TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

sritaunicelular Archive

View 1 post and 417 comments by sritaunicelular on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Purge Week!sritaunicelular/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 10:39 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Every time a similar question arises, people fixate on the feelings they experience: jealousy, anger, fear, pain. Never too much on the "why" and it's something I've been challenging myself with lately, reading Esther Perel's mating in captivity and the state of affairs. -why- do we feel a certain way and why do we need to control and demand sexual exclusivity? How have we also somehow normalized cheating and secrecy in our culture? This is a broad generalization, but I believe it boils down to …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 04:27 PM
1

No one is mocking tradition. Or at least I didn't. While it's not my cup of tea, I fully respect it when it's consensual and benefits everyone involved. I just don't romanticize it. Also, while it is commonly assumed that traditions have an ancient history, many traditions have been invented on purpose, whether that be political or cultural, over short periods of time. Culture changes and we adapt, it's only a natural part of evolution. take my cue from evolutionary history. Surviving organisms …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 07:44 AM
3

If you're truly open to having your mind changed, the first thing to consider is that wanting a SAHM/ more traditional relationship isn't necessarily bad, and true feminism is about fighting to let women decide what they want for their lives, wether that's a career, motherhood or in between. but it goes beyond that. I know you didn't specifically say "all women are either good or bad" but you're also over using the term straw man. What some people are trying to explain is that the "loyal woman" …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 06:02 PM
4

I am so damn happy you recommended that book, it's one of my staples and changed my life completely a few years back. Reading about CEN in general, I also like "running on empty" by Joice Webb
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/22 11:29 PM
2

I don't think some of these preferences are unreasonable, and of course we all have the right to want and choose the partner we think we deserve, based on our own metrics of what we consider desirable. But from experience, most men on these forums aren't precisely tactful when it comes to their preferences. They feel they're entitled to shaming the women they don't feel attracted to, because of well, a multitude of reasons: rejection, a sense of unfairness (why can they find dates), being shamed…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 10:32 PM
–

They do, but in different ways. (I'm not defending them and I'm definitely not FDS, but from what I've seen) they advocate for women being financially independent and taking care of themselves, having their hobbies/lives outside of men. I believe a lot of the problem that FDS face is believing that women have inherit value due to supply and demand. This may be true, that you have "more options" but most of those will be trash. High value people should and often seek out other high value people, …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 06:28 PM
–

Absolutely. I think it's completely fair to feel the way they do. Ultimately you build defense mechanisms to protect yourself and try to avoid what caused harm. But without self reflecting and inner work, there's not usually growth but resentment. There are some terrible men out there that use and abuse women, but there are also some terrible women that do the same and as much as it hurts to admit, I know society tend to let women get away with it more, but I can see that slowly shifting as we w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 06:24 PM
–

Oh good lord, no! I'm not. but I'm also not TRP's type.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:26 PM
–

I definitely see FDS and TRP being part of the same horseshoe, someone has to draw this, I might
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:17 PM
–

I think it would make for a hell of a good, and awful time. It would very entertaining for sure!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:16 PM
–

Haha, that sounds like it would be a fun time. Unfortunately I'm 37, chubby and have a lot of tattoos, so TRPers aren't precisely lining up 😛
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:15 PM
–

I don't think that's the case, things are a bit dicey BUT I don't think it's as dire as Reddit (or these spaces anyway) pretend it is. I think Covid definitely made it worse for many: isolation, fear, being forced to cohabitate, stress, loss of income, disease etc. But that's where accountability, therapy and self work really helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:13 PM
–

I didn't know this had a name! (But why wouldn't it? I felt so smart for a second, haha) Down a rabbit hole I go, thank you !
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:10 PM
–

I really do believe both TRP and FDS are in many ways similar and meant for each other, like a match made in sexy extremist hell. They're both opposite sides of the same dating coin: reactionary, mostly radicalized movements that emerged after they've realized how broken the current dating world is. They both advocate for going back to "traditional roles" they have a long list of demands/requirements (for a potential life partner) they both advocate for keeping people around for casual sex and f…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 05:02 PM
–

Are we talking about the same people? Everything I've seen from FDS they're intensely anti sex work. They shame and judge the women who partake in it because they consider it part of the same patriarchal structures and make men "sadists" they're anti porn, and anti BDSM as well. It's one of the many reasons I don't like them
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 04:57 PM
1

I appreciate it! English isn't my native language so trying to explain myself gets tricky at times, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 04:54 PM
4

I don't think it's uncommon to assume a lot of TRP men do want to have children or even a family. But just as they complain about women being picky and delusional, they are also looking for a family with a huge asterisk next to it: they don't want to raise other men's children they don't want to date single moms even when they don't have to see or raise said children they want virgins or very low count women they don't want anyone fat they don't want anyone with fantasy hair or tattoos they want…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 04:24 PM
2

I feel that we are just sending each other mixed messages over and over on PPD. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad. Not only are the comments mocking women's looks and age pretty common here, but we are constantly told that men don't care about women's careers, hobbies or dreams, but only youth and beauty. These are all integral parts of a personality. Unless you mean a manic pixie dream girl? (MPDGs are usually static characters who have eccentric personality quirks and are unabashedly girli…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 04:40 PM
7

I'm 37 and people think I'm 28-30 at most. My fiancé is 34 and people think he is older than me because he is tall and has a beard. Women 35+ can look good for their age, depending on their lifestyle (not a smoker or party girl, exercise, good skincare routine, good genes) and certain ethnicities just age better. if the excuse is biology, not everyone wants to have kids. I knew I never wanted them so settling down and starting a family wasn't what I was looking for, and I've always been upfront …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/22 04:03 PM
4

I also agree on that! When people fixate on tradition that's when it gets a little crazy. I've never heard that expression but I'm totally using it now !
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 12:23 AM
8

I'm definitely agreeing with you. We are having a very small, inexpensive thing because weddings are also insanely expensive (think over 20k, it's absurd! ) but courthouse is sounding better and better, ha. I just find it fascinating how we've continued to use antiquated traditions and adjust what's convenient to us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 11:36 PM
20

While that is indeed the case, the same isn't for the wedding planning part I'm afraid. Most of the responsibility lie on women, it's a common complaint that men don't generally get as involved. Weddings are seen as "women's special day" even though it involves two parties. I've always found this interesting, especially as someone that is planning a wedding but never "dreamt" of it. I appreciate that my fiancé is as involved as he chooses to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 10:34 PM
8

"Do men do it too? Obviously, but you never hear about women's subversive and passive aggressive reactions to not getting what they want" -- This is a classic case of self awarewolves, you're almost at the point, but don't have the entire picture. The reason why some women "get away" with this is because of, well, men. Water is wet: emotionally immature people take rejection poorly, regardless of gender. Men tend to respond more violently or in more obvious ways, because anger is usually the one…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 04:50 PM
1

Nope, it goes to "live love laugh" there's just something about it, you can't compete with that wisdom.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 11:14 PM
3

I'm framing this comment above my bed with some pink glitter surrounding it. It's so precious.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 10:36 PM
12

This is wild to me. I'm a tattoo artist and have my own shop, 90% of my clientele are women. I know this is not a general statistic but in 8 years I've talked to and tattooed a lot of women in both Mexico and the US. I have anything from kindergarten teachers, religious camp managers, to lawyers, nurses, stay at home moms, you name it. women that range between 18 and 70. Many of them are in committed monogamous relationships. Tattoos are completely mainstream in 2022, and on their own they don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/22 05:03 PM
3

Can't say women can't be hypocritical, because obviously. But honestly from experience most women aren't disingenuous saying they want "nice" guys, they misinterpreted what constitutes as a nice guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 02:22 AM
3

What if I tell you, and I know this will come as a shock, that you can be "dominant" and "manly" while also being nice? Objectively most women don't want to be treated like shit. But they also like men who are in control of their emotions and not simpy. You know, a full rounded person with different traits? Human emotions are complex. obviously can't speak for everyone, but this has been my experience and the experience of those around me, for the most part.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/22 01:10 AM
2

Happy cake day!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 06:43 PM
2

Haha, you're not wrong! And thank you. It's not such a scary place if you know to avoid the dark alleys and walk on the sunny side.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 06:23 AM
1

Grass felt lovely, then allergies got to me so I'm back inside
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 05:15 AM
1

-well, that escalated quickly.gif -
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 03:04 AM
2

I forget you don't understand jokes, my man. Anyway, happy cake day to me again!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 03:01 AM
1

I wouldn't because I like people that aren't too similar to me
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 02:53 AM
4

I'm not here to argue, (today, if that wasn't clear) I'm here to be congratulated on 10 years of being on Reddit. Happy cake day to me!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/22 02:50 AM
-1

I've cheated in the past, and I'm not proud of it. I didn't get caught, except once. Ironically what finally made me feel like I wasn't broken and that I had found my people, was opening up my last relationship/discovering polyamory. My fiancé and I are monogamish, we have the occasional threesome (I'm bi) It keeps things fresh and interesting, and I genuinely have no desire to be with another guy outside of him. And no need to cheat, we communicate openly about our needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 05:20 AM
1

I don't doubt that is the case, but mental health and the studies surrounding it even if not perfect, have come a long way. I don't know much about group psychopathy, but I remember reading a good science article/study about social psychopathy from I think 2005/ 2006 by APA ( the American psychiatric association) And one about social psychopathology and its cultural ramifications from the early 2000s. I'm not a psychologist myself and I don't claim to be an expert at all, but I love reading abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 10:10 PM
1

Thank you for sharing your side, you make some valid points. I personally agree on the manipulation front: most of women's arsenal relies on mind games/verbal assault, for example. of course women are aggressive too, but from experience this tends to be directed differently, because of how we are raised and socialized. I DO believe this make truly psychopathic women more dangerous, especially if protected by privilege, a halo of "goodness" and fragility. But the number of women who externalize h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 05:12 PM
2

It truly never reaches a conclusion. for people to be able to understand the human spectrum and the nuances of interpersonal relationships they have to, well, talk to people outside of these spaces. I'm all for people having their own morals/standards and preferences. But complaining about certain double standards that benefit women by simultaneously enforcing the ones that benefit men (saying only women can be sluts/broken by N count, for instance) is hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 04:57 AM
1

Reddit is a weird echo chamber for a few men to bounce their misogyny and disgust against women who have sexual liberty, disguised as puritanical values and "science". Most men that are of value and actually get laid don't tend to care. I've met the same stable, married non judgmental people, and never have "N count" ever been brought up to me by anyone in my 37 years. Most guys who are over 30 realize it's an absurd metric. I have to remind myself to disconnect from this app from time to time!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 04:39 AM
2

The answer is random misogynistic remarks disguised with bogus science and echo chambering
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 04:26 AM
1

Although you have every right to choose who you want to date and set your boundaries/reject women with high N counts, I don't think there's ever a need to call anyone "trash" I truly don't understand the vitriol. is it coming from a religious standpoint? why the harsh judgment? And that's not always the case, I'm 37. I've had pretty fantastic sex within relationships in my past, as well as a few ONS, and I am not reminiscing or wishing I could go back to that. I'm incredibly happy with my fiancé…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/22 04:23 AM
5

The men that want these traits, aren't necessarily advocating for women to be decent partners. These are also not the same people. If you're a good person and treat women fairly/with respect, then you are also not the type that would want women to be submissive/doormats. I also didn't say that it's implied that women should put up with abuse, but I'm getting a lot of comments from men basically saying it is entirely women's fault. It's like having someone break into your house and stealing from …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:40 PM
4

A very small percent of the general population exhibit true psychopathy, and the deficit is more prevalent amongst men than women. Men generally score higher on psychopathy measures than women (Forth et al., 1995; Hicks et al., 2012; Verona et al., 2012) in the forensic settings as well as the general population (Forth et al., 1995; Grann, 2000). Obviously I'm not saying women can't be psychopaths. But even though Women with higher levels of psychopathic traits tend to be more aggressive than wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 10:33 PM
0

I think you can be assertive without being on FDS level, because I don't agree with a lot of what they stand for. It's another extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 09:27 PM
4

There's way more to our psychology. I agree that your upbringing has a lot to do with it, especially in households were you were raised with an abusive parent and grow to believe that's an acceptable way to be treated. Some people are skilled enough that they strip your self esteem/convince you that there is no way out. Trauma bonding, Stockholm syndrome, to name a few. It's easier to say you'd recognize abuse and exit that situation fast, but a lot of this is learned as we go. I had to fight my…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 08:49 PM
16

Because quiet, submissive women are far easier to control, and it was the case historically for a long time. it's easier to convince us we are wrong and that we are c*nts if we display "masculine traits" (being assertive, speaking our minds, enforcing boundaries) because to those with privilege, losing even a little bit or even sharing it, feels like abuse. No wonder we are raised to be sweet, to not rock the boat and to smile. And women that hold any position of power constantly face misogyny a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 08:42 PM
11

That's a roundabout way to say it's our fault. How is being deceived and abused by men entirely on women? If most men are not like that and you believe we are just trauma dumping/weaponizing trauma, refuting our personal experiences, gaslighting us and downplay the abuse by chalking it up to "poor taste" isn't the way to prove us that most men are, in fact, safe. ironically I see more from men complaining about their suffering and how they're actually the ones being oppressed and victimized, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 08:39 PM
7

Because men's biggest fear is rejection/having their egos hurt, when women's biggest fear is to be assaulted/raped/murdered. They want us to ignore their privilege and disregard what we go through, in the fear of being mistaken by a bad guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 06:27 PM
74

"We want women to be loyal to us, feminine, sweet and submissive" -woman with said traits gets abused by men and becomes jaded- "Why can't women choose better partners! women are so sensitive, we are not all like that! It's their fault for trusting and being loyal/gullible" Damn if you do, damn if you don't. It's like the psychological version of the Madonna/whore complex. they want the submissive qualities but only for them. they're mad they're not being picked, so we must be punished for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 06:09 PM
7

Read my reply again. No one said we shouldn't care about it at all, it's just not pertinent to a two gender-based argument, because it's men killing men. It IS a problem, just a different one. Throwing that statistic is a shock tactic to deflect from the topic at hand. it's saying "men die way more often, therefore your suffering is irrelevant/untrue" It's typically used when someone cares about one subject, you automatically asume we don't care about the others. someone, for example, telling me…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 05:56 PM
16

Yes, 78.7% percent of men are victims of a violent crime, but 96% of the perpetrators are also men. No one is discrediting the severity of these statistics, most women don't want men to die, and most of us aren't killing you. It's not relevant to this conversation because most crime against men isn't on the basis of gender, and purple pill debate is for gender-based arguments.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 05:40 PM
0

Nice straw man fallacy there! Quality stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 05:30 PM
10

I wouldn't call it dramatically overblown, but it could be misguided. Like you said, it's not usually strangers, but the men we know. when the statistics show that: 1 in 3 women worldwide experience physical or sexual violence, mostly by an intimate partner. Almost 3 in 5 women killed, were killed by their partners or ex partners. So yes, the call is usually coming from inside the house, which correlates with the poor choices you mentioned, but dark triad types tend to be expert con artists: the…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/22 05:23 PM
1

I mean sure, but I don't think this is gender specific necessarily. We like what we like, and what you consider attractive might differ from what I consider attractive. That's where chemistry and having core values/mutual interest plays a big part.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 04:09 PM
1

I encourage you to face those demons right now. Talk to a therapist, find good self help books that aren't cheesy, figure out the root of it. it won't magically fix it, but the knowledge will help you understand where these issues come from and provide the skills that you need. There is no shame in being sensitive, but take control and start regulating those emotions because if not, they will certainly control you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 04:08 PM
0

I dated who I thought was "the wholesome, nerdy good guy" and it devolved into a mess. His insecurities ran deep, he became jealous and went through my phone, he cheated and got re-engaged and remarried within months. I found out that it was an act, and trying to be "a good guy" was his entire identity. He was mostly seeking validation and he is seriously addicted to love. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 04:39 PM
1

Not actively, but only when topics like this come up or he and I have talked about it, if that makes sense. I don't remember the details vividly even in long relationships, and that's wild to me. but this is the most consistent sex I've had (fiancé)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/22 03:04 PM
2

