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stargazer35 Archive

View 8 posts and 54 comments by stargazer35 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

OMG this guy is me, but in my case about 3 months after taking the pill! Clear from the post Op is trying to "win" his wife back and this is one big covert contract at the moment. Op don't talk to your wife about this stuff, period. Keep at it, working on you. Take it one step at a time, focus on that step and go slowly. Don't expect or aim to change anything in the bedroom yet. So if you're new to lifting, get that nailed - eg form, form, and them some more form, getting to the gym regular, die…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/16 11:09 AM
1

Out of interest and off topic, HTF do you hide smoking anyway? I mean when my missus has even been in a smokers house for 15 minutes, I can smell it on her as soon as she walks in the door. Cigarette stench just clings to everything.
/r/askMRP03/05/16 11:27 AM
1

I do Karate since going MRP. I find it complements lifting heavy weight well. Karate trains cardio, balance and flexibility, and lifting is for strength/muscle. Every class we do some Kumite (aka sparring) but its light contact only. I think it would fall down on self defense though vs something like kick boxing or the like. With Karate there is more focus on correct form/techique vs outright strength and speed.
/r/askMRP29/04/16 01:14 PM
1

Do you lift? I am 38 am my T levels going in were that of a 50 year old. A clean diet, Stronglifts 5x5 (made up of big compound lifts) and a good vitamen D3 supplement have helped me. Its taken me about 4 months training/diet but I can now squat my body weight on the bar and my upper legs are like tree trunks. The side effect is your sex drive goes up!
/r/askMRP29/04/16 10:33 AM
2

Not a question, but just wanted to call out the section on applying dread in this book. It's gold dust. After reading MRP and all the pre-req books I had this wrong and its a big red fook up I need to put right quick. I'm dialing back dread now until I am good/practiced on the first few chapters, then I will do this one slow. This book is worth reading just for that section, the concepts are spelled out well in the side bar, but applying them correctly and at the right pace just isn't or I misse…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 08:33 AM
2

Just re-watched that, I guess the key bit is shitty tone but also not shitty but generally disrespectful given the circumstance, but interperating this correctly at the time. I think this is where I need to practice. I do say "yes" too much at the moment though.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 08:18 AM
1

The former, good replies above. I will think on this and try to apply. Its gonna be fake it till you make it for a while though.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 07:09 AM
1

That's a pretty good summary of old me, pre pill. Still a way to go but getting better. But this thread is about clarification on the book, not me so who cares.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/16 07:06 AM
1

You're on point with some of that. zero game true, zero social life outside her/family true. "Scared to make her unhappy" - no, I used to be. I had a life on eggshells, not any more. The lack of social life is not for want of trying and I do go out do my own stuff, martial arts for example. "She knows I am not leaving" - very wrong. I've done it before. It was pre pill and for all the wrong reasons, I was a real asshole and in a bad place, and was a total train wreck. Hurt me, hurt her and our k…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 06:12 PM
1

You're on point with some of that. zero game true, zero social life outside her/family true. "Scared to make her unhappy" - no, I used to be. I had a life on eggshells, not any more. The lack of social life is not for want of trying and I do go out do my own stuff, martial arts for example. "She knows I am not leaving" - very wrong. I've done it before. It was pre pill and for all the wrong reasons, I was a real asshole and in a bad place, and it was a total train wreck. Hurt me, hurt her and ou…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 06:12 PM
5

Q: Preselection. So we all know it works and its important. A man needs options right? What if you have simply unattractive looks. You get fit, hit the gym, loose the weight. Your body looks good with your shirt off, but your face is, well your face. When you go out you're not naked, and women will primarily be attracted by your looks. They can't see your muscles, how much $$$ you have and unless you engage with them (no longer covert), your game is useless too. How can covert pre-selection work…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 05:46 PM
4

Q: Dread Level 1 - Shit Tests. How to identify them? So not the obvious ones (sarcastic, shitty tone), but the ones where its clear wifey is showing you are low value. Example 1: interupting your work with something urgent thats not really urgent at all and getting all pissy when you politely say it can wait. Example 2: Endless honey do lists, ie you can't go out without getting a job to do. Do these count as Shit tests, should they be handled as such?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 05:35 PM
1

very constructive. Care to elborate?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 05:17 PM
2

