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successfulblackwoman Archive

View 0 posts and 60 comments by successfulblackwoman on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Good plan. Did you get those records notarized, or at least turn them over to your lawyer? Please keep us updated.
/r/MensRights03/11/13 07:10 AM
3

I had a brother who went through the same thing. He was acquitted because the accuser made the mistake of claiming the assault happened during a time he was physically present with me. I was his alibi and that probably saved him. Timing is important here. What are the exact charges? What's the timeframe and scope of the act? Get as much information as you can. Make sure your defender knows about the phone call. Get the records or save them. Anything, any tiny detail could be useful. I hope you d…
/r/MensRights02/11/13 10:20 PM
1

Indeed. I am so used to poverty and race being one issue, I didn't even notice I had not mentioned it until you did.
/r/MensRights18/08/13 04:03 AM
2

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Rather, it is that we must consider men who do not want to be breadwinners, men who are gay, men who are traditionally masculine and gain pride from being outdoorsy, and really the right of any man to be what he wants, provided that he directly or indirectly harms no one else in the process of doing so. If we tell a man he needs to be mindful of how he approaches a woman for dating, we must also consider how he's expected to make contact at all. If we tell …
/r/MensRights17/08/13 09:08 AM
6

I suppose that's a reasonable complaint. I'm not an MRA but I am concerned with the rights of men because I have family members specifically affected by the problems men experience. It's fair to say that I agree with many of your goals, though I often take issue with the path the movement takes. I would hope people would weight by POV more by the former than the latter.
/r/MensRights17/08/13 02:32 AM
6

I'm a black woman, not a black man, but I may have some perspective here. 1.) Yes, intersectionality makes sense. It's possible to greatly mitigate the effects of one kind of oppression by having privileged status in another. I'd rather be a rich black woman than a poor white man, no matter what downsides exist. 2.) My brother was accused of rape. I was his alibi, but it still went to trial, astonishingly. A white man would probably not have even gone to trial. A lot of what men complain about h…
/r/MensRights17/08/13 12:29 AM
4

Oh no. It doesn't work like that. A group using a word "for themselves" does not give you, the outsider, the "right" to use that word. Some lesbians call themselves dykes, some black people refer to themselves with the n word, and some women call themselves sluts, but when you, an outsider, do any of those things it looks bad. I'm not saying that's how it should or should not be. I never call myself by a word I would not want other people to call me. But you cannot fall into the trap of thinking…
/r/MensRights04/06/13 08:13 PM
1

Eh, point.
/r/MensRights07/01/13 03:27 AM
6

And lesbians too. ;-)
/r/MensRights04/01/13 07:52 PM
2

Sort of true. I was banned from SRS proper because I also post in anti-SRS, because I like to get opinions from all sides. If you feel the content of what I choose to post here is problematic, I would be glad to hear your reasoning.
/r/MensRights04/08/12 10:26 AM
4

Rare for me to post here, but your questions caught my eye. I hold a lot of beliefs that would qualify as feminist. However, I advocate for a number of causes which MR also advocates for, like reform on the way alimony is calculated, the idea that fathers should have equal access to their kids, and the idea that the justice system needs to treat the accused a hell of a lot better. I'm wary to call myself either feminist or MRA, because it's a broad flag which a lot of people fly and there's a lo…
/r/MensRights04/08/12 06:23 AM
2

Hey OP, follow up and tell us if they mention male-on-male exclusively. I'm quite curious to know.
/r/MensRights04/08/12 05:51 AM
0

Really? Are you kidding me? Most of the guys I know have the opposite problem. They don't ask for help. Guys are raised to be all tough and stoic, admitting you are hurting or needing help can be a career limiting move at work, and isn't looked upon well socially. Guys will often treat a failing marriage like they personally failed. I've seen far too many guys bear shame in quiet because things were falling apart, only to find out much later how bad it was. Each time I asked, "Why didn't you jus…
/r/MensRights04/08/12 05:48 AM
9

a poor man had more power than an extremely rich black woman. I'm going to guess this particular woman has never actually met a rich black woman. Money doesn't eliminate racism or sexism, but it sure reduces its impact. There's no way in hell I'd become a white male at the cost of financial security.
/r/MensRights18/07/12 05:55 PM
3

Thanks for explaining. I was very confused.
/r/seduction25/06/12 08:11 PM
1

All to herself when she wants him to be, refer to point #8
/r/MensRights09/04/12 07:46 PM
103