I thought so too, I guess PPD gave me a bit of anxiety! and I honestly don't think less of people who have more. I feel that people should date around their number (if that's a core value) out of comfort. My fiancé has been with around the same number of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 10:20 PM
1

Thank you so much! I am the lucky one. I adore him, and we take care of each other. I wish the same for everyone else that wants that, so I understand why a lot of people feel bitter or hurt/lost,
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 08:29 PM
1

I appreciate your response so much. It took a while, (an abusive upbringing had a lot to do with it) but once I realized that I have to determine my own value and not seek it externally it was truly a 180. I don't slut shame those who do want to have fun, but honestly? It just leaves you feeling emptier afterwards. Sex inside a meaningful connection is always better.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 08:27 PM
1

My pleasure. Also, hello fellow Texan!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 07:44 PM
0

That's what I've been told over here, amongst other reasons. I understand they see it as a "risky gamble" because they assume we can't "pair bond" but I've seen ego being listed as a primary reason as well. simply put, many guys just don't want competition or feel like they're going to be considered "the leftovers"
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 07:43 PM
5

I'm 37, I've been with 20 people (including girls) and I've been dating since I was 15. Like you said I've had long term relationships (a few that lasted between 1-2, one that was 5) and a bit of a slutty break after a heartbreak that I wish I could undo. sometimes it makes me sad that I didn't "wait" or I didn't do this or that, but I couldn't have and also have met my fiancé, since my last experience brought me to the US. I agree that if you're sleeping around for validation means something is…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 07:36 PM
1

I don't think they factor in age or being bi, from what I've noticed. But I could be wrong! from my experience there seems to be a lot of younger men with little to no sexual encounters, so naturally a woman with 10+ partners feels threatening
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 06:25 PM
4

Here? Anything over 10-15 from what I've seen/asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 06:06 PM
15

I'm a fairly high N count woman (at least by PPD standards) and I wish I could prove you wrong but I completely agree. The good looking partners were mostly selfish, and I sometimes regret falling for it, especially to validate my self esteem, because that never works. Now that I have my fiancé, not only is the sex and chemistry better, I feel valued and cared for in ways I never did before. It's all that more impressive because I can compare and he wins amongst all the others, by a landslide. a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/22 05:24 PM
4

Do I think it's okay to shame men that choose to date younger women? (given they're of legal age) No. there are double standards in place for sure. But this is assuming all men pursue and judge women solely based on looks and age. In my experience this doesn't tend to be the case, as much as people like discrediting women's efforts over here and reminding us that we are seen as nothing else but walking, aging vaginas. I can't speak for men, but I don't think most are being judged specifically fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:25 PM
22

Don't tell them our secrets!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 08:13 PM
1

A double standard as it may be (and I'm not arguing that) the irony behinds the reasoning comes from the fact that women believe that high value men won't respect them if they have sex right away and make them "chase" them. I see this in traditional/FDS ideology all the time. Growing up I was told the same, that a man wouldn't respect me for getting in bed fast. Like the "hunt" would be over and they'd lose interest. But usually women still want to get laid, so since "low" value men weren't long…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 04:09 PM
2

Absolutely. And people look at you like a jerk for taking care of yourself, but there's a point you have to set boundaries and prioritize your own emotional and mental health. I'm so sorry you had to go through that as well. I'm glad you came to that realization too. So many people get into relationships hoping their partner will magically cure them/validate them, without much accountability.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 02:23 AM
3

The nerdy part I loved, but the constant emotional breakdowns and lack of self esteem gets old. There's so much you can do for a partner, before they pull you down and drown you alongside them unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 01:31 AM
4

Fiancé is from the US, 6'4 and around 230. Swimmer body meets dadbod belly, which he hates but I love. I'm chubby myself and 5'2, so it works. Nice to have a partner heavier than me that can pick me up. Average mexican man is between 5'4 and 5'10, (rare occasions and certain areas they do make it pass 6) light tan, dark hair dark eyes. Average built with overweight being common.we do have blond and blue/green eyed Mexicans too, of course. But that's not people's general go to when they think of …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 05:16 PM
4

What a day to have eyes, this is pure, cringe-filled comedy
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 12:46 PM
1

Girl you are indeed very hot! And congratulations on your engagement as well
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/22 04:39 AM
–

Joke's on you, they do the same with other women too. (Sorry this happened to you, by the way) I've struggled to keep friendships with women because I've been used in the past myself as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/22 05:20 AM
1

So.. no comments on the rest? The fact that it's truly not a movement to "kill all men" ? And So? The same can be said for people choosing to abort women instead, which is something that happens and it's proven through statistics, but I guess that doesn't fit your narrative. Have a good night, dude. I have work
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 12:55 AM
1

I searched for the hashtag on all my social media accounts and google, it appears to have started as satire in 2013, that got out of hand. Some say it's hyperbole, and more of a manifestation of deeply rooted distrust. I don't think it works as such personally, and I don't doubt some take it literally. I did find a lot of people mocking the hashtag, rightfully calling it hate speech and the fact that saying "kill all men" is misandrist and deranged. Found a ton of articles condemning it, too. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/22 12:25 AM
2

Obviously this is absurd and how is it even a thing? I've literally never heard of this happening. except maybe for Chinese laws that prevent people from having more than two kids? Like what even is this
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 11:01 PM
1

You call them excuses and are choosing to get personal, shrug clearly it's part of the law and our system wether we like it or not. There are a giant number of ramifications that would come into play if men could choose wether they wanted to be financially responsible or not. I find it incredibly funny that you accuse me of "parrot" (lol) them back, when most of the content in PPD is copy-pasting bogus studies to prove how women are evil and this is a matriarchy, and I get the same responses ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 10:59 PM
1

That's funny. Except the repercussions or choosing to have or not a baby, are very different. Do you think most men would choose to be financially liable? even with the system in place, they find ways to escape and avoid paying. escaping financial responsibility on a person you brought to life just because it inconvenient. It's a responsibility that should not be taken as lightly. I'm pro choice. Do I think is dumb women choose to have accidental pregnancy babies instead of an abortion due to re…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 10:40 PM
3

I don't know what to tell you, this is just one problem in a series of convoluted social structures with multiple ramifications. the burden of pregnancy lies on women, as well as the responsibility of the upbringing for the most part. is it unfair that the fathers can't choose wether they want a kid or not? Of course, but you can't force a woman to get an abortion, just as you can't force her not to get one. I wish we weren't the ones that carried the crotch goblins, but alas, nature. Men have a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 10:22 PM
4

Who is exclusively blaming men on these pregnancies? I personally believe it takes two people to have sex and two people to get pregnant, the responsibility should be therefore shared. contraceptive fails. No form of contraception (besides abstinence) is 100% fail proof. You also bring up a interesting point. There are several forms of contraception that rely exclusively on women and have terrible side effects: hormonal changes, weight gain, pain and numerous serious health risks like trombosis …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 09:19 PM
3

That's something that should definitely be talked about beforehand, even if it isn't sexy. "What would happen in case of an unwanted pregnancy" would save people a lot of headaches and money.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 08:17 PM
3

I mean I agree, it's an activity we take lightly that has some serious potential life altering repercussions, (and pregnancy is just one of them) for both parties involved. But I can only imagine the legal ramifications of needing a document before you have sex, it would certainly be tricky. Maybe we need some little cameras and say "I consent to this" ala the tv show "upload"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 08:15 PM
3

Hey, I'm pro choice. but unfortunately a lot of people aren't. That's the morality part of it. Even when it's available, not everyone chooses one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:51 PM
19

"fairness" is off the table when abortion laws/bans continue to be the norm, even in 2022 America. It's not always as simple as "just get an abortion". both people choose to have sex, knowing the risk of pregnancy. there are a multitude of moral and legal caveats in place that can and often prevent women from terminating a pregnancy. Why should she alone face these consequences of an act that involved two people? And even if that still seems unfair, the truth is, you're now involving a third per…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 06:11 PM
2

You're absolutely right, but no one is telling you or anyone else that they should? I'm just explaining potential reasons as to why they do these things. The irony is that you're describing pretty much the general complaint from women as well: taking care of emotionally broken/stunted men. being emotionally inept and not addressing your trauma or working on self improvement isn't gender specific.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/22 04:33 PM
3

There you go!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 10:20 PM
2

It's really sad once you realize this. So many times I've heard people drop others because they don't feel that high anymore, that new relationship energy that is mostly a chemical response. But once that new car smell wears off on the new partner well.. it's time to repeat. I see this happen at a mini level in men and women not settling down on OLD and ghosting each other, hoping for the next best thing. Steady life isn't often exciting, (at least not like the toxic ones can be) but you get a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 10:10 PM
2

And the dangerous part about dopamine, is that you require a higher risk for a higher reward. it can get you stuck in pretty toxic and dangerous routines and behaviors looking for the next fix, and discard perfectly good relationships because you feel you need more from life. I also agree on social media playing a huge part. There was even a study that showed that you get a little bit of dopamine release when someone comments/likes a photo, so more and more people live online and curate a life t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 10:06 PM
4

I use Chad for -insert toxic man- not necessarily a definition of six pack 7 feet sorta guy. And I addressed your observation as to why they go back. I can't know exactly why every single woman does something obviously, but the CMV part of it that I'm responding to is where you say women are lying. I don't think they are. Most times they truly want a guy who will treat them right, They're just wrongfully thinking they can get it from someone who they believe has "potential" it's a bit hero compl…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 05:34 PM
20

I think you have some okay points, but do what a lot of men around here seem to do: conflate two different things and reach a conclusion that's a bit myopic. "see, women date abusive Chads, they don't really want good guys, so they must be lying" most women do want to have a healthy relationship and be secure and feel valued, but they can and often get trapped in unhealthy ones for a mirad of reasons. The most common I've noticed: 'Florence Nightingale' syndrome someone who is a 'fixer' falls in…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/22 05:07 PM
1

Why do we shame others: Just one article on how shaming doesn't help children: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.mother.ly/parenting/why-shaming-children-doesnt-work/%3Famp%3D1 One from 2013 from psychology today, underlining the difference between discipline and shame: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-gender-ourselves/201304/dont-shame-children-in-pursuit-discipline%3Famp A more recent one, from Harvard health. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/think-hard-before…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:48 PM
1

I'm genuinely not arguing that everyone should be forced to date someone they don't want to, for whatever reason they choose. And you're right, I wouldn't be with someone that shames me. The point I'm trying to make is that while the intention is good, the method doesn't usually have the intended results: like a parent being overly strict and controlling a teenager that would choose to rebel in ways they may not have, if they felt supported instead. Aggression may not be okay, but it's still pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:08 PM
1

Visceral disgust is something that can be processed if people stopped to think about why they feel a certain way. Many men have told me it's because they simply don't want to be compared, or they don't want competition. or that they feel jealous. Jealously is a visceral reaction that is socially learned, for example. promiscuity being what is breaking the fabric of society is a lazy reach. People have the need to connect in a time that more people are struggling with it. Regularly testing for ST…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 06:17 PM
1

Huh. I guess I've been oblivious to this. I know we perceive people differently, you also forgot to add that women experimenting: sexy, men experimenting: gay, disgusting etc. I think part of it boils down to how toxic masculinity can be, and it extends to toys,
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 04:59 PM
1

I think you're absolutely right. I don't believe most people rack N counts in the hundreds. (not slut shaming anyone, that would be impressive ? ) I just also don't think 5-10 partners by the time you're 35+ is too high. But everyone has their own threshold and parameters for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:38 PM
1

Thank you. I honestly do admire you for waiting. Sometimes I wish I did wait a bit longer. Well, for the past 4 years it's only been with one guy (fiancé) and I'm very happy about it. While I'm not ashamed of my past, I made mistakes since I was in a very dark place, but I'm much better after working on myself and going to therapy. A lot of guys here seem to think we can't stop dating around/cheating on our partners, but my past made me appreciate how good I have it now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 07:28 AM
0

That's good to know! I think we look pretty cute together, if I may say so myself
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 04:08 AM
1

Making the decision to wait until marriage is absolutely valid, and does not make you an incel. It's your choice, and it has to be respected. I'm sorry that has been your experience, because that is something I would never say to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:04 AM
5

fair enough. I don't understand the homophobia, personally. Except maybe some unfortunate take on masculinity that prevents women from seeing bisexual men as viable partners, in a culture that has celebrated women being bisexual (or performative bisexual: as in kissing their girlfriends but they're not gay) as "hot" and men who do the same, as not. But I do think that is slowly changing. Sexuality is more and more perceived as a spectrum, maybe it's the people I surround myself with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:03 AM
2

Men have 100% the right not to date someone. Like my lord guys, drop the straw man approach. I know it's hard to read nuances, but come on. no one is telling you that you should or shouldn't do something -and that's exactly the point. Let people live life the way they want to. that includes dating or not dating who they please. But that doesn't make anyone disgusting/wrong/broken, like what.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 03:00 AM
2

Who? Who are these women? Do you mean men being bisexual? Or experimenting? Because that wouldn't be a problem for me either. While I'm sure they exist, I've literally never met one single woman that said "if he had a one night stand, I'm out"
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:49 AM
1

I had a bit of fun, honestly. Offered to send my "slut" mug that he lost his mind over. and apparently my fiancé is.. being cucked by me and I would also reject virgins? It's all wild to me. I truly feel bad for them
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:36 AM
2

I think you're right. I should remember Reddit is a bit of an echo chamber, I'm just baffled because reality outside of it is so vastly different, at least for me
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:35 AM
2

Absolutely. The difference is, that I don't go around telling people who want to date only others who have not had a lot of sexual partners "disgusting" or Broken" Sure, it's hard not to judge others. I'm not mad at people for wanting to date those with similar counts to them, but there is a lot of hypocrisy and double standards around (don't mean you, in general)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:33 AM
1

Ohhh you're a virgin, and you've been rejected for it. That sucks man, no one should be judged for the number of partners or lack thereof. It says nothing about your ability, anyone can learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:29 AM
1

Haha I've dated virgins in my past, what does that have to do with anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:27 AM
1

Ohhh I just googled this now!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:26 AM
1

Oh you should see my inbox right now! I'm giggling
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:21 AM
2

is that the case? Maybe is because most of the women I know, including myself, don't judge men based on number of partners. But of course apply the parameters/boundaries that you choose, it's not that i don't respect that or expect people to agree with me/my life or choices, It's just incredibly disheartening when I feel like some men here believe women should be punished for getting in relationships/having their heart broken/enjoying sex, or maybe even have one night stands. That it prevents th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:20 AM
2

I appreciate you pitching in, And yeah, I can see why that is annoying. (Being perceived that way) I agree. Be committed, don't cheat/be deceitful and communicate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:14 AM
2

I mean, I disagree with you BUT I appreciate your civil and non triggered approach, which seems to be a rare occurrence over here. How is having sex trading your vagina for a relationship? Like what is even that? Most women have sex inside of relationships, they just sometimes you know, don't work out. I'm 37, which means that if I had a few 2-5 year relationships in my life since I was 17, I can have more than a couple of sex partners. you seem to think women are collecting guys in the hundreds…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 02:06 AM
2

It's because they're not in relationship/have been rejected and most men don't handle rejection well -like at all. (I mean obviously this isn't gender specific, but it's mostly men who can turn dangerous/violent when rejected) that's where the hate comes from. If they can't have it, women shouldn't have it either- so it's easier to convince themselves that we are dirty/wrong/evil sluts. "Fine, I don't want you anyway" sort of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 01:43 AM
8

Best thing I've read in a while: "honestly the best marketing scheme in history is men successfully getting away with calling women the "more emotional" gender for like, EONS, because they've rebranded anger as Not An Emotion" -Claire Willett
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 01:30 AM
6

The obsession with the N count around these places is so funny. Maybe it's because I'm about to be 37, and everyone I know (or most people anyway) in their 30s and 40s don't focus on that, but it's Just my inner circle obviously. I've never been in a relationship where I was asked "how many people" I've slept with or shamed for having experience. I've never judged a partner for their sex life (or lack thereof) if people are safe, test regularly and communicate openly, I don't see the harm. There…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 01:26 AM
2

