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sormenkynsi Archive

View 1 post and 78 comments by sormenkynsi on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

That's what seems to work best for me. I just make random comments inspired by whatever is happening around me. Sometimes, you don't need to say anything when it gets quiet. Sure, at first you need to keep the conversation going. But once she is invested, being comfortable with quiet causes her to feel uncomfortable and she will fill in the gap. Early on, if you are struggling with things to say, you can have a few canned routines like funny stories etc to use to fill in the gaps.
/r/seduction30/04/13 09:54 AM
20

so, why are you even here?
/r/seduction30/04/13 02:00 AM
3

I would agree. She has probably been playing you for the self esteem boost that it gives her. Take it from someone older who has made a lot of these kinds of mistakes: just drop it. You did the right thing by trying to take it further. Now that you know that she is not into that, go and meet someone who is. There have been a lot of girls who I really liked in the same way you like this girl, but here is the hard truth: If she is not reciprocating, you are wasting your time.
/r/seduction30/04/13 01:15 AM
2

Learn how to make funny, stupid small talk. Make comments about anything and everything, but never be serious. Always misinterpret her answers or questions in a funny way. Deep conversation is for when you are getting to know someone.
/r/seduction30/04/13 01:12 AM
3

Well done sir. You have the right mentality. I don't think you could have played it any better than you did.
/r/seduction30/04/13 12:55 AM
1

I've been there. I would say that is a case of not clearly showing your intent. As some point (hopefully early on) the girl needs to realise that you are interested in her sexually, and not just as someone to talk to. Do something to make sure she realises that. Be more flirty, more direct, more kino.
/r/seduction30/04/13 12:51 AM
24

I respectfully disagree. Trial and error is a part of it, but it is a matter of narrowing down your field. If you spend 6 months / 2 years / 5 years figuring out through trial and error that eye contact, good body language and getting close to girls is the right pathway, that is a fuckload of wasted time. Without a goal to aim for, you are going to spend a long time kicking balls nowhere near that goal. Online guides (or any other kind of advice) give you direction. Once you know where you are a…
/r/seduction30/04/13 12:46 AM
2

Yeah, you must have missed article 2a, subsections a and b: a: Women are also people, not objects. b: Dont be creepy.
/r/seduction30/04/13 12:40 AM
1

Great advice, and great book.
/r/seduction30/04/13 12:38 AM
1

Oh, the pain of realising that you have become too involved. It doesn't happen to me often, but when it does, I find myself emotionally unprepared for the consequences. With a girl who is "nice enough", I can be as cool and calm as anything. But every now and then I find a girl who short-circuits my brain and I end up going full retard. It's a painful lesson to learn. No matter how amazing they seem, we have to treat them the same as anyone else we would date. This is the challenge of logic vs. …
/r/seduction29/04/13 08:52 PM
2

Congratulations! That is what this community is all about.
/r/seduction29/04/13 08:20 PM
6

I don't have a great answer for you. I have battled with some self esteem issues. The only advice I have is this: If people are continually telling you that you are good looking, and you are the only one who disagrees with them, maybe you are the one who is mistaken?
/r/seduction29/04/13 08:20 PM
3

Firstly, don't hit on her at all. Talk to her friends instead. Ignore her. She will not be used to it and it will make her feel uncomfortable. Once you have the attention of the group, you can gradually start to talk to her. If you approach it this way, you can side-step the bitch shield.
/r/seduction29/04/13 07:13 PM
4

I would simply be the person I am now, rather than the person I was. High school me was introverted, shy, socially awkward and prone to one-itis and friendzoning. Present me is outgoing, socially adept and deeply satisfied with who I am. If I could teach a younger version of me how to feel this way, I would do it in a heartbeat.
/r/seduction29/04/13 07:11 PM
3

It depends on what kind of stuff you are talking about. The higher level information about being a complete person is exactly what we should be teaching young kids in my opinion. I agree that high school kids should not be learning tactics about how to pick up girls. But the inner game stuff is great no matter how old you are.
/r/seduction29/04/13 07:08 PM
1

I would meet up with her. The opportunity to learn is in taking her up on the offer and seeing what happens. Saying no will provide you with less information. The only way to grow is to reach outside of your comfort zone.
/r/seduction29/04/13 07:05 PM
1