So apparently, I need to date a guy who doesn't have a lot of sexual experience but also isn't a clinger, someone who doesn't spend a lot of time with "his bros" playing sports or going to the bar, but also someone who doesn't have a lot of female friends, and who ALSO isn't a creep. And bonus bi-phobia. Agreed. Fuck everything about this.
/r/MensRights08/04/12 10:36 PM
2

I'm not actually against your points, but I would point one thing out: as a society we have decided that being forced to do something financially is okay, and being forced to do something physically is not. This is why the government can levy a tax on an otherwise honest individual, but can't enslave them. (Even jail needs the pretext of a crime, and we haven't had a draft in a while, thankfully.) Financial obligation to a child is more like the former, and being forced to carry a child to term …
/r/MensRights06/03/12 08:47 PM
11

This, right here, is one of the most brilliant bits of idea marketing I have ever seen. Well done r/MR. I've always felt uncomfortable at the whole "if men don't want to be fathers they shouldn't have sex" line because I've heard it before -- directed at me as a woman. So, yes, this "gender reverse what Santorum said, oh look it's what you're saying" is superb.
/r/MensRights06/03/12 08:38 PM
5

This may come as a giant shock to you, but it's possible to agree with some parts of a subreddit and not all. I'm pretty sure my posting history reflects that I've always been against a profit motive for the state, because of unrelated experiences. I'm really, honestly curious, how does "I don't agree with you on every point, but I will stand with you on this one" count as trolling?
/r/MensRights03/03/12 01:23 AM
9

In my experience this is the number one cause of bullshit issues with the legal system. I might not agree with Mens Rights on every facet of every issue, but step one should be ensuring the state does not profit from any ruling. There can be no rational discussion about fair rules until the profit motive is removed.
/r/MensRights02/03/12 11:35 PM
9

You got one. I will support any legislation which removes any potential for the state to make money off of child support payments. I've seen how "the state makes money by declaring you guilty" when it comes to other matters, and while I haven't personally been affected by child support, I have no reason to think its any better.
/r/MensRights01/03/12 06:04 AM
2

Yep, that's exactly what I'm talking about. STEM, Law, and Finance remain the areas where long hours, high pressure, and high pay are the norm, and STEM, Law, and Finance are areas you don't see women going into. And why should they, when the dominant culture says that it's "okay" for a woman to marry a richer guy, but a man marrying a significantly richer woman is somehow a failure. Social expectations and pressures drive choices which drive the wage gap. The solution I hear most men advocate i…
/r/MensRights17/02/12 06:24 AM
2

The studies you link don't run contrary to my experience. However, phonetics is not mathematics. It's also not nearly as subjectively marked. Meanwhile, if you look at math in particular, girls have barely caught up to overall tests in 2008, and there remains a widespread cultural bias that math and science are not girl sciences. Edit: Link went down like the moment I posted, how annoying, here's a summary mirror. These are not mutually exclusive. Sex stereotyping says that girls are the better …
/r/MensRights17/02/12 06:07 AM
1

That's not what I'm saying at all. That's almost the exact opposite of what I'm saying.
/r/MensRights16/02/12 03:41 AM
5

No surprise there. Modern western civilization gives women an easier out. If you're going to get ostracized from your family for going to school, you're going to pick something that lets you survive. Imagine if students of any gender were told "go this route and you're on your own." I doubt you'd see as many chasing down degrees with a low ROI. Instead we have a society of easy credit and an expectation that everyone will get a degree in something. My issue is that the education system actually …
/r/MensRights15/02/12 09:07 PM
4

How can you say the attitude is prevalent when you only have your anecdotal experience to go on? Because I've seen the attitude outside of guidance councilors, and I'm not the only person to have this experience, and because the studies of stereotype threat have shown that implied expectations of students can set a very high precedent for actual behavior.
/r/MensRights15/02/12 09:02 PM
7

I don't want to assume it was due to sex. It was. My gender came up multiple times during the discussion. This may have been a particularly incompetent guidance councilor and not indicative of the whole, but the attitude is prevalent. For the same work, no they don't; not in any appreciable amount anyways. You're correct. My point is that as long as women believe the guy will make more, they will not prioritize their own income. It doesn't help that there's a degree of pressure on women to "marr…
/r/MensRights15/02/12 06:38 PM
4

