce? You’re already halfway to divorce. …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 05:23 PM
10

Man, I wouldn’t call you an asshole, but I would call you out of your mind. I have a somewhat similar situation. I was married 20 years and then divorced. It was very hard at first, but holding onto things like that does absolutely nothing for the advancement of your existence, brother. You are holding onto an ideal and tradition that means absolutely nothing to the person that you’re holding onto it for. I mean, if you want to spend the money and the time to get your ex-wife flowers, shit, do w…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 05:15 PM
9

Aside from the legal divorce, brother…… let me be honest with you. I think I speak for most men when I say that we have all been where you’re at. What you describe is exactly what massive heartbreak feels like. I know you don’t wanna hear this, but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it man. You got involved with a woman that didn’t know who she was or what she was and you’re paying the price with your emotions right now…. BUT…. Please listen when I say this…… you will get better. I kno…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 05:06 PM
6

In my state, you pay 221 only if they are a full-time college student. If they are not then it ends at 18.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:47 PM
-9

This isn’t a political forum dimwit. Take your neck beard and your Dorito dust and head on over to the video game or something.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:43 PM
3

Absolutely I bet it was. And age does matter. But I didn’t get married until I was 33 years old. And I thought I had my shit together. And it just doesn’t matter. You can be a dumb young person or you can be in your 30s and think you have everything figured out. In court it all goes the same way no matter your age you know? And now I’m middle aged and having to deal with all this bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:41 PM
10

Well said.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:39 PM
2

I see what you’re saying. But, there isn’t anything that you can do in a marriage that you can’t do in a committed, monogamous relationship. You can be in love, you can share a home, you can have a family, you can share expenses, and you can share a life. There is no good reason for marriage. Religion has bullshitted people into believing that they have to stand before some sort of “official“ and let the state know that I officially love this person. It’s one of the biggest scams in civilized so…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:39 PM
23

Couldn’t agree with you more. I was married for 20 years and then got divorced. I have personally never seen one marriage that I would consider. “successful“. People have this idiotic notion that a long marriage equals a successful marriage. Nothing could be farther from the truth. First time marriages that last over 25 years have something like a 63% divorce rate. There is no good reason to get married whatsoever for a man. You are basically buying a long-term escort. If you’re any kind of man,…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:19 PM
-4

Go to the r/neckbeards section. Thats more your speed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:12 PM
3

Absolutely
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:08 PM
5

I guess it depends on what kind of marriage/divorce you had. I was married for 20 years and when I got divorced, I dated a couple women and other than the “intimate“ situations, I had no want and or need for them whatsoever. I was so tired of the feminine mindset and the “I’m always correct“ mindset that I was completely content to sit in My Home, in peace, watching what I want, cooking what I want and not having to filter my thoughts and or actions through the mind of an irrational female. Ever…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:07 PM
1

Good on you brother…… you being miserable CAN be felt by your kids. My son has told me so. So I wasn’t fooling him by “hanging in there” in a marriage I felt almost nothing about anymore just for his “benefit” he has told me that he loves being at my house (50/50 legal and physical custody) but he likes it at moms as well because there isn’t any “they could fight at any moment” feeling hanging in the air.. it broke my heart to hear all that coming from him. I sincerely thought that I was doing t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 06:00 PM
2

Man, you have to message me that day that you finally get what you want. I know SO MUCH what you mean by your kids meaning everything…. Same with me….. my son is the reason I hung in there as long as I could. And I felt guilt when she threatened me with divorce, AGAIN, only this time I agreed. Hang in there………
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 03:23 PM
2

I’m beyond glad to hear that my friend!!!! Rarely on Reddit does someone say they liked what someone else has to say. Basically, I was just venting here. I was reading through the comments and I saw this post and just decided to kind of belt it all out. And I can totally relate with what you say about your situation. Believe me I can. And I’ll just say this much, I think it is a sin and a shame that you, as a man, have never known what it’s like to sit in complete peace with nobody in your ear a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/24 02:47 PM
2

