~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 22 | Too much of my identity comes from being a provider. How do I change that? | support request | spice-hammer | /r/MenSupportMen | 02/04/24 06:30 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Too much of my identity comes from being a provider. How do I change that?Thanks! I don't focus on what I'm trying to change away from, I find something to change towards. This is really interesting. I know that I do other stuff and that I’m more than just my ability to pay for things, but knowing that and putting energy into those other things apparently isn’t enough to start the replacing process. I might have the right parts at the ready, but I’m not sure how to start putting them together in a new way. How have you started that process (changing what you value abo… | /r/MenSupportMen | 03/04/24 01:32 PM |
| 3 | Too much of my identity comes from being a provider. How do I change that?Well, my dad put my mom through art school when I was young and I really admired that. I also know that my capacity to endure uncomfortable situations for people I love is something I’m proud of. Like, I’m not especially confrontational/assertive, I don’t banter well etc., but when I’m trying to figure out where I fit on the spectrum of ‘masculine attributes’ I’ve at least got the endurance thing down, maybe to an unhealthy degree. It makes me feel happy to think that people are able to do thing… | /r/MenSupportMen | 02/04/24 10:44 PM |
| 2 | Too much of my identity comes from being a provider. How do I change that?Good advice for sure! I do have those - I’ve got hobbies, some friends, some long-term projects I find truly meaningful, things that I really enjoy that are not work. I’ve put a solid amount of time into developing those and I’m glad I did. But they don’t feel foundational to my identity in the same way that being a provider does. In the jenga metaphor, they’d be blocks that are a few levels up. I guess I’m curious about how I can shuffle my jenga tower around, if that makes sense? Switch “provi… | /r/MenSupportMen | 02/04/24 09:42 PM |
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