The real problem I have is that there's an inertia of assumptions. I was pushed by guidance councilors away from math and technology, and I knew far too many female friends who assumed that they'd end up choosing between family and career. Most women think this because, among other social expectations of nurturing, the guy is going to be making more money, right? It's a self fulfilling prophecy, and a hard one to fix though ham-handed legislation.
/r/MensRights15/02/12 06:02 PM
9

The legal "theory" is that a man might quit his job just to avoid paying child support. You know, like how non-divorced fathers quit their job all the time when they have kids.
/r/MensRights03/02/12 01:10 AM
13

This is why the state needs to have zero financial stake in child support. Money needs to go from one parent to another, and the state should see none of it.
/r/MensRights07/01/12 01:03 PM
1

This is a step in the right direction, but I'm not sure how I feel about penetration being required. There are lots of ways to abuse either gender without penetration. At least it's worded gender neutral.
/r/MensRights07/01/12 12:52 PM
1

That's a fair assessment.
/r/MensRights05/01/12 07:31 PM
4

Did this study address the source -- innate or programmed -- at all? I don't think a personality factor questionnaire can tell you if a difference is genetic or socialized.
/r/MensRights05/01/12 04:41 AM
6

Bullshit. There is no cost--if she wasn't doing it then he'd be doing it himself. If she wasn't doing it, than he'd either be a.) working more or b.) hiring a maid service. That provides value. Perhaps not necessarily half of his income (how much harder is it to clean a 500k home versus a 200k home?) but it should be worth something. Personally, I think the best way to handle this would be if stay-at-home spouses got a work contract, with money deposited into their own, personal account, and an …
/r/MensRights02/01/12 04:06 AM
0

Get one. You can be damn sure I will when I get married.
/r/MensRights02/01/12 04:01 AM
1

I missed this comment earlier, but thank you for being able to make the distinction.
/r/MensRights01/01/12 07:28 AM
2

I had the "fun" experience of trying to hammer out a bi-gendered advocacy club at my university. It quickly made me realize how difficult it is to do. I recently posted a "hey, here's some stuff that MRAs can do for PR, from my external POV" and my mailbox got both a flood of happy, supportive messages (many of them private) and some of the worst vitriol from the most unfortunate human beings I've had the experience of witnessing. This did not surprise me. I learned a long time ago that when it …
/r/MensRights29/12/11 12:25 AM
5

shrug Seems a good a word as any. Shorter to type than "non-trans."
/r/MensRights29/12/11 12:10 AM
1

Sorry, try /r/RadicalFeminism/ And then leave them alone. Seriously, they're a "ban males on sight" type place, check the rules. The greatest victory we've managed to achieve is at least getting them to put the word "radical" in front of their name. I am still not proud to have them under my banner.
/r/MensRights29/12/11 12:08 AM
3

Actually yes. This account is like a week old, but within my own feminist spaces, I've tried to get women to not voice simple man-hating language. Hell, even with this account I've spoken against the use of such language on SRS. These thoughts aren't limited to men alone. They're presented to men alone because it's answering a question about what can be done to improve the MRA PR.
/r/MensRights29/12/11 12:03 AM
5

Yo, it's advice, not orders bro. Many of the things I'm saying apply * precisely* because feminism has the same mirror image problem.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 11:58 PM
11

And this, for anyone else reading, is a classic example how not to manage your PR. ಠ_ಠ
/r/MensRights28/12/11 06:20 AM
17

Originally I was making a play on the Successful Black Man meme. Also my background has also given me an interesting perspective on discrimination at higher levels of society as opposed to poverty. I've been peripherally exposed to living in the inner city, but I've been pretty sheltered. But it's mostly because of the meme.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 05:44 AM
19

Yes. And trust me, I know how irritating that can be. Sometimes you just want to yell and scream at the people who just don't get it. But political correctness goes a long way in being seen respectable. There's a time and a place to be un PC. Lord knows I've done that a lot. But when you fly the flag of a cause, you represent everyone under that flag. You owe it to them to not stain their reputation.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 05:09 AM
1

The fair and valid criticism is fine. I didn't articulate every view correctly, and I've learned a few things I didn't know. Most of you seem polite when extended the same courtesy, and I like that.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 05:00 AM
7

Yeah I can see how re-reading my post I might have been implying that MR had the same general attitude as SRS. So far I haven't seen that here, not exactly. The "seat of honor at the victim table" makes me laugh in a sad way. I've been guilty of this too.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 04:37 AM
7