It's all about punishing women who had sex/fun with other men. that's why you see so many "N count" posts, they're obsessed with policing women's sex lives and convincing us that we are now tainted, broken and unable to "paid bond". It's misogyny at its finest, with FOMO and resentment.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 01:21 AM
1

Some of the lack of empathy comes from simple ignorance. Most men aren't aware of women's experiences, just as women aren't aware of men's. We tend to be selfish and focus on what happens to us and closely around us. But empathy shouldn't be conditioned to reciprocity. I care about others without them having to care for me, because my morality dictates that for me. I believe we owe it to one another, but that's just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/22 12:36 AM
1

I really don't mind. It can be frustrating to face negativity, but being afraid to comment because of the negativity is another way in which we can get silenced.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/22 05:08 AM
3

Another way to dismiss what we feel, I get that all the time too. That and "but men suffer more from violence" "men kill more men" (when I mention femicide) "men are seen as disposable" etc. It pains me that this is your experience from an early age. that this is what most of us have to go through, and I'm sending you a big hug. Complex issues that aren't solved by "but she/he did it too" but she/he started it"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 03:21 AM
2

I really appreciate your comment, and for reaching out. First of all I want to say I'm deeply sorry this has been your experience. And I'm sorry especially someone told you that your SA was your fault in any way. that's incredibly awful, and in line with what I mentioned about how a lot of men on those forums think "women basically are asking for it" and "deserve it" no one deserves it. Unfortunately I know more women that have dealt with Assault, than not. I've also experience it myself multipl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 02:50 AM
2

that just feels dismissive and guarded, and I get why. I understand your frustration to some degree. I truly don't believe we are wonderful no matter what. we are assholes, emotionally immature, entitled, abusive and downright manipulative and terrifying just like men can be. Is it unfair that we get treated differently? Yes. But I genuinely believe Inter-sectionalism is the only way we can improve the relationship we have between genders. I know it's stupid idealism, but I feel that a lot of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 02:19 AM
3

The problem is this is not the way it's generally perceived, it's a public image issue. I understand it means that to you and that objectively you don't hate all women or any woman necessarily. but If I haven't been exposed to this definition even though I've been more involved with it, way more than your average woman especially outside of Reddit's echo chamber then I can see why people can be apprehensive/negative and dismiss TRP, including all the positive aspects of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 01:56 AM
1

Having a different take/opinion doesn't mean I'm arguing. I thought this was called purple pill -debate-? Like of course you can disagree with me dude, I'm just trying to share a different perspective. And I have read red pill, not only comments by passing. I talk to men who identify as red pill, and have had some good conversations. I've read books and blogs that address it, both in favor and against. I know it's nuanced and it centers a lot around self improvement, which I fully support. But I…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 01:44 AM
1

I did, that's why I mentioned it-twice. I know you don't mean that rape isn't worse, duh. But I genuinely don't believe most men here use AWALT to represent "that some women are like that so they have to protect themselves" It's more of a reactionary "a few women hurt me, so now I want them to feel the pain I feel" Of course I can't speak for men/or know what all men feel. Because I do realize men are not a monolith, and we don't coin "AMALT"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 01:14 AM
2

While I understand the hyperbole, protecting yourself because you could be sexually assaulted (when by the way statistically is almost bound to happen, which is worrisome on its own) versus worrying that women will break your heart is a bit flawed. Women risk getting their heart broken and being used all the time, while also having to worry about being potentially raped. Double whammy. Again, I understand your hyperbole but you sort of made an interesting point by accident: women have to navigat…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 01:06 AM
1

Your third edit got me murdered, haha. I constantly notice the complains and think it's a way to "get back" at women for rejecting them and choosing the Chad guys. It's FOMO meets envy meets nice guy "well I'm too good for you anyway, whore" mentality. That, and a desire to punish women for what they think is us being rewarded by a society that benefits us disproportionately, disregarding the fact that society had benefited them over us for centuries, but they don't want that to change. Sexual l…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 12:54 AM
1

They're super anti porn, sex work and bdsm, too. It's one of feminism's most debated and strangest disagreements. Apparently women who enjoy anything besides vanilla sex are deeply disturbed and re-enacting trauma? You're either a victim of the patriarchy and oppressed, or superior to men because they're gross immature children and you're a goddess. Be free But also be dependent on him. He has to pursue you, but play games. It gives me whiplash reading FDS
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 02:27 PM
1

I'm 5'2, dad is 5'7 or maybe under, mom is equally tall as him and got married in flats so she wouldn't be taller. Brother is also 5'6/6'7. I love my dad and my mom made a great call marrying him, he in's a fantastic man. My brother is another story, but he sucks as a person, height isn't the problem. Fiancé is 6'4. he is going to look hilarious in the family pictures in our wedding
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 05:27 AM
1

I said the same thing. It gave me the impression that they feel they deserve special treatment for... being women, and having had a "bad time dating" no honey, we all work for what we want. Sometimes we make bad investments it happens, but no one is just naturally entitled to being cared for/paid for/attended to without anything in return
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 05:23 AM
1

It's pretty fun, but also somewhat depressing. I just keep repeating "please, therapy does wonders" around both places, and purple pill usually, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 05:19 AM
1

Absolutely, you know, as much as we collectively fight on these parts or the internet and blame one another for our dating misfortunes, if we paused to understand what the other person was feeling we could realize we go through the same pain: rejection, fear, insecurities, and just wanting to connect. Hang in there. I don't know your age, but things didn't get better for me until my mid thirties and letting go of people who didn't respect me took a while. Set your boundaries, believe we truly ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:36 PM
1

I'm truly very sorry, that sounds like an absolute nightmare. No one deserves to be treated poorly, and just because you're not skinny it doesn't mean you are not allowed to have standards and being in a healthy relationship. I do understand your pain to some degree, I've been in toxic relationships because I thought I couldn't ask for more, (or they thought I should be grateful since they paid attention to me even though I was bigger) and it got pretty bad at times. I'm sending you a big hug. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:25 PM
2

I'm so sorry you also dealt with this and continue to deal with this, I genuinely do. I don't know what to tell you except internalized fat phobia is REAL. I honestly love bigger guys, but I've been rejected by them because they want skinny women, so I've noticed exactly what you're describing. All I can think of is internal biases and self hatred. There are awful women at any size, that's for sure. But no wonder you resent them! it's such a silly measure of value to be judged solely on looks bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:09 PM
1

I don't think there's necessarily a correlation between looks and FDS/ TRP. Some of them are quite attractive, but I find both of them cringey for the most part, except they both do make some valid points.. it's like self awarewolves, almost there, but not quite. In my opinion, it boils down to responsibility that neither wants to take. FDS blames other women/laziness/porn addiction and especially "low value men" and focus very little (from what I've seen) in self improvement, it's more of a ser…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 10:03 PM
2

It's refreshing to hear this. as someone that grew up with a lot of insecurities and body dysmorphia. I was born and raised in Mexico, and even though we have a lot of obesity I was always judged because of my body I see a lot of fat phobia on Reddit especially coming from red pill/black pill men, but my experience IRL has been that like you said, men tend to like my shape: curvy, big hips/butt, smaller waist. Also at almost 37, even eating healthy for the most part and staying moderately active…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 09:39 PM
1

I don't know either. I know very attractive women who are over 150, but they're proportional and fit. It reminds me of women who say men HAVE to be over 6'0 when they're very short, because someone decided that was the number, and I think same goes for women over 120-130 pounds for a lot of guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 08:55 PM
2

Haha, I mean I do, but fat also goes to other places I wish it didn't, and skips places I wish it went to, ha.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 05:51 PM
1

I'm sorry, English is not my first language and have not idea what "got a fatty" means?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 05:45 PM
4

That is me, I'm definitely overweight, but carry it very well. working on it, Covid has me at 40 pounds over what I would prefer. And absolutely. It's so sad to know you guys suffer from this too. I personally prefer chubby men, and I've been rejected by them the most! Insecurities are a bitch indeed.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 05:16 PM
2

It happens way too often, but a lot of guys over here think we are dating Chad and ignoring them. No, we truly think chads are the only ones that may want us, because they're well, pursuing us, if that. And honestly I used to question anyone who would be interested in me, for the longest time. self esteem plays a huge role, and even though I see empathy towards men in places like the subreddit "whereallthegoodmen" (where literally rule number one is not to shame any men, since they say they are …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 04:53 PM
-1

No, I totally understand that! My fiancé has neck issues indeed (before me, but I'm sure I don't help) I stay on my toes when I kiss and extend as much as I can/wear heels as often as I can so I'm not making it worse. sometimes I wish I was at least a bit taller, but I do love our height difference because I can climb him like a sexy, meaty tree.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 03:16 PM
3

Overweight woman over here, I used to have issues dating, because I would Stop myself with insecurities. I was sold the notion that I was disgusting to everyone, until I realized men are not a monolith and some do prefer my body type. (45-35-48 for reference, still proportional but bigger) mostly ass/thighs, I've been told I have a pretty face. It's just speculation, but when you believe you suck and are a troll, you don't put yourself out there. You don't realize when someone is hitting on you,…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:56 PM
3

You can certainly attract the wrong kind of people, for instance, narcissistic types love empaths. Introverts are drawn to extroverts, etc. Having said that, a lot if not most women don't realize they more than likely are doing and saying things that affects them as well, as in there's accountability in our actions. I had to understand my own toxic behavior and what I was attracted to and why, so I could stop dating my mother (in terms of pathology/toxic behavior)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:38 PM
1

Hey now, some of us DO put effort and work in our emotion regulation. I'm very into non violent communication, accountability, therapy, etc. I'd say there's an okay amount of us out there, we just display emotions differently or seem "more" emotional. Emotionally immature people are a drag and incredibly draining, so I understand this though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:34 PM
2

Off topic but: Thank you for mentioning the weight variation. It always baffles me when some guys are like "she has to be 100 pounds, 150 is fat, ew!" Without taking into account: height, bone density, muscles and more importantly, proportions.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:29 PM
0

It's been interesting seeing how many in here do like chubby/curvy or at least as long as we aren't morbidly obese. I'm not skinny and it's always made me feel nervous and undesirable. but I'm proportional, (as in smaller waist, bigger hips/butt, smaller breasts, dark hair dark eyes, tattoos. Artistic, smart-ish. I'm my fiancé's type according to him. Requirement: Kind, smart, funny, taller than me (as in 5'6-5'10) not too skinny. I prefer chubby guys. I don't like muscular. Any ethnicity. Prefe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:19 PM
3

Not who you asked, but: Sex laying down isn't really a problem, but we really can't have sex standing up unless I'm propped up somewhere, or being held up. Shower sex is also hilariously difficult. (Im a bit chubby so this makes me nervous) height: im 5'2 he is 6'4.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:03 PM
1

Aw man, I'm 5'2 and my fiancé is 6'4. I always wonder if he would rather I was taller, but he says he loves how short I am. It comes with some fun slight disadvantages, so I get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/22 02:00 PM
1

I think a lot of people have explained it, you usually get into it once the fore play starts. I truly enjoy intimacy with my fiancé, but I may not be fully thinking of sex until he starts touching me, then I'm truly enjoying it if he is. But no one "should" do anything they don't want to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/22 10:17 PM
1

I'm so glad RP and PPD didn't exist when I was a teenager, I had enough body dysmorphia, awkwardness, self hate and eating disorders as is! What should a woman do? It's not as easy as "lose weight" I tried for decades believe me, I worked on myself as a person instead. If you measure us both my shallow/straight up looks: I'm 5'2, curvy-overweight (with around 50 extra pounds, mostly on my hips and ass) dark hair, dark eyes. Mexican/Cuban, He is 6'4, white, blue/green eyes, great beard and around…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/22 03:38 PM
1

Oh I see your point, now. yeah, how I wish that was the case!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 05:06 AM
1

Who says the patriarchy doesn't exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 04:58 AM
1

yawn unrealistic and stereotypical portrayals of manhood in culture/media The disproportional laws that benefit women when it comes to children/custody Men in the lgbt community, homophobia, the idea of "how to be a man" and "what is manly" Men being perceived as disposable/going to war. I could keep going on, but I'm just finishing up work and I'm tired. you also made up your mind about who I am thinking I'm choosing victim mentality, when I'm stating a very valid point about how even though vi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 04:57 AM
1

The "men are more likely to die by men" line is tired, man. and it doesn't even relate to what I'm saying. Men are more violent and kill each other, sure, statistically speaking. But they're not murdering each other FOR BEING MEN. We even have a word for it, femicide. I think you're missing the point entirely because of reciting red pill points verbatim. 1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men, have been injured by an intimate partner. 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 04:29 AM
1

I'm calling the double standard on both sides of the equation, obviously there are things skewed in favor of women/that benefit women, but saying that all of our double standards strongly favor women and not men, is not factual. a quick stroll through these places will show you how much vitriol, hate and critique women face. not mentioning the risk of being literally murdered by men, and still the primary victims of sexual assault. (And no need for whataboutism, of course men are and can be vict…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 02:06 AM
0

We are stuck in the same society, with equally disturbing double standards and unfairness. Why is it women's job to educate men about the ins and outs of dating? Resentment can definitely turn into entitlement, when you feel like you should be able to date. Women are not a monolith, we don't all date chads and crave six packs, yet constantly I see comments on how fucked up it is that AWALT. blame the society and the system that put us here, I'm all up for it. But we are just as trapped and annoy…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 11:11 PM
2

It's interesting that you mention this because I had a similar conversation with my fiancé. He used to pedicab when he was in college and he was constantly groped by much older women, it's gross that we've allowed that behavior for so long. if it was a man grabbing a female pedicab driver they would've faced legal repercussions. I'm sorry you've been basically sexually assaulted, because that's full on assault. it's a terrible double standard. Although you could easily overpower them doesn't mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 04:50 PM
2

I appreciate your take on it and responding, my frustration isn't directed at you, although it may seem so in online places. Both genders are jaded and have emotional baggage, and I understand men don't necessarily have it easier when it comes to OLD or dating in general, but "being a woman for a day" comes with more dangerous and unwanted attention than not, and this is my experience and those around me. I'm an average looking woman, not ugly but not a model-type, so I can't Fathom the scale of…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 04:07 PM
1

I also never said that creepy men weren't going to find women attractive, or that we should have a way to prevent that. You like what you like, which goes for women too. But why can't we be at least try to work on changing the culture and have to keep women away from certain space instead? Or worse, turn a blind eye? I've received comments like "don't be on dating apps" or "cyber bullying doesn't exist if you close the computer" from people here, and it's so myopic. I don't think a lot of men re…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 03:33 PM
1

Alright friend, I can see you're hellbent on that, and disregarding any logic I send your way, so I'll leave you be, while politely agreeing to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 12:49 AM
1

...and Your point is? Mugshawtys is a Twitter/Instagram account with over 250K followers and it's all mugshots of hot women. "The page shows the mugshots of model-like felons posing and smiling The women featured on the page were booked for marijuana possession and DUI Comments on photos include 'I'm gonna bail her out' and 'she's a cutie let her go" How is that any different?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 12:46 AM
1

How did women turn him into a rich person? That he has conventionally attractive traits and he was able to become a model because the industry decided to give him a job? He isn't even truly famous. You're just making my point, if anything. Forgiving/forgetting someone's bad traits based on attraction isn't exclusively a female thing. But you're also conflating two different things. I can say hey, Ted Bundy is hot! But.. he is a serial killer, so maybe don't date him. And I can be a nutcase and w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 12:39 AM
1

So because he is a convict, what? He is still objectively good looking, and women can ogle as much as men ogle and talk about women's bodies. There has been multiple mugshots of hot women with equally thirsty comments. There are entire industries (sex industry) based on men traveling and lusting over women no matter their socioeconomic/criminal background based exclusively on hotness. both genders judge people based on looks, but for some reason men here expect us to uphold to higher standards, …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 12:31 AM
1

