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somewhatpresent Archive

View 1 post and 15 comments by somewhatpresent on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

somewhatpresent/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 08:23 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Are you honest and upfront about seeking casual and getting it? Im in a large city (San Francisco) but can’t get any dates despite swiping and paying premium on every app for like 6 months. I think SF is tough market but it’s the kid that’s sinking me, I used to wait to disclose until convo and got some attractive matches that then freaked during disclosure. But if im upfront I get crickets. I visited Mexico City and it was insane how easy it was to get dates on apps I had more than I knew what …
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 10:36 PM
3

Yeah I'm 39M and in late 30s dating market, seemingly infinite women looking to "date with intention" (i.e theyre trying to get married and start a family soon), which I'm not even close to ready for, but effectively zero willing to date casually. So yeah sucks but I'd rather be lonely than in a serious relationship so soon after ending a 17 year LTR. But yeah in theory yuo just find women on the same page, in practice, huge amounts of beautiful women willing to date me seriously, zero willing t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 06:39 PM
1

I've had a little success in real life since separating (got laid once at a club thats now a situationship), but on dating apps it seems that ALL women are looking for something serious. I was getting matches but I said I was recently divorced so wanted to start slow / casual and 100% dropped off. It was also tons of stressful conversations of women giving me hard time cause they want to find a husband and I'm in their way (literally got long rants from some about it). I'm 39M btw. I got by far …
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/26 06:52 PM
1

Well I would feel zero shame about hiring help (I have a high paid job , was just between jobs) but if my coparent wants to do it why would I take my kid from her to be raised by stranger? Neither of us have any family nearby either. Everybody’s situation different but reddit also has huge sample bias. There’s zero dead beat dads here but Irl theyre all over.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 11:29 PM
1

Well for one ex moved an hour away so it was going to complicate things in terms of commute for me to do weekdays. For another thing, maybe Im too ADHD to be a great parent, I cant take meds for that because of side effects, but Im not good at the caretaking of a 4 year old. I think itll be easier when shes older. I was also unemployed in a tough job search plus just needed to get a new social life to be happy. Its an amicable divorce adn in our mediation agreemnet we agreed I have the option to…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 09:07 PM
3

Hanging out on this subreddit is making me realize how different everybody is. I didn't want the divorce, I was shocked she wanted it when she was so socially conservative and pushed for marriage/house/kids . We were together for 17 years. We have a daughter, a house, a dog, and in some ways working in the same industry even our careers were intertwined. But my situation is quite different than you because even though my ex-wife is gorgeous (told by MANY people she's out of my league), smart (gr…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 09:14 PM
8

I DID have a kid with my ex which makes me even less likely to want to start something serious with someone new . But I'm a bit older (38) so you can imagine the dating apps are like 99% women hoping for an LTR. But similarly to you, I didn't get to to do the things I wanted to do in my marriage. I love seeing music and dancing and she never wanted to go. Now I am doing that which is also a better place to meet women then the apps since you just dance and don't do these lame dates that feel like…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/26 06:19 PM
1

Thanks man ! Appreciate you taking the time to give a stranger feedback on challenging topic. The DJ was Jackie Hollander, it’s like techno / house that’s simultaneously the dark but very fun party vibes . Check out her Concourse mix on YT. I’m now her biggest fan. The stars aligned big time in how I ended up meeting the girl (arrived same time so the 15 minute wait in line to get in was key opportunity to build rapport with her before dancing with her) . And yeah I’ve been trying to rebuild a s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 12:58 AM
1

Yep agreed thanks
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:29 PM
1

Yeah I kinda figured this out already, second date with her I realized she wanted something more serious than I was ready for and ended it. Then next day I went to the club to see a DJ I liked and miraculously got laid with pretty girl. So I guess I’ll just go to more shows as at least it’s an avenue . But you know I was encouraged to join app by a woman who said maybe other women in similar situations. And even the girl I got laid with, she just got out of 8 year relationship so at club somehow…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:29 PM
1

Ya agreed I already ended things with new chick , thanks for thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:25 PM
2

Ya honestly I do see the argument. I think my solution is just to GO SLOW with everyone. I am thinking maybe I should set a 1x/max date week rule and also refuse exclusivity for at least a while. If that filters some out, oh well. What I a realizing is that I am HIGHLY desirable in the "long term partner" market but probably a lot less so in the hookup market. But I'm thinking, if I clearly state "looking for short term" on my profile, and they agree to go on date, that's on them if they're shoc…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 02:49 AM
1

thanks for thought
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 09:04 PM
2

ya Im probably looking for answers where there are none. Truthfully I'm more afraid of rushing into something new and feeling resentful I ONCE AGAIN missed the opportunity to be single than I am being hurt by V. But idk, it also feels like a truly great connection can be tough to find so if I had an amazing time, why deny myself ? That's the crux of my issue. And it's clearly bothering her too because even though she was super warm after the date and wanted a second date, since then she brought …
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 09:04 PM
5

Yeah man thanks I actually did a Reddit search for all the posts on this topic and had already read yours. Its just a tough pill to swallow to say, well I was I never single my entire adult life , I'm in my last year of my 30s and I'm in a big city, but I'm going to stay home and jerk off to find myself while my ex fucks the new guy because, I need to self actualize or something even though intimacy is the thing I'm craving more than anything else. Like I get the argument but I also kinda hate i…
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 09:02 PM
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