Fair point.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 03:00 AM
19

Yep, it was exactly this message that got me to go "huh, these MR guys have some pretty legit grievances."
/r/MensRights28/12/11 02:39 AM
35

I appreciate the desire to let anyone have a voice. The problem with letting everyone have a voice is that you get represented by the worst of your kind as well as the best. I'm pretty sure every cause has that problem.
/r/MensRights28/12/11 02:08 AM
32

So on the one hand feminists should not be lumped together because of a few bad apples, but on the other hand MRAs should remove bad apples, lest they will be lumped with them? We're talking PR here, not my personal views. I know that there are many people in the MRA camp who are quite reasonable. It's why I engage with you guys. But the crazies are a bad image. And when I go "oh stop flying my flag" to radfem, it's for the same reason. The crazies in my camp make me look bad. Why accept that pr…
/r/MensRights28/12/11 02:01 AM
171

Here's my take from the outside. 1.) Stop using feminism as the strawman (straw woman?) in all your attacks. Feminism is a broad flag, and many people fly it, some of which have different attitudes than others. I go over to /r/radfem and find myself going "oh Jesus, really? Stop flying my flag" on a regular basis. You can be against the word feminism or you can have good PR with most women. You cannot do both, especially on reddit. 2.) Purge the crazies. Seriously, I followed through on the link…
/r/MensRights28/12/11 12:23 AM
1

Yes. My silicon valley company has great paternity leave, and I've already shouted at one of my nerdlings to "GTFO and give your wife a break, the job will be here when you get back." In my personal experience in America, men are conditioned to think taking time off for their kids is less than manly. I want to fix that.
/r/MensRights27/12/11 11:54 PM
3

The problem with stay at home dads not getting respect is a serious one. I will gladly advocate any PR campaign which breaks the gender role of women being the only good caretakers. I do not want to take away a woman's ability to work... we clawed that into our hands as best we can. Nor do I want to take away a man's ability to work. I want to add a man's ability to be a caretaker, if he so choses. This is not for every man. But it should be available for any man. I find the idea of a man who st…
/r/MensRights27/12/11 11:52 PM
5

As an anecdotal counterpoint, I am actively looking for that kind of individual. Conversely, I totally think men should have the right to be gay, but I would never date a guy like that. ;-)
/r/MensRights27/12/11 09:28 AM
3

As someone who identifies as a feminist, let me say this. When the movement was started, there wasn't equality. And I have to admit, getting rid of tradition is hard to do. I fight for the rights of women out of pure self interest. There are issues which face women which can be won without coming at the costs of men. I don't think ya'll should be calling yourselves egalitarians either! Calling it Men's Rights is a good way to get people to wake up and go, "wait, men have issues too?" I've seen g…
/r/MensRights23/12/11 11:19 PM
4

Really? I read it as, "this affects both genders, but men don't get told it can happen to them." I can't presume to read the intent of everyone here, but your reading of it didn't even occur to me until you said it that way. It is, as you say, a ridiculous statement and I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they mean the reasonable interpretation.
/r/MensRights21/12/11 07:11 PM
2

If I had to hazard a guess, and this is just a guess, I'm the only one who made an observation about male sexual entitlement because I'm the only one posting here who has sex with guys. If you're on a subreddit primarily frequented by heterosexual dudes who are relating their life experiences to a (presumably) heterosexual dude, a lot of the life experiences are going to involve problem women. Hell, if I had a problem women I'd relate that experience first because its closer to the OP, but so fa…
/r/MensRights21/12/11 06:30 PM
3

Well, I educate my sisters where I can. I can't educate your ladyfolk, but I can educate you. And by educate I mean, "provide an emotional backup that carries you through the period of time where you doubt yourself and feel weak." Talk to her when she's NOT feeling horny and rejected. Being horny and feeling rejected makes anyone a little stupid. Try to earnestly explain that this is not cool. If you think that's not going to fly, or you try it, and it doesn't fly, then get the hell out. You don…
/r/MensRights21/12/11 07:57 AM
44

Hey. Can a woman post some support here? Yes? We cool? Ok. I've been in the opposite situation with a boyfriend who was pushy. Sure, I knew that "no means no" but I didn't realize that "no means no and please stop bothering me about it." This lesson took a long time to learn, and when I did learn it, the ability to say "GTFO" was enormously liberating. It should have been my first reaction but we're taught as people to be non-confrontational and respond to pressure. And women actually get some s…
/r/MensRights21/12/11 04:20 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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