sparung1979 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Does unconditional love truly exist? You can unconditionally love yourself. It starts there. Love is understanding, if you don't understand someone you cant really love them. So you have to understand yourself in order to unconditionally love yourself. Parents who aren't very knowledgable about themselves can't offer their children unconditional love. Once you can unconditionally love yourself, once you've done the work to really understand yourself, your capability to understand others is greatly increased, and with that, your cap…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/08/22 05:36 AM
2	What is the appeal of submission in women? Women that subscribe to more traditional gender roles have expectations of me that it feels good to fulfill. I like living up to being a leader, having someone who expects me to take initiative. Thinking specifically of cultural values or natural temperament. When I've been in a relationship with women who don't think that way, there has been tension out of the idea that they can manage my life, that they know what would be in my interest better than I do. Sometimes a woman is only submissive ou…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/06/22 09:38 AM
1	"Just be yourself" is a terrible advice It depends on how you define yourself. The problem happens because of the discrepancy between the front and the self. That's a signal that you aren't trustworthy. Think about it from a strangers perspective, you're seeing someone's character, trying to sort them out, and suddenly there's a reveal that the traits you've seen so far aren't the person at all. It would creep you out. The strategy is to treat yourself as someone of value who's doing the choosing. Be aggressively yourself. Every "no" …	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/02/22 05:49 AM
2	The vast majority of people absolutely do use relationships for personal development and growth, intentionally or unintentionally There is no such thing as "fully developed". Development continues through the whole lifespan. Women that say that have a blind spot about their own immaturity. People connect with the people who are at their level, so to speak. If there's a connection, but the woman feels dissatisfied with the guys level of development, its worth examining why there's a connection at all. Everyone we vibe with in any capacity is a reflection of ourselves and where we are at in life.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/11/21 02:58 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Wow, I was accurate about noting a higher heart rate and blood pressure just from your posts. Of course you're on Adderall, lol. That's really funny.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:41 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Is that what it is? You're so different from the species that your amusement looks like an increase in heart rate and blood pressure in text?	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:38 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Yeah, I write walls of text when I'm amused too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:34 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage I dunno, you seem to be putting a lot of energy into insulting me for someone not bothered.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:32 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage You're not being charitable to my ideas. Maybe when you're older you can revisit them. There hasn't been a contradiction. A difference doesn't mean there aren't universally applicable ideas. You know, whenever someone really bothers us, it's because they share something in common with us. I've always found this to be true. We react to what we recognize. You've been pretty arrogant yourself.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:21 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Yeah man, I didn't take you seriously, based on what you were saying. You read like a provincial Midwestern American to me. There are larger facts of human connection that transcend geography. Facts of behavior that can enable connection everywhere in the world. That's what I'm speaking to. For my purposes, that is, for connections of substance, there's no calculation of treating a person like shit that's going to bring high quality people into your life. Just playing that game is a liability in…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:11 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage I understand having fulfilling relationships, wherever you are. My knowledge is not just romance, its psychology and neuroscience as a whole. I have a wider understanding of how people think than you do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:03 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage I took your statement at face value, "being an asshole can help get you laid", no, being assertive, aggressive, masculine. Treating people like shit is a liability to getting a person laid. I know the two ideas aren't mutually exclusive. If you dont give a fuck about half the population, what business do you have talking in sweeping generalizations about "all men"?	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 02:01 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage You're just wrong about men, you have an idea of normal that is provincial. A lot of men have higher ambitions than maximizing the volume of fucks they can have. Your concept of asshole seems to be conflated with assertive or aggressive, masculine. You dont have a lot of granularity in your understanding of emotional concepts. I get what you're saying just fine. Its that your provincial. You're talking the ideology of 20 year olds in an American small town in the mid-west. Chinese romantic cultu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 01:42 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Nobody is dating "most women"! My short married friends couldn't give a fuck about your advice, and they didn't get rejected a lot, you'd just be an asshole if you talked about what "most women" prefer to them. Its not helpful, because the people experiencing consistent rejection often have much less superficial reasons for their rejections. Being an asshole gets people rejected a lot more often than height.