Congratulations! I had a pretty hard time as well when I first made approaches. The important thing here is that you made that first step. Taking action and pushing your comfort zone is the key to improving. Keep up the good work.
/r/seduction29/04/13 07:01 PM
6

As in, they are not even acknowledging your presence? I don't think you necessarily have to be more physically imposing, but definitely be more socially imposing - make sure that they know that you are talking to them. A strong voice and confident body language should get you at least part of the way there.
/r/seduction29/04/13 06:59 PM
2

Me too. It is a subtle shift in expectations, but a majorly important one. It relieves of a lot of pressure. And the outcomes are better.
/r/seduction29/04/13 06:55 PM
38

Great thoughts. One that I would like to add in the beginner shit section is this: Improvement is a lumpy process. There are peaks and valleys on your journey. I had always expected things to be a gradual process of improvement. In reality, it is far more lumpy. A brief period of success can be followed by a long time with no success. Don't be disheartened, the next success could be just around the corner. As you get better, the gap between these successes becomes shorter and shorter.
/r/seduction29/04/13 06:50 PM
3

That is a valid point. Taken to extremes, excessive screening behaviour means you are satisfied with no-one, and eventually ending up alone. It can even be an excuse to avoid approaches, relationships, commitment - "She just isn't right because of [insert tiny flaw here]" Obviously, that is not what I am advocating. As you say, don't be a perfectionist. But do have standards - it will make you more attractive.
/r/seduction05/12/12 09:23 PM
6

Thanks :) I think OPs point is valid in that there is 2 ways of looking at a partner - either screening or grasping at straws. But it is opportunities, not gender that dictates how you view a potential partner. There have been some girls I have met who just ooze neediness. Not attractive.
/r/seduction05/12/12 06:46 PM
8

In some ways, it's kind of a 'fake it 'till you make it' thing. Pretending like you have abundance will actually help it become a reality. If nothing else, keep practicing and you will reach a point where it all kind of clicks. Once that happens you can very quickly go from scarcity to overabundance.
/r/seduction05/12/12 10:48 AM
89

I don't think those differences are gender based. Looking for reasons to accept someone is a scarcity-based approach. When you have a scarcity mindset, you are looking for reasons to accept someone because you feel you don't have that many options, so you will compromise. Looking for reasons to reject someone comes from an abundance mindset. If you already have plenty of people in your life, then anybody new needs to work hard to gain access to you. The only way that those two different mindsets…
/r/seduction05/12/12 10:20 AM
2

Also: make friends. Not only will it help you to approach girls, it is always nice to have a circle of friends to hang with. So don't restrict your approaches to just girls that you are attracted to. Talk to everyone. It will help your conversational skills and you might find some cool people to hang out with.
/r/seduction03/12/12 10:13 PM
1

Like others have said, it is pretty simple. If you want to see a girl again, tell her. There is nothing beta about texting a girl "Hey, I really enjoyed meeting you last night. I would love to see you again. Let's grab a coffee Thursday at 4pm" The worst thing that could happen is they say no, but you are already not seeing these girls a second time. If you can handle the small blow to your ego, there is literally nothing to lose.
/r/seduction03/12/12 10:11 PM
1

Seddit can definitely help. I think a lot of people come here to learn how to pick up girls, but then after applying the principles they realise how much more there is to this social dynamics thing. For me, pickup was like a gateway drug to becoming a more sociable, interesting and engaging person. It has taken me a lot further than I thought it would.
/r/seduction03/12/12 10:07 PM
3

I have to disagree on night game (especially solo) having no outside world application. Nothing pushes your boundaries more than going to a club by yourself (very unusual for the general population), then creating a great night. Making friends and approaching is a whole different ball game when you have no safety net of friends to fall back on. I have done a lot of traveling solo this year, and learning how to create my own fun and make single serving friends has made my travels so much more fun…
/r/seduction03/12/12 10:04 PM
1

No, those things don't bother me at all when hooking up with a girl. Some guys do care about that sort of thing, but not me. I find as long as a girl passes a threshold where I would consider her attractive, personality is WAY more important.
/r/seduction30/11/12 09:36 AM
1

Sometimes people accuse me of being weird . I always own it. My usual reply is something along the lines of "Yep! I know, how awesome is it!" However, I'm not usually coming from a place where I am forcing jokes to fill silences. I am actually quite comfortable with silence. You should be too.
/r/seduction30/11/12 08:26 AM
1