That “blended” family is a bad idea for any man. I think in the end it’s important for men to remember that if they get involved with a woman with children, he literally has zero legitimate or legal authority over her kids in any way, unless he adopts them. And let me tell you, that’s what ended my 20 year marriage. Once I started to develop an opinion that wasn’t in lock step with my wife when it came to my stepdaughter, well……. I went from being the greatest guy in the world to “the enemy“
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:51 AM
4

ABSOLUTELY CORRECT
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:48 AM
5

Being at “PEACE” has become like a currency for me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:47 AM
4

When I was divorced, we got 50-50 custody of our son. I was married for 20 years. And just the emotional strain and the financial strain of going through the divorce and dealing with a woman that I used to love more than anything else who then became a woman I could barely stand to be in the same room with was just mentally and physically exhausting. So when it was all said and done, any dating scenario that got too close to being “serious“, I just pulled myself away from it. The thought of havi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 07:46 AM
1

Oh man…. That’s the FIRST SIGN of gaslighting….you showing them what they said and them literally saying “I never said that” in the face of hard evidence. Mine tried that crap as well….. but I simply laughed it off. She knows I have TOO MUCH proof and paper trail for her to pull that bullshit in a courtroom… if it ever goes that far…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:02 PM
1

Great. You win. Are we all done now?
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 04:07 AM
1

God damn man.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 12:53 AM
1

You didn’t read the post about the money spent for the “extra day” and that he has a job, that requires him to leave my home. 4 and 3 is about the most 50 50 custody a couple can achieve with a teenage boy when we live towns away. Perhaps it’s my fault and I didn’t understand what you meant. If that’s the case. I sincerely apologize
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 11:31 PM
1

4+3=7 Seven days being the number of days In a week.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 11:26 PM
1

MY EX HAS AN MBA !!! She threw it away for a pathetic position…. Can’t really say, someone in her camp would zero in on it for sure…..
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 06:24 PM
1

Yeah, you have a more specific case than mine. But mine is FAR more stupid. I swear, my ex is a VERY highly educated woman. Masters Degree…. But when it comes to common sense and things like what we are going through NOW?? You’d think she failed pre-school and was raised by wolves…. Just plain stupidity. Sadly, the one thing that I have learned is that no matter how intelligent or educated a woman is, if they are given a chance to lie and or cry in a court of law to get their way, they will abso…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 06:00 PM
1

Just my personal experience, my wife and I decided to divorce after 20 years. We had a 14 year old son. As much as she and I didn’t care for one another at the moment, we literally sat him down and explained that mom and dad were going to separate. She and I calmly (I can’t stress that enough…. BE CALM) explained to him that we both loved and adored him and that the only change would be that we all wouldn’t live together all the time. At 14, he understood the concept but was still a bit upset. S…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 05:13 PM
1

With my limited knowledge of divorce and family law, I’d have to say you’re probably right. No matter how much of a bulldog my lawyer may be, she still has one objective: billable hours. Granted, she’s doing my bidding and she is doing a very good job but as far as “lawyers talking” she has literally told me that in four months there has been no communication whatsoever. Once my lawyer filed the return paperwork, letting the court know that she was on the case and I was refuting All the claims m…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 04:54 PM
1

From my experience with divorce, if the house is in neither one of your names then basically you would be considered “renters”. But if it’s your mother’s home, I doubt you even have a lease agreement? So the house is nothing burger. Having no kids is going to make this so amazingly easy when you get to court. So honestly, I really wouldn’t sweat too much right now. Since she does make a little bit more than you, you might, and I must stress…. MIGHT be eligible for a bit of spousal support, depen…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 04:47 PM
1