You know what, I can't answer that. Even when I think on it, we don't really argue, I don't just give in either. Yet she still seems to get things her way though. This coming months (May) focus area for me is going to be emotional frame, so I will observe this carefully. I think part of the fault maybe I listen to her like you would a guy. I hear the words, understand the meaning and take it at face value. Her reality becomes mine, ie I am drawn into her frame. I'm a natural problem solver so if…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:42 PM
1

Busted on that one. Social life outside family/wifey is none existent. Zero pre-selection effect/dread here and I know I need to sort this out. I've had a few attempts but so far no good.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 01:35 PM
1

Sure I do, its not a Boolean state. Given how I came into red pill I am a million miles better (when I look back it really does make me want to puke), yet I'm still a joke by the standards on here.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:50 PM
1

No I'm not Jaded (yet) I have a mindset more along the lines of Hope for the best, plan for the worst. I recognize I still have issues to fix and as such I can't be sure the marriage is dead as lets face it, I could be partial or complete cause. Once I am right we'll see how things go. Oh gaming other women, well, let me save that one for a question on the BP prof's book thread I am going to create.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:48 PM
1

Don't agree with this. I do GAF about wifey and will right up until the point of doing the F Me of F you speech (and I am hoping I won't have to). What I do need to fix is the neediness bit though. I think its okay to care but it has to be unconditional or its just care taking. As for attraction, I've had to alter my perception of it. Sure she can be attracted to how I make her feel, just not me as a person.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:43 PM
1

No I have a MAP, been running it a good 6 months. Good improvements in physical fitness, weight, diet goals. Decent improvement on financials but sweet bugger all on emotional/social/marriage goals.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/16 12:40 PM
2

A healthy person generally wont stay in a LTR with a dysfunctional person. You're working to fix you, but is she really miss perfect? Sure thats not a one-itis view? Just something to keep in mind as once you try to change and put yourself right you may find she actually works to stop you. For now your strategy is the same either way. STFU and don't say anything. Work on your MAP and you be the change. Good luck, its a long thankless road this one.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/16 01:05 PM
7

Which she can't BTW without steriods. Male t-levels are way way higher, even in older guys. We are designed that way and our genetics care nothing for modern feminism BS.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 08:36 AM
1

I wish my wife would compete with me at the gym! When you see the women with there super tight gym butts, yes I'd like some of that please! As for pull ups, she has an advantage as shes lighter than you. Also on confidence. About 5 years ago (when I was still a Beta Billy nice guy) wifey started weight watchers and dropped 2 stone in 8 months, new dresses etc.. It put her SMV a good 2 points above mine easy as I was overweight a bit then. It really made me insecure and caused a few arguments. In…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 08:28 AM
1

Can't fathom the reddit post editor, its numbered correctly 1,2,3 when I edit and when I save it messes it up ????
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/16 08:24 AM
1

Wifey has always had a higher SMV than me. With age/guy/wall advantage + getting a gym bod, I am equal I'd say. Social circle is a big red area for me. One I am trying to fix but its not easy when you work from home!
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/16 10:21 AM
2

I wasn't after reassurance, I know we walk this path alone and no-one gives 2 s**ts. I'm not moping either. I wish I was, then I'd know to give myself a kick up the arse. I find joy in my stuff, gym etc.. just not so much in the relationship. When I said "not the RP man", I should have put not the RP husband I should be, as in I am not gaming, flirting, dread, sorting out dates but I take care of the house, family, finances and make sure everything that needs to get done does etc.. I guess what …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/16 12:04 PM
2

Echo Ops opinion on SL 5x5, I'm pushing close to age 40 myself, and never lifted in my life until last year when I joined the gym. I'm about 4 weeks into SL 5x5. I like SLs but the squats are hard going on me. I've had to de-load already due to hurting my lower back due to bad form. Currently I am at 60kg bench, 50kg squat, 70kg Deadlift and rows 47.5kg. Just failed on 32.5kg OHP today but again my form was wrong, working on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/16 03:37 PM
1

Funny enough I was listening to this song a couple of weeks back, whilest preparing gym diet food for my new healthy version of me and thought the same. This song just describes growing up in the matrix, blue pill.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 05:40 PM
1

I've been reading "His needs, her needs" lately. Its not red pill at all, infact theres stuff in there that would make you guys cringe! But it did make me theorise something of why our concepts of OI and work on yourself and be happy with yourself for yourself methods work. The book presents that "most" womens primary need is for genuine affection from her hubby. Just like "most" blokes primarily need physical affection in the form of sex. Sounds easy to give a women affection, but its not as it…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/16 05:23 PM
2

