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View 2 posts and 63 comments by smithaej on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
60

CULTURAL MISOGYNYsmithaej/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 01:37 PM
11

SEEKING ADVICEsmithaej/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 08:55 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

Same. I was "sex positive" in my 20s until I couldn't take the degradation/HPV/sexual assault anymore. Literally every woman I know who had a "ho phase" got assaulted during that time. Rape is not a rite of passage. It's not inevitable. Family is one thing, but date rape? There are things you can do to make yourself safer, and having strong boundaries (and leaving the first time someone disrespects them) makes you less likely to be a victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 10:35 AM
112

You know, if two consenting adults want to get weird in the privacy of their own home, go nuts. What is so weird is when people construct their entire identity around being kinky. Like going on social media to brag about how kinky they are and how lame vanilla sex is, and trying to convert people. Being pushy and coercive is decidedly the MO of abusers, the BDSM community talks SO MUCH about respecting boundaries, and yet members of that community are always on reddit shaming people for liking v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:36 PM
9

This is verifiable. For example, there is a correlation between the equality of a given society and the median age of a woman's first marriage. With more political equity between the sexes, the average age of a bride increases and the age gap between spouses decreases. With less political equity between the sexes, brides are younger with a bigger age gap between spouses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 04:52 PM
9

Look at Lizzo! She's a big girl but she carries herself with confidence and that is attractive. I also know women who are conventionally beautiful but who have low self esteem and that comes across as well. Sexy is an attitude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 06:23 PM
3

Sex isn't a bad thing, but sexual exploitation is. I think the sex positive message began in a good place (e.g. in response to a Victorian era cultural trend that said women have no sexual desire as an excuse to control female sexual behavior). It's totally cool to advocate for sexual empowerment in the form of acknowledgement and appreciation of the female orgasm. That is not what the sex positive movement has become, however. Current day sex positive thought acknowledges that women are objecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:27 PM
12

If you show them your tits they already got what they wanted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:25 PM
20

I used to be this way, too. My first sexual experience was abuse, and by the time I was in college I had created this script for myself that "sex doesn't mean anything, I can have sex like men, have fun, not get attached." I believed liberal feminism when they told me sexuality was a way to have power over a man. But in the morning, I couldn't wash that feeling of shame off in the shower. The men I slept with weren't cuntstruck by my sexuality. Instead, when they saw how "into sex" I was, they m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 05:23 PM
31

Onlyfans is pornography. The commodification of female bodies is degrading to all women, not just those who choose to objectify themselves. It reinforces the social narrative that women are sex objects, not people. The fact that some women volunteer for that kind of degradation makes it difficult for the rest of us to say "it is not ok to treat us that way, I don't want to be sexualized in my day-to-day life. I want to be treated with dignity and respect." Onlyfans also creates a lot of undue pr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 04:40 PM
74

"Liberal feminism is takes an individualistic perspective on women’s liberation. So the priority, for liberal feminists, is about the ability of individuals to make choices. Liberal feminism also focuses on achieving “equality” through legislative reform. What this means is that liberal feminists don’t aim to attack the root of the problem, but rather make changes within the system that already exists in order to help enable women to hold equal status to men in society. The main problem with lib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 01:08 PM
14

He's not concerned for his daughter's wellbeing, he is concerned about his own reputation as "alpha". He doesn't want anyone to have sex with his daughter because they see us as their property. His daughter having sex with another man weakens his sense of dominance over her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 12:40 PM
4

Woah. This makes a lot of sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:38 AM
11

It was sexual objectification of female bodies from start to finish. I feel like that performance was the dance embodiment of what this sub calls "pickmeisha" behavior. Scantily clad women spinning on stripper poles? Thrusting their crotches into the camera? Mock bondage? Grinding her ass into a guy's crotch and simulating sex as a dance move? It was so undignified. They might as well have said "I'm not like those other boring women musicians who demand to be taken seriously or treated with dign…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 03:27 AM
56

