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studley1337 Archive

View 0 posts and 30 comments by studley1337 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

Took me around 5 months to start mentally accepting some realities about my marriage ending. I always liked, loved, and trusted my stbxw. I never changed for the worse, stayed true to myself, and for the vast vast majority of important things I’m proud how I was as a husband. The issue is at some point my wife no longer liked, loved, or trusted me. That was completely out of my control since like I said I was never “not me”. Example, day after my wife told me she wanted a divorce she asked me if…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 02:17 PM
3

Isn’t this fucking crazy? I dated my stbx 5 years before we got married and it didn’t matter. Meanwhile I work with someone who married someone in Vegas a month after meeting them and they’ve been together 30 years. It really does just feel like luck of the draw.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:31 PM
1

Yeah it is tough but I’m doing much much better than my lowest point. I only shared the things that I really regret since that was the question but I know I’ve got super good qualities too and things I did as a husband I’m really proud of. It’s not my fault my ex wife didn’t appreciate or communicate with me. I’ve been in weekly therapy for probably 4 months. It’s been helpful. Really helped me shed that self blame part. I’m also went from 205 pounds to start the year to 165 now, best shape Ive …
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 07:21 PM
2

When my wife dumped me she hit me with a massive list of things she didn’t like about me. Some were completely crazy, some were things I had zero clue she felt, and some were fair criticisms I never got a chance to fix. Self blame has been a huge thing I’ve had to battle. I know I wasn’t a terrible irredeemable husband but I tend to accept criticisms to improve so some things I really regret. The ones that really stick out are not doing enough dishes, not throwing her any birthday parties (I’d h…
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 06:12 PM
2

Therapy has been a good recovery tool for me so I’d definitely recommend it. Just take it day by day and you’ll figure it out. I had something similar where I kind of had to build up the mental strength to start going to restaurants we went to a lot together by myself. It’s uncomfortable and can hurt but for me it’s about taking back all the things in life I enjoy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 05:23 PM
2

I loved to watch the TV show Alone with my ex wife. She was so picky and weird about what she watched (literally refused to watch anything rated R lol) but we had a lot of fun always following each season. I’m still going to keep watching new seasons. If you like watching TV shows then do it man. Don’t give her that power over you, it might sting at first but you’re only depriving yourself. Do what brings you joy.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 04:25 PM
2

Agreed. My fairy tail version of my ex wife, who I loved and trusted, was a great person. In reality she wasn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 03:25 PM
3

You’re 100% right. It’s sad but it’s a flaw selfish people of both genders have.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:13 PM
1

Mind sharing any of the minor symptoms/red flags? I’m assuming it got really bad in late 30s?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 07:24 PM
1

Sorry that happened. Hope you’re doing ok. What age did your ex get diagnosed/start behaving differently?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 01:01 PM
2

Or the lines my stbxw hit me with “you should have just known” and “I shouldn’t have to say these things”.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:00 PM
12

My wife, who I deeply cared about, dumped me 5 months ago. I’m still not emotionally ready to be with new women because I actually really valued my marriage. For her to be separated from you for 2.5 months and be fucking other dudes means she does not give a fuck about you. This will end with you being hurt again. Find someone who would be devastated with you gone for 2.5 months. Idk how long you were together but I don’t feel like 4 months of mourning a marriage is setting a very high bar.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 10:08 PM
3

Sorry man, I hope you’re doing ok. I’ve kind of come to the conclusion my wife has mental illness, didn’t ever love me, or was cheating(or a combination of these things). It sucks but given some distance I feel like I got relatively lucky for how awful divorce is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 01:39 PM
22

I know exactly how you feel. My wife and I had never had a serious argument or fight during our relationship. Day before she told me she didn’t love me anymore and turned into a completely different person we had an IVF appointment. We were planning vacations, home improvements, actively trying to convince. After that she completely shut me out like we didn’t spend every day together for 9 years. Told me “she deserved better” and some horrible shit that you’d think we had the worst relationship …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 11:14 PM
1

