sodabrothel Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
8	How much do your dating options diminish/increase as you get older? For both men and women If this were true, how would you explain sugar dating? Even pretty good-looking 40- or 50-year-old men are literally paying young women to pretend to be their girlfriends. This is a thing that happens pretty often in modern American culture. Why would they have to do this if young women were lining up to date much-older men? If they truly had the “pick of the litter,” why would they have to pay? Spoiler: there’s a market for “sugar babies” because if you’re 23 and good-looking with your whole li…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/05/20 04:46 PM
0	Its perfectly reasonable not to date someone because of their past So you’re arguing that it’s reasonable and sensible and a good predictor of how a relationship will play out. I provided a counterargument of why it’s not a good metric. That was the point of your post. You just admitted it. So please explain how I “missed the point” by rebutting your argument on a debate subreddit. Is it because I don’t agree with you and addressed the actual argument you’re trying to make instead of strawman virtue signaling about how people deserve not to be forced to date pe…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/03/20 05:49 AM
1	Its perfectly reasonable not to date someone because of their past Strawman. It’s “valid” to use any criteria in your preference for a partner. That’s a non-argument. The entire point of dating is discrimination. The point you’re arguing seems to be not whether it’s valid for people to make autonomous dating choices, but whether it’s a good idea to exclude people on this basis or whether it’s a wise decision, because you’re not talking about people’s right to date whomever they want, but rather, you’ve given several paragraphs of arguments as to why people with…	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/03/20 12:22 AM
0	Its perfectly reasonable not to date someone because of their past The biggest flaw in your argument is that you’re assuming that whatever problems people had with their relationships or the way they relate to people which caused their unions to fail or led to them having a lot of partners are static, unchangeable, and persist throughout life. Lifelong N-count isn’t a good metric for current personality or suitability for a relationship. And this isn’t just a bleeding-heart “everyone deserves a second chance” platitude. Personality changes throughout adulthood …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/03/20 09:49 PM
1	Women make terrible dating choices out of lust, just like men Total strawman; power is obviously more nuanced than parent/child dynamics, this is a black-and-white misrepresentation of what I was saying	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/03/20 01:01 PM
8	Women make terrible dating choices out of lust, just like men I think picking partners you’re not compatible with because the chemistry’s on point is definitely a unisex issue, but I think the motivation behind it tends to be different. A lot of times, women stay with men who are bad for them because there’s a power imbalance. A woman trapped in a bad situation might not leave because she assumes (falsely or perhaps correctly) that she can’t or won’t survive leaving this dude or can’t get by without him. He makes her feel worthless and she starts to believ…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/03/20 03:32 PM
3	How does a man wanting to split the bill have anything to do with respect for women? FDS and TRP are both defense mechanisms for fucked-up people who are too freaked out to be relationship material. These people need therapy, not whatever garbage these subs are spewing. Falling in true, meaningful love requires risk and vulnerability. You have to give others the benefit of the doubt, not relate to them as an inherent threat, and take at least some chance that you will be hurt, used, or rejected if you really want to open your heart to someone else. Power is an aspect of love, bu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/02/20 09:23 PM
0	Is height the most important attribute for male attractiveness? Sounds like you’re using women’s feelings about male height as a proxy for whatever deeper insecurity with intimacy you’re dealing with. This isn’t reasonable. Recent research actually suggests that short men divorce at lower rates than tall men. Being short is a disadvantage in the dating market, sure, but there’s no evidence to suggest being a 5’7” man is a death sentence for dying alone. I guess in line with TRP mentality, it’s easier to project than to actually face your own fears. I don’t w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/01/20 09:38 PM
1	Is height the most important attribute for male attractiveness? Dude, I’m sorry you’re short, but this is referring to initial partner selection. Preferring taller men is worlds away from divorcing a dedicated husband the second any remotely interested tree person comes along. You’re catastrophizing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/01/20 03:08 PM
2	"Porn featuring violence against women is far more popular among women than men. The rate at which women watch violent porn is roughly the same in every part of the world. It isn’t correlated with how women are treated." Uh, inherent sex differences/redpill evo psych explanations of sexual behavior are almost entirely theory-based. It’s not like anyone has pinpointed specific genes on the X chromosome predisposing women to masochism. Meanwhile, the science of human learning, somatic memory, and stress/trauma is based in extensive MRI studies and stress reactivity psychobiology. Is sexology theory? Yeah, but it has a biological basis. Alternative theories — that inherent biological male/female sex differences or …	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/01/20 12:50 AM
3	Is height the most important attribute for male attractiveness? I am 5’7”, female, and yes, I care about this. A lot of women won’t admit to this probably as a reaction to men getting so mad about it, but I do think it is probably the single most important attribute for male physical attractiveness. Is it the only thing that matters? No. Is not being tall a deal breaker? No. Is it more important to me than personality compatibility and being an emotionally healthy partner? No. Is it a factor? Yeah, it is. Sorry. I’d take 5’9” with a nice face over 6’2” with …	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/01/20 10:10 PM