Why is this mainstream feminism? I had to unfollow a feminist Instagram account recently because they called the complaints about the jlo/Shakira halftime show an example sexism. Link It was their most upvoted post in recent history and all of the comments were saying that people complaining about women being oversexualized are "what's wrong with America". What world am I living in? Why is lib fem so popular among women?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 02:40 PM
38

"Men are the reason we're made to feel uncomfortable not wearing one." THIS! I can't even imagine what it would be like to view my body as anything other than a sexual object because I've been taught to internalize the male gaze. Can you imagine thinking of a boob like you think of a shoulder or a foot or any other body part? I hate how they've made me feel ashamed of my own natural body.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:10 PM
14

The ladies over at r/abrathatfits have a lot of resources for figuring out what bra you need/where to get it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:07 PM
44

I think about this all the time! Like what if my body was just my body and not this sexualized object for others to judge and gawk at? What a world!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 03:04 PM
3

Evan Antin isn't gay?! Well I'll be damned...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:09 PM
167

This woman is definitely a witch because she hasn't aged in 20 years. Work it, girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 08:44 PM
10

This implies that you are for looking for paid work. Female bodies are not a commodity and it's dangerous to reinforce the notion that we are available to the highest bidder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/20 06:36 PM
29

Keeping women separated and at odds with each other forces us to find men to fulfill our need to love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:56 PM
42

Only losers who can't get real women to want them need porn. it's pathetic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:54 PM
71

Or he was just throwing things out there to get her to stay. They always offer the most when you're walking out the door
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 05:45 PM
4

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 02:05 PM
16

I'm old enough to be out of touch. Can you explain what discord is?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:31 PM
29

Can someone please make a book that is nothing but different versions of this meme? We need a textbook on how to spot a fuckboy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 03:06 PM
1

For sure. I think being able to name something gives you a lot of power. I can remember how much harder it was to define or describe (or even see!) manipulative behavior before I learned the term "gaslighting". Now that I have a word for it, I can name it when I see it, and it has less power over me. If someone feels ashamed of their actions or ideas, they won't be honest about them when asked. The absence of judgment is needed to get to the truth of things. I think talking about the reality of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 02:35 PM
14

Personally, I'm glad they write stuff like this. For a long time I thought men were like women. I would wrack my brain to justify why they behaved the way they did, because surely no one could be that cruel on purpose. Getting a peek behind the curtain to understand how men really think has shattered a lot of illusions for me that have helped me to see through the bullshit faster. I'm a lot savvier to their tricks now, thanks in part to groups like this where women share their experience, but al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 09:07 PM
24

There are plenty of examples in media of mediocre men as a stand-in for the Everyman still landing a bombshell wife/girlfriend. I think the point he is making is that media sets expectations in children's minds about what life is like and media caters to this male fantasy that women will faint with euphoria over being "picked" by a man (any man) even if he's done nothing to win her over. When women don't spread their legs at the first offering of male attention, their scrote brain short circuits…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 03:27 PM
76

Author tries to explain the ways he has been conditioned by society to hate women. They are: Feeling powerless because women are the gatekeepers of sex Resenting women for having to act mature/respectful instead of being allowed to do whatever he wants Inability to be accountable for his own sex drive/belief and resentment that women and biology conspire to turn men on at inappropriate times Inability to see women as anything other than a sex object Belief that he is "owed" a hot girl just for e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 02:29 PM
43

This is why conditioning girls to internalize the male gaze is so damaging. You take away their ability to be the source of their own validation and confidence and instead make them dependent on male attention to feel good about themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:15 PM
5

That video is so cringey. Objectifying women is perfectly fine unless you'd be offending her man?? GTFO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 02:27 PM
48

Sorry to make the post extra creepy then! He uses language that makes it clear the "girls" he's referring to are actually teenagers. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:31 PM
159

They weren't women, they were children
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 04:11 PM
12