Good info. Thanks. But I have found that in addition I simply pay by check and notate everything in the memo line. I’ve literally got every single check I’ve written to this woman since the divorce. It’s just a matter of printing them off my banks website. She’s tried several times to “just give me cash when you drop him off” back before he could drive…. I remember literally laughing…..
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 04:31 PM
1

That beginning line of your response gave me a minor shot of adrenaline…. I’m going to ask my attorney if that applies where I’m at.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 04:26 PM
3

……. A counter suit is in the works should this end up going to court. And you can bet I’ll sue for my attorneys fees. And the asinine part? She’s trying to get me to pay HER attorneys fees. The woman has straight up lost her grip on reality, or is convinced she can lie and cry enough in court to get her way….. I just don’t know at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 02:33 PM
–

I don’t particularly agree with one person of another “being in charge” but when it comes to kids, BOTH parents have a responsibility to at least try and raise less that asshole humans…. I’d say 60% of the reason I got divorced after 20 years was because my ex was a lot like yours. The kids could do no wrong, they lived like absolute animals and after years and years of me losing my mind as the kids proceeded to damn near ruin a $300,000 with filth and nastiness….. … my opinion seeming to mean n…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 02:58 AM
1

Oh and believe me…. Ive taken the numbers and added the 20% and all that….. I’ve done over this crap so many times that I’m starting to memorize aspects of all of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 12:35 AM
4

Women are just vindictive liars when it comes to family court……. I literally don’t recognize this woman and her seemingly endless need to be seen as “correct” even in the face of overwhelming proof against her……I’m seeing that trying to find logic in her actions or inactions is just futile.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 12:18 AM
3

Divorce decree is VERY clear that “neither party will be required to pay court ordered child support” this is something that SHE brought up and agreed to. She has had a small % raise and I have as well. That’s why she decided to add 20% to the initially required calculation. (Even though it was not enforced) I spoke in another post that I have literally spent MORE money for the health and care and happiness of my son NOW than I would have ever paid had I been required to pay the divorce decree c…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 10:23 PM
2

Absolutely…… and I do have a tendency to worry about shit I can’t control …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 09:25 PM
3

Let that situation be the other way around and watch the shit storm begin….. sorry man. Hope you move on ok.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 09:24 PM
1

My god man…… I’m sorry to hear that. There’s NOW WAY for you to recoup ANY of the money she got under false pretenses?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:30 PM
3

Oh I HAVE ONE!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:28 PM
2

And that wasn’t done at all…. When I say “no response for three months” from her attorney…..I’m being literal.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:25 PM
2

Absolutely not man….
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:23 PM
2

And I can’t say where I’m at but we share some “Texas values” and there are severe child support judgements handed down, but not Willy Nilly. When we divorced, the judge literally commended us for being such adults about everything and not fighting in court. He told us that he wish there were more people like us……….. I hope you’re right and she’s bluffing but if we do end up back in court, I just hope it’s the same judge that presided over our divorce……
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:20 PM
2

Oh man….. I swear, when I read your post, I BOLTED for my paperwork to see if there was anything to show or prove that she had “retained” him….. I’m not sure. But what you said makes a MOUNTAIN of sense. It only takes $40 to file something correct??? I literally never thought of that……
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:16 PM
3

My God man….. out of pure curiosity……. And hope….. please tell me you came out on top of that …..
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:14 PM
3

Also….. I’ve got every. Single. Document and piece of evidence and receipts logged in a ledger. Everything. If a judge showed up at my door, I’d be ready
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:08 PM
1

Love that!!! Well, I’ve swallowed any and all pride And am listening to my attorney. She’s been pretty damn aggressive with tactics “we could use” …..
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:04 PM
2

No, you can’t bargain “out of court” but we have it in our divorce decree that neither party will pay the other “mandated or ordered” child support….. I literally pay MORE right now for the day to day life of my son than I WOULD have paid had I been ordered to pay child support via the courts. It makes me sick. I don’t mind providing for my son…. That’s my JOB as a parent. But I literally could have avoided all this…. But you just NEVER KNOW what a judge will do…. He could have looked at the cal…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 08:02 PM
1