Women don't magically forget bad traits because a man is hot. It's scientifically proven that we find conventionally attractive people more trust worthy, and it goes for both genders. Also in experience, attractive men tend to be more sure of themselves/more extroverted and take initiative and yes, of course attraction plays a part. I'm not trying to excuse that, we all like what we like. But some of you are massive hypocrites when it comes to calling us out for judging you by your looks, becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 12:21 AM
1

Are you implying that being attractive and receiving unwanted attention from creepy men has to be a given? I'm not talking about attention/advances in general, I understand that you can't turn off specific people so they won't find you attractive, that's ridiculous. But stating that basically women have to live with dangerous behavior is... problematic. It makes me think of the photos and videos of women being assaulted and almost killed by gangs of men in Egypt because "they couldn't control th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 07:50 PM
3

We want to be invisible to creepy/predatory behavior, not invisible that we cease to exist and can't have partners, or feel desirable/loved/form Connections. I'd think this would be common sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 06:25 PM
1

Although I agree with you that it isn't "socially accepted" that doesn't mean that it does not continue to be the norm for the most part, with the exceptions, of course. The fact that there's a lot of critiquing only reinforces the fact that the overwhelming majority of women continue to struggle with this issue, so when I see guys complaining about how "difficult they have it when it comes to pursuing/dating" it only reflects a tiny part of the experience. Yes, it's obnoxious to have to be expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 03:32 PM
1

Interesting, as someone that has been dating since she was 15 and married/divorced, we are on opposite sides of the experience. But what you bring to the table is important, and just as valid and valuable.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 03:15 PM
1

Oh okay! Sorry I misread it, years of being a woman on Reddit has me on edge apparently, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 03:10 PM
3

I didn't ask a question though? I know you're calling me out on the irony that I am mentioning not having an entire picture -and I don't- that's part of the point I'm making. While also just bringing my two cents on some of the issues I think are a bit short sighted. But men are absolutely welcomed to tell me the things I'm missing to understand them, as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 02:58 PM
5

Eh, I agree and disagree with parts of this. I do also believe that lack of Inter-sectionalism is part of the reason why we are here. But culturally we have been made to believe we are against each other, "men are from mars, women from Venus" and although recognizing our obvious differences is important, most of the effort from either side (both whichever wave feminism and MRAs, has been to prove that is their gender who in fact suffer more/have it worse. I don't think you or many men realize th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 02:34 PM
2

It's hard to pick just one, but probably AWALT. Very frustrating to be all clumped up together, since many red pillers seem to think women are indeed a monolith. Any of us that provide other examples are considered "probably the exception to the rule" when in reality, most women are victims of the same system and oppressions men are subjected to. It seems that a lot of men on Reddit are not too fond of intersectionality, which in my opinion is one of the only ways to make any progress. we all ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 02:19 PM
1

I mean, I grew up in Mexico :) lived there for 30 years so I know it pretty well. It’s not as bad as people make it to be, my parents continue to live there (south) I don’t have a legal path to either Colombia or Chile, unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 10:03 PM
1

I’ll look into Spanish speaking countries, but Mexico isn’t a good option either. Except buying land there, which is way cheaper, so our plan is to eventually retire there. Thank you for the tips!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/21 03:49 PM
1

I think I’m around 12% I believe, but 40% damn that’s insane! Where would you suggest moving the money to? I’m new to all of this and I want to make sure I’m doing things legally, since I’m not a US citizen I would not want to screw things up!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/21 03:59 PM
1

I don’t think my taxes are that insane, a lot of my expenses are tax deductible. this year I qualified for multiple business aids and they’re forgivable. that’s also why I pay someone to figure it out for me, and I’m learning to invest. The freedom to not work a 9-5, choose my clients and own my space it’s worth it to me, personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 06:28 PM
1

Because the consensus seem to be that women don’t want to date guys who don’t make a lot of money. He does help, but I still cover the majority of the expenses: taking us on trips, paying for dinners, decorating the apartment, potentially buying a house, it’s all on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 02:42 PM
1

Of course I pay taxes, but I have a good company helping me, keeping my books too. Oh I would die if I had to pay 50% of my income in taxes! After paying them I still make more than him. What do you mean government subsidies? I’m still fairly new in this country so I’m learning.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 02:38 PM
3

I mean, doesn’t feel like it in Texas! :p If anything though, there’s a lot of machismo in my culture, and women expecting men to provide for them is still the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 12:22 AM
3

I get that, I also understand why many women are fed up with having to carry men financially and emotionally, since it’s becoming more and more common. A lot of men (not all, of course) expect women to still take care of the household almost exclusively, while also pulling their own weight financially, and being the “managers” that carry the burden of the executive functioning overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 11:56 PM
9

You mean since I’m not getting money out of it? Love, great sex, companionship, support, someone that cooks, cleans, that fixes things around the house and he does contribute with rent/utilities, I just cover more expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 11:14 PM
3

thank you! I’m very proud of my accomplishments ♥️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 10:57 PM
7

I’m Mexican and he is a US citizen, living in the United States. I make close to 3 times what he makes, so I take care of a lot of the bills and fun expenses.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 10:42 PM
10

I guess I’m a unicorn?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 09:30 PM
2

This is so very interesting to me! I’m 5’2 and around 170, all ass/thighs since I’m Latina, not much of a belly. My boyfriend is a white cis hetero male. he is 6’4 and conventionally attractive (to me anyway) he states that he had always preferred curvier women since he is tall/a bit chubby himself and fears he could hurt them. This made me feel surprisingly better. Also I think women are beautiful regardless of weight, but I feel like I’m in the minority of people when I share my experience her…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 07:02 PM
2

I knew FAT was going to be number one, It crushes my heart as a chubby girl trying her very best! In all fairness, I do have a boyfriend and he doesn’t make a lot of money, but I don’t think he is a loser at all. Maybe two “wrongs” DO make a right?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 05:23 PM
1

In the eyes of these Redditors? Hell no. I’m a non white, 5’2, 36 years old chubby tattoo artist. I’m opinionated, independent, college educated with a high N count. So pretty much the epitome of a “post wall” and very undesirable person, Ew. IRL? I’m emotionally stable and mature. I don’t have mental illnesses, no chronic pain or auto immune diseases, no kids. I’m smart, non jealous, I cook, make 3 times what my boyfriend makes and I don’t mind taking care of more of the expenses. (But we do sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 04:01 AM
1

Your strikes would be things that would be a “yes” for me, since they’re some of the things I love about my boyfriend (6’4, intelligent, married before, hates children) Very much depends on the woman. maybe younger ones would be a bit more bothered by this?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/21 03:49 AM
9

Thank you for this! I think leaving out age and any other considerations around this arbitrary threshold is a problem. I get that a 18-20 year old woman with double digits is high as opposed to one in her 30s. if a woman had ONE relationship a year in the span of 10 years, from 20 to 30 (and that’s being conservative, or accounting for long term-multiple year relationships) you can easily get to 10. My take is that women continue to be punished for having sex, especially since some men continue …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/21 05:10 PM
2

This is a horrible idea and religious propaganda-y. Your parents are old fashioned and you say you’re not religious but see their point? Which point, that people who went through a divorce (many times for very valid reasons like physical and emotional abuse) should be shamed on top of what they’re going through because they “failed” ? Am I understanding this correctly? A lot if not most marriages entered are just a contract, an agreement under the law that can be broken if both parts are not hon…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 02:13 AM
1

That’s friggin awesome man, I’m glad you’re helping people. I’m currently studding physiology to mix with tattooing, because I love helping people too. I’m in a stable relationship myself, so I’m around these places to enjoy a healthy debate and cringe at people’s horrible online dating experiences (which is usually rare, thanks for keeping it civil as well) And congratulations, 12 years is quite the long time! I’m glad you guys are together and happy. Thanks for the good wishes, I wish you the …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 11:30 PM
1

I don’t think prison is a good indicator, especially not in our criminal system. Prison rape happens to both men and women, across the board. Of course I know women also harm women, I never stated abuse or rape didn’t happen. I don’t see how this negates what I mentioned regarding women being primarily the victims of sexual abuse in romantic/strange settings. it’s a completely different problem, and it sounds like “whataboutism” to me. I’m all for being challenged and I love a good argument, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 08:08 PM
1

I know you think we have more privilege because of the power sex seems to have when we are younger, but let me tell you that’s not accurate for the majority of women, and it comes with a very high price. Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) in the United States have been raped at some time in their lives, including completed forced penetration, attempted forced penetration, or alcohol/drug facilitated completed penetration. Even with men under reporting because of shame, women unde…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 06:34 PM
1

I’m usually told I look 25-28, I’m Latina so I honestly think that’s why, that extra melanin! I am Chubby so there’s work to do, but I do love myself and my curves. Don’t let the bastards bring you down ;) I rarely use make up and I’ve noticed what you mean. A lot of 17-20 year olds looking 25-35, it’s unreal! Plastic surgery makes me think of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 05:41 PM
1

While I see the point you’re trying to make, I don’t see the direct correlation between having been promiscuos and this automatically making you a bad LTR partner. I see risks assessments and numbers being thrown around, I’ve had dudes copy paste me entire articles and percentages, but the reality is that you can’t really know what the outcome of a relationship is going to be. why do you think it only applies to women? Because men think sex is so readily available to us? Most women are still bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 05:37 PM
1

I’m mixed/dry now that I’m 36. The Peter Thomas Roth sunscreen is really good and light, has no perfumes added so I’ll ask him if he likes that. It’s not a cheap purchase, but worth it in my book Yeah it’s probably associated with fertility and youth ! Just like how we celebrate wider hips/breasts, we are animals under all of these insecurities, clothes and make up :P
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 05:23 PM
1

This is awesome, I saved your comment and will check the website and the products. Thank you so much truly! I have no idea why he is so threatened about smell Glistening skin is associated with youth, I used to hate my oily skin and now I’m happy because thanks to that, I don’t have wrinkles still in my late 30s
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 04:41 PM
1

This doesn’t answer the question of what a high n count is? everyone’s metrics are different. I don’t personally think for example, that 10-15 partners are a lot, but someone else will disagree. Maybe for you that’s a lot. You can’t know that “most” people don’t, since what we know it’s what gets reported, unless you’re personally inside people’s bedrooms. it’s known that women tend to underreport, and men to overreport. With all the obsession and attention centered around who we Fuck and the sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 04:38 PM
1

Thanks for the info! I’m 36 and people always asume I’m younger, but I know I should be taking better care of my skin. I should be doing better. I do love Peter Thomas Roth hyaluronic sunscreen, because of the texture, it’s oh so light and it doesn’t have a smell. I use an oil blend for my face at night, after washing with Peter Thomas Roth cloud washer. If you have any websites that you recommend let me know, I agree on the marketing of the other ones, it makes it difficult to filter. Trying to…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 04:07 PM
1

Oh absolutely, and I’m in a way better place than I was 10, 15 years ago. Setting boundaries for myself and working on accepting what I can and can’t change has made a ton of difference. i still have insecurities, but my motives changed: what I want for myself is centered truly around health and not how people perceive me. Everything diet and beauty related is full of deceit and pitfalls, especially for women. It’s easy to spend thousands and thousands of dollars trying to make ourselves feel be…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 03:28 PM
2

That’s very true, and honestly what a waste of life it is, obsessing over how you look and for being... human. I look back at my teen years and I feel sad thinking every time I didn’t wear a swimsuit or ate something I liked, because I felt shame. I remember a lot of pain and shame, mostly. Diet/culture obsession tries to eradicate everything that seemingly makes you “imperfect” from stretch marks to pores. But it’s a multi billion dollar industry centered on making you feel insecure, so they ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 03:18 PM
1

The diet culture/obsession is pretty damn evil and affects everyone now, both men and women. If you don’t have a plan to make lifestyle changes and your goal is to “look good in a bikini” of course you’re going to bounce back, and this leads to yo-yo weight that is even worse on your health and prevents you from losing weight later in life, ask me how I know this! I moved from Mexico to the united states and my country is just as screwed, fast food and soda mainly lead to an obesity + diabetes e…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 03:03 PM
1

You’re ex obese, of course. I understand this way better now. I’m really happy for you losing the weight (and I do mean it I’m not being sarcastic or facetious) and I never said it was impossible to achieve a healthy weight, but it’s maddening how many people judge and never really understand everything that takes part of this problem. Not to excuse it, but to understand it better. It makes you feel gaslighted, frustrated and alone. I’m sure you can relate with some of it. I’m not sure about tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 02:57 PM
2

Yeah bud, I don’t see what you’re arguing at this point. It’s very clearly tied to attraction for people. and weight is not something people just “do to themselves” at least not morbid obese levels. It’s tied to medical conditions and numerous different mental conditions and disabilities, so although technically we all have the “option” to lose weight, you’re bypassing the implications and factors involved in it. “Lack of self control” as the main reason is a common misconception. Being sexually…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 02:58 AM
2

Yeah, except not every relationship is worth the trouble. There is no need to stay beyond a certain point if it’s not working out. You know after months-a year, and sometimes partners cheat, die, move to other places, to name a few reasons. according to the numbers thrown around here, a high N count is anything after 3-5 partners, and that to me is conservative for someone in their 30s-40s. it reinforces the blame always shifted on women for choosing “wrong partners” aka “chads” or wanting to ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 02:28 AM
1

The reason why we didn’t have this before, was not because women were happier, it’s because divorce was a huge social stigma. Women couldn’t complain, or they wouldn’t be taken seriously. They had nowhere to go, no control over their finances. Financial independence and progress leads to independence as a whole. More experience makes you usually better at something. Unless you’re really bad at trying? Practice makes perfect. I’m a better partner to my boyfriend because of my past experience, and…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 02:20 AM
2

Yeah, using one article from the Atlantic as a way to back up a claim doesn’t seem like enough. but since I don’t have the time to share my resources, I’ll respond to it: In no part it really backs up the claim that the value goes down because these women had numerous sexual partners before, did I miss that part? people get bored in relationships after a while, this study mentions a couple being together for 20 years, which makes sense. The fact that it tends to be women is because men generally…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/21 01:27 AM
1

Nor does every fat person, unless you’re severely overweight ala “my 600 pound life” you’re just being hyperbolic. Not every form of weight gain is related to eating tacos, lack of self control or laziness. These are all common misconceptions. No one is even telling you to change your mind. Part of the point of PPD is to challenge people’s points of views by presenting counter arguments to hopefully make them see beyond their own assumptions. Responding by being dismissive and/or shutting down b…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 06:24 PM
2

That’s also a generalization. You can’t know that “over 80% of men” don’t favor fat women. Considering how high the number of people (including men) in the United States is considered fat, this would mean that the vast majority of people are not dating or hooking up, according to you. There are obvious health risks to being overweight, no one is arguing that. Smoking is a comparable indicator of health, so is drinking, yet nothing else causes this uproar. Can we at least acknowledge that fat wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 05:17 PM
1

Maybe it doesn’t seem like there is, but eating disorders, anorexia and malnutrition is prevalent too. The point again, is that we don’t focus on them. You’re allowed to have your preference and not find fat women attractive. Stating that “most” men aren’t, is a generalization. Maybe most men will pretend they’re not because of peer pressure? I’m overweight if I follow my BMI, but it’s mostly concentrated on my hips, butt and thighs: Places that are usually desired nowadays. Of course It’s still…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:34 PM
1

I don’t know what you mean, my fat has been carried in the same place from 20 to 35, I know exactly in which purse I left it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:24 PM
1

It’s not healthier, you just think it looks better. you can’t know people’s health just by just looking at them, unless the person is morbidly obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:21 PM
3

It’s been proven that being underweight is just if not more dangerous to people’s health (weakened immune systems, higher chance of stroke, fertility issues, osteoporosis to name a few) but we don’t hear about it, because the focus is always on people being bigger due to a general societal consensus of what’s deemed attractive. Which fine, but own up to it. You don’t have to like fat women, but don’t pretend it is because you care about their health.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:20 PM
5