I think women are conditioned from the time we are girls to view men as the only "real" source of validation. Think of those teen movies where the obviously beautiful "nerd" isn't considered beautiful until the male lead decides she is. We've been brainwashed to wait on male compliments to believe anything good about ourselves. So when it happens, when men give us positive attention, it feels so good as to be almost addictive. Some men realize this about women and use that vulnerability to explo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 03:51 PM
15

I had an ex who would do something similar. He definitely did not have a healthy relationship with alcohol and used to try to make me be "in charge" of cutting him off when he had too much. I refused because it seemed really unhealthy but never really understood what that was about until reading your post. He just didn't have the willpower to make his own decisions and control his own behavior like an adult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:51 PM
54

Per the Wikipedia entry: "The husband's initial antagonistic behavior cues the gender moral of the story: constantly demeaning a clever wife can be dangerous" Yes. 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 01:49 PM
32

Agreed! I also don't think it's very feminist to decide which ideas a woman is "allowed" to explore
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:15 PM
40

As someone who is not actively dating right now, I downloaded OLD for a bit just to practice vetting. I must say, the savage burns felt really empowering. It felt like taking my dignity back. Maybe it is stage of leveling up that you get to and move past? Like there is a phase between a) taking and accepting LVM bullshit and b) being totally ambivalent to LVM bullshit where one practices establishing and enforcing boundaries. Calling men out on their bullshit felt like a growth exercise for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 01:54 PM
17

strongly recommend going to a real therapist (with corona, I've actually been able to meet with my therapist via videochat making it super easy) This stuff is HEAVY. I have strained a lot of friendships by leaning too hard on them for this kind of support. Therapists also have expertise in the way past experience informs current experience. Their input hits different because they are basically an impartial observer in your life. They have no skin in the game, and don't require reciprocity in the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 12:04 PM
28

Coercing someone to have sex is rape
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:48 AM
4

Agreed. There's no "not having it" but there is a level of "being able to manage it"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 02:43 PM
23

As someone with mental health issues, dating before you are recovered is dangerous business. For one thing, you are not yet your best self, and may come to view the other person as the "solution" to your problems, since the seratonin/oxytocin rush of a new relationship can make you feel GREAT... for a time. When that rush wears off, feelings of inadequacy in romance can be absolutely brutal for a person who deals with depression. This can get very ugly and heartbreaking for everyone involved, ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:06 PM
14

Your personal preferences are not objective truth though? What you like is not what is universally good. Let people be themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/20 02:44 PM
17

I'm curious as to why you would offer a critique of what a stranger feels is their own best qualities. She didn't ask you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/20 02:30 PM
105

Even if you are experienced, who cares? A woman doesn't "wear out" that's some OG patriarchal shit. The OP thinks of his wife as his property that someone else has gotten a sample of, not as a real person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:51 PM
13

It's almost like being an addict. While someone in recovery really shouldn't spend time with other addicts, spending time with other people who have dealt with the same issues and beat them is deeply empowering
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:38 PM
64

Same. When I was dating I noticed this weird thing where like 60% of my first dates would make some kind of comment like "wow, you've got quite a vocabulary, huh?" Not in an impressed way, but in a sheepish/resentful way. Per "The Social Animal" by David Brooks, one of the first ways we begin to identify someone's intelligence while dating is by paying attention to the person's use of vocabulary. LVM seem to overestimate their own intelligence, so when they imagine an intellectual woman, she's s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 01:47 PM
6

Girrrl I saw your other post about this. So glad you found your way here! The man of your dreams is going to fall all over himself trying to impress you. Your ex was a life lesson, not a partner. I know after something like that it's easy to look to yourself for an explanation. You didn't do anything wrong, except to pick the wrong man. You are totally lovely and lovable exactly as you are, just need to give yourself a chance to see it! The lovely ladies on this sub have lots of wisdom to share …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 08:18 PM
31

