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soggycephalopod Archive

View 0 posts and 68 comments by soggycephalopod on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Sounds like a lot of those things are the type of work a person would seek because they're interesting and exciting too. Not that all 9-5 work is boring, but I wouldn't want to settle with someone boring just because their work schedule is more consistent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 09:41 PM
0

I want to desire someone and be desired by someone, but I don't want to be manipulated into desiring someone. Is "seduction" really even necessary when there's mutual desire? Who's seducing who, and who's getting seduced? And, why is "efficiency" important? What does that have to do with passion and desire? Love isn't necessarily efficient.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 11:44 PM
0

I don't feel like I'd ever want to be "seduced." I want to be desired and if someone works really hard to express that it could come off very similar to seduction, but the word "seduction" sounds like manipulation to me. That said, I've definitely seduced other people, and sometimes in service of authentic desire, so it would be a bit hypocritical to be too critical of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 07:10 PM
4

As much as the phrase "running game" makes me cringe, the things you're describing all sounds really healthy. It's when people get stuck on the Chads and Stacies, AF/BB, etc that gets me. All that stuff feels like a cult designed to increase low self esteem and us vs them mentality between the sexes. Learning good communication skills, taking care of yourself, and overall good metal health are great goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 04:23 PM
6

If you really are all those things, then how are you "gaming" her? Sounds like you're just being a secret asshole, and the bizarre irony is that it doesn't even sound like you have any reason to be that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/19 03:29 PM
1

I just went there to see the post. I didn't find it, but I ran across one that was reposted from /r/teenagers. This was the caption and then a pic of her friend: ​ My friend has super bad self-esteem and she says she's ugly, which she's not. I would tag her but idk her u/, but yes, I did ask for consent before posting this so please show her some love and tell her that's she's pretty, because she really is, even though she can't see it. The comments are basically just railing on the friend. Yuck…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/19 04:56 PM
1

I get being frustrated. Dating is a minefield of frustration--you might be so shy that you won't even talk to anyone in the first place, or you might only attract people who aren't your type. I think a lot of people experience frustration in the dating world. I know I did--I hate the idea of dating. Being frustrated isn't an excuse to insult people or treat them badly, though. Own your frustration, though. Don't make it someone else's fault. ​ How do you know they're "turning it off"? Imagine a …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/19 04:07 PM
1

That's reasonable. I was thinking more of the type of people who are on /r/niceguys who use "nice" as a strategy and then turn it off when it doesn't work. If someone was actually nice, then of course they might get frustrated or hurt when their affection isn't reciprocated, but underneath it all they would still be a kind person. I do feel for people who are trying to be kind and striking out. Attraction is different for everyone, but despite what some people are saying here, being a kind perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/19 11:35 PM
1

Admitting that women can have power over men by virtue of being women and that the intergender dynamics aren't even remotely as lopsided as feminist theory says they are. Not sure how to quantify how "lopsided" they are, but they're definitely lopsided. Women were basically property in not-to-distant history. They're still treated like property in some parts of the world, and more or less subjugated in various subcultures. Women in the US couldn't vote until 1920. Female "firsts" are still happe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/19 03:55 PM
3

A lot of those things do matter, but why not just stick with what matters instead of n-count? This is how I see it... If I was measured on n-count, what assumption are being formed based on that? What am I actually being judged on? If my n-count is low, am I being viewed as the virgin saint? I know I'm not a virgin saint, so it's only a matter of time until either that illusion gets destroyed, or worse yet, the relationship turns controlling and he tries to shame me into his "good girl" image. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/19 04:06 AM
3

What do you think you're assessing with n-count? If someone is under or over your magic number, what do you think that tells you about them? I think it's the same for guys, but I'm more interested in your answer to my question.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/19 01:15 AM
3

They might, or they might not. The things that you would use sexual history to determine, like impulsivity, loyalty, etc, can better be assessed directly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/19 12:49 AM
2

Nothing that can't be better assessed directly.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/19 11:15 PM
4

Some standards have a direct correlation to personality and relationship quality and some are really just insecurity thinly veiled as rationality. No woman wants to be measured based on his insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/19 10:59 PM
3

I'd be interested to see a study that draws a direct connection between oxytocin resistance and LTR failure. Have you ever seen one?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/19 10:56 PM
3

Talk about an absurd strawman. I don't know if I agree with /u/wtknight, but it wasn't really that hard to understand what was being said.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/19 10:53 PM
1