I think the first date choice depends a little on how much time you have spent with the girl in your first interaction. If you haven't really gotten to know her well, coffee is a great first date because you can sit and talk, get to know her. Like others have said, not every girl is going to be worth a big effort - sometimes you just don't click. Going for coffee is good, because if there is no spark, you can be done in 15-20 mins and move on with your life, not have it drag on. If, on the other…
/r/seduction30/11/12 08:22 AM
2

Exactly. If you have done your job right at the start you don't need any magic words.
/r/seduction29/11/12 11:12 PM
1

I admire your self confidence.
/r/seduction29/11/12 06:35 PM
1

agreed - the mystery method covers most of the phases of an interaction quite well.
/r/seduction29/11/12 05:51 PM
1

That is an interesting way of viewing things. I don't try to hurt anyone, but I could not be celibate simply to avoid possibly breaking someone's heart. I am always honest with the girls I meet, and you would be surprised about how many of them are OK with less permanent or exclusive relationships. By all means save yourself for someone amazing if that's what you want to do, but when you finally meet her, are you going to have the social skills and experience to get her and keep her?
/r/seduction29/11/12 05:50 PM
1

meh. works just fine for me.
/r/seduction29/11/12 05:41 PM
1

Being the most captivating guy in the group is all you need. You don't need to capture everyone's attention, just the people you are interested. When I am in full-on party mode, I have a great time but I get distracted and I don't tend to do much seduction. When I am just feeling happy and social is when I have the most success.
/r/seduction29/11/12 10:00 AM
3

I've always found that asking for a number is most natural when I have already seeded an event or thing that I want to invite her on. Then asking for the number becomes a logical way to set up the next meeting, rather than a big thing.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:52 AM
2

Rules of the Game by Neil Strauss might be some good homework for you.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:46 AM
0

I don't really say much for those first few words. First text usually starts "Hey it was great to meet you yesterday", other texts are either "Hey how is your week?" or something contextual about what they were doing recently. From there I usually segue into the next date idea.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:45 AM
1

Try reading "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. A little too spiritual for my taste, but reading this book really helped me to embrace the moment. If you are in your head, don't try to fight it. Acknowledge it, embrace the moment and move on. Fighting it will just keep you in the wrong place for longer.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:40 AM
22

Don't sweat it. If you were really outgoing and this guy is used to seeing you as a more introverted/quiet person, it was probably the contrast between the two versions of you that made him feel a bit weird.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:38 AM
1

I am new to this multiple-dating thing too. 3 months ago I wasn't seeing anyone consistently. If you have told them that you don't want to meet too often and they have accepted that, they shouldn't be surprised when you are unavailable. Don't cave in, especially if you feel bad for doing it.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:34 AM
1

Of course they are. You can be super restrictive with your criteria and go home with nobody. Or, you can be a bit more open-minded and have a lot more fun. I choose the latter.
/r/seduction29/11/12 09:31 AM
2

Definitely agree with TAOofSTEVE. The number close is so much easier if you can seed an awesome event they would enjoy coming to. Then it is a natural thing, not some awkward, unnatural event. As far as getting both of their numbers go, be careful: I have always had trouble choosing when I meet 2 girls, and so far every time I have been one man in a 2-set, I have failed to make anything of it. Good luck!
/r/seduction28/11/12 06:07 PM
7

See #1 - too judgemental. If you are a newbie (defined by OP as less than 30 lays), then your criteria should not be too restrictive.
/r/seduction28/11/12 05:56 PM
1

Good luck for Friday!
/r/seduction28/11/12 03:02 PM
3

You don't need to choose. If you don't want to be exclusive, tell them that. As puaCurveBall says, tell them you want to spend time with them, but you dont want an exclusive relationship, and they are welcome to date others as well. If they don't want that situation, they will stop hanging out with you and your problem is solved. I am seeing 3 girls at the moment (as well as going on a few dates with another 4 girls in the last couple of months). With each of the 3 girls, early on I told them th…
/r/seduction28/11/12 01:09 PM
2

I do this as well. I think it stems from a fear of rejection. When you know you can get the 7s or 8s, it is easy just to talk to them instead of stretching your boundaries. The only thing I can suggest (and I should take my own advice) is to make it a point to always approach the most beautiful girl in the place. After a few exposures (and successes) it should desensitise you. Remember that she is only a 9 or 10 to you, others might see her as a 7 or 8 - treat her no differently to any other gir…
/r/seduction28/11/12 12:53 PM
1