Only say sorry if you think you did wrong. You're the judge of your own actions like the books say. Say sorry once and not all the time for the same thing. Another one to watch, true sorry's are unconditional. A sorry, but ... is not sorry at all. Remember that, I notice women tend to fall into this trap ALOT, they say sorry but are not really sorry at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 03:36 PM
1

lol its me who'll get flamed! I think you got flamed enough already! I'd suggest you ask you while honestly, if she feels you show her enough affection. See what her answer is. Just don't DEER it if the answer you get isn't the one you want. Just say Okay and STFU. Then its actions not words. I'd say a week to 2 weeks trying this.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 03:33 PM
1

OP I'd suggest this (and I'll get flamed for it), but shit what have you got to loose right? First keep up your good RP stuff Gym, work on yourself, have your own interests, be cool/aloof Stop your bad/miss read RP stuff Stop asking for sex, don't talk about it anymore Stop bitching and moaning at her no matter how pissed you are, suck it up and take it out on the gym. Don't withdraw affection/attention due to lack of sex at all Start doing this; Show her some (I said some, not go Beta bitch boy…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/16 02:04 PM
2

One of the best replies on here I've read in a while. A big help to me too. The stronger I get, the weaker "we" get if you get meaning.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/16 01:20 PM
1

When I found the MRP and started to lift I was amazed I enjoyed it too. Never exercised in my life and I'm 38. Wifey calls me Gym junkie now! I re-did my wardrobe too and I can echo the other comments, it did/does make me feel more confident (as does lifting). As a simple example, the other day I put some decent clothes on just to go to Tesco to sort out a mobile SIM, just for the sake of making the effort. Accidently I went to completely the wrong place in store (woman behind counter was boxing…
/r/askMRP26/01/16 10:21 AM
2

This is a weak area for me too. Getting better at it slowly. What I find makes it much harder is not having strong OI and DGAF. You can mask being butt hurt but if you are, then the last thing you want to do is game your wife. I think this is why the books deal with the basics first and game and dread is later on.
/r/askMRP21/01/16 09:18 AM
2

Dude, download the CLU app for your phone and track her cycle (she just told you the last day of her period so you can work out day 1 easy enough). In about 10 days to 14 days time she is going to be in the sunshine period and that's when your best chance is to go all alpha caveman on her. Married man sex life primer book talks this well. Period = do your "to do" shit, PMS - ++BETA traits (the healthy ones), Sunshine = CAPTAIN CAAAAAVVVEEE MAN :-) Later, once you've run your map for a good while…
/r/askMRP21/01/16 09:14 AM
1

Thanks for the replies guys. Its good to know frame doesn't mean having to lead everything! I like the idea of rewarding her for leading her stuff well too, need to give that a go. Flowers always seem to work well for wifey.
/r/askMRP21/01/16 09:08 AM
1

Op if you've already used fogging, neg inquiry etc.. tried to get to the root of it but this shit testing is happening nearly every time or every time then you may need to escalate your response a bit. Your a high value man whos time is precious and you value how you use that time. If she is going to constantly bitch at you, make it clear this results in less time with her. You: love we have had this convo several times, let it go. Her: bla bla bla, more shit test. You, right well I don't want t…
/r/askMRP20/01/16 05:07 PM
1

eeeeekkk no! First, only ever apologise once, and only then if you did something wrong. Keep saying sorry is DLV and makes you look weak, beta. Second, YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HER FEELINGS. Shes a big girl she can deal with her own insecurity! Nothing wrong with looking at a good looking lady. Third, Dread is not about getting her to think you will leave her, that's a bad thing. She needs to trust you. Dread is about making it clear you COULD cheat if you wanted to (but you don't want to as …
/r/askMRP20/01/16 04:50 PM
2

I'm not RP expert but I'd say no. Infact as a rule of thumb when you tell someone to do something, they will either; A: not listen/argue and you'll piss them off B: will do as you say out of fear or some other controlling reason and guess what they'll still not like you for it. The red pill way is a more covert control. They do what you say because they "want" to make you happy. You don't directly tell them, you lead (read co-erce) them into what you want. Read how to make friends and influence …
/r/askMRP20/01/16 01:32 PM
1