This doesn't sound normal at all. I've lived all over the western world and never observed women groping and hitting men as an acceptable or common practice. I'm not trying to invalidate you--I obviously wasn't there, but that's definitely not normal behavior. I can see this happening as a trauma response, but even then a normal person would apologize once they realized what happened. Is this in high school? I'm curious (roughly) where you live that even the friends supported that kind of behavi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/19 04:25 PM
1

To your point, most things aren't in your control. There are limits to how much stronger and smarter you can become, or how much you can change your personality or physical appearance. The point of internal locus of control isn't to control the uncontrollable, but to take ownership for what you can control. You can't control your height, but you can control how you respond to it. Even what you just said--"proof that women prefer taller men"... "how I actually am [is] based upon how the outside w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/19 05:03 AM
1

I can think of a bunch of reasons for this, none of which are money... Self-sufficiency is about so much more than money. Are you responsible, confident, competent at something, can take care of yourself, etc? These are all attractive traits. These are alpha traits. The idea you have of "genuine sexual desire" is a farce--personality creates sexual desire, and a physical attractive loser is still a loser. You don't really, fully develop these things until you've had some time to settle into adul…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/19 06:53 PM
1

If she's in a relationship with you, she chose you over him. You're the guy who got the girl. That doesn't make you a chump or a cuck. ​ I think single mothers should try to get the biological father to come back home. That's a wholesome, family-oriented perspective, but there are a lot of different reasons relationships break up. It's not always possible, or even a good idea to try to force a relationship that doesn't work. It could be abusive, or a drug/alcohol problem, or the father could be …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 11:07 PM
1

Raising a child, loving them, and being part of their life makes you a parent. This can happen with a non-biological child too.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 10:48 PM
1

Fair enough--if you don't want to be part of a child's life the child is probably better off not being involved with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 10:38 PM
1

Reddit houses all sorts of controversial opinions. As long as they're not actively inciting harm, I think it's stupid and oppressive to censor people. I don't know the history or the reasoning, though--maybe there is a direct link to real-world harm. *shrug*
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 02:47 AM
3

Wow, wtf.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 02:11 AM
8

This is possible, but I think you're grossly misrepresenting how this works. You don't just get suddenly stuck with child support for someone else's child. From what I've read about it, this is when the child is raised, for all intents and purposes, as your own. From what I've read, if this is the case, you have a very strong case for visitation/parenting rights. "Danger" seems like a funny way to put it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 01:54 AM
5

Oh--you can probably ignore my other comment. I see you (sorta) addressed it here. Not sure where you're from, but that's not how it works in the US, and I doubt in most of the developed world. You don't have to pay child support for someone else's child just because you were involved with the mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 12:52 AM
5

Danger? Is opt-in parenting a danger?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 12:50 AM
6

I grew up in an almost exclusively white area, very poor, extremely high unemployment, and plenty of single mothers, and, unsurprisingly, the idea that race might have something to do with single motherhood never occurred to me. I guess it depends on where you're from.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/19 12:48 AM
1

I meant my argument too. By "has it ever clicked," I was asking if you've ever challenged this whole "n-count" concept, which it sounds like probably not...? Which part do you think is incorrect? Do you think n-count has some kind of universal meaning? If so, what?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 07:29 PM
2

Personally, I feel like they actively avoid sane normal women, but that's just my theory. Theres's some truth to this. Certain disorders are kind of the extreme of "bad guys or girls," and they're statistically a lot more likely to attract certain other disordered people. It's almost always a recipe for disaster, but it happens more than not. The only problem I really see with your perspective is that a lot of people classify themselves as "nice" or "good" not realizing that they're also boring.…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 06:51 PM
3

How did you decide that your height is a problem? Who's judgement are you basing that off? Why are you letting them define how you perceive yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 06:38 PM
1

Who told you that self-improvement = boring? It's often quite the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 06:35 PM
2

you keep grouping incel and mgtow together.. Different person than who you're discussing with, but you could just say "people that blame women for their own problems."
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 06:33 PM
5

mgtow is extreme internal locus of control You would think, but no. Go check out the sub for instance. Men who really go their own way just go ahead and do it. The ones that identify as MGTOW rarely actually shift focus onto themselves. They mostly use MGTOW as a platform to rant about women, which is a very much "you're the reason I'm unhappy." If MGTOW did what it purports to do, it would be a really good philosophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 06:32 PM
2

Completely agree, but based on your explanations I think a lot of people are going to misunderstand what it means to have an internal locus of control. It's not necessarily about internalizing the power or control over the things in your life--the truth is plenty of things are out of our control, and having an internal locus of control doesn't mean blaming yourself for these things. Having an internal locus of control means that we take ownership over our own positive sense of self. It means tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/19 04:28 PM
5