I guess I am just afraid of losing these skills if I slow down. Silly when you think about it. What I can't understand is how these pickup artists manage to go out every night (some of them, anyway), get numbers etc, and then organise day-2s etc with all the girls they meet. Maybe they are just really selective about who they choose to go further with?
/r/seduction01/11/12 05:09 PM
1

I guess that's the problem of text based communication. I find it difficult to put some of the feelings and thoughts I have into appropriate words, so what I write could easily be misconstrued as being a douche. Or maybe, if you met me, you would think I was a douche. Either way, I don't think your comment really contributed to the conversation in any way.
/r/seduction01/11/12 05:07 PM
1

I'm not sure I agree. I'm not looking for a long term relationship, just got out of one of those several months back. I do 'want' these girls, but not forever. They and I both know that. So I don't think it is the best decision to stop practicing for the sake of a short term relationship.
/r/seduction29/10/12 06:24 PM
1

As others have said, practicing this material will help you to become a more confident, interesting person. That will definitely help you to find the girls you are looking for. The main reason you see a lot of talk about casual hookups and parties is more of a reflection on the guys using the material and not its suitability for use on different "kinds" of women. Not partying, not drinking and no sex before marriage just means that you are looking for a different sub-set of girls. Your criteria …
/r/seduction29/10/12 06:11 PM
1

Focus on what went well. Every interaction has good things about it, even if it is just that you approached. I started enjoying myself a lot more when I stopped worrying about what I did wrong, and congratulating myself on what I did right.
/r/seduction29/10/12 06:06 PM
3

What I like about this is that you are getting out there and doing what you enjoy. I don't find it lame at all. Feeling like you owned the dance floor and having an amazing night? That is a great inner game building experience. Good job.
/r/seduction29/10/12 05:58 PM
2

I always find groups a little challenging, although if there are more than 2 of them it makes it a little easier - you're not leaving anyone by themselves if you borrow her for a second. With groups, it is always important to engage the entire group and befriend them before lasering in on the girl you are interested in. It may even help to ignore her a little bit at first. Opinion openers are good in this regard - everyone can give an opinion and get involved in the conversation. From there, you…
/r/seduction29/10/12 05:53 PM
1

I have started Lindy Hop again after a 5 year hiatus, and I love it. I doubt it is the best one for sexy dancing, but for sheer, unadulterated fun it gets 2 thumbs up from me.
/r/seduction29/10/12 05:48 PM
11

I typically don't ask. They will tell you. If a girl says she has a boyfriend, it can sometimes be a defence mechanism. I will usually keep talking with her anyway, then later on I will ask for a number if I want it. If she repeats that she has a boyfriend, then I graciously acknowledge and wish her all the best. If she doesn't say it a second time, it means that she was lying at first, or she is really not that attached to her boyfriend. Either way, I tend to proceed with caution.
/r/seduction29/10/12 05:37 PM
1

I can't speak for OP, but I don't think this necessarily objectifies women. At least, it doesn't the way I think about it. I can see how"quality" is a word that can be taken as offensive if used to describe women. I admit that it may not be the best word. For me, it boils down to this: when you have more options, you can afford to be more picky. I would say this holds true for both guys and girls.
/r/seduction29/10/12 04:20 PM
1

I am curious. If both people are honest about what is going on and what they want from the relationship, what is disgusting about it?
/r/seduction26/10/12 01:57 PM
2

Just speaking from experience. The times I have felt hesistant and gone for it anyway, I have tended to bomb out. The times I have been most successful are the ones when I felt generally confident and comfortable throughout the whole interaction. Different strokes for different folks, I guess.
/r/seduction25/10/12 05:51 PM
1

But if you escalate hestitantly or nervously, they can tell, and it drops their attraction levels majorly.
/r/seduction25/10/12 05:42 PM
1

Most of my day game approaches have been around the big shopping and tourist areas of London - covent garden, oxford street, leicester square, picadilly circus etc. As far as openers are concerned, it is a mixed bag. I sometimes open direct, and sometimes I just start conversation by remarking about something they are wearing, how they look or something else. My best success has come from off-the-cuff remarks. I still don't really have the delivery of direct openers down pat. I would say the bes…
/r/seduction25/10/12 05:40 PM
1