This seems like quite the reach. If sex is something they value, (or that’s the implication since they’ve had it so much) why would it not be important? It boils down to the reason women have sex. I have a high libido so I throughly enjoy it with my partner. It hasn’t diminished even though I’m 36, if anything it’s gotten better. Dead bedrooms happen for a lot of reasons, mostly emotional, some form of conflict in the relationship , low self esteem, kids, etc. There is no guarantee that women wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 03:13 PM
1

I love the random jumping to conclusions, sure, bud. Huge slut. So many penises that I’m basically a piñata filled with stranger men’s spunk.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/21 02:48 PM
2

I could tell this was going to be a mess without even reading the comments first. The interesting thing, (and of course this is purely anecdotal) is that in my experience as a chubby girl myself, I’ve never struggled to find a date or have a boyfriend. I think it’s much more nuanced than most people think. It’s almost like this level of hate exists online and through the “locker room talk” which leads to a lot of men who are sexually attracted to bigger women and would even date them/fuck them i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 10:56 PM
1

I’ve tried. People who constantly post the same things aren’t usually receptive to new ideas or even a healthy discussion, so PPD feels very skewed in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/21 06:33 PM
1

this is a lot of information for me to reply back to, wish I had more time to be thorough. I agree and disagree with some of your points, but my point of view will always be skewed partially due to my own experiences, and isn’t that the case? I’m a woman, and although I can empathize with men’s struggles (and I do) I’m never going to fully know what it’s like to be one, and viceversa. I always hear how men have it worse, and it’s hard to agree or even accept it as a possibility, when you’re comp…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 11:04 PM
2

I just think it seriously hinders any possibility of actually discussing things in an impartial way, or to try to find a “middle” for these situations. The whole point to me is to be open to multiple points of view so I can challenge my own, but rarely anyone is receptive to this. Sometimes, including myself. I get that most of us are usually convinced that what we know should be perceived as “the truth” but as a not particularly bitter or misandrist feminist, like to hear from other people’s pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/21 12:58 PM
10

I wished it wasn’t April’s fools, because even though it’s hard to moderate by saying “no misogyny” restricting the number of posts mentioning the same tired argument and obsessing over women’s sexual pasts, would make it a more enjoyable place in which we could bring our opinions as well without being constantly attacked and berated. Maybe limiting the number of posts mentioning n count and trashing women to one day a week, but the truth is we need new discussions around, because it feels like …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/21 11:51 PM
2

I’m learning so much, thank you! What a long scientific way to say “I like it in the butt”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 04:35 PM
2

Hehe, “stuffed” I figured, or a lot of heat for being a size queen? I’m not saying smaller men don’t deserve love, of course. Oh I think you’re right! Funnily enough even though it’s very pleasant, I prefer that cul de sac stimulated from the wall that it shares from the back, anal sex is incredibly pleasant for me when done right, and it provides the most intense orgasms. (Paired with a toy, the womanizer ) it’s all about figuring what works for you, and to ask for it. Not everything works for …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 03:29 PM
2

From experience, a partner under 6-7 inches doesn’t do it anymore for me, unfortunately. Hard to describe, but like an itch you can’t scratch? I definitely prefer the feeling of fullness. My current partner says that he can get most of his penis inside, and that he experiences a “pinch” at the end, something I can feel too because of how his head is shaped. To me if feels like a pull. Unfortunately it ends up being like a reversed butt plug, and we haven’t mastered anal sex for that reason, haha…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:35 AM
2

I think it also depends on the cervix, I have a high cervix myself. Interesting, i think the funniest thing is when I discovered that vaginas extend like accordions, it now makes me think of it, ha
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 06:21 AM
1

I much prefer my current partner, but the chemistry is what makes the sex so great! Honestly you can work with (almost) any size. Too big is more of a problem than too small
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/21 05:45 AM
1

Haha I mean, it’s your choice obviously. if you’re religious and it aligns with your values that’s perfectly fine, and I’m sure it will make it easier, if you’re looking for someone who is also religious for instance. I don’t think necessarily straight women react more negatively to size as compared to bisexual women, hard to say, but in my experience, penis size or even involving a penis at all, hasn’t been necessary for me to enjoy myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 12:38 AM
1

I learned so much! I’m definitely not sorry. And any time :) honestly whoever cares for your penis size, Fuck them. (I mean not literally) work on your oral skills, how to properly use your hands/fingers and you can get a girl there. I’m bisexual and I’ve dated women, the sex was very satisfying without any penises involved!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/20 12:11 AM
2

No worries! There are multiple sizes for the penis sleeve/extenders check them out, they stretch so they can conform to your body. And yes, if you love someone size shouldn’t be a problem! There are so many ways to incorporate toys, fingers, games. my ex husband had a small (around 4 inches) slim penis and we were together for a while, the relationship ended for other reasons
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 11:10 PM
2

Girl on top so she can control the depth, you on top with the legs to the shoulders (if she is flexible) this allows for a deeper penetration. They also sell penis extensors, you won’t feel much but it’s a cool option if you’re up to it, they go over your own penis, like a sleeve. also if she likes butt plugs, having one simultaneously helps tighten everything up! Also, smaller /thin penises are perfect for anal sex :)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 10:38 PM
2

I have, some were great and some weren’t. Definitely depended on how the guy handled other aspects of sex/stimulation, oral sex, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 10:03 PM
2

In my experience bigger and slightly thicker has been better, but they can indeed be too big. My “sweet spot” is between 6 and 8. (15 cm to 20 cm) My boyfriend is shy of 8, and sometimes if we get too frisky I’m out of commission for a few days. But I’ve noticed that chemistry and love account for far more than size, since you can have a good time with smaller penises no problem. The opposite is also true, I’ve had bigger partners who weren’t as enjoyable due to lack of skill/desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/20 05:00 PM
2

I was around 10, a man masturbating in the bushes of a park grabbed me. Luckily, I was able to break free and run away with my 6 year old brother back home. I never told my parents. It was also the first time I ever saw a penis.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/20 08:59 AM
1

I feel you completely. Also know that I will probably not have what my parents have, they’ve been together for 38 years. Talked to both, and seemingly happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/20 04:59 PM
2

I think in a way it always have been scary, but now people have the freedom and resources to leave unhappy marriages more easily, as well as many other things involved with it. But I agree!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/20 04:15 PM
2

While that may be true for most, we add value to different things, and cheating still breaks trust, no matter the reason. Ironically my ex husband cheated in a “girly manner” and left me for the woman he cheated with. It’s hard for me to comment on this objectively because I’m poly, but even then people can be shitty. I think it’s hard to override monogamy and human nature
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/20 04:09 PM
3

There is a number of reasons why people cheat and/or leave, but it bypasses a lot of nuances in the relationships. I made dumb mistakes in my twenties, I’ve been cheated on, experience heartbreak. A lot of men here seem to be scared of it, but it helped me discern better, understand myself and my needs better, set boundaries, and overall become a better partner. you rarely become really good at something without trying and failing first. Not saying it’s a guarantee or that everyone needs to suff…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 01:40 PM
15

This is what’s so scary about getting indoctrinated by Red Pill ideas when you’re so young. They sell the notion that “all women are like that” and simply put, there is no way that this applies to everyone. Women can cheat and leave, men also cheat and leave. I know it’s scary to enter a relationship because you can potentially get hurt, but that’s the risk we take, both genders alike. All the pseudo science, statistics and logic won’t magically prevent this. Sure, some people are “more likely” …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 01:24 PM
3

We do, based on not only mutual attraction but mutual respect, love, communication. All foreign things for a lot of men on PPD!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 01:05 PM
1

I fully agree with you, I honestly was very susceptible to all that as a teen/young adult, I’m glad even though I still have a way to go, I’ve learned to accept myself more.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 03:34 AM
1

That’s why I said it’s not the point, but responded what they asked as well. This is because we feel pleasure in people’s pain, and “imperfections” since we think we should aim for perfection, especially celebrities who a lot of people idealize. Those magazines are trash anyway. They want you to love yourself, but also lose 30 pounds, “be yourself and love yourself single ” but also “tips to make him fall in love” etc etc, so indeed mixed messages galore I don’t know if it’s not changing, since …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/20 02:06 AM
0

How do you even go about this? Does it mean I have to find someone that fits a specific criteria decided by... whom? Reddit? Science? I can only date people that sorta look like me? I’m 5’2 and chubby, dark hair, dark eyes, mixed Latina, a lot of tattoos, small boobs (so pretty much close to the bottom of the attractive scale according to some) my partner is 6’4, white and a bit chubby, but otherwise conventionally attractive. he finds me attractive and tells me so every day. I tell him he is ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/20 05:37 PM
2

it truly depends on the values set in the relationship. Culturally we’ve accepted older men chasing younger women, We even write articles when celebrities “date women that match their age” and a lot of Red pillers admire DiCaprio for dating young models exclusively. We are never kind to women aging, only to men aging. Totally not the point of this post but I wanted to point out another double standard that can contribute. I’m 35 and I objectively look better than I did in my teens/20s. (Thank yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/20 05:22 PM
1

A quick glance at the level of vitriol overweight women get, can tell you a different story in my opinion. We obsess over our weights trying to please, I’ve had men deliberately say to me they’d “date me if I was skinny” when I was a teenager. I was bullied non stop for being a bit bigger, and while anecdotal, peer pressure is a real thing. Thick may be “in” but it has the specific type of thick that is mostly boobs, ass, toned like you mentioned. If only we could choose how fat gets distributed…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/20 01:44 AM
2

Yet we are not debating the potential health problems, since the scenario isn’t talking about rejecting a partner based on it. I understand the risks involved and I’m not dismissing them, but you and I both know the level of vitriol and disdain overweight people get doesn’t come from genuine concern. There are studies that show that being underweight has its own set of health problems and costs, and curiously reduces 4 years of people’s lives on average, just as being overweight. Anorexic women …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/20 02:29 PM
2

I truly appreciate you and this conversation , Reddit does tend to seem like a weird battlefield in which people want to be offended and 100% right over everyone else, the solipsism is intense. Having particular preferences is fine until it becomes obsessive, or it’s intentionally designed to undermine and make the people that doesn’t fit this type, perceived as less valuable or desired. And it goes equally for the notion that all women should be thin and without tattoos, just as much as all men…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 11:00 PM
2

I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with having preferences, the problem I have is with the idea that what you don’t like is inherently “stupid” or “wrong” as implied in the original post, or that we should all adhere to the same ideas and enjoy just one flavor of human. I think what you’re mentioning is the fetishization of certain characteristics (“I only have sex with so and so”) preferences are one thing, but that takes it to the extreme, and I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 09:07 PM
6

Did... did you even read what I posted? I literally say that it is absolutely okay to have preferences. I swear to God you guys either are that oblivious/repeating what you read, or just trolling. I even said that women that do that are equally shallow. At no point did I say that a woman that wants a 7.5 (whatever that even means) man is “allowed to” while a man can. this whole “but but.. women are unfair! Women are hypocrites!” Is getting super old, dude. Please try again.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 12:42 PM
14

I don’t even know where to begin with this. Why would men suddenly not “fucking fat chicks” make all women want to lose weight? If a guy told me the reason he wasn’t having sex with me is that shallow, I would automatically lose interest. You’re also not accounting for taste since -gasp- there are men who like chubby, fat and/or tattooed women. So is this implying only certain men would stop fucking us, or magically all of them collectively will suddenly change their taste? I don’t know where so…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/20 06:58 AM
1

You’re right, and you’re also pretty much describing privilege. In my opinion, privilege goes far beyond race. Some people have unfair advantages over others, it is how it is but it doesn’t mean we have to like it or not do anything about it, and the social unrest that has been growing showcases it. In this situation we can’t deny that attractive people have more dating opportunities, maybe less struggles (perceived at least) but what is the alternative? It’s not that people shouldn’t complain, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/20 04:29 PM
3

I think this is conflating two different things. If a woman explicitly ends a LTR to “sleep around” as you state, then it would be incredibly unfair and hypocritical of her to not expect a partner to do the same. What you’re describing is women enjoying themselves BEFORE they settle down, which I’ve seen a lot of men have a problem with here, and I won’t elaborate on this since it’s a different topic. If you don’t want to have a LTR you’re not obligated to. Who cares if she gets mad for being re…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/20 07:06 PM
1

You’re not wrong, thats indeed what it seems like. Everyone is offended if people don’t think or reason like them, and I prefer to be open to other people’s ideas and experiences since well, I can’t possibly hold the truth to everything and I’m wrong many times. That’s interesting. I was raised extremely catholic (Mexico) in a very macho society. I didn’t have sex until I was 19, and I was terrified of it. I was constantly told that sex outside marriage was evil, and it is not lady like to crave…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 01:18 AM
5

Incredibly arbitrary to have a clothing size preference for women, when every company determines how they choose to size their clothing and the same woman can wear different sizes amongst different brands. Sometimes up to 6 different sizes. how women carry weight also influences the way they look. A “fat” person can technically fit inside a size 6 pair of pants if they carry their weight at the top. I bet you and most people wouldn’t be able to guess how different the women who wear the same siz…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 12:56 AM
1

And you have every right to do so, and date who you please. I don’t think any rational human will argue against this, at least I don’t. Having a preference; heck even being ultra conservative/religious is fine. I may not like it, but I respect it. My point is that vilifying, harassing and shaming, even to the point of sending death threats to people for making their choices is a very different thing, and this extends to everyone. “Sluts” and “prudes” alike. Fighting for a right to have an opinio…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/20 12:35 AM
6

Thankfully I know reddit is not a representation of all men/most men, or I would lose my mind. A lot of the people arguing and obsessing over sex here are men, and it’s usually the men that don’t “get”to have a lot of sex themselves. there’s a pervasive feeling of unfairness, mixed with anger and loneliness at the root of it. I’ve always respected people’s choice to have sex or not. People’s moral compass and points of view on sex are to be respected, but their right stops when they try to contr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/20 06:19 PM
2

A relationship check in doesn’t sound romantic, but it’s a tool to work on yourself and your relationship, just like couple’s therapy. With therapy People set them weekly or bi-monthly for example, and putting it on a calendar and/or a specific time has more to do with busy lives. Some people even schedule sex, and it works for them. I do believe any relationship is transactional in a way. You both invest time and resources expecting something in return, and when needs aren’t being met across th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/20 03:55 PM
1

It is absolutely true, purchase at your own risk. After the fifth one I couldn’t button my pants any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:55 PM
3

It’s only bad when it’s anecdotal coming from women, not men, obviously (/s) Will do, thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:53 PM
2

I am a girl and love anal sex, I come harder from it. It can be painful without the proper preparation, lube and stimulation. But in my experience most men don’t care much for it, or once they try it they see it isn’t that different from regular sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 02:34 AM
1

Will definitely take a look. I want to have a proper response but it requires for me to read what you sent, I’ll watch the link first. Work has been intense but I will loop back around with my opinion as soon as I have good counter (and supportive) arguments. Definitely thank you for your time and the resources
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/20 01:51 AM
1

I really want to reply to you, I’m currently at work so I will circle back to it. Thank you for your insight and input! I appreciate your point of view
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 08:37 PM
3

Thank you, you seem sweet as well I try not to engage when it comes to bullying. I’ve been online for over 25 years and I still forget trolls are a thing, haha. I never attack or insult anyone here, or IRL. I value and respect other people’s opinions and points of view when there is clearly an intent to at least have a conversation about it, and no one is being attacked. I’ve had some pretty eye opening and amazing conversations here with people I disagree with, but we kept it civil. they are as…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 03:45 PM
2

That sounds pretty on point! Thank you for the recommendation I’m definitely adding it to my list. I am Mexican/Cuban and come from a different culture, but I’ve always had privilege over other people in my country, like food, shelter and joy expenses (but way less than others) so I find it fascinating to incorporate these issues and how they affect us as a whole.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 03:35 PM
2

I enjoyed the video you shared, and I see your point, but it already presents a few problems in logic, in my opinion: In it, they use a pool of all suitors/potential matches to create the pairings, and then a system in which they’re able to trade up or down in days, but throughout our lives we don’t have a set number of people to choose from lined up all at once. Purely anecdotal of course, but most women I know either have the option to be alone and “keep waiting” for the man they hope for that…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 03:03 PM
1