Your argument is that we should selectively ignore correlations because things are always correlated to other things. I didn’t miss your point, this is just a silly argument. My argument is that this emphasis on n-count is a misuse of the data. More than that, it's a thinly veiled facade of rationalism over insecurity. Insecurity is pretty well understand psychological dynamic and is a known cause of a lot of poor decision making. If you think it's fake or useless, it's worth revisiting that. If…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/19 11:16 PM
2

Has it ever clicked? A lot of CMVs are thinly veiled rants with no desire to actually consider anything outside of pre-existing opinions, but it's worth giving OP the benefit of doubt. Maybe OP actually does care to learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/19 07:46 PM
2

Sounds like you missed the point. To use your example, ice cream sales don't indicate a higher risk of shark attacks. If you mistakenly believe they do, you'll be going through life irrationally scared of ice cream. Ice cream sales could increase for any number of reasons, some of which don't correlate with sharks. If the goal is to avoid damaged women, then learn how to identify "damage." N-count may or may not indicate damage, and as per the example I offered, it could have a direct link to a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/19 07:37 PM
7

"N-count" is an error of correlation vs causation. N-count by itself doesn't tell you anything at all about the potential for the relationship or quality of your sex life. Is this person experienced or just had more sex? Does their experience help or harm your relationship? Are they impulsive? Do they have difficulty connecting with people or maintaining relationships? Do you have grossly mismatched sex drives? Does their history help them know themselves better? What you're missing is a deeper …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/19 06:00 PM
7

Anal is one of those things that hurts if done poorly and can be great if done well. It's likely that her first partner just messed up her perception of it. That said, there's probably nothing you can do about it. I know some people who won't eat certain (mainstream) foods because they threw up when they ate it as a kid. Our judgement is often a lot more emotional than we realize. Your job is to accept that it isn't personal and find other ways to rekindle your passion.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/19 03:46 PM
1

And people wonder why their problems follow them across relationships... :/
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 07:11 PM
1

The way you process and interpret the world isn't hardwired. Change is extremely hard, but people do it all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 03:03 PM
1

Why? Because it was implied that there was something wrong with sexual history. What's wrong with it?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 03:02 PM
2

Would you hold that same opinion after the virginal girl you desire ends up cheating on you? Fidelity is tangental to number of partners a person has. You can call the girl that sleeps around a whore if you want to, but if you're honest about it, there's nothing actually threatening about her sexual history. The real fear is either your failure to measure up, or your concern about her devotion. If it's the former, get therapy, and if it's the latter, choose your mate based on personality, like y…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/19 01:44 AM
10

But here's the difference: those promiscuous men are never seen as "marriage material". This is where I lost you. I don't think most women care about how many people you've slept with. They DO care if you're a player, but that's because of how you act and how you treat women more than your sexual history. Basically, women don't want a man-whore, because that type of person is highly likely to cheat, break your heart, and destroy your family. Sorta to your point, the dynamic is exactly the same w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/19 11:47 PM
1

Why? You should be able to list off some reasons your wife loves you, or at least reasons why you're lovable. Therapy isn't only for people who are broken--most people can benefit from it at some point in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/19 02:25 PM
1

It seems like you think you're playing some sort of gotcha where you insist that deep down guys know they are insecure losers and therefore that's why they struggle with women. That ^^^. If that's what was being said, that would have been rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/19 02:02 AM
5

Do you like you? Self-love is an actual legitimate important part of psychological health. If you don't know anything that appeals to you about you, then 1) you're most likely unaware of what you have to offer, and 2) you should probably work on that in therapy, journaling, etc. From someone who struggled with this myself, I'm stepping outside of the "debate" context of this to say that your life really will be a lot better for you if you explore this head on.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/19 04:58 PM
5

/u/Gravel_Roads wasn't being rude. Why not just answer the question? What appeals to you about you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/19 04:54 PM
7

No, it's saying that women don't give a shit about the things that men value. Is that actually true in any of the things men value, though? Some women like politics, some aim for corporate achievement and leadership. Some women like video games, some women like cars, some women like golf, fishing, porn. Some women are gym rats, some are book worms, some are hyper sexual and some not really all that sexual at all. Some women are highly into the female gender role, and some not at all. What thing …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/19 04:52 PM
1

What's your height cutoff for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/19 04:46 PM
2