Agreed. Very much so. AND so you know, my attorney got on the “hyper-vigilant” side as well and has alerts set up for anything that is filed instead of reading daily email. She ALSO has made mention of filing for a dismissal if the conditions are fair to do so. One thing I won’t do is back off or settle. This is just another sickening example of a self centered woman attempting to use the family courts to intimidate and or get their way via lies and tears. But the items she’s brought forth are s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:57 PM
3

I see, ok…… well sir, within that entire arch of a story, if a typo is what you laser focused on and took time to comment on? Perhaps a doctors appointment is in order. I do wish you all the best, and I will do MY BEST to not “fat finger” the 3 and 4 button. Thanks and have a glorious day!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:50 PM
3

Oh god no I didn’t remarry. She and I both promised to not introduce any “new people” into his life until he was 18…. Well, it took her less than 5 months. I’ve dated woman but never brought them in front of my son. He knows I go out occasionally, but only when he’s at his mother’s house. He’s not dumb…. He knows but still, I promised. I’m keeping my house a “me and my son only” house until he leaves. I just want him to realize that one of his parents sees him as the #1 priority……. She’s not a b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:27 PM
1

My friend…. Go on to Amazon or spy gear. Com….. they literally make very affordable camera detectors. I have one…. WORKS like a charm.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 07:15 PM
1

…. And to be clear, 4 years since the divorce when I was served.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:47 PM
1

My thoughts exactly….. AND, she STILL, to this day, has property that was awarded to ME in the divorce that she refuses to give me, once again under the “if you take it, we are going back to court to see what a judge thinks.” I have to admit, family court being what it is, that just scared me to death… I was convinced after seeing terrible things happen to other men that I would be admonished and made to pay…… until I did my own research and got that nice lady lawyer who spilled the tea NICE AND…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:42 PM
1

Jesus….
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:39 PM
1

MY GOD MAN…. My lawyer almost said those EXACT WORDS…. She said to me, “this decree was judged on and made legal 4 years ago…. Both of you have adhered to the stipulated conditions WITH THE EXCEPTION of her….. and SHES looking to amend for more money? These 4 family judges (I live in a fairly smaller city) DO NOT like it when a judgement is passed, both parties are compliant and seemingly satisfied and then one party decides YEARS later, with no substantial change in income or status, that they …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:36 PM
2

That was my question….. then it was explained that she was “Filing a motion to Modify a Judgement Entry” Ya know….. she wants to amend the decree she AUTHORED to make it more financial beneficial for herself…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 06:28 PM
2

What doesn’t kill me right????
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:31 PM
3

Absolutely…….. again, well said.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:18 PM
2

And also….. I’ve blocked her on every social media platform, I’ve blocked her text and her phone number. We communicate only through email and only about our son.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:16 PM
3

Brother, I have literally every returned check I ever gave her. I have EVERY receipt for clothing, necessities and school expenditures. I have a journal with the receipts of grocery store runs and restaurant receipts…… I kept and cataloged ALL OF IT.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:15 PM
2

How ironic…. A situation where hard facts and sound evidence should be the ONLY deciding factor often turns into an emotional bulls*hit session….. the women’s tears flow and everything goes sideways…. I am however, happy to see that a lot of family courts are starting to turn a corner on this. They are not buying the same old stories 100% of the time like they used to.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:12 PM
3

Oh brother, I have a DOOZIE of a story about her “moving on” but honestly, if I gave the specifics…. SOMEONE in her camp would know it was me posting…… I’ll attempt water it down and explain it…. I doubt it will have a lot of impact in court (if it comes to that) with the exception of her literally abandoning my then 14 year old son at her house, without telling me, as she drove 3 hours to go on a “date”.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:08 PM
3

Yikes man…..but yer correct, so much for trying to be the “understanding nice guy ex husband”
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:04 PM
2