I think Hitler would definitely flap around in his grave if he saw this short Mexican/Cuban, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:12 PM
1

I didn’t want to add white fragility to the mix since it did sound strange to me. But naturally I’m curious about this side. Didn’t want to make my reading too racially charged. I’ll add laws of human barker to my list, thank you
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:07 PM
2

I think honestly a lot of places in Latin America don’t apply in the notion of the western world either, hence why I find it so foreign. It’s still pretty engrained in my culture that women are only to serve men, and they’re superior to us. Violence against women is more acceptable, at least under what encompass machismo culture, not to say changes aren’t happening, we are just behind. The history of femicide and violence in Mexico is also higher, but I don’t currently have the statistics at han…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 06:59 AM
2

That’s helpful nonetheless. I’ll look for some red pill/MRA books myself. I’m curious now what’s considered so flawed about feminism specifically, but I’ll have to read the books to form a better opinion
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 03:42 AM
2

single tear You really mean it? Sounds like a dream. Imagine all the hateful comments I’ll be able to write, and the level of vitriol once my vocabulary improves? I’ll be invincible! (I don’t think a /s is necessary...right? Should I just in case? )
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 03:41 AM
2

Thank you so much, you didn’t have to do this and it helps me tremendously, you’re awesome. I do prefer lighter books that don’t consume a lot of time, or get too scientific. I’m not an expert in the subject, and since I work full time as a tattoo artist, this works better for me. I do believe the opposition have very valid points, of course. It would be very silly of me to think that feminism is a perfect movement, or that there are no issues and injustices that men deal with. I just finished w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:55 AM
2

Maybe. It helps me improve my vocabulary either way (English is not my native language) I also have men right’s books in my list, and almost half of what I’m reading is written by men. But I knew this would tickle some of the extremists. I know it’s impossible for me to be completely imparcial, but I’m not a man-hating feminazi, or think men are bad/ to blame.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:40 AM
1

I want to be better prepared, dammit! I probably need a better Covid hobby, don’t I
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 02:29 AM
2

Oh Lawdy that’s a terrible book. I started it just to be able to criticize it by having read it, but I couldn’t get past all the “holy cow, his erection” and how the author clearly doesn’t understand the scene. But I did finish thinking kink: feminism and bdsm in pop culture and it was an interesting read. some big leap conclusions I don’t agree with, but mostly okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 01:44 AM
-1

Nope. It’s always men’s fault, they’re all evil, and we are out to get every single one of them. that’s ultimately what we feminists want
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 01:18 AM
3

No! Bad robot.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 01:08 AM
2

Thank you for your input, Il will add the selfish gene to my list of books. I’m definitely not thinking I will know everything about gender after a few books, that would be incredibly silly. Like you said, I’m just one mind after all. If you know and can/want to direct me to other books that you think would prevent his problem/or help me not fall for this, it’s gratefully appreciated I’m genuinely open to learning, and these are not the only books I’ve read/I’m planning to read.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 01:08 AM
2

I don’t know why, I get a some sort of masochistic pleasure from it. It’s absolutely pointless
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:55 AM
-2

Yes, it’s a known fact. duh
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:44 AM
2

While those are very cool hobbies, I don’t care much for math. My boyfriend is learning to program, so occasionally we do talk about it. I have a prolific career, and read and write mainly as a hobby. Reading from multiple topics helps me form more complete opinions, and realize when I’m wrong as well. I was reading about how we perceive time and also a history of evolution before this.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:29 AM
2

So can I be a feminist that doesn’t think she is the victim and that not all men are bad, or that’s impossible?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:23 AM
2

But I just said that I’m dumb! When did I pretend to be smart? Because... I read a lot? It’s a hobby I enjoy. Doesn’t make me better than others. But I guess you’re right, I’m probably not as dumb as I think.Thank you for helping me, kind stranger. I personally don’t kink shame, some men do insert things in their urethras and love it. It may be for you
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:15 AM
3

Aww, why miss an opportunity to stick it to me and prove you’re smarter/stronger/better? You’re no fun!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:06 AM
2

It’s October after all, the witches get extra extra blood thirsty
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/20 12:00 AM
3

I have no idea, it’s just a hobby for me. but I’m sure some of them are part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:59 PM
3

Ah, but I bought them so they mostly look pretty on my half empty IKEA bookshelf. I’m just a dumb woman after all. Nah. I just bought them, I’m going through my kindle books first, but if you want to discuss BDSM and poly dynamics or the second installment of the handmaid’s tale, I can gladly talk to you about it!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:58 PM
2

thank you! It’s actually just for pleasure/research. But I thought it would be funny to post this for purge week
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:54 PM
1

Not my favorite genre, I read a lot, it just happens to be what I’m working on this few months! But I’d love some off topic book recommendations from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:52 PM
3

Right? Thought you may enjoy it!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:52 PM
3

I am actually enjoying it quite a bit! But I’m sure some people do get angry reading them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:51 PM
3

Never mind, I just saw some of your posts... big yikes. Enjoy the rest of your day!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:01 PM
3

As a side note, I find it fascinating that you think this is tied to victimhood, I’m just trying to contribute to the conversation by actually doing research. the majority of men here are trying to convince us that they are, in fact, the victims of women and inequality since this world according to them is skewed in favor of women. so which one is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 10:58 PM
3

Yes, keep going. I love it Bold of you to assume my political preferences, I’m not even from the United States, I don’t affiliate with left or right. Many of the books I’m reading are written by men, making sure to include them, does that mean that men that talk about feminism, gender issues or misogyny are... what exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 10:55 PM
2

Yes, because education and fact checking is clearly what makes us so vulnerable. I’m making sure I incorporate more books written by men, I’d ask you for a recommendation but... you don’t strike me as the reading type.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 10:53 PM
4

Oh no, why does this keep happening? Most of you single men on Reddit seem like lovely, well adjusted, emotionally mature men that surely respect women and other fellow humans in general. It’s truly a mystery.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 10:48 PM
1

Gangbangs huh? that’s quite the leap. But also, you truly don’t understand BDSM dynamics one bit. I don’t blame you, most people use this card without having the slightest idea of the scene. The one in control is the woman. it’s a cathartic form of power exchange. Nothing happens without a woman’s consent, consent is huge in the community, so much even for a hug. It provides women (and men alike) an opportunity to explore safely what’s usually considered taboo, which shockingly continues to be w…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/20 11:28 AM
1

That is a true assertion. Contemporary times, contemporary problems. I also grew up in a small religious place in my country, and things are slowly improving.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 10:01 PM
2

This is me as well! I live in a liberal blue bubble inside a red state. Most of my community is open/poly/liberal, and they’re incredibly supportive so the backlash, vitriol, aggressiveness and moral superiority I see here gets me down. On top of that I’m not American, so it’s having to understand that most of it is directed to western women (which doesn’t make it okay/better) but in a lot of instances it’s a reflection of the rise of hate and hate groups in America.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 07:05 PM
2

It’s pretty scary. I have to remind myself that there is a world outside of the manosphere, with men and women who are not this toxic or emotionally stunted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 06:45 PM
6

Study: “promiscuous women were viewed (ergo, perceived) to be less competent, cold” title: promiscuous women are less competent, cold According to women “ Yeah, not really the same thing. Of course this is going to be skewed if you take into account so many things not mentioned. where in the US? only women under 25? These are important distinctions. while I agree that a lot of slut shaming (and anti slut shaming) happens amongst women, it still stems from how we view women and the perception of …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 03:14 PM
1

Your description made me chuckle (not in a bad way) because I do agree with it. that’s exactly how I describe privilege, not necessarily value, but maybe they’re interchangeable depending on the context. that’s also exactly what bothers me about that treatment that my brother receives. He is perceived as having more value for being male, despite the fact he doesn’t contribute or does anything of value on itself. I’m guessing this is a big cultural difference and women in the west are different/t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 11:34 PM
1

That’s very interesting. Thank you for your input! Also BMI is problematic/flawed to me, we are all built differently
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 09:52 PM
2

I wish I had more time to continue this discussion because I’m enjoying it, but we are also reaching an impasse as well in which we will continue to disagree unfortunately. I respect your take on it and it would be futile to try to change your point of view (nor I want to) but I won’t change mine regarding certain aspects of it either, I believe things are much more nuanced. I simply do not believe women are universally perceived to have more value. Statistically and throughout history we’ve bee…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 09:50 PM
3

Thank you for taking the time to talk with me and share your experience on this, I truly appreciate it. -but wouldn’t that apply to men as well? I know men are usually taken for granted: as the laborers, the bread winners in relationships and the ones taking the most risks, but it’s also the foundation for both the notion of their inherent worth and value over women. women are hardworking as well, now more so than ever. All some of us ever want is to become part of the conversation. It depends o…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 05:34 PM
1

Thank you for this piece of information, I don’t know too much about how a dowry works in every culture specifically, so it’s good to learn from multiple perspectives. I’ve seen mostly the man paying the parents of the woman he wants to marry, but I can totally see how and why it works in reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 04:59 PM
6

See, I respectfully disagree. I don’t think women are inherently valued more/for no merit, or that has not been my experience and the experience for many Mexican women. I’ve had to fight hard to be where I am, an unmarried Latina woman without kids in her mid 30s is pretty much the equivalent of a slap in the face. If anything, some of the things said to seem to reinforce value in women (“a woman shouldn’t be touched even with a rose’s petal”) depicts us as weak and in need of protection, more s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 04:57 PM
9

The funny thing is, women also play an essential role that they don’t (usually) choose to be a part of in these communities: they are the home makers, they have the kids and stay behind. both gender are pushed into roles that “benefit society” or your parents, specifically. In many Latino cultures for instance, women aren’t desired or considered better, we are tools for our parents as well or other men (I’m Mexican/living in Mexico up until two years ago) In many smaller communities the concept …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 04:17 PM
1

I appreciate it, Thank you for your input! I’m curious, have you ever been rejected for being skinny? I’m chubby and my ex was incredibly thin, and he mentioned he often faced rejection or critique for it himself. I know skinny men can be discriminated as well, I think sometimes even more so than skinny women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/20 04:03 PM
1

I’m not making excuses, I just think it’s not as easy as a lot of people seem to think. Good for you for working hard, and overcoming so much. it’s truly not easy as you surely know, and sustaining those changes is a struggle on itself. And it will be a life-long battle. but I’ve seen this trend of people changing their lives around and becoming extra judgy and bullying those who haven’t/struggle more with it/ or simply choose not to. While I agree we should work to improve ourselves/our health …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 06:37 PM
1

It’s shitty to get rejected, full stop. But we are not entitled to be liked by specific people, or at all. I think we can agree that it’s shitty both ways, no? I don’t think it’s cool for women to reject men based on height, but having preferences is okay. and men can decide not to date women who are fat, of course. Technically a lot of things are workable/improbable, even those who are usually “unmodifiable” through plastic surgery, for example. So where do we draw the line?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 06:33 PM
1

So just a little number of dead women? This statistic is for the United States only, I can get into other countries, including mine (Mexico) and talk about femicide, but I know that’s drifting away from the main topic. I know what you’re saying, it’s just a weird comparison to me, since although we technically have more control over our weight, it’s not as simple, and it doesn’t fix or change fact that some women will be entitled or state preferences. It feels like a “aha!” Come back from a lot …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 05:46 PM
1

Here we go again: Some people are fat because of laziness and lack of self control, absolutely. But not everyone is fat for the same reason. There are, just to name a few: hormones, medical conditions, trauma, accidents, physical and mental disabilities. we also have different body types, and women biologically are more prone to store fat. I don’t believe it’s a fair comparison, or it’s a flawed one at that. personality is also something I’d argue is a choice. Taking care of our bodies is import…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 05:41 PM
2

Absolutely no one? That’s a broad assumption. I’m glad you don’t, but a quick dive to some of the quarantined groups tells me different. there are plenty of men who fantasize about women being punished/ pay for “what we do to them” and it’s almost always intertwined with violence that can become real: On average, three women in the United States die in the hands of a partner or ex partner. You’re absolutely entitled to take care of yourself in any way you choose, and pick a partner that does the…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 05:07 PM
1

I always find it interesting when these things come up, because it reeks of double standards. Most men don’t want to date certain types of women, for example obese or chubby ones. I’m chubby, is it mean that I’m not their preference? Nah, We all have preferences. I understand getting our egos hurt but everyone is entitled to what they like. Some have made the distinction that it’s when women berate short men/“demand” they’re 6ft and up. Anyone can demand what they want to manifest. I know it’s “…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/20 04:15 PM
1

That’s pretty cool. I dated casually but I was looking for something more serious, and I had a disastrous marriage before (I’m now 35). But I’m thankful for the experience, I’m definitely better because of it. I agree that you can’t really grow up without experience, and it becomes that catch 22: women want men that are mature and grounded, men need experience with women to become that way. (Anyone really) like a job asking for you to have experience as you graduate, but if they don’t hire you h…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 11:00 PM
1

Congratulations on your engagement! Lots of open communication. Sounds cliche and obvious but no, really. My partner and I have weekly “check ins” to talk about our emotions and how we felt during the week, to work on how we both can improve. I think you make very strong points. Society sets the value that romantic relationships are the end game and like you mentioned, everyone wants to be loved and desired. Whoever says it’s not human nature, would be lying. (Psychopathic tendencies aside, haha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 04:14 PM
2

There is nothing wrong with playing around, and no one is obligated to commit or settle down. Honestly, it’s an unpopular opinion but we don’t really have to “pair up” at all. Or with just one person. There is also the problem of timing, sometimes people are just not in the right place in their lives. I think what you’re describing is on a case to case basis. Men with deeply rooted insecurities don’t want experienced women, because they fear they won’t be good enough and that they will be replac…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 03:21 PM
1

To me, the house is the system. Very clearly neither gender is truly content, there are injustices and problems on both sides, or we wouldn’t have spaces like purple pill debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 03:06 PM
1

I’ve read the suicide statistics and it’s heartbreaking. Not saying that being laughed at doesn’t play a huge role, but it also spawns from how we are raised: men are taught to “suck it up” and “to not cry” which creates stunted, repressed and understandably angry men. The choosing death over humiliation is an interesting parallel. that some people would rather straight up die than experience discomfort and alienation. To me, vulnerability opens you up to taking what’s usually considered a weakn…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 05:24 PM
1

I think you’re absolutely right. And it’s paired with the fact that we are weaker physically and most men do represent a Physical threat to us. How does the Margaret Atwood quote go? “Men fear that women will laugh at them, women fear men will kill them” I do know that men statistically tend to be more the victims of violence, but it’s usually by other men. My country has a huge femicide problem and I was taught from an early age to try to be safe, but talking to other women it’s most of us: don…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/20 03:22 PM
1

I think we are talking apples and oranges here, and you’re sort of agreeing with my point inadvertently. Insecurities do arise due to a constant bombarding of the media depicting seemingly “perfect” women: skinny, airbrushed. the pressure to look a certain way has always fallen on women more than men, although insecurities are not exclusive to women, obviously. We internalize it and try desperately to change what we think is wrong, a lot of men externalize it by becoming angry at women and resen…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 11:01 PM
2

I’m so glad I can be here, and I genuinely like learning from others and hearing other people’s points of view and experiences. I’m not a man and will never be, so that automatically means I won’t truly know everything you guys go through, and viceversa.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 07:58 PM
0

I’m beginning to notice this as well. It’s funny how indoctrinated the idea of extreme thinness and self assurance “being yourself/a boss bitch” is in women/feminist culture. they both can’t exist on the same plane, it leads to very confusing misconceptions. I personally find geeky and awkward guys attractive, and I’ve dated bigger men. But they would usually reject me since they’re usually scared of rejection themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 07:43 PM
1

While this may be true and I’m not discrediting what you say, ironically I’m in a relationship with a guy that I wholeheartedly believe is outside my league. (6’4, handsome. Pretty much a non-Chad Chad. ) and he says I’m the more attractive one (LIES) we may as well be the exception to the rule, but I honor this relationship, pamper him/care for him, (and viceversa) I know how lucky I am and how good I have it. Instead of becoming conceited and awful, I’m insanely grateful. It’s worth all the he…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 07:28 PM
2