This. I was reading some of the posts on r/sexworkersonly the other day and it seems even when sex workers post their prices up front, men try to haggle or negotiate them down. I think men get a sense of power out of trying to convince women they should accept less than what they are asking for. Like, if the man can't afford the woman they want, instead of trying to pursue the "cheaper" woman, they try to get the "expensive" woman to reduce her rates. It's like a power dynamic or something. Like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 12:43 PM
16

I am a white woman and have been straight up shocked by the stories I have heard from black women on this sub. Please keep sharing them! I feel strongly that female solidarity is our way out of this bullshit culture and when I hear the abuse other women have to put up with, that sense of solidarity builds. Everyone experiences misogyny in slightly different ways, but hearing the different experiences we all go through builds empathy and resilience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:47 PM
85

"it is sexy" holy shit that's horrifying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 03:45 PM
3

Damn girl, easy on the contempt. Edit: and for the record, I thought it'd be a good time to start because obviously can't meet up with anyone right now anyway, so thought it would be a good time to start practicing FDS vetting. Low risk, high learning potential. Have learned a lot already and feeling more prepared for when I start dating for real later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:00 PM
5

Nah queen like on the 2nd message!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:48 PM
23

Great advice. I'm also sort of stunned. I thought this would be a great time to dip my toe back in, since meeting up obviously shouldn't be happening, but they'd still rather arrange imaginary dates for 2 weeks in the future than actually just exchange some messages for now to see if there's chemistry. One guy asked me out to drinks, and when I reminded him the bars in this state are all closed he asked if I wanted to drink with him in the parking lot of liquor store. Reminded me why I stopped d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:39 PM
18

this. every time an LVM would break my heart my friends would be like "how did you even end up with this trashman?" I would put them on a pedestal and be so flattered someone like THAT would want someone like ME. After a few months I'd realize "omg, no that guy was actually a big loser." Losers like to find good women with low self-esteem that they can push down to make themselves feel bigger. And if this guy is a grown ass adult chasing college girls he is definitely a loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:17 PM
19

Ugh the musician fuckboy is the ultimate fuckboy. They are just emotionally aware enough to know how to be exploitative. Women throw themselves at musicians and it makes them think they're Casanova. RUN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:15 PM
35

When I was 21 this didn't seem that creepy to me. As a 31 year old, just trust us. Don't do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:12 PM
11

I gave up social media for lent and the IMMEDIATE improvement in my self esteem is really notable. Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:04 PM
120

I'm a CPA. When I was on OLD, some men would match with me just to get free accounting advice. My response to them was always "I bill at $400 an hour"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:28 PM
4

I'm curious if any OG LDS ladies could help me understand this. I am like this. I live my own damn life and largely have let dating go by the wayside. I am not on any apps, pursue a lot of hobbies, etc. But I also NEVER have men randomly come up to me and start talking to me. Like, never. I'm fit, attractive, well educated, but just have never been the woman who gets hit on. So how do you navigate "having a rotation" and being knee deep in male attention when you like, aren't? I don't want to go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 09:46 PM
9

I've got a lot going for me. I'm tall, attractive, well educated, funny, etc. But I've never been able to attract male attention. I learned to compensate for this by being one of those "not like the other girls" and by being overtly sexual. Obviously neither of those strategies worked. I'm ready to retire those old pickmeisha strategies, but I'm afraid I'll just hear crickets. No one has ever tried to talk to me at the gym, I don't drink so I don't hang out at bars, etc... So do you queens have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:08 PM
10

I am new to this community and I just wanted to say that this is a transformational space. I have dealt with feelings of inadequacy and abusive LVM since puberty, and something about this sub has made things click for me. For so long, I felt like no matter how nice I acted or how sexy I looked, men would continue to make me feel like a victim. I thought it was something wrong with ME but this sub has helped me to see how clearly the problem is and always has been with THEM. My learned pickmeisha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 02:32 AM
1

Don't listen to people who hate on religion as if it were some monolithic belief system. These people generally have done little personal spiritual exploration and they base their opinions off of hateful caricatures of faith they've formed from cursory interactions with people. They don't understand the thing they are criticizing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:46 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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