Fair point. I tend to hesitate with my kino escalation at times. Using something like this may not be ideal, but it has resulted in some k-closes where I did't really see any other way to get to that point.
/r/seduction25/10/12 05:31 PM
1

Ok, that's fair enough. Regardless, I would be careful about reading too much pickup related material without putting it into practice. Too much theoretical knowledge can cause overanalysing, paralysis and generally being 'in your head' - the opposite of what you want.
/r/seduction25/10/12 12:42 PM
3

I have used this type of line a few times to generally good success. One line from Mystery Method is "Would you like to kiss me?". This is good because if she says no, you can brush it off with something like "Ah. It just looked like you had something on your mind". If she says "not yet" then you say "I understand" then keep gaming. If she seems unsure, you say "let's find out" and go in for the kiss.
/r/seduction25/10/12 07:31 AM
9

Firstly, I think if you examine where you are now and compare it to where you were 2 years ago, you will find a lot of areas where you have improved. In the moment, especially when you have just made a mistake, it can feel like you are getting nowhere. But on a longer time scale it is easier to see improvement in yourself. Some ways to improve motivation: Find a meetup/lair/wingman. I had plateaued a little. Then met a couple of wings, and I seem to have recently broken through that barrier. Exa…
/r/seduction25/10/12 07:20 AM
10

Talk to everyone, about anything. When you are on your way to the bar/party/whatever, use it as a warm-up period. See a girl with interesting shoes? Tell her, make a brief conversation, then keep going. See a dude with a cool hat? Give him a compliment. Get into the habit of speaking without thinking. After a handful of random interactions you will be well warmed up, and out of your head. For me, this is the easiest way to get into state.
/r/seduction25/10/12 07:14 AM
6

I had an initial period where it felt like I was going to explode, but things quickly settled and now I don't really feel urges like that.
/r/seduction24/10/12 07:35 PM
3

In London, every Saturday. Google "Saturday sarge". Great group of guys.
/r/seduction24/10/12 06:19 PM
1

Agreed. If you are able to leave your house then you can practice this stuff. Talk to anyone, not just girls. This stuff (kino and escalation aside) works to improve your interactions with everyone. If for some reason you can't actually approach girls, then when you are finally able to, you will already be in the habit of being sociable with everyone and you will transition much more easily. You have already read enough to get out there and practice. You need to field test things, find your stic…
/r/seduction24/10/12 05:04 PM
6

Thanks! It is a new thing for me. Up until a few weeks ago, my success was a little more sporadic. I feel like I have reached a new level somehow. Keep up the practice and you will get there. It has taken me around 7 months of hard work to get to this point, and I still make lots of mistakes. But it is a fun journey!
/r/seduction24/10/12 04:43 PM
21

Haha yeah, bingo games are a big game changer for sure :)
/r/seduction24/10/12 04:40 PM
27

kino = touching Search reddit or google it, and there is a ton of info about it.
/r/seduction24/10/12 03:43 PM
22

That has helped me too. There is more motivation to get out there and meet girls when you know that is the only way you are going to get any orgasms.
/r/seduction24/10/12 03:34 PM
16

Yes. It is both exhausting and exciting. I don't think I have really ever been as tired as I have been in the last few weeks. But it has been great fun and a wonderful learning experience. I realise now that I have probably bitten off a little more than I can chew, so I need to dial things back a bit. Since this is the first time I have been in this position, I have tried to do as much as possible, but it is not sustainable long term. The major benefit of abundance, as Naga14 says above, is that…
/r/seduction24/10/12 03:17 PM
33

Trying day game / meeting other guys into game (technically two things, but I can't separate the two because that was one event for me). Until a month ago, I had only really done night game (usually solo). I had some good results, but nothing spectacular. Then I went to a daygame meetup, and something must have clicked in my head, because from that point onwards things really accelerated. On that first meetup, I did my first direct approach (and ended up on an instant date), met some wings, and …
/r/seduction24/10/12 02:42 PM
1

This is something I have been battling with recently as well. In the last month, my game has suddenly flipped a switch. It has evolved to a point where abundance is now my main concern, not scarcity. Like you, I have 2 girls who I see about once weekly. In contrast to what liquidhandle recommends, I have openly told both of them that I am not looking for anything serious, and that I will probably be dating other girls (and I am happy for them to see other guys). I figure the more open you are ab…
/r/seduction24/10/12 02:32 PM
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