You’re right, I know entitlement is a real thing. I don’t want to generalize about my gender because I know there are shitty women out there , of course. These topics don’t address all of us, it’s hard not to get involved or feel sad especially with so many men that think AWALT. I know women lie about their weight, and you have no reason to believe me without me sharing a full-body, unaltered picture. I’ve never been obese, and I was teased endlessly for how I look either way. there’s a lot of p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 06:00 PM
0

The house always wins is a great analogy/way to put it on my opinion. It’s unfair, but it is what it is. I know it’s probably solipsism and confirmation bias, but I personally faced rejection and know many women who did, or were too scared to go after who they liked because they feared rejection. You can’t know how many of us do end up trying and getting screwed over as well. Everyone becomes jaded and angry, it’s understandable. But generally how we react to the rejection matters. We are not as…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 05:26 PM
2

(Certain) Women’s market value and access to the “casino” is determined by you, the men. you accidentally build the casino creating an imbalance of power and supply and demand, giving these women the illusion of value, like a lab made diamond. So now women pick who they believe is the best suitor based on what their options are and what they like which sure, is usually based on now obsolete biological drives: taller, stronger Chad to protect her and give her potentially better offspring. Except …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 03:58 PM
2

Right? No wonder they hate themselves and women if they become the assholes they envied. The sad reality is that they always assume most, if not all women are only attracted to Chads and constantly rejected them, (at least hypothetically apparently) so they fulfill the revenge fantasy by rejecting them now years later that they are no longer attracted to them. (Aka: “fat” “old” post wall) Because mentally they haven’t stopped being those 16 year olds. Also hello: awkward geeky, chubby girls that…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 03:31 PM
1

Haha, I love that my argument ended with “blank statements” and that’s exactly what you did, besides being triggered. I didn’t see it as an insult. I’m honestly not taking it personally and I’m not angry, you know literally noting about me or my work/life ethic, so why would it affect me when what you’re saying is not even true? I was simply trying to challenge you to have a less limited point of view, or at least hear from an alternative source. But nice trying to use the UNO card reverse psych…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 12:58 AM
1

Huge yawn. You guys have to start working on some fresh material, because this is old. Eating less isn’t cookie cutter (pun intended) for what you eat also matters. Your life and what happens in it, and the sustainability of your choices. Technically you can survive on a 1000 calorie fast food diet, but is it nutritious? Is it safe? Probably not. Will you lose weight? Probably yes, since it’s still a calorie deficit, but “eat less” isn’t the solution for everyone. Food addiction is a thing. We d…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 12:21 AM
1

I fully get what you’re saying, it’s not about stalling or denying self improvement. That is everyone’s individual responsibility, but personally I find it helpful to understand for instance, why most diets fail (instead of steady, consistent habit changes) diet culture is a thing, and it sells billions. The irony is, most people want to be skinny because of what other people think (media, bullying, being ridiculed/told we are not attractive, etc) Being focused on other people is what drives the…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 02:32 PM
1

Haha I am making excuses by talking about the facts of the complexity of diets? When did I say people shouldn’t try to be healthier? I merely pointed out the fact that what we’ve been doing isn’t the only solution, and it can be fixed and improved to help more people lose weight. I’m slightly overweight. Barely out of the healthy BMI and living a healthy lifestyle with healthy colesterol levels, no diabetes or other medical conditions, do you want my doctor’s phone number to corroborate? Since y…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 07:33 PM
1

The fact that you don’t think the psychology of how and what we eat and the socioeconomics matter makes me realize how limited, overly flawed and simplistic your argument is. “No one used to be fat” is a fallacy. We’ve had fat people before, and we actually tied it to affluence. true, not even remotely close to this extent, and I do believe we are in an obesity epidemic, which is a reflection of the changes that have occurred after the industrial revolution. People weren’t as fat before because …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 07:15 PM
3

I know you’re just trolling and not even in a funny or witty way, but I’ll use it as a teachable opportunity for those reading. While a caloric deficit is the cornerstone of diets and a way to lose weight, it’s not as simple. your habits, Genetics, and nutrition play a huge part. Your metabolisms will adapt to whatever you throw at it, so if you consistently under eat, your body will adapt to the amount of calories you are feeding yourself in order to survive. This means that the 1000 calories h…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 06:45 PM
2

Nope. Still way off. Except how we perceive ourselves is intrinsically social. It’s not only vanity, it’s how we are wired to be. “Don’t worry about what people think if you’re having real issues” is borderline dismissive and besides the point. Ironically no one is arguing with you that obesity isn’t unhealthy, or I’m trying to glorify it. Yet that is the answer we get without fail. People that aren’t fat/obese don’t really give a fuck about fat/obese people. You all become magician doctors and …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 01:55 PM
4

Wasn’t there a /whooosh ? Maybe it has more or less o’s Absolutely unrelated to what I was talking, but thank you for the unwarranted and not at all known lesson in health and how junk food: bad and obesity: wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 06:29 AM
1

I appreciate it. I’m definitely working on a longer compilation that I will hopefully share soon as a post over here
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/20 12:37 AM
4

I fully understand how it works, it’s not that I don’t understand it, but it’s not so cookie cuter. The reality is a lot of us struggle to lose weight even when we try, and we are hard wired to fail as it is. How does it relate to the very real stigma or people being demonized for the weight and the association with junk food saddens me, which in its own makes sense because of Socio-economical structures. Fat people can be eating salads and still be teased mercilessly. I know you’re agreeing on …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 08:29 PM
9

After seeing the amount of vitriol and hate we get for being fat, can you blame us for not wanting sex? I’ve been chubby all my life, I’m curvy/big hips and butt, and I’ve been endlessly bullied for it, pushed to lose weight and made to feel inferior. I don’t sit around eating Cheetos and I exercise,which is the most common generalization associated with overweight/obese people. A lot of us want to change our lives or are trying to, but we are teased, bullied and ridiculed constantly. Having sai…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 06:15 PM
4

The gender line, helps to keep women not on a pedestal, but in a cage - Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Most of us don’t really want to be objectified, put on pedestals or be treated as superior. The gender equality we fight for means that for centuries we were put in a role/box no matter our desires, and treated unfairly and seen as less valuable even in the eyes of the law. It’s not that gender roles “no longer exist” is that women chose to become unruly and question the notion that we should stay quiet …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 06:03 PM
1

I wouldn’t say this accounts for the “‘majority” of the problems, that’s overly simplistic. And untrue. Most of these posts reek of disdain, who are all these women DEMANDING men to uphold their gender roles ? “Before feminism” women were easier to control, because we had fewer rights and opportunities. It’s not that we were all happy fulfilling these structured social expectations, we had some of the same problems. You just didn’t hear about it nearly as much, and same goes for men being pressu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/20 05:25 PM
2

38 men and 15 women. 35, F 5 LTR. 3 marriage proposals, two marriages (one in my twenties, one that was long distance and part of an immigration process) I’ve had around 10 ONS (spread out not consecutively) the result of a couple tinder binges. I do have a very high sex drive, and I’m swinger and poly. Extravert I’m not ashamed of my history. I’ve felt bad at times for the pointless ONS and a few relationships I wouldn’t have gotten myself into, but I had fun at the moment and I learned a lot. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/20 06:02 AM
1

This happens quite a bit, so it’s difficult for me to relate to the “all women are spoiled and entitled” when my experience has been treated like I have less worth( and expected to take care of spoiled, entitled men. I’ve been the caretaker and bread winner in multiple relationships, with men ranging from their mid 20s to mid 40s, and it’s exhausting. Your wife sounds amazing
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 12:37 AM
1

Okay, I understand it better now, thank you. I haven’t seen women do it, but it doesn’t mean they don’t- obviously women can be vile/mean/hurtful. I think all and all, we keep forgetting that two wrongs don’t make a right. Women respond to some men being shitty by being shitty themselves, and in return other men become shitty towards women. Perpetuating a weird circle of mostly unwarranted abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/20 01:38 AM
1

Because women don’t measure virtue amongst themselves with something as shallow as sexual preferences. We are expected to understand “man’s nature” the fact that men will fuck and pursuit a lot of women, the whole “boys will be boys” mentality. But women are expected to be virginal and poised. There’s even a post about “low testosterone: low sex drive” which is not how we work. We get horny too. But also, please do explain what are the “broader consequences” of this underreporting and lying? doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 02:47 PM
0

Haha I love how if someone says something you don’t like or challenges your take on it , it’s automatically gaslighting and both genders use this psychological term to pretty much say “I don’t like your point of view” I’m literally asking for examples of it happening, not saying that it doesn’t or trying to make you feel crazy for feeling that way, which is the actual definition of gaslighting.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 02:42 PM
1

Is this implying that the term shit talking started with women? Because I need some references. of course women can be rude af. I don’t see people arguing that they can’t, or why this would justify men being incredibly hateful in response.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 02:38 PM
1

Okay now let’s break it down: FDS is.. weird. I don’t agree with a lot of what they stand for, but in general they are still looking for men to date that are into them and won’t destroy/waste their lives. I thought that was red pill was for, but their core belief isn’t that women lie/are pretty much evil and you should avoid marriage at all costs? And the women that you should fuck/date are described like cattle, mostly focusing on looks and not attributes like FDS. They can get crazy and I disl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 02:35 PM
2

Kylie Jenner doesn’t even look like Kylie Jenner. Besides the copious amount of surgery and make up, she alters her pictures to look better. I invite you to /instagramreality to see the truth behind that curtain. Yes, of course there are hotter women. But stop comparing yourself ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 07:03 AM
3

Can you explain to me what form of “policing” you refer to? I’m genuinely curious, what does that mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 06:35 AM
3

It’s not about being “made to” we are adults and can make our own choices. Some of them will be bad. But these things concern men way more. Do we engage in crass “locker room” talk about men as well? Of course we do. I still don’t see how that is a big revelation just because some women choose to lie about it. If virtue wasn’t seen as a huge deal, just as acting “virginal and nice” I’m sure more women would be upfront about more things. The fact that this is commonplace tells you there’s a probl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 06:34 AM
6

I haven’t seen it happen, could you share some examples? I sure hope that is not allowed/erased/banned content.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 06:28 AM
4

I’m really sorry, that’s beyond shitty. I’ve been told that “if I wasn’t chubby I would be great/pretty” that’s an interesting approach. I think porn overall twists the idea of what sex really is. But most porn is still designed and catered to men (a lot of POV) which I think also talks about men’s fantasies and desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 05:05 AM
10

A quick glance showed me African American, Indian, asian, Samoan men. yes, a lot of celebrities to “lust after” are white, but that’s also a reflection of how limiting Hollywood can be. So going to all the porn subreddits will show me a wide variety of women? Not mostly skinny, white ones with big tits? sure there a niche ones, but they’re the minority as well. Men like attractive women. Women like attractive men. Conventionally so.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 05:00 AM
8

But who are you talking about? If anything, the lying (about desire, preferences and even body count) is tied to how obsessed some men are with these things. Women are expected to be kind at all times, never “a bitch” (if she dare voice what she wants, or my lord, have a sexual preference) Not saying that real bitches don’t exist, of course they do. But I feel that you guys tend to ignore a lot of factors that are part of this and it’s not as simple as we lie about it for shits and giggles.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 04:54 AM
4

I’m not going to disagree with you there, I do believe for sure some women are toxic. I hope most understand that some are growers and not showers! And also there are other skills. I’ve dated men with penises under 5 inches and it wasn’t a deal breaker for me
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 04:49 AM
10

It’s very frustrating how some women objectify men and think of them as just a piece of meat! men would nev... oh.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 04:44 AM
9

If you hear women making fun of an average sized dick every single day, I’m worried about what kind of women are in your life my friend. That’s horrifying. I’ve never made fun of a man for being average or below, or have friends that did it either. I do believe y’all are more obsessed about size.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 04:29 AM
41

This is always shared, like a big “aha” moment. women are constantly criticized for being attracted to what they like, (which by the way isn’t exclusively 6’8 buff chads like a lot of y’all seem to think) Yes, we can be superficial and hypocritical, but this isn’t exclusive to us? A quick visit to whereallthegoodmen and MGTOW will show you how repulsive they find women by sharing and mocking their OLD profiles. They always comment on their looks using derogatory terms. I personally haven’t seen …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/20 02:05 AM
1

This makes a lot of sense. I’ve had opportunities to become sour and resent men, since I grew up being treated like second class at home( even being the one achieving the most) But I used that oppression or limitations instead to become the independent, hard working woman that I am. I rejected the notion of “finding a man to pay for me” since I saw my mom not wanting to work even when we needed it, and abuse my dad’s money for decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 02:05 PM
1

Thank you for sharing this!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 01:59 PM
1

Oh yes! I totally had blocked the anger thing. My brother lashes out and explodes without any reason, he has zero skills to deal with frustration and problem solving. Everyone is expected to bend to his will. I aso grew up quiet and not setting healthy boundaries, I’ve been reading about being raised by emotionally immature parents and it’s spot on. In my case it’s my mom who is the most aggressive and manipulative. I did the same thing, I worked on myself and left my small town early on. I’m no…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 01:57 PM
1

Interesting. I’ve seen this mentioned before and It always felt so foreign to me. We don’t have the same hook up culture in Mexico, I was studying and working hard since I was 17 since we didn’t have a lot of money. Also a lot of Latin American women look younger (I’m 35, well pass “the wall” but people always guess 25-28) and despite how I was raised, I like taking care of a man. (Cooking , cleaning etc) acts of service is a love language for me, as long as there is mutual respect. I wish some …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 01:51 PM
12

Thank you, I appreciate it. Machismo is still very prevalent in my culture. I’ve noticed how abrasive American women can be. I don’t identify with their radical feminism or wanting to be treated “like queens” I feel the entitlement comes from a lack of actual struggle, like many face in third world countries. But I’m generalizing and speculating now
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 02:53 AM
31

I have the opposite experience: I was raised to believe men are gods, and women are inferior and only here to serve them. I’ve never expected especial treatment because of my gender. I grew up in a Mexican catholic household, my brother received special treatment for being a man. He was raised to believe he was “the man of the house” and he didn’t have to clean, cook, do his laundry.. pretty much anything that makes you an adult. Guess who is now 30 and useless? I want and have always wanted to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 02:41 AM
8

I love being friends with men! You know, the funny and ironic thing is that the hateful personality is so off putting, (wether is men against women or women against men) it’s that self fulfilling prophecy and pretty obvious trauma to want a world without one gender, thinking it would be for the best. Reddit, especially certain subreddits project a very limiting/narrow view on men and women alike. I’m glad there’s more like you out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 12:04 AM
3

Around 40 men and 10 women. (35 yo female) Currently in a very fulfilling LTR so not adding for a while, his count is around 30-40 women himself. I like the fact we are evenly matched/have experience, and since we are not monogamous and in the BDSM community, the stats and interactions are a little different.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/20 09:05 PM
1

Honestly I’ve had the opposite experience with men myself as well (I’ve been exclusively the provider, both financially and emotionally) that now that I’m dating someone who is willing to pull his own weight and does sweet little gestures, I’m incredibly grateful and happy and think he is exceptional. We both contribute to the relationship and neither is exhausted doing most of the work. It boils down to emotional maturity, unfortunately a lot of women still expect men to “be the providers” with…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/20 10:17 PM
2

Like I said, I understand how you feel. The point remains: turning into a hateful angry human that gives up because you feel “being nice doesn’t make a difference” is defeatist and doesn’t help you or anyone. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. It is also coming from the assumption that women don’t face rejection based on their looks. I’ve been bullied to the point of ending in the hospital with stitches. Ive been made fun of, laughed at, I even had a mean song. Did I deserve being treated this way…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 07:48 PM
5

A million times this! the expectation and pressure for a partner to do all the planning because “they’re supposed to” seems so absurd to me. People get tired and since you’re both in this, why not contribute by suggesting things you both like? You make a fair point, when people don’t have anything in common it makes sense that they rely on the more extroverted partner to drag them along to their hobbies exclusively. This happened to my current boyfriend, so I’m making sure we both get to choose …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 06:45 PM
8