Totally understandable, it took me a month to get my mind right enough to consider trying therapy. Online therapy is a huge segment for health insurance so using your site will likely get you the best price and the fastest appointment. I know I’m just a random internet stranger but I’m rooting for you. You’ve got this.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 12:55 PM
1

Do you have health insurance? If so you definitely have options for online therapy. I started seeing a therapist online after using a program that’s listed on my health insurance portal. It’s been really helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 12:26 PM
2

I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too man. It’s a horrible experience. I really hope your journey leads you to a happy fulfilling life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 07:17 PM
2

I think in my case I was with someone who was very unhappy with their life and wanted out. It makes me feel very sorry for her because she lost someone who really cared about her (who apparently she did love for close to a decade), a ton of great friends, family, and a bright future. Like the comment above said some people view others as disposable or they simply can’t deal with any form of turbulence (no matter how small).
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 07:04 PM
1

Real life example of what my stbxw said was an example of me not thinking of her needs “I’ve been asking you for years to go to a psychic/medium with me and you refused”. I told her I didn’t believe in it, it made me uncomfortable because it was exploitive in my mind, but I fully supported her going with friends or anyone else she’d like to go with. She held that against me for YEARS and had it ready to go as a reason I was a bad partner for her.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 04:34 PM
6

This is so crazy accurate. I used to have to read my stbxw body language when something bugged her. When she wanted a divorce all the things we “compromised” on in the past became huge flaws of mine.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 12:10 AM
2

I’m really sorry this happened to you man. I’ve been struggling with a ton of self blame and really understand the Covid thing. One thing my therapist recommended that made me feel better is physically write a list of everything big and small that you did right in your relationship. I can tell you right now being willing to step up and take care of your kids and house to help your families (not your wifes) business should be at the top of that list. That alone many many women would do anything f…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 01:35 PM
2

This is 100% my marriage. When everything in life was constantly moving forward she was incredibly happy and would say so. After years of trying and facing certain infertility on her part and I became the problem. I was thrown away so quickly and easily it proved to me she didn’t love me, she loved the things I helped her achieve.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 04:04 PM
7

It’s our fault for marrying someone who didn’t love us. When you actually love someone they’re not discardable. Lots of marriages fail where people do everything right and lots of marriages endure where people do everything wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 11:58 AM
3

My stbxw literally went to a medium/psychic instead of spending time with me a few days after she hit me with divorce. I knew at that point she was completely out of reality.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 04:17 AM
8

Thank you for the reply. So much of this resonated with me. My wife became unhappy In between these huge accomplishments we had and I could never understand. I’d say “we have so much to be happy and grateful for” but I could still tell something was wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 09:39 PM
9

Thank you for the thoughtful reply. I think you just helped me think of another red flag I’ll consider going forward. My wife was very much part of this “all my friends are doing this” mindset and spent a lot of time on Facebook liking stuff from people I’d never met in our 9 year relationship. I think I just need to find someone who loves life in general, my wife was always somewhat unhappy about something that was difficult to control.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 08:01 PM
7

Couldn’t agree more. I hated this article. If you’d leave someone because you take offense to something as innocent as unwashed glasses you deserve to be alone.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 06:47 PM
18

How do you find a partner who won’t secretly check out, build an inventory of why they hate you, and never give you a chance to fix the relationship? Do these women ever find real happiness? Some of the things I’ve heard my STBXW say are just not based on what actually happened. I really loved my wife and being married and it hurts to know how easily and privately she could drop me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 03:44 PM
6

This is 95% my failed marriage. I really loved being married, how does anyone know the person they’re marrying won’t privately check out on them.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 03:32 PM
10

This made me feel better about my walk away wife situation. I’ve been blown away by some of the mental gymnastics I’ve heard to make me some villain.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 05:01 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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