Apologies for the "try again" comment. That was snarky and uncalled for. I've just dealt with way too much logical fallacy roulette, where people use random logical fallacies as a way to avoid engaging in substantive conversation. To your point, no, I'm not refusing to engage. OP's argument was based on an assumption. I thought this was pretty clearly expressed in the very first sentence: OP: "I think in most relationships..." Me: "I don't agree with what you think. Offer some evidence." Suddenl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/19 04:14 PM
2

Asking for evidence for a random opinion isn't a straw man. Try again if you'd like.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/19 03:23 PM
6

Does a penis somehow make a person frugal?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 04:21 PM
22

I think in most relationships, either casual or serious, the man gives more than what he receives in return. Men perform more labor, produce more romance, spend more money, and are more dependable, helpful, and in many ways, are more capable, than what most women are. ... and, you're basing that off of what? Your own anecdotal bad experiences in relationships? A few people you know, or maybe a biased sampling of celebrities? The problem with your argument is that there isn't one. I know of sever…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/19 04:16 PM
1

You'd be better off dealing with that in other ways. Alcohol and weed are both well known to contribute to ED. Lowering your inhibition only to end up having trouble is ultimately going to make your anxiety worse. At least take Viagra at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/19 01:17 AM
1

In OP's scenario there was either a major mismatch in libido or kinks that only one person was into. To your point, though, married sex is safer, cheaper, more accessible, and more intimate, so unless you have a problem it's definitely the better way to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 06:45 PM
6

Couldn't even finish nor get fully erect, and I had 2 shots and some good weed beforehand. Er... you do know that alcohol and weed make it worse, not better, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 06:38 PM
3

Not really... not the TV-like experience of today's "VR," but like Black Mirror level stuff, where it feels like you're actually there. The porn industry is going to change dramatically either based on high-quality sex robots or holideck-like VR. Just due to economy of scale, I'd bank on VR getting there first.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 06:33 PM
5

If it's legal, there's legislation and taxation around it, and it's unlikely to be cheap. Cheap prostitution is street prostitution that cuts out the middle man or where she just has a pimp, which is no longer legal or safe. I mean, she has to make a wage and there are other jobs out there, so it has to be worth it compared to more hygienic opportunities. IMO, the only way it'll ever be legal and cheap is if the government subsidizes it or does a kind of "blind eye" legalization where it's not t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 06:18 PM
1

Er... you think the wife/gf are fine with this and it's primarily the men's hangups that are the blocker here? I think the real issue is that even though sex drive is high, *most* men don't want to hurt their SO, and unless you're in an explicitly open relationship, cheating is hurtful.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/19 06:11 PM
1

I was about to argue with you then I read your second paragraph. You're absolutely right--not only do men get better with age, but women do too. Excepting a sports career, the 20s aren't really a sweet spot for either sex. Only someone in their 20s would think that. People learn better coping mechanisms, becomes better at managing their emotions, gain education/skills, become more comfortable/confident with themselves, become more established in their career, pay off early life debt, amass savin…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/19 10:03 PM
7

Do you mean "amoral," or are you actually trying to justify hurting people to get what you want? Assuming the former, TRP isn't amoral. Would you be misogynistic or misandristic towards a cat? Psychology is a very real part of our animal existence too. Sentiment is as real as DNA. If you hurt, just own your hurt. Own your emotions. Take responsibility for them. TRP'ers aren't going to get better through self-deceit or by projecting their suffering onto others. I'm not saying anything new here--t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/19 06:34 PM
30

Nobody hates men who want better dating options. Everyone should be able to find the love that they desire. Unfortunately, that's not actually what's going on with the RP movement. Most of it has turned into a misogynistic hate group. To your point, that doesn't mean everyone seeking it out is hateful at all. For those of you who aren't, I'm sorry that this is all you have available to you. You deserve a relationship struggles support group that isn't a cess pool of hate... in other words, an ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/19 04:27 PM
2

It wouldn't hurt to have bottomless disposable income, but I can't imagine not being self-sufficient in my own right. It's not about being provided for, but just being able to be my own self-contained adult. Maybe I'd feel differently if I didn't like my job.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/19 09:58 PM
1

Just finished Killing Eve. Can confirm.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/19 04:18 PM
0

Nope... it's just called a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/19 08:30 PM
3

A lot of "average" people are in relationships, and if they have an active sex life in their relationship, then practically speaking, they're probably having a lot more sex than even the most sexually active single people. I have no idea how accurate your numbers are, but no matter what they are, I think they're ignoring a common sexual dynamic that applies to a large percentage of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/19 03:04 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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