I have 3 kids. They change your life and your outlook for sure. Now I have them I wouldn't want to be without them. When wifey fell pregnant with child #1 I was as terrified as I was excited as he was a surprise deal. My advice, if you're not sure, thinking about it then you're not ready. Wait, work on yourself, your marriage if you think its too BP and think about it again when your mid 30's. Trust me being too BP when bringing up kids makes it much harder. You and your partner need to be air t…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/16 12:51 PM
1

OP do you actually "need" to do this? Is she using sex as a control over you? Do you have oneitis (ie you see her as the golden pussy, only girl in the world ya de da). Do you have a life and own interests outside your marriage?
/r/askMRP12/01/16 04:11 PM
6

The book advises it to break a nice guys oneitis, also to remove the womans ability to weaponise sex and to teach the man to NGAF. I've considered it myself as in my married its weaponized for sure.
/r/askMRP12/01/16 04:09 PM
0

I'm newish but reading that, I really hope it works for me some day. At the moment even if my gym body was where it needs to be and that happened, wifey would go ape shit, (try and) give me the major shaming and not come near me for a month. She would actively withold sex as a control method to stop me flirting.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 11:38 AM
14

Dont agree with the above. Being RP doesn't mean you wont have a shit day. shit happens. The Op didn't bitch or moan about it (except here which is ok) he just got on with it and banged his wife at the end of the day. I'd call that a success in the face of head winds.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/16 11:17 AM
2

Op doesn't care (ie I read that as want/desire) any women and having sex is just "nice" RED FLAG! First thing, make an appointment with your GP and get your Testosterone levels checked. Your man switch may actually be in the off position dude.
/r/askMRP10/01/16 11:06 AM
1

If your new, read married mans sex life primer by athol kay. He does a good job of describing what we call the MAP. This will ensure you focus on the basics first and progress in a healthy way. Personally I would not be trying dread yet. Get shit tests nailed, STFU, and start building your frame first. PS I PM'd you too.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/16 07:07 PM
1

lol I have never really been into stargazing. The Beta me picked that name years ago as I always seemed to be staring at the sun and happy to go blind, like in the U2 song.
/r/askMRP08/01/16 12:04 PM
2

Thanks for the replies guys. I had thought as much, guess I need to work harder on expanding my social circle then! I have been trying and not making much progress to date.
/r/askMRP07/01/16 04:10 PM
3

Dude don't go too alpha all at once like I did. I found TRP before MRP and went into full arsehole mode lol. Totally nuked the first shit test and walked out! Took me a bit time to dial it back and learn the alpha/beta mix to become "the oak" (still working on it to be honest). If you haven't seen them the red pill professors vids on the side bar are excellent for us married guys.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/01/16 08:57 PM
2

I've tried more hands on, instigate, isolate, escalate, especially in her sunny period, gone caveman once or twice. Its had the opposite effect, her complaining my sex drive is too high (starfish once a week).
/r/askMRP06/01/16 03:37 PM
1

Yup I am at dread level 5. Guess I need to start learning PUA then.
/r/askMRP06/01/16 03:32 PM
1

Dude, when they described "plate theory", this is not what they had in mind lol! Jokes aside a bit OTT for my liking. You've got what you want via a negative enforcing behavior. Okay you got sex but you won't have created any genuine desire in the process so in the long run its bad. Remember genuine desire cannot be negotiated or forced. You have to use TRP techniques to create it, the long and hard way.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/12/15 11:24 AM
1

As a fairly newbie here (a month in on MRP) You need to read the side bar, but theres ALOT of material. So for a quick overview and the essentials I can recommend the Blue Pill Professors videos on the side bar link. You can watch them all in maybe 3 hours and they are simply excellent. Just get some private time to do it. As for your situation, MRP should help but by the sound of it, if you're not already married, have have kids, or any ties, it would be easier to next her (sorry).
/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/15 06:35 PM
3

Newbie AFC in a LTR here. I'm only 3 weeks in but have read the rational male, models, no more Mr nice guy etc.. Wow what a wake up call. Joined a gym and started to work on my strength. Its helped my confidence but the real challenge is going to be changing my behavior and mindsets. I agree with the Op that's going to need practice. The way I see it, baby steps. Pick something easy to start with (for example walk past random good looking woman and maintain eye contact), keep at it until its nat…
/r/TheRedPill12/11/15 02:26 PM
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