Some men apparently are terrified of the idea of being considered weak betas, it’s so funny. Educated women that can read and make choices.. they can even say no?: bad! Run ! /s I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting a partner that makes decisions about dating as well! I plan dates just as my boyfriend does. I start with asking him what he feels like doing (and viceversa) and we come up with a few plans to choose from.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 06:41 PM
2

I enjoy it, my goal in my relationship is both of us being able to come up with ideas, especially when my boyfriend can’t come up with something because surprise, men get tired of doing all the planning and decision making too. I don’t see this as a “dominant trait” exclusively, but I guess you could say that about me. in my mind since two people are in a relationship, they can both equally come up with suggestions of what to do, helps keep a healthy rotation of plans that benefit both. Slightly…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 06:35 PM
3

You don’t think that men (or women, for that matter) that are hateful, angry, constantly complain about the opposite gender and lack of success in dating by shifting the blame to others isn’t part of the reason? Because I find that extremely unattractive. I understand a lot of men get jaded and frustrated at the fact that they face an unfair genetic disadvantage and obviously no one likes being rejected. But the entitlement and lack of accountability are unreal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 06:22 PM
9

Of course I read what you posted, the tone of it was incredibly confusing, hence why I’m not the only one that didn’t know where you were going with it? Uh... I mean, seems like a very limiting way of seeing human interactions. Sure, we are wired to reproduce and we are technically animals, but we are also capable of much more. what type of relationship your parents had I don’t know, but it seems far fetched to say he only saw her as a “cum dumpster” 🤷🏻‍♀️ While I understand that you think you’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 12:50 AM
35

It’s funny how a lot of these posts are just repeating verbatim the same hateful complaints, it’s getting old. The subtext that I hear is that a lot of these men complaining are pissed because they’re butt ugly and have horrible personalities so women don’t find them attractive, so they believe it’s a double standard. That’s cute. No one is entitled to the other gender’s attention, and that goes for both sexes. That “ugly” or “average” women according to you get delusional and choosy and are abl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/20 12:34 AM
1

Haha I wish I could have gold to give you! 🏆
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/20 04:45 PM
4

...But I never said women could have their cake and men couldn’t, I precisely said it should be the same expectation for both sexes? Low count women, low count men. What does height has to do with it? Or muscles? You’re just comparing apples and oranges now. You’re going to tell me that men aren’t incredibly judgmental when it comes to women’s looks? You act like men are the sole victims of discrimination that have been cast aside for the Chads, ignored for not having a six pack and being 6’5. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 06:22 PM
5

A high number woman has these potential issues, I’m not disagreeing. But it’s not an entire picture. With that also comes experience and a better understanding of relationships (generally) maybe it’s because I’m a woman dating in my mid thirties, but absolutely no one comes without previous partners or baggage. You can’t just cross off the word “insecurities” because you think it doesn’t apply to my argument. Many men and women are very painfully insecure about their partner’s history. To me it’…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 05:48 PM
1

She did indeed! Team pointy house keys brass knuckles as well
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 04:31 PM
0

Because generalizing seems to be all that happens around here, that and lengthy statistics throw the statistics of promiscuous women in dead bedrooms my way, because I honestly don’t see the correlation there. The only statistic that could possibly be related are the ones associated with multiple marriages and the possibility of cheating. Unstable people unable to settle down exist, in both sexes. I’m not promiscuous myself (not that it would matter or necessarily is a bad thing) but I had enoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 02:09 PM
1

thanks, saving this in my “woah, Reddit” folder for later enjoyment. I won’t even argue or refute because there is no point, I’m only going to say that this risk assessment exclusively takes into consideration male “risk of being cheated on” or “traded off” while never addressing the statistic around men who cheat themselves, especially when they get bored Fucking their prudish, low libido wives when they almost inevitably get stuck in dead bedrooms. What then?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 01:46 PM
1

It was a tongue in cheek approach, I guess it didn’t land :P it has everything to do with it. they’re being portrayed almost like unstoppable , violent/prone, sex crazed animals dictated by their genitalia, who exclusively think like this (and if they don’t they’re chumps/betas) while women are manipulative, money-hungry whores. Okay -Maybe- except the virginal ones and their mothers. this subreddits portrait a segment of people with an ideology, but it sure as he’ll isn’t “all men” and “all wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 01:33 PM
1

ah haha Jesus Maria y José. Not every human boils down to a number of statistics being copy pasted on a Reddit forum. This doesn’t paint a picture that tells a story of what happened in the relationship. It is so painfully black and white, no questions, no wiggle room. What is even considered promiscuous and who Who decides? You? This also doesn’t consider relationships in the non monogamy spectrum, which are more popular than before now. I’m starting to get the notion thatTRP is a very conserva…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 01:23 PM
1

I forget Kids are thrown in these conversations here. I’m child free and will always be, so it doesn’t even cross my mind. But I know it’s an issue and a whole other conversation. I’m not downplaying anything. I’m aware of the statistics, but it’s still not 100% factual. If you choose not to take a “risk” of dating based on that alone it’s perfectly fine, but it’s only one way of seeing people, that can be very limiting. The silver lining is knowing these things beforehand, If someone ties my nu…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 07:44 AM
0

I didn’t think I was, although sometimes it’s hard for me to put my ideas together/in order and in English so I apologize (not my native language) but I think we agree on many points here. I’ve said before that men want virginal princesses, but they still get to have their fun because they’re increasingly harder to find. We celebrate men conquests and shame women for doing the same. Many women complain that men are Assholes who use them and don’t want to commit, two sides of the same coin. I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 07:20 AM
3

Ha I liked the “side order of cheating” the funny thing is, that there will always be a risk even if you date men and women that are deemed “safe” no one can guarantee that problems would never happen, and using statistics, numbers and games to prevent it just makes it that much more stressful, in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 05:17 AM
1

First of all: you’re not unworthy or less or a human being! I hope you know that in reality, but I understand having insecurities. We all do. I get that for sure, he is (you are?) very young after all. His fear or being “the leftover option” is a bit foreign to me, because I haven’t met a lot of women who would purposely date around for the sake of it and want to hurt younger men with limited experience. but I understand having fear and insecurities I wish you the best <3
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 04:48 AM
2

You said it in different words? You’re now we don’t it a way that seems very balanced and logical. Yes men can be nice but also violent, just as Women can be violent, manipulative and sex crazed too. Even if we don’t see it as much. I think this helps perpetuate the notion that we are two different species. There are clear differences to both sexes that I can’t argue with, but no one is only black or white. Do you truly think women can get what they want if they’re smart? What does this mean? Mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 04:11 AM
3

I don’t know man, people get crazy aggressive and defensive around these things. Just stating the obvious I guess. Sounds like men are actually wolves in sheep’s clothing, instead of.. male humans? I’ve never felt this drastically about men. Have I’ve been scared and do I see many as potentially dangerous, I do, but I don’t think all women pretend to be outraged since many of us don’t assume it’s THIS bad. You’re right about it being difficult to understand. Ironically, the only women I’ve heard…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 03:55 AM
3

While I see your point and I’m not debating that it’s not a potentially dangerous choice, you casually throw in there “being a woman” in the mix as one of the potential risk factors. The (not only, but main ) reason that “being a woman” in this scenario is a risk factor is because of men. Why is that? We don’t tend to put emphasis on educating men about not acting like violent sex crazed rapey apes, it’s the women’s fault. we get angry at them and judge the way the acted or the way they were dre…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 03:28 AM
5

What is this obsession with someone’s “number of sex partners” reading this forum makes me incredibly lucky to have the boyfriend that I have, damn. They keep throwing the same statistics about correlation of a high count and cheating, and while I’m not going to discredit it, seems like that’s not the entire basis for preferring a low count (or even no count) women. And slut shaming is still so prevalent. An inexperienced girl may commit easier, yes. She is naive and impressionable, she may not …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 03:11 AM
2

This has been my experience as well and was curious about the statistics they keep showing? Most women I know that haven’t experienced a varied sex life end up leaving (or being cheated on) but oh, we don’t talk about men cheating apparently. Even if statistically high count women “ could potentially cheat” sounds like a silly reason not to get to know someone, but I love seeing them comment and automatically discount themselves as viable partners, haha
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 02:54 AM
1

I’m always honest because if my experience or number of past partners is reason enough for you to not want to date me, let’s find out soon enough so we don’t waste each other’s time. It’s clearly an incompatibility. I don’t want to deal with fragile egos, jealousy and a ton of insecurities. I personally don’t care about my partner’s count and sexual history either. My current boyfriend (we are very evenly matched) when I asked him what he thought about this subject said that he couldn’t care les…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 02:42 AM
4

I don’t understand the mental gymnastics to get there in a story about a girl being dragged to dance against her will and rescued by other girls from potential danger. Where does it say she was sleeping around Europe and does it matter in relation to the story? We learn from a young age to be agreeable, smile and be polite even when we are terrified and want to say no, because we know our lives can be in danger if we don’t. It’s not a risk exclusively to women and I know “‘not all men” but assum…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 02:35 AM
2

Any time! you’re such a mature young man (that made me feel SO old, haha) thanks for your time and opinions, I truly enjoy learning from others and their points of view
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 12:34 AM
1

Oh, absolutely! I respect you and your point of view! It’s a shame we don’t have more of that around here. This is likely, since I’m 35 and my mindset has definitely changed from when I was in my early twenties and conservative myself. I was so trapped in this tiny town full of judgment and shame, it was no way to live. (For me) But It’s also okay if this remains a core value for you, as long as you’re honest and open about it. Not everyone has to like or want the same things, My only recommenda…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 12:28 AM
2

I appreciate you replying to me. I guess I’m curious because I don’t see people (women or men) who have high counts as providing leftovers/undesirable. I don’t have a very high count myself, but I learned a lot from my experiences: how to be emotionally mature, what I like and dislike and how to please my partner better. We are capable of growing and change, and people shouldn’t be judged for choosing to have sex or not while they were in the process of doing so. I respect both options. Are we l…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 12:19 AM
1

I couldn’t agree more. And they wonder why we lie about it, considering how visceral their reactions to women having what they consider a “high count” and therefore rendering them undesirable. We grew up being judged for having sexual drives. The double standards are unreal.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 12:05 AM
1

I do have a genuine question and it isn’t intended to attack anyone’s take on this, but... why is this such a big deal when a woman has a “high number” ? Is it an ego thing, you don’t want her to know you lack experience? Societal pressure, moral judgement? I personally really don’t mind when my male partner has a high count, I’ve dated men with high counts. if anything I’m glad they had experience and it made sex way more enjoyable for me. why is it okay for men to have higher counts and “spin …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/20 12:00 AM
1

Oh, wait... you’re absolutely right. Every woman likes being treated like garbage and hates real intimacy. We exclusively fuck chads and traumatize the good, wholesome men until we shrivel and die alone when we turn 30. I’m learning so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/20 04:21 AM
1

But you just said exactly why they prefer them. 20 somethings can be more “conventionally attractive” (we value youth and looks, sure) and that naïveté is sexy to them because they’re also usually easy to impress and lower maintenance. they represent less of a challenge and a higher perceived status. With that comes immaturity and lack of awareness, but they’re not looking for depth, unless it’s getting their dicks inside, right? They’re “pumping and dumping” and “spinning plates” and they never…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/20 05:06 AM
5

Oh I 100% relate. It feels like these men are in a campaign trying to make us feel desperate and lost, like all of our value is gone and no one will ever want us. Eff that!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/20 04:09 AM
6

This is probably one of the saddest things I’ve read in a while, and that says a lot considering what this year has brought! As a representative of one of those women, let me kindly tell you that it isn’t the case for all of us. a man that cares about me as a person and my pleasure is VERY attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 11:19 PM
1

Man, this post is making me self conscious! Weight and attractiveness is a bit more complicated than just BMI alone, in my opinion. I’m overweight, but most people consider me curvy/chubby because of how I distribute said weight: bigger hips, thighs and ass, smaller boobs, a waist-hip ratio, not a big stomach. I also have a healthy lifestyle because not everyone that isn’t skinny is automatically a slob. I would totally date a larger man within reason, as long as he is still relatively healthy/w…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 11:13 PM
2

Thank you for educating me on this subject! I haven’t been around those forums much. I 100% support women having autonomy and not degrading themselves for anyone (and same goes for men) sometimes it reads like a pickmeisha is a woman that doesn’t feel like she is a queen and chooses to pay for dates or support her partner. Glad to know it’s more than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 10:18 PM
1

Hi! Are you me? we have exactly the same views/take on it! Like even down to the children you’ll never have, haha This made me so happy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 10:13 PM
9

It’s only my boyfriend but Jesus, same!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 10:11 PM
3

Here I am laughing at 35, being very much fucked constantly by my very handsome, slightly younger partner. And no I’m not rich/his sugar momma! At first I was shocked, because it almost reads like satire. You can feel the hate and frustration. I even once saw a post on “where all the good men” or whatever, saying that women hit the wall at 20, and they appropriate age gap was 16-20. Like, what is a grown ass man doing with a 16 year old girl? I don’t want to know. I can’t speak for most, and I c…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 10:10 PM
2

I know what they mean with the term but it’s all so extreme, I’m considered a pickmesha. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to please your partner as long as there are healthy boundaries in place. The fact that I want and choose to cook and clean (he cooks and cleans as well) and that we both contribute financially to the relationship seems to be undesirable, apparently. I don’t know what type of men these women are hoping to attract acting and looking the way they do, but a man th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/20 09:55 PM
2

I’m 35 and my boyfriend is 33. He looks a bit older than me, as he is white and I’m latina, so I think it’s perfect. I would say 30-45 as a range for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/20 05:47 AM
2

People on different hemispheres can flirt! Arriba, Cubanos unidos! I love it there, miss it. I grew up in Mexico but I’ve been to Cuba multiple times. Sending you hugs, thank you for your kind words :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 05:33 PM
1

Haha you flirt! I’ve been told I’m proportionate (I’m half Cuban, pear shaped, smaller breasts) so I don’t look as big, but I’m still working out and eating healthy trying to be better. I hate when people assume you’re a slob that eats junk all day because you’re not tiny! you’re right about that, hence why I love following Instagram reality and seeing how much women edit the photos to convey a “Standard beauty” that’s often unattainable. It’s a hard mindset to override though, so I work on it e…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 04:19 PM
1

Why thank you <3 I could certainly lose a few pounds (mostly parked in my hips and ass, haha) but I’m learning to appreciate myself more.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 03:07 PM
3

I’m all up for equality and sensitivity in both genders, but that’s something I don’t tolerate on women, let alone men. Be in control with your emotions, you’re a friggin adult! it was very off putting, and I couldn’t do it any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 03:04 PM
3

Haha that’s me in the avatar, I don’t consider myself particularly beautiful so I definitely have a bit of an ugly duckling syndrome. I thought I had to be blonde, hyper skinny and tall. Raised in a conservative catholic/Mexican home in a very small town, it was nice to meet someone that seemed so understanding, open minded and a feminist. My horizons weren’t broad enough! He was caring and loving like I’ve never seen before. I now thankfully have met other men that are sensitive while being mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 02:00 PM
5

I was 100% married to a beta. I thought I was making the “smart choice” by going for the “sweet and nice guy” and I realized later that he was full of insecurities, traumas, would rarely initiate sex and wanted me to take the lead on almost anything. He was indeed kind, sweet and caring in many ways, not a “bad guy” It made me feel like I was married to a woman. He would enjoy clothes shopping, he is very metro and VERY petite (around 115 pounds!) I was never 100% physically attracted but I figu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 05:03 AM
3

Quite the opposite. I’m incredibly grateful for the relationships I’ve had. I’m a 35 woman and having been in a marriage/LTRs taught me a lot about myself and others. How to effectively communicate has been the most important one. Dealing with insecurities and jealousy, what I want sexually. Boundaries, boundaries and let me say it again: boundaries! Not trying to discredit yours or anyone’s experience, but 17 is still quite young. I’m glad I didn’t stay with anyone I dated when I was in the 17-…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 04:44 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter