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snackerfark Archive

View 0 posts and 62 comments by snackerfark on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Neurotypical people, obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 09:21 PM
1

I’m in my early 30’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:03 AM
1

Hey, female intrasexual competition is a thing. There are usually enough posts about this sort of thing on the dating subreddits to confirm it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:03 AM
2

Yes, simping is pretty reprehensible behavior, and doubly so when it’s done via social media. Fantasizing is escapism, after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:33 PM
2

I used my Instagram account to keep up with friends and hobbies, never as a tool of any romantic kind. I wouldn’t say that I have a ‘type’ in that sense but rather physical and mental attributes that are attractive. Choosing one (usually physical) pedestalizing it by following a person or account isn’t healthy behavior. And while men deservedly get flak for this, I do think women do it as well. Whenever I tell women that I only have a phone number and no social media accounts, they sometimes tre…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:24 PM
3

I don’t have any social media, actually, and I’ve met a few guys who don’t, either. Hilariously, it’s seen as a red flag by some women I’ve spoken to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:17 PM
1

Ehhhh, I think we're well-enough out of the pandemic to have resumed in-person interaction without that hanging over our heads, unless you're an immunocompromised person.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 04:43 PM
7

Risk mitigation, desperation, superficiality, and laziness, to name a few reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 10:16 AM
2

I think a lot more can be done to prepare boys with the proper social skills to operate in this sort of world now, because I don’t see it changing anytime soon unless there’s a drastic shift in societal thinking. We men will rarely get the benefit of the doubt or the benefit of true empathy for what we go through. What I’ve done in the meantime is to try and shift my thinking when I go out. I don’t make it a goal to meet people and try to connect anymore, as hard as it is. Instead I go out to pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 09:05 AM
8

Eh, not always. When I was on the apps, I would only swipe on profiles that intrigued me in more ways than one - especially when it came to similar interests. Guess how many dates I got? You can’t be picky on apps as a guy when you have nothing to be picky about in the first place. And especially when other guys are casting wider nets for matches and when, it turns out, your image and aura are what bring people in. These apps are inherently superficial.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 06:13 AM
12

Life can get cold pretty quickly as a man if you don't have a sense of belonging.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 08:45 AM
33

Imagine that you rock up to a mixer or some sort of social event by yourself. You don’t know anyone but would ideally like to meet people. Now imagine doing it as a guy. If you’re by yourself, people’s perceptions of you will be vastly different compared to if you’re a woman. Even without saying anything, your body language, appearance, and other physical factors exert influences over how others perceive you and are willing to interact with you. You have to show enough proof in such a social set…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 06:50 AM
26

Yup. Social proof is a biiiiiiiiiitch. I recently moved to a new city and have had a diabolical time trying to make friends here.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 06:23 AM
2

Oh, I get that – it's why I pointed out how it does spiral out of control. And as someone who doesn't do casual sex, I know the feeling of being used as well. But it's hard to get most men who are starved of attention completely to sympathize with that viewpoint, much like how it is with online dating. And as I said, certainly there are some women who enjoy hookup culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 05:45 PM
1

I think what he means is that an average woman being 'single' still can access support networks of friends and potential sexual partners compared to an average single man. It might be true that some women don't enjoy hookups, but some most certainly do. And even beyond that, what I think is generally missing from these conversations is the feeling of being valued or wanted. I can imagine that for some women it spirals out of control at times. But men don't really experience that same feeling of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 05:25 PM
2

I'd rather not live in a culture that indulges people's neuroses.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 08:26 AM
2

So happy I don’t live in the U.S. anymore. I know people who think this way, and it drives me up the fucking wall.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 10:55 PM
–

A penis study by PNAS. The jokes write themselves sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:33 PM
7

Precisely. There's genuine ignorance and willful ignorance.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 03:44 PM
1

It's probably a good sign for me to step back from this subreddit if a portion of commenters see people like me in this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 04:44 PM
1

As someone of Middle Eastern descent, this is a weird and pretty sad comment section.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 04:06 PM
22

Unless it's a social environment oriented towards meeting strangers, which has become very niche nowadays, public spaces and settings have become essentially privatized and constrained – either because of the spaces themselves or because of how people choose to interact within them. Do you often see strangers going to coffee shops or bars to meet people, or at least to be open to it? Rarely does it happen anymore. We've transitioned to a world where it's become more or less taboo to cold approac…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/24 05:39 PM
2

For sure. I kinda had to do the work to find a mode of therapy that was best suited to help me out. I'm not 100% where I want to be but am so glad that I made the choice to get help and become more aware of my condition. I think if more resources and money were invested into countering socialized male alexithymia, men would be a lot better off compared to right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 04:15 PM
3

True, but I think it ultimately depends on both parties, what they're comfortable with, and what the end goal really is. I think for most men, therapy is imagined as a doctor-patient relationship rather than one that's open to collaboration and flexibility. Perhaps it's why they feel more at ease in environments where the main focus isn't to sit and "pathologize" immediately but to focus on something else and THEN speak about their problems. Stuff like men's sheds, I think, get to the root of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 03:58 PM
3

Sure. I have CPTSD, and traditional talk therapies are not so good at addressing my symptoms from having flashbacks to my trauma. Since those traumatic memories are usually hard to process (from things like physical, emotional, or sexual abuse), the body's responses get stuck in a sort of feedback loop that takes a toll on one's physiology. I've done EMDR before, which works to re-expose patients to those original memories and process the feelings that they caused in the first place. The differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 03:53 PM
5

I've been in and out of therapy for several years to treat my condition, so here are a few thoughts and reflections from my experiences. For men, traditional modes of general talk therapy are usually temporary fixes to what can be deeper-rooted issues based in things like negative feedback loops, traumatic events, etc. It's where the old adage of "Women talk face to face, men talk shoulder to shoulder" probably comes from. Actualization, I think is a key component of men forming a sense of purpo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 03:44 PM
2

A lot of those filters do already exist; they're just hidden behind paywalls.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 04:55 PM
–

I think this is a large part of it. For economically or socially disadvantaged guys, they're being locked out of the typical rituals that marked the end of adolescence and the beginning of adulthood. Call it postsecondary studies or a first relationship. When they can't or don't want to pass these checkpoints, society is more than happy to leave them behind on the basis of a supposed meritocracy without realizing that they've raised them using an obsolete social model.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 05:09 PM
–

Activities by themselves are not addictive by nature, but it's how they affect a person's neurobiology that they become addictive. And you're correct – a person's neural makeup and development from a younger age can have drastic effects on how susceptible they are to addiction. Trauma and addiction, in one sense, displays a pretty clear causative link. When people feel unsafe or unwanted, for example, then turning to an easy risk-reward activity like porn and masturbation can appear as an easy w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 11:52 AM
–

The emotional connection of sex can be very important for guys - the feeling of desire and being desired by your partner. For men who suffer from touch starvation, too, physical stimulation can be overwhelming – a lot like a starving person sitting down at a buffet. In those instances, proximity to another person and being present with them can be a wonderful feeling without any need to fit "sex" into a specific box. Going off of some of your other comments here, hugs and kisses really aren't en…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/24 11:40 AM
3

Hurt people hurt people. I'm sorry you went through that. And I won't lie, as a childhood trauma survivor myself, my past has held me back from a ton of potential relationships because of my own insecurities. It's a shitty situation to be in.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 12:00 PM
–

What makes you think that "settling down" and the hedonistic treadmill are mutually exclusive things? The desires for the next shiny object and new experience don't dissipate when people enter into a relationship. Social media (Reddit included) provides a ton of confirmation bias in this sense because it is based entirely on experiential, anecdotal content. We can't share anything without it having some sort of tie to what we're experiencing or what others are experiencing. That creates a feedba…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/24 11:50 AM
1

Right. There's never a natural moment or period in a man's life where he's encouraged to reflect and think about who he is and how he defines his sense of masculinity. Granted, I don't think we live in a culture that values that introspection much (anymore). But men end up responding to what they think is calling them and where they think they are needed or can prove/provide. If they feel inadequate, the obvious question is not "Why?" but "How?" It's a situation set up to fail. Once you split of…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 07:59 PM
1

I took some time to think about your responses, and here are some thoughts: There are so many ways to be a woman and that’s only possible because the constraints of “a woman’s role” and the definition of femininity has been thrown out the window. If men want the same freedom they should do the same. I don’t understand how some men can say that women have insane expectations and then ask for more expectations. I think the issue isn't that men want more expectations but rather that they feel caugh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/24 06:27 PM
4

Marginalized and disadvantaged kids for certain; those who grow up in adverse childhood circumstances or those who are discriminated against along racial, gender, or other lines.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 01:44 PM
5

To extrapolate this from a male perspective, having shit mental health means that it is naturally difficult to find the language or the means to heal or improve socially. There aren't many public spaces or forums to talk about depression or anxiety in real life, so guys will turn to the Internet in order to find others that share their experiences or problems. In a way, the Internet has been a sort of surrogate parent since I was a depressed teenager because I could both find people to relate wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/24 01:40 PM
1

Upvoted for the Macbeth reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/24 08:57 PM
2

I agree that men should find a greater purpose than romantic relationships, but that's like asking a blind man to find water in a desert. It's good and pithy advice to share on the Internet, but the reality is starkly different. The social pressures for men to succeed in professional and personal relationships has and still is immensely high – the difference now is the perceived inequalities and insecurities that many men have in actualizing those things. There needs to be a playbook of masculin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/24 09:47 AM
7

The good news is that such worldviews can change; our brains don't really mature until we're in our mid-to-late 20's, and neural plasticity is a thing as well. But I do think there needs to be at least some sort of initiative to help boys and men who are struggling in life organized at the institutional or governmental level; we can't just rely upon Hollywood or pop culture to provide icons to look up to, there have to be real-life, attainable examples. If, for example, women in STEM has been ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 09:03 PM
10

By and large young men have indeed been left to navigate this confusing gender role landscape on their own, and that was immensely short-sighted on behalf of the prevailing pop liberal feminism behind it. Which is not a surprise. I'll staunchly maintain my position that this brand of feminism doesn't have the best interests of women in mind, ultimately, but the best interests of whatever-the-fuck-kind-of-capitalism we live under that really lies at the root of many of the issues popping up now. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:51 PM
13

It's really where the polychrome in my flair comes through; I can see it from all angles. We shouldn't go back to a point where women lose those rights, but something has to give for RP men, and right now there's no counter to what they're buying. That's what has to change in order to move forward; otherwise, they'll keep drinking the Kool-Aid. And what's the incentive in that? A bunch of pissed-off dudes is great for business. As someone who's had zero relationship success in this era, it's obs…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:42 PM
14

I don't think they will, either. Understandably, I think many feminists are afraid in this current climate, especially with things like the Roe vs. Wade repeal, of surrendering any perceivably-hard-won gains made over the last few decades. But I feel that zero-sum perception of gender equality in a way is what's gotten us to this point, as well. You win or you lose. It does feel like a paradox.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:20 PM
1

Would you like fries with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/24 08:16 PM
102

Not wanting any children or anything to do with raising children is a perfectly reasonable standard for guys as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/24 08:56 PM
2

Emotional masking is the obvious one – hiding our true feelings about something or someone for the sake of being socially accepted. If a boy falls off a bicycle and starts crying, hardly ever is he allowed to feel sad – he's eventually expected to man up, get up, brush himself off, and get back on the bicycle. It socializes boys and men to fear those sorts of emotions rather than identifying and understanding them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 09:43 AM
2

You do know that it is possible to take such suggestions to heart and still fail on the apps, right? For a variety of reasons, success is not guaranteed. Add the gender ratios and you can only guess as to why many become jaded after a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 03:47 PM
5

This is a good post. I would also say that men are socialized to mask, but in a very different way to what you described.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 03:43 PM
1