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 01:23 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Thinking of it in broad terms isn't constructive, that's why I reacted as I did to the way you used the word average. All a person needs is to connect to one person and they've got a sexual partner/companionship/etc. Its not selling a product, you dont have to appeal to large numbers. Yeah sure, height is a factor, and there are short girls who don't mind short men. This is the problem with thinking in terms of averages. The exceptions are what make the tangible difference to personal experience…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/21 12:56 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage How you live can certainly make you smarter. You cant change the biology but you can help it out if you quit drinking and read a lot. Appearance can be changed similarly, not height but fitness, skin complexion, overall health, a good diet and exercise can change a persons prospects dramatically. Nobody changes on a whim, it takes work. I could be as elitist as Aristotle or schopenhauer but in terms of talking about dating to strangers, its not constructive or representative of how I've spoken t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/09/21 01:48 PM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage It would help the conversation if you didn't assume I was telling you everything I know. Here's the thing. An individuals position within a social statistic is not static. Through actions and behavior modification a man can change how women respond to them. A persons position in a social statistic is fluid, its not fixed. Education is something that can be acquired and change how people interact. Issues that are preventing connection can be resolved. People can and do change their behavior every…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/09/21 11:26 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage No they can't. People are too complex to be broken down solely into a collection of metrics. In the dating marketplace, you are evaluated as a whole, in real life.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/09/21 12:29 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage You're talking about metrics. I'm talking about people as a whole.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 11:56 PM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage right, average is a measure of a metric. Not a human being.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 08:52 PM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Telling you you're wrong isn't an insult. We are all wrong, human beings are wrong a lot. There has never been a human being in history who has never believed any bullshit. So it's nothing to feel bad about, or defensive.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:30 PM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Yeah, those statistics of people who date online. That's a self chosen selection, not a representative of humanity as a whole. Its a relatively small selection of the whole. So what information do you think you're getting? It's for sure stupid to talk about humans as a whole from dating site data.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:27 PM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Yeah, I meant western Europe, lol. I am American, but I'm speaking as flippantly as I am with you because you're talking about averages of people, which is a nonsense idea. You believe some lies you've been told and have a set of expectations based on those now, confident enough in your perceptions to prosthelytize.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:07 PM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage You're talking like this society is the only culture in the world. It's different at different times in history and in different places. I sound deranged to you because you don't know as much. Go to Europe, its different there.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 02:00 PM
0	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage There is no such thing as an average man, literally. Everyone's brain is unique like a fingerprint. The trick is to find out one's nature, one's aptitudes, and play to them, that's what attracts women, proficiency. We dont have a society that encourages this, we have a society that tells people they are sick if they have trouble being bored, that they have ADD if they have trouble alphabetizing insurance forms. If a person only does what they want to do, and vehemently rejects the societal instr…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 07:17 AM
0	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage As someone who's consumed media in the millions, I can tell you this logic isn't accurate. You're omitting the pool. You can easily watch a million movies that are mst3k contenders and be unsatisfied them all or ten on HBO max and be satisfied by half. A lot of dating options is less valuable in some locations than in others, education of a population varies by geography. You'll have better odds with less effort in a community like new york city if education or self awareness is a big value to y…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:58 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage Don't think of it as pick yourself up by your bootstraps. Radical personal responsibility has been extolled by everyone from buddha to William James. Yes, we all need other people, but that also starts with being a good person, with being kind and generous, being a type of person who people want to help. Everything starts from ourselves, our behavior, our decisions. We don't exist in a vacuum at any point, but that's a reality for everyone so it's not an excuse.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:52 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage All this tells me is that you haven't met any really ugly dumb as dirt women. There are a not insignificant percentage of women that truly have no advantage. The problem is that because of our own cognitive biases they tend to become invisible to us.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:47 AM
1	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage This presumes that dating apps are the only outlet and they aren't. The problem is the approach altogether. If you learn some things and use plain old social media you get some appreciation. Much more appreciation than simping, from females. What works best on dating apps in my experience is pictures of ne doing stuff or a statement that shows that I know stuff. By putting yourself on the position of less than, which simping does by definition, you create a self fulfilling prophecy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:43 AM
8	Women tend to downplay their dating advantage The data in your edit makes total sense, its because wealthy societies place more value on feminine characteristics. The closer one gets to a hunter gatherer the more important strength is, jobs requiring strength are more reliable work in a poor country than jobs requiring cognitive abilities. At a hunter gatherer level, for sure men have all the power. Societies that run on knowledge will only favor a subset of men, but they'll favor women more broadly, soft power is their bread and butter.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/09/21 06:33 AM