0	"Porn featuring violence against women is far more popular among women than men. The rate at which women watch violent porn is roughly the same in every part of the world. It isn’t correlated with how women are treated." Thanks! :) I’m an academic in the behavioral sciences and getting more into sex research lately, so this was fun to write.	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/01/20 09:47 PM
2	"Porn featuring violence against women is far more popular among women than men. The rate at which women watch violent porn is roughly the same in every part of the world. It isn’t correlated with how women are treated." Regarding women consuming proportionally more violent porn: this isn’t surprising, but let’s not be lazy with the analysis. Many sexologists think one reason people are aroused by kink is that it gives them a sense of control over what once was uncontrollable. It’s not as simple as self-loathing, “they secretly liked it,” or even “they’re trying to retraumatize themselves.” Does biology have something to do with it? Like, sure, maybe. But it’s probably more useful to examine the social structure…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/01/20 06:36 PM
1	A fuckboy is not low value Hi. Researcher in the social sciences here. The entire concept of value here applies to the dating market. To be “high-value” is to make a good partner, and to effectively define this, we need to take into account everything it means to be a human trying to find a mate. We are mammals with emotions manipulating us to fuck and base instincts for attractiveness which control how much we want to do that, but we also have the capacity for higher reasoning and the pursuit of long-term happiness and a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/12/19 07:13 PM
11	THE WALL! I think “the wall” is no longer a relevant concept in a world where half of American young people are unpartnered. I think this is a relic from a world where being married with a couple of kids by 30 was the standard, and you were a weirdo who lost the game of musical chairs and were doomed to spinsterdom if you didn’t. Western dating culture has dramatically changed in the last 50 years, and the data also just don’t support this. People partner up at all stages of life — people in their 30s, 40…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/10/19 02:26 PM
1	Do you care about the intelligence of your partners? It’s probably the most important thing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/10/19 12:09 AM
0	What does phrase “Women are the gatekeepers of sex” even mean? Whenever I hear someone say this (it’s always a man) I can’t help but think that maybe if he didn’t jackhammer his girl for 30 seconds, lick her twice like a dog lapping up peanut butter, then ask, “did you come, babe?” and call it a night, she might not feel the need to “gatekeep” how much sex they’re having. Women are plenty interested in good (read: better than a night at home with the Hitachi) sex. It’s just generally harder to come by for women than for men.	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/09/19 12:38 AM
5	Lacking Emparthy Towards Men Yep, hitting someone over the head with a crowbar is different from hitting someone over the head with a tube of wrapping paper.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/07/19 02:54 AM
10	CMV: False rape accusations may be extremely common and we would have no idea of knowing. Uh, I’m not trying to be a dick, but did you read this? Because I just did. This review doesn’t show that men are raped at equivalent rates to women. It shows that it’s more common than most people think. Even when taking a broader definition of rape into account (forced penetration and being forced to penetrate), the lifetime rate of male rape (6.7%) was higher than expected but still a fraction of the female rate (19.3%). Women may make false accusations at higher rates, but they’re also raped…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/19 03:10 PM
6	CMV: False rape accusations may be extremely common and we would have no idea of knowing. Yes, I’ve talked to real men who have been raped and sexually abused at various walks of life. It’s horrible and there is no excuse for disrespecting someone’s bodily autonomy. “Men are raped at equal rates as women... most male victims of rape are raped by women” You’re going to need sources for that, because I’m pretty sure neither are true. I assume it’s something that disproportionately affects women because that’s what the evidence I have indicates. The fact that false rape accusations exis…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/19 02:31 PM
16	CMV: False rape accusations may be extremely common and we would have no idea of knowing. I think people see women going on TV to talk about their assault and being praised and think this is how it is for “regular” people. Then they see keyboard warriors virtue signaling over sexual assault survivors and think this, too, is the default response when rape is not some abstract thing you rave about for Internet validation, but a person you know in front of you telling you that another person you know hurt them. They think you’re given the star treatment and are coddled. People who alrea…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/19 01:34 PM
3	Do TRP men suffer from mental illness? I don’t know if attachment insecurity and mommy issues count as a mental illness, but if so, yes.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/19 02:44 AM
1	Is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics? Probably lots of reasons. People don’t think it’s going to happen to them or their kid, kinda like how people don’t think heart disease is going to happen to them as they fill up their plate with seconds or thirds and go years without exercising. Plenty of people don’t even seem to seriously believe they’re going to die one day. Caution is thrown to the wind. Baby boomers are generally not as concerned with or cognizant of sexual assault as millennials and Gen Z are, in general. Many of them pro…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/19 01:37 AM
2	Emotional propensities, let's talk about it! Oh yeah, that for sure. Now you’ve got me thinking: what do you think might be a non-social reason why girls are more likely to form cliques, start rumors, etc. while boys are more likely to just beat up kids they don’t like?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 10:50 PM