Without getting too personal, I grew up without any male figures or role models in my life other than the ones I'd see on TV. I never quite had "the talk" about relationships, sex, how to "be a man", or anything like that. So naturally talking about those things or having someone to talk to in order to regulate my emotions didn't really exist. I had to figure out a lot of this on my own. I ended up instilling a lot of expectations about what I thought my gender identity was instead of having a f…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:59 PM
1

Yeah, I agree that Internet culture plus the decline of communal spaces in the real world definitely contribute a fair bit to the issue. It's quite frightening and sad to see many people form their worldviews based on what they see online or on any sort of screen. Seeing men and women snipe at each other on spaces like this is a bit amusing but mostly depressing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:45 PM
2

What can I say, I'm a learner at heart. But I think if you really dig into gender studies, especially when it's from an unknown or unique perspective, it shows you that there's more than one way to both frame the issue of gender and approach it. I've been interested in different cultures and social practices for a while. Part of it too comes from my experiences growing up as a minority and as part of a group whose women were often seen as marginalized and oppressed, and I guess I naturally becam…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:38 PM
1

Absolutely. I don't agree with any red pill viewpoints, but I definitely understand and can see where they come from and why young men and boys adopt them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:35 PM
1

Yes, it's scary to try any conversation that goes against the grain around these types because of the spaces they create. Dissent isn't tolerated. I think a lot of supposed cross-gender sniping would be eliminated and people's positions softened if there was a lot more understanding and empathy fostered.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 04:34 PM
10

While I'm not there, I can totally understand how that's one possible trajectory. I consider myself fortunate that I've had enough of an education in feminism to understand that the popular version of it is not the only game in town, and there are plenty of other voices that do understand how men struggle in such a society, Western or otherwise. The echo chambers on the Internet and in similar real-life spaces, though, for many extremist views do nothing to really promote these alternatives, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 05:16 PM
4

Yes, that's the perfect metaphor for it and one I come back to often. I'm in no position to help others if I can't first help myself. I appreciate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 05:14 PM
15

I used to be an active ally for feminists for some time as a leftist, which mainly saw me promoting women's voices in social environments, group settings, clubs, organizations, and other types of collectives especially as a student. I'd taken courses on feminism in combination with my studies to better educate myself on women's struggles especially in the late 20th-century, both in the West and in the Middle East. This mainly meant that I tried to understand what "male privilege" and my masculin…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 04:37 PM
5

This is true, they have some pretty robust social programs meant for newcomers to integrate and become functional members of society. They've taken a pretty recent hard turn though towards both an anti-immigration stance with their current ruling party but also a more forceful set of policies towards integrating foreigners and second-generation people. The New York Times ran a piece about this concerning housing recently if you're interested. I'm generally not a fan of this type of policy, as it…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 05:40 PM
3

I think this is where proper integration or educational protocols can do a lot to improve this. That doesn’t mean just plopping down a bunch of these kids in a classroom and drilling them to death, but something beyond that, which makes them encouraged to learn and adapt with a seat at the table. I myself am a second-generation person who didn’t face practical issues like this, but I’ve worked with refugee students before as a teacher. And they are often left to their own devices when it comes t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 03:30 PM
4

Yeah, not gonna lie - as an immigrant myself I’m kind of nervous about the whole affair.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 03:25 PM
8

IIRC the issue is mainly around second-generation Swedes: those who were born in the country to foreign parents, who still speak the language and grow up in the country, but struggle with their identities, social acceptance, and belonging, and who thus turn towards various outlets of radicalized violence, be it gang or terrorism-related. We see similar issues as well in other European countries such as France, Belgium, and Germany.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 03:19 PM
3

Given the current climate concerning immigration here in Europe, I doubt that this will happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 03:14 PM
1

Thank you for saying this. It never insults me when it has happened, of course, but it has deliberately made me feel hurt for my choices before.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 10:08 AM
2

I think the disappointment and resentment runs both ways across both genders – people just have different ways of showing it. As a guy, I've turned down women before and have had those relationships or interactions slowly burn out on occasion.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 10:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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