0	Women control the entire relationship realm, men have no say in anything. It depends on the guy. Some guys have women come to them, express attraction, offer themselves. For some guys, if they took every offer of sex they got they'd have no time to do anything but fuck. Its all about your value. Just like it is for women. Girls that aren't conventionally attractive dont have the same experience as Instagram models either. Mating is about biology. That's the mating marketplace, that's the currency, biology. Not just appearance or health, intelligence is biological too.	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/09/21 06:52 AM
3	Traditional gender roles are not "the natural way of things", nor are they particularly "good" You're putting the cart before the horse. Religion isn't forcing people into roles, the roles are why religion came out how it did. Something I've noticed, not all patriarchal societies are created equal. In South America, some countries in Europe, Russia, some Asian countries, there is a much greater cultural understanding of the power of women. Women ive met from these countries often are more at home in their femininity and less directly competitive with men. Theres nothing good or bad about …	/r/PurplePillDebate	31/07/21 01:50 PM
1	Women want to join a saved game Women can date aspirationally, yes. However many are simply looking for someone that is accustomed to the same lifestyle they are, a context established by family and peers. Not just materially, but in emotional or ideological development as well.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/07/21 11:59 AM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? I'm speaking to you from experience, not pulling ideas out of my imagination. Also from an education on psychology and neuroscience. What you're showing me is the expectancy effect. The self fulfilling prophecy. You expect to have an outcome, you will behave in a way to ensure that outcome unconsciously, because people act out their beliefs and interpret the world through their beliefs.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/21 10:27 PM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? You get what you focus your attention on. You're not describing men in general, you're describing the men you pay attention to. Your fears will gauruntee that you get what you're afraid of. Because that's where all your attention is going. Its like if you dated someone that was paranoid that you were cheating on them and going to leave them, its insufferable. It's not realism, its immaturity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/21 08:39 PM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? I'm not saying why are you asking, I'm saying why are you in here complaining. If you were living well, you wouldn't know any of the men you're in here complaining about. The premise of your post illustrates the problem. But you're negative-minded, thinking that focus on what can go wrong, pessimism, is adult. Nobody who does well would put up with how you think because there's no end to it. Its not based in reality it's based in emotion, unresolved childish fears. A childish idea of what being …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/05/21 08:09 PM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? That's what I'm saying, any guy who you feel the need to talk to like you're talking in this thread is a guy who shouldn't be in your life. The only guys you should end up with are the guys who never make you feel like you gotta talk about money fears. So who do you have to be to get those guys? Why are you in this thread talking about guys that ain't those guys?	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/21 12:31 PM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? All you're doing when you talk like this to a guy is saying very clearly, "I don't believe in you, I dont believe in your earning power or future earning power". Because if you believed in the guys earning power it wouldnt even be a thing you would say. If you trusted the guy you wouldn't worry. All you're doing is making it harder for the guy. Your lack of trust or belief in him isn't gonna help his earning power. So go find someone you can trust and believe in. Talking shit ain't gonna get you…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/21 12:11 PM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? Its not short sighted. You are assuming that you will need to be a full on leech at some point due to childbirth. Many women don't think that way or live that way. You're not thinking like a partner, you're anticipating dependency. That's a red flag. Its not a dichotomy of broke vs not broke with the ability to care for an adult dependent as the division. Furthermore, you're assuming a hypothetical future if you talk to a guy about that, which is a nonsense imaginationland discussion. Nobody wil…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/21 11:38 AM
1	Are men upset that having money is considered an attractive feature? Not even super dark or that long ago, it happens today. People are bought and sold today, starving people sell their children today, there are more slaves today than at any point in human history. What you're making the case for is equally physical. Money is physical too. It's not a reflection of mind, an inheritance isn't a reflection of mind, money doesn't give a shit what kind of person you are. The argument then is why do you feel the need to find a partner who fulfills material needs beyond…	/r/PurplePillDebate	15/05/21 05:41 AM
5	The argument isn't about "Nice Guys", the argument is about whether or not decent men are getting laid. You should read David Graebers history of Debt. Really well sourced. You'll be disgusted by the whole of humanity, not just the west.	/r/PurplePillDebate	09/05/21 07:18 PM
2	My dad always says if a guy is single at 35+, there usually a reason, and it’s usually baggage. How true is this statement? I'm one of those guys. Got here because I had to go through a lot of therapy before I'd be open to the people that are good for me. Fully aware of the baggage I had at around 25, put in time to get over it. But yeah, typically there's reasons for stuff. Also, habits form, being alone is peaceful, people get used to things.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/04/21 09:23 AM
1	What do you think is making men so unattractive to women? I've had something similar happen after reading a lot of women talking about how men are disgusting and creepy. I carry that with me and assume rejection, because I dont want to be that guy. I dont want to be anyone's metoo story. Theres no context where romantic interest feels appropriate. I don't trust any signals of interest, because I could be misunderstanding, or projecting what I want to be true over what is. It's been ultimately very isolating and depressing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/02/20 09:34 AM