3	Emotional propensities, let's talk about it! Well, just about nothing is 100% social conditioning. I worded that poorly. There’s always some genetic component. But the lion’s share of it is, I’d bet. Interestingly, aggression in kids isn’t higher in boys IIRC. Overt aggression is. Girls top boys by far in rates of relational, “sneaky” or passive aggression which is arguably the same emotion packaged in a gender-typical way. I’d bet the difference in expression is mostly conditioned, but it’s interesting to think about.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 10:48 PM
3	Emotional propensities, let's talk about it! Yeah, I like that about it too. I don’t think emotions are ever inherently masc or femme. I think the way people tend to express emotion differs a lot by gender, but I’m close to 100% sure that’s social conditioning. If men popped out inherently less emotional and/or better at emotion regulation than women, I would guess that baby boys would cry a lot less often, be less colicky, and be better able to self-soothe when upset or scared than baby girls. But they don’t and aren’t. Infant behavior is…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 10:40 PM
3	Emotional propensities, let's talk about it! Oddly, I haven’t seen this wheel before. I’m actually in the field of psychiatric research. I do really like it and might use it in my work in the future. Thanks! TRP doesn’t necessarily ignore emotions altogether; I would say it totally ignores the role higher human reasoning plays in more nuanced emotional expression and attributes everything anyone ever feels to a really narrow, black-and-white, and gendered human survival instinct. There are definitely some serious attempts to use baseless e…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 10:29 PM
2	Is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics? I don’t think 25% is incorrect if you include “gray area” situations like coercion or one party being much more intoxicated than the other. Definitely closer to that than whatever 1 in 40 number Christina Hoffmann Summers (sp?) purports. Is it common knowledge that most rapes are acquaintance or intimate partner rapes and not “stranger in the bushes” situations? I would guess that it is, so I don’t know why that statistic would increase vigilance with strange men, might just make women more like…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 07:22 PM
3	Is your fear of men analytical and based on statistics? It’s intuitive and also analytical. I don’t think you can separate the two. I am more scared in situations where danger is objectively higher (e.g., large man who is following me closely in the dark vs. small man with another woman sitting across from me in a waiting room in the middle of the day). If I am alone and see a man nearby, I find myself doing a quick danger assessment — what’s his body language like? Is he minding his own business, or does he seem like he’s staring at me? Is he follow…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 06:49 PM
1	Are ‘backups’ really as common as I’m being led to believe? Yep, I’d agree with that at least at the start of a relationship and I think it’s more a product of the men hoping it’ll end than the woman encouraging them to stick around. Plenty of women would set boundaries if they were overtly flirtatious, but admittedly not all, although the reason may be more a product of hesitation to anger a man than enjoying the attention. After maybe the one-year mark I’d say orbiters give up and this drops off. Edit: do you think it’s unique to women?	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/19 02:46 PM
15	How good are you actually at spotting red flags, vetting, reading people, and leaving bad situations? I think the way people in general are treated while they are growing up conditions them to be attracted to similar patterns and qualities as adults in sexual relationships. It’s not a blanket thing. The way your caretaker(s) relate to you are the first-ever models you have for what close relationships are supposed to look like. They serve as the primary source for meeting all of your basic needs until you’re at least 10, arguably older — so even if your parents were pretty bad, some part of you …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/19 10:05 PM
7	Are ‘backups’ really as common as I’m being led to believe? I think “backups” are common in people who are insecurely attached and terrified of being alone or abandoned, and anxious attachment is more common in women than men. I don’t think it’s anything innate that can be explained by evolutionary psychology; I think it’s conditioned insecurity that may be more common in women for social reasons, and I think women “spin plates” for different reasons than men do also for social reasons (fear of being alone vs trying to create emotional distance). I know …	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/19 09:52 PM
1	[CMV] For men, having "a look" is equally as important and perhaps more important than being fit or "good" looking. The Venn diagram of women who are highly attracted to the archetypal “Chad” with Dark Triad features who is mean to them, and women who have a lot of casual sex for male validation, is practically a circle. This, I think, is TRP’s fatal flaw. The strategies are probably good for attracting an insecure, emotionally-damaged woman who will easily agree to meaningless self-loathing sex with you, or who lacks the self-respect to assert or even subconsciously want autonomy in a relationship. But these…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/19 06:51 PM
1	CMV: For men, worthwhile relationships exist but they are so rare that actively looking for one is NOT worth the effort. There’s something to be said for practicality, pragmatism, and not chasing temporary highs, but we are animals and not machines; arguably, emotions are what give our lives meaning. You seem to be considering long-term quality of life outcomes, but doing so from a misguided angle. There’s pretty solid scientific evidence that a long-term, emotionally intelligent, happy romantic partnership significantly improves quality of life for people of both sexes — John Gottman has done a lot of work on thi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/07/19 02:58 PM