~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 9 | Am I at fault for wanting to bring this up or are we just not compatible?No, you’re not at fault for wanting to be pursued by the man you’re seeing. I think you should listen to what your emotions and concerns are trying to tell you. Something is off even if you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. It could be many things, perhaps he is just not that into you or he doesn’t know how. I wouldn’t get hung up on why, men are pursuers, and thank god because it’s how we feel loved. You can’t teach a man how to pursue a woman as a woman. You can try with heavy hand of… | /r/RedPillWomen | 08/05/21 05:10 PM |
| 6 | So so tired of this conversation with my husbandI have no advice just sympathy and my anecdotal experience. Long winded but acceptance and patience was the better path for me in similar circumstances. My husband is an executive and manages about a billion dollars and hundreds of employees. 90% of our conversations are about his work. His work is also very dramatic, and so it’s a bit like following a soap opera, just a repetitive one that never ever ends. You don’t get the satisfaction when a character really really needs to be killed off!!! H… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 11:57 PM |
| 8 | How to support my husband and his business without drianing him!?!?!?You are not draining him. Hence why he could not provide you with examples of what you are doing that is draining! He is punishing you for making him feel bad about his behavior. And he should feel bad. That’s no way for a fine woman to be treated. At the end of the day, he is a grown man and if he wants to move out for two weeks to work I would let him. Not out of anger but out of respect and a “you do you boo” mentality, I would tell him you support him if that’s what he wants to do, you’d pre… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 10:18 PM |
| 16 | How to deal with a partner that while most of the time an Amazing, sweet, loving guy can sometimes be a narcissistic asshole with anger management issues?Here is my advice to you: 1) stop with the labels and the psycho-analyzing. It’s not actually helping you or him to relate any better or to have a healthier dynamic by using all these loaded labels to define yourselves and relationship. “Narcissitic” “ptsd” “codependent” “trauma”! Does that sound like a relationship to you that will ever function and be healthy? No. Give yourself a fighting chance. 2) you are not a verbal punching bag. Physically walk away when it is emotionally too much for you… | /r/RedPillWomen | 06/05/21 09:28 PM |
| 6 | Should you mate-guard your man?No, if you’re with a good man you won’t need to he is capable of setting boundaries. I work with a LOT of men, many of whom are 15-30 years older than me. A lot of my job requires closed door conversations or 1:1 meetings. Most of these men are married. I’m married. We will end up spending a lot of time alone together because of the nature of the work. Most men go out of there way to make sure IM comfortable, are genuine and respectful and the boundaries feel very natural. Many are chivalrous wi… | /r/RedPillWomen | 05/03/21 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Stick to RPW, feel amazing, then descend back to normal habitsI like to think of it like a skill. Skills take time to shape and develop. Reading a good cook book doesn’t make you a good chef. You have to practice, give yourself feedback, tweak! | /r/RedPillWomen | 26/02/21 01:49 AM |
| 1 | I’m feeling really upset about birth control and I don’t know how to deal with it.That’s great! | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/21 02:03 PM |
| 6 | I’m feeling really upset about birth control and I don’t know how to deal with it.There is a lot going on here so I am going to dig a little deeper with you. How do you feel about your relationship with this man outside of your current dilemma? Are you happy with him? Can you see yourself raising a family the way you want to together? How long are we talking about the condom solution? A couple months? Long term etc? You have put the goal post on motherhood a few years down the track. There is nothing wrong with this choice, but I am curious about the why. With love, you are n… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/21 03:19 AM |
| 6 | How to encourage husband to act in his masculine energy?Is your husband being insecure? Yes. Is your husband being a whiney little bitch? Absolutely. Is this unattractive and frustrating? 100%. So where do you go from here? Your current behaviors aren’t getting you better results so your options are to try a different strategy, one that will work better for YOU. You cannot control your husband. You can only control your reaction to your husband. You sound smart and like you know this, so what can you do to prioritize YOUR happiness, peace and dignity… | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/21 02:28 AM |
| 8 | How to be a better wifeAs your kids get older and more independent there are really two opportunities that I see: 1) your personal development and fulfillment, which can overlap with your roles as wife, mother, and home maker, or possible interests or passions outside of those roles. What additional skills, activities, hobbies could interest you and fulfill you? Being a good wife to me means being a happy well rounded individual. Will your world come crashing down and feel devoid of purpose when you’re nest is empty? … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/21 01:54 AM |
| 6 | Can marriages with verbal/emotional abuse be "fixed"? (i.e., how much should a woman take?)I’m going to answer the question you’re asking yourself; should you have stayed longer and tried harder? No. Emotional and verbal abuse is a type of psychological manipulation. If you’re defining it accurately, then more than likely your ex had some of kind of personality disorder. If you layer that in with any kind of fucked up family dynamics he grew up in then his ability to truly change, respect and love you is even more unlikely. But even IF he could, his price to pay is losing you. If you … | /r/RedPillWomen | 25/02/21 01:39 AM |
| 10 | Ladies, how do you initiate sex while still remaining in your feminine role?I really like Esther Perels book “mating in captivity”. You mentioned you recently moved in together and some of her insights might be useful for you. Domestic life can be a real turn off and it’s nobody’s fault, just helpful to understand. Sounds like you have already tried seducing him and he’s not an idiot so he’s essentially rejecting what you’re putting out there. So my advice is different and that is actually to stop. Stay feminine and stay confident, sleep in pretty things, and don’t let … | /r/RedPillWomen | 24/02/21 02:06 AM |
| 3 | Asking for advice.It’s hard to be authentic if you don’t know who you are or what you want. You are in the age bracket where a lot of that self discovery happens, and it may mean you spend time “trying on” different interests, ideas, ways of being until you find what fits for you. This can manifest itself in healthy ways and not so healthy ways. It sounds like you acknowledge you don’t have a grounded sense of self to bring into romantic relationships, so maybe the starting point for you is to develop and refine … | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/21 12:00 PM |
| 6 | Feminine vs Masculine energyThis is a fun one. I tend to have a very masculine personality and compensate with a very feminine appearance. I’ve been told more than once I easily intimidate and emasculate men 😬! It has served me well in my career, and has served me well romantically because it weeds out easily intimidated or threatened men, (it has also probably burned me romantically just as many times, don’t get me wrong) but I have a LOT of opportunities where softening would benefit my life love and relationships. I als… | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/21 01:20 AM |
| 1 | How do I encourage my male friend (21M) to escalate our relationship?I’m not against it, but technically all her signals and other indirect conversations should have already accomplished it. I do think he needs to spur into action based on his own internal motivation versus being prodded by everyone around him to do so. | /r/RedPillWomen | 20/02/21 01:04 AM |
| 4 | How do I encourage my male friend (21M) to escalate our relationship?I understand. The best thing I can encourage you with is not to close yourself off to other potential “suitors” in your heart waiting for him to figure it out. Enjoy your friendship. If something comes of it one day, you will have a solid base of friendship and companionship and that genuinely goes a long way. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 05:43 AM |
| 4 | How do I encourage my male friend (21M) to escalate our relationship?Has he had any girlfriends or relationships in the past? I wonder if he did the pursuing or the women did. I can speak from experience. My first husband was very handsome, masculine in many ways, but I did a lot of the pursuing. Many years later when we had other issues I always came back to the realization that I didn’t feel as desired or wanted by him because I did all the work in the beginning and it set the precedent for the rest of our relationship. I was pretty patient too, so it’s not lik… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 05:25 AM |
| 1 | Being afraid to dress nicelyOn the length, I actually started measuring what the right length for me for skirts and dresses were. For example a 40” dress from shoulder to hemline skims my knees and is graceful. Most dresses made at the work wear brands I shop at average 36-38” and that’s too short for me. It would make sense though if the average woman is 5’5 with average length in legs. I’m a leggy 5’7 and will shop in the tall section for dresses or skirts for this reason. Knowing this down to the measurements helps when… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 05:09 AM |
| 1 | Being afraid to dress nicelyI actually am freezing in indoor buildings all summer long so I sympathize! 70 can be too cool for me as well. I have been known to run the space heater under my desk while the ac is on. A couple things I have noticed, if I workout in the morning I am not as cold all day. For me, it seems like the increase in circulation from getting my blood moving goes a long way to regulating my body temperature closer to an average person. Second, I find I need warmth around my torso more than my legs. So I … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 05:06 AM |
| 12 | How do I encourage my male friend (21M) to escalate our relationship?Do you flirt with each other? I don’t think you should rescue him from having to do the work here, but you could keep making it obvious you won’t reject him through your body language and suggestions. I know it seems dramatic to say this, but I promise you at the end of the day if he won’t take the risk or waits around for you to initiate, you will have bigger issues down the line. | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 04:57 AM |
| 3 | Being afraid to dress nicelyJust to clarify, where do you live? What is the cultural context? Is brazen street harassment a daily item to worry about when you’re running errands or making your way to and from work? Part of dressing well is also understanding the context you’re in and adjusting accordingly. You can be tasteful and feminine in almost any context but the physical clothing to do so will be very different. Is the environment conservative and casual? Hippy modern? Older traditional? How does your body type fit i… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 04:30 AM |
| 1 | Boyfriend lacks assertiveness whenever it comes to other men. I don’t know what to do about it.Is there a pattern of your boyfriend being unattractive to you because he has a very passive presence or other less masculine traits? If so, I’d be concerned. But insecurity can manifest itself in two ends of the spectrum, being too aggressive and assertive with other men youre around, which is deeply immature or not assertive enough in tone and body language (aka your man). You’re looking for the sweet spot. Do you feel like he has enough assertiveness to defend you or your future hypothetical … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 02:25 AM |
| 1 | How to date when you are unhappy with your career?There’s no reason you cannot be honest and upfront with the men you date that you aren’t happy in your field and you have a long road ahead of you to make a transition to something you’ll like better. You are giving your career more of your identity and esteem then it deserves. It’s not serving you well and it’s preventing you from dating. Perhaps it’s a convenient reason to not have to risk putting your imperfect self out there and pursue the other elements of life (love, relationships, family … | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 02:03 AM |
| 8 | (20F) Too loud, need dating advice!!Think of the many different type of alpha men you have been attracted to. Some may be quieter and more reserved in spirit and others louder, bolder and charming. While it sounds derogatory, it’s true what Joey on friends said. Women are like types of ice cream and your flavor may be bolder and a bit zestier. Maybe your cherry Garcia and not vanilla and trust me many men would rather be married to cherry Garcia. I think what you have correctly identified as an area for self improvement is the nee… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 01:51 AM |
| 7 | Accepting my partner's weakness?A couple strategies to noodle on: 1) don’t reward the behavior by helping him “calm down” or wind down the emotion. This is how women care for each other or their children, and it’s why you’re not attracted to it. I am NOT saying don’t be there to emotionally comfort your husband when it’s warranted but what you’re saying is his reaction is not warranted for situation. Much like with children, he may need to learn how to sooth himself when his feathers get ruffled and you don’t want to create th… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 01:35 AM |
| 3 | Why should we neglect 'Pseudo Body Positivity' culture set by people.I wish the whole movement would be rebranded and morphed into advocating “self-respect”. This is more about how you behave towards yourself, AND how you allow yourself to think about yourself. Do you intentionally move? Do you feed yourself like someone you care about? Do you dress yourself well, making sure you’re self expression reflects how you want the world to see you? This means caring for ones body and well being, determining what you can change and accepting with GRACE and self compassio… | /r/RedPillWomen | 19/02/21 01:03 AM |
| 1 | How to surrender if I'm better than he is at (some) things?Leave the tech stuff be. He’s smart enough to ask and hasn’t so just trust him and let it go. Or offer one time and if he doenst take you up on it let it go. He’s a grown man and can deal with the consequences. It’s a control issue for you and it might be helpful to recognize that. Make it a goal in life that you need to be able to watch somebody do something really poorly that you could do well and not let it bother you. 9/10 it’s not personal. Even if it is, just shake your head internally and… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/21 05:08 AM |
| 2 | How to know when to make it official?I think other posters hit the highlights, but something I found to be important is assessing what you both like to do for down time and fun. You want some overlap so that you can enjoy that time spent together on said activities. I used to think this shouldn’t matter if you’re overall values are the same but I didn’t find that to be true in reality. My ex husband loved to go on long bike rides, do strenuous workouts, video gaming or watching marvel universe movies. He didn’t have many other hobb… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/21 03:48 AM |
| 1 | Having a Hard Time Getting into Nun ModeIf you really do feel you align with BPD, the Marsha Linehans work around dialectical behavior therapy may provide you with greatest skills to help you manage your emotions or impulses and help you grow into the high functioning woman you desire to be. However, it would also be very normal at 18 to feel quite emotionally out of control in certain parts of life as you are still very much an adolescent. There’s nothing wrong with that and sometimes labels do more harm than they help. Your relation… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/21 03:40 AM |
| 16 | Is it just me or is there a lot of feminist viewpoints in this sub?I wanted to add I know I’m new but below is my additional observations and cherry picking of what I have taken away as core RPW philosophy: Go look at the working moms sub, there are two types of married women expressing how burned-out they are in that forum in my observation. (Single women too and women who aren’t complaining but they aren’t my focus) There seem to be those that wish they could be stay at home mothers and aren’t because they cant. It’s terrible emotionally for them and I feel g… | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/21 02:52 AM |
| 2 | Is it just me or is there a lot of feminist viewpoints in this sub?It’s also more common in young women then people care to acknowledge. We tend to gloss over drinking problems in young people because it fits the stereotype/culture of youth behavior. I saw it when I was president of my sorority, and I even see it in manifest in friends now (30s) where today they are high functioning but I worry about ten years from now. | /r/RedPillWomen | 17/02/21 01:47 AM |
| 25 | Is it just me or is there a lot of feminist viewpoints in this sub?So I am new to this sub, and have done a lot of sidebar reading and looking through older posts. I see two philosophies, one is a way of relating to men with the goal of having more mutually fulfilling relationships by understanding traditional gender dynamics (which modern day feminism ignores) and ways to increase dating and marital success. I.e leaning into being feminine, understanding what respect looks like, understanding the trade offs of how you have been taught to relate to men in the m… | /r/RedPillWomen | 16/02/21 07:04 PM |
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