That’s sound advise….. and if I may be clear, I consider myself an intelligent person… I’m not the smartest person in the world but CLEARLY far from the dumbest…. But being hit with such unknown “aspects” is enough to make ANY one person go MAD thinking about “the angles” but you make sense….. can’t worry about what I don’t know about. Much appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:02 PM
1

Also, as much as it would break my heart to involve my son in any court proceedings….. you don’t realize how correct you are. Give a judge 15 minutes with my son and she’s DONE. I pray it doesn’t come to that….. but that is my ace in the hole that I desperately don’t want to use.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:36 PM
1

I’ve literally blocked her in every way. Social media, texts all that. In the beginning, we would have epic text fights. Just stupid heartbreak crap….. which I disclosed to the lawyer….. NOW? We speak ONLY via email and exclusively about our son. I could sense her trying to bait me into saying something she could use in court and I did EXACTLY as you said. If it doesn’t concern the boy, it doesn’t get said.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:34 PM
2

Yes, I have filled my head reading cases MUCH worse than mine….. I know MANY men much worse off than myself who have been DECIMATED in family court by a lying woman. I guess I kinda scared myself thinking the worst……
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:21 PM
5

That’s smart and even thinking. It’s difficult to have that attitude at the moment, but you are absolutely correct. Oh, and I may be a little worried HERE, but if and when the rubber meets the road and we end up in court…… I will DROWN them in paperwork and video evidence. Fuck her indeed if it comes to that point.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:15 PM
3

THAT is what I believe deep down is happening. I basically gave her what she wanted to break away clean and now that the ride (son turning 18) is almost over, she’s sending up one last Hail Mary/money grab attempt. I honestly don’t think she thought I would retain an attorney…… she would leave me text and voicemails about how she knew that I was “ducking” being served papers, and. How her attorney told her that I was being unreasonable and acting in bad faith. …… I remember asking her “do you th…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:06 PM
4

It’s enough to make you puke every day….. I get it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:00 PM
5

I discussed that with my attorneys as well. But if I’m being honest, I would like my son to just turn 18 and have nothing happen. That’s my want and wish. But believe me, there are plans in the works for counter suing should it come to that…..
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:51 PM
3

And to be clear…. We’ve been divorced 4 years!!!! Now seems like a very strange time to stir up the pot, then suddenly throw the pot down the stairs… ya know?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:49 PM
8

I’d say I would agree with you….. she has a sister. So I’m sure they got together, but it still doesn’t explain WHY she has gone FULL STOP on everything….. perhaps someone ELSE got in her ear with some “other” advice…. I just don’t know
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:47 PM
3

Honestly, if anything she has MORE resources than myself. She has a decent inheritance that she’s forced to pull out of twice a year. Unless she’s taken on a bad habit, money isn’t really her issue as far as I know.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:42 PM
3

I’m a real noob man…. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:37 PM
5

How long has your “silence” gone on?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:36 PM
3

Well said. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:35 PM
3

That’s an aspect I left out, she’s trying to make me pay HER attorney fees. The one thing my attorney told me that was a definite was “you won’t be paying her attorneys fees at all“. And she did mention something along the lines of what you just said. She told me “judges do not like these kinds of cases, especially when they’ve already been judged on and have been in place for years. And myhand to God, what I wrote is all true
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:29 PM
5

Oh we’ve both “moved on” it’s been four years…. That’s why I CANNOT understand the timing. We are months away from him being a legal adult and she literally KNOWS I have proof that would shoot down every one of her claims. I just don’t see the reasoning….
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:26 PM
3

That’s very reassuring to hear…. Honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:24 PM
5

Thanks…. I will remember next time. That is one giant breathless statement I agree….
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:23 PM
5

I TRIED!!! I’m typing on an iPhone keyboard and inserted paragraphs…. My apologies.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 03:16 PM
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